Welcome to One Thing Better. Each week, the editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine (that's me) shares one way to be happier and more effective at work — and build a career or company you love.

Today’s edition is sponsored by Kick, my favorite bookkeeping software (for real). See details at the end of the newsletter.

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You have too much to do.

Too many tasks, too many deadlines, too many things to track. Every day feels like a scramble and a failure.

I have the same problem — and today, I’ll share a simple solution that’s helped me.

It’s called a list funnel, and it’s something I learned it from Google’s in-house productivity expert.

The list funnel helps you get things done and reduces your stress.

Today I’ll share how it works — but first, let’s talk about why our current solutions don’t.

Why our lists fail us

Everyone has a to-do list. Those things suck.

Maybe you can relate: My list is a mess. Some items require a lot of work. Some, a little. Some must be done now. Some, next week.

As a result, I’m constantly adding little things — which distract me from the major things! Then I feel anxious because my list keeps growing.

So what’s the solution? Stop making one list — and make a series of lists.

This is the list funnel. I got the idea from Laura Mae Martin, who helps Google executives get organized — that’s literally her job! She wrote a book about productivity that I loved.

Ready to make a list you’ll actually use? Let’s do it...

The list funnel basics

Before I share this, let me say: The next things you see will look overwhelming. You will think, as I did: “That’s a great idea that I’ll never do.”

But STAY WITH ME! Two things to know:

1. You do not have to it all. You can just pick the parts that are most helpful.
   ​

2. I learned about this, sat on it for six months, and only then took action — and I’ll explain how I overcame my reluctance.

OK, here we go.

The list funnel consists of three lists. In Laura’s book, she diagrams them like this:

She offers templates for all this on her site, but I’ll break down the basics here:

Step 1: Make the main list.

This is the full kitchen sink. Everything you need to do, or aspire to do, broken up into categories. Her template looks like this:

Of course, you can make your own categories, based on your own life. The idea is to just separate your tasks out, so that they’re coherent and easy to see.

Step 2: Make the weekly list.

This is everything you need to accomplish this week. Again, she has a template. And here it is:

A reminder of what I said above: You do not need to do all of this.

For example, this template is too complex for me. I don’t need daily themes or habit trackers. But I love how she prioritizes three big items at the top, and then creates space for other stuff underneath.

And finally…

Step 3: Make the daily list.

Every day, a new list. Here’s her template😀 

Again, this isn’t exactly my speed. It’s too complex, and I am not a “today I’m grateful for” kind of guy.

But the daily list has been a game-changer for me — because it’s now how I define success.

In the past, I spent my day scrambling to accomplish things Whack-A-Mole style. By the end, I felt no sense of progress — like chipping away at a mountain.

Now I start my day with a simple daily list. I identify my biggest priorities and systematically check them off. After a block of meetings, I can look at the list and refocus — like, oh yes, that’s what’s left.

If I finish my list, my day feels like a success. I’m no longer as concerned about the other stuff waiting for me — because I know they’re for tomorrow, not today.

Now let’s talk about actually doing this.

To adopt a list funnel, you must change your behavior. That’s not easy — so take a tip from Notion cofounder + CEO Ivan Zhao.

I recently talked with Ivan for a cover story in Entrepreneur. His company has 100 million users — which meant 100 million people stopping using one product and started using his. As a result, he’s thought a lot about what changes people’s behavior.

Here’s his philosophy:

“Vitamins don’t change user behavior,” he told me. “Painkillers do.”

Most things are vitamins. They’re good for us, sure, but we don’t change behavior just because something is good for us. We’re only incentivized to change when we’re in pain. That's when we can see the immediate impact of a solution.

Ever since I heard that, I’ve been applying it everywhere — including myself.

For example:

I learned about the list funnel in April, when I interviewed Laura Mae Martin. But I did not take her advice for six months. It just sounded like too much work.

So, what forced me to change? The answer is pain.

Back in April, the list funnel sounded like a great idea. But I didn’t feel like I needed it. It was a vitamin!

Then I took on some new projects and felt very overwhelmed. My old systems were breaking, and I was in pain. Then I remembered Laura’s list funnels, and I decided to start by making a daily list. But I did it my way, like this:

That’s a daily list from last week. As you’ll see, I’m not using Laura’s template. I just write my priorities at the beginning of the day, and then work through them. (Want to read that Q&A with Chip & Joanna Gaines? It’s here.)

It’s worked well for me, so now I’m experimenting with the weekly lists.

This will work for you… when you need it!

Here’s my point: If you don’t use the list funnels today, that’s fine. You might not be ready.

Back in April, I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t in enough pain. But now I am.

Ideas like this take time. We can’t just change on a whim! We need to evaluate what we do, feel its shortcomings, and perhaps even suffer its consequences.

If you’ve read this far, it’s because you’re feeling overwhelmed by your day. You’re looking for some kind of solution. So ask yourself: Am I ready for a change?

If the answer is no, then that’s fine. Keep going. But please, continue to ask yourself that question. Am I ready for a change? If and when you say yes, now you have a place to start.

We don’t have to be stressed and overwhelmed. We can just get things done.

That’s how to do one thing better.

This bookkeeper saves me so much time!

A few years ago, I signed up for one of the major bookkeeping services. I hated it. So complex! Too many options!

Then I got introduced to Kick — and as soon as they walked me through the platform, I laughed out loud at how simple and easy it was.

True story: I begged them to NOT add more features! It’s so simple, it’s perfect. My books are done automatically and accurately in real-time, my account is optimized for tax savings, and when tax season rolls around, it’s 10x easier than before.

Are you a freelancer? Starting a business? Run multiple businesses? Whatever the case, try out Kick. It takes 5 minutes to set up your accountant, and you’ll be laughing out loud alongside me — knowing that you don’t need to go crazy over accounting anymore.

*sponsored

P.S. Miss last week’s newsletter? It was about how to handle awkward conversations like a pro. Read!

Let's Connect!

New to the newsletter? Subscribe for free and take control of your future.

💌 What do you think? Let me know!

📕 Order my book to future-proof your career!

🎧 Latest podcast: "How To Definitely Say No"

Welcome to One Thing Better. Each week, the editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine (that's me) shares one way to be happier and more effective at work — and build a career or company you love.

Today’s edition is sponsored by Kick, my favorite bookkeeping software (for real). See details at the end of the newsletter.

You hate awkward conversations.

Maybe you just had one. Or you’re avoiding or dreading one. Or you’re just in a room where you don’t know anyone.

You try to hide your awkwardness, but that only makes things worse. It’s like being a teenager again!

Today, I’ll give you a simple antidote to this. It’ll diminish your awkwardness, boost your confidence, and make uncomfortable situations a lot more comfortable.

The trick is this: Lead with your awkwardness.

Because here’s the thing: Awkwardness is our great human equalizer — and when used properly, it helps us relate and connect to others. 

So let’s start with an awkward conversation in the making…

“I’m the new boss, and feeling awkward”

I recently talked with a woman named Mary. She’s getting shunned at the office. 

Mary got promoted above her friends. Now she’s their manager and they resent her. She needs to address the situation, but she’s unsure how.

“It's awkward, and I don't want to be the person who feels awkward,” she told me. “It's hard to be in a position of leadership and have awkward feelings.”

Mary and I talked on my podcast Help Wanted. Take a listen; there’s a lot to unpack! But to me, her admission of awkwardness was the key to everything.

Because although her concern is understandable, it’s also worth asking: Is awkwardness actually a problem here? Or is it the solution?

The upsides of awkwardness

Let’s hit pause on Mary for a moment. And instead, let’s just talk about awkwardness.

By dictionary definition, awkwardness is a combination of things — difficulty, embarrassment, insecurity. But in practice, I think of awkwardness like this:

Awkwardness is the act of doing something, but being painfully aware of your imperfections.

That means awkwardness is an action word. It is the result of boldness! You cannot be awkward unless you do something uncomfortable — and that by itself is commendable. If you’re awkward at parties, for example, then it means you showed up to the party!

Everyone can relate to this. Perhaps it’s why “awkwardness” is peaking right now — just look at this chart from Google, tracking how often the word has appeared in books across the past century:

This makes awkwardness a great leveler! Everyone, at every level of status, feels awkward — and because it’s so relatable, everyone is culturally allowed to feel awkward. 

Put another way: Awkwardness does not negate competency. You can feel awkward and still be viewed as competent.

That makes it a powerful tool in conversations.

Which brings us back to Mary…

Imagine that you’re Mary. She needs to talk with these former friends of hers, but “it's hard to be in a position of leadership and have awkward feelings.”

So what should Mary say? Here’s my answer: Lead with the awkwardness.

Mary could start like this: “Things have been awkward between us, and I realize this conversation may feel kind of awkward, and I feel awkward having it…”

By acknowledging the awkwardness, she de-fangs it. She also humanizes herself without actively soliciting sympathy, and opens the door for her colleague to relax. And none of this undercuts Mary as a leader, because a leader is allowed to feel awkward.

But of course, what comes next is equally important...

Awkwardness must be your springboard

You can admit awkwardness — everyone relates to that! But you can’t actually be super awkward. That’s uncomfortable.

So what do you do? I wrote it above: You lead with your awkwardness.

I borrowed that language from leadership expert Jacob Morgan, who wrote a book called Leading with Vulnerability. He advises this:

People say that vulnerability is a great leadership skill — but that’s only half the formula. “Vulnerability creates connection,” he told me, “but you must also demonstrate competence.” If you only show vulnerability, you seem lost and out of control. But when you admit that you messed up or are feeling scared, and then follow that up with a plan of action, people trust you to lead them.

The same is true for awkwardness, in any setting.

Making an uncomfortable request? Start off by saying, “This feels a little awkward to ask…” — and then make the ask in a friendly, clear, direct way.

Unsure how to start? When I’m alone at a conference, I’ll often walk up to other attendees and say, “Hi, I’m wandering around awkwardly looking for people to talk to.” They instantly relate — and then I ask them questions to prompt real conversation.

There are endless ways to do this.

I know — if you’re feeling awkward, this is easier said than done. But remember what I said about awkwardness: It is an action word. You are awkward because you are bold.

Awkwardness is the antidote to awkwardness. So lead with it. Get it out of the way. Then be the competent, insightful, powerful person you are.

That’s how to do one thing better.

This bookkeeper saves me so much time!

A few years ago, I signed up for one of the major bookkeeping services. I hated it. So complex! Too many options!

Then I got introduced to Kick — and as soon as they walked me through the platform, I laughed out loud at how simple and easy it was.

True story: I begged them to NOT add more features! It’s so simple, it’s perfect. My books are done automatically and accurately in real-time, my account is optimized for tax savings, and when tax season rolls around, it’s 10x easier than before.

Are you a freelancer? Starting a business? Run multiple businesses? Whatever the case, try out Kick. It takes 5 minutes to set up your accountant, and you’ll be laughing out loud alongside me — knowing that you don’t need to go crazy over accounting anymore.

*sponsored

P.S. Miss last week’s newsletter? It was about how to make sure you’re on the right path. Read!

Let's Connect!

New to the newsletter? Subscribe for free and take control of your future.

