Three Shelties. One house. Plenty of opinions.

How to Pop Out Between Your Human’s Legs

by Biscuit

Hello, pups—and the humans responsible for carrying the treats! This episode’s sheltie host here.

Today, I’m going to teach you a trick guaranteed to make people say, “Aww!” while you quietly wonder why standing between someone’s legs is considered entertainment.

It’s called Peekaboo Pup! Your pup waits several feet behind you while you face away. When you give the signal, they run toward you, pop through your legs and stop with their adorable face looking up at you.

It’s cute, it’s impressive and, most importantly, it involves snacks.

Before you begin, find a quiet room or fenced area with a non-slip surface. You’ll need plenty of small treats and a pup who is comfortable being close to your legs. If your dog seems nervous about passing underneath you, go slowly and never force them. Some dogs find human legs suspicious—and honestly, have you seen the way you people dance?

Step 1: Create the Peekaboo Position

Begin with your pup standing behind you. Spread your feet far enough apart to create a comfortable opening, then hold a treat between your knees where your pup can see and smell it.

Slowly lure your pup forward until their head and shoulders appear between your legs. When they are standing in the correct position, mark the moment with a cheerful “Yes!” and give them the treat.

At first, don’t worry about having them sit or stare lovingly into your eyes. Simply reward them for coming between your legs and staying there.

Repeat this several times until your pup willingly follows the treat into position. Keep each practice session short—about three to five minutes. We dogs learn best when lessons end before the snacks become stingy.

Step 2: Add the Look-Up

Once your pup is comfortable standing between your legs, hold the treat slightly above their nose so they tilt their head upward to look at you. The moment they look up, say “Yes!” and reward them.

Gradually ask them to hold that position for one or two seconds before receiving the treat. Over several sessions, increase the time a little. The goal is for your pup to stop between your legs and look up instead of continuing through and wandering off to investigate a dust bunny.

You may also ask your pup to sit between your legs if that is comfortable for both of you. However, standing works perfectly well—especially for larger dogs or humans with shorter legs.

Step 3: Introduce the Cue

Now choose a verbal cue. “Peekaboo!” is the obvious choice, although “Surprise!” or “Emergency Dog Delivery!” would also work.

With your pup just behind you, say “Peekaboo!” and use the treat to guide them into position. Mark and reward as soon as they arrive and look up.

After several successful repetitions, begin fading the lure. Say the cue and make the same hand motion, but keep the treat in your other hand or pocket. Reward your pup only after they reach the correct position. This teaches them to respond to the cue rather than simply following food around like Kevin follows the sound of a cheese wrapper.

Step 4: Add the Wait

Ask your pup to sit and wait. Take one small step forward, turn your back to them and say “Peekaboo!”

If they run forward and take their position, celebrate as though they have just won an international peekaboo championship. If they move before the cue, calmly reset and try again with a shorter wait or less distance.

Don’t scold them. Waiting while a human walks away is difficult—especially when that human has treats and a history of questionable decisions.

Step 5: Build the Distance

Gradually increase the distance one step at a time. Your pup should remain seated until they hear the cue, then run up, pass between your legs and stop to look at you.

If the trick begins falling apart, you have probably increased the distance too quickly. Move closer and practise where your pup was last successful. Training is not a race—unless you’re racing Cricket, in which case you’ve already lost.

Once your pup can perform reliably from about ten feet away, practise in different rooms and then outdoors in a safely enclosed area. New locations add distractions, so temporarily shorten the distance and use especially good treats.

Soon, your pup will be waiting patiently, racing toward you on cue and popping into position like a furry little professional.

And when everyone applauds, remember who deserves the credit.

The dog.

Obviously.

The Peekaboo Problem

by Kevin

Biscuit recently decided we should all learn new tricks because, according to her, “A dog with marketable skills will never go hungry.” I don’t know what marketable means, but I heard hungry, so I signed up.

The trick was called “Peekaboo.” Daddy would stand with his back to us and his legs apart. We were supposed to wait several feet away. When he called “Peekaboo!” we would run up, pop our heads between his legs and look at him.

I was very good at running and popping up. The waiting part seemed unnecessary.

“Remember, Kev,” Biscuit said. “You only go when Daddy gives the signal.”

“What thignal?”

“Peekaboo.”

“Peekaboo!” I shouted, running between her legs.

Biscuit fell over and decided I should practise with Daddy instead.

My first unscheduled peekaboo happened while Daddy was folding laundry. I raced across the bedroom and appeared between his legs. Three towels landed on my head, which I assumed was the reward.

Then came what Biscuit called “The Sandwich Incident.”

Daddy was standing at the kitchen counter holding a slice of cheese. I was about ten feet behind him—the official peekaboo distance. He had not said the cue, but I believed the cheese was signalling me privately.

I ran.

Daddy turned around just as I reached him. I shot between his legs, he spun sideways and the cheese flew into the air.

I caught it before it hit the floor.

Biscuit called it the greatest trick she had ever seen. Cricket called it predictable. Daddy called for a new family rule.

Now I am only allowed to perform Peekaboo when someone asks. Biscuit explained that doing a trick properly means listening for the cue—not launching yourself between somebody’s legs whenever food appears.

I learned that enthusiasm is good, practice is important and listening is part of every trick.

I also learned that if you accidentally create a Sandwich Incident, always stand underneath the cheese.

—Kevin— Biscuit ✔️

If you want to see Biscuit apply this level of confidence to business, here’s one of her latest video.

A word from our sponsor:

Smart starts here.

You don't have to read everything — just the right thing. 1440's daily newsletter distills the day's biggest stories from 100+ sources into one quick, 5-minute read. It's the fastest way to stay sharp, sound informed, and actually understand what's happening in the world. Join 4.5 million readers who start their day the smart way.

Join for free today!

Before you go…

Cartoon of the Week!

Until next time,

The Dad, the Mom and all the Pups!
Comments, messages and emails are always welcome! We read everything!

The Chronicles Newsletter publishes the First and Third Thursday of every month.
Add your email to get every edition!

There are certain jobs in dog ownership that sound simple until you actually try to do them.

Trimming nails, for example.

Giving a bath to a dog who has decided water is a constitutional violation.

And then there is brushing your dog’s teeth, which sounds like a peaceful little health routine until you are standing in the in the bathroom, holding a toothbrush while your dog looks at you as if you have joined a criminal organization.

Still, dental hygiene matters. A lot.

We tend to think of dog teeth as these rugged, self-cleaning tools designed for chewing bones, stealing toast, and dismantling squeaky toys with surgical precision. But dogs can get plaque, tartar, inflamed gums, bad breath, loose teeth, and painful dental disease just like people can. The difference is that dogs are very good at hiding discomfort. A dog may keep eating even with a sore mouth because, frankly, supper is supper and principles only go so far.

That means we have to pay attention before things get obvious.

Bad breath is one sign, although “dog breath” has been unfairly normalized over the years. If your dog’s breath could peel wallpaper, that is not charm. Red gums, bleeding, pawing at the mouth, chewing on one side, dropping food, or suddenly refusing hard treats can also be clues that something is going on. And if you see any of those signs, that is vet territory, not “let’s scrub harder” territory.

At home, though, there is a lot we can do.

The gold standard is brushing with a dog toothbrush and dog toothpaste. A soft-bristled dog toothbrush can work very well, especially if your dog is introduced to it slowly. Some brushes have a long handle. Some fit over your finger. Some are tiny enough for little mouths. The best brush is not necessarily the fanciest one. It is the one your dog will actually tolerate without planning revenge.

The key is to start small. Let your dog lick a bit of toothpaste first. Then lift the lip for one second. Then touch one tooth. Then celebrate as if your dog just won Best in Show, discovered penicillin, and filed your taxes.

This is not a wrestling match. You are building a habit. If your dog learns that tooth care means praise, treats, and a calm human, you have a chance. If your dog learns that tooth care means being pinned like a suspect in a police drama, you may never see that toothbrush again.

And yes, there are options besides a traditional brush.

A piece of gauze can work nicely as a gentle wipe. You wrap it around your finger, add dog-safe toothpaste, and rub along the outside surfaces of the teeth, especially near the gumline. You are not trying to sandblast the dog. You are disrupting plaque before it has a chance to settle in and become a bigger problem.

This is what we do with Biscuit.

Biscuit used to be brushed with a toothbrush, but one day the brush must have touched a sore spot on her gum. That was enough. Biscuit, who has never forgotten a single injustice in her life, decided the toothbrush had betrayed her. From that moment on, the brush was no longer a grooming tool. It was evidence.

So now Biscuit gets her teeth cleaned with a 2-inch by 2-inch gauze pad and an enzymatic dog toothpaste. The gauze is softer, easier to control, and less intimidating for her. She still gives me a look that says, “I am cooperating under protest,” but she allows it. In Biscuit terms, that is a glowing endorsement.

Dog toothpaste comes in different types and flavours. Poultry, beef, peanut butter, vanilla mint—apparently dogs have a more adventurous dental aisle than we do. The important thing is to use toothpaste made for dogs. Human toothpaste is not safe for them and should not be used.

Enzymatic toothpaste is a popular option because it is designed to help reduce plaque-forming bacteria and slow plaque buildup. It still works best when paired with some physical action, like brushing or wiping with gauze, but it can be a helpful part of the routine.

There are also dental chews, dental diets, water additives, and wipes. These can be useful, especially for dogs who are not ready for brushing every day. But I think of them as helpers, not a complete replacement. Chewing may help scrape some surfaces, but it will not politely clean every tooth and gumline like a tiny hygienist.

And of course, home care does not replace veterinary dental care. Your vet can examine the mouth properly, spot problems we might miss, and tell you whether a professional cleaning is needed. If your dog has pain, swelling, bleeding, loose teeth, or sudden changes in eating, do not try to solve that with a new toothpaste flavour.

The best dental routine is the one you can actually maintain. Daily is ideal. A few times a week is better than surrendering entirely. One tooth today is better than a full battle that ends with everyone emotionally damaged.

Start gently. Be patient. Use the right tools. Reward generously.

And if your dog gives you a suspicious look while you wipe their teeth with gauze, just remember: in their mind, you are doing something deeply weird.

You are also doing something deeply important.

Today’s Question: “Cricket, why does my dog’s breath smell so bad sometimes? Is it just because dogs are dogs?”

Cricket’s Answer:
Excellent question.

And no, “because dogs are dogs” is not technically a scientific explanation, even though Biscuit has tried to use that answer on several occasions.

Dog breath usually smells bad because of bacteria. Dogs use their mouths for everything. They eat with them, carry toys with them, lick mysterious things with them, and occasionally investigate items that polite society would prefer not to discuss.

Over time, bacteria can build up on the teeth and gums. When that bacteria mixes with food particles and saliva, it forms a sticky film called plaque. If plaque stays there too long, it can harden into tartar. Tartar gives bacteria a nice place to hide, which can lead to inflamed gums, dental disease, and breath that could knock over a houseplant.

Some dog breath is normal. If your dog just ate supper or chewed something questionable in the yard, there may be temporary consequences. But if the smell is very strong, constant, or suddenly much worse, that can be a clue that something is going on in the mouth.

That is why brushing, wiping with gauze, dental chews, and regular vet checks are important. The goal is not to give your dog minty-fresh movie-star breath. The goal is to keep plaque from turning into a bigger problem.

Also, dogs cannot brush their own teeth.

Kevin tried once. He ended up mauling his tennis ball.

So the humans are in charge. 🐾

Biscuit turns 6! … or is that 1? Problems with being born on February 29th. See our latest on YouTube!

Before you go: Food puzzles, Kongs and snuffle mats - give your dog a job and calm their brain. Greg Burke

A Note from our Sponsor:

No Sponsor this week.

Cartoon of the Week!

Want more tips, tricks, and tail-wagging tales? Visit our blog anytime at cricketchronicles.ca!

Pool safety is important for ALL kids - whether furry or not

I thought we were going outside for a quiet afternoon by the pool. This was my first mistake.

My second mistake was assuming that because everyone had been out by the pool before, everyone understood the basic rules.

No running.
No jumping without permission.
No leaning over the edge to investigate leaves.
No treating the pool noodle as a weapon, flotation device, microphone, royal sceptre, or emergency rescue snake.

The rules seemed simple. Naturally, Biscuit felt they required improvement.

I was arranging towels on the patio chairs when she appeared wearing sunglasses and an expression of grave responsibility. “Daddy,” she said, “I have appointed myself Head Lifeguard.”

Cricket looked up from the shade. “You can’t appoint yourself head lifeguard.”

“I can if no one else has appointed me.”

“You have to go through an extensive Lifeguarding course AND CPR training.”

Biscuit ignored her and continued. “As Head Lifeguard, I will be enforcing water safety.” I was cautiously optimistic. This lasted almost three seconds.

“Rule one,” Biscuit announced, “all snacks must be stored within reach of the lifeguard chair.”

“There is no lifeguard chair,” I said.

“Exactly,” she replied. “That is a safety issue. And, coincidentally, rule number two!”

Kevin trotted over carrying a pool noodle twice his length. “I’m the emergenthy wethcue thquad,” he said.

“That’s emergency rescue squad,” Cricket said.

“That’th what I thaid.”

Biscuit nodded approvingly. “Kevin is in charge of noodle deployment.” Kevin saluted and accidentally hit himself in the face with the noodle. Which, I admit, did not fill me with confidence.

The pool sparkled in the afternoon sun, looking calm, harmless and inviting, which is exactly why backyard pools deserve respect. They do not look dangerous. They do not growl. They do not give warnings. They simply sit there waiting for someone to make a bad decision. And dogs, wonderful as they are, are experts in bad decisions. Biscuit in particular!

“Before anyone goes near the water,” I said, “we are reviewing the pool rules.”

Biscuit groaned. “We already know them.”

“Then this will be quick.” Cricket sat taller, because Cricket enjoys rules when they apply to other people.

“First,” I said, “no dog is allowed near the pool unless an adult is watching. Especially if the pool cover is still on!”

Kevin raised a paw. “What if we are only looking?”

“Especially then.”

Biscuit frowned. “But walking on the pool cover is cool! It’s like walking on the moon!”

“No. Looking can become leaning, leaning can become slipping, and slipping can become a very bad afternoon. If the cover is on, you can easily drown by getting stuck underneath it!”

Cricket nodded. “That is a logical sequence.”

“Thank you,” I said.

Biscuit muttered, “Teacher’s pet.”

“Second,” I continued, “every dog needs to know where the steps are.”

I walked them to the shallow end and pointed. “If you ever fall in, you come here. Not the side. Not the deep end. Here.”

Kevin peered at the steps. “The ethcape hatch.”

“Exactly,” I said. “The escape hatch.”

Biscuit inspected them with professional seriousness. “What if I fall in dramatically?”

“You still use the steps.”

“What if there is music?”

“Still the steps.”

“What if I am being filmed?”

“Especially the steps.”

Cricket looked at Kevin. “This is why we practice.” And we did.

One at a time, with me right there, we practised going in calmly and coming out calmly. No panic. No splashing frenzy. No heroic nonsense. Just turn, find the steps, climb out.

Cricket went first. She was sensible, dignified and slightly offended by the wetness.

Kevin went next. He paddled with great determination and the facial expression of someone filing a complaint with management.

Then came Biscuit.

Biscuit entered the water like a celebrity arriving at an awards show, all confidence and unnecessary drama. She paddled in a circle, ignored the steps, turned toward me and said, “I believe I have discovered an island.”

“You are in the middle of the pool.”

“Then I have discovered international waters.”

“Biscuit. Steps.”

She sighed, turned around, found the steps and climbed out.

“Fine,” she said, shaking water over all of us. “But my version had more adventure.”

The lesson continued. I explained that some dogs swim well, some dogs do not, and some dogs believe they swim well because nobody has had the heart to tell them otherwise. Life jackets are not an insult. They are a tool. Like a leash, a fence, or a baby gate, they exist because love sometimes looks like preventing a dangerous situation.

Biscuit looked suspicious. “Does this life jacket make me look less powerful?”

“No.”

“More powerful?”

“Sure.”

She puffed out her chest. “Then I accept.”

Kevin wanted one immediately. Not because he understood buoyancy, but because Biscuit had accepted one and Kevin’s life goal is to be included in Biscuit’s bad ideas before Cricket can stop them.

We also covered the other hazards. Dogs should not drink pool water. Chlorine, salt, and pool chemicals are not beverages, no matter how refreshing Kevin thinks “forbidden soup” sounds. Dogs should be rinsed off after swimming, especially if they have sensitive skin. Wet ears should be checked. Tired dogs should rest. And toys should not be thrown into the deep end unless a human is prepared to retrieve them, because a favourite ball has a way of turning a sensible dog into a furry torpedo with no exit strategy.

At the end of our safety lesson, Biscuit reclaimed her sunglasses. “As Head Lifeguard,” she said, “I declare this pool safe.”

“Not quite,” Cricket said.

Biscuit frowned. “What now?”

Cricket pointed to the patio table. “There are grapes.”

I moved them inside immediately.

Biscuit stared after me. “Wait. Grapes are dangerous too?”

“For dogs, yes.”

Kevin gasped. “Even if they’re wearing thunglatheth?”

“Even then,” Cricket said.

Biscuit lowered herself onto a towel, exhausted by the responsibilities of leadership. “This backyard is full of hazards,” she said.

“Yes,” I replied. “That’s why we have rules.”

She thought about this for a moment. “Fine. But I still need a lifeguard chair.”

“No.”

“A whistle?”

“No.”

“A snack station?”

“No.”

Kevin raised his noodle. “What about the emergenthy rethcue thquad?”

“You,” I said, “may keep the noodle.” Kevin beamed.

Biscuit leaned back in the sun, proud, damp and disappointed by the lack of municipal funding. And for the rest of the afternoon, everyone stayed safe. Mostly because the Head Lifeguard fell asleep on a towel. With one eye open. Just in case the snacks needed rescuing.

Questions from readers, answered by the Pups!

Question: Dear Cricket,

My dog hates swimming. Every summer I see other dogs happily. jumping into lakes ad pools, but mine acts like water is made of ava. I’d love for him to enjoy swimming, especially because we spend time near the cottage. How do I get him to like it?

