Hey, Swingist fam!

Have you ever wished you could customize exactly what you share and with whom? Well, Swingist makes it easy with some cool privacy features. Let’s dive in, and I’ll show you how to make it all work for you!

Getting to your privacy settings is super easy! Just head to the Profile Menu—you’ll find it at the window's top right corner. Click on Settings, and from there, you can tweak all your privacy options to make your Swingist experience exactly how you want it. Whether it’s adjusting your audience or blurring your face, everything is just a couple of clicks away! 😊

1. Adult Content Filter

Want to unlock all the uncensored fun? Turn on Adult Content! Now, this can only be enabled in the web version of Swingist, but once you flip the switch, you’ll be able to see uncensored content on your phone too. Easy!

2. Blur Face by Default

Not ready to reveal your face to the world? I get it! If you enable this, all your posts will automatically blur your face. But don’t worry, if you want to show off a bit, you can override this when you post. It’s your call, every time.

3. Show Face to Friends

You may want your friends to see your unblurred photos but keep everyone else in the dark. This is where Show Face to Friends comes in. Friends get the full view, while everyone else sees the blur. You can even set this as a default, but like everything else, you can change it up when posting.

4. Post Audience

Who gets to see your posts? With Post Audience, you get to choose whether your post is for “Public” (everyone on Swingist) or “Friends” only. Whether you share with the world or just your closest connections, it's up to you. And, of course, this can be set per post, depending on what you share that day!

So, go ahead and play around with these settings—make Swingist feel like your personal space!

Not a member yet? Why miss out on all the fun and connection? Join Swingist now and discover a new way to connect, share, and explore in the lifestyle community! Sign up today at swingist.com and take control of your experience! 🎉

Catch you soon,
Tommo

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Dear Swingist Community,

The swinger lifestyle is more than just exciting encounters; it’s about creating lasting connections and being part of a supportive, vibrant community. In this newsletter, we’re diving into the social side of swinging—how to build friendships and relationships extending far beyond the bedroom. Whether new to the lifestyle or looking to deepen your involvement, these tips will help you connect meaningfully.

The Importance of Social Connections in the Swinger Lifestyle

Swinging isn’t just about physical intimacy; it’s also about forming bonds with like-minded people who understand and share your lifestyle. These social connections provide a support network where you can be yourself without judgment. Whether it’s sharing experiences, offering advice, or simply enjoying each other’s company, these relationships are a cornerstone of a fulfilling lifestyle.

Robust Swingist “all-way” chat. There is no need for external chat apps!

Ways to Build Connections Beyond the Bedroom

• Participate in Lifestyle Events
  One of the best ways to meet new people and build connections is to attend lifestyle events. These gatherings, whether they’re large parties, intimate meetups, or educational workshops, offer a relaxed environment to socialize and connect. Approach new people with a smile, start conversations by finding common interests, and remember—everyone’s there for the same reason: to connect and enjoy themselves.

• Engage in Online Communities
  Online communities offer a great way to connect for those who might be new to the lifestyle or prefer a more gradual introduction. Platforms like Swingist allow you to join groups, participate in discussions, and chat with other couples from the comfort of your home. It’s a low-pressure way to build relationships that can later blossom offline.

• Host or Attend Small Group Gatherings
  Small gatherings are perfect for getting to know people on a deeper, more personal level. Whether it’s a dinner party, a game night, or a weekend getaway, these intimate settings allow for more meaningful conversations and connections. If you’re hosting, create a welcoming atmosphere and encourage open communication. If you’re attending, be open, be yourself, and enjoy the company.

• Volunteer or Join Lifestyle Clubs
  Getting involved in lifestyle-related clubs or volunteering for events can be another great way to connect. These activities offer opportunities to meet new people, but working towards a common goal strengthens bonds and can lead to long-lasting friendships.

Navigating Social Dynamics in the Swinger Community

Building social connections within the swinger community comes with its own dynamics. It’s crucial to respect boundaries and understand social cues. Clear, honest communication is key—whether you’re discussing potential sexual interests or just navigating the waters of friendship. Remember, it’s natural to face challenges, such as managing jealousy or misunderstandings. Approach these situations with empathy and a willingness to talk things through.

How Swingist Can Help You Connect

At Swingist, we’re all about fostering these connections. Our platform offers various features to help you meet and engage with others, whether it’s through our event listings, group chats, or detailed profiles. If you want to expand your social circle, there’s no better place to start.

The friendships and connections you build along the way enrich the swinger lifestyle. Whether attending events, joining online discussions, or simply reaching out to someone new, the relationships you form can last a lifetime. So, why not take the next step? Attend that event, join that group, or send that message—you never know where it might lead.

Until next time,
The Swingist Team

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Hello Swingist Community,

Today, I want to discuss a topic that has likely impacted almost everyone in the lifestyle at some point: "situational erectile dysfunction." If you haven't experienced it yet, there's a good chance you might in the future. Imagine finally getting invited to that much-anticipated house party or booking a weekend at a swingers resort. You enter the playroom, and it’s a scene straight out of your wildest fantasies. The atmosphere is electric, the excitement is palpable, and you feel more aroused than ever. Then, out of nowhere, you start to lose your erection. What’s going on? In such an erotic situation, you’d expect to be at your peak. Let me reassure you this is very common. It is so common that we even have a term for the remedy: "Swingers Insurance." Let's dive in.

Why does situational ED happen in the lifestyle? Everyone is unique, but there are some common causes. Most of us spend years focusing on one partner at a time. This creates a narrow focus, minimal distractions, and a partner who knows exactly what you need to be physically stimulated. This scenario is vastly different from an orgy or even a couple swap. Suddenly, there are new sensations and distractions—both good and bad. Thoughts flood your mind: "Is my partner having a good time?" "Am I satisfying this new play partner?" "Is my partner safe?"

On top of that, you might be overstimulated, with all your fantasies coming true at once. Add alcohol and late nights into the mix, and then try fumbling with a condom you haven't used in years. It's no wonder maintaining an erection can be challenging.

So, how do many swingers combat this issue? We use "swingers insurance," also known as ED medication. You might think, "But I don’t have ED!" Neither do I, and neither do many of our friends who take ED meds for lifestyle events. It’s insurance. Your car runs fine too, but you still buy insurance just in case something unexpected happens. It’s a safety net. There's no need to damage your ego—no one even has to know.

In an orgy or play date, there are countless factors beyond your control. Imagine 20 bodies in a room, overwhelming the air conditioning, making it super hot. You start worrying about how much you’re sweating and whether it’s off-putting to your play partner. The bed is crowded, and you’re negotiating positions. Swinging takes practice. We often think that because we’re good at sex with our spouse or partner, we’ll naturally be good at sex with multiple people. For some, that may be true, but for most, it’s not. It takes practice.