💌 What do you think? Let me know!

📕 Order my book to future-proof your career!

🎧 Latest podcast: "Tall Poppy Syndrome: How To Navigate Your Coworkers’ Jealousy"

Welcome to One Thing Better. Each week, the editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine (that's me) shares one way to be happier and more effective at work — and build a career or company you love.

Today’s edition is sponsored by Kick, my favorite bookkeeping software (for real). See details at the end of the newsletter.

You chose the challenging path.

Maybe you started a business. Or pursued ambitious goals. You set the bar high, which meant that your life is often busy and complex — and sometimes you wonder: Did I do this wrong?

A reader named Vanessa recently asked me that. She works at a startup, which is exciting but exhausting. She wrote:

Here’s my answer: Don’t question your past. Instead, take what you need from it.

Think of it like this:

Vanessa’s choice is NOT: “My current path vs. a path I did not choose.”

That choice leaves you stuck. It’s like creating an original sin — a decision you cannot escape, that controls your future.

So instead…

Vanessa’s choice actually IS: “My current path vs. what this path sets me up for next.”

In other words, don’t think of your past as a mistake. Instead, ask what your past has provided you. What has it has taught you? What it has prepared you for? And how can you put that to amazing use next?

Today’s newsletter is for people looking for new paths, but also for people looking to grow in their current path. You don’t need to abandon what you’re doing in order to make a useful change. Either is good.

Now let’s find those answers.

How to use yesterday for tomorrow

The core idea here is simple: No time is wasted.

When we believe that we wasted our time, we discount the growth and transformation we experienced along the way. Are you in an industry that you no longer love? Are you doing something that drains your energy? Are you in a relationship that no longer fulfills you? That sucks. You should make a change. But that does not mean the time was wasted.

You learned something valuable and transferrable. Better yet, that gives you an advantage wherever you go next.

So let’s identify what that is. Ask yourself two questions:

Question 1: What am I really good at today, that I was bad at before?

I like this framing because it’s about progress.

Think back to the start of your journey. If you regret working in startups, what were you like before you joined your first startup? Now measure your distance traveled: What are you definitively better at today, as a result of that work?

Next, let’s ask…

Question 2: How can my skills be applied in powerful new ways?

You have skills. Maybe you worry that they’re only useful in your current role, or your current industry. But you’re wrong.

Your skills are transferrable — and in fact, the skills from one part of your life could make you even more valuable in another. They’ll give you a competitive advantage in industries where most people don’t have your skills, and allow you to stand out in unique ways.

In his upcoming book, my friend Jonathan Goodman calls this “1 + 1 = 10”. When you combine two unexpected skills, you become 10 times more valuable.

For example, let’s apply this to Vanessa. She surely learned all sorts of skills in startups — like a high tolerance for risk and an ability to pivot quickly. Those are amazing assets anywhere. She gets to choose her path, armed with hard-won advantages. (For more on how to choose that next path, read about a concept I call “the ticket.”)

In fact…

This is also what propelled my career!

Look, I’ll be candid: As editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine, people think I have a cool job. And they’re right! But it has caused me a lot of anxiety. I often questioned whether I made the right choice.

Here’s why:

I’ve spent my career in media, going from small-town newspaper reporter to national magazine editor. But as I rose, the industry shrank. Layoffs were everywhere. Salaries plummeted. For a long time, I wondered: Did I take the wrong path? Am I an expert in a dying field?

Then I realized something incredible. Let’s look at it through the lens of my two questions above.

Question 1: What am I really good at today, that I was bad at before?

The answer is this: By learning to edit magazines, I didn’t just “learn to edit magazines.” Instead, I’d become great at digesting complicated information, and then sharing it in simple and easy-to-follow ways.

Question 2: How can my skills be applied in powerful new ways?

I applied that skill to business — supporting founders, speaking to corporate teams, and creating products like this newsletter, where I stand out as a communicator. I became the guy who can simplify business, because I’m combining skills that most of my competitors don’t have.

In other words: My time in media was not wasted, even if I never work in media again. It was the preparation I needed for the next phase of my journey.

Ready to stop second-guessing yourself?

We do ourselves no favors by second-guessing past choices. We made the best decisions we could at the time. We acted on what we knew, or what we wanted, or what we were capable of. And we learned a lot as a result.

There was no right answer. You couldn’t have made a perfect decision, leading to a perfect life. In fact, every path might have led you to the same exact place.

Let’s think about Vanessa, who wondered if she should have chosen a more traditional path:

When she chose her startup path: Vanessa learned a lot, found some parts satisfying, found some parts unsatisfying, and then wondered aloud whether she’d made a mistake.

If Vanessa had chosen a more traditional path: She’d have learned a lot, found some parts satisfying, found some parts unsatisfying, and then wondered aloud whether she’d made a mistake.

All roads lead to now.

You’re further down that road than you think. So stop for a moment. Take inventory of what you have. And instead of looking backwards, go forward on the road you choose.

That’s how to do one thing better.

This bookkeeper saves me so much time!

A few years ago, I signed up for one of the major bookkeeping services. I hated it. So complex! Too many options!

Then I got introduced to Kick — and as soon as they walked me through the platform, I laughed out loud at how simple and easy it was.

True story: I begged them to NOT add more features! It’s so simple, it’s perfect. My books are done automatically and accurately in real-time, my account is optimized for tax savings, and when tax season rolls around, it’s 10x easier than before.

Are you a freelancer? Starting a business? Run multiple businesses? Whatever the case, try out Kick. It takes 5 minutes to set up your accountant, and you’ll be laughing out loud alongside me — knowing that you don’t need to go crazy over accounting anymore.

*sponsored

P.S. Miss last week’s newsletter? It was about how to attract more customers - by giving away your ideas. Read!

P.P.S. This hybrid work study is incredible. A company A/B tested their teams — letting some work from home, and making others come into the office daily. The result: Hybrid workers were more productive and stayed at the company longer. Read!

Let's Connect!

New to the newsletter? Subscribe for free and take control of your future.

💌 What do you think? Let me know!

📕 Order my book to future-proof your career!

🎧 Latest podcast: "Funny Business: Lessons From Chipotle’s Halloween Costumes, FTX’s co-CEO’s Prison Announcement on Linkedin and More!"

Welcome to One Thing Better. Each week, the editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine (that's me) shares one way to be happier and more effective at work — and build a career or company you love.

Today’s edition is sponsored by Kick, my favorite bookkeeping software (for real!). See details at the end of the newsletter.

Want to attract new business? Or just build valuable relationships?

Here’s one of the best ways: Give away your knowledge.

This may sound like a bad idea. Won’t people just steal your work and not pay you? Won’t they abuse your time?

In fact, the opposite is true: When you give away knowledge, you build trust and authority — and then people want you more!

Today, I’ll show you how this works, and how to use it to your advantage.

But to start, I’ll tell you about someone who did not do this — and how it led to the most awkward interview of my career.

The man who wouldn’t give

I interviewed Floyd Mayweather Jr. in 2009. He was the world’s greatest boxer then.

You might think this sounds fun. It was not. 

Image by rcelis from Pixabay

I worked at Men’s Health at the time, so I asked him what we asked all major athletes: “Could you share one of your workout routines?”

“I’m not telling you that!” Mayweather shot back. “If I share my workout, then my competitors can copy it. I don’t give away my secrets.”

I tried to get him to share something, anything. He wouldn’t. That was the end.

I left thinking: This insecure man doesn’t know what makes him great.

Because here’s the thing: Floyd Mayweather didn’t succeed because of his training. He succeeded because of his ability to put that training into action, which is hard and not easily repeatable.

Just because you train like Mayweather doesn’t mean you can fight like Mayweather — which means that Mayweather could have given it all away. He just chose not to.

How to give it all away

I was recently telling this story to Dan Norcia, who heads partnerships at a company called Pilothouse. He laughed — because he thinks the exact opposite of Mayweather.

Pilothouse helps brands improve their ecommerce, and they’re very good at it. They’ve driven more than $500 million in business for clients.

How? They’ll just tell you! They publish tons of instructional materials, like a newsletter and podcast. They’ll do social media livestreams, helping founders improve their websites. And they even appear regularly in my group for CPG founders, where they literally show our members how to increase their DTC sales, step by step.

“When we give away our knowledge,” Dan told me, “people are grateful, and they trust our thinking. Then they try to implement this stuff themselves and get overwhelmed, and that’s when they want to hire us.”

This is what Floyd Mayweather did not understand: Your knowledge might be valuable, but your ability to execute is everything. When you’re confident in your abilities, “knowledge” stops being the thing you protect — and it starts being tool you use to attract others.

How to put this into practice

Imagine giving someone a penny — and then it turns into a $100. That’s what it means to share knowledge. It is cheap for you to share (because it’s just stuff in your head), and incredibly valuable for them to receive (because it can transform their business or life). 

That makes it an incredible currency: You can give away your knowledge without much effort or sacrifice, and reap outsized rewards for it.

Here are three ways you can do that now:

1. Post on LinkedIn

Maybe this sounds predictable or perfunctory. But hear me out.

LinkedIn’s algorithm specifically values “knowledge and advice.” (I was the first person to report that.) I’ve seen this validated in my own work. Many years ago, my LinkedIn posts were either promotional or “inspirational” — but neither worked. Then I got specific and tactical, and the response was large.

I’m now nearing 200,000 followers. LinkedIn is my #1 source of newsletter subscribers. (Maybe you subscribed because of LinkedIn? Thank you!) And I regularly get DMs from people asking to work together.

Sharing knowledge on LinkedIn is simple: Think about the last time you gave advice to a peer. Did they find it useful? Turn that advice into a post. Try that once a week. You’re sending out a Bat Signal that says: “Here’s what I’m an expert on, and here’s why you should trust me. “

2. Take the call

Do people ask you for advice? Give it to them.

Seriously. What’s the harm? You lose a little time? You give away a few ideas? That’s a small price to pay for potentially enormous value.

About a year ago, for example, an acquaintance invited me to lunch. He had an interesting new project and wanted my thoughts. I had lots of them. He then asked if I’d talk with his team. Soon we were chatting regularly — for no money, and no specific expectations. Relationships were built. Fun was had. 

Now they’re paying me for monthly consulting.

Of course, this doesn’t happen all the time. Most meetings go nowhere... but some create lots of value. It’s why I’ve come to treat time the way a venture capitalist invests in startups: You put a little time into a lot of things — and while most of them flop, a few will produce life-changing ROI.

Importantly, that ROI does not have to be financial. I’m busy, like you are, so I can’t take every meeting or help everyone. So before I agree to a call or meeting, I always ask myself: “Do I see how this relationship could be additive?” And then I define additive. Maybe they help me think better. Maybe they add joy to my life. Or maybe they’re working on something that, one day, I’d like to work on too.

3. Proactively teach — or trade!

You know something that others don’t. So why not offer it?

Two examples spring to mind, both from friends who used to work in media...

TEACH: My friend Sam was once a reporter, and then got a job at a small law firm. Lawyers are notoriously bad writers, so Sam had an idea: He could host a writing workshop for his colleagues! He offered it to a few lawyers, they told a few more, and soon Sam was hosting monthly workshops — making him extra valuable.