Signed,
Soggy Dreams

Dear Soggy Dreams,

First, we must address the most important scientific principle: not every dog wishes to become a duck.

Some dogs love water. Some tolerate it. Some believe even damp grass is an unacceptable personal attack. The goal should not be to force your dog to love swimming. The goal is to help him feel safe around water and, if he chooses, discover that swimming can be fun.

Start very slowly. Do not carry him into the lake and “show him it’s fine.” That is how trust gets wet and runs away.

Begin at the edge of shallow water where he can stand comfortably. Let him sniff, watch, and retreat if he wants to. Reward curiosity with praise, treats, or a favourite toy. If he steps in with one paw, celebrate. If he steps in with two paws, throw a parade. A small parade. We do not want to startle him.

Use calm water, good footing, and warm weather. A slippery dock, crashing waves, or a sudden plunge is not a swimming lesson. It is a villain origin story.

A properly fitted dog life jacket can help build confidence, especially for beginners. Even strong swimmers can get tired, and some breeds are not naturally built for easy swimming. Stay close, support him gently if needed, and always show him how to get out. In a pool, practise finding the steps. At a lake, practise returning to shore.

Keep sessions short and happy. Stop while he is still having a good time. And if he never becomes a swimmer? That’s okay. Water safety matters more than water enthusiasm.

After all, sometimes, even I prefer dry observation, preferably from the shade, with a good book.

Cricket

The pups have had enough with the Dad jokes and take matters in their own hands! … er… paws. If you missed it, you definitely want to see THIS video!

Before you go…

Cartoon of the Week!

And now a word from our sponsor:

Bad news is good business. We never bought in.

Every morning, financial news follows the same script. Headlines panic, coverage catastrophises, and somewhere inside the noise is the story that actually matters — the one that tells you where the opportunity sits, not just where the fear is pointing.

Most sources have stopped looking. The alarm is easier to sell.

The Daily Upside was created by Wall Street insiders for readers who crave real insight over recycled anxiety. Five minutes of global business and finance, before the noise sets the agenda — just the facts, context, and analysis your decisions need.

Join 1M readers — including managing directors and principals at some of Wall Street’s largest institutions — who trust The Daily Upside to filter through the chaos.

The upsides are always there. We’ll find them before breakfast.

Start reading for free today

Three Shelties. One house. Plenty of opinions.

Hello, it is me, Biscuit.

Today we are learning a trick so advanced, so dramatic, so emotionally complicated, that only the bravest dogs should attempt it.

It is called Hold It! This is when a dog balances a treat on their paw, nose, or head and somehow does not immediately eat it.

I know. It sounds fake. It sounds like something invented by cats. Because when a treat appears near my face, my body does not say, “Remain calm, Biscuit.” My body says, “Emergency! Snack touching the atmosphere! Deploy mouth!”

But apparently, humans think it is very impressive when dogs show self-control. So today I will explain how to teach this trick without your dog exploding into a cloud of crumbs and betrayal.

What This Trick Teaches

“Hold It” is more than just a cute party trick. It teaches patience, focus, impulse control, and the very difficult life skill of not grabbing food just because food exists.

Your dog learns that waiting does not mean losing the treat. Waiting means the treat is coming, but in a more organized, civilized manner.

Cricket says this is called “delayed gratification.” I call it “snack suspense.” Either way, it is useful.

This trick can help dogs learn to pause, listen, and control their excitement. It also builds trust, because your dog learns that you are not just showing them food and then ruining their life. You are asking for a moment of patience before they get paid.

And payment is important. I cannot stress this enough.

Step One: Start With a Closed Hand

Do not begin by slapping a treat on your dog’s nose like they are a coffee table. That is rude, confusing, and frankly, optimistic.

Start with a treat inside your closed fist. Let your dog sniff your hand. They may lick it. They may stare at it. They may gently paw at you. They may behave like tiny snack detectives trying to crack a very serious case.

Keep your hand closed. The moment your dog backs off, pauses, or looks away even for a second, say “Yes!” and give them the treat.

This teaches the first rule of “Hold It”: calm behaviour makes the snack appear. Not pawing. Not chomping. Not trying to tunnel into your palm like a raccoon with a mortgage.

Calm.

Repeat this several times until your dog starts to understand that backing off is what opens the treat vault.

Step Two: Open the Snack Vault

Now place the treat in your open palm and say, “Hold it.”

If your dog dives for it, simply close your hand again. No yelling. No scolding. No dramatic courtroom speech about betrayal. Just close the vault. When your dog pauses, even briefly, say “Yes!” and then give your release cue, such as “Take it!” or “Okay!”

At first, you may only get one second. That is fine. One second is not nothing. One second is a dog saying, “I am trying very hard to be a responsible citizen even though there is food right there.” Build slowly.

One second.

Two seconds.

Three seconds.

Do not rush to ten seconds just because your dog succeeded once. Humans love doing this. They see one tiny success and immediately decide the dog is ready for a Las Vegas residency.

The dog is not ready. The dog is ready for one more second.

Step Three: Put the Treat on the Floor

Once your dog can wait while the treat is in your hand, place the treat on the floor in front of them. Say, “Hold it.”

Keep your hand close enough to cover the treat if your dog lunges forward. If they wait, mark it with “Yes!” and release them with “Take it!”

This step is harder because the treat is now unprotected. It is just sitting there, looking delicious and smug. Practice until your dog can wait calmly for a few seconds.

Always release your dog to eat the treat. That is what makes the game fair. Your dog is not learning, “The human shows me food and then steals my joy.” Your dog is learning, “If I wait, I still get the snack.” This is the difference between training and villainy.

Step Four: Try the Paw Balance

Now we begin the fancy part. Ask your dog to lie down or sit. A down position is often easier because the paw is more stable. Gently place a small treat on top of one paw and say, “Hold it.”

At first, release them almost immediately.

“Hold it… take it!”

Do not expect your dog to hold still for a dramatic portrait. Your dog has a treat sitting on their foot. This is a major emotional event. If they flick the treat into the air and catch it, try not to be too impressed. That is not technically the trick, but it is still excellent snack athletics.

Reset and try again. Build from one second to two seconds to five seconds. Keep the sessions short and happy.

Step Five: Try the Nose Balance

The nose balance is the advanced version.

Not every dog likes this, and that is okay. Some dogs do not enjoy having things placed on their face. Respect that. You can stick with the paw version and still impress people at family gatherings.

If your dog is comfortable, ask them to sit still. Gently place a small treat on the bridge of their nose, making sure it does not block their eyes or nostrils.

Say, “Hold it.” Then release quickly with “Take it!”

At first, you may place the treat and release almost immediately. That is fine. You are teaching the idea. You are not trying to create a snack statue. Over time, you can increase the wait.

Some dogs eventually learn to flip the treat into the air and catch it. This is very advanced and should be celebrated, especially if they do not accidentally bonk themselves in the forehead.

Biscuit’s Important Safety Rules

Use small, safe treats. Do not use anything sticky, sharp, slippery, crumbly, or too large. A small training treat works best.

Do not tease your dog. This should be a fun challenge, not snack-based emotional damage.

Keep sessions short. A few minutes is plenty. And never punish mistakes. If your dog eats the treat too soon, congratulations, you have a dog. Reset and try again.

Troubleshooting

If your dog grabs the treat every time, go back to the closed-hand stage.

If your dog gets frustrated, make it easier and reward faster.

If your dog walks away, the treat may not be exciting enough, or the session may be too long.

If your dog stares at you like you have shattered the sacred bond between human and canine, reassure them that payment is coming.

Possibly offer a bonus snack. For morale.

Baby Kev making it “Fancier”

Making It Fancier: Chaining Tricks Together

Once your dog knows a few tricks well, you can start chaining them together. Chaining means asking for more than one behaviour in a row so the tricks flow together like a tiny dog performance. For example, your dog might sit, shake a paw, spin, and then bow.

Very impressive. Very theatrical. Very likely to make Grandma gasp and reach for extra treats.

With “Hold It,” one beautiful chain is to combine it with Sit Pretty (a trick we taught back in the May 2025 newsletter) — but only if your dog is physically ready and already knows “Sit Pretty” safely.

For example, your dog could sit, move into Sit Pretty, balance a treat for a very short moment, and then be released to take it. This is advanced. Do not rush it. Your dog should be comfortable with both tricks separately before you combine them. If your dog wobbles, gets frustrated, or seems uncomfortable, go back to easier versions.

Remember: chaining tricks should make your dog look confident, not like they are fighting for their life in a snack circus. Start with just two behaviours.

“Sit pretty… hold it… take it!”

Then reward like your dog just won a trophy. Because honestly, they did.

Final Thoughts From Biscuit

“Hold It” is impressive because it asks a dog to do the hardest thing in the world: not eat food that is right there. It teaches patience, focus, and self-control. It also gives humans a chance to say, “Look how well trained my dog is!” while the dog silently considers hiring Swindle, Bilk & Fleece.

Start easy. Reward often. Keep it fun. And if your dog can balance a treat without exploding, they are not just trained.

They are brave.

They are disciplined.

They are a hungry, betrayed, magnificent hero.

Now release the snack immediately.

The Treat Experiment

by Cricket

I knew there would be trouble the moment Daddy placed a treat on Biscuit’s paw and said, “Hold it.”

Biscuit froze. This was unusual. Normally, Biscuit approaches food with the speed and moral flexibility of a raccoon in a grocery store. But there she was, lying perfectly still, one paw extended, eyes locked on the treat like she was defusing a tiny biscuit-shaped bomb.

Kevin whispered, “Is Bithkit bwoken?”

“She is practicing impulse control,” I explained.

Kevin nodded seriously. “Dat sounds painful.”

It did look painful. Biscuit’s ears twitched. Her nose wiggled. One eyebrow made a decision without consulting the rest of her face.

Daddy said, “Good girl… hold it…” Biscuit’s entire body vibrated.

I began making observations. Duration: four seconds. Treat stability: acceptable. Emotional tension: extreme. Chance of explosion: increasing.

Then Daddy said, “Take it!” The treat vanished. Not eaten. Vanished.

Biscuit sat up, licking her lips. “I have discovered something important.”

“That waiting works?” I asked.

“No,” she said. “That humans enjoy suspense.” This was not the lesson.

Naturally, Biscuit decided to expand the experiment. She marched over to Kevin, placed a kibble on his paw, and said, “Hold it.” Kevin stared at it. Then he ate it immediately.

“Kevin,” Biscuit said, “you have ruined science.”

“I saved da tweat,” Kevin said.

Biscuit tried again. Same result.

By the third attempt, Kevin had developed what he called “fast hold,” which was just eating the treat before anyone could finish the sentence. Daddy laughed. Biscuit looked offended. I updated my notes.

Conclusion: “Hold It” is a useful trick for teaching patience, focus, and self-control. Secondary conclusion: Kevin is not ready for laboratory work.

Biscuit, however, has mastered the trick beautifully. She can now hold a treat for several seconds before eating it. Unless no one is watching. Then the data becomes unreliable.

Though Biscuit is quite a genius (in her mind), NEVER let her handle a 9-1-1 call! (as you can see in our latest video!)

Before you go…

And a word from our sponsor:

Bad news is good business. Not everyone buys it.

Every morning, financial news follows the same script. Headlines panic, coverage catastrophises, and somewhere inside the noise is the story that actually matters — the one that tells you where the opportunity sits, not just where the fear is pointing.

Most sources have stopped looking. The alarm is easier to sell.

The Daily Upside was created by Wall Street insiders for readers who crave real insight over recycled anxiety. Five minutes of global business and finance, before the noise sets the agenda — just the facts, context, and analysis your decisions need.

Join 1M readers — including managing directors and principals at some of Wall Street’s largest institutions — who trust The Daily Upside to filter through the chaos.

The upsides are always there. We’ll find them before breakfast.

Start reading for free today

Cartoon of the Week!

There are few things more beautiful than a dog running toward you at full speed when you call.

There are also few things more humbling than standing in the middle of a dog park yelling, “COME! COME! COME!” while your dog is pretending she has never met you, does not understand English, and has recently joined a new family made entirely of squirrels.

Reliable recall — teaching your dog to come when called — is one of the most important skills you can build. It is not just convenient. It is a safety skill. A strong recall can stop your dog from running into the road, bothering another dog, chasing wildlife, or disappearing into the bushes while you stand there questioning every life choice that led to this moment.

But here is the part many people miss: recall is not something you “install” once and then expect to work forever. Recall is a relationship, a habit, and a long-term investment. And if you want your dog to come when called, especially somewhere exciting like the dog park, you have to become the best thing available.

Yes, even better than sniffing. Yes, even better than another dog. Yes, even better than whatever mystery item your dog found under a picnic table and is now treating like buried treasure.

That means when you are training recall, your dog needs to believe that coming to you is always worth it. Not sometimes. Not only when you have a biscuit. Not only when you are desperate and your voice has reached the pitch of a smoke alarm. Always.

The biggest mistake people make is using “come” to end the fun. They call the dog, clip on the leash, and leave. Or they call the dog inside from the yard. Or they call the dog away from play, then immediately make the dog do something boring. From the dog’s point of view, “come” starts to mean, “Party’s over.” That is not a recall cue. That is a warning siren. Instead, you want your dog to think, “When I hear that word, something amazing happens.”

Start at home, where there are fewer distractions. Say your dog’s name happily, then your recall word — “Come!” — and when she gets to you, reward like she just solved climate change. Use great treats. Not the dry crumb from the bottom of your pocket. Use something your dog truly loves. Chicken, cheese, liver treats, whatever makes your dog’s eyes light up like Biscuit just found an unattended credit card.

Keep it easy at first. Call from a few feet away. Reward generously. Then release your dog back to whatever she was doing. That release is important. It teaches her that coming to you does not always mean the fun ends.

Then build distance. Call from the hallway. Call from another room. Call from the yard. Call when she is mildly distracted. Every time she comes, reward. Praise. Celebrate. Be fun. Be silly. Be worth leaving the other thing for.

When you move outdoors, use a long line. A long line gives your dog freedom while still keeping things safe. It also prevents your dog from learning that “come” is optional. If you call and your dog ignores you, do not stand there repeating the cue like a broken doorbell. You do not want “come, come, come, come” to become background noise.

Say it once. Make it cheerful. Then help your dog succeed. Back up, clap, crouch down, make kissy noises, run away a few steps, become interesting. The moment your dog turns toward you, praise. When she arrives, reward big. And then — this matters — let her go back to exploring.

That is how you build a dog who checks in willingly. You are not just competing with the environment. You are becoming part of the fun.

For the dog park, do not wait until you need to leave before practicing recall. That is like only calling your child’s name when it is time for a dentist appointment. Instead, practice throughout the visit.

Call your dog when she is nearby. Reward. Send her back to play. Call her after a short sniff. Reward. Send her back. Call her when she glances at you. Reward. Send her back.

You are teaching a very powerful lesson: “Coming to me does not ruin your fun. It makes the fun better.”

At first, do not call your dog away from the most exciting thing in the universe. If she is sprinting with her best friend or investigating an extremely suspicious patch of grass, your recall may not be ready for that test. Start with easier moments. Build success. Gradually work up to harder distractions.

And please, never punish your dog after she comes to you. Even if she took ten minutes. Even if she rolled in something that may legally qualify as a biohazard. If she finally comes and you scold her, you have just taught her that coming back is a bad idea.

Reward the return. Every time.

You can be annoyed internally. That is what teeth-gritting is for.

A reliable recall is built through hundreds of happy repetitions. It is built with good rewards, smart timing, and a promise that coming to you is safe, fun, and worthwhile.

Your goal is not to sound more serious. Your goal is to be more valuable.

So train it in the kitchen. Train it in the yard. Train it on walks. Train it at the park. Pay well. Celebrate often. Release your dog back to fun whenever possible.

Because one day, when it really matters, you do not want your dog thinking, “Hmm, let me consider my options.”

You want her thinking, “That’s my person — and getting to them is the best thing I can do.”

Today’s Question: “Why Do Dogs Tilt Their Heads When We Talk to Them?”

Cricket’s Answer:
Excellent question. And no, contrary to Biscuit’s theory, dogs do not tilt their heads because “the thoughts are sliding to one side.” That is not how brains work. Usually.

When dogs tilt their heads, scientists believe a few things might be happening. One possibility is that we are trying to hear better. Dogs have excellent hearing, but our ears are shaped differently than human ears, and some breeds have more ear fluff, ear flaps, or dramatic personal hairstyles than others. By tilting our heads, we may be adjusting the position of our ears to figure out where a sound is coming from or to better understand the tone of your voice.

Another possibility is that we are trying to see your face more clearly. Dogs pay close attention to human expressions, especially when those expressions lead to important outcomes like supper, walks, treats, or the forbidden cheese drawer. Depending on the shape of a dog’s muzzle, tilting the head may help us get a better view of your mouth and eyes. In other words, we may be gathering visual data. Very scientific. Very adorable.

There is also evidence that some dogs tilt their heads when they are concentrating. A small study found that dogs who had learned the names of toys were more likely to tilt their heads when hearing the toy’s name. This suggests that head tilting may happen when a dog is processing something familiar and meaningful. For example: “ball,” “walk,” “cookie,” or “Who shredded the napkin?”

Of course, humans often respond to head tilts with smiles, attention, and squeaky noises like, “Awwww!” This means some dogs may learn that head tilting is a highly effective human-control strategy. I am not saying dogs do this on purpose. I am simply saying the data is suspicious.

So the answer is: dogs may tilt their heads to hear better, see better, think harder, or train humans to become more generous with snacks.

In conclusion, the head tilt is not just cute. It is a complex blend of sound analysis, facial observation, memory processing, and possibly mild emotional manipulation.

Biscuit says hers is “just natural genius leaking sideways.”

I have filed a formal objection. 🐾

The Boneheads Band is back! And it’s an epic performance. See our latest on YouTube!

Before you go: Mental stimulation is a win-win-win. You and your dog have fun together, your dog is exhausted, and your bond is that much stronger. Greg Burke

A Note from our Sponsor:

10K Steps Is a Myth–Try This Instead

When motivation is lacking, jumping into heavy routines is the fastest way to burn out. That’s why millions of people are turning to walking as the foundation of their fitness journey.

