Before I became a coach,

I had never been in a professional relationship where we both said, “I love you” to each other.

I had never experienced such a deep connection with individuals I’ve never met in person.

I had never known how liberating it feels to witness someone shed years of limiting belief to embrace their authentic self.

I had never realized how much transformation can come from simply being present with someone.

I had never known what it truly feels like to help someone heal their relationship with themselves.

I had never believed that listening, truly listening, could be an act of love and healing.

I had never heard anyone say, “You’ve changed my life. Thank you.”

I had never felt a sense of gratitude so profound that it brings me to tears.

I had never believed my words and presence could inspire someone to pursue their dreams with courage.

I had never expected to learn so much from those I coach.

I had never been this committed to my own personal growth so I can show up better for others.

I had never imagined my purpose could be realized through the simple act of being myself.

I had never felt so aligned with my work that it feels more like a calling than a job.

I had never been more optimistic about the human potential.

I had never been more in awe and in love with interacting, witnessing, and serving other human beings.

I had never operate with more love, generosity, patience, and optimism on a daily basis.

And I am so grateful to do this work, and I'm just getting started.

If this sounds like the kind of coaching container you want to be in, let’s chat.

Enjoy the rest of your week! ❤️

I used to believe that I was not the type of person who would ever be completely comfortable sharing about myself online.

Like, I'm talking about from a genetic compositional level.

I used to tell myself that it's not just because I'm not good at it and not just because of the ways I was brought up, but because the way my DNA is sequenced meant that I have a predisposition to feeling anxiety and overwhelm in online spaces.

And as a millennial born in the late 90s, right when MySpace, Facebook, and a subsequent horde of social media platforms emerged, I often felt like I was born in the wrong century.

Early Signs

There were early signs that maybe I wasn't exactly cut out for this type of internet stuff.

First, there was Xanga (for any Gen Z or Gen X kids reading, it was an online blog that looked like this):

I spent hours trying to find my old one but unfortunately couldn’t

Not only did I not know how to customize or format my blog like all my friends did, but I also remember feeling so self-conscious that my blog was mostly just empty.

The only proud thing I did was finding a way to put my favorite Naruto-themed picture as my wallpaper and having this OG Jay Chou song play as soon as you landed on my website.

Then Myspace came along. (Did you know that LinkedIn was founded BEFORE even Myspace? Neither did I)

Then Facebook.
Then Youtube.
Then Reddit.
Then Twitter.
Then Quora.
Then Pinterest.
Then Instagram.
Then Snapchat.
Then TikTok.

And whenever each new thing came along, I would always give it a little whirl to see how I would interact with it.

But it never felt right.

I never felt safe in it.

That's when I created a belief in my head that I chose to live by:

That maybe, just maybe, I am not meant to be online in a world where it will increasingly be more online.

And that is just the reality I had to sit with.

Made It Part of My Identity

I was proud of the fact that I wasn't "online" as much. And that also meant that I felt like I was one of the only few people who was almost never on his phone.

And I took so much pride in that.

Every statistic I saw about social media being bad for our mental health validated everything I was feeling.

I started to even unconsciously believe that I was "better" than the individuals who were always online.

I judged people who would take pictures of their food or take selfies because I would think to myself:

"I'm so glad I'm not like that. I don't need to capture and share this moment just to feel seen in this world."

But I could never fully admit to myself that I created that narrative in my head to protect myself until I couldn't anymore.

Pandemic changed everything

When I lost my job in the midst of the 2020 pandemic, I was so scared of what to do.

It was the first time I was so disillusioned with working in corporate America, and I felt betrayed and abandoned by a company that I invested a lot of myself into.

It didn’t help that I was laid off during a time period when the unemployment rate was reported to be the highest since the Great Depression.

After learning life-changing lessons from this particular unemployment, I knew that this was the moment that was inviting me to step into entrepreneurship, even though I had no idea what it meant yet.

I also knew deep down that there was no way I could learn to be an entrepreneur at this moment of time without learning to be comfortable with writing, sharing, connecting, and promoting myself on the internet.

So I decided to start small.

Taking Baby Steps

The first project I ever launched online was this music newsletter (which I still continue to write to this day):

Twitter tweet

Before that, for my entire lifespan on Twitter, I had only tweeted 10 times.

This was the first time I ever experienced random strangers giving me genuine comments and encouragement on something that was very personal to me.

And I realized that if sharing about myself can be as simple as these 140-character prompts, then maybe I can do it a little bit at a time.

And just like that, 140 characters at a time, I started sharing throughout the week and month.

Soon I no longer saw this “online” as a giant ocean with turbulent waves ready to knock me off the ground, and instead started to see it as a playground for my thoughts, ideas, and even my authenticity.

The more I shared, the more I saw that quantity leads to quality.

I even shared puns.

Twitter tweet

But soon I became much more comfortable sharing out loud projects and initiatives I was doing.

Twitter tweet

I understood the power of the #buildinpublic movement, where I can take people along my journey of building a product and even a company so they can be a part of all the ups and downs, the wins and losses.

When I first formed my LLC, I shared about it.

Twitter tweet

And this year, after a challenge from a friend, I recorded myself talking in front of the camera for the first time.

Twitter tweet

That led me to finally feel ready to return to Instagram to share daily content about my work as a mindset & creativity coach and how it relates to overcoming limiting beliefs, unleashing one’s creativity, and finding alignment with one’s higher self’s calling.

I also launched this newsletter and my own podcast there.

Here are my 3 biggest learnings from this journey so far:

My Learnings

1. The internet may be flawed, but it's what we got

Last year I had a sticky note on my work desk that read: "Accept what is, not what should be."

When it comes to our World Wide Web, it is so easy these days to point our fingers at the ways the internet is flawed.

Especially how the promise of making us feel more "connected" continues to fall short and disappoint.

And every subsequent technology trend from social media to AR/VR to web3/NFT/Metaverse, now to AI; it all feels like it's taking us down the wrong path, making us more disconnected from ourselves, from each other, and from the natural world.

But at the same time, this is the internet we have, so how do we make the best of it?

And for me, it’s realizing that I have the power and agency to use this internet as intentionally as I want.

The internet is what you make of it.

And the moment you are intentional about how you want to use it, you will find people who are also doing it intentionally.

2. Sharing online holds up a mirror to your internal world

Every time young Andrew was feeling anxious scrolling through Instagram or feeling overwhelmed trying to come up with a new tweet, or feeling shame when he opened LinkedIn

Those moments and feelings are the most powerful mirrors of the parts of me that I was too afraid to look at or admit to myself.

I was so scared to admit to myself that I so badly wanted to express myself to the world and be seen, loved, and accepted.

All of us do.

I was just too scared of being rejected.

Due to my people-pleasing tendencies, I couldn't handle disappointing or being rejected by even just one individual.

So I couldn't imagine the possibility of potentially being rejected by tens, hundreds, or potentially thousands of strangers I have never met.

I was so scared for them to see who I was really was, which was just an insecure kid who really just wanted to accepted and loved as he was.