TRADE: Annie used to work in media, and then started a cookie company. She needed some help with branding, but couldn’t afford an agency. So she approached one with an offer: “I could help you get more media attention for your work, and you could help me rebrand my cookies.” The agency agreed. Then they swapped knowledge!

Remember what makes you most valuable

Floyd Mayweather would never do any of this. Too bad. That guy knew things.

So please, don’t think like Mayweather.

A true champion should be able to give away their knowledge, and still beat anyone who copies it. Because victories aren’t built on knowledge alone. They’re built on execution — and that’s where you are unique.

Your knowledge is simply the evidence of your greatness. When you give it away, you only become greater.

That’s how to do one thing better.

This bookkeeper saves me so much time!

Bookkeeping used to drive me insane. Taxes took me forever. Then I got introduced to Kick — and as soon as they walked me through the platform, I laughed out loud at how simple and easy it was.

True story: Since moving over, I no longer have accounting or tax season stress. My books are done automatically and accurately in real-time, my account is optimized for tax savings, and when tax season rolls around, it’s 10x easier than before.

Are you a freelancer? Starting a business? Run multiple businesses? Whatever the case, try out Kick. It takes 5 minutes to set up your accountant, and you’ll be laughing out loud alongside me — knowing that you don’t need to go crazy over accounting anymore.

*sponsored

P.S. Miss last week’s newsletter? It was about how your brain is slowing you down - and how to fix it. Read!

P.P.S. My newsletter migration is still going! I’m moving my emails from Beehiiv to Kit. You shouldn’t notice any problems — but if you do, please let me know. Just hit reply.

Let's Connect!

New to the newsletter? Subscribe for free and take control of your future.

💌 What do you think? Let me know!

📕 Order my book to future-proof your career!

🎧 Latest podcast: "I Was Laid Off... How Can I Make Myself Feel Better?"

Welcome to One Thing Better. Each week, the editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine (that's me) shares one way to be happier and more effective at work — and build a career or company you love.

Today’s edition is sponsored by Upwork. Its new playbook can make your company more innovative. (More details at the end of the newsletter.)

Today’s one thing: Giving it your all.

That one thing, better: Giving it your best.

Made with ChatGPT

You’re working hard on something, but it isn’t working.

Maybe you hit a dead end on a project. Or fell behind on a deadline. Or you’re staring at a blank page, unable to create something brilliant.

Today, we’ll fix that problem. You’ll improve your performance. You’ll have a breakthrough idea. You’ll rock through your tasks.

All you need to do is this: Use less of your brain.

It’s a counterintuitive idea I stumbled upon myself, then discovered has deep roots in psychology.

I’ll explain how to do it — but first, I’ll show you how it helped me.

How I became a sharpshooter

Last year, I bought a basketball game and set it up in my basement. I said it was for my kids, but let’s be honest — it was for me.

I love this thing. It’s a great way to relax. And as I’ve played, I noticed an interesting pattern:

🏀 When I shoot in silence, I’m just so-so. My high score is maybe 50.

🏀🔥 When I play songs I love and sing along as I shoot, I become Steph Curry. My current high score is 121.

Why? I developed a theory: When I’m shooting in silence, I’m focuced on my shot. But when I’m listening to music, my brain is partially occupied and my body takes over — and that’s when I shoot better.

It’s like a formula — less brain, more instinct! 

I sketched it out:

I wondered: Is this a thing? So I started researching, and oh yeah — it sure is a thing!

The perfect balance of effort

In 1908, two psychologists developed what’s called The Yerkes–Dodson Law. It’s basically the Goldilocks theory of performance — and it looks like this:

Here’s what this means: If you’re too passive or too intense about something, you’ll perform it poorly. But when you get that stress just right, your performance spikes.

In 1990, psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi gave us a more casual way to describe this phenomenon: He called it flow — and he said that people are most creative, productive, and happy when they’ve achieved it.

He described flow as...

In other words: When you do something without thinking too hard about doing it, you do it better. Just like me shooting baskets in my basement.

That got my wondering: Can we apply this elsewhere? How else can we subtract our brains, and increase our instincts? 

Let’s start here:

When to dial back your brain

I’ve found three instances that work for me:

1. Walking and talking.

My day, like yours, is full of video calls. I don’t like this. It’s too much focus.

So I’ve started an experiment: Whenever it feels appropriate, I suggest that we go off video. “I’m going to take a walk while we talk,” I’ll say. “I’ve been stuck in front of the computer too long.”

At first, I worried that this would seem unprofessional. But people thank me. They don’t want to be on video either! And some have even joined me in walking.

When I walk, my brain is engaged by multiple things — and instinct can take over. Ideas flow more freely. I become more animated. The meetings are better.

I strongly suggest this. Or even better, invite people to take an actual IRL walk with you! Multiple business partnership of mine started this way.

2. Ideas on the fly.

People often ask me: Where do I get the ideas for this newsletter?

Here’s the answer: I do not get them by thinking of ideas for the newsletter.

Instead, my system is simple: Whenever I stumble upon an interesting idea — based on something I said in conversation, or heard from someone else, or just experienced in passing — I’ve trained myself to think: That could be a newsletter!

Then I write it down in my Reminders app. For example, here’s what I wrote a few weeks ago, which prompted the newsletter you’re reading now:

Then I start writing — and when I write, I just write. I see where the words take me, even if it means abandoning some of my original concepts. (As you’ll see, some of the stuff in my note never made it into this newsletter.)

It’s all part of a belief of mine: The best ideas are generated on the fly. 

This goes for collaborations too. When I’m in meetings, I’ll often say: “I’m just going to think aloud here …” and then I’ll work an idea out in monologue or conversation.

3. Don’t micromanage the moment. 

I give a lot of keynote talks. I’ve never written down or memorized one.

That’s not to say I wing it! I create an outline, rehearse, and refine. But I also structure my talks around familiar stories I love telling, and exercises that I’ve shared many times. That way, I intuitively know this stuff — so when I’m on stage, I’m acting on instinct. I sound fresh, and I can react to the audience in real time.

If you memorize something word-for-word, the opposite will happen: You’re anchored to your words. You’ll be stiff. And if you lose your place, you’ll never find it again.

I take a similar approach to interviews. I’ve interviewed A-listers like The Rock, Jimmy Fallon, and Michelle Pfeiffer, and I NEVER write out a list of questions — because if I did, I’d be stuck thinking about the next question instead of listening and responding. So here’s how I prep: I learn a lot about them, hypothesize a few directions the conversation could go in, and then let it flow.

The possibilities are endless!

As you read the examples above, you might have thought: “That won’t work for me.” All good! What works for me might not work for you. We have different instincts.

The point here isn’t to be prescriptive. It’s to focus less and feel more. 

You’re at your best when you’re you, not when you’re trying to be you. So let go a little. Trust yourself. You’ve got this. Sing as you shoot.

That’s how to do one thing better.

One number shows why many companies will fail next year:

Yes, the scary number is 26.

Here’s where it comes from.

Upwork surveyed 1,500 companies, and asked what their top priority is for 2025. Most said they’re maintaining current operations, finding efficiencies, or other forms of staying the course — and only 26% said they’re focused on innovation, creativity and risk-taking.

It’s understandable — in uncertain times, our instinct is to bunker down. But look to history: During the ’08/’09 recession, the companies that kept innovating came out ahead of those that hunkered down.

Why? Because when disruption is over, innovators are fully modernized — while the others are behind the times.

So ask yourself: “When times are tough, how do I reinvent instead of retreat?”

Not sure where to start? Check out Upwork’s Work Innovators Report, which offers a playbook to keep your company innovative. 

*sponsored

P.S. Miss last week’s newsletter? It was about how to instantly build trust in any conversation. Read!

P.P.S. Need help finding your niche? It’s critical for anyone serving an audience — and harder than it sounds. I’m running a workshop on it this Wednesday in my OTB community. Join here, and then get login details here.

P.P.P.S. My newsletter migration has begun! I’m officially starting to move my emails from Beehiiv to Kit. You shouldn’t notice any problems — but if you do, please let me know. Just hit reply.

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🎧 Latest podcast: “Funny Business: Lessons From Bizarre Business News”

Welcome to One Thing Better. Each week, the editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine (that's me) shares one way to be happier and more effective at work — and build a career or company you love.

Today’s one thing: Talking.

That one thing, better: Getting past the small talk.

Made with ChatGPT

When you talk with someone, you should have four goals:

• Earn their trust.

• Show that you’re listening.

• Show that you understand them.

• Remember what they said.

Now here’s the fun part: You can advance all that with one simple strategy.

It’s a formula that I learned as a reporter, and now use throughout my life. It deepens personal conversations and advances professional ones.

The formula is this: Their thoughts + 1.

Today, I’ll explain what this means and why it works.

First, let’s talk about their thoughts.

Consider what happens at a restaurant: A server takes your order, then repeats it back to you.

Why? Two reasons:

1. They’re confirming the order.

2. They’re performing for your benefit — because when they get the order right, you’ll trust them more.

Now apply this logic to regular conversations: When someone hears their ideas or thoughts repeated back to them, they feel heard and appreciated.

So when someone tells you something complex or interesting, you can reply with a version of…

• “That’s so interesting. Let me repeat it back to you, to make sure I understand…”

• “Wow, so what you’re saying is…”

• “Let me make sure I get that. So in other words…”

Then restate their ideas or insights back to them.

I know this sounds simple. But it is magical. People feel heard and validated. Even better, this also helps us engage with the things they said — thereby making their ideas clearer and easier to remember.

Here’s an example: People often book consulting time with me. I might have 30 minutes to understand someone’s business and share helpful insights.

They’ll begin by telling me a lot of info. I’ll then say: “Let me repeat that back to you, to make sure I got it.” Then I do, but in my own words, using my own reference points. They love this — because once they see that I understand their business, they’re more likely to trust whatever I say next.

But this is just the start. When you repeat people’s thoughts, you build trust — but when you add your own insights on top of that, you build connection.

That’s why it’s time for the second part of the formula…

Now we add the +1:

What do I mean by plus-one?

I mean this: You repeat their thoughts, and then add a fresh insight. Maybe it’s a surprising observation or a delightful comparison. Maybe it’s just a question they’d never heard before. Take a little risk. Be a little bold.

Typically, I like doing this in one of two ways:

Approach 1: “In other words, what you really did is…"

In this approach, I restate what someone did or accomplished — even if they might not have seen it that way.

For example, a few months ago, I had lunch with the CEO of a famous brand. She told me her backstory — starting at the company when it was small, taking over from a male founder, and facing immense employee distrust. Over time, she transformed the brand and hired hundreds of new people who saw her as the leader.

“So in other words,” I said to her, “what you really did is take over a small company where nobody trusted you as the leader. And instead of trying to fit in there, you just created a completely different, much larger company, where everyone did trust you as the leader.”

Her eyes widened. “Yes!” she exclaimed. “I’ve never thought about it like that, but yes! That’s exactly what I did.” And from there, her guard was down and we became friends.

