New Internet

Why people don't read books.

Paul Carleton — Sun, 01 Oct 2023 05:00:00 +0000

Larry has not read the book “Debt: The First 5000 Years”. The book looks like this:

It is a 544-page dense read.

The truth is, Larry doesn’t read that much at all. But he does spend a lot of time recommending books to others.

Larry has heard of many nonfiction books. He knows the general topic of the book. And when someone mentions that topic, he is sure to recommend a book.

The problem is… he hasn’t actually read it.

Maybe he’s listened to the author on a podcast or simply heard others recommending it. So he passes on the “favor”.

Larry is not alone, a LOT of people do this.

Books primary spread by word-of-mouth, like this:

Those three people, mention it to three more people.

We end up with a lot of people knowing about a book, but very few having actually read it.

This is unsurprising. Reading a book is hard. It is time-consuming. It’s difficult to fit it in around the busyness of daily life.

Like meditation—there are far more people who say they do it, than actually do it.

If you were to ask Larry why he recommends a book that he hasn’t read, he’d say he’s just being “helpful”. And he is being helpful… sort of.

What Larry is really doing, is engaging in a status game. But he probably doesn’t know it.

This is not a slight against Larry. It is not bad or wrong, and certainly not unique to him either. We all play status games all the time, often unknowingly. It’s a game we can’t escape. Within a group of people, we all want to be loved and respected. We humans have the desire to climb the social ladder in a never-ending status game.

The reason Larry recommends books he hasn’t read, is because doing so makes him look intelligent to others.

The Status Game, a book by Will Stor (with a witty book cover) expands on this concept, detailing the three games we play:

1. Dominance: This is the "I'm the boss, and you're gonna do what I say" approach to the status game.

It's all about flexing your muscles (literally or metaphorically) and showing everyone who's in charge. In this mode, you're the top dog, and you get status points by making sure everyone else knows it.

2. Prestige: The "I'm so good at this thing, people can't help but admire me" approach.

Prestige is all about being super talented, knowledgeable, or just plain awesome in some way, and letting your skills speak for themselves. In this mode, you're the cool kid who everyone wants to hang out with, and you gain status points by earning the respect of your peers.

3. Virtue: Finally, there's the "I'm such a good person, people look up to me" approach.

Virtue is being kind, generous, and morally upstanding. It's about doing the right thing, even when no one's looking.

Books fall into the “prestige” category. If you read books, you must be intelligent. The social circle gives you status because books still hold a special place in our society.

Back in the 15th century, having access to books was an absolute privilege. Only the most wealthy and noble people were able to afford such luxuries. Books gave you knowledge about how the world works, a massive advantage in life. And that gave you status.

Mass communication and knowledge transfer mediums evolved over time: books, radio, tv.

The Internet birthed: email, blogging, podcasts, youtube, and social media.

Despite such accessibility to these mediums, books have remained at the top of the knowledge transfer hierarchy:

When building my prior company, NonFiction (a book publishing house), we relied on the fact that books had status. Our clients wanted to become authors and be known as experts in their fields (and make more money).

Our brains chunk information and use shorthand to navigate the world, so people see it like this:

Author of a book = expert
Reader of a book = intelligent person

That’s why becoming an author works.

Either way, being associated with books gives you status. Some of the status human society has placed on books, for thousands of years, rubs off on you.

What Larry figured out, is that you don’t actually have to read the book—you just have to know of its existence. Others will assume you’ve read it.

A shortcut! Larry has hacked the system. He gains prestige and social status by recommending books he’s never read.

Larry is feeling good. But really… Larry is only cheating himself.

He’s missing out on the best part: engaging in thoughtful dialogue and wonderful discussion with the person he recommended it to after they read it.

Now let me clarify—I'm not saying read the entirety of every book. Many books lack the substance to justify their existence and they'd be better off as blog posts. You can often get the nugget of insight within the first few chapters of a book.

I view books as flexible references for dipping in and out as needed. If a book is crap, don’t read it. I stop reading books all the time and am a big advocate for book-quitting. If you’re finishing every book you start, you’re probably not being stringent enough (or you’re outstanding at book selection).

Here’s what I do instead: Recommend chapters.