Using ED meds for swinging gives you confidence. It allows you to go multiple rounds more easily. It’s a game-changer.

Stay confident, stay safe, and enjoy the lifestyle!

Warm regards, The Swingist Team

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Why I Created Swingist

Recently, someone asked me, "Why did you start Swingist?" Great question! To answer, we need to rewind to our lifestyle journey’s beginning.

On our honeymoon, both on our second marriages, we stumbled upon the idea of visiting a "sex club." Googling led us to NYC's Premier Swingers Club. We thought “swingers? I thought that was a thing in the 70s.” Intrigued but clueless, we chickened out. The idea, however, was planted.

Fast forward a few months, we Googled "Swingers club" and found Secrets Hideaway Resort in Florida. Nervously, we booked a room. The experience was exhilarating—friendly people, natural vibes, and electrifying playrooms. We were hooked after spending five hours in the orgy bed, soaking in the sights and sounds.

The highlight? The room crawl—a mobile DJ, shots, and themed rooms. It felt like reliving my missed college years. This was our lifestyle! We joined apps, connected with local swingers, and found amazing people and parties.

But something was missing—the sense of community we felt during those room crawls. Legacy apps were great for hookups but lacked the feeling of belonging. Facebook groups filled this gap but brought their own issues—community violations and accidental outings.

Swingist has beautiful social feeds.

As a developer with 25+ years experience, I knew I could solve this. Enter Swingist: a safe, private social community for non-monogamous people. We had three guiding principles:

Community First: Unlike legacy dating apps, Swingist focuses on building a community. It’s not just about meeting new friends but sharing life beyond the bedroom.

Timeless and Classy: We aimed for a platform that lets user content shine, appealing to the jet-setters and world travelers in our community. Swingist means swinger, but with class.

Problem Solving: Swingist addresses issues like unsafe external chats and ambiguous messages. With our PartnerLink technology, couples chat safely within the app, ensuring clear and comfortable communication.

Take chat, for example. On legacy dating sites, when you find a couple you’re interested in, there's no way to get all four of you in a chat to make plans and vet each other as "real." The first question is always, "Do you have a Kik?" This always felt unsafe. Swingist solves this with our PartnerLink technology. Each person in a couple can log in from their own device. When a couple messages another couple, they are automatically in a four-way chat.

Imagine receiving a message from a hot couple on a legacy app that simply reads, "I love your profile, I'd love to…" Use your imagination and fill in the rest of that sentence. For those who are heterosexual or lean hetero, it's natural to assume flirting is coming from the opposite sex. But when a couple shares one account, it could be either partner. Regardless of your preferences, that message feels very different depending on whether it's coming from him or her.

With PartnerLink, each partner can connect on their own device and engage independently, yet they remain a couple on the app with full transparency. This clarity prevents awkward situations and enhances the flirting experience.

Find, create, and attend Lifestyle events.

Features We Love:

• Groups: Create and join interest-based groups without fear of censorship.

• All the Things: Dating, events, live video streaming, business pages, and more.

• Freedom: Swingist champions freedom and autonomy for its members. Unlike legacy dating apps that impose strict controls, Swingist allows users to upload pictures and videos without needing prior approval. Event planners can effortlessly organize public events and parties with no pre-approval required, fostering a vibrant and dynamic community where creativity and spontaneity thrive.

• Swinger oriented A.I.: Auto blur faces using our built in A.I. Or blur faces only to non-friends. “Play” at your comfort level.

• Made by Swingers for Swingers: Our team lives this life. We understand the concerns and needs, offering features like built-in face blurring for privacy.

Beautiful Profiles

Fast Iteration: Unlike competitors, we iterate daily, continually improving based on community feedback. This means quick fixes for pain points and swift implementation of good ideas.

Swingist isn’t just another app; it’s a community built by swingers for swingers, designed to enhance every aspect of our vibrant lifestyle.

If you are not yet subscribed to our newsletter and want to receive an early access invite to Swingist, you can sign up here: https://swingist.com

Are you curious about exploring the vibrant and inclusive world of swinging? Whether you're a couple looking to add excitement to your relationship or an open-minded individual eager to dive into new experiences, our free eBook, "Unlocking the Swinger Lifestyle: Essential Guide for the Curious and Open-minded," is your go-to resource.

Why Should You Read Our eBook?

1. Comprehensive Learning: Our guide is packed with valuable insights into the swinging lifestyle. You'll learn about the different types of non-monogamous relationships, how to navigate house parties and clubs, and the crucial etiquette that ensures a respectful and enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

2. Demystifying the Lingo: Swinging comes with its own set of terms and jargon. Our eBook breaks down these terms, making it easier for you to understand and participate in conversations within the community.

3. Practical Advice: From setting boundaries to effective communication, our guide provides practical advice to help you navigate your journey confidently and easily.

4. Real-life Examples: Learn from the experiences of others with real-life examples and testimonials that provide a realistic view of what you can expect.

5. Safe Exploration: We emphasize the importance of consent, communication, and mutual respect to ensure that your exploration is safe and fulfilling.

Who is This eBook For?

• Couples: Looking to add a new dimension to your relationship? Our guide will help you explore the swinging lifestyle together, enhancing your connection and intimacy.

• Open-minded Individuals: If you're curious about non-monogamy and want to explore new possibilities, this eBook is the perfect starting point.

• Swingers Community: Even if you're already part of the swinging community, our guide offers fresh insights and tips that can enhance your experience.

Get Your Free Copy Today!

Don't miss out on this opportunity to unlock a world of excitement, connection, and personal growth. Download your free copy of "Unlocking the Swinger Lifestyle: Essential Guide for the Curious and Open-minded" today and embark on your journey with confidence and knowledge.

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Dear Swingist Community,

We're thrilled to announce that our official release is just around the corner, signaling the end of our beta phase as we apply the final touches to ensure a seamless launch. Your constant support, feedback, and engagement have propelled us beyond our expectations, setting the stage for an exciting future together. As we prepare for this next step, please note that April 17, 2024, will be the last day to use the beta.

Your dedication has not only propelled us forward but has been the crucible for refining and perfecting our platform. Every test, every feedback loop has enriched the foundation, ensuring that as we transition from beta, we are stronger, more versatile, and ready to dazzle with robust features and a platform that has grown with your input.

We can't stress enough how grateful we are for your role in this journey. Your insights and enthusiasm have been the beacon guiding us to this pivotal moment. We are thrilled to advance into this new chapter with you, our valued community members, by our side.