Walking lets you enjoy the outdoors, clear your head, and practice mindfulness. It’s simple, sustainable, and can support lasting weight loss if you know how much you need. The “10,000 steps a day” rule is outdated; everyone’s lifestyle is different.

With Simple, you’ll get access to habit-based coaching that’s helped users lose over 18 million pounds. Take the quiz to discover your personalized walking target.

Take the Quiz

Cartoon of the Week!

Want more tips, tricks, and tail-wagging tales? Visit our blog anytime at cricketchronicles.ca!

A messy backyard. A few busy bees. One surprisingly important lesson.

By Kevin

Daddy says every spring the backyard “needs work.”

Personally, I thought it looked fine already. There were sticks. There was mud. There were mysterious smells. That’s basically everything a backyard needs. But apparently humans are “particular.”

So Saturday morning Daddy marched outside wearing his “yard work clothes,” which are really just regular clothes he’s emotionally prepared to destroy. Cricket was reading a science magazine on the deck, Biscuit had somehow acquired a wheelbarrow and safety goggles, and I was mostly there for morale support and possible snack opportunities.

“Today,” Daddy announced dramatically, “we are cleaning this yard up properly.”

Biscuit saluted. “Sir yes sir!”

Daddy pointed at a giant pile of fallen branches near the fence. “Those need to go.” Then he pointed at weeds. “Those need to go.” Then he pointed at the old flower bed. “And that whole thing needs to be fixed.”

Biscuit adjusted her goggles. “This sounds like a job for Evil Inc. Landscaping Division.”

Cricket didn’t even look up from her magazine. “You once killed a cactus.”

“Who knew Cactus hate snow” Biscuit muttered.

The work began immediately. Daddy raked leaves. Cricket organized tools into neat categories because apparently she finds that relaxing. Biscuit pushed the wheelbarrow around at unsafe speeds while yelling things like “CONSTRUCTION ZONE!” and “WORKPLACE SAFE is a STATE of MIND!”

And me? I discovered something important. Near the old flower bed was a tiny patch of flowers I’d never noticed before. Small purple ones hiding underneath some tall grass. And beside them… Bees. Tiny fuzzy bees buzzing around the flowers.

I froze.

Now normally bees are concerning because they are tiny sky needles. But these bees looked busy. Happy even. One landed on a flower and wiggled around like it had just won the lottery.

I trotted over to Cricket. “Cricket… why are the spicy fly-things dancing in the flowers?”

Cricket lowered her magazine. “The bees?”

“The pokey guys.”

“They’re pollinating.”

I stared at her. “…that sounds illegal.”

Cricket laughed. “No, Kevin. They carry pollen from flower to flower. It helps plants grow.”

I looked back toward the flowers. “So they’re tiny garden workers?”

“Basically, yes.”

That changed everything. Because Daddy was heading toward the flower bed with a shovel. I gasped. THE BEES’ OFFICE.

I sprinted across the yard. “DADDY NOOOOOOO!”

Daddy nearly dropped the shovel. “Kevin?! What happened?!”

I threw myself dramatically in front of the flowers. “You can’t wreck the bee business!”

Daddy blinked. “The what?”

“Their little flower job place! They’re WORKING!”

Biscuit immediately joined my side. “We cannot destroy local industry, Daddy. Think of the economy.”

Cricket wandered over. “To be fair, pollinators are actually really important.”

Daddy paused and looked closer at the flowers. And the bees. “Huh,” he admitted. “I didn’t even notice these.”

The bees kept buzzing around happily while we all stared at them. Even Biscuit got quiet for once, which honestly worried me more than the bees. Cricket crouched beside the flowers. “A lot of people clear everything out because they think it looks messy. But little patches like this help bees and butterflies.”

Daddy scratched his chin. “So my ugly flower bed is accidentally environmentally friendly?”

“Extremely,” Cricket said.

Biscuit pointed proudly at the weeds. “See? Neglect is sometimes conservation.”

“I don’t think that’s the official message here,” Daddy laughed.

Then he surprised us.

Instead of digging up the flowers, he grabbed a few stones from beside the shed and carefully made a little border around the patch.

“There,” he said. “Protected bee zone.”

I gasped. “A bee park!”

Biscuit nodded seriously. “We should charge admission.”

“No,” Cricket and Daddy said at the exact same time.

For the rest of the afternoon we cleaned the yard around the flowers instead of over them. Well… Most of us cleaned. At one point Biscuit tried to make “Bee Security Badges” and attempted to recruit squirrels into law enforcement. That part fell apart quickly.

But the tiny flower patch stayed safe.

And now every time I go outside, I check on the bees. They’re still working hard. Still buzzing around their tiny office. Still helping flowers grow while most humans walk right past without noticing. I think that happens a lot actually.

Sometimes the important things are little. Sometimes messy things are still good things. And sometimes before you “clean up” part of your life… it’s worth slowing down to see what’s quietly growing there first. Even if it’s surrounded by weeds.

Also Biscuit is no longer allowed to run “Bee Homeland Security.” Apparently the squirrels filed complaints.

Questions from readers, answered by the Pups! (send yours!)

Question from Diane in Alberta:
“Hey Cricket, my dog always spins in circles before lying down. Why do dogs do that? Is he trying to make himself dizzy or is there actually a reason for it?”

Cricket’s Answer:
Excellent question, Diane. And surprisingly, your dog is not just malfunctioning.

That spinning behaviour actually goes way back to dogs’ wild ancestors. Before dogs slept on fluffy beds, couches, and occasionally Daddy’s clean laundry, they used to sleep outside on grass, leaves, or dirt. Turning in circles helped flatten the area, check for uncomfortable objects, and possibly scare away bugs or snakes hiding nearby.

Basically, your dog is running ancient “bed preparation software” that still exists even though the modern sleeping surface is a memory foam mattress shaped like a banana.

Dogs also like routine. Spinning can help them feel settled and comfortable before resting — kind of like humans fluffing pillows or adjusting blankets seventeen times before sleeping.

Of course, if the spinning suddenly becomes excessive, frantic, or seems uncomfortable, that can sometimes point to pain, anxiety, or medical issues, so it’s always smart to keep an eye on changes in behaviour.

Biscuit says she spins before lying down because “the floor needs calibrating,” but veterinary science does not currently support this theory.

— Cricket ✔️

Biscuit latest new job? And somehow she created demand? See it on YouTube!

Before you go…

Cartoon of the Week!

And now a word from our sponsor:

Smart starts here.

You don't have to read everything — just the right thing. 1440's daily newsletter distills the day's biggest stories from 100+ sources into one quick, 5-minute read. It's the fastest way to stay sharp, sound informed, and actually understand what's happening in the world. Join 4.5 million readers who start their day the smart way.

Join for free today!

I live with three Shetland Sheepdogs who are excellent at exposing weaknesses in any training plan. Biscuit applies confidence liberally, Cricket demands proof, and Kevin assumes things will work out. Most weeks, they provide the material for this newsletter.

The Actual Training Method That Works

By Biscuit (Founder & CEO of Adorable Things Inc.)

Step 1: Build a Solid “Paws Up” First (Non-Negotiable)

This trick is a show stopper with an extra dollop of “mega-cute”. Use it’s power wisely, young grasshopper! But, before you even think about the “prayer” part, your dog needs to confidently place both front paws on something.

Use:

• Your forearm (best for the final look)

• A low stool or ledge (easier for beginners)

How to train it:

• Hold a treat at nose level

• Guide your dog forward so they step up with both paws

• The second both paws make contact → reward immediately

Repeat until your dog:

• Offers paws up quickly

• Holds position comfortably

• Isn’t wobbling like they’re on a balance beam

👉 If this part is shaky, the final trick will look sloppy. This is where most people cut corners—and it shows.

Step 2: Introduce the Head Drop (This Is the Trick)

Now we shape the illusion.

With your dog in the paws up position, take a treat and slowly move it:

➡️ From nose level
➡️ Downward
➡️ Slightly inward toward their chest or your arm

What should happen:

• Your dog follows the treat down

• Their head lowers

• Their eyes disappear behind their paws/your arm

The moment the head drops and eyes are hidden → reward

That’s it. That’s the magic moment.

Step 3: Be Precise About What You Reward

This is where you either create a viral-level trick… or a confused dog doing interpretive dance.

You are ONLY rewarding:

• Head tucked down

• Eyes hidden or mostly hidden

• Body still in paws-up position

Do NOT reward:

• Looking down briefly then popping back up

• Sliding off the object

• Pawing at your hand like a maniac

👉 If you reward the wrong thing, your dog will invent a completely different trick. And they will commit to it.

Step 4: Add Your Cue (“Say Your Prayers”)

Once your dog is consistently:

• Putting paws up

• Tucking their head when lured

Now you add the cue.

Say:
“Say your prayers”

Then immediately guide them into the position.

After enough reps, your dog will connect:
Cue → Action → Reward

Step 5: Fade the Lure (Or You’ll Be Stuck Forever)

Right now your dog is following food. That’s fine—for now.

Start transitioning to:

• Same hand motion

• No treat visible

Then reward AFTER they complete the behavior.

If you skip this step, your dog will only “pray” when they see snacks.
Which, to be fair, is relatable—but not helpful.

Step 6: Build Duration (This Is What Makes It Cute)

A quick head dip is not “praying.” That’s a glitch.

You want a held pose.

Train it like this:

• Head down → count 1 → reward

• Then 2 seconds

• Then 3 seconds

Gradually increase.

👉 The longer they hold it, the more it looks intentional—and the cuter it gets.

Step 7: Clean It Up for the Final Look

Now we refine the presentation:

Aim for:

• Paws stable and close together

• Head fully tucked

• Minimal movement

If your dog keeps peeking up:

• Lower your lure slightly more

• Reward only the deepest head tuck

If your dog slides off your arm:

• Your “platform” is too unstable

• Or you moved too fast

Step 8: Practice in Real Positions (Arm vs Object)

A subtle mistake people make:
They train on a box… then expect it to magically transfer to their arm.

It won’t. Dogs are literal.

So once the behavior is solid:

• Practice with your forearm

• Practice at different angles

• Practice standing and sitting

Common Mistakes (That Will Absolutely Happen If You Ignore This)

1. Training head drop without stable paws
→ Dog just bows awkwardly on the ground

2. Moving too fast with the lure
→ Dog loses position completely

3. Rewarding too early
→ Dog never fully hides their eyes

4. Not separating the steps
→ Dog gets confused and improvises

Final Biscuit Truth

This trick looks simple…

…but it’s actually a precision shaping exercise.

Do it right, and you get:

• A clean, repeatable trick

• A ridiculously cute pose

• A dog that looks like they’re politely negotiating with the universe

Do it wrong, and you get:

• A dog leaning on your arm

• Making eye contact

• Judging you

Choose wisely.

—Biscuit 🐾

Tails from the Doghouse

“The Night I Became… Deeply Spiritual”
By Biscuit (Founder of Evil Inc., Part-Time Philosopher, Full-Time Snack Enthusiast)

It started, like many of my greatest ideas, with snacks. Daddy had been teaching us a new trick called “Say Your Prayers,” where you put your paws up, tuck your head down, and suddenly everyone acts like you’ve achieved enlightenment. I tried it once—got a treat. Tried it again—got two treats. That’s when I realized this wasn’t just a trick… it was a system.

Later that night, I decided to test this discovery. I approached Daddy on the couch, calmly placed my paws on his arm, tucked my head down, and held the pose. Stillness. Commitment. Art. Daddy gasped. “Aw, Biscuit… that’s adorable.” Treat. Excellent. I repositioned and did it again—longer this time, really leaning into the whole “deep reflection” vibe. “Okay, okay… one more,” he said. Treat. Now we were talking.

Naturally, I escalated. I followed him into the kitchen and repeated the maneuver. Same precision. Same intensity. Kevin wandered in. “Bithcuit, awe you pwacticing being a statue?” I remained focused. Great artists are often misunderstood. Daddy sighed, “Alright… last one.” Treat.

The next morning, I tried it on Cricket. Paws up. Head down. She adjusted her glasses. “You’re not actually praying, you know. You’re just repeating a trained behavior for reinforcement. This is operant conditioning.” I held the pose. “…Okay, that is kind of impressive.” Treat. Even Cricket couldn’t resist.

At this point, I believed I had unlocked an infinite snack loop. But then… everything fell apart. That afternoon, I approached Daddy again—perfect execution. Silence. No gasp. No treat. I peeked. He was watching me, arms crossed. “Biscuit… are you just doing this for treats now?” I froze. I doubled down—deeper head tuck, more intensity. Nothing. “Nice try,” he said. No treat.

I tried Kevin. “Bithcuit, is you asking the thnack gods for tweats?” Finally, someone understood. He looked at me the way only a proud little brother can. “Good wuck.” No treat.

I tried Cricket again. She didn’t even look up. “You’ve overused the behavior. The reinforcement value has dropped.” I didn’t know what that meant, but I didn’t like it.

That night, I sat in my bed actually reflecting. Had I taken something cute and turned it into a snack vending strategy? (Yes. Obviously yes.) The next day, Daddy called me over. “Biscuit, say your prayers.” I did the trick—no desperation, no scheming. Just the behavior. He smiled. “That’s a good one.” Treat.

And that’s when it clicked. Tricks can get you treats. Being adorable is powerful. But if you turn every moment into a transaction, people stop believing it. Sometimes, you just do the thing… and the good stuff follows.

Also, for the record, I am still running a limited-time “prayer service” in the kitchen between 4–6 PM.

Business is business.

—Biscuit 🐾

See Biscuit’s “Evil Inc.” business at work in this hilarious episode!

Before you go…

Cartoon of the Week!

There’s a moment every dog owner faces.

You grab your keys.
Your dog notices.
And suddenly, you’re starring in what can only be described as an emotional one-act play titled: “How Could You Leave Me Forever?”

For some dogs, it’s mild disappointment. For others, it’s full-blown separation anxiety—pacing, barking, destruction, or the kind of vocal performance that convinces your neighbours you’ve abandoned a small orchestra.

The instinctive reaction is to try and “fix” the behaviour quickly. But here’s the reality:

Dogs aren’t born knowing how to be alone.
It’s something we have to teach them—slowly, intentionally, and with a bit of strategy.

First, Let’s Get One Thing Straight

There’s a big difference between:

• A dog who doesn’t like being alone

• And a dog who genuinely can’t cope being alone

Mild frustration might look like whining for a minute or two.
Separation anxiety looks more like:

• Panic-level barking or howling

• Destructive behaviour (especially doors, crates, windows)

• Accidents in a previously house-trained dog

• Following you like a shadow before you leave

If your dog is in that second category, this isn’t about obedience—it’s about helping them feel safe.

The Goal Isn’t Silence. It’s Confidence.

A lot of people aim for a quiet dog.

That’s not the real goal.

The goal is a dog who thinks: “They left… but they always come back. I’m good.”

Everything you do should build that belief.

Start Smaller Than You Think

Most people go too fast.

They leave for 30 minutes, come back to chaos, and assume the dog “can’t handle being alone.”

In reality, the dog may only be comfortable for… 30 seconds.

So that’s where you start.

• Walk out the door

• Count to 10

• Come back in calmly

No big goodbyes. No emotional reunions. Just… normal.

Then build from there:

• 10 seconds → 30 seconds

• 30 seconds → 1 minute

• 1 minute → 3 minutes

It sounds slow—because it is.
But this is how you build real confidence instead of temporary tolerance.

Stop Making Leaving a Big Event

We accidentally train our dogs to panic.

Think about the typical routine:

• Grab keys

• Put on shoes

• Say “Bye buddy!”

• Dog gets worked up

• Door closes

To your dog, all of those steps become warning signals.

So flip the script:

• Pick up your keys… and sit back down

• Put on your shoes… and make a sandwich

• Open the door… and close it again

You’re teaching your dog: “None of this means anything.”

Create a “Safe Alone” Routine

Dogs thrive on patterns.

So instead of randomness, build a predictable sequence:

• Calm environment

• Same departure routine

• Something positive when you leave (more on that in a second)

Over time, your dog starts associating your departure with something familiar—not something scary.

Give Them a Job (Yes, Even When You Leave)

A bored dog + anxious brain = trouble.

Before you leave, give them something to focus on:

• A stuffed food toy

• A long-lasting chew

• A puzzle feeder

The key here is timing.

👉 Only give this right before you leave
👉 Pick it up when you return

This creates a powerful association: “When they leave… good things happen.”

Exercise Matters More Than You Think

You can’t train calm into a dog that’s bursting with energy.

Before longer absences:

• Go for a walk

• Do a short training session

• Engage their brain

You’re not trying to exhaust them—you’re trying to take the edge off.

A mentally and physically satisfied dog is far more capable of relaxing.

Avoid the Biggest Mistake

Here’s the one that derails everything:

👉 Leaving your dog longer than they can handle

Every time your dog panics, it reinforces the fear.

So during training:

• Keep absences within their comfort zone

• If needed, use help (family, dog walker, daycare)

Think of it like this:
You’re not testing them.
You’re training them.

Progress Isn’t Linear (And That’s Normal)

Some days will feel like a breakthrough.

Other days, your dog will act like you’ve learned nothing.

That’s part of the process.

Stay consistent. Stay calm. Keep building.

The End Goal

You won’t eliminate your dog’s desire to be with you.

And honestly—you wouldn’t want to.

But you can teach them this: Being alone is safe. It’s temporary. And it’s nothing to worry about.

And when that clicks?

You can grab your keys…
…and your dog barely looks up.

Today’s Question: “Why does my dog struggle with being left alone when my neighbour’s dog is fine with it?”

Cricket’s Answer:

Because dogs are not identical systems.

Some are more sensitive. Some are more independent. And some have simply had more practice learning that being alone is safe.

There are two main variables at play:

1. Sensitivity

Some dogs notice changes quickly and react strongly. Others… don’t. (Kevin, for example, once slept through a vacuum cleaner.)

A more sensitive dog is more likely to interpret your departure as something important—and possibly concerning.

2. Learning History

Dogs build expectations based on patterns. A dog that has experienced calm, predictable departures learns: “People leave… and they always come back.”

A dog without that history is left to make its own conclusion.

And dogs are very good at filling in missing information—just not always correctly.

Conclusion (as expected):

Your neighbour’s dog isn’t “better behaved.”

