Summer has a magical way of expanding our perception of time, stretching the days like taffy, sweet and slow and far longer than we expect.

Rarely in a dreadful, “Ugh, where did the day go?” way, but rather in the “I can’t believe three hours have already passed now that I’m checking the clock for the first time” kind of way. 

I’ve lost track of time on several occasions recently. I spent nearly two hours deep in conversations at book club, nearly four hours eating dinner and fully immersed in watching a movie with a friend, and several hours on a sunny day paddleboarding with loved ones, only to return home after the sun had set. Several instances where neither urgency nor clocks existed. 

There’s a name for what happens in moments like these: psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi called it flow in his book, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience: “the state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter; the experience itself is so enjoyable that people will do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it” (Csikszentmihalyi, 1990, p.4).

Flow is what happens when you're so fully present that there's no room left for anything else. It doesn't just happen to you; it’s where you find joy and fulfillment through activities that match your skills, often leading to growth. It requires the right conditions: the right people, a level of engagement, and enough space to be present in the moment. 

Summers often create more opportunities for these conditions to present themselves naturally. But the conditions aren't seasonal. They're replicable. They're a choice.

I keep asking myself: What would it look like to carry a little of this into other seasons? Into October? Into January? Not the weather (wouldn’t that be nice?), but the willingness to linger and choose the people and the activities worth losing track of time for, and then actually let myself get lost. 

Maybe you can prioritize these moments more, too.

• Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (Free PDF)

• nostalgic things to do this summer on milk and cookies by Ayushi Thakkar

• The BIG Summer Reading Guide! on In Joy with Brittany Viklund

• Your Happiness Calendar for July 2026 from Greater Good 

• you weren’t meant to live life on repeat (YouTube video) by Ottilie 

• A virtual fireworks show I created just for you

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is TIME INTENTIONAL, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally in honor of Janet, Dale, and John. 

This newsletter may include affiliate and referral links marked with an asterisk. If you click on or make a purchase through one or more of the links, I may receive a small commission or referral bonus.

If you’ve been a reader for a while, you already know Janet, Dale, and John. But in case you’re newer here, they were my grandparents. They passed away in their 60s before enjoying the late-life retirement and old age we’re often told to look forward to when we’re younger. And they’re the reason this newsletter exists.

In the first phase of TIME INTENTIONAL, I told stories about each of them sporadically, as it felt relevant to the week’s lessons or to an idea I shared. What I realized during the break is that most of their presence was in the origin story, as something to reference at the beginning and to revisit occasionally when it felt relevant. The break allowed me to think about how I want to honor them more consistently. 

I landed on a new format that’s quite special and sweet, and even though you might stumble upon newsletters that share similar content (inspiring intentional living, reflections about time and how we spend it, stories on grief and meaning, etc.), I am confident you can’t find another newsletter exactly like this one. 

Moving forward, every issue of TIME INTENTIONAL will have three sections, each named for one of my grandparents and the memories I have of them:

• Dear Janet

• Dale’s Unfinished Homework

• Around John’s Campfire 

The last photo I took with Janet and Dale (late 2014) and John in Hawaii (summer 2012)

Dear Janet

My grandma Janet was a maker, a memory keeper, and someone who wrote down just about everything. She ran an in-home daycare when we were growing up, and she always ensured that we scheduled craft time (with heaping piles of craft supplies from Michael’s). She loved scrapbooks. And she was the type of person who wrote the date and people’s names on the backs of photos and detailed recipes on scraps of paper that now live inside cookbooks in my kitchen. I tend to believe much of my creativity as an adult is due in part to the environments she created. 

So, in honor of her making, memory-keeping, and pen-to-paper tendencies,  Dear Janet is where I’ll write each week’s reflection (think, similar to previous essays, but with the intent to shorten them). One idea, story, or thing I’ve been sitting with in a short reflection format.

Dale’s Unfinished Homework

My grandpa, Dale, was my favorite troublemaker. In addition to all the time spent crafting and creating, my room at my grandparents’ house functioned like a well-run classroom. I remember a giant white bookshelf, my Highlights subscription, several of those fun school subject workbooks many (okay, just me?) of us loved as kids, and a whiteboard on the wall so I could “teach the class.” I loved playing school. My grandma was a relatively good student, but my grandpa was always the bad student who never finished his homework because he was a class clown. He was notorious for flashing a grin and sprinting out of the classroom to avoid consequences.

In honor of his often unfinished business, Dale’s Unfinished Homework will be a curated links section — books, articles, podcasts, and other things worth your time that week. Things that made me think, shifted my perspective, or felt worth passing along. This will replace the previous “Time Well Spent: Weekly Roundup,” and subsequent intentional journaling prompts. 

Around John’s Campfire

My Papa John was a camper, a fisherman, and a cowboy. I carry lasting fond memories of our camping trips, roadtrips, and hours spent casting lines and hoping for a big catch. I attribute my current-day desire to spend time outdoors to him and my Grammy. And one lesser-known trait I loved about him was that he frequently shared deep life wisdom in casual conversation, without realizing how impactful it was. 

When I think about campfire conversations in movies, people always share raw truths, vulnerabilities, and confessions worth marinating over, leading to silent stares into the flames. So, in Around John’s Campfire, I’m going to share a quote or passage that I loved (maybe even with some deep life wisdom!). I’m reading so many wonderful books and stories related to TIME INTENTIONAL topics, and this will be the space for me to share them with you without a lengthy book review.

Me with Janet, Dale, and John as a little girl (yikes, I’m feeling old!)

In a perfect world, there might even be a consistent theme across all three sections, but give me some grace here; some weeks, the thread might be loose. And I might sneak in some additional fun, like giveaways and such.

What I can pinky promise you is that every issue will continue to support the TIME INTENTIONAL philosophy, and I’ll continue writing about several of the topics you’ve come here for: living intentionally and building a meaningful life within the constraints and circumstances of the life you have here and now. 

Thank you for supporting me in honoring my grandparents and sharing my heartfelt ideas along the way. The first new issue lands next Sunday!

*clears throat* 

Ahem — hi, remember me?! It’s the summer solstice in the Northern Hemisphere today, which means spring is officially over, and so is TIME INTENTIONAL’s spring break! 

You would not believe how quickly a season passes when you use it as a reference point to pause and restart a project. I can’t believe how many times I’ve uttered the phrase, “Ugh, winter is sooo long,” because seasons do not, in fact, last forever.

I’ve sorely missed writing TIME INTENTIONAL over the last few months, so I’m glad to be back (with some exciting updates)! What did I miss?! How have you been? How was your spring? Reply and let me know what you’ve been up to! (Please! I want to hear from you.)

Before we get into it, thank you so much to Payton (my wonderful husband), Kelly, Carolyn, and Kara for asking me when I’d get back to writing at some point over the last couple of weeks, and to Kara, in particular, for browsing the new website. Your nudges and kind words lit the fire under my ass for this return!

First, an update on the list of items I mentioned I was sitting with going into the break:

How to lead with more value

I’ve thought about this one a lot. Given that I’m writing about spending time intentionally, I want you to receive some value from reading TIME INTENTIONAL. But what I realized is that “value” comes in many forms: delight, provoke thought, educate, encourage, entertain, and many more.

Admittedly, I felt external pressure to “lead with more value” based on what I thought made newsletters “successful”. But I’m not working toward traditional definitions of “success” here. I’m not trying to sell you 12-step, “change your life” frameworks. So, I hope you find value in the words I share here in the forms I’ve mentioned above (and more). 

What this reflection did help me do is create a stronger description of what TIME INTENTIONAL is:

That’s what I hope you find here: a little bit of philosophical, personal, practical magic that helps you live more intentionally, today.

Dreaming up a new, shorter email structure

I’ve had a handful of unsubscribers mention that my newsletter is too long. (Not an incorrect assessment, but this is my creative writing project, after all.) As you can imagine, it’s also challenging to produce a long(er) weekly newsletter without sacrificing quality. I knew I wanted to adjust the structure, but I wasn’t sure how.

When I sat with these observations, I realized I’ve sprinkled stories about my grandparents throughout editions as it felt relevant. But I craved a way to make honoring them foundational and more consistent.

So, next week, I’ll tell you all about the new, shorter email structure, and how you can’t find any other newsletter exactly like it.

More opportunities to hear from others pursuing intentional paths

This is a larger undertaking (mentally and technologically) than I’m ready to commit to at this time.

Long-term, I’d love for TIME INTENTIONAL to be home to the largest collection of stories about people pursuing intentional life choices and what that looks like for them. I need to figure out what that process looks like and how this would work on my website.

Collaborations with other brands and newsletters

If I’m being truly honest, I’d love to make a living from my own writing (TIME INTENTIONAL, bylined personal essays and articles, books (?), etc.). That’s the long-term vision.

However, I’ve decided that:

• I’m not currently interested in turning TIME INTENTIONAL into a paid newsletter

• I don’t want to share irrelevant ads to make a few bucks

• I want to collaborate with brands and newsletters that are the right fit for this space

I’m not saying I won’t include sponsored ads in my newsletters, but I value your time, so I promise to share intentionally. 

On newsletter partnerships: I still want to explore hearing from contributors. And I love spotlighting others, so I added a contributing writers section to the Authors page on the new website.

Upgrading the website

This is one of my favorite achievements from the break, so drumroll, please! 

Here’s the new website (click the title or graphic below): 

Time Intentional

A curation of reflections, inspiration, and ideas about defining what it means to live intentionally for those who know time is non-refundable.

Time Intentional • Alyssa at Time Intentional 🕰️

I hope you can spend some time browsing around, but here are a few of my favorites: 

• What Readers Say: I’ll share your kind words and highlight every reader who funds TIME INTENTIONAL.

• Book Recommendations: I brought my bookshelf dreams to life, so click a spine or switch to card view to browse the book list. (All purchases support independent bookstores via Bookshop.org and TIME INTENTIONAL.) 

• Intentional Journaling Prompts: I turned the full list of past prompts into a random prompt generator. (Think of it like a digital prompt card deck!)