That's when I started seeing this "online" as a sparring partner.

Whenever I notice any feelings of overwhelm or anxiety showing up when I'm sharing or creating, I take a second to drop into the body and notice what's coming up.

And sometimes I would even close the app altogether and say to myself, "This is the best I can do today, and that's okay."

And this leads to my final learning…

3. Sharing online is the ultimate arena of practicing non-attachment

If there is one thing I’ve learned in my 4 years of inner work and meditating over 1200 days in a row, it’s this:

The key to developing more inner peace, mental resilience, and finding more joy and fulfillment in life is non-attachment, or a state of being where you are not overly dependent on or emotionally attached to outcomes, possessions, relationships, or desires.

When it comes to sharing and creating online, these social media companies have hired teams of behavior psychologists, user experience designers, and engineers to build products that were designed to amplify our innermost desires to be loved and accepted by others.

It’s no wonder that using these platforms can bring up so many complex feelings for so many of us, especially when it comes to insecurity around self-image and worth.

It was never really our fault, because the engine and the algorithms behind it were designed that way.

And for the longest time, it felt like the only two options we had were to play the game or completely opt out of all of it.

But what if I told you there’s a third option?

That third option is sharing, posting, and creating without the attachment to the outcomes.

It means no longer being attached to the followers, likes, reposts, comments, views, impressions, shares, or bookmarks.

But it also doesn’t mean that you don’t have to look at these metrics at all because they do give you information on how you can continue to iterate and improve on tailoring your content to be seen by more eyeballs.

Taking the third option could sound something like this:

I want to grow my social media following but I will not be attached to how many likes, comments, or even the speed of follower growth. Instead, I will focus on creating content that feels aligned with who I am AND that the audience I’m trying to reach is finding resonance in.

And every time you share a post, tweet, thread, reel, or video, is an opportunity to practice this non-attachment.

To notice any discomfort that comes up, to listen to it, and to choose a different way of relating to that feeling.

To feel empowered and excited about showing up differently.

And always know that if you still have fear, know that I’ve been in your shows.
 
I see you. I believe in you.

And if you ever need a cheerleader you can always tag me @atsaotsao in all of the socials ❤️.

What fears or insecurities do you feel when sharing online, and how can you begin to address them?

This is one of my most common and favorite things to say to a client during a coaching session:

"Let's drop into the body. How does it feel?"

Recently, somebody responded with a simple question: "Why should I drop into my body? What's the point?"

I knew the answer intuitively because I’ve integrated it as a core tool for navigating through my own life, but I’ve never had to explain it in detail to others before.

So I’ve decided to answer that question in this week’s issue.

Brain Chemistry 101

To start it's helpful to have a little foundational knowledge of how our brains work.

To start here is what a cell in our body looks like:

Look great right? 7th grade me studying biology would have been proud.

One of the cool things about these cells is that they have receptors all over, and they're there to be ready to connect to, interact with, or be influenced by ligands.

Ligands are simply the things that bind with the cells to form a complex and produce some effect.

To understand our brain, it’s helpful to understand three key types of ligands: neurotransmitters, neuropeptides, and hormones.

Neurotransmitters are chemical messengers whose main job is to send signals between nerve cells, allowing the brain and nervous system to communicate.

They are small, fast-acting chemicals that transmit signals between our neurons or to a target cell and the two most commonly known ones are dopamine and serotonin.

Neuropeptides are a sub-type of neurotransmitters and make up most of these messengers but behave differently. Their main job is to act as a signaler for releasing chemical messages to the body with specific instructions.

Unlike neurotransmitters, they are bigger and slower, but not only do they tend to have a broader range of signals they deliver, but they can even modulate the activity of neurotransmitters.

When these neuropeptides make their way into our body and bloodstream, they will usually attach themselves to the cells of various tissues (primarily glands)

Diagram of the hormonal centers of the body

This is when our bodies turn on the third type of ligand, hormones. Our hormones are what further influence us to feel certain ways.

Here's the breakdown of what we learned so far:

• Neurotransmitters are chemical messengers primarily from the brain and mind

• Neuropeptides are chemical signalers that serve as a bridge between the brain and the body to make us feel the way we think

• Hormones are the chemicals related to feelings primarily in the body

How The Mind & Body Are Connected

Now that we got the basic sciences out of the way, it's time to connect it to the part that I feel most excited about talking about which is how all of this explains how intricately our mind & body are connected.

To illustrate that, let's walk through a real-life example of something I recently experienced that many of us can relate which is an unresolved argument I have with my partner.

When I was sitting in front of my desk getting ready to work, I suddenly remembered some of the details of our fight.

At this moment, my brain whips up some neurotransmitters that turn on a network of neurons, which creates pictures and thoughts in my head.

In this case, I probably thought about the specific image of the household task or errand that instigated the argument.

This prompts a chain reaction where it stimulates the release of specific neuropeptides into my bloodstream.

Once they reach my adrenal gland (the gland most responsible for our physiological response to anger), those peptides bind to the cells in those tissues.

Then they turn on my hormonal system, and very quickly, I begin to feel exactly the way I was just thinking. In this case, I probably became angry.

My body will send a very clear message back to my brain saying, "Yup, I'm feeling really ticked off right now."

My brain, which is constantly communicating with the body and monitoring its internal chemical order, immediately notices the change in the way I'm feeling.

And as a result, I begin to think differently.

In this moment, I begin to feel the way I think AND think the way I feel.

I unconsciously reinforced the same feeling I was feeling by thinking the similar angry and frustrated thoughts, which made me more angry and frustrated.

Without realizing it, my feelings are now controlling my thinking.

My body is now driving my mind.

And in the past, it wouldn't even end here. I would continue to allow the cycle to continue.

Angry thoughts -> produce more chemical signals to the body -> activate adrenal chemicals associated with angry feelings -> angry thoughts.

The cycle of anger can turn frustration into rage.

I would feel flushed, my stomach would feel twisted into a knot, my head would pound, and my muscles would start to clench.

And all these physiological changes will cause me to think equally about those emotions.

I will start thinking of all these things I want to say to my partner.

I will even conjure up a list of past events and evidence that validate my present upset-ness.

And I would even brainstorm the ways I would have her understand the extent of my anger and have her resolve it.

And all of this started with a single thought.

Change is Hard

This is why sometimes it can feel SO hard to change.

The loops of chemical reactions that I described above have probably happened thousands of times in my life without me realizing it.

They have trained my body to memorize that emotional state to a point where whenever a similar stimulus is introduced, my body can almost be on autopilot and run a subconscious automatic program to respond to it.

This is also why early in my journey, I always felt like Sisyphus pushing the boulder up a mountain.

And even though I would practice a lot of mindset shifts and positive thinking like "I want to be less angry, happier, and feel free"

It always felt like my body couldn't catch up.

My intellectual mind may say that it wants joy, but the body has been programmed to feel otherwise for years.