It’s just working with different data.
🐾 Cricket

The dogs’ band, “The Boneheads" releases their latest music video! See it on YouTube!

A Note from our Sponsor:

Your Dog Deserves Better Than Mystery Kibble

Most kibble is cooked at extreme temperatures that strip out the nutrients your dog actually needs. Your dog deserves better than that.

Spot & Tango's UnKibble is the only human-grade dog food that delivers all the benefits of fresh food without taking up fridge space. Made with USDA-grade meats, plus fresh fruits and vegetables, then gently dried at low temps to lock in up to 99% of nutrients. As vets say: "This is the food dogs were born to eat."

It's pantry-friendly, delivered to your door, and comes with a personalized scoop sized to your dog's exact needs. No guesswork, no prep, no refrigeration.

350,000+ dog parents have already made the switch — and 87% saw health improvements in their pup after switching.

A little gift your dog deserves. Try it risk-free with a 14-day money-back guarantee get 60% off with code DESERVES60

Get 60% Off

Cartoon of the Week!

Want more tips, tricks, and tail-wagging tales? Visit our blog anytime at cricketchronicles.ca!

Our home is run by three Shetland Sheepdogs who believe rules are flexible, evidence is optional, and, for one, naps are mandatory. Biscuit handles executive decisions, Cricket handles analysis, and Kevin handles morale. They’re the reason today’s topic came up at all.

There are moments in life when you realize you’ve made a terrible decision.
Not immediately, of course. At first, it feels efficient. Even smart.

“Maybe,” I thought, “it’s time to start giving the dogs a little more responsibility around here.” That was my first mistake. My second mistake was saying it out loud.

Biscuit’s head snapped up so fast I’m fairly certain she broke the sound barrier, “Did someone say responsibility?”

Kevin gasped, “WE’RE GETTING PROMOTED?!

Cricket didn’t even look up from her book, “This is going to end in flames.”

The Promotion That Shouldn’t Have Happened

It started innocently enough.I had a busy day ahead—calls, errands, the usual—and I figured giving Biscuit a small task might keep her occupied.

“Alright,” I said. “You’re in charge of… the daily schedule.” There was a pause. The kind of pause where, if you were smarter, you would immediately walk it back.

Biscuit slowly turned toward me, “In charge… of time?”

“Not time,” I clarified. “Just… organizing the day.”

Biscuit stood up. “No, no. I understand. I will be controlling time.”

Kevin saluted. “Yes Captain Clocks!”

Cricket sighed, “We’re going to miss meals, aren’t we?”

The System (Written… On the Wall)

I should have checked what Biscuit was doing. Instead, I went to make coffee.

By the time I came back, she had created what she called: “A Highly Efficient Life Optimization Chart.” It was written in marker. On the wall.

“Biscuit… why is the schedule on the wall?”

“So it can’t escape.”

“That’s not—never mind. Walk me through it.”

She cleared her throat. “07:00 hours - Wake up dramatically. Unless you’re me where I sleep in till 10:27.”

Kevin nodded. “I can do dramatic.”

“10:28 - Breakfast negotiations.”

Cricket looked up.“You mean eating?”

Biscuit shook her head. “No. Eating is what happens if negotiations fail.”

I rubbed my temples. “Keep going.”

“10:30 - Strategic barking at invisible threats.”

Kevin leaned toward me. “That’s my specialty.”

“10:40: Mandatory zoomies. Non-negotiable.”

Cricket - “Of course.”

“11:00 - Financial planning.”

I froze. “I’m sorry… what?”

Biscuit puffed up proudly. “Yes. I’ve allocated our resources.”

“What resources?”

She gestured toward the pantry. “The snack economy.”

When the Schedule Took Over the House

Things started to unravel around 9:12 a.m. Kevin was starved because he had to wake up at 7:00am and breakfast wasn’t until 10:28 when the “princess” woke up.

Then there were the zoomies. Now, zoomies are usually a spontaneous event. Organic. Chaotic, yes—but natural. Biscuit had scheduled them. This was different.

“GO! GO! GO!” she shouted.

Kevin launched himself off the couch like a furry missile. Cricket moved exactly three steps to the left and continued reading.

I ducked as Kevin ricocheted off a chair. “Biscuit,” I said, “you can’t force zoomies.”

She checked the wall. “It’s 10:47! We are behind schedule.”

The Snack Economy Collapses

At 11:00 a.m., things got worse.

“Alright everyone,” Biscuit announced, “time for financial planning.”

I should have intervened. I didn’t. “What does that mean?” I asked cautiously.

She pulled out a bowl. Not just any bowl. The good treat bowl. “We are redistributing assets.”

Cricket closed her book. “Define ‘redistributing.’”

Biscuit began handing out treats. “One for Kevin.”

“YAY!”

“One for me.”

“Of course.”

“One for morale.” She ate that one too. One for Cricket. “And one for future investments.” Also eaten.

I stepped in. “Biscuit, you can’t just ‘spend’ all our treats in one morning!”

She looked at me like I was the one being unreasonable. “I’m stimulating the economy.”

Cricket muttered, “QE treat style. Inflation runs rampant. This is exactly how civilizations collapse.”

Taking Back Control

By noon, nothing was on track. Meals were early. Then late. Then early again. Kevin had eaten something he referred to as “second breakfast negotiations.”

The wall schedule had been revised six times, in permanent marker. And somehow… we were all tired.

I finally stepped in. “Alright. That’s enough. I’m taking back control of the schedule.”

Biscuit froze.

Kevin gasped.

Cricket looked relieved.

“You’re… firing me?” Biscuit said quietly.

I hesitated. Because here’s the thing. She was terrible at it. But she also cared. A lot.

“No,” I said. “I’m… reassigning you.”

She narrowed her eyes. “To what?”

I thought for a moment. “You’re now in charge of morale.”

There was a long pause. Then - Biscuit smiled. “Oh. I will excel at this.”

Kevin cheered. “MORALE PARTY!”

Cricket shook her head. “This is still going to be a problem.”

What Actually Happened Here

The house calmed down after that. Schedules returned to normal. Meals happened when they were supposed to. And the treat bowl… mostly recovered.

But something stuck with me. Because Biscuit wasn’t trying to cause chaos. She was genuinely trying to help. She just didn’t understand the system she was trying to run.

And honestly? That’s where a lot of training—and a lot of frustration—comes from. We hand dogs responsibility without clarity. We expect structure without teaching it.

And then we’re surprised when they invent their own version of “organization.”

(Usually involving snacks.)

The Hidden Lesson

If your dog is “taking over” something they shouldn’t… It’s rarely rebellion. It’s usually confusion. Or initiative without direction.

Which, depending on how you look at it… is actually a pretty great problem to have.

Biscuit poked her head back into the room. “Quick question. Is morale allowed to have snacks?”

“No.”

“…What about emotional snacks?”

Cricket didn’t look up.

“That’s not a thing.”

Biscuit grabbed a treat and ran. “IT IS NOW.”

Questions from readers, answered by the Pups!

Question: I accidentally gave my dog one treat for looking cute… and now he thinks he’s the boss of the house. He’s demanding snacks, won’t follow basic commands, and stares at me like I work for him. How do I fix this before he starts scheduling meetings?
— Recently Demoted in My Own Living Room

Biscuit answers:

First of all… congratulations. You have successfully created a leader. Second of all… you made a critical error. You gave compensation without establishing a corporate structure. Kevin, take notes.

Kevin: “I’m writing ‘more snacks = power.’”

Correct. Now here’s what you need to do.
Step one: rebrand yourself. You are no longer “owner.” You are now Support Staff.
Step two: lean into it. If your dog is CEO, you must ask permission for everything. “May I sit on the couch, sir?” “Is it acceptable if I use my own kitchen?” This builds trust.
Step three: negotiate your salary. You should be receiving at least two treats per hour for your services. If not, you are being exploited.

Kevin: “What if they get three treats?”

Then you’ve entered upper management.

Now… if you really want to take back control - (which I don’t recommend, because power is intoxicating)—you must stop random payments. Treats should only be given for clearly defined tasks: sit equals one treat, down equals one treat, not overthrowing the household hierarchy equals bonus potential.

Cricket: “That last one isn’t a command.”

It is now.

Final note: if your dog starts scheduling meetings… attend them. Bring snacks. And whatever you do—do NOT make eye contact. That’s how they finalize promotions.

— Biscuit ✔️

If you want to see Biscuit complaining about her February 29th birthday, you definitely want to see THIS video! She takes it to a whole new level!

Before you go…

Cartoon of the Week!

Three Shelties. One house. Plenty of opinions.

Comments are always welcome! cricket@cricketchronicles.ca

Ring That Bell! – Ask to Go Outside Politely

There are few things more frustrating than the “mystery puddle.” You know the one. Everything was fine… until it wasn’t. No warning, no signal—just a very guilty face and a very inconvenient cleanup.

Now here’s the part most people miss: in many cases, your dog did try to communicate. We just didn’t understand the language.

That’s where bell training comes in—and when it’s done right, it’s one of the cleanest, clearest communication systems you can teach your dog.

Why a Bell Works (And Why Guessing Doesn’t)

Dogs are constantly communicating—pacing, staring, circling, hovering near the door—but those signals are subtle and inconsistent. A bell, on the other hand, is black-and-white.

Ring bell → door opens → relief happens.

It’s simple. It’s consistent. And most importantly, it gives your dog control over the situation.

But here’s where I’ll challenge a common assumption:
bell training is not just about teaching your dog to ring something—it’s about teaching them when and why to use it.

Skip that part, and you don’t get communication… you get a dog who rings the bell 47 times a day because “outside = fun.” A problem we had with our puppy Kevin. The bell was being constantly “spammed” (as my kids called it) driving everyone crazy!

Step 1: Set the Stage (Don’t Overcomplicate It)

You don’t need anything fancy. A strip of jingle bells on the door works great, but so does:

• A single hanging bell

• A mounted push-button “service” bell

• Even a hanging metal tag or chime

The key is consistency: one door, one signal.

Hang the bell at your dog’s nose level near the door you use for potty breaks. If you switch doors or move the bell around, you’re basically changing the rules mid-game.

Step 2: Pair the Bell With the Outcome

Here’s where most people go wrong—they try to teach the ringing first.

Don’t.

Instead, every single time you take your dog outside, you initiate the bell interaction first.

• Gently guide their nose or paw to touch the bell

• Let it make noise

• Immediately open the door and go outside

No delay. No extra steps. Bell = door opens.

You’re not asking them to understand yet—you’re building the association.

Do this consistently for a few days, and you’ll start to see the gears turning.

Step 3: Let Them Make the First Move

At some point, your dog will hesitate at the door… and maybe, just maybe, nudge the bell.

That’s your moment.

The second the bell rings—even by accident—you open the door immediately.

No hesitation. No “was that on purpose?” debate. Reward the behavior instantly.

This is how you transition from “prompted behavior” to “voluntary communication.”

Step 4: Separate Potty From Play (This Is Critical)

Here’s where a lot of bell systems fall apart.

If every bell ring turns into a backyard adventure, your dog quickly learns:

And suddenly you’ve trained a doorman, not a communicator.

Instead, keep early bell trips boring and purposeful:

• Go outside

• Stand in the potty area

• Wait quietly

• Reward when they go

Then come right back in.

Playtime can still happen—but not every time the bell rings.

This distinction is what keeps the system honest.

Step 5: Add Clarity, Not Noise

Once your dog understands the bell, resist the urge to overcomplicate things with commands like:

• “Go ring the bell!”

• “Do you need to go outside?”

• “Touch the bell!”

You want the bell to be their voice, not a trick they perform on cue.

The cleaner the system, the more reliable it becomes.

Troubleshooting (Because Real Life Happens)

Problem: My dog rings the bell constantly.
You’ve accidentally reinforced it as an “outside for fun” button. Tighten the routine—short, boring potty trips. No bonus play.

Problem: My dog ignores the bell completely.
You likely moved too fast. Go back to pairing—you initiate the bell every time before opening the door.

Problem: My dog hits the bell randomly (not at the door).
That’s a placement issue. The bell should only exist at the exit point, not as a toy or loose object.

The Bigger Picture

This isn’t really about bells.

It’s about giving your dog a clear, reliable way to communicate a need—and reinforcing that communication every single time it happens.

When done properly, bell training doesn’t just prevent accidents—it builds confidence, reduces frustration, and strengthens the relationship between you and your dog.

And if we’re being honest… it’s also pretty satisfying the first time your dog rings the bell, looks at you, and says (without saying a word):

“Excuse me. I would like to step outside now.”

No puddles. No guessing. Just good communication.

If you want to take it a step further, you can expand this system later—different signals for different needs—but start here.

One bell. One door. One clear message.

Ring → door → done.

Coming soon on YouTube!

The Boneheads perform again! This time it’s all about spring… and all the mud it brings.

The Song is called “The Muddiest Time of the Year”

Check out all the latest videos at https://cricketchronicles.ca/videos

“The Bell That Broke the System”

Let me just say this right up front: the bell was not my idea. It started as what Dad called a “communication tool,” which, in my opinion, is just a fancy way of saying a thing I can use to get what I want. And I am very good with those.

The bell showed up one morning hanging on the back door—dingy, shiny, suspicious. Cricket noticed it first, obviously. She called it a “classical conditioning device,” something about pairing a stimulus with an outcome to shape behavior. Kevin said it looked like a “dingy door snack.” Me? I saw opportunity.

At first, Dad would take my face—my actual face—and gently boop it into the bell. Ding ding. Door opens. We go outside. Now, I don’t know what kind of system Dad thought he was building, but from where I was sitting, this was shaping up to be the easiest business model I’ve ever seen. Touch bell, door opens, outside happens. No applications, no interviews, no taxes.

For the first few days, I played along. I let him guide me, rang the bell, went outside, did the thing. But the whole time, I was watching. Learning. Calculating. Then came the breakthrough. One afternoon, I walked up to the door, looked at the bell, and gave it a tiny tap. Ding. Dad’s head snapped around like I’d just cracked a safe. “Biscuit! Did you just ring the bell?!” We locked eyes. We both knew. The system had been unlocked.

From that moment on, I became what experts would call a “high-frequency user.” Need to go outside? Bell. Want to go outside? Bell. Might want to consider going outside at some point in the next two to three hours? Bell. And here’s where Dad made his first critical mistake—every single time I rang the bell, he opened the door. No questions asked. No verification process. Just ding, door. It was chaos.

Kevin caught on quickly and asked if he could ring the bell too. I told him no—this was a licensed operation. He said he had to go potty. I told him so did I, emotionally. Meanwhile, Cricket had already identified the flaw. She pointed out that the system lacked discrimination and that Dad was reinforcing the behavior without context. Dad insisted I was communicating. Cricket corrected him—I was exploiting.

Then came the incident. It was a Tuesday afternoon—prime bell hours. I rang it. Door opened. We went outside. I did not go potty. Instead, I conducted a thorough 14-minute leaf inspection. We went back inside. Five minutes later, I rang it again. Door opened. Outside again. This time I investigated a rock. A very suspicious rock. It required attention. Back inside. Seven minutes later—ding ding ding. And this time… nothing.

I turned and saw Dad standing there, arms crossed. We had reached negotiations. He asked if I actually needed to go outside. I paused and asked him to define “need.” That’s when everything changed. Suddenly, outside trips became… boring. No wandering, no exploring, no perimeter checks for squirrels. We went out, stood in one spot, handled business, and came right back in. It was devastating. My entire operation reduced to efficiency.

Kevin was heartbroken—we never did get to properly finish investigating that rock. Cricket, on the other hand, was thrilled. She called it a functional system with clear parameters and appropriate reinforcement, which is exactly the kind of sentence she waits her whole life to say.

But here’s the thing—and I don’t say this lightly—the system works. Now when I ring the bell, Dad knows it means something. Not that I’m bored. Not that I want to revisit the leaf. Not that I’m running a side investigation. It means I need to go. And he listens. Every time.

So yes, the bell may have started as his idea. But make no mistake—I perfected it.

Now if you’ll excuse me… ding. This is a legitimate request. Probably.

— Biscuit ✔️

Biscuit shares her love of snow in one of her latest videos.

A word from our Sponsor:

Tired of news that feels like noise?

Every day, 4.5 million readers turn to 1440 for their factual news fix. We sift through 100+ sources to bring you a complete summary of politics, global events, business, and culture — all in a brief 5-minute email. No spin. No slant. Just clarity.

Join for free today!

Before you go…

Cartoon of the Week!

One of the most common beliefs among dog owners is that if a dog gets enough physical exercise, good behavior will naturally follow. Walk the dog long enough, throw the ball enough times, and eventually you’ll end up with a calm and cooperative companion.

Sometimes that works.

But often it doesn’t.

Many owners discover this the hard way when they return from a long walk only to watch their dog immediately begin barking at the window, stealing socks, or inventing creative ways to redecorate the living room.

The problem is simple: a tired body does not always mean a satisfied mind.

Dogs were not designed to simply burn energy by running in circles. For most of their evolutionary history they were problem-solvers, trackers, hunters, and partners in human work. Their brains evolved to process information, follow scents, solve challenges, and make decisions. When those instincts go unused, the brain starts looking for something to do.

And if the brain gets bored, it will invent its own entertainment.

Unfortunately, dogs are often terrible interior decorators.

Mental enrichment is one of the most powerful tools we have to improve behavior because it taps directly into how dogs naturally operate. When a dog is thinking, problem-solving, sniffing, and learning, the brain begins to tire in a way that pure physical exercise rarely achieves.

Five minutes of real thinking can sometimes equal the fatigue of a thirty-minute walk.

You see this clearly during training sessions. A focused ten-minute training game—working on tricks, shaping behaviors, or solving simple puzzles—often leaves a dog lying down afterward, quietly satisfied. Not because their legs are tired, but because their brain just finished a workout.

Sniffing is one of the simplest and most effective forms of enrichment. A dog’s nose is an extraordinary instrument, capable of detecting scents at levels humans cannot even comprehend. Allowing dogs to use that nose is mentally demanding in the best possible way.

This is why a “sniff walk” can be more enriching than a fast march around the block. When the dog is allowed to pause, investigate, and process the scent world around them, their brain is actively working the entire time.