Can you feel the excitement?! Gah, it’s so good to be back. Same time, same place, next week?! I can’t wait to share where I landed with the new format. 

In the meantime, I’m off to enjoy a few extra minutes of daylight, drag my husband to get a celebratory, TIME-INTENTIONAL-is-back boba with me, and play in the sun — more time to live this one precious life.

Don’t forget to write me! 💌

Source: GIPHY

Here’s what you need to know: I’m temporarily pausing Time Intentional and putting it on spring break.

I’ve always heard the two greatest newsletter challenges are (1) starting and (2) publishing consistently, both of which I’ve overcome thus far.

The third challenge that no one warned me about? How much higher the stakes feel because I’m building something around people I love. I can’t think of anything more meaningful than this work.

I don’t write this newsletter because I have to, feel like I should, or because it’s part of a marketing funnel. I do it because losing my grandparents in their 60s transformed my entire perspective on life and who I want to be without waiting for retirement to feel “free.” And the gift of living intentionally is one I genuinely want to share with others. 

But I haven’t prioritized this work and created space for Time Intentional to evolve and improve. So, I’m practicing what I preach and deliberately creating space to envision what’s next without the pressure of weekly publishing. Here are some things I’m thinking about:

• How to lead with more value

• Dreaming up a new, shorter email structure

• More opportunities to hear from others post-loss (or other life transition), pursuing intentional paths

• Collaborations with other brands and newsletters

• Upgrading the Time Intentional website 

In the meantime, you can: 

• Email me at alyssa@timeintentional.com anytime (I mean it!)

• Reply to this email and share what you love, like, and dislike

• Visit the Time Intentional website (and past issues) 

• Complete the form below if you want a Time Intentional sticker pack (subscribers only)

I hate the idea of not sharing a specific date when you’ll hear from me, but I also don’t want to rush. That’s why I’m calling it a spring break, intending to return before the end of the season. 

I’m confident in the foundation thanks to all of your support. I truly appreciate every ounce of encouragement, kind note, coffee dollar, and social media mention so far. I hope you’ll stay tuned to see what’s next.

I know with wholehearted certainty, if I could ask my grandparents one last question, “What would you want the living to know?” they’d share some version of: 

Don’t wait. Don’t wait to tell people how much you love them. Don’t postpone your life’s greatest dreams and buried ambitions. Don’t live a life that others expect of you; live the one you want for yourself. Don’t wait to take your dream vacation. And don’t wait until “old age” to relax, spend time with your loved ones, develop hobbies, and become the best version of you, because retirement may never come. 

See you on the other side.

Time Intentional sticker pack

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know, or…

Are you thinking about starting a newsletter? Remember that done is better than perfect, so start today! beehiiv* makes it incredibly easy to take the first step.

This newsletter may include affiliate and referral links marked with an asterisk. If you click on or choose to purchase through one or more of the links below, I may receive a small commission or referral bonus.

During our conversation on the It’s About Time podcast, Anna Dearmon Kornick posed a question that, admittedly, I’m still thinking about:

“What does it really mean to ‘be intentional?’ When someone says, ‘Oh, I just want to be more intentional this year,’ what does that even mean? Intentional how? Why?”

The best way I could describe what intentionality means to me, when Anna asked, is not living on autopilot, waking up and living a life I didn’t always actively choose, and “going through the motions.” So many of us fall into the trap of making half-hearted choices and finding rhythms and routines that work, look nice on paper, and are “good enough.” And then we settle in and act as if, once we figure out what these rhythms are, we lose all power to stand up and look out a different window to mix things up.

Doing this is tough! It’s difficult to free your mind from the chains of the comfort that living on autopilot brings. One of the easiest ways I hold myself accountable to doing this is through aligning an autopilot-fighting reflection with the change of seasons. Four times per year. Four chances to ask yourself, “Is this MY version of an intentional, meaningful life?”

And so, in celebration of the recent Spring Equinox in the Northern Hemisphere, I want to share what I learned from Dr. Kate Henry, a productivity coach specializing in sustainable productivity, about how to be more intentional this spring. For context, we discussed how to refresh workday routines this season, but Dr. Henry’s tips are practical outside of work, too.

1. Reflect so you can plan intentionally. Think about your actual behaviors and patterns over the last few months. Reflect on what you do and don’t want to bring with you into the new season. Dr. Henry noted we can approach reflection through multiple areas of our lives, including work, home, relationships, exercise, etc. Grounding in what your life actually looks like makes it easier to pinpoint what you can (and cannot) change.

2. Choose one word to represent the season. I’m a fan of choosing a word of the year, and if you engage in this practice, you might assess where you need to better align with your word. Or you can choose a word to represent each season separately (which I also love the idea of, for different energy needs and priorities).

3. Refresh your small, often subtle, daily routines. In the work-focused piece, we discussed refreshing the opening and closing workday routines, but the same holds true outside of work. Got a pre-work morning routine? Maybe it’s time for a refresh! How about an after-school routine for your kids? Maybe there’s an opportunity to be more intentional in how you help your kids transition to personal time. Let me be clear: routines are valuable and help reduce the number of decisions we have to make. But just because you set your routine, and it still works for you, doesn’t mean you would actively choose it today.

4. Approach new habits as tiny experiments. Most choices in life are not permanent! You can change your mind, which means you can try new habits often with little to no risk. Cool, right? You can assess your values and priorities this season and try new small habits that support them. When you think about exploring life as an experiment, it becomes a lot more fun and less serious.

Time passes no matter how you choose to spend it. You can walk around on autopilot, and the Earth won’t give a damn. But something tells me you don’t want your entire life to pass you by as one that felt “good enough.” And I don’t either. Be the gardener of your life. Carefully choose what to plant and grow, prune what no longer serves you to give the right things room to breathe, and create the conditions to allow various parts of yourself to thrive in different seasons.

For Dr. Henry’s workday routine refresh-specific tips, read the full piece on The Everygirl:

Experts Say to Make These 5 Routine Tweaks for a More Productive Spring

We spoke with a productivity coach to learn how to rethink our workday routines as we transition to spring. Here’s what they said:

theeverygirl.com/spring-work-routine-update

Time well spent: weekly roundup

1. My friend, Ellen Griley, wrote a beautiful essay, “Her Opinion Was the Only One That Mattered,” about her mother’s passing and the need for approval. I am wholeheartedly obsessed with Ellen’s writing style. I can’t seem to get enough of her words.

2. I can’t stop thinking about how Christine Tyler Hill, who took a job as a school crossing guard after years as a designer and illustrator, started a snail-mail club where she shares a monthly Cloud Report of observations as a crossing guard. And she’s making $14,000 per month from it. The world needs more unique, creative ideas like these.

3. Mini versions of anything bring me joy, including these teeny-tiny books at the V&A. Yay, miniature everything!

Your next intentional move

• Whose approval matters most in your life? Why? Are there areas where their approval conflicts with your values?

• What are some out-of-the-box ways you might use your skills and talents?

• What small things bring you disproportionate joy? How can you add more of them to your life?

Check out the full list of intentional prompts and share it with someone you love!

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know, or…

Are you thinking about starting a newsletter? Remember that done is better than perfect, so start today! beehiiv* makes it incredibly easy to take the first step.

This newsletter may include affiliate and referral links marked with an asterisk. If you click on or choose to purchase through one or more of the links below, I may receive a small commission or referral bonus.

My Papa had major beef with rap music.

Heavy swearing, frequent mentions of drugs and alcohol, and the lyrical decisions weren’t exactly his style. A cowboy at heart with a longstanding love for country classics, quiet weekends camping and fishing in the mountains, and good manners, it was unsurprising when he shared his dislike for rap and hip-hop.

I don’t remember why he told me this (nor was I willing to admit how much of a T-Pain super fan I was in high school; “Buy U A Drank” is pretty harmless though, right?), but what I’ve always carried with me is how he said something like: “What we listen to influences how we behave.”

Like all forms of consumption, what we absorb, we reflect, both subconsciously and consciously. Simultaneously, this is an effective, easy tool for grounding in what it means to live intentionally.

I’ve fallen into a fairly bland routine, for good reasons, but flavorless no less. On Tuesday, I took the afternoon off to force my mom to try bánh mì for the first time and to get a much-needed haircut, to break the monotony.

I was driving in a mindless haze when it came on. “Live & Let Go” by Quinn XCII and DISPATCH trickled through my speakers. I’d never heard it, but sometimes life (and algorithms, of course) knows what we need to hear. Within seconds, I turned the volume up and tuned in.

In particular, the lyrics jumped out at me.

10 words cut right through the noise of an ordinary Tuesday: “One day, we’ll be gone, so live and let go.”

I know that’s not a grand revelation. But it reminded me that time passes whether I’m feeling stuck in a dull routine or not. Sometimes, the right words find you at the right time, if you’re looking for them.

It reminded me of what my Papa said about music influencing our behavior. Sure, living intentionally requires some deeper inner work and reflection. But sometimes, the right lyric at the right moment is enough to slip through the noise of daily life and help us return to what matters when we don’t have endless hours to think about it.

There are quite a few songs that do this for me. So, I popped them into a Spotify playlist to share. I know the idea of knowing exactly how you want to spend your limited years (and then actually doing it) can feel overwhelming and exhausting. Sometimes, we don’t have the additional headspace to do deep heart work.

And sometimes, all you really need is for the right song to find you in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon.

If there’s a song you love that should be on this list, reply to this email, and I’ll add it!

Time well spent: weekly roundup

1. Sometimes I love social media for showing me content I might not have come across otherwise. Such is the case with Paula Rizzo’s heart-filled tribute to her late best friend, Nicole Feldman. Read, “What’s Your Legacy Work?” and check out Paula’s “What Would Nicole Do?” fundraiser in honor of Nicole for her birthday month (this month!).

2. Eric Doty shared a story in Superpath’s newsletter this week that made me sob and reiterated just how life-altering words really are, especially in life’s hardest moments. It’s a tough read, but a beautiful one I’ll be thinking about for a while. (P.S. If you work in content marketing, sign up for Superpath’s newsletter and check out the community!)