Feature Spotlight: Innovative Direct Messaging System

Our innovative Direct Messaging System is set to redefine the way you communicate within the Swingist community. Gone are the days of relying on external messaging apps to connect with your peers. Our built-in feature seamlessly integrates into your user experience, allowing for instant, hassle-free communication. Whether it’s for dating, seeking advice, or simply sharing moments with friends, this system ensures your conversations are secure, private, and tailored to meet the dynamic needs of our vibrant community. Get ready to experience connectivity at its finest—where conversations flow smoothly, and connections grow stronger.

First Look: Behind the Curtain of Our Latest App

Home screen and timeline • Live stream

Stay tuned for early access opportunities, sneak peeks at the innovations we're rolling out, and further ways to participate in the exciting evolution of our community.

Here's to setting new benchmarks, achieving greater heights, and crafting an even brighter future—together.

With warmest thanks,

Tommo

Welcome, Open Minds!

You may have noticed an overlap between the swinger and BDSM communities. Non-monogamy is a big part of both communities, so it is not unusual for swingers to dip their toes into the kinky realm and vice versa. The world of kink and BDSM involves a lot of protocols and rules about safety and consent, which can be a little overwhelming at first. So, if you’re interested in exploring your kinkier side and want to make sure you’re doing it right, then you’re in the right place. Today, we are here to give you a beginner’s guide to BDSM safety protocols.

Let’s start with the basics: kink, fetish, BDSM…. what do all these words mean? BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline/Dominance, Submission/Sadism, and Masochism. The most popular elements of this acronym are D/s (Dominance and Submission) and S&M (Sadism and Masochism). S&M is a practice based on the giving (sadism) and receiving (masochism) of pain. D/s is focused on power exchange, meaning the submissive gives power to the Dominant. Both D/s and S&M may or may not involve bondage and discipline. It is also possible to practice a D/s power exchange that does or does not involve S&M and vice versa. Don’t worry if this all sounds confusing right now; BDSM is very complex, which is why we are writing this blog post for you.

Moving on to fetishes and kinks. A fetish is a strong and specific sexual interest in a particular object, body part, or activity that is not typically associated with sexual arousal. For a fetishist, the presence of the fetish object or body part is central to sexual satisfaction, i.e., foot fetish, latex fetish, etc. Kink, on the other hand, is a broader term that refers to unconventional or non-traditional sexual or sensual practices, interests, or fantasies. Many people use kink as an umbrella term that includes fetishes and BDSM.

So, now that you have a brief overview of the basics let’s discuss the various systems that kinky people have created to keep their practices safe. The acronyms SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual), RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink), and the 4C’s (Consent, Communication, Caution, and Continued learning) are commonly used in the kinky world. Digging deep into these acronyms is too much for now, so let’s focus on the common thread that weaves through each of them: Consent.

Consent is of paramount importance in the kinky lifestyle. Consent will be your key to a successful kinky experience because BDSM can be risky and potentially harmful if consent is not negotiated. This is why communication and education are so crucial to a consensual and safe BDSM practice. Our society doesn’t teach us how to negotiate consent in our everyday lives, so we need to teach ourselves how to converse about consent. At first, it can feel a little awkward or even challenging to negotiate consent with a loved one, a friend, or even a stranger, but like most things, the more you practice, the easier it becomes. So, let’s break down the basics of negotiating consent in a BDSM context.

First, you and your play partner(s) need to decide the type of kinky play that will be happening. Will it be a physical impact scene with whips and canes? Will it be a fetish scene based on playing with feet or wearing latex? Will it be a role-play scene, such as a strict headmistress punishing her naughty pupil? These are just a few examples of the many different kinky scenarios that are possible! Once the type of play and activities have been agreed upon, discussing each person's role in the scene is essential. Do you want to take on a dominant role? Then, ensure your play partner wants to submit to you and vice versa. Do you want to be the sadist who uses whips or other tools to give pain to your partner(s)? Then, be sure to ask if they want to receive pain and what kind of pain they want: dull “thuddy” pain, sharp “stingy” pain, etc. Lastly, it is always important to ask what role sex plays in your scene. Some BDSM practitioners don’t want sex to be involved in the scene because they are primarily interested in pain or the feeling of being controlled, for example. Other fetishists and kinksters do like sex to be involved in the scene, so it is always good to discuss what kind of sexual acts you and your play partner(s) desire to happen or not happen during the scene. The bottom line here is this: the more you know about the desires and limits of your partner before a scene, the more freedom you will have to explore kink with confidence safely!

Last but certainly not least is negotiating a safe word! Establishing and using safewords is a common practice. A safe word is a designated word or signal that, when used, immediately stops the activity. This provides a clear and effective means of communication during those hot and heavy moments when it can be hard to articulate correctly. It is helpful for a safe word to be a word or gesture that would not usually be used in a kinky scene, such as saying banana or tapping your partner three times in a row. My personal favorite is the green-yellow-red system. Green means, “This feels good; keep going.” Yellow means “Let’s slow down or take a break.” Red means “Let’s stop the scene immediately.” This color system can help keep communication clear while hormones and sensations abound.

Remember, the kinky lifestyle is full of fun and games, but communicating consent is the key to success!

Join Us

Ready to elevate your lifestyle? Connect, meet and create unforgettable experiences with like-minded individuals and couples on our exclusive platform. Step into a world of freedom, exploration, and shared passion. Don't wait – join our growing, non-monogamous community today. Your next adventure is just a click away. Sign Up Here

Already a Swingist?

Thrive in our dynamic and passionate community! We constantly evolve with fresh conversations, new members, and thrilling experiences. Don't miss out on the latest - from profiles that pique your interest to engaging threads. Embrace the fun and keep the spark alive! See what's new and find your next unforgettable experience. Check out what's new.

If you are reading this post, then you might already be practicing non-monogamy. Or perhaps you’re interested in exploring non-monogamy for the first time. Either way, welcome! The world of non-monogamy is vast and varied, full of many different kinds of people with many different preferences for relationship styles.

Sometimes, it can be a bit overwhelming to keep track of all the terms non-monogamous people use. Some people identify as swingers, some as polyamorous. Other people say they are in an open relationship without taking on a non-monogamous identity. Does this sound a bit confusing?  Don’t worry; we are here to give you a quick but comprehensive breakdown of the most popular terms people use to define their non-monogamous relationships.

So, let’s start with the basics. Non-monogamy is an umbrella term that describes a relationship style involving more than two people. This may include swinging, polyamory, open relationships, and much more. Most people who practice these relationship styles consider their relationships consensually non-monogamous. This means all the partners are aware of and consent to partaking in a non-monogamous relationship. You may hear the terms ethical non-monogamy or consensual non-monogamy used interchangeably. They both refer to non-monogamous practices rooted in openness, honesty, and consent. These include swinging, polyamory, and open relationships.