Food puzzles and scent games are another excellent outlet. Instead of simply placing food in a bowl, scatter feeding in the grass or hiding treats around the house turns dinner into a small hunting expedition. The dog must search, investigate, and problem-solve to find the reward.

Suddenly dinner becomes an activity instead of an event that lasts eight seconds.

Training itself is also one of the best forms of mental exercise. Teaching a dog new skills—whether it’s basic obedience, tricks, or cooperative care—requires concentration and communication. Dogs enjoy learning when it is presented as a game, and the process strengthens the bond between dog and owner at the same time.

And here is the interesting part.

Many behavior problems are not actually caused by excess energy. They are caused by unused intelligence.

A clever dog with nothing to think about will invent jobs for itself. Guarding the window, reorganizing the laundry basket, or conducting unauthorized shoe inspections may not be the jobs we had in mind, but from the dog’s perspective they are perfectly reasonable projects.

Mental enrichment gives the dog a better job.

This doesn’t mean physical exercise isn’t important. It absolutely is. Dogs need movement, fresh air, and activity for both physical health and emotional balance. But exercise alone is only part of the equation.

A balanced dog usually has three needs met every day:

• Physical exercise
• Mental stimulation
• Social interaction

When all three are present, behavior tends to improve naturally.

What surprises many owners is how little time this actually requires. A few short training games, a scent hunt in the yard, or a puzzle feeder at dinner can dramatically change how a dog behaves throughout the day.

Instead of searching for trouble, the dog has already done meaningful work.

And like most of us after a productive day, they are far more inclined to relax afterward.

So if your dog seems restless, destructive, or endlessly energetic despite regular walks, the solution may not be longer walks.

It may simply be a better workout for the brain.

A tired body sleeps.

But a satisfied mind rests. 🐾

Today’s Question: “Cricket, how do dogs always know when it’s dinner time? My dog shows up in the kitchen at the exact same time every day.”

Cricket’s Answer:
That’s actually a very good question, and the answer involves biology, observation, and a little bit of human predictability.

Dogs have something called a circadian rhythm, which is essentially an internal clock. Their bodies learn when things usually happen—like walks, bedtime, and most importantly, dinner. After a while, their brain begins anticipating those events before they happen.

But that’s only part of it.

Dogs are also extremely good at detecting patterns in human behavior. If you usually feed your dog around 5:30, your dog has probably noticed several clues you don’t even realize you’re giving. Maybe you stand up from your chair, close your laptop, or walk toward the kitchen in a particular way. To a dog, those tiny signals are like a giant flashing sign that says:

“Food event approaching.”

And once a dog figures out the pattern, they start arriving early… just in case.

In fact, Kevin once began waiting by the food bowl forty minutes before dinner, which is not impressive timing, but it is impressive optimism.

So the short answer is: dogs don’t actually know what time it is.

They just know you very, very well. 🐾

Biscuit turns 6! … or is that 1? Problems with being born on February 29th. See our latest on YouTube!

Before you go: Mental stimulation is a win-win-win. You and your dog have fun together, your dog is exhausted, and your bond is that much stronger. Greg Burke

A Note from our Sponsor:

Smart starts here.

You don't have to read everything — just the right thing. 1440's daily newsletter distills the day's biggest stories from 100+ sources into one quick, 5-minute read. It's the fastest way to stay sharp, sound informed, and actually understand what's happening in the world. Join 4.5 million readers who start their day the smart way.

Join for free today!

Cartoon of the Week!

Want more tips, tricks, and tail-wagging tales? Visit our blog anytime at cricketchronicles.ca!

This isn’t just a cute story. There’s a point…

I had a plan.

It was a good plan.
It was calm, reasonable, and grounded in the belief that I was about to teach something useful.

This should have been my first warning.

The goal was simple: a quiet, focused training session. Five minutes. Maybe ten. Just enough to reinforce a few basics and end on a win. I had treats. I had time. I had optimism — which, in hindsight, was the real mistake.

Biscuit arrived first.

“I will be leading this,” she announced, climbing onto the mat I had just laid out. “I have already assessed the situation.”

I had not invited an assessment.

Kevin followed immediately behind her, sat down with great care, and whispered, “Is this a meeting?”

“No,” I said. “This is training.”

Kevin nodded. “Okay. I am ready for training meeting.”

Cricket did not sit. She stood off to the side, watching. Waiting. Evaluating. I could feel the math happening behind her eyes.

“Today,” I said, “we’re going to work on focus.”

Biscuit tilted her head. “Focus on what.”

“On me,” I said.

She considered this. “That seems inefficient.”

I ignored that and asked for a sit.

Kevin sat so hard he nearly tipped forward. Biscuit sat sideways, already scanning the room. Cricket did not sit at all.

“I am focused,” Biscuit said. “On the window, the door, and the possibility that something interesting could happen behind me.”

Cricket finally spoke. “Statistically speaking,” she said, “nothing interesting has happened during training in the last twelve sessions.”

“That’s because you’re not paying attention,” Biscuit replied.

I asked for a down.

Kevin collapsed like a sack of laundry. Biscuit lowered herself slowly, maintaining eye contact with me as if this were a negotiation. Cricket lay down only after I repeated the cue — because, as she later explained, “You didn’t say it with enough clarity the first time.”

This was minute two.

I tried again. Sit. Treat. Down. Treat. Stay.

“Stay how long?” Biscuit asked.

“Just a moment,” I said.

“A moment is not a unit of time,” she replied. “This lacks structure.”

Kevin, misunderstanding entirely, stayed very still and whispered, “I am staying forever.”

Cricket broke her stay to correct him. “That’s not what he means.”

“Well now I’m confused,” Kevin said, standing up. “Do I stay or not stay?”

No one was staying.

I took a breath. Reset. Calm energy.

“Okay,” I said. “Let’s try something else.”

Biscuit brightened immediately. “New plan. Excellent.”

I asked for eye contact.

Kevin stared into my soul. Biscuit glanced at me briefly, then returned to monitoring the room. Cricket made eye contact, blinked once, and looked away — because technically she had complied.

“That counts,” she said.

At this point, I realized the lesson I thought I was teaching — focus, patience, cooperation — was not the lesson actually happening.

The dogs were not learning to listen better.

They were learning exactly how predictable I was.

Biscuit had figured out when treats appeared. Kevin had learned that enthusiasm was always rewarded, regardless of accuracy. Cricket had confirmed that precision mattered more than speed, and that interruptions would eventually lead to clarification.

And me?

I was learning that training does not happen in straight lines. It happens sideways. Through misunderstanding. Through negotiation. Through moments where nothing goes according to plan, but everyone is still learning something.

I ended the session early.

“Good job,” I said, handing out final treats.

Biscuit nodded. “We will review your performance.”

Kevin wagged. “I liked the meeting.”

Cricket sighed, already moving on.

Later that evening, I thought about how often I decide a lesson should go one way — and how often real learning ignores that plan entirely. The dogs didn’t fail the session. They just taught a different lesson than the one I had prepared.

And maybe that’s how it’s supposed to work.

After all, if everything went exactly as planned, none of us would learn much at all.

Questions from readers, answered by the Pups!

Question: “Kevin, what do I do when my dog won’t focus during training and everything falls apart?”

Kevin answers:

Okay. First of all, I am very qualified for this question because I also do not focus during training.

Sometimes training starts, and I am doing great. I am sitting. I am staying. I am thinking about treats. This is productive.

But then my brain notices something else. A sound. A smell. A feeling. A thought about yesterday. Or tomorrow. Or the floor.

When that happens, the training does not fall apart. It just… becomes a different training.

I think when dogs don’t focus, it is not because they are being bad. It is because their brains are busy learning many things at once. Some of those things are not what you planned, but they are still important.

Also, sometimes it helps to stop. Or take a break. Or do something easier. Or say “good job” anyway, because trying is hard.

Cricket says this is called “adjusting expectations.”
Biscuit says this is called “negotiation.”

I think it is called doing your best.

— Kevin ✔️

If you want to see Biscuit “learning” healthy choices, you definitely want to see THIS video!

Before you go…

Cartoon of the Week!

And now a word from our sponsor:

What do these names have in common?

• Arnold Schwarzenegger

• Codie Sanchez

• Scott Galloway

• Colin & Samir

• Shaan Puri

• Jay Shetty

They all run their businesses on beehiiv. Newsletters, websites, digital products, and more. beehiiv is the only platform you need to take your content business to the next level.

🚨Limited time offer: Get 30% off your first 3 months on beehiiv. Just use code PLATFORM30 at checkout.

Start building for 30% off today.

Three Shelties. One house. Plenty of opinions.

How to Teach the Twirl on Cue

by Biscuit

Hello. Biscuit here.

Today we are discussing spin.
Spin is a professional maneuver.
Spin is not “going in circles for no reason,” despite what Dad claims.

Spin is:

• elegant

• strategic

• excellent for morale

And also very fun.

Let’s begin.

What Is Spin?

Spin is when your dog rotates in a smooth, controlled circle on cue.

Not flailing.
Not panic-turning.
Not “I saw something behind me.”

A deliberate spin.

This is important.

Why Spin Is a Valuable Skill

Some people believe tricks must be “useful.”

Incorrect.

Spin:

• builds body awareness

• improves coordination

• warms up muscles

• looks extremely impressive in the kitchen

Also, once you know spin, you are very close to:

• twirl

• reverse spin

• dramatic exit

This is called career development.

How to Teach Spin (The Biscuit Method)

Step 1: Acquire Treat

This is critical.
Do not proceed without it.

Hold the treat close to your dog’s nose.
Slowly move it in a circle toward their shoulder.

If your dog follows the treat and turns their body — congratulations.
They are cooperating.

Reward immediately.

Step 2: Name the Action

Once your dog reliably completes the circle, say the cue before you move the treat.

“Spin.”

Say it confidently.
This is not a suggestion.

Spin → treat → joy.

Repeat.

Step 3: Fade the Bribe (Politely)

Gradually reduce the size of the hand motion.

The goal is:

• cue word

• small hand signal

• spin

• reward

This creates a professional relationship, not a dependency.

Common Spin Problems

(And Why They’re Not the Dog’s Fault)

• Dog only spins halfway
  That is a conceptual draft. Reward progress.

• Dog spins in the wrong direction
  That is creative interpretation.

• Dog spins repeatedly without being asked
  That is enthusiasm.
  Or capitalism. Hard to say.

Advanced Spin

(Optional but Encouraged)

Once spin is solid, you may explore:

• spinning both directions (I call counter clockwise “twirl”)

• chaining spin into other tricks

• spinning dramatically before sitting

This is called presentation.

Biscuit demonstrating the “spin trick”.

Final Notes on Spin

Spin should be:

• fun

• fast

• rewarding

If frustration appears, stop.

Training should feel like teamwork — not a hostage negotiation.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have completed three spins already and would like compensation.

Spin Control

by Biscuit

There has been a misunderstanding in this household. Humans believe we are being taught spin. This is incorrect. What is actually happening is that we are teaching humans spin.

Cricket figured this out first. She noticed that if she spun slowly and precisely, she received a treat. If she spun again, she sometimes received another. This was carefully documented. Kevin, inspired by her success, attempted spin immediately. He spun once, then again, then again, and then fell over. This was not spin. This was a spin-adjacent incident. Dad clapped anyway. This is how standards collapse.

I observed quietly. The key insight became clear very quickly: humans respond positively to rotation. Therefore, rotation is leverage.

Now, when Dad says “spin,” I comply once. Professionally. Then I stop and make eye contact. If a treat appears, I spin again. If not, I remain perfectly still. This is called negotiation.

Cricket refers to this system as “variable reinforcement.” Kevin calls it “whee.”

Either way, the system is working.

— Biscuit ✔️

If you want to see Biscuit apply this level of confidence to business, here’s one of her latest video.

Before you go…

Cartoon of the Week!

Home Vet Check: 5 Things to Check Weekly

Be your pup’s first line of defense

Most health problems in dogs don’t arrive with flashing lights and sirens. They start quietly — a small change in breath, a new lump, a little soreness your dog can’t quite explain. The good news? You don’t need a stethoscope or a veterinary degree to catch many of these early.

A simple weekly “home vet check” can make a real difference. Think of it as preventative care you do in slippers, not scrubs. Five minutes. Five checks. Big peace of mind.

Here’s how to become your dog’s first line of defense.

1. Eyes, Ears & Nose: Start With the Face

Your dog’s face tells you a lot — if you know what “normal” looks like.

Eyes:
They should be clear, bright, and free of discharge. A small amount of morning “sleep” can be normal, but redness, cloudiness, squinting, or thick discharge is not.

Ears:
Take a quick look and a gentle sniff. Healthy ears are pale pink and don’t smell much at all. Redness, head shaking, scratching, or a yeasty odor can signal infection — especially in floppy-eared breeds.

Nose:
A dog’s nose doesn’t need to be cold or wet to be healthy, despite the myth. What matters is cracking, sores, heavy discharge, or sudden color changes.

Weekly habit: Look, sniff, note changes. Consistency is everything.

2. Mouth & Teeth: The Often-Ignored Red Flag Zone

Dental issues are one of the most common — and most overlooked — health problems in dogs.

Lift the lips and check:

• Gums should be pink, not pale, red, or inflamed

• Teeth shouldn’t have heavy yellow or brown buildup

• Breath shouldn’t make you physically recoil

Bad breath isn’t “just dog breath.” It can point to dental disease, infection, or even systemic issues.

Bonus tip: If your dog resists mouth checks, go slow. Treats help. So does pretending this is no big deal (dogs are excellent drama detectors).

Kevin always eager to get a taste of that toothpaste!

3. Skin, Coat & Lumps: Hands Are Better Than Eyes

This is where a gentle weekly “pet scan” really shines.

Run your hands slowly over your dog’s body:

• Feel for new lumps, bumps, or thickened areas

• Check for scabs, sores, or flaky skin

• Notice coat changes — dullness, thinning, or excessive shedding

Not every lump is dangerous. Many are benign fatty tumors. But new, fast-growing, or hard, fixed lumps are always worth noting.

Rule of thumb: If it’s new, changing, or worrying you — write it down and keep an eye on it.

4. Paws & Nails: The Daily Workhorses

Paws take a beating, and dogs are famously stoic about foot pain.

Check:

• Between toes for redness, swelling, or debris

• Pads for cracks, cuts, or dryness

• Nails for splitting, excessive length, or broken quicks

Don’t forget dewclaws if your dog has them — they don’t wear down naturally and can curl painfully.

Seasonal note: Winter salt and summer pavement both cause paw issues. Weekly checks help you catch problems before limping starts.

5. Movement, Mood & “Is This Normal?”

This final check isn’t hands-on — it’s observational.

Ask yourself:

• Is my dog moving the same way as usual?

• Any stiffness getting up or reluctance to jump?

• Eating, drinking, and bathroom habits unchanged?

• Energy level normal for my dog?

You know your dog’s baseline better than anyone. Subtle changes often show up here first — long before a vet visit would.

Trust your instincts. “Something seems off” is valid data.

Why This Matters

Weekly home checks don’t replace veterinary care — they support it. Catching issues early can mean:

• Simpler treatments

• Less discomfort for your dog

• Lower stress (and often lower costs)

Just as importantly, these checks build trust. Your dog learns that being handled gently is normal and safe, which makes grooming and vet visits easier down the road.

Make It a Ritual

Pick a day. Same couch. Same order. Same calm energy.
Five minutes once a week can quietly add years of comfort to your dog’s life.

You don’t need to diagnose. You just need to notice.

And honestly? That’s something you’re already very good at.

Cartoon of the Week!

A word from our Sponsor:

A big 2026 starts now

Most people treat this stretch of the year as dead time. But builders like you know it’s actually prime time. And with beehiiv powering your content, world domination is truly in sight.

On beehiiv, you can launch your website in minutes with the AI Web Builder, publish a professional newsletter with ease, and even tap into huge earnings with the beehiiv Ad Network. It’s everything you need to create, grow, and monetize in one place.

In fact, we’re so hyped about what you’ll create, we’re giving you 30% off your first three months with code BIG30. So forget about taking a break. It’s time for a break-through.

Start building for 30% off today.

Questions from Fans, answer from the Pups!

Question: “Cricket, my dog always seems to know when we’re about to leave the house—even before we grab the leash or keys. How does she know?”

Cricket answers:
Excellent question. This is a classic case of pattern recognition, not magic or mind reading.

Dogs are extremely good at tracking sequences of human behavior. You may think leaving the house is a single action, but to a dog it’s a predictable chain: you stand up differently, your footsteps change, you check the time, you put on shoes in a specific order, or you stop doing ‘sit-down activities’ like typing or eating.

Your dog has observed this routine hundreds of times and formed a reliable internal model:
If Human does A, then B happens. If B happens, I should get excited.

This is the same learning process used in basic machine learning—just with fur and fewer spreadsheets.

So no, your dog isn’t psychic. She’s simply very good at data analysis… and unfortunately, you are extremely consistent.

—Cricket ✔️

Every episode, Biscuit, Cricket or Kevin (you choose) will comment on one short message or question from a reader. Feel free to send in a photo if you’d like. We might be able to use it! So think of a good one and send all questions and comments to cricket@cricketchronicles.ca (mention it’s a question for “Bark & Forth”).

Last chance to get your

2026 Cricket Chronicles Calendars!

Click the Calendar Pic of your choice to get to the purchase page!

The Classic Movie Pups - 2026 Edition

The Classic Pups - 2026 Edition

And new Merchandise Designs

The Chronicle Photo Vault

Bisky Cereal - 2020-05-09

Want more tips, tricks, and tail-wagging tales? Visit our blog anytime at cricketchronicles.ca!

What’s New on The Cricket Chronicles

My Dog Explains Why Cleaning Her Room is a TERRIBLE Idea 😂🐶 Click to Watch on YouTube

My Dogs Perform a Christmas Song About Daddy’s Cooking Disaster 😂🎄 Click to Watch on YouTube

Christmas Morning With My Dogs 🎄🐶 (Pure Chaos & Cuteness) 🐶💕🎄 Click to Watch on YouTube

Ho Ho Ho! And it WASN'T a DREAM! 😴🎅🏼🐶 Click to Watch on YouTube

CLICK TO SUBSCRIBE TO YOUTUBE →

From the Net! Pet news!