And if we remember early explanations about neurotransmitters vs. neuropeptides, neuropeptides have the ability to modulate the activity of a neurotransmitter

This is why it often results in our bodies, instead of our minds, running the show.

And it always makes me think of this quote from the book Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: "When the mind and body are in opposition, change will never happen"

So Why Drop Into The Body?

The main goal of doing something as simple as putting our attention on our bodies is to strengthen our mind-body connection.

Very quickly you will start to feel how emotions are never just mental experiences, but something we feel so viscerally and physically.

And by paying attention to our bodily sensations, we become more acutely aware of our emotional state.

One of the most important steps in my journey is being able to have more clarity over the complexities of how I’m feeling and communicate it.

For the longest time, I would have a shortcut on my phone to a saved image of the Feelings Wheel so I could pause, associate a word to my internal world, and then name the emotion out loud.

Only through naming can I go to the next steps of learning to practice de-escalation and calming techniques, to release any physical tension and stress created by it, and most importantly, to ground and anchor myself back in the present moment.

One of the main goals of practicing this is to cultivate a more integrated and holistic understanding and awareness of our state of being.

And improving our state of being is related to improving the overall condition or state of our physical, emotional, and mental health.

Next time you feel overwhelmed by emotions, how can you take a moment to drop into your body and identify what you’re physically experiencing?

P.S. If you are interested in learning more about how being with the body + practicing mindset shifts can help you take advantage of the rest of 2024 to step into your potential, I have good news for you! I am currently offering a few free 1:1 coaching sessions for July. You can apply here!

P.P.S. Did you enjoy me including my rough sketches & drawings in this issue? Just experimenting with something new, and would love to hear your thoughts on it!

A few years ago, I learned about a parable about creative work that haunted me for days.

It goes like this:

“[A] ceramics teacher announced on opening day that he was dividing the class into two groups.

All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right solely on its quality.

His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the “quantity” group: fifty pounds of pots rated an “A”, forty pounds a “B”, and so on.

Those being graded on “quality”, however, needed to produce only one pot — albeit a perfect one — to get an “A”.

Well, came grading time and a curious fact emerged: the works of the highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity.

It seems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work – and learning from their mistakes — the “quality” group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay.” — from the book Art & Fear

It haunted me for days because of how excited the story made me feel.

Since I was a little boy, I don’t think I ever was that interested in being the best at something.

But I did want to be good at a lot of things.

I always knew I wanted to be a generalist and a multi-passionate creative where I could do many things well with many skills, confidence, and authenticity.

And it felt like this parable gave me a roadmap and permission to become this version of myself.

I knew then that the key lies in having the discipline, courage, and consistency to keep practicing and sharing my work.

And that’s what I’ve been doing over and over again.

When I lost my job in 2020 and had no idea what I wanted to do, I decided to learn no-code and ended up building & shipping 12 different web products in 12 weeks.

When I decided to start drawing abstract art in 2021 as a way of healing of inner child and learning to express my inner world, I drew for at least 30 minutes every day and shared every single piece of my work.

When I realized I wanted to learn to be more comfortable talking in front of the camera after someone challenged me, I have been posting a video of myself sharing something almost every day.

When I made the big decision to pivot out of tech after 9 years and became a mindset & creativity coach this past March, even though I didn’t have any credentials or had that much experience doing that particular kind of coaching, I still offered free 60-minute coaching sessions to whoever was interested and have since coached 60+ individuals and helped them get unstuck in their life.

Hearing that parable and putting it into practice across multiple areas in my life have crystallized this truth for me:

The path to doing anything has always been about focusing on the frequency of the work.

If you can show up at regular intervals, that is aligned with your neurtypical or neurodivergent tendencies, without worrying about the results or outcomes— it can actually lead to better results.

Quantity leads to quality, who knew?

What's one area of your life where you could benefit from focusing more on the process rather than the outcome?

Last week I performed spoken word at a talent show for adults. (You can also read it here)

And it is one of the proudest things I've done all year.

Before this, I had never done anything like it in the slightest.

Sure, I've played and performed musical instruments on the stage before (the violin & the trumpet to be exact).

And I've given presentations, workshops, pitches, and speeches of all kinds of variety.

But never have I voluntarily been on a stage to pour my heart out in such a poetic fashion, especially as an adult.

When I was walking off into the crowd after my performance, I had a handful of people shake my hand, give me high-fives, and even hugs, but throughout that whole time, I was in an absolute daze.

I was in a daze because I was honestly lost for words.

I tried to focus on the energetically invisible things that were happening beneath the surface and in my body to try to process all the feels

And I could feel how that experience poured into me in even ways I cannot understand yet.

And it made me think of this question: Why do we choose to do or not do the things that get us out of our comfort zone? What's the point of it?

Here are 2 reasons I believe why getting out of your comfort zone can help you lead a better life:

1. You can retrain the way you speak and interact with your nervous system

While waiting for my turn to perform, I could feel some tightness in the middle of my body that I hadn't experienced in a long time.

It was different from the nervousness that I had felt in the past few years. This one was more visceral and more uncomfortable.

I felt like I could feel my the full extent of my NERVES.

And it did bring me back to all the moments when I was younger when I felt a similar sensation.

In the past, maybe because of the influences of my music teachers or sport coaches, I would often talk to myself in a very disciplinary, masculine, and stern-like way.

I would often say to myself: "Stop being nervous. There's nothing to be nervous about. Just toughen up. Get going."

And I would somehow find a way to push that feeling down and deep into my body to deal with whatever was happening.

But as an adult, and as a mindset coach with a better understanding of an array of tools that I can lean on, I knew that I could take a different approach.

This time, I gently scanned my body, noticed the textures and shapes of the feelings in my body, and instead of pushing it away, I did these 3 things:

1. I acknowledge it fully with curiosity, love, and compassion, and I said to it: "I recognize that you are there and have been around to protect me in the past. Thank you so much, but right now I don't need you and I am inviting you to pass through me and over me."

2. I found the parts of me, especially the inner child in me, that were the sources of feeling that nervousness and I just gently remind him that he is safe, in an environment where he won't be harmed, and that I got his back.

3. I gave myself a small self-hug to remind myself through physical touch that I'm loved, even if my performance and expressions of myself get rejected

And as a result, not only was I able to do something I’ve been wanting to do since I moved to New York 11 years ago, I could also feel the younger parts of me feeling safer than ever.

And all of us are ready for the next challenge.

2. You can relearn how to do uncomfortable things for intrinsic and not external rewards

I’ve been pushing myself out of my comfort zone all my life

But I realize that I wasn’t always intentional about it.

Sometimes I would do things just for the sake of it, just to see if I could

And in the past, whenever I was on stage for some kind of performance or showcase, I always did it mainly for some kind of external validation.

It was always to get some kind of praise, affection, or applause from an authority figure, my classmates, colleagues, or strangers just to make myself feel better and worthy.

As a kid, I was always craving for attention, acceptance, and love.

But as an adult who has learned to give myself those things, the most powerful realization is that I no longer needed to perform to receive those things.