Anyone can read one chapter. If someone actually cares about the topic and wants to learn, they’ll be willing to put in the effort to get the book, and dedicate some time to reading a single chapter.
It won’t take 6-20 hours. Probably only 20-45 minutes, very doable.
Then, maybe they’ll read the rest of the book (or not!)

This is what separates the talkers from the doers.

If you’ve simply heard of a book, but haven’t read it, of course you can mention it. Just do one thing… disclose that you haven’t read it!

The book might be helpful, or, it might totally suck — you don’t know cause you haven’t actually read it. Endorsing it blindly comes back to bite you in the bum when you do read it and realize you don’t find it interesting at all.

I try not to be intellectually lazy. When giving someone a book, explain your takeaway or how it changed your thinking.

“Have you read Atomic Habits by James Clear? It’s a really great book about habits,” is too vague.

“My biggest takeaways were in chapter 6, ‘Motivation Is Overrated; Environment Often Matters More’. It got me to optimize my physical cues in my house...” This sort of thing adds so much more color to your interaction and recommendation.

So, to be true to my word, here are a couple of chapter recommendations to start you off:

“Hell yeah, or No” - by Derek Sivers.
- Chapter 2: "You don’t have to be local"
  - A beautiful take on feeling connected to multiple locations, and how to balance local community and global scale.
“When I Stop Talking, You'll Know I'm Dead” - by Jerry Weintraub.
- Chapter: “Star of Ardaban”
  - A heartwarming story about “packaging” and the importance of attracting a crowd.
“Thinking in Bets” - by Annie Duke.
- Chapter 1: “Life is Poker, Not Chess”
  - The most practical takeaway of the book is this chapter about judging a decision only by its outcome, without considering how it was made, aka “resulting”.

Let me know what chapters you recommend!

P.S. This whole thing was about nonfiction books, obviously this won’t work with fiction.

30 Lessons I Wish I Knew Before 30

Paul Carleton — Sun, 11 Jun 2023 05:00:00 +0000

This is the Roman Emperor Nero:

He died at 30. I’ve officially lived longer than an emperor!

To celebrate, here are 30 tidbits of unsolicited life advice, in no particular order, for my younger self.

Health

Daily running is one of the best habits you can have.
- You can do it anywhere.
- You’re guaranteed endorphins every time you run, forever.
- It provides dedicated time for learning (podcasts and audiobooks), rather than scheduling learning time.
Learn to love yoga and/or stretching.
- You’re inevitably getting older, and stiffer. Staying limber is the solution. (Grandma -96 yrs old- still stretches every night! If she can, so can you).
Learn to estimate calories.
- Our family isn’t very health-centric. But turns out calories aren’t just Jenny Craig mumbo-jumbo — turns out it’s a real thing.
- Don’t get it confused with kilojoules.

Wealth

Building wealth occurs as a result of the vehicle you choose, rather than how hard you work.
- Look at anyone who is uber-rich, they are “close to the money”. They’ve raised money, sold something, or taken slices from high-value transactions.
- The cruel part is that local business owners often work just as hard.
The power of money is that it allows you to NOT do things.
- People think money buys freedom. Money's best benefit is that it buys you freedom FROM things, not necessarily the freedom to do things.
Wealth = being able to do what you want, when you want, with who you want, for as long as you want.
- Being wealthy in the broadest sense is also connection to people you respect (and having them respect you back) — because you can't buy that.

Love & Relationships

Small interactions with strangers bring joy
- Daily micro-interactions have a disproportionate effect on your overall life happiness. You’ll discount it, but it works.

Prioritize building relationships by scheduling time for meeting new people.
- When you move on to a new endeavor, often people are the only asset you'll be able to take with you.
- Don't be afraid to excuse yourself (politely) if you're bored — but don't write anyone off.
Every problem can be solved with the right relationship.
- Rather than research, or diving in — get in touch with someone who already knows.
Expose yourself to as many different groups of people as possible
- Weak ties present more opportunities than strong ties. You never know who you'll cross paths with later.

Life

Life is (actually) long.
- You have enough time to build the life you want. But know that as you get older, time will feel like it’s slipping by faster.