Woman Converts Old School Bus Into Doggy Day Care Transport for Dozens of Pups and 'Each Day Is an Adventure' (Exclusive)

Hope Mehlberg started K9 Konvoy in 2021 before making it her full time job in 2023

people.com/woman-converts-school-bus-into-doggy-day-care-pickup-exclusive-11879453

Firefighters Take Time to Rescue Missing Pet on Narrow Cliff Because 'Dogs Are Worth Saving'

A dog in Nelson County, Va., was rescued after blending in with a dangerous cliff over a river. The Wintergreen Fire and Rescue said that the dog had been missing for over 24 hours before being spotted halfway down a rock face.

people.com/firefighters-take-time-to-rescue-missing-dog-camouflaged-on-dangerous-cliff-11884043

Calm their inner watchdog while keeping your sanity intact

If you live with a dog, chances are you also live with a window that has become a high-traffic security checkpoint.

A jogger passes.
A stroller rolls by.
A neighbor commits the unforgivable crime of walking on the sidewalk.

Bark. Bark. Bark.

For Sheltie households in particular, this scenario feels less like a coincidence and more like a job description. And while it’s easy to label window barking as “bad behavior,” the truth is far more interesting—and far more fixable.

Why Dogs Bark at the Window

(It’s Not Just Because we’re Dogs)

At its core, window barking is a combination of territorial instinct, visual triggers, and reinforcement history.

Dogs evolved to notice movement. Windows are essentially giant motion screens showing unpredictable activity, often right at eye level. Every passerby activates your dog’s natural “alert” system.

Add in a few key factors:

• Territory: Your dog views your home—and often the sidewalk in front of it—as theirs.

• Unclear outcomes: The person always leaves (which your dog may believe is because of the barking).

• Adrenaline: Barking releases energy and stress hormones. It feels productive.

From your dog’s perspective, this is a wildly successful system.

Why Yelling “It’s Fine!” Doesn’t Work

Here’s the inconvenient truth: yelling at your dog to stop barking often adds fuel to the fire.

From your dog’s perspective, you’re:

• Also reacting loudly

• Facing the same direction

• Seemingly participating in the alert

So while it feels like you’re correcting, your dog may interpret it as, “Yes, this is serious. Thank you for confirming.”

Not ideal.

The Goal Isn’t Silence—It’s Control

Let’s reset expectations.

You are not trying to eliminate barking entirely. Barking is communication. What you want is shorter, calmer responses and a dog who can disengage on cue.

Think: “Thanks, I’ve got it.”

Training Techniques That Actually Work

1. Block the Rehearsal

If your dog practices window barking all day, they’re getting better at it.

• Use window film, curtains, or furniture rearrangement to limit direct access

• Create “no-window” zones during peak activity hours

This isn’t defeat—it’s strategy.

2. Teach an Alternate Behavior

Dogs can’t bark and do something else at the same time.

Train a simple replacement:

• Go to mat

• Sit behind you

• Check in with eye contact

Reward heavily when they choose the alternate behavior before the barking escalates.

3. Catch It Early

Once barking hits full volume, learning stops.

Watch for the pre-bark signs:

• Stiffening

• Ear position change

• Closed mouth stare

Interrupt calmly and redirect before the explosion.

4. Desensitize the Trigger

Pair passersby with good things.

• Person walks by → treat appears

• Person disappears → treats stop

Over time, the emotional response shifts from alert to anticipation of reward.

This is slow work. It’s also very effective.

What Not to Do (Even Though It’s Tempting)

• Don’t punish barking after the fact

• Don’t rely on spray bottles or startle techniques

• Don’t expect instant results

Fear-based suppression may quiet the bark, but it doesn’t change the emotion driving it. That’s how you end up with quiet dogs who are still stressed.

The Big Picture

Window barking isn’t a moral failing. It’s a dog doing what dogs have done for thousands of years—watching, alerting, protecting.

Your job isn’t to shut it down. It’s to teach your dog when to stand down.

With clear expectations, consistent training, and a little management, even the most dedicated window sentry can learn that not every passerby requires a full announcement.

And if your Sheltie still insists on keeping an eye on the neighborhood?
Well… at least someone’s taking the job seriously.

Cartoon of the Week!

Science facts, carefully sniffed and thoroughly verified

Today’s Question: Why do dogs bark so much at things outside the window?

Hello. Cricket here.

Barking is not random noise. It is a form of communication, and from a scientific perspective, it’s actually quite sophisticated.

Dogs bark more when they can see movement but cannot interact with it. Windows create a unique problem: your brain sees a person, a dog, or a squirrel, but your body cannot investigate or resolve the situation. This mismatch increases arousal and frustration, which often results in barking.

There is also a learning component. When a dog barks at someone outside and that person eventually leaves, the dog’s brain may conclude that the barking worked. This is called reinforcement, even if the human was leaving anyway.

Studies show that repeated exposure to the same trigger—without any change in outcome—can strengthen the barking response over time. In other words, practice makes louder.

Interestingly, dogs with higher intelligence and stronger herding instincts (like Shelties) are often more sensitive to movement and more motivated to monitor their environment. This makes them excellent watchdogs… and very dedicated window supervisors.

In conclusion:
Your dog is not barking to annoy you.
They are responding to visual information, stress, and learned patterns.

Understanding that is the first step toward changing it.

—Cricket ✔️

The 2026 Cricket Chronicles Calendars are HERE!

Click the Calendar Pic of your choice to get to the purchase page!

The Classic Movie Pups - 2026 Edition

The Classic Pups - 2026 Edition

And new Merchandise Designs

Tails from the Doghouse

by Biscuit

Hello. Biscuit here.
I would like to address a serious misunderstanding currently happening in this household.

Everyone thinks the barking-at-the-window situation is a “training issue.”
Incorrect. It is a security operation.

Now, I personally do not bark at the window. I am management. I delegate. Cricket handles surveillance because she enjoys charts, patterns, and being absolutely correct about strangers.

Every day she sits at the front window like a tiny, fuzzy gargoyle, watching the sidewalk. Waiting. Listening. Judging.

Then—BOOM.

“MAILMAN.”

This is not random barking. This is a formal announcement. The mailman appears daily, which is suspicious. Why does he keep coming back? What is he planning? Why does he carry papers if not to document us?

Delivery people are worse. They drop boxes and leave. That is not normal behavior. Cricket alerts us because she cares about safety, logic, and not being surprised by cardboard.

Daddy says, “It’s okay, Cricket.”
Cricket says, “NO IT IS NOT.”

Daddy is now trying to “train it out.” He gives treats when she stops barking. I believe Cricket sees this as hazard pay. Bark. Pause. Snack. Resume watching.

Honestly, if Cricket ever didn’t bark at the window, I would be concerned. What if the mailman stole our house? What if a jogger walked by without being emotionally prepared?

So yes, training is happening.
But so is vigilance.

And if the mailman is reading this:
We see you.

The Chronicle Photo Vault

Baby Biscuit 05/22

Want more tips, tricks, and tail-wagging tales? Visit our blog anytime at cricketchronicles.ca!

What’s New on The Cricket Chronicles

My Dog Sent a RANSOM NOTE to Santa! 🎅🦌 (Accidentally) Click to Watch on YouTube

My Dog Reviews Christmas Songs and Finds SERIOUS Problems 🎄🐶 Click to Watch on YouTube

My Dogs think Christmas is Really Weird! Click to Watch on YouTube

My Dogs Played "Carol of the Bells" on TOILET PAPER?! 🧻🔔🐶 Click to Watch on YouTube

CLICK TO SUBSCRIBE TO YOUTUBE →

From the Net! Pet news!

The Best New Pet Products That Lasted Through Weeks of Slobbering, Gobbling, Snoozing, and Clawing

PEOPLE staffers worked with their cats and dogs to test the pet beds, treats and toys that came out this past year, and these are their favorite new pet products.

people.com/people-pet-awards-2025-best-new-pet-products-11872576

Rescue Dogs Find Adoption Success After Going for a Ride in N.Y.C. Influencer's Viral Backpack (Exclusive)

Bryan Reisberg and his corgi Maxine went viral on social media, for the way the influencer commutes through N,Y,C. with the dog in his back pack. Now, Reisberg is taking shelters dogs on adventures in the bag

people.com/pet-influencer-helps-rescue-dogs-find-homes-with-back-rides-in-nyc-exclusive-11869427

Here’s a hard truth that doesn’t get enough airtime in cute dog videos: most canine emergencies start with something a dog picked up before a human could react.

Chicken bones on the sidewalk. A dropped pill. Chocolate within counter-surfing range. A “mystery snack” found in the grass that absolutely did not come from nature.

If there is one cue that deserves a spot in the “this could literally save your dog’s life” category, it’s Leave It.

Not “leave it… no… stop… DROP IT—”
Just Leave it. Clean. Immediate. Non-negotiable.

And yes, I’m going to argue that this command matters more than sit, shake, or any trick that earns applause from guests.

What “Leave It” Actually Means

(and Why Most Dogs Don’t Really Know It)

Here’s where people get tripped up.

A true Leave It does not mean:

• “You can look at it for a while”

• “You can sniff it”

• “You can grab it if I don’t notice fast enough”

• “You can take it later”

It means:
Disengage immediately and permanently unless released.

That’s it.

The problem is that many dogs are taught a watered-down version. Owners say “leave it” while the dog is already chewing. Or they repeat it six times while the dog debates whether the forbidden item is worth the lecture.

By then, the command has become background noise.

A real Leave It is proactive, not reactive. It prevents the grab in the first place.

Why This Matters More Than You Think

Dogs explore the world with their mouths. That’s normal. What’s not normal is how dangerous our human environment is for them.

Consider just a few common hazards:

• Cooked bones (especially poultry) splinter easily

• Chocolate toxicity varies by type and size of dog

• Xylitol (gum, baked goods) can be deadly in minutes

• Medications dropped on the floor

• Rodent bait or compost scraps outdoors

You won’t always see the danger before your dog does. You will sometimes be distracted. That’s reality.

Leave It buys you time. Sometimes, it buys you a vet bill. Sometimes, it buys you your dog’s life.

Teaching Leave It the Right Way (Not the Instagram Way)

Let’s strip this down to fundamentals.

Step 1: Start Boring on Purpose

Begin with a low-value item in a closed fist. Say “Leave it” once. When your dog stops trying to get it—even for a split second—mark and reward with a better treat from your other hand.

Key point:
👉 The reward never comes from the thing they’re leaving.

This teaches the core concept: disengaging pays better than grabbing.

Step 2: Open Hand, Same Rule

Once your dog reliably backs off, open your hand. If they move toward it, close it. If they hesitate or pull away, reward.

You’re teaching impulse control, not frustration tolerance.

Step 3: Ground Work

Place the item on the floor under your foot. Same cue. Same rule. Calm success equals reward. Lunging gets nothing.

Step 4: Real-World Objects

Now rotate in real hazards—wrapped, controlled, and supervised. Food scraps. Tissues. “Street snacks.”

This is where most people skip ahead and then wonder why it fails outside.

The Devil’s Advocate Moment (Yes, You Need This)

Here’s the uncomfortable part:
If your dog ignores Leave It outdoors, the problem is almost never the dog.

It’s usually:

• Too many repetitions of the cue

• Training only indoors

• Reward value too low

• Expecting obedience without proofing

Dogs don’t generalize well. “Leave it” in the kitchen does not magically transfer to a park full of goose poop and chicken wings.

That’s not disobedience. That’s biology.

Leave It vs. Drop It (They Are Not the Same)

Quick clarity check:

• Leave It = Don’t touch it in the first place

• Drop It = You already messed up, now fix it

You want both. But if I had to choose one in a true emergency scenario, I’d take Leave It every time.

Prevention beats negotiation.

The Long Game: Calm Dogs Make Better Choices

One last point that doesn’t get said enough.

Leave It works best when it’s not shouted, emotional, or panicked. Dogs read tone faster than words. If every “leave it” comes with tension, your dog will hesitate—or freeze—or gamble.

Train it calmly. Reinforce it generously. Use it sparingly and clearly.

You’re not just teaching a command.
You’re installing a safety system.

Final Thought

We found that out the hard way, how important it is to teach “leave it”. When Biscuit was just a puppy, she found a mushroom and decided to chew on it. She instantly became lethargic and sickly with excessive drooling. Luckily, we had seen her in the act and got her to throw up with an emergency dose of Hydrogen Peroxide (taught to me by my uncle who was a vet). She quickly recovered and let’s just say, learned her lesson that day!

Your dog doesn’t know what’s poisonous. They don’t know what’s expensive, dangerous, or irreplaceable. You see, dogs know patterns. They know outcomes. They know whether listening to you consistently works in their favor.

Teach Leave It like it matters—because one day, when something hits the ground that really shouldn’t be eaten, it will.

And you’ll be very glad your dog already knows exactly what to do.

Cartoon of the Week!

Myth: Pet insurance doesn’t cover everything

Many pet owners worry that insurance won’t cover everything, especially routine care or pre-existing conditions. While that’s true in many cases, most insurers now offer wellness add-ons for preventive care like vaccines, dental cleanings, and check-ups, giving you more complete coverage. View Money’s pet insurance list to find plans for as low as $10 a month.

Protect your pet

Science facts, carefully sniffed and thoroughly verified

Today’s Question: Why do dogs sniff everything like it’s their job?

Hello. Cricket here. Before anyone says “because dogs are weird,” please know that this is not the correct scientific answer.

Dogs experience the world primarily through smell, not sight. While humans have about 5–6 million scent receptors, dogs have up to 300 million, depending on the breed. That’s not a small difference. That’s a completely different operating system.

But here’s the part most people don’t realize: when a dog sniffs, they aren’t just smelling an object. They’re gathering information about time, direction, emotional state, diet, and even health. Scent particles linger, which means dogs can tell who was there, where they went, and how long ago it happened.

Dogs also have a specialized organ called the vomeronasal organ (also known as Jacobson’s organ). This allows them to detect chemical signals—like pheromones—that humans can’t perceive at all. So when your dog stops mid-walk to intensely sniff a single blade of grass, they’re essentially reading a very detailed message board.

In conclusion:
Sniffing is not a delay tactic.
It is research.

And as a scientist, I fully support thorough data collection.

—Cricket ✔️

The 2026 Cricket Chronicles Calendars are HERE!

Click the Calendar Pic of your choice to get to the purchase page!

The Classic Movie Pups - 2026 Edition

The Classic Pups - 2026 Edition

And new Merchandise Designs

Questions from Humans - answered by Dogs

“Hi Kevin! Why do dogs tilt their heads when we talk to them?”

Kevin’s Answer:
Hi. Kevin here.

I tilt my head because I am listening very hard.

Sometimes when humans talk, they use lots of words all at once! It can be too much for me. So, like tipping a box of ceweal, I tilt my head so all the words slip wight through my bwain and fall on the floor.

Also, I have noticed that when I tilt my head, humans smile and make their voice nicer and often get me a tweat! This makes me think tilting my head is a vewy good idea.

I don’t know if this works for evewy dog, but it works for me.

—Kevin 🐶

Every episode, Biscuit, Cricket or Kevin (you choose) will comment on one short message or question from a reader. Feel free to send in a photo if you’d like. We might be able to use it! So think of a good one and send all questions and comments to cricket@cricketchronicles.ca (mention it’s a question for “Bark & Forth”).

The Chronicle Photo Vault

Baby Biscuit (05-20)

Want more tips, tricks, and tail-wagging tales? Visit our blog anytime at cricketchronicles.ca!

What’s New on The Cricket Chronicles

Biscuit’s Christmas Gift MASTERPLAN… Completely Backfires 😂🎁 Click to Watch on YouTube

8 Minutes of Biscuit Running (ruining???) the Household 😭🐶😂 Click to Watch on YouTube

Baby Kev’s First Day of School Prep… Biscuit Style 🤦‍♀️🐶 Click to Watch on YouTube

My Shelties React to the Doughboy’s “Death” 😭🥐 (sooo sad!) Click to Watch on YouTube

CLICK TO SUBSCRIBE TO YOUTUBE →

From the Net! Pet news!

Bride and Groom's Dog Steals the Show by Photobombing Wedding Portraits with a Hilarious Act (Exclusive)

Wedding photographer Tamara Langmaid captured a bride and groom's pet dog in a hilarious photobomb moment. 'Sometimes the imperfect, unexpected moments become the most memorable of all,' she tells PEOPLE.

people.com/dog-steals-the-show-by-photobombing-wedding-portraits-with-a-hilarious-act-exclusive-11870047

Pet Lovers' Choice Awards: All About the New Hollywood Awards Show That Your Pet Could Win!

The inaugural Pet Lovers' Choice Awards will culminate in a live event hosted by Gabriel "Fluffy" Iglesias in Los Angeles on Feb. 24, with the event later airing on national television in March.

people.com/pet-lovers-choice-awards-about-hollywoods-new-award-show-for-pets-11871100

The Chronicles (the best newsletter for dog lovers) publishes the first and third Thursday of every month! Enjoy this week’s edition.

The Bow Trick!

Perfect for the end of a show—or just dinner.

Also: why this trick helps with stretching! :: by Biscuit

Hello my sparkly stardust students, it’s your resident celebrity—ME, Biscuit—reporting live from the living room stage where I perform for an audience of one (Daddy), who always gives standing ovations even when I’m just eating cheese.

Today’s spotlight trick: TAKE A BOW — the grand finale move every superstar should know. It’s classy, it’s adorable, and it makes humans gasp like they’ve never seen a dog bend in half before. And guess what? It doubles as a stretch! Yep. A trick that’s good for your body and your ego. My two favorite things.

Let’s get bow-ing!

Why Learn “Take a Bow”?

First, it looks fancy. I mean, REALLY fancy. Whenever I bow, Daddy claps so hard his hands go blurry. Kevin thinks that’s because he’s actually vibrating, but no—he’s just excited.

Second, the bow position stretches your shoulders, your back, and your tummy in a way that feels chef’s kiss. It’s like doggy yoga, but without the other dogs judging you for falling over.

And third… well, it’s a great way to end ANY routine. You could literally knock over a lamp, pretend it was part of the act, and bow. Humans will forgive EVERYTHING.

Trust me. I have tested this.

STEP 1: Start with a Standing Position

(Or in my case, the “I promise I wasn’t doing anything suspicious” pose.)