3. I enjoyed reading about Jillian Anthony’s low-key friendship experiments (pairs nicely with adult parallel play) in her recent story, “Errands instead of espresso martinis? Why low-key hangs are redefining friendship.”

Your next intentional move

• How might you honor a loved one no longer here while supporting causes that need attention?

• What’s your superpower, and how can you use it to create more good in the world?

• What are some low-key ways you can spend time with your circle?

Check out the full list of intentional prompts and share it with someone you love!

Time Intentional runs on beehiiv

I chose beehiiv because: (1) all my friends with newsletters love and swear by it, (2) the email designs I most enjoy reading come through beehiiv, (3) I wanted my newsletter to exist as a website as well, and (4) the beehiiv team is constantly dreaming up and shipping incredible features. Check it out for yourself!

What do these names have in common?

• Arnold Schwarzenegger

• Codie Sanchez

• Scott Galloway

• Colin & Samir

• Shaan Puri

• Jay Shetty

They all run their businesses on beehiiv. Newsletters, websites, digital products, and more. beehiiv is the only platform you need to take your content business to the next level.

🚨Limited time offer: Get 30% off your first 3 months on beehiiv. Just use code JOIN30 at checkout.

Start building for 30% off today.

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know, or…

This newsletter may include affiliate and referral links marked with an asterisk. If you click on or choose to purchase through one or more of the links below, I may receive a small commission or referral bonus.

As I browsed through my inbox last Thursday, the subject line for a Denver-based weekend events roundup, “tarmac stargazing, polar plunges, & kitty yoga,” caught my eye. (Emphasis on kitty yoga.)

To my surprise, I learned that a local cat café, home to several adorable, adoptable cats, was hosting a yoga class followed by cat playtime, with coffee and tea, in less than 72 hours.

Now, I am not always often not one for making last-minute plans. I bet most of my close loved ones would tell you I’m not that spontaneous. (They’re not wrong.) For many of us, living “intentionally” manifests as abiding by a planned calendar and saying “no” to protect our time for “things that matter.” It often feels like a direct opposition to impulsive, undisciplined, and reactive spontaneity.

But when cats, yoga, and coffee in my community came calling, I reached out to a fellow cat-loving friend of mine zealously and asked if she was free at 9:00 am on Sunday. Gratefully, she trusts me enough to indulge me and my wild ideas.

On Sunday morning, we met outside the cat café for kitty yoga. 90 glorious minutes spent practicing yoga and playing with cats in the coziest space with a friend. Cat tax below:

Maybe we can attribute this situation to my cat-loving impulses, but I’m willing to wager there was something bigger going on here. Spontaneity and intentional living can (and should) coexist. But there’s one critical piece you need for them to do so: your values.

Spontaneity + Values = Intentional Living

Going to kitty yoga was a no-brainer for me. Not just because there were cats involved, but because the experience aligned with many of my values: supporting my local community, friendship, presence, treating my body well, novelty, spending my money on causes I care about, and having a positive impact.

I didn’t need to assess whether this experience deserved my time and attention. I knew it did because it supported who I strive to be.

When you’re clear on what you value, spontaneous decisions can lose much of their chaotic aura, so long as you act in reflection of what you care about. Planning rigidly isn’t the same as planning intentionally. But spontaneity isn’t entirely in opposition to living intentionally, either.

Both require uncovering what matters to you (not your parents, not your boss, not societal systems) so you can spend your teeny-tiny amount of time on this planet managing your calendar and making spontaneous decisions in a way that feels good to you. That’s how you live an intentional life.

Not sure where to start? I recently refreshed the free Values Workbook I shared in an early issue of Time Intentional. And trust me, it’s gooooood! Grab it below!

My grandmother was never shy about making last-minute plans with my sister and me. I finally realized that’s because we sat at the top of her values list 😇

Time well spent: weekly roundup

• I finished reading The Life Intended* by Kristin Harmel, a novel about grief, moving on, and living a meaningful life even when the life you live isn’t always the one you intended. It’s immersive and validating in that we have to go through the things life presents us with (no matter how hard) to become the people we are.

• I worked on a deep and intentional 15 Internal Email Best Practices With Actionable Examples blog post for ContactMonkey this week. It was a project that undoubtedly put me in my element because ideas flowed naturally. It pairs internal communications expertise with psychological principles, workplace research, and practical, detailed examples.

• In “The hidden cost of letting AI make your life easier,” by Shai Tubali in Big Think, Sven Nyholm, Professor of Ethics of Artificial Intelligence at Ludwig Maximilian University of Munich, dives into a timely and critical question: “Can AI improve our lives in the way that matters most — by deepening meaning — or might it diminish meaning in ways that remain largely unexamined?”

Your next intentional move

• What parts of your life didn’t unfold the way you imagined, and what meaning have you found in them?

• What signs tell you that you’re working in alignment with your natural talents?

• What parts of life feel more meaningful precisely because they require effort or struggle?

Check out the full list of intentional prompts and share it with someone you love!

ICYMI

Enough is not a feeling | Time Intentional

The tension between living in the present and planning the future requires careful intention. Here’s how the Swedish concept of lagom reframes everything.

www.timeintentional.com/p/enough-is-not-a-feeling

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know, or…

Are you thinking about starting a newsletter? Remember that done is better than perfect, so start today! beehiiv* makes it incredibly easy to take the first step.

This newsletter may include affiliate and referral links marked with an asterisk. If you click on or choose to purchase through one or more of the links below, I may receive a small commission or referral bonus.

Happy Monday, friends! Surprised to see me on a Monday?! Well, I contemplated waiting until Sunday to tell you this, but since it’s related to Time Intentional, I’m coming to you before I post it on my social feeds throughout the week. You’re hearing this first! 🎉🎙🥳

My friend, Anna Dearmon Kornick, a time management coach, keynote speaker, author, It’s About Time Academy founder, and incredible human being, invited me to join her on her podcast, It’s About Time! We talked about defining what intentional living means, setting boundaries to protect your time, clarifying your values, and the inspiration behind Time Intentional. I hope you’ll give it a listen if you’re interested!

Your support and love of Time Intentional made this possible, so thank you! Have a wonderful week!

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know, or…

Chidi Anagonye from The Good Place always has a stomachache and a solid bout of analysis paralysis. As an ethics professor who spent his life studying how to make the right choices, he ironically became less capable of deciding. He always considered the future and would defer living in and enjoying the present if needed.

Source: GIPHY

Contrast Chidi with Eleanor Shellstrop, the notorious present-tense decision-maker, never considerate of future consequences. She didn’t agonize, and she didn’t defer—the complete and polar opposite of Chidi.

There comes a point when too much of anything is too much. For Chidi, it’s too much overthinking. For Eleanor, it’s too much present-living without consideration of her future.

But perhaps in the middle of Chidi and Eleanor, we can find a place that feels “just right,” or what Swedes refer to as “lagom.”

Translated roughly, “lagom” means “just the right amount.” According to Visit Sweden, “lagom” is about “doing things mindfully and avoiding excess,” more than doing less. It’s finding that “happy middle,” or what society touts as “living in moderation.”

What “lagom” teaches us that “moderation” often misses, though, is that active discernment is necessary for knowing and defining what “just right” actually means to us (unique to every person).

People don’t live through the lens of “just right” because “enough” is a personal definition that often goes undefined. We reach the bars that we or society sets for us, and then we move them higher. We’re far less likely to place a self-imposed ceiling of sorts because we believe we have to strive for more. But when is enough, enough?

The part I find most challenging is that practicing “lagom” requires data. It requires rigorous self-examination so that, when our gut instincts shift with our mood, circumstances, and external sources, we know where our individual bar is (and yes, it’s personal). Here’s what I mean:

• We need to know what “enough” savings for retirement means to us, so we don’t unintentionally live so frugally that we don’t enjoy the present, or postpone activities that have a time-sensitive window

• We need to know what “enough” in social plans means to us, so we can enjoy each other’s company without overdoing it

• We need to know when we have “enough” material possessions so we can prevent excessive consumption

• We need to know when we have completed “enough” work for the day, so we can ensure we don’t overwork or miss out on the world right in front of us

• We need to know what “enough” exercise, nutrition tracking, or self-optimization means to us, so we don’t turn well-being into another form of overconsumption

• We need to know what “enough” information means before making a big purchase, so we don’t fall into researching indefinitely

• We need to know what “enough” structured activity means for each child individually, to ensure they have enough time for self-discovery and play, alongside what we suggest they do

True “lagom” requires setting confines around our lives, unique to us and the season we’re in. “Everything in moderation” is vague, but “lagom,” and knowing what “just the right amount” is, can help us create space for our many values without leaning too far in one direction. It’s harder to do, but more worthwhile than living in extremes.

I can’t tell you what “enough” looks like for you, but I hope you’ll consider setting some value-aligned ceilings for yourself. And when you are in a situation teetering near one extreme, return to “lagom” until you find the place that feels “just right.”

Time well spent: weekly roundup

I’m only sharing two resources this week because they’re so good that they deserve an extra-bright spotlight! 🔦

• An internet stranger with whom I have now exchanged a few messages with (😊), Callum Macauley-Murdoch, inspired today’s topic. Business Insider published Callum’s essay, “My dad died at 56 and never made it to retirement. The 3 lessons he taught me changed my own plans and perspective,” earlier this week. It echoes many of my changed perspectives post-loss, but he expressed one of them much better than I ever could: Build a life that gives you choices. I used to hate the idea of saving for retirement. But resources of all kinds give us choices both now and in the future. It’s not either/or; it’s both.

• My brilliant friend, Rachel Bicha, defines “enough” with minimum and maximum income targets, seasonal goals, and the occasional sabbatical. Learn how she brings “lagom” to life in her freelance business in Ep. 19 of Freelance Cake. (I would also be remiss not to mention Rachel’s monthly print newsletter — yes, real snail mail!)

Your next intentional move

• How has loss or uncertainty shaped your relationship with time, money, or retirement?

• If you trusted that “enough” is truly enough, how would you design your life differently?

Check out the full list of intentional prompts and share it with someone you love!