Approach #2: “That reminds me of…”

A few weeks ago, I interviewed my friend Jon Taffer. He’s the host of a TV show called Bar Rescue, where he tries to save failing bars and restaurants — often by screaming at the owners until they make drastic change.

Taffer told me the surprising history of all that screaming. In real life, Taffer isn’t a screamer at all. Then he started filming the show — and because each episode is filmed in only four days, he has limited time to fix a failing bar. The owners are often hesitant to change, and he tried everything he could to motivate them. Screaming worked — even though, Taffer admitted, “it was horrifying and scary” to do it.

When I heard this, I told him about something I recently learned from John Mackey, the cofounder and longtime CEO of Whole Foods. Mackey attributed his success to this habit: Throughout his career, he’d always ask, “What does the company most need me to do now?” — and then he’d do whatever it was, even if it was uncomfortable.

“You did the same thing,” I told Taffer. “You asked yourself, ‘What does this situation need from me?’ And the answer is what you became.” (In this case, he became a screaming TV show host!)

Jon was floored. “In 13 years of interviews,” he told me, “that might be the most insightful statement that’s ever been said to me. Nobody’s ever said anything like that.”

In both of these cases: I did nothing special — either with Taffer, or the CEO of that famous company. I just repeated their own stories back to them, but added a little something extra. For the CEO, it was a narrative flourish. For Taffer, it was an interesting comparison.

But in both cases, I helped them see their story in a new way — and they were grateful for it. That’s the power of their thoughts +1.

And that’s how to do one thing better.

Now repeat it back to me. 😀

One number shows why many companies will fail next year:

Yes, the scary number is 26.

Here’s where it comes from.

Upwork surveyed 1,500 companies, and asked what their top priority is for 2025. Most said they’re maintaining current operations, finding efficiencies, or other forms of staying the course — and only 26% said they’re focused on innovation, creativity and risk-taking.

It’s understandable — in uncertain times, our instinct is to bunker down. But look to history: During the ’08/’09 recession, the companies that kept innovating came out ahead of those that hunkered down.

Why? Because when disruption is over, innovators are fully modernized — while the others are behind the times.

So ask yourself: “When times are tough, how do I reinvent instead of retreat?”

Not sure where to start? Check out Upwork’s Work Innovators Report, which offers a playbook to keep your company innovative. 

*sponsored

P.S. Did you watch Nobody Wants This? I didn’t, but my wife tells me that “repeating what people say” is a punchline in some part of the show. So, yes, if you were thinking that while reading today’s newsletter, then get in touch with her, because she has a lot to say about this show and I’m no help lol.

P.P.S. Wednesday is Voice Memo Day! It’s when members of my OTB community can send me a voice memo question, and I’ll reply to everyone. It’s a great way to get questions answered, hear what others are up to, and benefit from lots of knowledge sharing! Want to get in on it? Just join here — and then you’ll be able to access details here.

P.P.S. Miss last week’s newsletter? It was about the secret to living without regrets. Read!

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New to the newsletter? Subscribe for free and take control of your future.

💌 What do you think? Let me know!

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🎧 Latest podcast: “How to Recover When You Panic At Work... or In Public!”

Welcome to One Thing Better. Each week, the editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine (that's me) shares one way to be happier and more effective at work — and build a career or company you love.

Today’s one thing: Letting your anxiety call the shots.

That one thing, better: Letting your regret call the shots.

You’re not taking the risks you should.

Sure, you’re an open-minded person, but your comfort zone can also be a trap. It’s too easy to stick with what you know. Why make yourself uncomfortable?

As a result, you miss out on a lot. Or at least, you feel like you miss out on a lot.

Today, I am not going to scream YOLO and FOMO at you. That’s unhelpful.

Instead, I’ll give you the trick that I’ve used to propel myself into the unknown:

I ask my Future Self.

It sounds weird. But it’s easy, helpful, and it drives results. And to understand why it works, you first need to know about my past self…

When new things are scary

I spent most of my 20s living with my college girlfriend, working as a small-town newspaper reporter in Massachusetts. It was fine, but it was also repetitive — same people, same activities, same experiences.

In 2008, at the age of 28, everything changed: My girlfriend and I broke up, I got a job at Men’s Health, and I moved to New York.

Who is this kid?

I arrived full of dreams and ambitions, eager to do the things I hadn’t. But… eek, that was scary! I didn’t know many people. Going out often meant going out alone.

I met some people like me. They spent a lot of time at home, watching TV. That seemed easy and tempting — to just retreat to a quiet life, firmly inside a comfort zone.

Then I had a revelation that changed everything:

I imagined my Future Self

I pictured myself in a future stage of life — married, with kids, full of responsibilities and limitations.

Then I imagined that guy looking back on his 20s, when life was simple and unrestrained. He could think one of two things:

Regret: “Why didn’t I do more in my 20s, when I still could?”

Satisfaction: “I’m so glad I did all of that.”

That helped me realize something: You don’t actually live just for today. Your decisions contribute to a whole life — fulfilling the dreams of the person you were, challenging and growing the person you are, and nourishing the person you’ll become. Tomorrow’s regrets are erased today.

So back then, I made a decision: I will do something every night. Sometimes it’ll be an adventure. Sometimes, just meeting someone for dinner. But I will not go home until an experience is had, Monday to Sunday.

This isn’t right for everyone, but it was right for me. I did amazing things. Dumb things. Weird things! I kept it up while dating, then after getting married (when my wife would often join me). And I kept going until we had kids at the age of 35.

Now I’m 44. I am the guy I imagined back at age 28, with more responsibilities and less free time. And I am deeply grateful for that younger version of me, who anticipated my life — no, our combined life! — and gave me the gift of experience.

Today, when I’m deciding whether to do something, I still ask myself: Would my Future Self regret missing this experience? It’s helped me join big projects, take big risks with my career, and go places I might not have otherwise gone.

Try it yourself. Here’s why I think it’s so powerful:

The “comfort zone” is a myth

People talk a lot about the “comfort zone”, but that’s not a helpful framing. It sets experiences up as binary: There’s comfort, or there’s discomfort.

Life doesn’t work like that. Experiences are more of a gradient. Here’s a better way to think of it — I’ll draw a chart with three zones:

Your comfort zone is where you start. 

Your curiosity zone is where you’d go, if only you had the courage or energy. It might be great or terrible, but you’d be satisfied just knowing what happens.

Your hard pass zone is what you are genuinely not interested in.

These will be different for everyone, and that’s fine! I can’t say what belongs in your zones. But you can.

You know what you’re deep-down curious about. Out of fear, you might try to dismiss those things. You might say, “Oh, that’s silly and not worth trying.”

But today’s curiosity can become tomorrow’s longing. When you imagine your future self’s satisfactions or regrets, you get a fresh perspective. You see how important a decision really is. Is it worth passing on? Or is it worth following your curiosity?

Be kind to your Future Self

Stop for a moment and remember yourself 10 years ago. What did you not do, that you now regret? What did you avoid because of fear or nervousness?

Don’t you wish you could go back and do it? 

You can’t. 

But now imagine yourself 10 years into the future. Imagine the regret you’d have about not doing something today. Now realize: You actually can “go back and do it.” Because the opportunity still exists. It’s in front of you. Right now.

Use the time you have.

That’s how to do one thing better.

Want to survey consumers, but don’t have the budget?

This will blow your mind. It blew mine.

Imagine you want to survey millennial coffee lovers. You can ask AI to think like 100 millennial coffee lovers, ask it a bunch of questions, and get back answers that are very similar to how actual people think.

It happens instantly, at a fraction of the cost of interviewing real people. It’s perfect for any founder or product developer who does consumer research, or frankly anyone who wishes they could poll people regularly.

The tool is called Crowdwave, and I use it myself all the time. (I’m also on the advisory board.) Every week, before I send out One Thing Better, I use Crowdwave to test a large number of headline and subject line ideas. You see the winners in this newsletter. My open rate has increased since I’ve been doing this.

Want to test it out? Sign up now for early access. You’ll get a live 1:1 demo (tell them I sent you!), and get to test this out before it goes public this fall.

P.S. Here’s how to grow amidst change: On Wednesday at 1:30 ET, I’m hosting a LinkedIn Live conversation about some fascinating research — revealing how the most innovative companies stay ahead, and how you can too. It’s free. Join us!

P.P.S. Music I’m obsessed with. Apropos of absolutely nothing, but I’ve recently rediscovered (or just plain discovered) some music I’m loving and want to share. First, Soul Coughing just reunited after 25 years, I saw their Brooklyn show, it was amazing, and it rekindled my love of their distinctively weird sound. Also, I’ve long loved The Fratellis and just discovered that their singer Jon Fratelli had a solo project, and it’s amazing. (Favorite song: Santo Domingo.) And finally: My favorite band since childhood is Green Day, and yet I somehow just discovered this Billie Joe side project, The Longshot, and every song is an earworm. Turn Me Loose, especially. If you’re really digging some music these days, let me know — I’m always looking for new tunes!

P.P.S. Miss last week’s newsletter? It was about how to turn your doubters into believers. Read!

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💌 What do you think? Let me know!

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🎧 Latest podcast: “When Not To Be Professional”

Welcome to One Thing Better. Each week, the editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine (that's me) shares one way to be happier and more effective at work — and build a career or company you love.

Today I’m re-sharing one of the most popular editions from last year…

Today’s one thing: Being what someone expects.

That one thing, better: Undercutting what someone expects.

Made with ChatGPT

Someone expects the worst of you.

They have a stereotype based on your work. If you’re young and entry-level, they might think you’re entitled and lazy. If you’re the boss, they might think you’re self-important and intimidating.

If you’re in sales, they might think you’re fake and pushy. If you’re a creative, they might think you’re impractical. If you’re the editor in chief of a national magazine, they might think you’re arrogant. (Uhh, that last one is personal. More on it later.)

Either way, this sucks. Stereotypes prevent us from interacting as humans, and from seeing — and gaining! — the value we have for each other.

But they can also be used to your advantage — because if you know the negative thing that people expect of you, then you can surprise them by doing the opposite.

And when you do that, you have full control.

Today, I’ll show you how — and I’ll start with a celebrity and a hostage negotiator who challenged my worst expectations of them…

A tale of two Chips.

A few years ago, I set up an interview with home-renovation star Chip Gaines. He and his wife Joanna rose to fame with their show Fixer Upper, and have since spun out many other companies and projects.

Chip was running late to the interview, which I’ve come to expect with celebrities. An NBA star once made me wait by the phone for five hours. A musician was once days late to an interview.

Chip arrived only 11 minutes late. He said hello and then — totally unprompted! — he told me this:

Nobody has ever said anything like that to me. Ever. And I mean, he was only 11 minutes late — which is technically early by celebrity time! That’s when I knew Chip was special, and understood why millions of people love him.

We ended up talking for double the time we’d planned, and stayed in touch after. He is a true gem.

It got me thinking about another, less-famous Chip I’d interviewed — a former FBI hostage negotiator named Chip Massey.

When we got on the phone, I was instantly struck by Chip Massey’s warmth. I expected an FBI guy to be gruff and straight-talking, but Chip was friendly and jokey.