Instead, I knew that I could use this opportunity and this arena to redefine what it meant for me to perform.

The talent show gave me the perfect opportunity to do something fully to make all parts of myself proud, regardless of the outcome, and that's all that matters.

And that’s why doing uncomfortable things as an adult can be such crucial piece to one’s transformation journey.

So what is something you have always wanted to do that is out of your comfort zone? How can you take one baby step to get started?

Here is my full poem:

If you’e read this all the way to the end, thank you for being here . I appreciate you. Have a wonderful day ❤️

I turned 32 yesterday.

Here are 32 pieces of advice I would give to my younger self (including quotes from books that have left an impression on me) in no particular order.

1. Before you can learn to receive love from others, you need to learn to love yourself first

2. Acceptance of your full self means accepting all parts of you, and allowing all parts to coexist despite all the contradictions.

3. You are enough, just the way you are.

4. You feelings don’t make you weak, they are part of your power and what allow you to connect with your humanity.

5. "Compatibility is an achievement of love; it must not be its precondition" (from The Course of Love)

6. Don't spend too much time worrying about your life's purpose. Finding your purpose is about moment to moment listening, and being each moment fully, authentically, and surrender.

7. “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how” (from Man's Search for Meaning)

8. Silence and stillness are your best friends. Get to know them early and invest time into that relationship, and they will have your back for the rest of your life.

9. There is so much wisdom in your internal world. When you feel lost, the compass and map is all right there within you.

10. "Wherever you go, there you are" (from The Daily Stoic)

11. Pain is inevitable. But suffering is optional.

12. "The invisible world creates the visible world" (from You are a Badass at Making Money)

13. Money is a neutral energy with no agenda or attachment much like water or air. If you can understand and FEEL it, then money will come.

14. “The hardest financial skill is getting the goalpost to stop moving." (from The Psychology of Money)

15. You are going to be unemployed someday, and that's okay. That does not mean you are a failure. It can be your biggest teacher if you take the time to pay attention to what it's trying to tell you.

16. Life is a game that one play according to the rules. And you have to be able to learn the rules before you decide what parts of the game you want to play.

17. "You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish." (from Surely You’re Joking Mr.Feynman)

18. Keep doing things that involve movement, painting, and play. It will help you heal.

19. Dance like no one is watching. Seriously. It feels incredible!

20. Listen to albums, not tracks.

21. You are absolutely creative. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

22. It's okay to not be liked. I know it hurts to be rejected and excluded, but I promise you that it's all going to be okay.

23. You can always find things you can be grateful for. In fact, most things are often invisible to us.

24. "Draw to discover what you see. Write to discover what you think." (from Excellent Advice For Living)

25. Do not be afraid of your light. You do not need to shrink so that other people don't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine.

26. "Share what you love, and the people who love the same things will find you" (from Show Your Work!)

27. The most sustainable path take in life is to build wealth while living a life dedicated to service to others.

28. "You can’t ever reach perfection, but you can believe in an asymptote toward which you are ceaselessly striving" (from When Breath Becomes Air)

29. Randomness, mess, and uncertainties are not glitches in our world. They are all things that actually makes this life worth living.

30. “Neurons that fire together, wire together." (from The Way Out)

31. I am not free until we are all free. Ubuntu: "I am because we are."

32. It is not naive to believe in collective liberation— where we live in a world in which we are all able to exist in harmony with nature, free from the threat of violence, with all the resources needed for all living things on Earth to thrive.

Which piece(s) of advice or quotes resonated most with you?

I often have food on my face.

Whether it's crumbs, spaghetti sauce, cream cheese, or even pieces of rice

And it always invites quite a reaction.

I've had friends who laughed at me for being so sloppy.

I've had bosses who chewed me out for not being "professional" enough.

I've had partners who felt embarrassed by being seen with me in public because of it.

The truth is that to this day, I still don't know why it happens so often.

I don't know if it's because I was never fully taught the etiquette of wiping my mouth or that the nerve endings around it are so insensitive that I could never feel it.

And even typing this brings up a familiar fear.

The fear reminds me of noticing when my blind spots or flaws can cause someone to look at me weirdly.

To judge me, misunderstand me, and reject me.

And as a recovering people-pleaser, this always hurt.

It makes me think about all the different areas of my life where my flaws can bring up the same feelings.

Flaws like my illegible handwriting

Or my mispronunciation of words

Or sometimes my confusion with grammar in how I talk or write.

There is a list of these flaws that I used to attribute to wanting to hide from the world.

It was why it felt so difficult to show up as I am.

To write, talk, draw, and express who I am because I've had years of memories of voices telling me that what I'm doing is flawed and therefore not good enough.

And it took me a to realize this truth: being flawless and showing up flawlessly is overrated.

The individuals who show up, flawed and all, are individuals who are willing to be human, vulnerable, unpolished, and real in a world of airbrushing, editing, optimization, and plastic surgery where there will always be more and more layers of abstractions and illusions to hide what’s real from us.

The individuals who show up, flawed and all, are individuals who I can learn to invest my trust and attention in, especially in a world where everyone is gaming for your eyeballs and creating elaborate stories or Mr.Beastified content to pitch or sell you something.

Share this with a friend who struggles with showing up flawed

Ever since the start of 2024, I've been committing to sharing a video of myself talking to the camera almost every day.

It’s not perfect.

And sometimes it was only after I had already finished recording and editing the videos that I realized that I had a speck of food on my face.

But I still press the button "post."

Because I will no longer hide my flaws from the world anymore.

And I can trust that whoever judges me or feels cringe because of it, will not like my content or sometimes by extension even me and that's okay.

Because I know there will always be others who will see me as I am and not just accept it but want to see more of it.

And even be around it.

And that's why I show up flawed.

Because that's the fastest and most powerful way to live a life where you are no longer attached to the opinions of others, and can always do your best to show up just as you are.

Come join me!

Questions to ask yourself:

What part of your “flaws” are you still ashamed of?
What is one way you can reclaim this flaw as part of the authentic you?

☀️ How can I help?

If you enjoyed reading this week’s issue, here are two more things you can do:

1. Share it with someone else who will find it valuable.

2. Schedule a free call with me to discuss whether 1-on-1 coaching could be helpful to you on your journey!

And that's it for now! ✨

Thank you for reading this edition all the way to the end. I appreciate you 🙏

Thanks for being part of this journey.

Hope to see you in the next issue!

“Life is a game that one plays according to the rules.”

This is a quote from the book, The Catcher in the Rye.

But most of us get lost in these rules.

And in the process, we forget what game we're playing and what it means to play or win at this game.

Let me explain.

When we started school, we were all taught a particular set of rules.

These rules were based on merit: grades, papers, presentations, tests, and eventually degrees.

Then the rules become a little more complex: the rules of adulthood require certain jobs, salaries, promotions, and stability.

And soon, the rules start to evolve.

It started to include a partner, kids, a home, and vacations, and soon we found ourselves teaching our kids the same rules.