Swinging, also known as “the lifestyle”, refers to open relationships that permit sex outside of the primary relationship but not love or commitment. The primary relationship usually consists of two partners who may be married, living together, or are committed to each other. In the swinging lifestyle, partners do not usually form long-term romantic or commitment-based connections with people who are not their primary partners. Instead, they enjoy pleasure-based connections with other couples or singles that primarily center around sex as the main form of intimacy.

Polyamory, on the other hand, centers love as the primary form of intimacy. Poly is a Greek word meaning Many, and Amor is Latin for Love. Directly translated, polyamory means “many loves”. Polyamorous people tend to build and maintain multiple romantic relationships simultaneously. This means that many poly people have the capacity to be in love with more than one person at a time. Under the umbrella of polyamory, there are many categories; some include solo-poly, non-hierarchical poly/relationship anarchy, hierarchical poly, kitchen table poly, polyfidelity, and much, much more. For a comprehensive list of poly definitions, check out https://www.polydictionary.org/. There are many ways to practice polyamory, but love and commitment to more than one person at a time are the center of these relationships.

Last, but not least, we will now discuss the term “open relationship”, perhaps the most commonly used but least specific term on today’s list. An open relationship is a non-monogamous relationship that allows for multiple sexual or romantic connections. Some people don’t feel comfortable identifying as polyamorous or partaking in the swinger lifestyle, but they still practice non-monogamous relationship styles. So, these people may say they have an open relationship, which is open to interpretation and defined according to the individual needs of all involved. Polyamorous people and swingers may also use open relationships as an umbrella term to describe their relationships.

Now that you know these most common terms, let’s dig deeper into how they happen in practice. As you may have noticed by now, being in a non-monogamous relationship requires a lot of communication and honest conversations between partners. We must openly discuss our most intimate desires, fears, limits & boundaries, and more. We must negotiate, compromise, and trust beyond what may feel comfortable, strengthening our relationships.

Some of the biggest questions non-monogamous people must tackle is this: how do we decide on our relationship agreements? Who gets to decide about our relationship, and what do they decide?

These questions pose a primary distinction between swinging and polyamory. In the swinger lifestyle, it is understood that the primary partners have the most significant say over how the relationship functions. Their other sexual partners do not participate in the primary partner’s decision-making process.

In polyamory, on the other hand, relationships don’t always have two primary partners. For example, a “throuple” is a committed partnership amongst three people who may all have an equal say over how the relationship functions. Or a person who practices solo-poly may have no primary partners at all. The world of polyamory offers many different relationship structures that create the possibility for various decision-making processes.

Swinging, polyamory, and open relationships are all fantastic relationship styles that lead to the same end: consensual/ethical non-monogamous experiences. So perhaps you seek to experience the thrill and excitement of a new sexual encounter alongside your primary partner. Or maybe you prefer to build several romantic relationships simultaneously. Or maybe you want to keep things open and see how it goes. Whatever your flavor of love, it is all valid and equal under the eyes of the non-monogamy gods.

Join Us

Ready to elevate your lifestyle? Connect, meet and create unforgettable experiences with like-minded individuals and couples on our exclusive platform. Step into a world of freedom, exploration, and shared passion. Don't wait – join our growing, non-monogamous community today. Your next adventure is just a click away. Sign Up Here

Already a Swingist?

Thrive in our dynamic and passionate community! We constantly evolve with fresh conversations, new members, and thrilling experiences. Don't miss out on the latest - from profiles that pique your interest to engaging threads. Embrace the fun and keep the spark alive! See what's new and find your next unforgettable experience. Check out what's new.

Many of us enter monogamous relationships without ever thinking about it. Monogamy is generally the typical go-to relationship model. It is often central to the plot of many Rom-Coms and reality TV shows! And it is also what our families and legal institutions tend to expect from us. But maybe you never wanted to be exclusive and didn’t know other options. Or maybe monogamy felt suitable for many years, but now you have an itch to explore more?

Whatever your reason, it is entirely healthy and valid to desire an open or non-monogamous relationship. But after a lifetime of seeing monogamy represented everywhere, you might be wondering where to start. That is why we’re here to break down the transition from a monogamous to a non-monogamous relationship into five key pointers.

1 - Open and Honest Communication.

This is the first and most important pointer for open relationships. Start by being honest with yourself about your intentions and desires. It can be hard to admit that you want something that doesn’t fit the norm. And it can be even harder to communicate this desire with your partner. Don’t worry. This is usually the most challenging step. You will likely feel so much better after you open this door and step into the freedom of being open and honest with your partner about this desire.

So, find a time when you and your partner can talk without distractions or interruptions. Gently share your thoughts and feelings with your partner, and be prepared to listen to what your partner has to say. Try your best to understand each other's perspectives and support each other in being open and honest without judgment. Respect each other’s feelings, and don’t forget to remind your partner of your love for each other.

 2 - Define Your Motivations.

Clearly articulate why you are interested in opening up the relationship. Is it about exploring new connections, expanding personal growth, or addressing specific needs that aren't being met within the current relationship? Try your best to make sure your partner understands your perspective, and likewise, try to understand your partner’s perspective. Remind your partner that wanting an open relationship doesn’t mean your partner isn’t enough for you. Not blaming your partner for your desire to open up is essential. Please take responsibility for your desire by clearly expressing it and encouraging your partner to do the same.

3 - Set Boundaries and Arrange Regular Check-ins.

Establish clear and mutually agreed-upon boundaries. Discuss what is acceptable and what is not. Consider areas such as emotional connections, sexual activities, and communication with others. Do you want to enter the swinger lifestyle by exploring new sexual connections together? Do you want to explore polyamory by having romantic relationships outside of your primary relationship with your partner? Draw the line between what you are and what you are uncomfortable with each other doing. There are many ways to have an open relationship; only you and your partner can decide what is best for your relationship. The clearer the boundaries, the easier it is to establish trust (more on this in the next point). It is important to decide on these boundaries together by considering each other’s needs and feelings.

After establishing clear boundaries, schedule regular check-ins to discuss how the open relationship affects both of you. This ongoing communication is essential for addressing concerns and making adjustments as needed. Create a habit of regularly discussing how you both feel about your open relationship's boundaries. If one of you feels insecure, brainstorm ways to adjust your boundaries so that you both feel good about your relationship. 

4 - Take It Slow and Build Trust.