So I told him, “You don’t sound like an FBI guy!” And he said:

I liked him instantly. We also stayed in touch.

Consider these stories.

Two Chips. Both aware of the expectations that follow them. Both actively doing the opposite.

Celebrities can be self-important. Chip Gaines knows that, and levels the field immediately.

FBI agents can be tough and cold. Chip Massey knows that, and warms the room immediately.

By being aware of expectations and then undercutting them, both Chips draw people closer to them. They make people think: Wait, are my assumptions wrong? I need to learn more.

When you make someone think that, you are in control. You have their full attention. You can shape what happens next.

So…

How to undercut their expectations.

Maybe you’re not a celebrity or an FBI negotiator. Doesn’t matter.

Like I said above, your work will fall under some kind of stereotype — that you’re lazy, attention-seeking, entitled, overly ambitious, self-important, hard to please, self-serious, whatever.

I bet you know how this applies to you. Now let’s undercut it.

Here’s how: Find your “positive opposite”.

This is an idea I first encountered in a very different context: parenting.

Years ago, my wife and I signed up for a kind of parenting therapy called PCIT, or Parent-Child Interaction Therapy. Our son was having serious tantrums, and a friend suggested this as a solution.

It’s a weird experience. You learn a hyper-specific procedure for how to play with your kid. One part is called “praising the positive opposite.” Basically, you look for opportunities to praise your kid for doing the right thing — instead of catching them doing the wrong thing.

If your kid is destructive, then praise them whenever they’re gentle. “I love how careful you’re being,” you might say. If your kid has trouble listening, then praise them whenever they follow instructions. “You’re a terrific listener,” you might say.

After months of this with my son, I realized that adults can do it too — with themselves!

If you know the negative thing people think of you — and especially if, deep down, maybe there’s some truth to it — then it’s helpful to think: What’s the positive opposite of this?

If you’re in sales, what’s the positive opposite of being in sales mode? It’s to focus on human connection, not transaction.

If you’re the boss, what’s the positive opposite of being intimidating? It’s to become more nurturing and mentoring.

Once you’re thinking about this, you can start to lead with it — to make the positive opposite the very first thing people experience about you.

And when you do that, you’ll undercut people’s negative expectations.

That’s what the two Chips did. And that’s when the real relationship can begin.

How this impacts me (and you)

Last week, I got coffee with an accomplished entrepreneur. “You’re not what I expect from an editor in chief,” she told me. “There’s a template for an editor in chief — snooty, arrogant, only friends with CEOs.”

There it is — the expectation.

I hear it a lot. I’ve heard it for years. I’ve come to expect it. So I consciously subvert it.

My style of writing, my presence on social media, my way of engaging with people — this is not an accident. It’s intentional. I want to distance myself from people’s expectations by being accessible, honest, vulnerable, and supportive.

It works incredibly well. I’ve made many friends this way. I’ve gotten work this way.

Maybe this sounds like I’m being fake, or that I’m suggesting you be fake.

I am not. I’m being intentional, and I’m suggesting that you be intentional too. There’s a difference.

You and I have bad days, or hard moments, or raw instincts. We both draw from a large human palate of emotions and actions — and if we’re not careful, that stuff can spill out of us indiscriminately.

But we have a choice — to be careless about how we act towards others, or to be intentional.

When we’re aware of the worst that people might expect from us, we create a guide for how to surprise them. Then delight them. Then draw them closer to us and build real bonds.

The more you make this choice, the more consistent you become. The more it feels natural. The more it stops feeling like a choice at all.

That’s how to do one thing better.

Like my new website? (And some OTB news…)

My personal website just got a major refresh — I’d love your thoughts! I spent a lot of time thinking about how to communicate my value, which is not easy.

The site was built on Rockbase, an easy-to-use Wordpress theme for creative professionals. If you’re looking for an incredible website on a budget, you must check it out. Simple, easy, and built for folks like you.

(And if you want a more custom job, you can work directly with the founders at 8px.studio. They are the best.)

This is the start of three big changes at One Thing Better:

1. Migration. This newsletter is migrating from Beehiiv to ConvertKit. I’ll share more when it happens (which is soon), but it should be so seamless that you don’t notice.
   

2. Archives. I’m rebuilding my archives at jasonfeifer.com/newsletter, which is where old editions will eventually all live.
   

3. Design. If you look at my new newsletter page now, you’ll see a new logo design for One Thing Better. That’ll be fully rolled out soon. We’re upgrading the flying car!

Thanks so much for your support of One Thing Better. Here’s to making it ever better!

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New to the newsletter? Subscribe for free and take control of your future.

💌 What do you think? Let me know!

📕 Order my book to future-proof your career!

🎧 Latest podcast: “Asking for More Money Stresses Me Out. Help!”

Welcome to One Thing Better. Each week, the editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine (that's me) shares one way to feel more successful and satisfied — and build a career or company you love.

If this email is useful to you, please share it with others!

Today’s one thing: Saying no to new things.

That one thing, better: Saying yes to existing things.

Made with ChatGPT

You hate saying no to new opportunities.

You want to say yes! You want the extra money, responsibility, accomplishments, or accolades — and you’re worried that, if you say no, opportunities like this won’t come again.

As a result, you’re stretched thin and feeling crazy.

Which begs the question: When should you say no?

Today, I’ll give you an answer.

It’s a simple framework that I learned from Brian Lee, the cofounder of LegalZoom. And he learned it by accidentally almost killing the company.

Now you can benefit from his mistake. Here’s how.

The day LegalZoom almost died

Brian Lee, LegalZoom cofounder

LegalZoom helps consumers create legal documents, and it was almost instantly profitable. 

In the company’s early days, LegalZoom’s founders noticed something weird: The same customer repeatedly created divorce documents. Who gets that many divorces!? So Brian looked into it. Turns out, a divorce attorney was using LegalZoom to make documents for his clients.

That felt like a revelation, Brian told me recently — because LegalZoom was built for consumers. His team had no idea that lawyers would use it too.

“We were like, ‘Oh my goodness. We're not just direct-to-consumer — we could be a B2B business too!” Brian said.

LegalZoom’s founders spun up a new service called ProxyLaw, which was made for lawyers. They were excited. But here was the result: “LegalZoom went from profitable to unprofitable, ProxyLaw never took off, and we were days away from bankruptcy,” Brian told me.

What happened? There were two problems:

1. LegalZoom assigned its best designers, engineers and marketers to ProxyLaw.
   

2. ProxyLaw was a hard sell, because it required a different sales strategy that their team wasn’t built for.

In short: LegalZoom had drawn resources away from the thing that worked, and put them on something that didn’t work. That nearly killed LegalZoom — and the only way to save it was to kill ProxyLaw. So that’s what they did. LegalZoom went on to be worth billions, and Brian would later cofound ShoeDazzle, Honest Company, and now Arena Club.

I asked Brian what he learned from this near-disaster, and he said it’s simple: “A lot of your responsibility is saying no.”

You are a professional noper

Your job isn’t just to say yes. Your job is also to say no. It doesn’t matter if you’re leading yourself, a team, a startup, or a massive company. You contribute by creating focus, and you create focus by eliminating distractions.

Brian explained it this way:

That’s great advice — especially the first sentence: “Every day, you’re seeing more opportunities.”

If you jump at every new opportunity, it’s as if you’re thinking: “I might not get another one like this.” That’s a scarcity mindset, and it’ll lead you to hoard the wrong things.

Instead, Brian says, operate from an abundance mindset: You must believe that more opportunities will come. That allows you to make better decisions.

Here’s how I used Brian’s advice

After talking to Brian, I realized that all opportunities could be broken down into one of two categories:

Every opportunity is either a LegalZoom, or it’s a ProxyLaw.

Which is to say: Everything is either a growth opportunity, or it’s a harmful distraction. Your job is to know which is which. 

By total coincidence, on the same week I talked to Brian, a friend reached out to me with a business idea. My friend is smart and accomplished, and his idea was appealing. We could have had fun and made a lot of money together.

But then I applied Brian’s lesson to this idea.

First, I thought about what I already do. It’s a lot of things — Entrepreneur magazine, my podcast, this newsletter, speaking, a CPG coaching company, and more. How do I balance it all? Largely, it’s because they all build off my same core competencies as a communicator. I work quickly and confidently. That is my LegalZoom.

But my friend’s opportunity required more of me. I would have needed to learn new skills, understand a new audience, and build in ways I haven’t before. I’m sure I could have done it, but it would have drawn energy away from my existing work — and that made it a ProxyLaw.

Once I broke it down that way, the answer became easy. By declining my friend, I wasn’t saying no to new opportunity. I was saying yes to the opportunities I already have.

So, what’s your LegalZoom and ProxyLaw?

There’s a good reason everyone struggles with this problem: It’s really hard.

Truly, I struggle with it daily. My greatest frustration in life is that there’s just one of me. I have so much more I want to do, to see, to experience. It is cruel to have just one life, just 24 hours in a day, just one little timeline in which to fit only some of our interests, and pursue only some of the paths, and enjoy only some of the benefits. I want more. I want more than more. I want infinity.

But this is what it is. So we have a choice: We can do some things great, or we can do many things poorly.

Hard as that sounds, the answer should be clear.

That’s how to do one thing better.

P.S. Is your team suffering from too much “Yes”? As I wrote today’s newsletter, I kept thinking about a conversation I had last week with Mary Beth Westmoreland, who leads Amazon's global selling partner experience team. She told me that, when her team takes on a new project, they often eliminate an old project at the same time.

“We ask our teams: What's the most important thing that we need to spend time on, to make the biggest impact?” she told me. “Sometimes that means we're going to stop doing things that are not making the most difference.”

I love that leadership decision: When you treat new things as a tradeoff — adding one thing means removing another — you both respect your team’s time, and also force yourself to add things judiciously. With this approach, leaders can’t just dump ideas on their team. They must think carefully about what’s worth the trade. That’s good for everyone!

P.P.S. I can help you tell your story. You can book a 1:1 call with me, where I’ll help you refine your brand story, build your personal brand, develop content ideas, or anything else you need. Last week, a newsletter reader booked me to talk through his sales pitch — it just wasn’t landing with his clients. After 30 minutes, he had a totally new approach!

P.P.P.S. Miss last week’s newsletter? It was about my two simplest strategies to stop obsessing over mistakes. Read!

Let's Connect!

New to the newsletter? Subscribe for free and take control of your future.

💌 What do you think? Let me know!

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🎧 Latest podcast: "The Best (and Worst!) Way To Ask For an Intro”

Welcome to One Thing Better. Each week, the editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine (that's me) shares one way to feel more successful and satisfied — and build a career or company you love.

If this email is useful to you, please share it with others!

Today’s one thing: Trying to get over it.

That one thing, better: Seeing it for what it is.

Made with ChatGPT

You want to be great all the time. But you’re not.

Some days you aren’t as smart, funny, or exceptional as you’d like to be. Your ideas seemed mediocre. Your efforts were a little meh. You know it’s not a big deal, but you beat yourself up over it anyway.

A few weeks ago, I had one of these days. I wrote about how I bombed on stage. Many of you sent me wonderful responses (thank you!), and shared your own struggles with imperfection.