Make writing your default activity when you have free time or have nothing else to do.
- Writing is thinking. It allows you to articulate your thoughts more clearly — this breeds confidence in explaining your ideas, beliefs, and vision.
- Begin writing and publishing publicly as soon as possible.
Read philosophy at night before you go to sleep.
- Surely this is one of the secrets to perspective, success, and happiness.
This is not a dress rehearsal — life is now.
- Whenever you catch yourself going through the motions, remind yourself that this is it.
Nobody is coming to save you. Or tell you what you should do.
- Life is a single-player game. Even those who care about you are much more preoccupied with themselves. It’s on you.
The best time was yesterday, the second best time is NOW.
- Don't wait for conditions to get better. Just start now.
- If you’re able to do the thing now, then do it now. By definition, it’s the right time, because you’re able to do it. If you weren’t able to do it, it wouldn’t be the right time.
Travel all you can now, you'll crave routine later.
- Life has different phases, when you have kids or start a family, you’ll be forced into a routine. So do non-routined things now.
Enthusiasm will get you further than you think, lean into that.
- Simply being genuinely more excited than everyone else in the room will get you far.
The world is not logical, and it is not fair.
- Use every advantage you have to achieve the goals you set for yourself. (Because everybody else is).

Success

Don't stress about your time estimates for achieving things — because they will be wrong.
- You won't be able to accurately comprehend a one-year timespan properly until you're at least 28 years old. (As a percentage of your adult life, it’s still a long period of time).

Who you surround yourself with is everything.
- You'll inevitably compare yourself to your peers, so you may as well have successful peers.
After who, selecting your environment & location is the next most important.
- The future is not evenly distributed. Different geographies live at different times. (You can jump on a plane and land 5 years into the past, or in the future. E.g. San Francisco, USA vs Leh, India.)
What you choose to do is more important than how you do it.
- This is the generalized principle of wealth and vehicle choice previously.
Different is better than best.
- Everybody is weird. Identify your uniqueness and idiosyncrasies — because that will be what allows you to win. You need perspective to do this because what you think is normal, is not normal to others.
Successful people have a handful of very well-defined traits — cultivate these for yourself.
- Being formidable. Someone who seems like they'll get what they want, regardless of whatever obstacles are in the way.
- Being a curious, independent thinker.
- Being “full range”. Able to go from the big picture down to the smallest detail.
- Being both systematic and creative.
- Having high standards for other people and holding them accountable.
Power = the ability to create the reality you want.
- Take what you see in your head (vision) and make it happen in the world (execution).
There is always a shorter path… if you're courageous.
- Those who make a habit of consistently doing things that scare them, get there faster.
Clarity comes from engagement, not thought.
- Action is the first step of not overthinking. Learn something, then think later.
To wake up early, move to a warm country with a nice view — start there.
- It’s hard waking up early in the middle of a New Zealand winter. Don’t play the game on hard mode.
Remember Buridan’s Ass:
- A hungry and thirsty donkey can't decide whether to eat hay or drink water because they are the exact same distance away from him. So the donkey, trying to make the best choice, ends up not choosing at all because it can’t find a reason to pick one over the other. It ends up dying because of the indecision.
- A donkey can’t think into the future. If it could, he’d realize he could’ve first drunk the water and then eaten the hay.
- Don’t be an Ass. You can do everything you want to do. You just need foresight, patience, and most importantly—decision.
- You can have it all, just focus on one thing at a time.

Whenever you get stuck or frustrated, revisit these lessons. I hope they’ll save you a little headache on your way to thirty.

Good luck!

From Apes to Cyborgs

Paul Carleton — Sat, 08 Jul 2023 01:00:00 +0000

“It’s just a fad” — Paul Carleton, about Facebook. Circa 2009.

I was late to Facebook.

I didn’t “get” it.

My friends were already here, in real life, so why would I need to “friend” them on this new website?

If we wanted to communicate — we’d just call or text.

But this all changed when I caught a bug… the travel bug.

Halfway around the world, after late nights and new Swedish friends — we wanted to stay in touch, but couldn’t text internationally. So I reluctantly signed up for TheFacebook.

Messenger was useful for texting in the cloud, but I certainly didn’t post to Facebook.

I was tagged at events, parties, and friends’ BBQs. I’m sure there’s quite the repository of photos of me in the depths of Zuckerberg's servers.