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know, or…

Are you thinking about starting a newsletter? Remember that done is better than perfect, so start today! beehiiv* makes it incredibly easy to take the first step.

This newsletter may include affiliate and referral links marked with an asterisk. If you click on or choose to purchase through one or more of the links below, I may receive a small commission or referral bonus.

Wrapped in my mint green Minky Couture blanket with my Kindle* in hand, I melt into the couch and take a deep breath for what feels like the first time all day. Reading gives me solace and a focal point away from the endless hellscape of bad news and fear-mongering on the internet.

Only two feet away, my husband learns about everything from how to heal IT band syndrome to where to find the best wings in Denver on YouTube. Learning and choosing what information to consume helps him silence the noise of the workday and put his free time to good use.

We are not engaging with one another. We are playing in parallel. And it’s a profound act of love.

In child development, parallel play is a stage (around ages 2-4) in which children play side-by-side, often with similar toys, but without interacting, sharing, or engaging with one another. They play independently in the same area and learn to be aware of others. It’s a crucial stage for learning social skills while building independence.

And there’s something to be said for parallel play for adults, especially in an era riddled by disconnection, loneliness, isolation, and rampant cognitive exhaustion.

In conversations, I’m hearing repeatedly that energy tanks are low or, worse, fully depleted. People are canceling plans or foregoing making them altogether, spending free hours glued to screens, postponing hobbies to “someday,” and ultimately checking out. It’s hard not to. Planning and preparing for social interactions feels heavy.

But spending time intentionally with the people we love and care about most doesn’t have to look or feel a certain way. It doesn’t require polished behavior, perfect outfits, or unbroken eye contact. It doesn’t have to add more to our cognitive load when our brains feel at the brink of implosion. That’s where adult parallel play can make a difference, helping us stay connected when constant external factors make us feel otherwise.

We’ve inherited a specific idea of what “spending time together” should look like: eye contact, conversation, shared activity, and undivided attention. These expectations show up in how we talk about date nights and family dinners, and “being present.” Parallel play doesn’t fit that template. It can read, at least on the surface, as neglect or disconnection. But this belief doesn’t account for how beneficial it can be to feel close to another human being, without pressure. Parallel play reveals that intimacy and quality time contain layers that don’t require 100% effort all the time to keep the relationship alive.

Parallel play reframes connection as something that can happen in the margins of our lives: two people in the same living room, a friend on a video call while you both do different things, a day at the park where everyone engages in their own book or activity. These moments don’t always look like intentional connections according to cultural definitions, but we have access to them all the time, and they can certainly be meaningful.

Spending time intentionally doesn’t look the same in every season. We are collectively tired in a way that feels hard to name. But maybe this season isn’t about doing more together, but simply being together more. Less performance, more presence. Less doing, more being alongside. In a depleted season, it just might save us.

Time well spent: weekly roundup

1. I worked a lot this week, and when I do, I feel like my life isn’t all that interesting! (What does that say about me?) However, I co-hosted a webinar with my friend Lynn for Speakap this week on frontline communications. Despite the early-morning wake-up call, I left feeling energized and accomplished.

2. I’m back in my role as an Oliver Burkeman fan girl after reading this issue of his newsletter, The Imperfectionist: Nobody’s ever ready. If you read the whole BIG THINGS ARE HAPPENING fear-mongering piece about AI a couple of weeks ago, I encourage you to read this.

3. I’m a human, and I don’t take enough breaks, and my eyes dry from staring at my dumb little screens all the time. So one evening, I took a hot shower, put on a cozy pair of pajamas, and spread out on the couch in silence with one of these steam eye masks*. (Silence and stillness in this economy?! I know.) 10/10 would recommend.

Your next intentional move

• When your life feels “uninteresting,” what story are you telling yourself, and is it true?

• How can examining different perspectives on the same topic help you make better-informed, intentional decisions in your own life?

• When was the last time you gave your body proper rest instead of just distraction?

Check out the full list of intentional prompts and share it with someone you love!

A quick note from my friends at Morning Brew before you go…

I’ve been a Morning Brew fan for so long that I have a sheet of “Brew Votes” stickers and feel moderately confident they’re from the 2020 presidential election year. I can’t seem to verify this online, but that should tell you how long I’ve enjoyed reading Morning Brew. Check out the newsletter below!

When it all clicks.

Why does business news feel like it’s written for people who already get it?

Morning Brew changes that.

It’s a free newsletter that breaks down what’s going on in business, finance, and tech — clearly, quickly, and with enough personality to keep things interesting. The result? You don’t just skim headlines. You actually understand what’s going on.

Try it yourself and join over 4 million professionals reading daily.

Check it out

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know, or…

Are you thinking about starting a newsletter? Remember that done is better than perfect, so start today! beehiiv* makes it incredibly easy to take the first step.

This newsletter may include affiliate and referral links marked with an asterisk. If you click on or choose to purchase through one or more of the links below, I may receive a small commission or referral bonus.

My grandparents, Janet and Dale, weren’t big into traveling. They didn’t explore many unknown places, and I don’t recall hearing about many vacations aside from an occasional camping or casino trip with their best friends.

They didn’t have the money to travel. But my grandma wanted to get out and see the world.

In early 2015, my grandma decided she was finally going to go on a cruise with her best friend. From what I can recall, going on a cruise was something she always wanted to do, but like most of us with our grand hopes and dreams, she hadn’t gotten around to it yet.

The cruise-goers chose their destination and began planning their grand vacation. When we spoke on the phone about it, her voice radiated with an excitement that felt different from our conversations about our normal, daily lives. Looking back, I realize it’s because she was unleashing buried dreams. Magic emanates from deep inside our bodies when we finally tune in to what we want in life.

And then, she met an unexpected medical emergency that claimed her life. An unleashed buried dream quickly turned into something she didn’t get to do in her 62 (almost 63) years on this planet.

I live with an ever-present ache for her and the fact that she never made it to the cruise. But even brighter than the sadness in this story is the gift she left behind: a necessary reminder of the urgency to act and the permission not to wait.

Most, if not all of us, sit in a state of perpetual postponement with various dreams, desires, and wants in our lives. We wait for the perfect time, comprising the perfect amount of resources (money, time, health, life stage, courage, permission). We dangerously assume there will be some magical future point at which we can act on what we want. And sometimes there are real barriers we must consider. But more often than not, we stand in our own way.

When I find myself in perpetual postponement, I lean on a simple phrase to decide whether said postponed action is one I’m really okay with potentially never doing: Don’t wait to go on the cruise.

Now, I don’t currently have the desire to go on a cruise (convince me otherwise?), but this phrase immediately transports me into a place of examining what’s worth postponing (or not).

Maybe one of your loved ones met a similar fate and didn’t get to (fill in the blank). Or maybe you can use a dream that will motivate you to limit your postponements and (fill in your own blank). And when in doubt, you can always come back to my story and phrase to carry with you.

No matter the case, please remember:

• Waiting comes without guarantee, and we don’t know how much time we will be fortunate to get

• Ideal conditions and perfect timing live inside our minds, not in the real world

• You’ll never “feel” ready because ready is a decision you make

• There’s a difference between “not now” (strategic decisions) and “someday” (indefinite postponement) — give yourself constraints to prevent endless inaction

What better tribute to those who ran out of time than to use yours?

Every headline satisfies an opinion. Except ours.

Remember when the news was about what happened, not how to feel about it? 1440's Daily Digest is bringing that back. Every morning, they sift through 100+ sources to deliver a concise, unbiased briefing — no pundits, no paywalls, no politics. Just the facts, all in five minutes. For free.

Read the newsletter trusted by 4.5 million fact-seekers.

Time well spent and well-loved

I’m not one for the fuss of Valentine’s Day, but I won’t pass up the opportunity to thank you all for the constant love of this project. It is undoubtedly one of my greatest gifts, thanks to all of you! Even when it’s hard, even when I’m tired after writing for clients all week, even when I don’t believe my ideas are any good — I write because you tell me to keep going, something landed, or you loved the weekly topic. There’s a heck of a lot of magic in that.

P.S. I’m noodling on ways to continue making Time Intentional a well-loved corner of the internet. If there’s anything you’d like to see or would find helpful, reply and let me know! I read and respond to every email.

In case you missed it (ICYMI)

5 lessons from a death doula: Alua Arthur | Time Intentional

Read 5 life lessons from Alua Arthur’s Briefly Perfectly Human, a masterclass in understanding mortality, purpose, and living our one precious life.

www.timeintentional.com/p/5-lessons-from-a-death-doula

One thing age can’t steal | Time Intentional

When was the last time you did something for the first time? Why novelty is one thing age can’t steal, and how filling your first time jar gives life meaning.

www.timeintentional.com/p/one-thing-age-cant-steal

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know, or…

Are you thinking about starting a newsletter? Remember that done is better than perfect, so start today! beehiiv* makes it incredibly easy to take the first step.

This newsletter may include affiliate and referral links marked with an asterisk. If you click on or choose to purchase through one or more of the links below, I may receive a small commission or referral bonus.

Alua Arthur has one of the most fascinating backgrounds I’ve ever heard about, and her life’s work offers much wisdom for living intentionally.

A recovering attorney turned death doula, Arthur founded Going with Grace, a death doula training and end-of-life planning organization. Death doulas serve as guides through the dying process, both for the individual dying and for their loved ones. They work alongside medical professionals to address end-of-life tasks and to offer support as people make peace with any lingering thoughts or regrets.

I imagine the work of death doulas to be equal parts purposeful and emotionally draining. And I can’t imagine they’re paid enough to be such critical support during life’s last moments.

Nonetheless, I spent some time with Alua Arthur’s memoir, Briefly Perfectly Human: Making an Authentic Life by Getting Real About the End, over the last couple of weeks, and who better to learn from about living an intentional life than someone who repeatedly bears witness to the end?

Here are 5 life lessons from a death doula related to living more intentionally:

1. Death offers context for finding meaning in life, but defining meaning is an individual journey that requires work. We’re on this journey at the same time, but never walking the same path. You get to decide what makes life meaningful.