The promised perks and rewards of following these rules are that after age 65, you get to reap the rewards and "win" by doing whatever you want.

Only then can you finally enjoy the happiness, fulfillment, peace, and freedom you've been working so hard for.

The most unfair thing about this set of rules is the list of conditions it requires for us to win this game.

We shouldn't wait until 65 or older to feel like we have finally won.

And one of the biggest lies that a capitalistic system and world taught us is that we were meant to play this game alone.

And that winning, required us to beat, step on, or even exploit other players.

The moment I realized all of this, is the moment I realized I didn't want to play that game anymore.

I want to create my own game with my own rules, where winning means that I also get to do whatever I want starting now.

And that I also can enjoy happiness, fulfillment, peace, and freedom, starting now.

I learned that even though it is a single-player game, I didn't have to do it alone

And there are other players, allies, and communities I can lean on, learn from, and play together.

I learned that there are enough resources for all of us to share, even though the world makes us feel like we’re always operating from scarcity

And there is a way where we can all collectively win together.

The first step is to radically imagine that this world is possible and one we deserve.

The next step is to define your path and your role in building it.

And that’s how you can find and start doing your life’s work.

If you need help defining, exploring, and walking that path, my coaching is designed to help with that.

I am currently offering free 60-min intro calls to help you on your journey.

Hope to see you there!

This past Sunday I decided to spend 24 hours without any internet.

The intention was simple:

I wanted to see what I would do, how I would feel, and how I would navigate 24 hours at home without any Wi-Fi or data.

I also had prepared a list of things to have, just in case I ran out of things to do:

• A handful of albums downloaded on Spotify

• Two movies downloaded on Netflix

• Art supplies

• A new book I'm just starting called The Map of Consciousness

• Leftover food I have from the night before

Then, I set an alarm on my iPhone for 23 hours 59 minutes, and 59 seconds and started this spontaneous challenge for myself.

Apparently, this is the maximum amount of time you can set for a timer on your iPhone

I wish I could tell you everything went smoothly and steadily, that as someone with a daily meditation and mindfulness practice, I could approach every moment of stillness and quietness like an experienced monk—with pure acceptance and surrender.

The reality was that the beginning was dreadful.

There were moments when I was sitting on my living room floor looking out at the apartment and feeling bored from head to toe.

There were also other moments where I experienced first-world problems around the inconvenience of no longer being able to rely on internet-powered tools or systems.

Like asking Alexa to turn on a specific set of lights.

Or trying to Airplay the movie I downloaded on my phone to my Roku sound bar (somehow completely forgot that Airplay requires Wi-Fi as well).

Or being able to look up something I wanted quick answers for (I was thinking about Maslow's hierarchy of needs and wanted to do some research around it)

But the more I sat with the new way of being in this way and accepted the feelings that came up, the more I realized how important these moments were.

And the more I leaned into it and swam in the discomfort, the more I could see the importance of this experiment.

Here are 3 things I learned from this 24-hour challenge:

1) How difficult it is to BE vs. DO

I've shared before about learning the difference between being vs. doing after I lost my job and became unemployed.

It's been 4 years since I've worked at a full-time job and have since been an entrepreneur, but I still notice just how incredibly challenging it is to lean into just BEING.

When I was sitting there, staring out at the distance, I could feel literal synapses in my brain trying to pull me in all these directions of DOING.

They're telling me to:

• Be productive and work on my coaching business

• Get up and move my body, to make better use of the time and squeeze in a workout

• To acquire more knowledge by reading any one of the 4 books I'm currently alternating between

• To call someone up to chat and catch up

In addition to that, any time I opened up my phone, I was constantly getting reminders that my phone wasn’t connected to the internet.

It felt like these devices were also yelling at me to get back to a world and mode that was familiar and comfortable.

Even when I opened my laptop, wishing to jot down a few notes about my experience thus far, I got a similar reminder:

The hardest part was knowing that the internet was only one click away from my phone.

And that's when it clicked in my brain.

It’s a similar realization I had when I decided to quit watching porn.

Or when I stopped consuming coffee.
Or when I quit alcohol.
Or when I stopped eating meat and became a pescatarian.

It was the realization that even though I wouldn’t go as far as to describe my relationship with these things as an “addiction”

I could still feel in my body an emotional and chemical reliance and attachment to how these things make me feel.

One of the reasons why it is still difficult to not start and end my days with my phone is because I am still attached and like having the internet reminding me of the things I need to do

Rather than just allowing myself to comfortable be.

While thinking about all this, I felt strongly for the first time that this boredom was important and trying to teach me a new lesson.

2) Being bored is good for us

I used to take pride in saying that I never feel bored.

I could honestly fill my days with 30-minute increments of activities and never have to feel any boredom kick in.

But that's also part of the problem.

Because I realize the feeling of boredom is not something we should avoid.

When you are bored and no longer leaning into your usual patterns of distracting yourself, your mind will naturally look inward to unearth what you want to do or explore.

You will tap into this inner voice that calls upon you to lean into and trust your instincts.

After just sitting there for at least 2 hours, I started asking myself: "What is it that you really want to do?"

I sat and listened. And listened.

Then I heard it.

It was in whispers, but I could hear it clearly like a faint lightbulb twinkling in the dark.

It led me to:

• Go for a run around Prospect Park, even though it was windy and raining outside.

• Draw and experiment with watercolor for the first time

• Jam out on my piano

• Dig through my storage to get out my guitar to play my old favorites

My guitar was buried underneath all of this

Once I heard that inner voice and listened to it, it felt like each activity I did was EXACTLY what I needed to do for myself to nurture my body and soul.

this was the creative “mess” I made

This boredom has taught me to tap into a part of me that knows what decisions to make to tap into a way of being that I’ve always aspired to.

3) Connection is complex

This whole experience made me realize how complex our relationship with the internet is.

As a kid from the 90s who witnessed and experienced the evolution of the internet and social media

I, along with many others, was given an idealized promise of the internet.

The promise is that these platforms and online avenues will help us feel more connected with others.

But that hypothesis is still yet to be proven.

I consider myself as someone who benefited greatly from using the Internet (like being able to write and share this piece).

I have also gone out of my way to use the web and digital tools as intentionally as possible to support the kind of connection, community, and life-building initiatives I want.

But sometimes I still wonder if the positive impact of the internet ultimately outweighs the negatives.

Over these years I have learned that:

• Our consumption of the internet can become problematic or addictive and can lead to more loneliness.

• Social media use contributed to the decline in mental health, both in teens as well as adults

• Consuming social media, especially for vulnerable teens between the age of 13 - 17, can contribute to more body dissatisfaction and potentially trigger more eating disorders.

I am still deciding for myself what using the internet in the long term means for myself and my future family.

But during the 24 hours, I did feel an increase in how connected I am to myself and my inner world.

And as a result, it didn't make me feel lonely, rather the opposite.

It made me feel so attuned to my humanity.