I had a great life, I enjoy the people I spend time with — I just didn’t understand the need to post photos on social media. So I didn’t.

Years passed of seeing other people’s breakfasts, posed holiday snaps, and life highlights. But I still didn’t feel the need to post. Most of my close friends more or less knew what I was up to, and if not, I’d simply update them the next time we were in person.

Social media seemed to have little utility for me.

After delving into the world of entrepreneurship, before I knew it, I was spending most of my time behind a computer. A knowledge worker, like a lot of us.

"We’re already cyborgs."
"You have a digital version of yourself, a partial version of yourself online in the form of your emails, your social media, and all the things that you do.”
—Elon Musk, 2016

Like it or not, we exist in two forms — our digital selves, and our physical selves.

Not only are we apes with ancient brains existing in this modern world, already struggling to deal with our situation, but now we all have two versions of ourselves to manage.

You need some form of a digital self to participate in society. Even your grandparents have a digital self, an email address, or an entry in a bank or government database somewhere. It’s hard to get away with totally neglecting our digital selves.

Our physical and digital selves are intertwined, with strengths and weaknesses, but with defining characteristics of each:

Our physical selves are high-fidelity — it doesn’t get any more real than in-person. Skydiving in person is not the same as skydiving digitally (for now).
Our digital selves can scale — we can be in many places at once. One video or piece of writing is a piece of us that can be broadcast to millions.

The internet has connected 5 billion of us and gives us superpowers that only 50 years ago, presidents would dream of. We had radios and televisions in the past, but the internet takes one-to-many communication to a whole new level.

We see it all around us. Presidents and world leaders tweet to their citizens. Celebrities chat with their fans. Entrepreneurship flourishes because of this direct distribution. Personal brands and influencers “build in public” and continually grow their audiences.

We’re in the era of the individual, we’re easily able to scale our digital selves.

I’ve been scaling online businesses for years. But I’ve never intentionally worked on my digital self. Online, I didn’t really exist at all.

It took years of reading others’ insightful thoughts and lessons about life and startups before I realized what they were doing — putting themselves online, documenting their lives, and building their digital selves.

In the age of the internet, if you want to maximize inbound opportunities, you must externalize yourself.

I think about it like this, “if we were to meet IRL, what would we have a chinwag about?”

What kind of subjects and interests would we have in common?

What are the types of stories I’d end up telling about myself, my life, beliefs, hopes, and dreams?

Systematically write those down. I call this, “externalizing yourself”.

Using my time in the highest leverage is one of my greatest concerns. What can’t be outsourced or delegated? Externalizing yourself is one of those things.

Google can’t help you here. ChatGPT doesn’t know about your personal stories. Nobody knows what you’re thinking except you — unless you externalize it.

Those who have an established personal brand experience true time leverage. People already know who they are when they interact.

Externalizing yourself not only increases your surface area for opportunities but crucially, acts as a filter. When people already know who you are and what you’re about, they’ll know whether they want to engage with you — whether for business, friendship, or anything else.

You’re having your very first conversation with people, every day, at scale.

That’s what I didn’t get. Externalizing yourself allows you to gain leverage over our most important asset, time. (It saves the other party time too!)

In the early stages of life, generally, you’re looking for opportunity, in outbound mode. Later on, there’s too much inbound, and filtering the opportunities becomes the problem. Externalizing yourself helps solve both of these things. It’s worthwhile no matter what stage you’re at in your journey.

My whole life I’ve been reluctant to share online, but I now realize it’s time invested in building my digital self. I’m writing this from my quiet office, meanwhile, my digital self is out there making connections, meeting new people, and having first conversations every single day.

What’s your digital self doing for you?

Benjamin Franklin Envies You.

Paul Carleton — Sat, 05 Aug 2023 02:00:00 +0000

Benjamin Franklin loved writing… but he was a slowpoke.

He took over 20 years to write his autobiography (and he didn’t even finish!)

If only he had ChatGPT to help him. Things would be different.

AI is well and truly here, as we’ve found out with the dazzling feats of ChatGPT and others. Ben missed his time, but ours is just beginning.