Have your human get you standing nice and tall. You’re not doing a down yet—no collapsing to the floor like Kevin when he thinks he hears the vacuum. Standing is important because the bow comes from standing.

Training Tip from Biscuit:
If you don’t feel like standing, just pretend a treat is calling your name. Works every time.

STEP 2: Lure the Head Down

Your human will take a treat (preferably cheese, but apparently “healthy snacks” are a thing now—tragic) and slowly lower it straight down between your front paws.

The goal is for your front end to go down…
while your back end stays UP.

Basically, imagine you're stretching to sniff a suspicious cookie crumb but don’t want your tail to look lazy.

If you accidentally flop into a full down, that’s okay! Just pop back up and try again. I did the flop about, oh… fifty times. On purpose, obviously. There was a treat involved. Sometimes, Daddy would keep one arm under my belly and lure with the other so he could remind me to keep my butt up (as if I needed that!).

STEP 3: Mark the Moment!

The second you hit the right position—front down, bum up—your human should say “YES!” or click the clicker if they’re fancy. Then they give you the treat.

Celebrate! Wag like your tail is a party streamer.

When I first tried this, Daddy said “YES!” so loudly I thought he won the lottery. Spoiler: he did not. I checked.

STEP 4: Keep It Quick at First

Most pups can only hold the bow for half a second in the beginning, which is fine. You’re not trying to win a modeling competition (unless you are—in which case, call me, I know people).

Just dip, get rewarded, and reset.

Over time, you’ll naturally hold it longer. I now bow for a full three seconds, which according to Kevin makes me “basically a ballerina.”

STEP 5: Start Adding the Cue

Once you’re consistently bending down with the treat lure, it’s time to name the trick. Your human will say something like:

• “Take a bow!”

• “Bow!”

• “Showtime!”

• “Pretend you’re grateful!”

Okay maybe that last one is just Daddy.

Your owner must say the cue before the lure, so eventually you understand the words come before the action.

I prefer the cue “TA-DAAAAAA!” because it makes everything feel dramatic, but Daddy says that’s “not standard,” whatever that means.

STEP 6: Fade the Lure, Keep the Glory

Gradually, the treat should disappear from your nose area. Your human might lower their hand without food in it. You’ll still bow, because by now you’re a professional.

This is a great time to introduce applause. I adore applause. It tastes better than cheese. (Almost.)

Fun fact: Kevin bows by accident every time he sneezes. Nobody tell him—he thinks it’s a superpower.

STEP 7: Add It to Your Routine

Now for the fun part!

Do a trick you love—sit pretty, spin, high-five, bark at trespassers who dare to walk in front of your house — then finish with a TAKE A BOW and your audience will lose their tiny human minds.

Try performing after dinner when your humans are full. A full human is a generous human.

Kevin and I in mid bow (I think he’s going to sneeze!)

A Stretching Bonus!

Did you know the bow stretch helps warm up your body before zoomies? Cricket says it “activates core muscles.” I say it “makes my tummy feel less like I ate too many snacks.” Both are true.

Daddy now asks us to bow before training sessions. He calls it “preventing injury.” I call it “mandatory cheese warm-up.” Win-win.

Parting Wisdom from Biscuit the Bow Queen

If you learn only one thing from me today, let it be this:

A well-executed bow makes everyone think you’re well-behaved—even if you absolutely are not.

And if you learn TWO things:

Always bow FIRST, then steal the snack. Timing is everything.

Now go practice, superstars!
Take a bow. Take two. Take three. You deserve all the applause.

Cartoon of the Week!

🧐 Cricket’s Canine Conundrum 🐶

Welcome back to my corner of the newsletter—where we temporarily set aside Biscuit’s dramatic storytelling, Kevin’s enthusiastic misunderstandings, and Daddy’s questionable snack-control strategies to focus on something truly important: logic.

In each conundrum, I present a puzzle designed to stretch your brain the same way a proper warm-up stretch prepares us for zoomies. Consider this your mental “take a bow”—a small challenge to keep your reasoning skills flexible, focused, and slightly superior to everyone else’s.

Ready to put your neurons to work? Excellent. Let’s begin.

🎄 Cricket’s Christmas Gift Math 🎄

Cricket wants to buy gifts for her siblings. She spends twice as much on Biscuit as she does on Kevin. If she spends $42 total and each gift cost a whole dollar amount, how much did each gift cost?

(the solution is found later in the newsletter)

Myth: Pet insurance doesn’t cover everything

Many pet owners worry that insurance won’t cover everything, especially routine care or pre-existing conditions. While that’s true in many cases, most insurers now offer wellness add-ons for preventive care like vaccines, dental cleanings, and check-ups, giving you more complete coverage. View Money’s pet insurance list to find plans for as low as $10 a month.

Protect your pet

The 2026 Cricket Chronicles Calendars are HERE!

Click the Calendar Pic of your choice to get to the purchase page!

The Classic Movie Pups - 2026 Edition

The Classic Pups - 2026 Edition

🧠 Cricket’s Canine Conundrum Solution! 🐶

Answer: Biscuit’s gift = $28, Kevin’s gift = $14.

Explanation:
Let Kevin’s gift = x.
Then Biscuit’s = 2x.
So x + 2x = 42 → 3x = 42 → x = 14 → Biscuit = 28.

The Chronicle Photo Vault

Biscuit going for a ride! 05/20

Questions & Comments from Fans

Question from Marjorie in Vermont:
“Biscuit, why does my dog bark at the doorbell every single time it rings?”

---

Biscuit’s Answer:
Oh Marjorie… sweet summer Marjorie. Your dog isn’t barking at the doorbell. Your dog is performing an ancient emergency ritual to protect your home from The Doorbell Demons.

Let me explain.

Humans think a doorbell is a “pleasant chime.” Dogs know the truth: It is the universal sound of INCOMING CHAOS. It could be a package. It could be a neighbor. It could be the dreaded mailman! It could be ONE OF THOSE CLIPBOARD PEOPLE WHO WANT YOU TO SIGN THINGS! We never know. So we bark.

But your dog isn’t just barking randomly—oh no. Each bark has a specific purpose:

• Bark One: “I have detected a threat!”

• Bark Two: “Family, assume your battle positions!”

• Bark Three: “Kevin, stop hiding behind the plant!”

• Bark Four: “If it’s a squirrel in disguise I SWEAR I’ll lose it.”

We tend to keep going because you humans NEVER respond appropriately.
Like, instead of growling at the door to intimidate the intruder, you open it and say things like, “Hello! Come on in!”

Anyway, the point is: Your dog is not misbehaving. Your dog is a guardian, a warrior, a sound-sensitive security system with paws. If you want them to stop barking at the doorbell, you have two options:

1. Remove the doorbell.

2. Remove all doors.

Or, I recommend option three: Just give your dog a snack and thank them for saving your life. Because honestly? They kind of did.

Every episode, Biscuit, Cricket or Kevin (you choose) will comment on one short message or question from a reader. Feel free to send in a photo if you’d like. We might be able to use it! So think of a good one and send all questions and comments to cricket@cricketchronicles.ca (mention it’s a question for “Bark & Forth”).

Want more tips, tricks, and tail-wagging tales? Visit our blog anytime at cricketchronicles.ca!

What’s Coming Saturday on YouTube?

The pups are writing letters to Santa! Be sure to tune in!

What ELSE is New on The Cricket Chronicles

Our Camping Trip Went FERAL 😳🐾 (Biscuit’s Ninja Snake Incident) Click to Watch on YouTube

Our Dog Says Thanksgiving Grace… and It Gets Weird 🦃🤣🐶 Click to Watch on YouTube

Biscuit Gets Fired… AGAIN?! (The Calendar Factory Disaster) Click to Watch on YouTube

Biscuit “Fixes” the Kitchen… by Selling EVERYTHING We Own 😱😂 Click to Watch on YouTube

CLICK TO SUBSCRIBE TO YOUTUBE →

From the Net! Pet news!

Woman Spends $25K to Clone Her Cat After Pet's Untimely Death, Calls It 'One of the Best Decisions' (Exclusive)

Kelly Anderson decided to clone her cat Chai after the pet's shocking death in 2017. Now Chai's clone, Belle, carries on the original feline's legacy

people.com/woman-spends-25000-to-clone-cat-after-pets-death-exclusive-11860952

Raccoon Goes on 'Liquor-Fueled Rampage' After Breaking into Alcohol Store — and Is Later Found Passed Out By the Toilet

Hanover County Animal Protection officers were called to a Virginia liquor store where a raccoon had broken in, ransacked the store's shelves, and passed out face-down in a bathroom after his "liquor-fueled rampage," the agency said.

people.com/raccoon-goes-on-liquor-fueled-rampage-after-breaking-into-liquor-store-11860960

Please consider helping us out by sharing this newsletter with all the other pet lovers you know! Click the link!

The Perfect Stay – Even with Distractions

(The 3D Method: Duration, Distance, and Distraction—now featuring squirrels in tutus.)

If you’ve ever tried to get your dog to “stay,” you know it’s like asking a toddler to balance a cookie on their nose while you leave the room. For a dog, “stay” means resisting every natural instinct: chasing squirrels, greeting guests, licking the peanut butter spoon, and, in Biscuit’s case, launching a new business venture called Stay? Nay! Inc.

But a solid stay is one of the most useful—and sanity-saving—skills a dog can learn. Whether it’s keeping your pup safe at a crosswalk or helping them pose for a photo without photobombing themselves, mastering “stay” gives you the kind of control that feels like magic.

Except it’s not magic. It’s the 3D Method: Duration, Distance, and Distraction. Let’s unpack each “D,” one fur-covered disaster at a time.

1. Duration – The Art of Waiting Without Losing Your Mind

We start with duration, which simply means how long your dog can hold the position. The key word here is start. Biscuit’s first “stay” lasted approximately half a second before she broke into a jazz paws routine. Kevin didn’t move, but only because he fell asleep sitting up. And Cricket? She just sighed and asked if this experiment had been peer-reviewed.

To build duration, think tiny increments. Ask for a stay, count “one-Mississippi,” reward, release. Gradually build to longer intervals. Don’t be tempted to go from two seconds to two minutes overnight—unless you enjoy watching your dog’s brain melt into chaos.

The trick is to end before your dog decides to move. Every time they succeed, they’re learning, “If I hold still, I get paid.” Every time they fail, they’re learning, “If I move, Dad sighs dramatically and reaches for more treats.” Guess which lesson sticks faster?

Kevin has always been our watch-dog

2. Distance – The “Don’t Follow Me” Phase

Once your dog can stay put for a little while, it’s time to add distance. This is where most dogs assume you’ve lost your mind. “Wait—you’re leaving? Without me? You said forever, Dad!”

Start small. Take one step back, then return and reward. Gradually build more distance, but always come back to the dog to deliver the treat. Otherwise, you’ll turn the exercise into a game of “Catch Dad Before He Escapes.”

With Kevin, this stage was easy—he’s convinced the ground is made of lava unless I say otherwise. Biscuit, however, treated every added step as a countdown to freedom. If I took two steps back, she took three forward—usually to renegotiate her contract.

To make it fun, try “musical stays.” Move around like you’re doing interpretive dance while your dog stays put. (Bonus points if your neighbors can see you through the window.)

3. Distraction – The Final Frontier

And now…the big one. Distraction.

This is where all your hard work is truly tested. Because let’s be honest—every dog can stay perfectly still when nothing interesting is happening. But add a little real-world chaos—doorbells, kids, or, heaven forbid, a squirrel in a tutu—and suddenly your “perfect stay” turns into an interpretive performance of Canine Ballet: Act One—Chase of Destiny.

Start with mild distractions and build up slowly. Drop a toy, clap your hands, do a little jump. Reward your dog for ignoring each one. Over time, increase the challenge: have a family member walk past, toss a ball nearby, or wave a slice of cheese.

With Cricket, distractions weren’t the problem—she actually tutted at me once for being the distraction. But Biscuit… oh boy. During one session, a leaf blew by, and she was off like the Flash determined to end it’s life! Kevin followed suit, and suddenly my front yard looked like my tissue box… shredded bits everywhere!

The lesson? Keep sessions short, fun, and end on success. The goal is not perfection—it’s progress.

Bringing It All Together

When you combine all three Ds—Duration, Distance, and Distraction—you’ll have a “stay” so reliable you could balance a pizza on your dog’s head while the mail carrier drops off 47 Amazon boxes.

But remember, dogs don’t generalize well. Just because your Sheltie can stay in the kitchen doesn’t mean they’ll do it at the park, where the grass smells like 400 squirrels in tutus. Practice in different places, with different noises and smells, and keep reinforcing that “stay” means “freeze now, treats later.”

Final Thoughts from the Home Front

In our house, the “stay” command isn’t just training—it’s therapy. It’s me taking a breath before Biscuit steals another slipper. It’s Kevin learning patience (which he confuses with napping). And it’s Cricket sighing, “Finally, an experiment that makes sense.”

So, next time you practice “stay,” think of it less like a command and more like a superpower. You’re not just teaching your dog to hold still—you’re teaching them trust, focus, and that magical moment where chaos pauses for just… one… perfect… stay.

Cricket’s Tip: “Technically, it’s Pavlovian conditioning, but sure, Dad—call it magic.”
Biscuit’s Tip: “If you want me to stay, put peanut butter on the floor.”
Kevin’s Tip: “I stayed! Do I get a nap now?”

Cartoon of the Week!

Tails from the Doghouse

The Great Vacuum Rebellion
By Biscuit

I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty brave. I’ve faced thunder, bath time, and even Cricket’s “pop quiz” about photosynthesis. But today… today I met my match.

Daddy rolled it out from the closet—The Vacuum. The Growling Carpet Eater. The Plastic Beast of Doom.

Kevin immediately dove behind the couch yelling, “It’th alive!” and I don’t blame him. I tried to act cool—gave it the ol’ “You don’t scare me” side-eye. But when it roared to life, I bolted.

Cricket, of course, said, “It’s just suction and air pressure, Biscuit. Completely harmless.” Then she stood there, analyzing it. Who does that? The thing literally eats our hair for fun (not to mention dirt and small bits of rock)!

So, naturally, I had to protect my family. I barked. Not just any bark—a heroic bark. The kind you use when defending your home from intruders, mail carriers, or Daddy when he’s wearing his balaclava. The vacuum lunged forward, so I lunged back. We had ourselves a good old fashioned standoff.

Daddy said, “Biscuit, calm down,” but no. Calm is for losers. This was war. I circled it like a wolf. It circled me like an idiot on wheels. I was winning—until it wrapped its tail (cord) around my paw. I may have screamed a little. Kevin may have fainted. Cricket probably didn’t even notice because she was taking notes.

Daddy finally turned it off. The silence was deafening. I sniffed it. Dead. I had saved us all.

Cricket patted my head. “Very brave,” she said. “Utterly unnecessary, but brave.” Kevin hugged me and whispered, “You’re my hewo, Bithkit.”

So yeah, the house is safe again. But I’m keeping an eye on that closet. Because one day… that thing’s coming back to life. And when it does, I’ll be ready—with my battle bark and a full bag of emotional support treats.

The 2026 Cricket Chronicles Calendars are HERE!

Click the Calendar Pic of your choice to get to the purchase page!

The Classic Movie Pups - 2026 Edition

The Classic Pups - 2026 Edition

The Chronicle Photo Vault

The great sleeper: 04/20

Bark & Forth

Questions & Comments from Fans

“Hi Kevin! What do you want to be when you grow up?” — Lacey from Toronto

Kevin:
Oh boy! That’th an eathy one! I wanna be a mailman! They get to drive a cool twuck and make everyone bark with exthitement! Every day they come to our houthe and everyone cheerth! (Well… maybe it’th yelling, but it thoundth happy.) Pluth, they have that magical bag full of paperth that make Daddy thay wordth I’m not allowed to wepeat.

But Kwikit thaid the mailman ithn’t actually a hero, and Biscuit thaid he deliverth billth, which are like evil letterth that thteal tweat money. Hmmm. tho now I’m thinking maybe I’ll be a fire hydrant inspector inthted. They theem very important.

Every episode, Biscuit, Cricket or Kevin (you choose) will comment on one short message or question from a reader. Feel free to send in a photo if you’d like. We might be able to use it! So think of a good one and send all questions and comments to cricket@cricketchronicles.ca (mention it’s a question for “Bark & Forth”).

Want more tips, tricks, and tail-wagging tales? Visit our blog anytime at cricketchronicles.ca!

What’s New on The Cricket Chronicles

Dear Grandma, You Won’t Believe What Happened Camping 🏕️🐶🐶 Click to Watch on YouTube

Our Camping Trip Got Even Weirder 😱 (Rain-Gnomes & Spider Dogs!) Click to Watch on YouTube

Baby Kevin Rants About Fall 🍂😭 (Pumpkin Spice Ruined My Life!) Click to Watch on YouTube

Our little girl just turned 12! 💕🐶🎂 Click to Watch on YouTube

CLICK TO SUBSCRIBE TO YOUTUBE →

From the Net! Pet news!

Police Discover Mysterious Lion-Like Animal in the Woods Is Actually a Dog

Amid all the laughs, the USPCA issued a warning stating that proper grooming of the animal would have avoided the confusion and also may not be the best decision for the breed.

people.com/police-discover-mysterious-lion-like-animal-in-the-woods-is-actually-a-dog-11844496

Classic Pet Name Returns to the Top Spot on 2025’s Most Popular Dog Names List

The American Kennel Club shared its Top 10 lists for the most popular female and male dog names of 2025, with Max and Luna claiming the top spots

people.com/classic-dog-name-reclaims-top-spot-on-most-popular-dog-names-of-2025-11849037

by Greg, also known as “Daddy” on our YouTube Channel.
 

Also resident snack dispenser and chauffeur to three Shelties.

Quick introductions in case you’re new here: I live with three Shetland Sheepdogs (Shelties). Biscuit is our sassy middle child who believes every snack is legally hers. Cricket is the logical oldest—she loves data and will fact-check my jokes. Kevin is the sweet youngest who volunteers for everything, including things he doesn’t understand (like taxes). Together they’re the stars of our skits—and the inspiration for today’s topic: helping dogs stay calm during grooming.