When I stepped outside to run in the rain and saw a few individuals running ahead or alongside me, I felt so connected to them in a way I didn’t even really have the words to describe.

Sometimes it takes us to disconnect from the world, to connect back to ourselves.

And once we connect to the deeper part of ourselves, that's when we feel ready or even compelled to connect with the rest of the world.

Questions to ask yourself:

What would your intention be if you were to do your own 24-hour challenge without using the internet?

And if that doesn’t interest you, what is a small experiment or challenge you can do to allow yourself to be more connected with your inner self?

☀️ How can I help?

If you enjoyed reading this week’s issue, here are two more things you can do:

1. Share it with someone else who will find it valuable.

2. Schedule a free call with me to discuss whether 1-on-1 coaching could be helpful to you on your journey!

And that's it for now! ✨

Thank you for reading this edition all the way to the end. I appreciate you 🙏

Thanks for being part of this journey.

Hope to see you in the next issue!

I used to think the way to achieve your goals is to go at it as intensely and as quickly as possible.

I used to believe that winners always sprint to chase after the ball.

To me, it was the person who perseveres through sweat, tears, and pain who deserves to get the ball and ultimately get the prize, medal, or trophy.

But it took me a long time to realize that our minds and legs are not built to be sprinting all the time.

It is the one who rests intentionally in between, that runs the farthest.

The greatest and biggest lesson I’ve learned in my late 20s is the paradoxical truth that you need to slow down to go faster and farther.

The idea of slowing down and being patient, “trusting the universe” did not come intuitively to me.

Only after doing a lot of work in resetting my nervous system, in nurturing the parts of myself that were ignored all those years, did I understand this important way of being in life.

Here are my two biggest reasons why it's important to slow down:

1) Burnout is way more common and more complex than you think

When you think about burnout, you probably have an image of what it looks like.

I picture someone who just returned home from work, looking tired, stressed, and disheveled.

But the reality is that burnout is way more complex than you think. In fact, there are 12 stages to burnout.

Burnout can look different for everyone because we all have different survival capabilities— some of us have a high tolerance for stress and can suppress the signals that the nervous system is firing.

But that doesn't mean they can deal with burnout better. It just means there is a higher tendency to push the signals down— until it’s too late.

One of the easiest ways to prevent burnout is to have consistent and sustainable ways of slowing down, grounding ourselves, and giving our nervous system a reset and break that it deserves.

2) It’s important to have a marathon mentality

In 2021, the global average life expectancy was just over 70 years.

This is astonishing when you realize that just two hundred years ago, the life expectancy was less than half of that.

Sometimes it’s hard to comprehend how long our lives can be.

We often hear people say that "life is short"

But when you slow your pace down and pay attention to the steps you take, the view to enjoy along the way, and the divinity in each passing moment

You will realize that it was never about competing or even winning this race

It was never a race to begin with, the systems we live in have conditioned us to believe that.

It was always about running it for as long as we can, with as much joy, fun, love, and doing our best to be in each moment fully, authentically, and with surrender.

Question to ask yourself:

• What is currently preventing you from pausing and slowing down in life?

• What are things you experienced or learned as a kid that have shaped this way of being for you?

☀️ How can I help?

If you enjoyed reading this week’s issue, here are two more things you can do:

1. Share it with someone else who will find it valuable.

2. Schedule a free call with me to discuss whether 1-on-1 coaching could be helpful to you on your journey!

And that's it for now! ✨

Thank you for reading this edition all the way to the end. I appreciate you 🙏

Thanks for being part of this journey.

Hope to see you in the next issue!

I jotted down some thoughts during my flight from New York to LA last December, and this week I decided to clean it up and expand on it. Enjoy:

I'm sitting on a 5:30 pm flight from JFK to LAX.

It's one of the first times in a while that I have the window seat as I usually reserve it for my fiancée.

I looked out at my window and glanced down at the ocean of city lights.
I couldn't help but feel a sense of wonder.

It made me think about the "overview effect", which describes the feeling an astronaut gets when looking at the earth from afar and realizing that he/she is seeing the world they're so familiar with from a completely new angle and it changes them.

It made me feel so insignificant.

I started to accept both how small and big I am, how powerful yet powerless, unique and special, but I still am just one speck of sand in a sea of consciousness.

There is so much power in balancing these two opposite ideas and adjectives in my head.

It also led me to think about how I’ve learned to marry the Eastern and Western philosophies of self vs. collective, and how there is a deep beautiful truth in how it informs me, and people like me, to be in this world.

The real difficulty is understanding how to have a healthy relationship with both.

Lean too much into the collective, and you lose your sense of self.

You will pick jobs, talk, dress, act, and be in a way where you feel like is expected or needed to fit in or create harmony in the environment you live in while ignoring the self and the complex experiences and emotions that come along with it.

Lean too much into the self, and your sense of self becomes inflated.

Whether it’s ego, pride, or vanity, you become so focused on your own needs that you see the world revolve around you. You become selfish, and you tailor a life that will help you gain wealth, power, and influence just because you can continue enhancing that image of self.

As someone who spent his first 18 years in Taiwan, I feel like I have spent the majority of my life tailoring more to the collective.

And I’m still currently learning to be more selfish, to not neglect my own needs and wants, and learn to be less attached to the opinions, affection, and attention of others.

I used to think that it was such a hassle to have to learn to balance the two worlds that I come from.

However, I realized that embracing the duality of my nationalities (on top of the innate duality that comes from being a Gemini) is what allows me to understand more deeply the complexity of the human experience.

If I embrace it, it gives me an advantage in understanding a more expansive view of the world we live in.

Question to ask yourself:

What are two opposite ideas, adjectives, or feelings you are currently learning to balance in your head and your life right this moment?

☀️ How can I help?

If you enjoyed reading this week’s issue, here are two more things you can do:

1. Share it with someone else who will find it valuable.

2. Schedule a free call with me to discuss whether 1-on-1 coaching could be helpful to you on your journey!

And that's it for now! ✨

Thank you for reading this edition all the way to the end. I appreciate you 🙏

Thanks for being part of this journey.

Hope to see you in the next issue!

When I was in my mid-twenties, I would use to say this to myself:

"I want to be a modern billionaire. And that means that one day I would like to wake up in the morning and be able to say that I have positively impacted the lives of a billion people"

To me, that was the loftiest, and most altruistic goal I can think of.

It's also one of the core reasons that drew me to work in tech; to be a Product Manager for all those years.

I wanted to be part of companies, products, and teams that genuinely solve problems that improve lives for the better, at a scope and scale that can get me closer to that goal of a billion.

But it took me a long time, being fired, and taking a few steps back to look clearly at the situation and realize a harsh truth:

That although it came from a good intention, my desire to help a billion people was selfish and completely fueled by my ego.

By my childish desires to want to be seen, respected, and admired as a successful and good person in the world.

It's as if by doing that, I will finally feel like my existence in this world and my core being is justified.

It reminded me of something Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI, said about Elon Musk:

"Elon desperately wants the world to be saved. But only if he can be the one to save it."