Transitioning to an open relationship is a process. Consider taking small steps and checking in regularly to assess both partners' feelings. Rushing into things can lead to misunderstandings and discomfort. By taking it slow, it is easier to build trust. Trust is crucial in any relationship, especially in open relationships. Be transparent about your actions and maintain trust by informing your partner of your intentions, desires, and actions. Start with small steps and be prepared for change. Understand that opening up a relationship can bring positive and challenging changes. Be prepared to adapt and be flexible as the dynamics of your relationship evolve. This will help the trust grow between you and your partner.

5 - Turn to Outside Resources.

Educate yourself by learning about different types of open relationships and the experiences of others who have made similar transitions. This can help you better understand the challenges and successes associated with open relationships. Many resources exist for open relationships, such as books, podcasts, YouTube videos, support groups, and even professional help. If necessary, don’t be afraid to seek the guidance of a relationship counselor or therapist. A professional can provide insights and facilitate discussions to support both partners. Remember, having an open relationship can be more challenging than a “normal” monogamous relationship. That is why there are so many resources out there! Needing a little outside help is healthy and normal. 

I hope these five key pointers will help you feel more confident in taking your first steps toward an open relationship. Remember, there is no “one-size-fits-all” version of non-monogamy. Every relationship is different; only you and your partner can decide what is best for you. 

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Have you noticed that women tend to explore their bisexuality more often than men? In the swinger lifestyle, women may be encouraged to explore sex with each other, but for men, it is a different story. There are still societal expectations of masculinity among straight men, which creates an atmosphere of apprehension and judgment. This kind of atmosphere significantly limits the avenues of pleasure that men can experience. This sucks, so what can we do to change it?

Education is the first step to change. It is important to understand that bisexuality is a very common and natural phenomenon. Evidence of male bisexuality goes as far back as Ancient Greece, but in 1948, bisexuality became a matter of scientific study. This is when the Kinsey Scale was created by Alfred Kinsey, who is known as “the father of the sexual revolution”, for his research on sexual fluidity. This scale ranges from 0 (exclusively heterosexual) to 6 (exclusively homosexual). In his scientific studies, Kinsey tracked the sexual behavior of his male and female participants over time. He found that most people’s sexual behavior exists between 1 and 5, meaning most people partake in bisexual experiences. From these studies, Kinsey concluded that men are just as likely as women to have bisexual desires, so why do men in the swinger lifestyle struggle so much with expressing their bisexuality?

The answer to this question is complex, but I believe it boils down to cultural stigmas around male bisexuality and stringent societal expectations of masculinity. Men who deviate from this culturally defined ideal may experience discrimination and sometimes even violence. Understandably, men might hide parts of themselves that don't fit this masculine ideal to avoid judgment or discrimination. But this habit of hiding parts of oneself limits the possibility for pleasure and the potential to lead a life driven by authentic desire. So, what can we do to create an atmosphere that is safe for men to explore their bisexual desires without fear of judgment or discrimination?

We can start by changing the way we talk about sex between men. Just because a man has sexual desires for other men does not mean that he is gay and does not mean he is any less attracted to women. It is possible to have sexual attraction to men while only being romantically and emotionally attracted to women. This is very common. Our society often conflates sexual, romantic, emotional, and even platonic attractions. Of course, it is possible to feel all these attractions for one person, but it is also possible that these attractions happen separately.

Sharing sexual intimacy with another man doesn't compromise one's masculinity. A man who is secure in his masculinity can confidently explore sexual connections with other men. However, it's important to acknowledge that hesitation in mixed-orientation experiences, especially in group settings, may stem from concerns about boundaries and unwanted advances rather than insecurities about one's sexual orientation. The ultimate liberation occurs when one can explore desires without fear of judgment. Doesn’t that sound sexy?

Talking about your sexuality in this nuanced way may help the straight or bicurious men around you feel more comfortable. Many men may fear that opening up to sexual situations with a bisexual man might get them “jumped” or somehow forced to do sexual acts that they do not desire. This shouldn’t be the case. So, it is always good to remind them that being bisexual means you CAN go both ways, not that you MUST go both ways. Just let them know you can play it straight if that is better for them while also making it clear that they can feel safe to explore their bisexuality in the heat of the moment. Be open and relaxed, and take it slow.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, men having sex with men is hot! When we strip away all of society’s judgments around man-on-man action, then we are free to explore the many splendid ways that humans can indulge in sensual pleasure with each other. Why limit the amount of sexual satisfaction we can experience? After all, aren’t we in the swinger lifestyle because of the freedom it gives us to live out our authentic desires?

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Hello Swingers!

Today, we will dive into a topic that will make the more experienced out there smile thinking back on their first experiences, and the ones new to this lifestyle listen carefully, waiting for some wisdom. How can you eliminate your initial nervousness when approaching the swinging lifestyle?

We have good news and bad. No magic spell will take all your anxiety away, but - positive news coming up! - there are several tips and tricks you and your partner can adopt to loosen up a bit before your first swinging adventure.

So, let’s dive into it!

Take it slowly

Both in bed and in life, taking it slowly is often a great idea! We frequently rush a bit too much when we get excited, but as the old saying goes, pushing the button compulsively won’t make the elevator come any faster (Am I right, girls?).

If the craziest thing you and your partner have ever done in bed was leaving the door open with your cat in the other room, you might want to go through a few intermediate steps before entering the swinging lifestyle.

Watch some swinging porn together, discuss what you would like or wouldn’t like to do with or without others, and talk to people who joined the lifestyle (Swingist can be a great place to start!).

The same goes for when you decide to take that leap of faith. You don't need to join other people immediately on your first day. For instance, you may agree with your partner that you will only play with each other initially and watch what’s happening around you. This is already outside most people’s comfort zone, so be proud of yourself.

Safewords

Sometimes, our discomfort may not be caused by the situation around us but by the fear that our partner is not enjoying the moment. Agreeing on a safe word like ‘pineapple’ to whisper in your partner’s ear if you need to take a break or if you no longer feel comfortable is an easy and quick way to communicate your feelings effectively and escape an uncomfortable situation in the fastest and most effective way.

You can also agree on a word, such as ‘cherry’, to whisper in each other's ears whenever you particularly enjoy what’s going on. We can assure you that you will never look at a basket of cherries in the same way!

Get familiar with the etiquette

Clubs are a great place to get familiar with this lifestyle without the anxiety of having to set up a date and discuss the details in advance. Getting access to a club as a single woman or a couple is straightforward. In contrast, single men may have more difficulty finding a location, giving them entry, and may even be charged extra fees.