I loved this admission from an amateur DJ. They wrote:

I've been there. We all have. It’s frustrating: We didn't fail, per se. There was no disaster. But we didn't live up to our high standards and now we can't let it go.

Today’s newsletter is for people like that.

I have two mental tricks to help you move on: I call them Thinking Downward, and the Grading Curve. They’ve helped me bounce back from my imperfect moments — and I think they can help you too.

Tactic #1: Thinking downward

Let’s say you’re that DJ. You fail to do things perfectly. Then you go home and obsess over it, imagining all the better decisions you could have made.

You’re doing something called counterfactual thinking. In other words, you’re creating alternate realities in your head, and then wishing those alternate realities were true.

I wanted to know: How do you snap yourself out of that? So I called an expert who studies this stuff — a social psychologist at Wake Forest named John Petrocelli. Here was his advice: 

“This is going to sound a little funny, but the trick is to consider additional alternatives — to consider other counterfactuals.” 

Because here’s the thing: There are actually two kinds of counterfactuals. The first is called upward counterfactuals, when we imagine how things could have been better. That’s our usual mode.

But there are also downward counterfactuals. That’s when we imagine how things could have gone worse.

Here’s an amazing study, which shows the impact of these two modes of thinking: 

Scientists have studied Olympic medalists, to see how happy or upset they are when receiving their medals. The answer: Silver medalists are the least happy. 

Why? Because the dynamic looks like this:

In other words: The silver medalist is thinking upward, about how they could have gotten gold. The bronze medalist is thinking downward, about how they might not have medaled at all. One feels deficient. The other feels fortunate.

That’s why John Petrocelli gives his advice: We can’t easily turn off counterfactual thinking, so you might as well fight it with more counterfactual thinking. If you’re stuck imagining all the ways things could have gone better, start imagining the ways it could have gone worse. Because that was an option too. You could have flopped.

Now here’s my second mental trick...

Tactic #2: The grading curve 

Whenever you do something, you’re really experiencing two things at once: You know what you aspire to do, and then you see what you actually do.

Unfortunately, we don’t always do what you aspire to do. That’s what kills us.

So remember this: Your audience didn’t see both those things. Your aspirations are invisible to them. All they saw is what you actually did — which means they’re not comparing it against anything.

They don’t know the joke you forgot to tell, or that great point you didn’t make. They don’t know the perfect transition you missed in that DJ set. Hell, they might not even know what a perfect transition is.

Remember the “grading curve” from school, when teachers would bump student scores up? That’s kinda what’s happening here, and it looks like this:

Your B+ is someone else’s A+.

Your B is someone else’s A.

 Your C is someone else’s B.

When you’re feeling down, it’s helpful to see things through other people’s eyes. Pause to ask yourself: “What did other people actually see or hear?”

List it out, if you must.

For example, I recently went on a morning TV show and delivered a meh performance. On my way home, I kept obsessing over the missed opportunities. My delivery could have been sharper. My on-air banter could have been funnier. And did I ramble on that second question?

I texted the show’s host, asking if I did OK. Her reply was kind: “You’re better than you think you are,” she said.

That helped me step back and imagine what people actually saw. I made a list in my head.

1. They saw a guy being friendly and warm

2. They saw a guy who made some good points

3. They saw a guy who looked calm and confident

Meanwhile, here’s what they did not see…

1. They did not see the things I meant to say, but didn’t

2. They did not see the other way I could have answered that question

3. They did not see a guy nervously obsessing on the way home

Was it the best TV segment they’ve ever seen? No, but nobody expected that. And nobody was promised that! My definition of success was too big for the moment. 

It’s time to be OK with being OK

We have amazing days. We have terrible days. But most of our days are somewhere in the middle. They’re just fine. We passed the test. We did the thing. We made it.

Let’s give ourselves credit for that. The middle is its own kind of success.

The middle means we didn’t destroy everything. The middle means we showed up and learned. The middle means we get another shot tomorrow. And don’t forget — other people might not even think we were in the middle! They might think we were great! Or more likely, they might not be thinking about us at all.

Imagine that DJ at the turntables. Now look 20 feet away. Find a couple dancing to the music. They’re having a great time. They’re going to go home tonight and feel good, and they’re going to think that DJ did an A+ job, and they’ll never know or care what that DJ didn’t do, because all they care about is what the DJ did do.

Greatness is more achievable than you think.

That’s how to do one thing better.

P.S. Are you a CPG founder? I have a new program to help you called CPG Fast Track. We bring together small cohorts of founders whose brands have great growth potential, and give them coaching and resources from seasoned experts. The goal is simple: Accelerate your growth! If that sounds interesting, learn more here or drop me a line. We sold out our first cohort, and our second is almost full — but there’s still time to join!

P.P.S. Want to hear my book for free? Did you know it’s included as part of Spotify Premium? Listen here. (Also available on Audible, or other formats.)

P.P.P.S. Miss last week’s newsletter? It was my greatest writing trick. Read!

Let's Connect!

New to the newsletter? Subscribe for free and take control of your future.

💌 What do you think? Let me know!

📕 Order my book to future-proof your career!

🎧 Latest podcast: "Can I Be a Great Parent AND a Great Entrepreneur? Help!"

Welcome to One Thing Better. Each week, the editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine (that's me) shares one way to level up — and build a career or company you love.

I just wrapped up a long stretch of travel, so had no time to write last week. Here’s one of my favorite editions from last year.

Today’s one thing: Telling a story.

That one thing, better: Reaching your audience.

Made with ChatGPT

You’re trying to communicate something. But it’s not connecting.

Maybe you’re writing. Or speaking. Or sharing information. Maybe you’re trying to reach the masses, or a small group, or just an audience of one.

Either way, I have a solution:

I call it “bricks and mortar” — and it is the single most important insight I’ve had as a communicator.

This will help you connect with an audience. It’ll help you keep them engaged, and to be more memorable and meaningful to them.

Today, I’m giving it to you.

But first, to appreciate why it works, you must understand why reaching people is so hard — and how to overcome it.

The first question anyone asks.

Imagine a salesperson shows you a product. What do you do?

Likely, you’ll ask yourself a version of this question:

“Is this for me… or not for me?”

A sales coach once told me this. He instructs salespeople to anticipate this question, and to answer it with the first words they say. The salesperson must show that, yes, whatever they’re selling is for you.

This insight stuck with me, because I realized it isn’t just about sales. It’s a tactic for everything.

When you open every edition of my newsletter, you ask: “Is this for me… or not for me?”

When you browse the supermarket aisles, you look at products and think: “Is this for me… or not for me?”

When you start a new TV show, you wonder: “Is this for me… or not for me?”

Let’s call this our First Question. People are always asking it.

Which means that, as communicators, we must always answer it.

But that’s not all, because...

We must answer it repeatedly.

Imagine your friend calls you up and says, “You have to hear this story!”

The First Question is easily answered. Your friend has a story you’ll love! Of course it’s for you!

But then your friend launches into a long, rambling, completely unsatisfying story. (We all have friends like this, right?) At some point, you start to wonder: Is this going anywhere? What’s the point of this?

In other words, it’s not enough to just answer the First Question once. If you want to hold someone’s attention and connect with them, you must answer it repeatedly.

Really internalize that. The more you think about your audience, the more you should develop a kind of healthy anxiety about them. Every time you speak or write, you’ll start to wonder, “Is my audience still with me? Do they see why this is valuable to them?”

Now it’s time for “bricks and mortar”

“Bricks and mortar” is my way of connecting with audiences. It’s my way of repeatedly saying, “Yes, this is for you.”

It’s a visual metaphor that goes like this:

The bricks are facts. They’re the story you tell, or the details you share about yourself. They are literally the thing you’re writing or talking about.

The mortar is context. This is you addressing your audience, either directly or indirectly, to make the bricks as relevant to them as possible.

The best stories, and the most powerful communications, aren’t just about bricks. They’re not just a matter of this happened, then this happened, then this happened…

What matters is how you assemble those bricks.

The mortar holds everything together. It’s what makes a brick useful — assembling all these facts into a structure specifically designed for your audience.

I’ll give you an example.

I once profiled Jimmy Fallon for Entrepreneur magazine. On its face, this makes no sense: Jimmy is an entertainer, so what does he have to offer entrepreneurs!?

It was my job to figure that out — which meant learning a lot from Jimmy, and then sharing it in a relevant and helpful way for entrepreneurs.

To see what I did, let’s zoom in on one little section of the story I wrote. Jimmy and I were talking about his early career. He’d quit Saturday Night Live to pursue movies, but he wasn’t very good at it. Even worse, he didn’t seem to have a passion for it.

During our interview, I asked Jimmy why he pursued that goal at all. His answer was interesting. Here’s how I wrote it:

Did you catch what I did there?

This was bricks and mortar — combining the facts of my conversation (bricks), with context specific to my audience (mortar).

Here, let’s look at it again:

In other words, here’s what I was doing:

Bricks: That story about Jimmy could have been told to any audience, for any purpose. Maybe it belongs in a story about the entertainment industry, or in a career guide for comedians.

Mortar: Now that moment is relevant to my audience. It is given a specific purpose, and contextualized in a useful way.

My whole Jimmy Fallon profile reads like that — bricks, mortar, bricks, mortar, me telling a story and then using those facts to uniquely serve my audience’s needs. I am always assuring people: Yes, this is for you.

Here’s how you can do this.

You don’t have to write or speak exactly like I did in the Jimmy story. The point isn’t to simply intersperse nods to your audience every few paragraphs.

Instead, the point is to be relentlessly in service of your audience — to always be aware that people are reading or listening or watching or engaging because they are, in some way, seeking benefit for themselves. They expect whatever you say to be for them.

So what does your specific audience want? To be entertained? Challenged? Informed? Engaged? You should know the answer.

When you think like this, you’ll become more aware of what you’re writing and saying — right down to the sentence level. I do it all the time now, even in conversations and emails.

Let’s say I’m interviewed on a podcast and someone asks me, “How did your career begin?”

Years ago, before I used bricks and mortar, I would have thought: Oh, this podcaster is interested in me! Then I’d have given a long, detailed answer about my early career.

But now I think differently. I wonder: What does this audience want? If I’m asked about my early career, it’s probably because this podcast’s audience cares about starting their careers.

So now I give a few small details about my journey. Those are the bricks. Then I pivot into the lessons I learned that are applicable to the listener. Those are the mortar.

Because look, here’s the thing: You might have the best stories in the world. The best insight. The best information. The best product. The best service. The best anything. But nobody will bother hearing them if you don’t answer their First Question.

If you stack a bunch of bricks on top of each other, all you’ve made is a wall that easily falls. Bricks need mortar. Facts need context. A story isn’t good because of what’s in it — it’s good because of how you tell it, and that means you know who you’re telling it to.

You are the thing that makes a story good. Never forget that.

That’s how to do one thing better.

P.S. Want my help telling your story? I’m available for 1:1 calls or monthly coaching, where I help people build their personal brand, increase their LinkedIn following, improve their writing, strategize their PR, and more. Options available here.

P.P.S. Miss last week’s newsletter? It was about how to become incredibly valuable — by focusing only on what you’re excellent at. Read!