Over the next 6-24 months, the world will radically change as regular people discover the superpowers AI gives us. Things will get crazy. The world will become fraught with misinformation, deep fakes, and confusion.

But once we get used to the chaos of AI, we’ll realize this: the value of knowledge, information, and perhaps even wisdom will wane, while the importance of sharing personal experiences will soar.

As amazing as ChatGPT is, there is one frontier it has yet to explore: our personal stories.

There is no data training set for our memories and experiences (yet..!)

While many people fear AI is going to crush the creative spirit via automation, I believe the opposite. Creativity will flourish. AI can assist us in sharing and articulating our stories with a newfound flair —and saves us time.

For two and a half years, I ran a book publishing company that specialized in helping clients publish their books without writing a single word themselves. Our clients had powerful ideas and experiences, but they hadn't spent years refining their writing skills, so we used interviewers and talented writers to do the heavy lifting.

It was the authors’ ideas, the writers did the “executing”.

Now, with ChatGPT at our fingertips, we all have the most talented writer by our side. It’s good at the writing, not the thinking. Instead of being a writing expert, you can focus on your experiences. The “doing” gets done by the machine, and the story “decisions” are made by you.

This leaves us with the challenge of learning how to guide this AI to effectively articulate our ideas and stories.

And I believe that there is something truly fascinating about each and every one of us. We’ve all lived a life, so everybody has a story.

Stories are the most potent form of communication. They speak to our deepest emotions: fears and dreams. Learning to share your story unlocks the power to captivate and inspire.

I discovered this many moons ago, at the dawn of my journey to establish an online business. I wanted to create a life that would allow me to explore the world as a digital nomad (before such a thing was en vogue) and stumbled upon the writings of early travel bloggers like Chris Guillebeau and Colin Wright.

“You don’t have to live your life the way other people expect you to.”―Chris Guillebeau, A Brief Guide to World Domination (2008)

“You have exactly one life in which to do everything you will ever do. Act accordingly.” —Colin Wright, Act Accordingly (2013)

Though reading this seems a little trite now, these pioneering souls left a permanent mark on my 20-year-old psyche. Their experiences, shared so candidly, struck a chord within me and helped shaped my own approach to life.

Yet I never shared my own stories.

Now –a decade later– I realize the value of undertaking the arduous task (even with AI) of sitting down and writing my own stories.

As I was reminding myself of the value of allocating time to this endeavor (i.e. procrastinating), I rediscovered the significance of writing by revisiting the essays of Paul Graham —a true advocate for the notion that “writing is thinking”.

His ability to distill life lessons from his experiences through clear prose is remarkable. While I may not possess his writing prowess or the depth of his experiences, I hope that my stories, in some small way, can offer a glimmer of help to others.

Here’s how I currently do it:

Bullet point the main beats of your story (like this!)
Choose a couple of writers you’d like to emulate and ask ChatGPT to write your first draft.
Manually edit: remove, add, and refine.
Put back into ChatGPT, and ask “how can I improve this?”
Final rewrites.

Ernest Hemingway said, “The only kind of writing is rewriting.”

AI allows us to skip the “blank page” —and go straight to the rewriting. I’ve found ChatGPT most helpful with 1) creating a first draft, and 2) rephrasing ideas. Eventually, it’ll help you stress test your ideas too.

Our photo reels and social media posts provide snapshots of our lives, but the true lessons lie in the narratives that draw lessons from our personal experiences.

(The "Homework for Life" exercise from the book Storyworthy is a superb way to embark on this journey of self-discovery —though difficult to stick to!)

So, I extend this challenge to you: join me in documenting your personal stories with the help of AI.

Invest the time and effort to articulate them. The process will be not only cathartic for you, but also an invaluable resource for others. It will be hard, but not as hard as it used to be.

If you’re struggling, just remember how long it took Ben Franklin.

As AI inevitably reshapes the world of content creation —our experiences, and our stories are the last bastions of true value.

It’s time to share your story.

Why I’m a Social Techno-Hermit.

Paul Carleton — Fri, 09 Jun 2023 04:00:00 +0000

I live a weird life. If I were to sketch it out, it’d look something like this:

My life is divided into two distinct halves:

Half of me is tucked away like some sort of digital-age monk, tapping away at his keyboard,
The other half spends his time out in the bustle of city life, thriving on the energy of human encounters.