Knowing the clubs’ rules will help you feel more in control of the situation, whether you decide to go by yourself or with a partner. These range from alcohol consumption to nakedness, where to have sex and where NOT to have sex (yeah, the bar counter may seem like a great place, but the people working behind it may think otherwise), and more. Check the club’s website to familiarize yourself with the rules, and don’t be afraid to ask once you enter.

We are all humans

Last but not least, remember, we are all humans! We all felt exactly like you’re feeling right now. A good thing to remember is that people adopting this lifestyle are often highly open-minded. There is no space for judgment and prejudices in swingers' clubs. Ultimately, you may be surprised to find yourself more at ease here than in many other ‘regular’ clubs!

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Are you a bi-curious woman who has mostly been monogamous with men? Are you a part of the swinger or non-monogamous lifestyle? Do you want to explore your sexuality with other women but do not know where to begin?

If so, you are not alone! Lots of women feel totally lost when it comes to exploring their bisexuality.

That is why I am here to help! I am a sex-positive, bisexual woman who has years of experience dating both men and women, so I know what it feels like to explore another woman’s body for the first time.

Initially, it may feel intimidating to connect intimately with another woman. That is why I break it down into these four easy steps:

Step 1: Build Connection.

Remember, she is a woman, just like you. Most of us women want to feel safe and connected to our sexual partners. Connection starts with the eyes. Be sure to make lots of eye contact with her to establish a sense of closeness between the both of you. Take the time to ask her questions and get to know her a little. Ask her what she likes or dislikes and whether she has been with another woman. This will help ease the tension and create a more relaxed atmosphere.

Step 2: Sensual Touch

Sexual pleasure starts with anticipation. Before diving into genital touch, start slowly touching the rest of her body. Take the time to appreciate her curves and the softness of her skin. Kiss her gently and let your bodies become familiar with each other’s. This will build arousal and heighten desire.

Step 3: Nips and Clits

After you are both warmed up and feeling good about each other, you can move on to the erogenous zones. Nipples are a great place to start. Massage her breasts, caress her nipples with your fingers or tongue, or even suck or nibble on her nipples. Then you can do the same with her clit. Finding the clit can be challenging at first, it is certainly smaller than a penis. Just remember where your clit is and try to find it on her. If in doubt, you can always ask her. You can rub her clit with your fingers, lick it with your tongue, or use your mouth to suck on it.

Step 4: Penetration Station

After sufficiently turning her on with the previous steps, you can explore penetrating her with your fingers or toys. When I get to this step, I always look for the G-spot. This is a spot in the vaginal canal that may feel a bit like a sponge. For many women, stimulating the G-spot and the clitoris at the same time is incredibly pleasurable. But every woman is different, so to be safe, ask what she likes the most!

Starting with these four easy steps will likely lead to the path of orgasm, but don’t forget the golden rule: Consent is Sexy. The best way to guarantee a good time is to ask what she likes and go with the flow.

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We needed a break from our busy life. Luckily, we live in Florida, where peaceful getaways are abundant. Even better, Florida offers various lifestyle retreats, like Paradise Lakes. Paradise Lakes started as a nudist resort for residents, but it has transformed into one that caters to the swinger lifestyle under new ownership. The result is a relaxing and sensual destination for a fun-filled escape.

We arrived Thursday afternoon and quickly settled in (sans clothes) by the pool. We were ready for a wonderful weekend. Later that evening, while enjoying the conversation pool, we met two attractive gentlemen who showed interest in us. Although it was still early, we were exhausted from the work week. So, after some casual chatting, we decided to take the party to one of the playrooms.

Since it was early, we had the playroom all to ourselves, which didn't bother us. The guys were thrilled to be there, and so were we. She directed them to lie on the bed and skillfully pleasured them with her mouth, taking their hard members deep into her throat. Watching her bring pleasure to these men aroused me, and I entered her from behind. She climaxed almost instantly.

The atmosphere was electric, filled with sensuality. She pulled away from me and straddled one of the guys. He moaned as her wetness enveloped his rock-hard shaft. They matched each other's rhythm, meeting every thrust with passion. She thoroughly enjoyed this experience. Then, she switched to our other guest. He possessed an impressive member. She started slowly to accommodate his size, but soon, she took him in completely, engaging in intense and pleasurable movements.

After approximately 45 minutes of enjoyment, we all reached a climax. It was an incredible first night... but it was only the beginning...

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When delving into alternative lifestyles, particularly swinging, one question always seems to be: "How did you get started?" It's a fair question and one that my partner and I are always eager to answer. Today, we invite you into our world to hear about our journey into the swinger lifestyle.

Our story isn't typical, but it's ours, and it began during our courtship. It was our second marriage, and our relationship was still young, filled with excitement and exploration.

A Weekend Getaway

Our first joint vacation was planned as a simple romantic escape: a cabin in North Georgia during winter, adorned with a hot tub, privacy, and anticipation for intimacy. Desire soon took the driver's seat with a 9-hour drive ahead of us.

About three hours into the drive, our conversation turned playful and provocative. Ideas began to flow, from rest areas to Starbucks bathrooms, but something more unique and thrilling emerged from my past experiences. I recalled video arcades and adult stores where privacy and erotic entertainment awaited.

A Risk Worth Taking

I knew suggesting this could be a turning point that could ignite passion or extinguish trust. My partner's reaction would reveal everything. But honesty and authenticity were the cornerstones of our relationship, so I shared my idea.

To my joy, she was intrigued, curious, and excited. We found a place called Tokyo Valentinos in Atlanta and decided to make a stop.

An Unexpected Experience

Entering the dark, booth-filled area, we were met with an unexpected proposition from a stranger. Embracing the atmosphere, we proceeded with our plans. That's when we discovered the glory holes, adding a new dimension to our experience.

This was a test, a moment that could either draw us closer or drive us apart. She embraced it to my immense relief and thrill, and the experience was electrifying for both of us.

The Path to Swinging

Fast forward to our honeymoon in NYC, and the memory of that day still lingered. We started researching local clubs, stumbling upon the concept of swinging. Our initial misconceptions were shattered as we found a world of modern, attractive, and elegant venues filled with people like us.

Although we didn't explore further on that trip, curiosity was ignited. We discovered Secrets Hideaway Resort in Florida, and our adventure into swinging began in earnest.

From the exhilaration of shedding our clothes at the pool to the sensory explosion in the playrooms, we embraced the lifestyle wholeheartedly. We didn't play with others that first night, but our passion and connection soared to new heights, lasting for hours on the communal bed.

Embracing the Lifestyle

That's how we entered the swinger lifestyle: curiosity to acceptance, risk-taking to intimacy. It's been an incredible journey of self-discovery, love, and connection. Now, we turn the question to you: How did you start your journey into this world? Whether it's your first time exploring or you're a seasoned swinger, we'd love to hear your story.