Let's Connect!

New to the newsletter? Subscribe for free and take control of your future.

💌 What do you think? Let me know!

📕 Order my book to future-proof your career!

🎧 Latest podcast: “Who Should Pay At A Business Dinner? Help!”

Welcome to One Thing Better. Each week, the editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine (that's me) shares one way to level up — and build a career or company you love.

I was traveling last week with no time to write. Here’s one of my favorite editions from last year.

Today’s one thing: Trying to do everything.

That one thing, better: Maximizing what you’re great at.

Made with ChatGPT

You’re not good at everything. And you think that’s a problem.

Why? For all the reasons!

Because being bad at something feels bad.

Because many people need many things from you.

Because if you’re not good at everything today, you worry your options are limited tomorrow.

But here’s the thing: You don’t have to be good at everything. In fact, it’s better if you’re not.

Today I’ll help you become even more valuable… by NOT doing everything. And I’ll start by introducing you to someone who learned this in a the largest possible way — by giving up one of the biggest jobs in the world.

Imagine almost having everything... 

Marc Randolph at Netflix HQ in 1999

Here’s the scene: The year is 1999. Marc Randolph is the CEO and cofounder of a startup called Netflix, which is struggling to grow. He can’t figure out why.

One day, Marc gets a knock at his office door. It’s his cofounder, Reed Hastings, who asks if he can show Marc a PowerPoint presentation.

Sure, Marc says. So Reed begins.

“At first I couldn’t quite understand what was happening,” Marc told me in an interview.

That’s because this wasn’t a usual PowerPoint presentation. It was kinda… about Marc? It was a presentation about Marc, being shown to Marc?

Eventually, Marc got it. The PowerPoint presentation had a message, which was this: Marc should step down as CEO. And Reed should take his place.

I asked Marc how he processed this. He said:

And why was Reed right?

This would be the revelation that changed Marc’s life.

Marc dreamed of being a big-time CEO — the guy who can grow a company into the billions. But frankly, he was not good at doing that. It’s why Netflix was stuck.

That’s not to say Marc was useless, though. “What I truly loved was the early stages,” he told me. “And I'll be modest here — it's what I'm actually good at!”

In fact, this is exactly what he’d already done at Netflix! He turned an idea into a company. That's hard, and he did it excellently. But he wasn’t the guy to grow it into a billion-dollar company — because that’s someone else’s skillset.

Marc had a choice: He could either be an amazing version of his amazing self, or he could be a mediocre version of someone else.

He chose to be amazing.

Marc stepped down as CEO and went on to a career helping early-stage startups. Reed took over as CEO, and grew Netflix into the behemoth we know today. Both of these men did what they are best at — and both are incredible successes as a result.

You can do that too.

Marc’s story can be shortened like this: He discovered his limitations, and it helped him recognize his strength.

Now think about what you’re struggling with. And ask yourself:

1. Why am I not excellent at this?

I’m using “excellent” on purpose. NBA All-Star Chris Bosh once told me, “We don't work to be average.” It’s true — we work to be excellent! That’s because excellence gives us purpose and excitement. Excellence is worth sharing. Other people deserve our excellence.

So, why are you not excellent? There are many reasonable answers to this. Maybe you’re learning something new. Maybe you’re exploring. Or building. I’ll do another obnoxious name-drop here: Ryan Reynolds once told me, "You can't be good at something unless you're willing to be bad." Also true! Excellence takes time, and it is hard, and that’s OK. If your new pursuit satisfies and excites you, then please, please — keep going.

But if you don’t have a good answer to the question, then it’s time to ask another one:

2. Is it because I’m excellent at something else?

This sounds so obvious. But in the moment, it doesn’t feel obvious. It sure didn’t to Marc.

Maybe the answer is right in front of you. Maybe it is not. Either is fine.

I’ve gone through a version of this myself. For most of my career, I aspired to be a celebrated magazine features writer. These are the people who write regularly for the New Yorker or the New York Times Sunday Magazine — whose big, award-winning, investigative articles get turned into movies, and are buzzed about by all the big-time journalists on Twitter.

But I never achieved that.

Oh, I tried! I really tried. I wrote a lot of magazine features. And they were fine. But I won no awards. Got no movie deals. The New Yorker never reached out. And deep down, I understood: I’m perfectly good at this, but I’m not excellent. And that hurts!

Now, third question:

3. What would happen if I just did the thing I’m excellent at? 

Nobody ever said, "Shaq was a terrible basketball player because he couldn't shoot three-pointers." No. Shaq was amazing because he did a few things very, very well.

So try this thought experiment.

Let’s say you know what you’re excellent at. How much of your day is spent doing it? Twenty percent? Fifty, if you’re lucky? Now what would it look like if you increased that? What if eighty percent of your day was spent on what you’re excellent at?

I bet it sounds good. So how do you make that happen?

Maybe you make a major change. Maybe you just do your job differently. Maybe you start offloading work that takes you away from your excellence. Maybe, maybe, you just start to see the pathway towards maximizing yourself…

Or maybe this isn’t possible right now. That’s also fine! Not all of us are Marc Randolph, who can just casually step down as CEO of a company. But we can build a bridge there. We can work backwards and think: To get there tomorrow, what needs to happen today?

And what if you don’t know what you’re excellent at? That’s fine too. It’s just time to think deeper.

Like I said: I am not an excellent magazine features writer. But years ago, as I thought about it, I realized: I am excellent at a deeper skill, because I’m an excellent communicator. Magazine features were just one way I tried expressing that skill.

So, I wondered: What else can I do with that?

I didn’t really know. But I thought: I’ll just keep trying, and trying...

This gave me the freedom to move away from traditional magazine features, and explore other kinds of writing — like the advice-driven writing I’m doing for you right now. It didn’t come naturally. I had a lot of imposter syndrome at first. I wondered: Will anyone take me seriously? It also required an emotional break with the work I’d done before — to think, “I am no longer that thing I identified with, but I'm making room to become something better.”

You know what got me through it? Once I started writing like this — earnestly, directly, helpfully, tapping into a part of myself I’d never let fully bloom — people sent me long, personal notes about how it impacted them. Nobody did that when I was just a magazine writer. And oh, it matters. It is an incredible gift, helping people like this.

It feels, in a word: excellent.

It’s time to maximize yourself.

I asked Marc Randolph if he has advice for others. And he does. “If people are looking for what success is,” he told me, “then spending your day doing the things you love: That's success.”

Success is not doing everything, in other words. It’s doing something — something meaningful, something purposeful.

You know who just took that advice? A reader of this newsletter who I’ll call Susan.

Susan read one of my earlier newsletters, which was about how to feel better quitting something. And it forced her to confront a reality: She’d built a business that she loved for a long time — but as it evolved, it took her further away from the work she was most passionate about.

“If I'm not fulfilled or inspired or doing the thing that lights me up, then am I really even doing my best work?” she wrote.

And so, prompted by my email, she talked to her team and decided to close the business. She wants to get back to basics — to the thing she loves, to the thing she is excellent at. “And I feel, what's the word I'm looking for? Magnificent. Buoyant. Elated. Free. Like the creative floodgates have reopened and in 72 hours my imagination and delight has returned," she wrote me.

Without knowing it, Susan did a version of what I suggested above. She asked why she wasn’t excellent at her work. She then asked if she was excellent at something else. And then she asked what would happen if she only did what she was excellent at.

Then, most importantly, she took that answer seriously.

Forget everything. The world does not need you to do everything, or to be everything. The world needs the thing you’re amazing at. So do it. Or hone it. Or at least give yourself permission to search for it, or inch your way towards it, because it is there, waiting to be activated, to become potent, extra strength, the iron core, the red-hot magma, the pure essence of excellence, the thing that makes you exactly who someone else needs — and when you devote yourself to it, as Susan found for herself, you will finally feel magnificent and buoyant and elated and free.

That’s how to do one thing better.

P.S. Want help building your personal brand or getting press? On Sept 20, I’m hosting a call on this subject — I’ll share my top tips and answer your questions. It’ll take place in my One Thing Better community. You can join here, and then access the login info here. (Video will be shared with all members, so don’t worry if you miss it.)

Plus, if you join the community this month, you can also take part in my Voice Memo Day — when I’ll take member questions and send you voice memo answers!

P.P.S. Miss last week’s newsletter? It was about my recent DISASTER giving a keynote talk, and what I learned about how to recover after you blow it. Read here!

Btw, I got TONS of nice messages from people after sending last week’s newsletter. Thanks to you all. Your kindness, sympathy, and shared experiences meant a lot.

I’m happy to report that, exactly one week after my big flop, I was on a stage in Dubai and the talk went excellently. It made the experience there even more special. Here’s a photo:

The point is: We fall, we bounce back up. That’s growth. That’s progress.

It happens for us all.

Let's Connect!

New to the newsletter? Subscribe here.

💌 What do you think? Let me know!

📕 Order my book to future-proof your career!

🎧 Latest podcast: Fixing a DM That Didn't Work... With the Guy Who Sent It

Welcome to One Thing Better. Each week, the editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine (that's me) shares one way to be more successful and satisfied — and build a career or company you love.

If this email is useful to you, please share it with others!

Today’s one thing: Being perfect.

That one thing, better: Being real.

Made with ChatGPT

I just bombed for the first time in my professional career. Like, truly bombed.

It happened last week. I was speaking at a conference in Las Vegas, telling a story I’ve told hundreds of times. Then something went wrong. My mind scrambled. I couldn’t recover. I stammered. Struggled.

Hundreds of people watched. It was excruciating and embarrassing and alarming.

But here’s the truly shocking part: It wasn’t a disaster.

People were happy. Grateful, even. They thanked me.

Today, I want to tell you what happened. Because the next time I lose control, this is the insight I’ll rely upon to get me through.

And I know it can help you too. 

Here’s what happened.

This pic is from a different event, but you get the idea.

I’m in a Vegas conference room, about to be the keynote at Valuation Expo. Before I go on stage, a guy introduces himself to me and says, “I’ll be your time-keeper — so I’ll flash you cards when you have 10 and then 5 minutes left.”

I say thanks. I’m not worried about the time. I’ve been hired to give a 30-minute talk, and I know how to do exactly that.

Then I’m introduced. I hit the stage and feel good. The crowd is engaged. I’m full of energy. I do my opening, then am halfway through my first section when...

The time-keeper flashes me a “10”.

That can’t be right, I think to myself. Maybe he means I’ve been on for 10 minutes?

It’s confusing, but I try to put it out of my mind. I wrap up the first section of my talk and start the second. 

Then the time-keeper flashes me a “5”.

Now I’m very confused. Clearly he means I have 5 minutes left. But how is that possible? I know how long my talk takes — and I should have about 18 minutes left. But if there are 5 minutes left, that means I’ve been talking for 25 minutes. My mind starts to spin. Where did the time go? Did I just ramble for 25 minutes? Is something wrong? And what do I do now? How do I wrap up in 5 minutes?

As I’m wondering this, I’m also trying to keep my talk going. I was in the middle of a fun story about a beer company, but now my brain is overwhelmed. I start to lose control. Words become harder.