When I started my first business doing 1-on-1 no-code coaching with founders in 2021, that’s when I had a huge shift in perspective.

I was working with just one client in September and I worked with her every day to help her turn her ideas into digital products.

And I remember how fulfilling it was to help her navigate through these hurdles and see the joy on her face when she had figured out something.

I felt my heart brimming with warmth, pride, and deep satisfaction that I had added value, even if it was to just one person.

When we finished coaching, she even wrote a handwritten letter to thank me, and I still have it pinned right in front of my workspace to this day.

I learned an important truth on that day: one of the keys to living a fulfilling life is to live a life of service.

A life of service refers to a way of living that prioritizes helping, supporting, and contributing to the well-being of others and the community as a whole over personal gain or self-interest.

Here are the 4 biggest misconceptions I've learned about living a life of service:

1) It has to wait until X or Y happens

We often tell ourselves that we need to wait until we are further in our career, more financially stable, and have taken care of all of our, our partner's, and our family's needs before we can live a life in service of others.

Here are the most common versions I'll hear:

• "When I make more money, then I'll be able to give more money to charity."

• "When I get a promotion or have a job where I have more power and status, then I will be able to have the power to serve the community."

• "When I'm older and have more time, then I will have more bandwidth to help others."

All of these realities are valid because that's often how the world makes us feel, that we are always lacking.

And because we feel like we are lacking and in survival mode rather than feeling abundant, we tend to close off and be protective of our time and resources.

But in this process, we rob ourselves of experiencing the inexplicable deep qualities of a life of living beyond ourselves.

Question to ask yourself:

What is one thing you are telling yourself that you need to wait on before you can serve others?

2) It is about self-sacrifice

This one is especially for all the "Pleasers" out there who already have a strong tendency to put others above yourself.

Living a life of service is not about self-sacrifice, but rather about aligning with a more expansive view of self that includes serving the greater good.

And it's crucial to understand that to do this, you need to learn to give to yourself first.

You need to give to yourself:

• Unconditional love

• Acceptance

• Patience

• Permission to just be

• Space to heal

As an Asian man who grew up in Taiwan for the first 18 years of my life, I was deeply shaped by Confucian views around collectivism.

This meant that unconsciously, I was always putting the collective over myself. I would often think about the needs, wants, and expectations of my family and extended family over my own needs.

A year of couples therapy taught me that the most radical way to re-frame this view is to realize that the BEST thing we can do for the collective is to focus on the self first.

By being honest, and giving ourselves what it needs, we are no longer suppressing our needs.

And when we choose to serve others and the collective, we are no longer doing it from a place of self-sacrifice and self-neglect, but a genuine desire to serve.

And it is from this place we can also fully tap into the abundance.

Question to ask yourself:

What is something you need to give to yourself first before you can start serving others?

3) It has to look a certain way

There is a reason why becoming a doctor is the stereotypical, quintessential poster child of a career that immigrant parents want us to have.

It's because it checks the trifecta of what supposedly leads to a fulfilling life:

• Prestige

• High Salary

• Job Security

But what is often buried beneath the surface of what makes being a doctor such an incredible and respectable profession is how it also can embody living a life of service.

Doctors that I've spoken to who are patient, warm, and kind often talk about how joyful it feels to be able to be in a position to help others.

But you do not need to be a doctor to live a life of service.

Living a life of service doesn't have to look one single way.

In fact with the modern world comes modern problems, and it's up to you to figure out what creative ways you can combine your unique experience, domain expertise, and skillsets to how you can live a life of service.

Question to ask yourself:

What does living a life of service look like to you? And are there limiting beliefs there that are making it harder for you to integrate them into your own life?

4) You can't build wealth with it

There's a common misconception of believing that it is an "either…or" scenario when it comes to building wealth and living a life of service:

EITHER you find a path or career where you can live a life of service OR you find one where you can build wealth with it.

A lot of us were taught at a young age that there is a separation between the two: helping others and building a sustainable life where you have financial freedom.

The problem from the very beginning was that we were convinced that it was not possible to combine the two.

Some might say that it's "unrealistic", but I have learned from my own experience and talking to individuals that have inspired me that it is often just not straightforward.

It may require some risk to leap, courage to experiment, and curiosity to explore, but the output may be having the kind of life that brings you deep fulfillment, enjoyment, and peace.

Isn't that worth figuring out?

Question to ask yourself:

If you believe that you can build wealth and live a life of service, what would you do?

☀️ How can I help?

If you enjoyed reading this week’s issue, I ask you to do one of two things:

1. Share it with someone else who will find it valuable.

2. Schedule a call with me to discuss whether coaching could be another way to help you on your journey of figuring out your next step and finding your purpose.

And that's it for now! ✨

Thank you for reading this edition all the way to the end. I appreciate you 🙏

Thanks for being part of this journey.

Hope to see you in the next issue!

The word “purpose” carries a lot of weight.

The Japanese call it ikigai.
The french calls it raison d'etre.
I always just call it the Big P.

The first time I danced with the Big P was in 2012 after I had just come back from my college career fair.

I was still wearing my suit but had taken off my suit pants and was sitting on my foldable IKEA sofa bed feeling extremely depleted.

I remember thinking to myself: "None of these jobs even sound remotely interesting to me. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t know what my Big P is!"

Ever since that moment, I would occasionally be back in that similar state of mind, and it was always after going through a crossroads or transition in my life.

And even though I knew there was value in examining what the Big P was, it was always such an excruciating painful, lonely, and dread-inducing experience.

The question itself feels so colossal and important, that I always felt like I owe it to me to have an eloquent, succinct, and sophisticated answer to it.

I fantasize myself asking my brain about the Big P, like prompting ChatGPT, and having it spit out an answer like “42”, just like the supercomputer did in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy when asked "the Ultimate Question of Life, Universe, and Everything.”

Today as I'm typing this newsletter, is the first time ever I have finally stopped pondering about the Big P.

Here are 3 steps to help you find your purpose:

1) Reframe what “purpose” means to you

Finding your purpose was never meant to be a singular answer that quells all the confusion and discomfort we have in life.

We crave to have this singular answer because our human minds are incredibly averse to uncertainty and ambiguity.

I realize it’s not romantic or poetic to declare a life purpose so much as my ego wants to numb the confusing mess of being a human.

That’s when I realized this truth: purpose is a moment-to-moment listening.

To live in alignment with one’s purpose isn’t picking one identity, craft, skillset, or industry and being attached to it, but rather being with each moment fully, authentically, and with surrender.

Once I realized that, I knew it was never about discovering the Big P but rather about exploring and enjoying the journey of connecting and weaving in and out of all these beautiful small Ps.

The reframing shifts the spotlight from focusing on the grand why to focus instead on the moment and the present right in front of us.

So instead of asking yourself: “What is the purpose in life?”

Try asking this question instead: “What brings me alive at this point in my life?”

2) Listen to what your soul is telling you

If it wasn’t for the pandemic, which forced me to be isolated, unemployed, and lonely, then I wouldn’t have even known what “listening” truly meant.