It's a bit like having a split personality, but it works wonders for me, and I'll tell you why.

When I'm in Thailand, I’m in isolation mode. After years of tinkering, I’ve perfected my Tim Ferriss-y Andrew Huberman-ish style routine. It has everything I need — health activities get scheduled first, then time to engage in deep work. All unencumbered by the distractions of urban living.

I’m a Techno-Hermit.

But I remain connected to people all around the world, thanks to the magic of the internet. I’m able to share ideas, spark conversations, and forge connections that transcend geographical barriers and time zones. The internet is a powerful tool for finding those rare individuals who share our passions and perspectives.

I join communities for any interest I might have:

Online business — DC, Masterminds, Trends
Youtube — PTYA, Slow Growth, Film Booth
Writing — More To That, Business of Newsletters

Along with a healthy dose of Twitter, and plenty of private group chats.

The digital age is a beautiful thing — a playground for the curious and the unorthodox to connect with each other.

My time in Techno-Hermit mode is dedicated to creating new things and building digital connections. It’s my best version of routined life, it’s where the hard work happens.

But I recognize there's an irreplaceable value to in-person interactions. As human apes, we are wired for connection. There is something profoundly fulfilling about engaging with others face-to-face or sharing a meal belly-to-belly.

So when the lure of the city becomes irresistible, I shed my hermit-like existence for the vibrant energy of the big city, where I can meet people in person and connect on a deeper level.

The Social Butterfly.

I flutter straight to the big cities. Usually, London or NYC.

In the concrete jungle, I find inspiration in serendipitous encounters and new connections. I catch up with friends with the enthusiasm of a caffeinated squirrel, bouncing between coffee shops, drinking in the kaleidoscope of humanity.

My dual lifestyle is a delicate dance between routine and spontaneity. Virtual handshakes, and real-life bear hugs.

It's working for me, at least for now. I've found a way to embrace both the quiet and the chaos.

This setup is accessible to anyone who can embrace the opportunities of the internet. I am not rich, just resourceful and flexible.

Living this way has made me realize that you don't have to follow the well-trodden path of a traditional life. We can redefine how we spend our precious time on this ever-evolving journey we call life, and build a life that resonates with our deepest desires.

Embrace the wonderful weirdness of the world. After all, life's too short to be anything but extraordinary.

Information Diet: what did you 👀 this year?

Paul Carleton — Fri, 12 May 2023 04:00:00 +0000

The internet is endless…

Humanity makes a lot of stuff:

4.4 million new blog posts are published, every day
30,000 hours of youtube video is uploaded, every hour
149,513 emails are sent, every minute

Our challenge in the modern era is filtering what is worth our attention. We are what we consume, and high-quality inputs result in better thinking.

So at the end of each year, I review my information diet — what I spent my time consuming, and what made it into my brain, in an effort to not get mentally fat.

These are just some of the golden nuggets that I enjoyed or transformed my thinking.

Here’s a recap of my favourite books, newsletters, podcasts, courses, and videos from last year.

(all released during 2022, unless stated)

Books

Newsletters

Podcasts

Courses

Youtube (2022 releases)

TV (Documentaries/Movies/Series)

Standup
- Trevor Noah, I Wish You Would
- Ricky Gervais: SuperNature
Documentaries
- Downfall, The Case Against Boeing
Movies
- Everything Everywhere All at Once
- Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
Series

My Posts

I started out by exploring popular crypto projects, with explainers on whether Cardano was legitimate, and if Polkadot would survive.

Then markets took a nosedive and crypto imploded. First Do Kwon and the LUNA collapse, followed by the $32 billion-dollar FTX fraud, and the crazy SBF aftermath before getting arrested.

I covered lots of shorter, fun topics too like Steve Jobs's weird diet, Spotify’s plan to replace musicians with AI, the origins of billion dollar brand Spanx, and Google’s bizarre original name.

This is only the beginning! In 2023 I’ll be expanding youtube topics covering technology, business, creators, and more. If you have any ideas of anything you want to see, I’d love to hear from you as it will help guide my plans :)

Thanks for all your support — the best is yet to come! 🚀

- Paul

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