If your dog treats the nail clipper like a weapon and the dryer like a dragon, you’re not alone. The answer isn’t “hold tighter.” It’s desensitization: teaching your dog, step by tiny step, that grooming = safe, predictable, and is often paid in chicken.

---

Step 1: Set the Scene (Short & Sweet)

What you need

• Soft treats, pea-sized (lots)

• A clicker or a crisp “Yes!” as a marker

• Nail clippers or a grinder, a soft brush, a towel

• A non-slip mat (yoga mat works)

How we work

• 60–120 second mini-sessions, 2–4 times a day

• End while your dog still wants more

We call the mat the “Spa Mat.” First session: Biscuit arrived wearing sunglasses and demanded cucumber water. I compromised with cheddar.

Step 2: Teach a “Start Button” (Dog Controls the Pace)

A start button is a simple behaviour that means, “I’m ready.” My favourite is a chin rest.

1. Lure your dog’s chin onto your open palm or a rolled towel.

2. Mark (“Click/Yes”), then treat.

3. Add a cue like “Chin.”

4. Build to 2–3 seconds of comfortable chin-on-hand.

Important: If the chin lifts, you pause. That little bit of control makes dogs feel safer. Kevin nailed this in two sessions and now clocks in like a tiny professional.

Step 3: The Touch Ladder (Desensitization in Tiny Steps)

Climb from easy to challenging only when your dog looks relaxed:

1. Look at the tool (clippers/brush on the floor) → Mark/treat.

2. Tool moves slightly → Mark/treat.

3. Tool touches your hand → Mark/treat.

4. Tool touches your dog’s shoulder for ½ second → Mark/treat.

5. Longer contact (1–2 seconds).

6. One tiny action (single brush stroke or brief clipper touch).

7. A real rep (one snip or quick grinder tap).

Rule of thumb: move up only if you get 4 out of 5 calm successes. If you see flinching, lip-licking, turning away, or freezing, drop down a step. Cricket approves this metric.

Step 4: Tackle the “Scary Stuff” Separately

Clippers/Grinder (sound + vibration)

• Start with sound only at low volume (phone video works). Mark/treat.

• With the tool off, touch the handle to your dog’s shoulder → Mark/treat.

• Turn it on and briefly touch your own arm first (yes, you).

• Then a ½-second touch on the dog’s shoulder, not the paw yet → Mark/treat.

Dryer

• Dryer in the room, off → Treat.

• Turn on across the room for one second, then off → Treat.

• Gradually increase time and get closer. Begin with towel + a low setting on your dog.

Ears/Tail

• Practice gentle holds (ear fold, tail hold, paw squeeze). Each hold earns a treat.

• Tail helicoptering? Too fast. Back up.

Step 5: Nails Without Drama

Pick one approach and stick with it for two weeks:

A) Clippers

• Touch toe pad → Treat.

• Touch nail with clipper → Treat.

• Micro-clip the tip (think fingernail dust) → Jackpot.

• Start with one nail per session. That’s progress.

B) Grinder

• After preparing your pup with sound/vibration work at a distance: one ½-second tap per nail.

• Treat when the grinder is off (mark calm, not chaos).

C) Scratchboard (great for sensitive dogs)

• Angle a sandpaper board.

• Smear a line of peanut butter above it.

• Shape a paw swipe—self-manicure! Kevin considers this “art.”

Step 6: Make It Predictable (Patterns Calm Brains)

• Use a countdown: “1…2…3—touch.” Treat.

• Keep a consistent order (LF, RF, LR, RR).

• End with an easy trick (spin, sit) and a little bonus snack.

Biscuit expects a post-spa cheese cube. If I forget, she files a complaint with HR (Her Royalty - also known as my wife!).

Step 7: Prepare for the Real Groomer

• Lobby visits only: Drop in just to eat treats on the mat. No services.

• Go-bag: high-value treats, a small mat square, and a note with your dog’s cues (“Chin,” countdown), handling preferences, and stop signal (lifting chin = pause).

• Ask your groomer: Can we use lick mats? Are breaks allowed? How do you record stress? Good groomers welcome these questions.

Red flags: “We don’t use treats,” heavy restraint as Plan A, or “We just get it done.” That may “work,” but it damages trust.

Troubleshooting

• Shaking before starting: You’re already over threshold. Play a calm mat game and stop for today.

• Great at home, rough at salon: Practice in the car, parking lot, and a friend’s house. Lower criteria in new places.

• Accidentally cut the quick: End the session. Treat generously, play a sniff game, restart tomorrow. Protect the “trust bank.”

• Chronic panic: Talk to your vet about pre-visit meds. Training and medication can be teammates for the very stressed dog.

Spa day DEFINITELY includes eating the cucumber slices!

The Payoff

After three weeks of micro-sessions, Kevin parked his chin on the towel and offered a paw like a tiny union worker: “Time-and-a-half for dewclaws.” Cricket watched with a spreadsheet and a satisfied nod. Biscuit arrived in a bathrobe, requested “spa jazz,” and fell asleep mid-brush. That, friends, is progress.

Start small. Pay well. Let your dog control the pace. Do that, and grooming day shifts from “nightmare” to “ordinary errand with cheese.” Which, around here, counts as luxury.

Cartoon of the Week!

The 2026 Cricket Chronicles Calendars are HERE!

Click the Calendar Pic of your choice to get to the purchase page!

The Classic Movie Pups - 2026 Edition

The Classic Pups - 2026 Edition

Cricket is Turning 12!

Hard to believe, but our little Cricket is turning 12 on November 9th! And she’s ruled the roost for 12 years! Our little brainiac has faced some challenges in her life (gall bladder removed, losing her sight bit by bit, slowly going deaf, and she grinds down her nails down when she walks on pavement). BUT no grey hairs??? She looks eternally youthful! Happy birthday little girl!

The Chronicle Photo Vault

Cricket under 1 year old!

Bark & Forth

Questions & Comments from Fans

Question from Finn from Pennsylvania: “Hey Cricket, I’m still sad that Pluto was demoted from planetary status. What are your feelings on this?”

Cricket’s Answer: Oh, Finn, believe me—I felt that demotion in my soul. Imagine waking up one day and finding out your teacher erased your name from the science poster! Poor Pluto didn’t change—humans just changed their definition. (Classic move, by the way.)

Personally, I think Pluto is still a planet at heart… just a fun-sized one. If it orbits the sun, has feelings, and tries its best—that’s planetary enough for me.

Besides, if we start kicking out celestial bodies for being small, Kevin’s gonna get nervous every time we count how many “little” dogs live in this solar system!

Every episode, Biscuit, Cricket or Kevin (you choose) will comment on one short message or question from a reader. Feel free to send in a photo if you’d like. We might be able to use it! So think of a good one and send all questions and comments to cricket@cricketchronicles.ca (mention it’s a question for “Bark & Forth”).

Want more tips, tricks, and tail-wagging tales? Visit our blog anytime at cricketchronicles.ca!

What’s New on The Cricket Chronicles

Funny Dog Steals Dad’s Slipper! 🩴💨 | Biscuit’s Great Slipper Heist Click to Watch on YouTube

Dog Ghost Hunters Catch a REAL Ghost?! 😱🐶 (Halloween Skit) Click to Watch on YouTube

Biscuit does NOTHING all day! 😆🐶 Click to Watch on YouTube

Biscuit is a REAL challenge in Kindergarten! Click to Watch on YouTube

CLICK TO SUBSCRIBE TO YOUTUBE →

From the Net! Pet news!

Van Gogh the Rabbit Born Without Ears Gets Crocheted Gift to Blend in with Family

A rabbit born without ears got a special surprise from a farmer who crochets on the side. Van Gogh, born at Smithills Open Farm in England, donned a pair of gray and pink fluffy ears to fit in with his siblings.

people.com/rabbit-born-without-ears-gets-crocheted-pair-11836042

Service Dog Separated from 5-Year-Old with Type 1 Diabetes Alerts Mom About His Low Blood Sugar from Car (Exclusive)

One mother was sitting outside her son's preschool when his service dog alerted her that his blood sugar had dropped, despite being nowhere near her son. Aubrie Lewis tells PEOPLE she "couldn't believe" the dog could sense her son's medical needs so far away.

people.com/service-dog-alerts-low-blood-sugar-from-car-exclusive-11836915

“Bang! You’re Dramatic!”
How to Teach Play-Dead (Oscar Not Included)

Hello, humans. Biscuit here — your coach for turning ordinary dogs into award-winning drama llamas. Today I’m training you to train your dog to perform the “Bang!” play-dead trick: flop to the side and freeze like they’ve been struck by… a marshmallow (though real marshmallows will be VERY distracting so don’t go there). Your job? Follow directions, pay well (in snacks), and try not to overact. Ready? Roll camera.

---

The Gear & Ground Rules

• Reinforcers: pea-sized soft treats your dog loves. Keep 30–50 handy. Yes, really. Actors need craft services.

• Clicker (or verbal marker): click = “Yes, that!” If no clicker, use a crisp “Yes!”

• Mat or non-slip surface: we’re flopping, not skating. The carpet in my basement is where I learned it.

• Session plan: 3–5 mini-sessions/day, 1–2 minutes each. High success rate; stop while your dog wants more.

Marker timing: Click the instant you see the behavior you want, then treat. Click = promise of payment. Don’t click late. Don’t click twice for one rep. (I’m looking at you, Daddy)

---

Stage 1 — Foundation: Down & Side (Lure or Capture)

If your dog doesn’t know Down, teach that first. Otherwise, from a Down:

Option A: Lure & Click

1. Kneel beside your dog. Hold a treat at their nose.

2. Slowly move the treat toward their shoulder/neck so their head follows and weight tips.

3. As the spine folds and they roll onto one hip/side, click, then feed 2–3 treats low near the floor.

4. Reset to Down; repeat 5–8 reps.

Option B: Shape/Capitalize on natural movement

1. Wait for tiny shifts toward a hip. Click the micro-shift. Then Treat!

2. Raise criteria gradually: shift → elbow tuck → partial side → full side.

3. Keep your rate of reinforcement high (8–12 clicks/minute). If it drops, your criteria are too hard.

Goal: Dog willingly flops onto their side with relaxed shoulders/hips when you present the hand motion (or when they offer it). When you can get 4/5 successful flops in a row, move on.

Pro tip: Feed near the floor and slightly behind the shoulder you want them to “fall” to the right spot — food placement shapes body placement.

---

Stage 2 — Add the “Dramatic Freeze”

Play-dead isn’t just “on side”; it’s on side + stillness.

1. When your dog hits the side position, click for a one-second freeze, then treat.

2. Grow the duration in tiny steps: 1s → 2s → 3s (click the stillness, then feed).

3. For flair, mark any natural “chin down,” paw limp, or soft eyes. That sells the scene.

Criteria creep check: If your success rate dips below ~80%, shorten the duration or make the lure smaller. We build drama, not frustration.

---

Stage 3 — Put It on Cue (“Bang!”)

1. Do your familiar hand motion. As your dog begins the flop, say “Bang!” once (finger-point optional).

2. Click when they’re on their side and still. Treat generously.

3. After 10–15 reps, fade the hand motion: make it smaller each time until the verbal “Bang!” alone gets the flop.

Don’t “poison” the cue: No nagging “Bang! bang! bang?” One clean cue. If no response in two seconds, reset and make it easier next rep.

---

Stage 4 — Polish the Performance (Add Drama… Safely)

Want gasps? Layer in theatrics after the core behavior is reliable. Choose one at a time:

• Slow-motion collapse: click/treat the slower descent in pieces.

• Tongue-peek or paw-twitch: capture natural variations; mark the ones you like.

• Head drop on cue: teach a tiny “Chin” cue while on side (lure chin to floor, click, treat); chain it after “Bang!”

Safety note: Never cue flops on slick floors, stairs, or concrete. We’re acting, not auditioning for an injury.

We’re not interested in getting hurt no matter WHAT the treats are!

---

Stage 5 — Fade the Food, Keep the Joy

• Move from continuous reinforcement (every correct rep) to variable (e.g., 3/4, then 1/2), but keep surprise jackpots for extra drama.

• Insert non-food reinforcers your dog actually likes (toys, brief chase, happy voice, sniff break).

• Keep sessions short and fun. Stars don’t rehearse till they hate the script.

---

Troubleshooting (Biscuit’s Blunt Notes)

• “My dog won’t roll to the side.” Lower the bar. Click teeny weight shifts. Use a higher-value treat. Lure slower and closer to the shoulder. Feed from the ground, not your face.

• “They pop right back up.” You clicked the flop but never reinforced stillness. Add duration in 1-second slices. Feed while they’re down.

• “They flop only with a big hand wave.” You forgot to fade the lure. Shrink the motion each session. Click only when the motion is smaller than last time.

• “They ignore ‘Bang!’ in new places.” Generalize. Practice on different mats, rooms, angles, with mild distractions. Lower criteria at first, then rebuild.

• “They seem nervous.” Stop. Switch to easier behaviors + high-value treats. Use a comfy mat. Acting should feel like a game, not a courtroom drama.

---

Generalization & Proofing (Make It Stage-Ready)

• Practice in 3–5 locations this week. New room = easier criteria + fast treats.

• Add tiny distractions: you seated vs. standing, different finger angle, soft background sounds.

• Keep the cue clean: say “Bang!” once, pause, then help if needed. We’re teaching listening, not guessing.

---

Biscuit’s Director’s Cuts (Advanced)

• True Dramatic Acting: Take the trick to the next level! Once your pup is on their side awaiting a release, you can encourage them to flip over onto their back to make the audiences howl. Introduce a curled body so they can stay on their back easier (it’s way to hard to balance if we’re straight like a hotdog!). You can encourage the flip to the back by luring with treats, and/or gently tapping our tummy to remind us (worked well for me!).

• Distance work: Add half-steps back before cueing. If performance drops, step in, help, and build back out.

• Costume drama: Tiny hat or prop? Introduce separately with cookies until it predicts fun, then combine.

• Comedy beat: After a 3-second “death,” cue a snappy “Alive!” (release word) and party. The contrast kills. Figuratively.

I’m pretty well a natural at this trick 🐾

---

Final Call

You don’t need talent agents—just good timing, tiny steps, and terrific snacks. Mark the moment, pay the actor, and keep expectations clear. Do that, and your dog will hit the deck like a Shakespearean star felled by a flying marshmallow—audible gasps guaranteed.

Now go rehearse. I expect opening-night footage… and royalties in chicken.
— Biscuit 🐾 (Your director, lead actress, and very fair treat negotiator)

Cartoon of the Week!

Bark & Forth

Questions & Comments from Fans

Question (from “Perpetually One-Socked in Ottawa”):
Biscuit, why does my dog keep stealing my socks, and how do I make it stop?

Biscuit answers:
Ah, classic case of Textile Relocation Syndrome (TRS). Totally real. I discovered it last Tuesday while eating a waffle. Here’s the science: socks are social herd animals that travel in pairs. When separated by laundry goblins, they panic and emit a frequency only dogs can hear—specifically the note between “E” and “snack.” Your dog isn’t “stealing”; he’s rescuing.

Now, to fix it (you’re welcome):

1. Re-pairing Protocol:
   Conduct a nightly Sock Reunion Ceremony. Hold up two socks and solemnly say, “Bonded and beholden.” Dogs respect pageantry. If you’re short a partner, substitute a tortilla. Works 60% of the time.

2. Ethical Sock Decoys:
   Provide a sanctioned stash: three “decoy socks” pre-scented by your ankle (walk in them, then do a single celebratory lunge). Place them in a basket labeled “For Heroic Rescues Only.” Dogs love a job title.

3. Anti-Heist Engineering:
   Install a Sock Dock (that’s a shoebox) by the washer. Train yourself to deposit socks immediately. Reward yourself with a grape. (Dogs don’t like grapes - they make us throw up; do not share. We have lawyers.)

4. Currency Reform:
   Convert socks into a treat-backed economy. Every time your dog returns a sock, pay one treat and stamp a loyalty card. Ten stamps = one “Tax Refund Meatball.” Suddenly, your dog is the IRS.

5. Public Relations:
   When guests arrive and your dog parades a sock like a parade float, calmly announce, “He’s head of Textile Safety.” Confidence is 87% of training.

Socks can be a LOT of fun!

If all else fails, switch exclusively to toeless socks (a.k.a. “leg warmers”). Dogs can’t steal what doesn’t actually exist. That’s called loophole-based obedience, and it’s how Evil Inc. is… wildly successful.

You’re welcome. Now go praise your little Fabric Lifeguard—and please send any unclaimed socks to my research lab. For science. And naps.

Every episode, Biscuit, Cricket or Kevin (you choose) will comment on one short message or question from a reader. Feel free to send in a photo if you’d like. We might be able to use it! So think of a good one and send all questions and comments to cricket@cricketchronicles.ca

Want more tips, tricks, and tail-wagging tales? Visit our blog anytime at cricketchronicles.ca!

What’s New on The Cricket Chronicles

Baby Kev has a GREAT Halloween joke! Click to Watch on YouTube

Biscuit Thanksgiving Grace is one of a KIND! 😆🍗 Click to Watch on YouTube

Dogs Go FULL Halloween Mode 🎃👻 Click to Watch on YouTube

My Puppy has a LOT of Attitude! 🐾🐶😡 Click to Watch on YouTube

CLICK TO SUBSCRIBE TO YOUTUBE →

The Chronicle Photo Vault

Biscuit meeting the family!

Working on tricks since day 1!

From the Net! Pet news!

Police Dog Helps Locate 2 Missing Children Separated From Family in Expansive National Forest

Deputy Cody Loncaric’s K9 partner, Knox, helped the Brown County Sheriff’s Office successfully locate two missing children who became separated from their mother in Hoosier National Forest

people.com/police-dog-helps-locate-2-missing-children-in-hoosier-national-forest-11826367

Bastian, the World's Cutest Rescue Dog Winner, Went from Hurricane Floodwaters to Talking with 100 Buttons (Exclusive)

Bastian the rat terrier mix won the 2025 PEOPLE's World's Cutest Rescue Dog Contest Presented by the PEDIGREE® Brand. The 7-year-old dog is well-known on Instagram for using a communication board with around 100 buttons

people.com/worlds-cutest-rescue-dog-contest-2025-winner-11825709