2. Love is the topic of contemplation for many at the end of life. Not whether one worked enough. Not whether one received enough awards and accolades. Arthur wrote, “Nearing the end of life, I have observed that people are concerned with three major questions: Who did I love? How did I love? Was I loved?”

3. Being “busy” all the time is a distraction. Never get so caught up in the daily business of living that you lose sight of the preciousness of this moment.

4. Our bodies give us information all the time. They tell us to lean in when we find something that brings us feelings of flow, ease, and wonder (in alignment). When you feel excited about something, listen. They also tell us when something isn’t working (misaligned), if we’re brave enough to pay attention.

5. Waiting comes without guarantee, so postpone wisely. For many of us, life is a series of waiting until we have more [time, money, energy, courage] to do the things we have always dreamed of. But our brains forget that future times might not arrive. Don’t delay everything, okay?

Are you doing the work to find and create meaning in your life? Are you surrounded by love and loving others? Do you fill your calendar and run around telling everyone how busy you are all the time to avoid the heart work? Is your body giving you a sign you’re ignoring? Are you postponing your one precious life?

Don’t wait until death comes knocking on your or a loved one’s door to answer these questions as I did. There’s no time like today to get started. In the wise words of Alua Arthur, we are all briefly perfectly human (emphasis on “briefly”).

In case you missed it (ICYMI)

The clock is ticking — are you playing? | Time Intentional

Professional football isn’t just for entertainment. Here’s what playing in overtime can teach us about living an intentional life.

www.timeintentional.com/p/the-clock-is-ticking-are-you-playing

Time Intentional Journaling Prompts

Whether you seek clarity, personal growth, or a deeper connection with your values, these prompts will help you explore what truly matters.

www.timeintentional.com/c/intentional-journaling-prompts

Last week’s poll: pre-event dread

In last week’s issue, I shared a secret I hate admitting: I almost always dread events and commitments when they actually arrive (no matter how excited I was about them when I signed up)—shoutout to good ol’ affective forecasting.

Thankfully, it appears I’m not alone! (And this was my most responded to poll yet, so thanks for playing.)

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know, or…

Are you thinking about starting a newsletter? Remember that done is better than perfect, so start today! beehiiv* makes it incredibly easy to take the first step.

This newsletter may include affiliate and referral links marked with an asterisk. If you click on or choose to purchase through one or more of the links below, I may receive a small commission or referral bonus.

I applied my lip liner and one spritz of my favorite perfume — a gift I always give myself when I need encouragement to leave my home — as I looked in the mirror.

As I stared at my reflection, the voice inside my head noisily questioned, “Why do you always do this to yourself, dummy? You commit to things, and when the day comes, you never want to go!”

Mirrors always reveal truths about ourselves we don’t want to see.

Deciding whether I was going to enter a full-fledged internal debate (“First, I’m not a dummy! Second, this happens to everyone, so calm down.”), I ignored my brain’s distractions and grabbed my belongings.

As I walked out the door, I told my husband, “The event is three hours long, but I won’t stay the entire time!” Another expression of a difference of opinion between past me, who committed to attending, and the current dread-filled version of me with regret.

I drove only two to three miles per hour above the speed limit the entire way to my destination to drag out the process further. Upon arrival, I threw my car into park, popped a piece of gum in my mouth, pretended it was necessary to check my email — ahem — procrastinated, and finally mustered up the courage to go inside.

And when I did, all the negative thoughts vanished. My shoulders and jaw relaxed. A natural smile painted my face. Nervousness immediately transformed into excitement as I reconnected with friends old and new.

And over the course of the three-hour-long event, guess how many times I looked for a clock so I could plan my escape route?

Exactly zero. I stayed until the end, and the hours passed so quickly that by the time I returned to my car, I only wished we had more of them.

Come to find out, I’m bad at affective forecasting, and you probably are too.

Affective forecasting is the prediction of our future emotional state in terms of intensity, duration, and value (positive/negative). There’s a lot of room for error. We are notoriously bad at predicting how we will feel in the future.

When an event is far away, I believe future me will be as excited as I am when I commit. And then it’s not uncommon for me to overestimate how [boring/uninteresting/draining/uncomfortable/anxiety-inducing] the event will be, only to have the time of my life most of the time. (Related: read more about impact bias.)

We can’t eliminate affective forecasting errors, but there are things we can do to loosen its grip and enjoy ourselves:

• Remind yourself that we all suck at affective forecasting. This is normal! You are not alone! But there’s a good reason a past version of you committed to doing this thing, so remember that.

• Tell yourself you can’t decide how you feel about the event until you actually experience it. Maybe the event really will be [insert negative adjective here], but give it a chance. Resist forming an opinion until you are present in the moment.

• Get really damn good at knowing what experiences you enjoy. There’s a balance here between knowing yourself and staying open-minded, but you don’t have to say “yes” to things that you know aren’t a fit for you. And you don’t have to like everything, either. The more you know who you are, what you care about, and what you value, the easier it is to commit to events and experiences you are more likely to enjoy.

We are not flawed for misreading our future feelings. Our minds don’t always skew in our favor in accurately predicting joy, satisfaction, and pleasant emotions. When we accept the limits of our emotional foresight with humility rather than self-criticism, we permit ourselves to lean into the duality of our feelings. And often, on the other side of that reluctance, we find a world filled with enjoyment, presence, fun, meaning, and the realization that we are likely exactly where we need to be.

And when in doubt, I always remember a piece of advice my Papa shared with me as he prepared for something work-related he was nervous about: Nothing is ever as bad as it seems in our minds. So far, Papa has always been right 🧡

Time well spent: weekly roundup

• I met Alex Dobrenko, writer of Both Are True, through Lex Roman’s Legends community subscription last year. You know I love writers who are raw, relatable, and funny (I wish I were funnier?!), and Alex is these things. I loved his recent piece: do i secretly love all the things i hate?

• I’m currently reading Briefly Perfectly Human*, a beautifully written and emotionally raw memoir by a lawyer-turned-widely known death doula, Alua Arthur. Arthur’s life story, death doula work (Going with Grace), and insight into living an authentic and fulfilling life are truly transformative.

• Swap your doomscrolling for this bright and interactive read: 24 Simple Secrets to a Healthier Life. The last tip is, unsurprisingly, one of my favorites.

Your next intentional move

• How might embracing your contradictions help you understand yourself more honestly?

• How might embracing both the beauty and fragility of life help you show up more authentically?

• What kinds of content leave you feeling lighter, calmer, or more hopeful?

Check out the full list of intentional prompts and share it with someone you love!

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know, or buy me a coffee! ☕

Are you thinking about starting a newsletter? Remember that done is better than perfect, so start today! beehiiv* makes it incredibly easy to take the first step.

This newsletter may include affiliate and referral links marked with an asterisk. If you click on or choose to purchase through one or more of the links below, I may receive a small commission or referral bonus.

I looked down at my gloves and rocked back and forth on my feet. When I lifted my head, the stadium lit up with a warm orange glow—deep breath in, deep breath out.

Fans stomped their feet, raised their voices, and banged on the backs of their stadium seats. Inevitably, I held my breath (on more than one occasion). With just under a minute left in the game, the Buffalo Bills relentlessly shoved their way downfield, attempting to beat the Denver Broncos in the divisional round.

With seconds to go, Josh Allen launched toward the end zone, coming up short with three incompletions. Matt Prater lined up for a 50-yard game-tying field goal. I clenched my teeth as my heart rate spiked. And then I held my breath and considered closing my eyes. And the silence of 76,000+ fans told me everything I needed to know — the end was near, but we hadn’t met it yet.

The Denver Broncos took the opening kickoff of overtime. The crowd roared with hope and enthusiasm, but Buffalo forced Denver to punt before long. A rollercoaster of emotional highs and lows swept through the stadium. Belief and fear coexisted. Excitement and disappointment arrived in tandem.

The Buffalo Bills played their hearts out. I screamed my lungs out. And just when we thought closing time was upon us, Ja’Quan McMillian intercepted the ball (sparking controversy), giving the Denver Broncos another shot.

The Broncos wanted to reach field goal range. I wanted to rest my vocal cords, find some water, and decompress in the silence of my home after an emotionally exhausting yet fully present few hours (after a win, of course).

Bo Nix moved the ball downfield. I don’t recall most of the details. And then, the Broncos reached field goal range. There are moments when time stands still, and this was one of them. Will Lutz’s 23-yard field goal secured the overtime win and a spot in the AFC Championship.

I jumped up and down and shot my hands up to give and receive high-fives. We cheered until our voices nearly disappeared. People looked at each other as if to say, “Did you just see what I saw?! We did it!” because, despite believing our eyes, sometimes the outcome of a story, no matter how much you want it, feels unbelievable.

Now, there’s undoubtedly much to cover here around spending time well, from football fandom driving social cohesion to engrossing oneself with what’s directly in front of them and being present. (Doesn’t studying sports fans sound fun?)

But I can’t stop thinking about how in overtime, teams can’t run out the clock. They have to play to win before the final whistle blows. Overtime demands intention. Aggression. Belief. Bravery. Playing in overtime looks a lot like living your life intentionally.

Too many of us wake up every day and try to run out the clock. Our comfort zones box us in, while our routines help us “get through each day” to reach the “more enjoyable” ones more quickly.

But in overtime, there’s no scoreboard advantage to protect. There are no future quarters to plan for and hide in. And certainly no time for plays that leave the team saying, “Let’s just get through this one.”

In overtime, players have to:

• Take intentional steps to move the ball downfield, one play at a time

• Lean into knowing that failure is a potential outcome, but so is regretting not trying

• Take bold, brave action, despite time feeling thin

In overtime (and life), the goal is not to run out the clock. You win by choosing to go for it while the clock is still ticking by pausing and reflecting on what steps you need to take to make progress. By acknowledging that not all outcomes are positive, but that doesn’t make them any less significant. And by uncovering your bravest, boldest self as the clock ticks. Maybe we have something to learn from football after all.

😇 I wish my Broncos-loving grandparents, Janet and Dale, were here to see that ending. I know my grandma would love reading this issue, too.