I’ve experienced a lot of problems on stage, and pride myself on navigating them. I’ve had tech failures. Loud noises. Disruptive audience members. I know how to handle it with grace and humor. But the problem has never been me. And I have no playbook for this.

I stop. I apologize to the audience. I try to keep going, but can’t find my mental footing. I stop again. An attendee tries to be helpful, reminding me of the last words I said. I try again. I just… cannot… do it…

Then I realize something important:

I’m trying to finish my story, and the crowd is nervously rooting for me to get through it — which means the story is no longer the point.

So I fling my clicker onto a nearby chair and I say: “You know what? Fuck it.”

The crowd laughs and claps. The whole room relaxes.

I tell the crowd that I’m exhausted. It’s true. I’d slept poorly the night before, woken up early, flown from New York to Vegas, and hit the stage at 4:30 PST — which is 7:30 pm for my body. It’s been a long day.

Then I try telling them some other things. My brain is in knots. My body is a mix of adrenaline and panic. I’m only half as coherent as I wished. But I try.

I tell them that I’ve seen this happen to other speakers. I tell them that this is scary. I attempt to give some advice about maintaining control in difficult situations, and how every mistake is an opportunity to learn. I apologize. I make a few jokes. I thank them for being so understanding. Then I get off stage, defeated.

That’s when I get clarity.

First, the time-keeper runs over to apologize. He is so nice. And he explains what happened.

I was supposed to go on stage at 4:30, and his job was to get me off stage at 5. But the previous session went long and the sound guys had to fix something, so I didn’t get going until maybe 4:43. The time-keeper wasn’t sure what to do, so he stuck to his original orders — have me wrap up by 5.

This is why his cues were off. Instead of pacing me for a 30-minute talk, he was pacing me for a 17-minute talk — but I had no idea.

I don’t blame him. I could have paused and asked for clarification — which would have been awkward, sure, but it would have saved the day. I was on stage. I was in charge. It’s a great lesson for next time.

Then attendees start approaching me. They tell me their own stories of blanking out. 

“It made me feel better about myself, knowing that you’re not perfect,” one said. 

“That was the most real thing I saw today,” another said.

Then I learn that nobody is upset. The event organizers, my dear friends Hal and Kim, thought I handled it well. (It also taught them a good lesson, they said: Next year, they’re hiring a showrunner to avoid these kinds of miscommunications.) The sponsor, who paid specifically to cover my speaking fee, was also happy — they think my talk was positive and memorable. (Thank you, ServiceLink!)

My brain starts to clear. I am relieved. But still, something nags at me...

What could I have done better?

I struggle to fall asleep that night. I keep replaying the situation in my head, and wonder: What else could I have done on stage, after my talk fell apart? How could I have made it more powerful? More memorable?

I start conjuring scenarios — or what psychologists call counterfactual thinking. I settle on an alternate reality: I should have asked everyone to raise their hand if they’ve messed up in a big moment, then had them look around to recognize how universal this experience is, and then I would share some big, powerful lesson.

I can’t get this idea out of my head. I’m so regretful. I need perspective.

I record a voice memo for my friend Katherine Morgan Schafler, who’s a brilliant psychotherapist. I explain what happened, how I handled it, how I’m now stuck imagining all these better ways of handling the moment, and this idea I had for having everyone raise their hand, etc etc etc. 

Speaking aloud is so helpful. It’s like taking ideas out of your head and putting them on a shelf, where they can be dealt with later.

I text Katherine my voice memo. I fall asleep. When I wake up, I have her response.

She says she loves everything I did — except for my fantasy about how I could have handled the moment better. “You’re looking for a ‘perfect’ version of this,” she says, “but your ‘perfect’ version is much less powerful than what ended up happening.”

Then she says: “Your version of ‘perfect’ is a version where you don’t trust the audience to figure out what everyone in that room knew, and now gets to remember — which is that we all get scrambled, and we all have a choice to make about how we recover. And the speed and efficiency with which we recover isn’t the thing that matters. What matters is that people see us trying, people see us making mistakes, and people see us making reparative measures. The reparative measure is what matters, not whether the reparative measure is immediately efficient.”

This was exactly what I needed. In other words: Don’t measure yourself by how quickly or impressively you recover. Measure yourself by your effort and intentions. That’s what’s controllable, and it’s what people will see and remember.

When I get home, I tell my wife Jen this story. She has a great perspective too.

“You went to give people a helpful message,” she said. “What happened wasn’t the message you intended to give, but it was an important message anyway. And they’ll remember it.”

It’s all true. 

This happened last Tuesday. I’ve been getting messages from attendees ever since.

One person wrote me: “Earlier today, I was shaking just to stand up and ask a question of a panel in front of my peers, like a fragile child. You were a rockstar. You helped to raise the tide of intelligent, aspirational, motivated thinkers at a time when our profession is being shaken to the core.”

Another wrote: “I know you felt like you bombed and lost track of your story BUT literally you were the best speaker by far and I loved how authentic you were, even with your frazzleness.”

These messages mean the world to me.

But now I also understand what motivates them.

You’re not measured against perfection. You’re measured against something deeper, more human, more realistic, and more lasting. So in difficult moments, move towards that thing. Don’t worry about whether you do it well, or quickly, or beautifully. Just worry about doing it. 

That’s how to do one thing better.

P.S. I can speak to your team! LOL, it’s weird to pitch myself after what I just wrote, but while we’re on the subject… I do keynotes and workshops, live and virtual, that help people and organizations thrive in times of change. It’s kinda like One Thing Better, but live and interactive, and I’ve done it for the likes of Google, Pfizer, Alibaba, Crocs, Dell, and more. Here’s how I typically open my talk, and then I customize it for you. You can learn more and get in touch here.

P.P.S. Miss my last newsletter? It was about how to earn people’s trust — and keep it. Read!

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Welcome to One Thing Better. Each week, the editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine (that's me) shares one way to be more successful and satisfied — and build a career or company you love.

If this email is useful to you, please share it with others!

Today’s one thing: Being trusted.

That one thing, better: Always earning trust.

Do people trust you?

Could they trust you more?

We often have binary answers to this — it’s either yes or no.

But trust doesn’t actually work like that. Trust is a gradient — and once you appreciate how it works, you can build (and maintain!) trust in smarter, more careful ways.

It’s a concept called the trust battery.

Today, I’ll show you how to use it — and how it can help you build better relationships, professionally and personally.

What is the trust battery?

The idea is often credited to Tobi Lütke, the CEO of Shopify. He explained it like this in a New York Times story:

To be clear: Nobody has one trust battery. Everyone has a different battery with everyone they know. “It’s a mental model for how to think about the relationship between people,” Lütke said later on a podcast. Jane’s battery with Amanda might be 30%, but her battery with Suzanne might be 98%. 

Act wisely, and the battery rises. Act poorly, and it falls. Sure, you’ll never know exactly how charged a battery is — but once you focus on it, you’ll see plenty of clues.

I love this idea — so let’s take it a step further:

Our batteries require constant attention

As I wrote above, most people think of trust as binary: Someone either trusts us, or they don’t. But that would mean trust is unmovable. If we’re trusted, we can take it for granted or even abuse it a little. If we’re not trusted, then our situation is hopeless.

The trust battery forces us to think differently. Now we must factor trust into all our actions — because every action can impact the battery. 

This creates healthy caution: If my battery with someone is at 80%, do I want to take a risk that could bring it down to 70%?

It also creates healthy patience: If my battery with someone is at 30%, I can incrementally grow it — up to 35%, 40%, and more. That way, I’m making progress while being mindful that they don’t fully trust me yet. 

Even more importantly, it creates healthy perspective: The trust battery forces you to consider what really charges or drains the battery — and whether you’re unnecessarily holding yourself back.

That last part is tricky. And to be frank, I’m still learning it. Here’s why.

When to spend the battery

Let’s hit pause on the battery metaphor for a moment, and just get personal.

A few months ago, I was talking with my friend (and podcast cohost) Nicole Lapin about my personal-brand business. She thinks I can be more aggressive with it, and asked: Why don’t I market myself more? Why don’t I raise my prices?

I told her my fear: If I’m too salesy, people will trust me less.

For example: I turn down most advertising requests for this newsletter, which is why there are few ads here. I also rarely promote my offerings, like keynotes speaking or 1:1 coaching. Why? Because I don’t want readers (like you!) to feel like I’m just after their dollars. I’ve also kept my coaching prices low, because I don’t want others to think I’m too uppity or exclusive. And when I work with partners, I almost never propose upsells.

“You want to keep your trust battery at 100% and I love that,” Nicole told me. “But I think you’re overestimating what things drain your battery.”

This got me thinking. Nicole is right — I value people’s trust, and I’ve always been willing to make sacrifices to earn and keep it. I frequently give away my time and expertise, I ask for few favors, I’m rarely confrontational, and I never want people to feel like I have an agenda.

I’m comfortable with these choices. But as Nicole said, they’re premised on beliefs that may not be true. 

For example: I rarely ask people for favors because I don’t want to drain my battery — but what if, for people I have trusting relationships with, asking for favors actually charges the battery? After all, I’m showing that I trust them enough to ask for their help. And when they can help, it makes them happy.

And what if sales pitches aren’t as trust-draining as I fear? It’s possible that, if I pitch services in my newsletter, most readers aren’t bothered — or maybe their trust dips just a few percentages. But when someone buys, and I deliver a lot of value for their dollar, they could trust me even more than before!

So, how are you charging your battery?

As I’ve written this, I’ve been thinking about how I charge my trust battery. 

Nicole was right: I really, truly want to keep my batteries as close to 100% as possible — which isn’t always easy, and isn’t always possible, but I try.

So I asked myself: What works? What do I aspire to do best?

Here are 18 ways I recommend building trust:

1. Give with no expectation of a return

2. Ask deep questions and honor people’s answers

3. Assume good intentions

4. Be curious and genuinely interested

5. Be responsive

6. Be reliable

7. Be communicative

8. Be patient

9. Be additive

10. Be predictable

11. Recognize other people’s priorities, and prioritize them

12. Recognize other people’s concerns, and never inhabit them

13. Recognize where people are coming from, and meet them there

14. Never be reckless

15. When there’s an opportunity to be kind, even in small ways, be kind

16. When there’s an opportunity to be cruel, even if it’s tempting, always pass

17. If someone needs time or space, give it to them

18. Trust them too

Every day, you have multiple chances to charge the trust battery.

All it requires is your energy.

That’s how to do one thing better.

P.S. Want my help 1:1? In the spirit of following Nicole’s advice above, I’ll share this: I’m bookable for 15- or 30-minute consulting sessions, or monthly programs where I can help you develop a personal brand, improve your writing, grow your LinkedIn following, and more. Connect here.

P.P.S. Not getting paid what you’re worth? Here’s a podcast episode where Nicole talks me into increasing my rates. She convinced me — and she can convince you!

P.P.S. Miss my last newsletter? It was about how to ask for what you really want. Read!

Let's Connect!

New to the newsletter? Subscribe for free and take control of your future.

💌 What do you think? Let me know!

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🎧 Latest podcast: "Surprising Career Lessons From the Olympics”