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Thrive in our dynamic and passionate community! We constantly evolve with fresh conversations, new members, and thrilling experiences. Don't miss out on the latest - from profiles that pique your interest to engaging threads. Embrace the fun and keep the spark alive! See what's new and find your next unforgettable experience. Check out what's new.

Hello Lovers!

In a previous post, I touched on an epic week-long stay at Secrets Hideaway Resort in Kissimmee, FL, and teased about detailing my packing process. So, here it is - the nitty-gritty on what I stash away for a weekend, from threads to adult toys, to beverages and bites.

The Packing Dilemma

This question always pops up: "What should we pack?" Here's the kicker: despite all the planning, I often find myself overpacking. At Secrets Hideaway, the atmosphere is so inviting and conducive to letting loose (and by that, I mean going naked) that I often leave in the same clothes I checked in. Besides the basics, we pack a few themed outfits and some off-the-resort wear.

Dressing For The Occasion

During weekends, Secrets Hideaway knows how to throw themed parties. Think "80's Retro Night" or "Superheroes and Villains". If you're into clubbing, it's smart to pack an outfit that's fun, sexy, and matches the theme. Not a club-goer? No sweat - plenty of folks are chilling by the pool or bars. We prepare for the club but often end up poolside with friends. The beauty of Secrets is that there's something for everyone, regardless of how you roll.

Venturing Out

Secrets Hideaway offers good grub, and you could not set foot outside if you fancy that. However, we enjoy exploring local eateries, so we usually head out for a meal at least once during my visit. The places I frequent are pretty laid-back, so a nice shirt and jeans, and a simple dress for the lady, do the trick.

Playing It Cool

There's a great restaurant right next door. It's no secret (I'll be detailing my top off-site spots in another post). Remember, even though these places are close to Secrets, they're not lifestyle venues, so pack some respectable clothes if you're venturing out of the resort.

The Drink Situation

Pre-gaming or playing host in our room requires our favorite spirits. I pick up a variety of booze and a few staple mixers. Whipping up a few cocktails is a solid move if you're entertaining. Our typical selection includes Vodka, Rum, Whiskey, and sometimes Tequila. For mixers, I go for some Zing Zang Bloody Mary mix, Coke, cranberry juice, and margarita mix—no need to overthink this, though.

Hydrate! I'm fine with the tap water at Secrets, but bottled water is more the lady's speed. If you're entertaining, bottled water is handy and considerate. Between extended physical activities, pool water, and alcohol, dehydration can sneak up on you, so keep your fluids up.

Java Lovers

Most rooms at Secrets come equipped with Keurig machines, and some have traditional coffee pots. The room descriptions usually mention what appliances you'll have. As a coffee aficionado, I bring beans. If you take half-and-half, sugar, etc., bring those too. Uncertain about the room's amenities? Give them a call.

Late-Night Fuel

Snacks can be a lifesaver when it's 3 AM and you're three hours deep into heated activities. We like to bring breakfast sandwiches or burritos. For healthier options, we pack premade salads, bananas, and oranges. The wings at Secrets are my go-to lunch, but a salad from your fridge is a good alternative if you want a healthier choice that saves some coin.

The Essentials Bag

No trip to Secrets (or any swinger resort, for that matter) would be complete without the necessities. Here's what I pack:

Water-based lube: Works with most condoms and rarely gets used.

Silicone-based lube: Perfect for pool play and other adventurous activities. Silicone lube sticks around longer, which is great for pool sex.

Flavored lube: Useful for extended sessions when oral fun is on the menu.

Condoms: Always bring your own, and make sure they fit!

Viagra/Cialis/etc.: We call this “Swinger’s Insurance”. Think of this as a failsafe. The atmosphere can be intense, especially if you're new to the swinger scene. Even with live-action, sometimes things don't go as expected. Add alcohol into the equation, and you'll be grateful for a little pick-me-up.

Remember, everyone is unique. Bring your favorite toys, accessories, food, and more. The beauty of it all is in the variety!

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Thrive in our dynamic and passionate community! We constantly evolve with fresh conversations, new members, and thrilling experiences. Don't miss out on the latest - from profiles that pique your interest to engaging threads. Embrace the fun and keep the spark alive! See what's new and find your next unforgettable experience. Check out what's new.

Hello!

The big question on everyone's lips: "How can I discuss swinging with my spouse?" What a thought-provoker, isn't it? And truth be told, the skill of broaching uncomfortable subjects stretches far beyond the swinging domain.

Consider this: "It's only awkward until it's not." Whether it's taking the reins at a new job, trying an unusual sexual position, initiating a chit-chat with an attractive stranger, or even a first date—almost all situations have a tint of discomfort initially. Yet, with practice and repetition, familiarity creeps in.

Now, if you've been sidestepping awkward talks with your partner, diving head-first into a conversation about swinging could be quite a tall order. So why not begin with a simpler conversation? Select a topic that's awkward, but not likely to stir up feelings or trigger insecurities. You wouldn't want to tell your spouse you dislike their new hairstyle—that's a surefire way to upset them.

Here's an alternative: Compliment your partner on something specific they did, which you enjoyed, and then pop the question: "Did it turn you on as much as it did me? Is there anything you'd like me to change?" See what you did there? You've not only appreciated your partner but also exposed your vulnerable side. They now have a non-threatening chance to talk about their desires. If they don't take it, that's fine too. Think of it as doing a rep at the gym.

I recently gave advice to a friend who was struggling to ask his wife to change her pubic hair grooming style without sounding critical. I suggested, "Ask her if she likes how YOU groom. Say, 'Honey, are you fond of how I've been trimming down here? Would you like me to change anything?'" Chances are, she'll share her preferences and then ask if he'd like to see any alterations on her part. This strategy is a fantastic way to foster awkward chats without making your partner feel uncomfortable or attacked.

You should initiate such conversations frequently—daily, if possible. Once you're comfortable with the formerly awkward chats, it's time to raise the stakes. Drop hints like, "Honey, I find you incredibly sexy when we make love. I can't help but think how arousing it would be to watch you with someone else, like a live erotic movie." Wait for their reaction. Don't force anything.

Once these dialogues become common, move towards the discussions you've been eager to have. Instead of revealing what you want, ask them about their desires. Ask them, "Sweetheart, our relationship is so fantastic and sensual. Have you ever fantasized about being intimate with someone else? How does that make you feel?" This kind of powerful questioning, following a period of rendering awkward talks less daunting, will make your partner feel more at ease to express their feelings.