Time well spent: weekly roundup

• Maybe it’s because I’m fresh off of reading The Correspondent by Virginia Evans* (recommended to me by Time Intentional reader, Rachel, who received the recommendation to read it from Time Intentional reader, Kara — I love trains like this!), but I am hot on replying to emails right now and starting correspondence. I’m sending thank-you notes, “I loved this” messages, asking questions, and sending recommendations. This is how we stay connected in a disconnected world.

• One of my Pure Barre teachers, Alexa, lost her sister, Waleska, in December 2020. Alexa, her mother, and her sister created a therapeutic coloring book, the heART book, inspired by Waleska’s story. If you want to support a heartfelt, legacy-centric project, please check it out.

Your next intentional move

• What role does intentional correspondence play in nurturing your relationships?

• How can supporting others’ healing work become part of your own intentional living?

Check out the full list of intentional prompts and share it with someone you love!

With gratitude

Thank you to everyone who has supported me on Buy Me a Coffee, clicked on an ad, or used my affiliate links! Your support funds my beehiiv subscription, Time Intentional merch (like the sticker pack), and giveaway prizes. It also motivates me to keep going (and I grab a coffee or matcha here and there to fuel my writing sessions!).

• A special thank you to Alyssa W. for supporting me on Buy Me a Coffee last week!

• Thank you to my internet friend, Daniel K., for supporting Time Intentional on LinkedIn. (By the way, Dan is an author! He wrote The Perfect Home* — read my review — and has another book coming out later this year, Don’t Look Away*.)

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know, or buy me a coffee! ☕

Are you thinking about starting a newsletter? Remember that done is better than perfect, so start today! beehiiv* makes it incredibly easy to take the first step.

This newsletter may include affiliate and referral links marked with an asterisk. If you click on or choose to purchase through one or more of the links below, I may receive a small commission or referral bonus.

Inch by inch, I set one foot in front of the other. My breathing picked up. “Am I breathing loudly?” I thought to myself. “I hate when I pass other runners breathing embarrassingly loudly.” 2 miles down, 2 more to go.

I glanced down at my new running shoes for a moment of appreciation as my feet continued moving across the pavement. Heading south, the sun snuck under my hat’s bill and warmed my face. 3 miles down. “Am I going to make it?”

I kept running at a surprisingly consistent pace. Tiredness and heaviness settled in, but I had no intention of giving up. 3.25 miles. A big, deep breath. 3.5 miles. Thup, thup, thup along the pavement. 3.75 miles. Almost there. 3.8 miles. Almost home. 3.9 miles. “You’re actually doing the damn thing!” 4 miles.

For the first time in my life, I ran 4 miles this week. But the running isn’t the point (although, as someone who couldn’t run more than a quarter mile without hunching over in sheer agony previously, I am proud).

It’s a moment and a memory I’ll remember vividly, and one I can add to my first-time jar. Because I went on a 4-mile run for the first time this week, I’ll never get to re-live the first-time experience again.

When we’re young, we experience firsts all the time. Childhood is dense with these moments because everything is new. And of course, as we age, the number of completely novel experiences available to us decreases. But our capacity and ability to enjoy and welcome novelty doesn’t have to.

The novelty effect is a psychological phenomenon in which new experiences slow down our perception of time, leading to heightened awareness and stronger memories. It’s the reason I can describe my run in vivid detail.

And despite the number of novel experiences available to us decreasing as we age (hello, routines), there are far more of them than we realize when we truly look for them. My week was full of them. I received and held a physical copy of Freelancer Magazine featuring a column I wrote (see it digitally here), watched People We Meet on Vacation, facilitated a small-group discussion at a local coffee shop, and met a Time Intentional reader in person (one whom I didn’t know before starting this newsletter!). I’ll never forget it, Brenda!

I’ll never experience the joy of seeing my name in a print magazine for the first time again, but I’ll also never forget how special the column is because of that. I’ll likely watch People We Meet on Vacation again, many times, in fact. And what I would give to watch the scene where Alex quietly whispers, “No,” in Poppy’s ear when she asks him to zip her dress (IYKYK). I can’t experience how uniquely wonderful my first coffee shop conversation facilitation was, but I hope to do more of them. And Brenda will forever hold a special place in my Time Intentional journey as the first reader I met IRL who I didn’t already know.

Novelty is where we find meaning. It’s in these spaces that we expand (and learn about ourselves), lose time to living, and become active participants in the minuscule timeline of our existence. If time is not a resource and is an experience, what better way to truly lean in than to fill your life with first times? (Related, isn’t that what often makes vacationing so magical when visiting somewhere new for the first time?)

The one thing age can’t steal is your ability to add more first times to your life. If the answer to the question, “When was the last time you did something for the first time?” is “I can’t remember,” “I’m unsure,” or “It’s been a while,” it’s time to fill your first-time jar.

Time well spent: weekly roundup

• I went to UPS to print handouts for the conversation I facilitated this week. Upon realizing what I was printing, the worker helping me ran from the printer to the front desk to ask if it’d be helpful if she stapled the handouts for me, smiling. She genuinely wanted to be as helpful as possible. It was a tiny, yet meaningful gesture. Earlier in the day, I was frustrated that I couldn’t order prints online anymore, only to show up and remember that a little human interaction can make a big impact.

• I bookmarked The 5-Day Brain Health Challenge from The New York Times because it seems like it might be an intentional use of Internet time and a fun way to learn about brain health beyond reading about it. Anyone want to do it with me?!

• Simone Stolzoff, a journalist, author, speaker, and one of the most likable human beings, is publishing his second book, How to Not Know: The Value of Uncertainty in a World That Demands Answers*, this spring. I preordered my copy and encourage you all to check it out!

Your next intentional move

• What tiny gestures of care or helpfulness do you notice when you slow down enough to see them?

• How can you design your internet habits to support your well-being rather than drain it?

• How might your life change if you viewed uncertainty as a strength rather than a flaw?

Check out the full list of intentional prompts and share it with someone you love!

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know or buying me a coffee! ☕

Are you thinking about starting a newsletter? Remember that done is better than perfect, so start today! beehiiv* makes it incredibly easy to take the first step.

This newsletter may include affiliate and referral links marked with an asterisk. If you click on or choose to purchase through one or more of the links below, I may receive a small commission or referral bonus.

According to Oliver Burkeman, British author and journalist, “Assuming you live to be eighty, you’ll have had about four thousand weeks.”

I spent 1 out of 4,000 of mine finally curling up with his New York Times bestseller, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals* while “returning to real life” after taking two weeks off for the holidays, creating a near-perfect existential contemplation cocktail.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, there’s a lot I loved about Burkeman’s insights on time management, drawing on insights from philosophers, psychologists, spiritual teachers, and his own productivity-obsessed experience. In fact, as I cruised my way through the book, there were multiple points at which I cheerfully exclaimed, “I wrote about something similar in Time Intentional!” (The cost of convenience, the notion of the “last time,” and the trouble with traditional time management strategies, to name a few.)

And Burkeman might have even altered my perception of time.

I’ve always viewed time as a finite resource. It runs out, and we only get so much. Unlike money, we can’t just earn or gain more of it whenever we want, because time doesn’t work that way. It’s a common comparison, and one I even promote.

There are other vital non-monetary resources, too: energy, attention, health, relationships, knowledge, natural resources for survival, and the list goes on.

But perhaps I’m looking at it all wrong: maybe time isn’t a resource at all; it’s an experience.

This is precisely why Time Intentional exists, and I couldn’t have said this better myself.

Source: Bookshop.org*

We can optimize, manage, and even gain more of most of our resources. There are limitations and constraints, of course. (Wouldn’t it be nice if there were an infinite supply of these things?)

And we treat time as a resource, as if it were something we can produce, optimize, accumulate, and manage. But time is not a resource at all.

Time is an experience. When we think about time as a resource, we:

• use time

• spend time

• waste time

• save time

• optimize time

• manage time

When we think of time as a resource, we ask, “How do I get more of it?” knowing it’s impossible to generate more of it. Because time doesn’t belong to me, nor does it belong to you. You can’t stop time from passing. It is not a resource that requires optimization, management, saving, or wise use. It’s nothing more than something we experience, outside of our human control.

Maybe it’s merely nothing more than a matter of semantics, but one thing is for sure: so far, thinking about time as nothing more than what I’m experiencing is a hell of a lot more freeing than believing that time is something I’m “wasting” or “need to find more of.”

1-year celebration giveaway winners

Thank you for celebrating one year of Time Intentional with me! And congratulations to the giveaway prize winners below!

Source: GIPHY

Please email me your best mailing address so I can send your prize your way:

• Lucy N. — One book (your choice) from the Time Intentional book list on Bookshop

• Lauren P. — One Duncan & Stone Paper Co. Legacy Journal*

• Bree D. — One The Live Your Values Deck pack*

• Megan G. — One Let’s Get Closer: Table Talk deck*

Time well spent: weekly roundup

• Years ago, I volunteered with The Admin Awards and worked closely with the incredible Sunny Nunan. Sunny created the program in honor of her mother, Jeannette Marie Castellano, and her career as an executive secretary. Jeannette recently passed away, and Sunny wrote one of the most beautiful tributes I’ve ever read. Always thank your admins in honor of Jeannette.

• I recently learned about Life Story Club, a program that hosts weekly virtual social clubs for older adults over the phone or Zoom to foster connection, belonging, and purpose. Read about the power of the StoryRX initiative.

• I’ve rebuilt a regular reading habit, an activity I’ve always loved but didn’t always prioritize, and I am so dang proud. I reflected on the books I read last year and even made up some accolades to give out. FUN!

Your next intentional move

• Who in your life or workplace quietly makes things run smoothly, and how can you intentionally show your appreciation for them?

• How can you be more intentional about nurturing community, especially across different life stages?

• What’s a habit you’ve rebuilt or want to rebuild, and how could you make it a little more fun or magical?

Check out the full list of intentional prompts and share it with someone you love!

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know or buying me a coffee! ☕

Are you thinking about starting a newsletter? Remember that done is better than perfect, so start today! beehiiv* makes it incredibly easy to take the first step.

This newsletter may include affiliate and referral links marked with an asterisk. If you click on or choose to purchase through one or more of the links below, I may receive a small commission or referral bonus.

I can’t believe I’m typing this, but this issue marks one full year — yes, 52 straight weeks — of Time Intentional!

Time Intentional is one of, if not the most, meaningful projects I’ve ever brought to life. It’s given me gracious readers and unforgettable inbox conversations, a space to honor the impact of my beloved grandparents while passing that impact on to others, and the freedom to explore life’s most challenging topics (mortality, legacy, time finitude, value alignment, grief, etc.). And perhaps most importantly, it always feels like time well spent. There’s a unique sort of self-worth that comes from creating something of your own, running with it, and most importantly, sticking to it. (I encourage you to start something of your own at least once!)

So far, we’ve explored topics like:

• Why uncovering your values is critical for building a life that allows you to spend time intentionally

• How to shape your legacy through little legacy builders (because legacy-building doesn’t always need to be flashy)

• Chronos and Kairos, and how we might invite more Kairos into our lives

• Monochronic vs. polychronic time, and why a hybrid approach would better suit living intentionally

• How to move through liminal spaces meaningfully to help you inch closer to where you want to be

A handful of you shared your best advice with the Time Intentional community. So many of you have supported my time and work via Buy Me a Coffee. We’re creating one of the most extensive lists of intentional journaling prompts to help more people reflect on how to spend their limited time in ways that matter to them. And we’re building a bookstore for Time Intentional readers on Bookshop with recommendations to inspire. (By the way, all Time Intentional readers can contribute to this list! Reply to any issue with your suggestions.) Plus, a few of you received exclusive Time Intentional stickers for referring your friends to subscribe (and I hope you love them!).

Time Intentional made guest appearances in a handful of newsletters, received shout-outs and tags on social media, and, one day this summer, while we were paddleboarding, one of my friends even marketed Time Intentional to the rest of our friend group 😂

The work doesn’t end here. Time Intentional will continue to evolve. I don’t have it all planned out, but I know I can’t think of a better way to celebrate and remember the lives of my grandparents, Janet, Dale, and John.

In loving memory of Janet, Dale, and John

Through my loved ones, life constantly reminds me that working hard and waiting until retirement (or until you have enough time, energy, or resources) to live the life you truly want can lead to unfulfilled desires. And I can’t help but feel that I’ve experienced the losses I have so that I can use the pain, love, and lessons to help others make intentional choices that allow them to live without regrets.

Time is finite and fleeting. Tomorrow might not arrive, so it’s up to us to be intentional with our time. Thank you for spending yours with me.

Your favorite issues from the last 52 weeks

Here are your favorite issues from Time Intentional’s first year:

Monochronic vs. polychronic: why not both? | Time Intentional

Explore the tension between monochronic and polychronic time perspectives. This hybrid approach to living balances productivity with presence and purpose.

www.timeintentional.com/p/monochronic-vs-polychronic-why-not-both

The last time exercise | Time Intentional

Embrace the power of being fully present during life's fleeting moments, and learn how recognizing the "last time" can transform your perspective.

www.timeintentional.com/p/the-last-time-exercise

78 summers and seasonal impermanence | Time Intentional

Explore the fleeting nature of summer and life through a poignant reflection on our limited summers, inviting mindful appreciation of each precious moment.

www.timeintentional.com/p/78-summers-and-seasonal-impermanence

1-year celebration giveaway

Thank you for supporting Time Intentional through ads, affiliate links, and Buy Me a Coffee! Because of your generosity, I’m giving away a few prizes to celebrate!

To enter, reply to this email by next Sunday. Any note will do! (Tell me which prize you are most interested in, and I’ll see what I can do if you win!) I’ll share the winners in next week’s issue.

Here’s what’s up for grabs:

• One book (your choice) from the Time Intentional book list on Bookshop

• One Duncan & Stone Paper Co. Legacy Journal

• One The Live Your Values Deck pack

• One Let’s Get Closer: Table Talk deck

(And if we’re not able to work out one of these prizes because of shipping, we’ll work something else out — I promise!)

Time well spent: weekly roundup

• As someone who experiences heightened anxiety around NYE (another year gone is another year without my loved ones), I can’t stop listening to Anderson Cooper’s heartfelt NYE message about grief. Absolutely beautiful.

• If you’re guilty of the “someday” trap (spoiler alert: we all are), you might enjoy #209 of Justin Welsh’s The Saturday Solopreneur: The one question I’ve been dodging for years.

• Read “‘Exquisite Aliveness’: 5 Tips for Finding or Renewing Your Sense of Purpose (and Why It Matters for Your Health)” if you need a boost and a few fresh ideas for tuning into what matters.

Your next intentional move

• What feelings are you experiencing that could use your acknowledgement?

• If you stopped waiting for the perfect time, what small step could you take toward what you want?

• How might reconnecting with purpose look less like a significant overhaul and more like small, attentive choices?

Check out the full list of intentional prompts and share it with someone you love!

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know or buying me a coffee! ☕

Are you thinking about starting a newsletter? Remember that done is better than perfect, so start today! beehiiv* makes it incredibly easy to take the first step.

This newsletter may include affiliate and referral links marked with an asterisk. If you click on or choose to purchase through one or more of the links below, I may receive a small commission or referral bonus.

The week between Christmas and New Year’s is bizarre, isn’t it? Holiday celebration exhaustion is heavy. For some, there are random workdays in between holidays. Others wake up not having a clue what day it is. Add a general sense of anticipation for a new chapter, and a weeklong wait for the “new start.” Time feels slow and distorted in this liminal space.

A lot of advice floats around this time of year: Rest and recharge! Hustle and set your goals for the new year! Find time for both! Set your New Year’s resolutions!

I’m not one for prescriptive ways of doing things, nor do I believe you have to wait on the calendar to change your life. I don’t set New Year’s resolutions because 365 days is a LOT of time. You can set a goal at the beginning of the year and have to walk a different course because life happens and things change.

New Year’s resolutions just don’t work for me. But I want to share an approach I loosely followed last year to strengthen my habits and lean into my values, despite the year unfolding differently than expected.

Year-end typically presents days and obligations that differ from our usual — holiday celebrations, travel, commitments with loved ones, mornings without alarm clocks, disrupted children’s sleep schedules, late evenings, parties, etc. Some of these changes feel within our control (we happily agree to plans), and others feel thrust upon us (we feel obligated to attend).

For the sake of the exercise, we want to focus primarily on the activities we willingly agree to or feel excited about (however, forced plans can show you where you have value misalignment, too). We want to understand how we behave when our usual structure loosens. We want to find the patterns of behavior, care, and attention that emerge during this in-between time — that’s your liminal (in-between/transitional) conduct (behavior).

Liminal conduct reveals our defaults and desires. And when we pay attention to how we show up in these moments, sometimes we uncover values we’re burying and can create more space for them in our daily lives.

And the behaviors you notice during moments of liminal conduct just might be exactly what you want more of in your life next year, without setting a hard-to-reach New Year’s resolution.

Here’s what I mean:

• Last year during the holiday break, I read four books. I realized how much I wanted to build my reading habit. So, I prioritized reading this year and read 58 books (and counting) without a “hard” reading goal.

• I crafted a vision board collage with magazine clippings and journaled. So, I created an ongoing creative outlet to fill my creative need throughout the year — you’re reading it!

• I didn’t sign up for fitness classes and enjoyed walks around our neighborhood instead, enjoying the slower pace, outdoor time with my husband, and health (physical/mental) benefits. I’ve walked 279.9 miles this year (not including runs and hikes).

These were just a few areas I noticed that showed up for me, but liminal conduct stretches across various axes of our lives. You might ask yourself:

• How do I respond to unscheduled or undefined time? What am I spending time on? What might that reveal about what I value?

• Where does my attention drift when nothing demands it?

• Do I speed up or slow down when obligations disappear?

• What do my body and mind ask for during in-between moments?

• How do I behave when no one expects anything from me?

• What activities am I craving or excited about, big or small?

Liminal conduct is about observation and not judgment. The goal is simply to notice who you are when no one is telling you who to be. What do you truly want to do with your free time? What’s lighting you up, even if only in a small way? Is your inner self telling you something you should pay attention to?

You don’t have to set New Year’s resolutions and goals across every facet of your life if you don’t want to. Sometimes, your liminal conduct offers enough information to help you guide a habit-building practice, which can be more sustainable in the long haul. Don’t feel pressured to show up or act a certain way this time of year — let it be weird 👽

Time well spent: weekly roundup

• I listened to Ep 384: What Should I Read for a Deeper New Year? of Deep Questions with Cal Newport. Cal offers six book recommendations for a deeper new year that aren’t from the self-help genre. I’m adding some of these to my list!

• Melissa Kirsch shared the best advice readers of The Morning (The New York Times) received this year. My favorite: Good conversations have lots of doorknobs. — Samantha Good, Portland, Ore.

• If you’re deep cleaning your home before the New Year, you might be interested in learning about the Japanese year-end tradition Ōsōji, which means “Great Cleaning.” (Related, I spoke with professional organizers for Business Insider and asked them what we should get rid of this time of year.)

Your next intentional move

• If you pursued building a deeper life, what would you spend more time learning about or exploring?

• What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received? How can you apply it in your life?

• What might making physical and emotional space allow you to welcome in the months ahead?

Check out the full list of intentional prompts and share it with someone you love!

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know or buying me a coffee! ☕

Are you thinking about starting a newsletter? Remember that done is better than perfect, so start today! beehiiv* makes it incredibly easy to take the first step.

This newsletter may include affiliate and referral links marked with an asterisk. If you click on or choose to purchase through one or more of the links below, I may receive a small commission or referral bonus.

This time of year presents a paradox far too many of us (myself included) find ourselves caught up in: the desire to show up intentionally and spend limited time however and with whomever we want, and a cacophony of never-ending to-dos, holiday events, unfinished work projects, gift-buying shopping trips, and commitments we may (but probably don’t) want.