Timing is crucial, though. Catch them off-guard after a hard day's work, or in the middle of a non-sexy chore, and you might not get the response you desire. Create the right atmosphere—a date, some wine, a cozy TV night. Sexy time could be an ideal moment too, but tread carefully. Avoid anything that might be taken as criticism, but discussing fantasies when aroused can be exciting.

Remember, your aim here is to plant a seed—no pressure, no rush. This might be a long game that might not necessarily end in swinging. Choosing this lifestyle is deeply personal and involves risk. Both partners need to be on the same page. Just discussing it can bring an exciting edge to some relationships. For others, it might lead to swinging. Either way, by learning to navigate these initially uncomfortable conversations, your bond strengthens—a win-win, regardless of your lifestyle.

Living my best life…

Tommo

Hey folks!

Secrets Hideaway Resort and Club in Kissimmee, Florida, feels almost like a second home to us. Just a stone's throw away, we often head down there for an easy, breezy weekend away. But what happens when the weekend morphs into a week-long stay? Well, folks, let me fill you in!

Often, we see this question posed: "Does Secrets tumbleweed through the weekdays?" Let me tell you – we were asking ourselves the same question when we ditched the idea of a vanilla Clearwater hotel vacation. We'd initially thought of simply hosting swinger fun back in our hotel room if the mood struck. But then, the prospect of basking poolside in our birthday suits seemed far more appealing. Besides, we'd been clocking some serious hours on Swingist and craved relaxation more than anything else. A bit of group fun? Well, that'd be the cherry on top.

Securing a cozy interior king fantasy room, we found ourselves at Secrets on a Monday afternoon, pleasantly surprised by the readiness of our room and a couple chilling at the bar. Far from desolate, the place already promised a break from our workload.

The week turned out to be a fantastic vacation, far exceeding our expectations. The resort maintained a sexual, social vibe throughout, with a surprising amount of action around the pool. Perhaps the more intimate crowd fostered a less intimidating atmosphere or maybe Lady Luck was just on our side. Regardless, the exhibitionists in us were thrilled!

The prolonged stay also eased the self-inflicted FOMO we often grapple with. We had the time to venture off-resort to revisit old haunts, indulge in local eateries (there's a future post brewing about that, folks!), and even sneak in some programming for our upcoming Swingist iOS app at a nearby coffee shop. In fact, the improved Wi-Fi at Secrets proved a boon for our remote work lifestyle, making it a viable work-cum-play destination.

While we're on the topic of food – and let me tell you, we're big food enthusiasts – I must commend Secrets' in-house restaurant. They serve up hearty, satisfying meals, with a staff that leaves no stone unturned in ensuring your comfort.

The week at Secrets held more memorable moments than can be captured in one post, so stay tuned for more tidbits from our favorite getaway spot in future posts. Until then, keep swinging!

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Hello there,

Ever pondered the question, "How can I introduce my vanilla friends to the joys of swinging?" Here's my take on it.

Let's Keep It Personal

We've all got different tastes, right? From food to fashion, and yes, even relationships. Swinging is like a tangy sauce - not everyone's cup of tea, but for those of us who like it, we can't get enough. Respect your friends' preferences, as we do our own.

Pressure? No, Thank You

Now, we've all heard that story about someone pushing their partner into the lifestyle, often fueled by a few too many drinks. Here's my two cents: Swinging is about mutual enthusiasm. It's about embarking on an adventure together, not one party dragging the other along.

A Gentle Invitation

Just like sharing your favorite restaurant or travel destination, feel free to mention swinging to your friends. If they look interested, wonderful. If not, drop the subject like a hot potato. The ball's in their court now.

Let Time Do Its Magic

Once you've extended the invite, let them mull it over. They might circle back with a flurry of questions, or decide that swinging is not for them. Either way, we respect their decision.

So, there it is. A classy, respectful way to introduce your vanilla friends to our exciting lifestyle. And remember, whether your friends join us or not, our community is always here for you, filled with like-minded individuals ready to make new connections.

Here at Swingist., we believe in promoting a safe and fun environment for all our users. Keep enjoying the journey and stay true to yourselves.

Until next time,

Tommo

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The ice breaker or "slipping into their DM" is often the first interaction a person has with a couple or single they may want to connect with in real life. First impressions are made in the DM and can make or break a potential relationship. Sadly, many swingers, especially single guys, blow it in the DM. Once the conversation becomes sour, getting it back on track is almost impossible. Here are a few tips or observations from my own experiences.

Be Respectful

If you connect with a couple you met in a social media group, always follow the group's rules. Many groups request that you ask the couple before sending them a DM.

When you send that first message, get consent. For example, "I enjoyed your profile. Would it be okay to chat?". This approach is good for you and the couple you are approaching as it gives the couple an out. Not everyone is a match! You permitted them to decline, and you aren't wasting any of your time while they decide how to let you down. If they accept, then you know there is at least some interest. Interest does not mean you are bed buddies yet, so stay cool.

Speak in a respectful and classy tone. "Imma nut in your mouth" is not respectful or classy. If the person you are messaging enjoys and speaks that way, feel free to mirror their tone. However, it's always safer to keep the conversation classy. That's not to say you can enjoy dirty talk and ensure everyone is on the same page.

Don't isolate one member of the couple without consent. It's common to see single guys approach the couple's woman and get them to talk one-on-one or not engage the other partner. This approach is acceptable in a hotwife scenario, but always ensure it's okay before you cross that line. Swingist DM makes this easy. When you DM a couple on Swingist, you are automatically chatting with both members of the couple.

⁠Once you've made it into a couple's DM, be patient—a lack of patience where most single males or couples blow it. Many swingers have busy and private lives. We have jobs, kids, vanilla social schedules, etc. Accepting a DM does not make that person the center of the universe. Getting pushy with a couple doesn't make them feel good about a potential relationship. Some couples might like pushy, but assuming they do not is much safer.

Never Out a Swinger

A big reason why we started Swingist in the first place was that there were no social media platforms for Swingers. While private groups and swinger-specific couple profiles are great, it's easy to get accidentally outed. Swingist is social media for swingers by swingers. Regardless if you are on Swingist, Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, Instagram, etc., it's never okay to out someone. So, be careful. Look three times before you make a lifestyle comment on a post. It's common to become friends and not realize that your swinger friend made a vanilla post.

Even on Swingist, some groups are private. Some people might not care if you comment on the public timeline, but it's always better to be safe. Even amongst friends, some people may want to keep particular fetishes or desires a secret.

Dick Pics

It's simple; never lead with a dick pic. Always ask first or wait until someone request it.

Privacy First

Don't break that trust if a person trusts you enough with their pictures, nude or not. Never share a photo or conversation from a DM unless a person grants permission.

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