We fill calendars to the brim, squeezing every drop out of the holiday season, only to find it’s here and gone in the blink of an eye.

It’s a weird and sacred place where the joy of the season and the sadness of its quick passing often coexist. And it reminds me of a scene from a children’s movie I steer clear of because, despite knowing how it ends, I still feel heartbroken every time I watch it.

In Frosty the Snowman (1969), an American animated Christmas classic, a child named Karen works tirelessly to help Frosty, a magical snowman, get to the North Pole before he melts.

During their journey, Frosty brings Karen into a greenhouse to warm her up after she catches a cold. The mean magician Professor Hinkle locks them inside, and Frosty melts, breaking Karen’s heart in one of television’s most gut-wrenching displays of impermanence.

Source: GIPHY

The end of the year feels like building a Frosty. The holiday season is finite and won’t last forever, and will soon melt away. We put up decorations knowing we’ll take them down soon. We are excited to gather with loved ones, knowing we will disperse shortly after and resume “normal” life.

There’s a Japanese concept I love that describes the space where these feelings coexist, one I hold dear especially during the holiday season:

Mono no aware (物の哀れ)

The 18th-century Japanese scholar Motoori Norinaga coined mono no aware to describe The Tale of Genji. Mono no aware translates to “the pathos of things,” also said as “the beauty of things passing,” and “sensitivity of things.”

Stephan Joppich wrote of mono no aware, “As an emotion, it falls somewhere between sorrow and serenity. And so, to feel mono no aware is to experience impermanence, the inevitability of change, and the tranquility of transience—often all these things at once.”

It’s an appreciation of impermanence and a gentle sadness in knowing these moments will pass.

It’s the idea of knowing the snowman won’t last and will melt away, yet choosing to love and befriend it despite the sadness it will bring once it does.

May you hold on to mono no aware this holiday season, as the bittersweet nature of festive joy sweeps through. As time passes, hold space for the beauty of the moment alongside the gentle sadness that comes with these cherished moments ending so soon. Don’t let the endless busyness, commitments, and pressures distract you from soaking in the finiteness of this time. The beauty of this moment exists precisely because it’s temporary.

Time well spent: weekly roundup

• What 38 million obituaries reveal about how Americans define a ‘life well lived’ (The Conversation) - This is a fascinating study! Across 38 million obituaries over 30 years, words related to the value “tradition” appeared most often. Words related to the value “benevolence” (kindness) also appeared prominently. Less prevalent: values like “achievement” and “power.”

• Ten Kinds of Happiness (Merriam-Webster) - For moments when you need a word to describe joyful, deep feelings.

• What It Took to Design the First Google Santa Tracker: Halli Thorleifsson, on the project that changed his life. (The Creative Factor) - The history and lesson in courage that I didn’t know I needed. (Watch the Google Santa Tracker here!)

Your next intentional move

• When you think about a life well lived, what values would you want included in your obituary?

• Can finding the right word to describe a feeling help you experience it more?

• What would change if you trusted yourself to leap before feeling ready?

Check out the full list of intentional prompts and share it with someone you love!

A brief holiday note

I’ll be honest, all week I’ve debated whether this will be the last issue of Time Intentional until early January. And I still don’t have an answer! I love writing this newsletter every week, and I’m also trying to be intentional during the holiday break. I also want to work on the website and dream up some ideas for next year. So, I may or may not press pause. We’ll see!

In the meantime, I’m wishing you all a holiday season that feels like whatever you need in this moment, be it joy, rest, peace, fun, or something else entirely!

And with that, I’d love to send out a few snail mail cards during my downtime! Reply to this email and send me a mailing address, and I’ll put something in the mail just for you.

With gratitude

• Time Intentional is almost a year old! (How?!) Thank you truly for reading, sharing, and supporting this big ol’ piece of my heart!

Until next time

• Snag a book from the Time Intentional recommendations shop for your holiday break

• Wrap up last-minute holiday shopping with a thoughtful gift

• Pin your favorite issues of Time Intentional on Pinterest

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know or buying me a coffee! ☕

Are you thinking about starting a newsletter? Remember that done is better than perfect, so start today! beehiiv* makes it incredibly easy to take the first step.

This newsletter may include affiliate and referral links marked with an asterisk. If you click on or choose to purchase through one or more of the links below, I may receive a small commission or referral bonus.

This is the last Christmas card I received from my grandparents, Janet and Dale, before they both unexpectedly passed away the following year.

My last Christmas card from my grandparents (Christmas 2014)

It’s a keepsake I’ve loved and treasured over the years, so much so that I’ve carried it around with me, always easily accessible when I want to revisit my grandmother’s handwriting.

It’s not the only physical piece of them I have left, but it’s the most meaningful. There’s a worn, striped, patterned blanket that once sat on their couch under my bed, an Eeyore coffee mug my grandmother once used on my shelf, and a cheap lamp (like this one) I’ve tried (and failed) to let go of many times near my storage room.

As the distance between their departures and the present day widens, my attachment to these items, minus the handwritten card, shrinks little by little. They’re important to me because they belonged to my grandparents, but I may not keep them forever.

But the handwritten Christmas card from 2014 will never lose the tangible, lasting comfort and deep emotional connection it provides me in moments when I’d give anything to receive another card from them.

The value of handwritten cards and letters

Digital communication (emails, texts, even digital greeting cards) unsurprisingly dominates our technologically savvy world. The mechanisms we’ve created make it easier to reach our loved ones in just a few clicks. While digital communication offers its own benefits, our grandparents really had it all figured out: nothing provides more comfort, connection, and care (especially when someone’s gone) than a handwritten card to remember them by.

Handwriting is so profoundly personal and intentional, and handwritten cards and letters provide benefits to both the writer and recipient, including:

• Tangible links to the people we once knew: Unlike texts, emails, and other transient messages in a digital landscape, handwritten cards and letters become cherished keepsakes and treasures. The actual handwriting of another human being provides a direct, tangible link to them, something that feels even more precious when it’s a card from a loved one who is no longer physically present.

• Connections wrapped in care and love: Spending any amount of time handwriting a card or letter in a world that offers keyboards at every turn is inherently intentional. It’s time-consuming. It requires care (and might even need some deliberate planning to find the right card, paper, and pen). I don’t know about you, but whenever someone hands or sends me something they've written, I feel loved, valued, and important to them. (And I hope that’s true for anyone who receives handwritten cards from me.)

• A non-replicable personal uniqueness: Don’t get me wrong, I love a polished note, a visually appealing digital card, and the Playfair Display and Poppins font combination. But you know what I love more? Your weird handwriting quirks. The way your letters change size and shape. How your handwriting slopes up or down after writing for too long. Your misspellings, margin drawings, and most certainly, the sign-off you choose and the way you write your name. No one can ever do it quite like you.

• The mindfulness and presence required to slow down and write: Writing is hard! Writing by hand is (for many, myself included) even tougher. The process of slowly choosing stationery and sitting down to write is a stark contrast to hurried modern life. Yet, it’s an activity worth not rushing.

And a few more benefits worth noting in this piece, “The Psychology Of a Handwritten Card: How It Benefits Both The Sender And The Receiver,” by Katee Fletcher.

These are the aspects I think about when I hold the Christmas card from my grandparents: how beautifully unique my grandmother’s handwriting is, how lucky I am to have something tangible she created to keep, how much they loved me, and how intentional she was in choosing a Christmas card and writing a personalized note inside.

A handwritten card challenge for you

✍🏻 To honor her and this lasting gift, your challenge is to write a handwritten card or letter to a friend, coworker, or loved one this holiday season. Just one. (But of course, feel free to put on your overachiever hat here.)

And I want to hear about it! Reply to this email (or email me directly) and tell me all about it in as much or as little detail as you’d like.

Stationery inspo for your handwritten cards this season

From what I know about all of you, this likely isn’t a new concept, and you might even already have everything you need to do this because you do it frequently. But I rounded up a few of my favorites for anyone who needs supplies inspiration:

• If you need to pick up cards or stationery, I always recommend finding a local stationery store. (You support small artists and local businesses!) If you’re local to the Denver area, Wordshop is my favorite.

• If you’re short on time but would love to snag some holiday-themed cards, here are a few fun bulk packs:

  • Decorably Pink Christmas Cards (24 pack)*

  • Hallmark Thomas Kinkade Boxed Christmas Cards Assortment (24 pack)*

  • American Greetings Happy Moments Marshmallow Man Holiday Card (12 pack)*

  • Hallmark Peanuts Boxed Christmas Cards Assortment (16 pack)*

• And because I love pen recommendations, here are some of my favorites:

  • Pilot FriXion ColorSticks Erasable Gel Ink Pens* (colorful and erasable!)

  • Pilot G2 Premium Gel Roller Pens* (I’ll love these forever, but beware of smudging!)

  • Paper Mate Flair Felt Tip Pens* (My favorite pen + marker hybrid.)

No physical item can ever fill the void we carry when we lose someone. But I hope you always remember how much your loved ones will cherish the pieces of you that you choose to leave behind and share with them. May you always (or even occasionally) scribble messy lists, leave a handwritten note on the counter, or pour your feelings into a handwritten card.

Time well spent: weekly roundup

1. I shared a story about one of my cats, Yeti, and his experience attempting to eat celery, on Threads last weekend, and the replies brought me joy for days.

2. Do Your Family Traditions Need a Refresh? Here Are Some Signs — And Suggestions for Creating New Ones by Stephanie Friedman for Nice News - I don’t think we talk about refreshing traditions (especially holiday traditions) enough. This piece has some practical tips.

3. On the topic of holiday cards, Carolyn Clark wrote a brilliant case for work holiday cards on LinkedIn. Read it and maybe start a new tradition with your team this year.

Source: Carolyn Clark on LinkedIn

Your next intentional move

• When was the last time something simple made you laugh or smile for days? What does that tell you about what you need more of?

• How can you honor the spirit of a tradition while still allowing it to evolve?

• How might a simple, thoughtful gesture at work create a sense of belonging or celebration?

Check out the full list of intentional prompts and share it with someone you love!

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know or buying me a coffee! ☕

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