I realized that there is always so much power, wisdom, and intuition that is buried deeply within all of us.

And it has always been with us, ever since we were born, to all the years we were in school, and then to our years of adulthood, and it has always been waiting for us to uncover it.

It has always been trying to communicate with us, either through “gut feelings” or whispers, but there are also ways where we can amplify the voice so we can hear it more clearly.

Here are two tools/frameworks I utilize:

a) Be with the breath

As someone who meditates daily and has been doing it every day for the past 1,125 days, this daily practice is how I tune into myself each day.

And what’s behind the meditation practice is just simply being with the breath over and over again, and savoring it fully the hundredth, thousandth, or even the millionth time.

Sometimes the idea of meditating can feel daunting or intimidating

If you are just starting, just focus on being with the breath whatever that means to you.

Just 5 times, 20 times, or even 2 minutes each day, and notice how it feels to you.

Vitality and magic are waiting for you in your breath. And you can also only find it if you are not looking for it or be attached to the outcome of finding it.

Approach it with curiosity and joy, like a student would, and have fun with it.

b) Be with the body

When is the last time you tune into the body?

Most of us, including me, spend more time paying attention to our minds than our bodies.

Our minds help us complete the tasks we need to do each day so we can feel productive and accomplished.

Our minds even help us process the books we read, the music we listen to, and that Netflix show we’re binging.

But there is also so much wisdom being stored in our bodies, waiting for us to drop into it.

This is especially true for the emotions we don’t usually carve out space and time for, and they often get pushed down and stored in our bodies.

And the only way to unlock them is to just be in it.

Just notice and be with whatever shows up.

Try telling yourself this: Any sensations, feelings, and emotions that arise are all welcome. Because I know they are all trying to tell me something really important.

3) Leap into it

Once you reframed what finding one’s purpose means to you, you listened to what your soul is telling you

What’s left is finally riding the self-belief and courage you’ve unearthed to leap into action.

This will look different for everyone.

You may decide to:

• ask for a promotion

• get a new job

• move to a new city

• go back to school

• switch careers

• start therapy

• get a coach

• take a break

• start a new hobby

• start a business

• travel the world

• or even stay at exactly where you are

It is all okay.

There are no right and wrong choices because, at the end of the day, only you and your inner self know what you need to do at this moment.

And the beautiful part is reminding yourself is that you are simply breathing life into a new small p.

And if you encounter a crossroad again, you can always return to the drawing board to repeat steps #2 & #3.

If you can surrender to this process, to this river of life that keeps flowing, then you will always be living with and within your purpose.

☀️ How can I help?

If you enjoyed reading this week’s issue, I ask you to do one of two things:

1. Share it with someone else who will find it valuable.

2. Schedule a call with me to discuss whether coaching could be another way to help you on your journey of figuring out your next step and finding your purpose.

And that's it for now! ✨

Thank you for reading this edition all the way to the end. I appreciate you 🙏

Thanks for being part of this journey.

Hope to see you in the next issue!

This week I did something big.

I took a leap and decided to do a pivot that my soul has been aching for me to do for a while now: I am starting a mindset & creativity coaching practice.

I want to help others overcome their biggest limiting beliefs, and uncover their inner potential and “zone of genius” so that they can build and live their best lives.

This was the compounding of a lot of self-work, introspection, mindfulness practice, therapy, reading, writing, building, and sharing I've done in the past 4 years, and I want to pass along everything I've learned on this journey.

The moment I decided to walk this path, I felt something shifted inside me.

I felt my heart open in a way I can't explain. Everything felt more purposeful and I could tap into my self-belief much more easily.

But getting to the point of making that leap wasn't easy. It took overcoming some of my own limiting beliefs to get there

These were 3 big limiting beliefs that I had to overcome:

1) "It's too risky"

This was the first pervasive thought that ran through my mind.

I could recall the voice of a friend voicing the statistical probability of entrepreneurs not “making it”. Or headlines pointing out the state of the current economy, job market, and inflation. And there were also the voices of my parents who believed that it was safer to go back to a full-time tech job.

But when I took a step back, I realized that what usually seemed like the riskier path isn't always. The path we often see as safe may often be the one laden with more uncertainty.

By trusting my heart and finding something that aligns deeply with my sense of purpose, while not having to depend on anyone else like a boss, it meant that I had more control over the success of the venture.

It reminded me why in that lens, it could be seen as the safer bet.

The safest bet is often the one you can bet on yourself. You have the best odds in the house because you know exactly what makes you tick.

2) "I have to keep doing the thing I'm already the best at"

This was one of the hardest ones to overcome.

I have been working in tech for 9 years, 2 and a half most recently in which I coached founders how to build with no-code.

When I looked at my skillsets developed over the years, there was a very rational part of me that thought that I should stay in this industry and do what I know best.

"These are skillsets that will be more highly respected in the professional world"

"This is where the money is at! You should stick with it."

"You've already invested so much of your time, energy, and money into this. Why switch now?"

These were all thoughts that were swirling in my head, begging me to stay put and be "rational".

But I realize that's the scary part about operating in your "zone of excellence."

Most of us tend to spend most of our time here because it's often something we have spent a lot of years honing our skills around.

But it dawned on me that the opportunity cost of not operating in my "zone of genius" was too great to ignore now and I realized that I needed to do it for my future self.

3) "I want to do it, but I can't afford to go all in"

“I could just take a half leap”, I told myself.

Put my toe in the water but left room to fall back to my no-code coaching if something didn't work out. Sounds like a great plan right?

Some studies have shown that having a Plan B can harm us rather than help us.

It also reminded me of a speech Arnold Schwarzenegger gave called "I Hate Plan B".

"Plan B becomes a safety net," he explains. "It says that if I fail...I have something else there that will protect me, and that's not good. Because people perform better when there is no safety net."

I knew that if I believed in myself, and wanted to succeed, I just needed to go all in.

So that’s where I am today. I’m boldly stepping into a new chapter and I invite you all the come along with me.

If you are also someone who wants to step into yours, find your “zone of genius”, and am curious to see what you’re capable of, I gotchu!

🎥 This Week on Youtube

This is my first ever solo YouTube video and even though I realized too late that the video quality could have been recorded better, I’m still glad I got started! I plan to use these YouTube videos as a way to share openly and vulnerably about this journey and what you can learn from it. You can subscribe and follow along here.

☀️ How can I help you?

If you are interested in working more closely with me, here are 2 ways I can help you:

1. Apply for the Fear to Freedom Accelerator Program where I offer 1-on-1 coaching to help you overcome your biggest limiting beliefs so you can make more money, and cultivate stronger relationships, all while feeling more free, joyful, and excited about living the life you’ve always wanted. Learn more about it here.

2. If you have a business you want to promote, feel free to reply to this email or DM me on Twitter.

And that's it for now! ✨

Thank you for reading this edition all the way to the end. I appreciate you 🙏

Did you like this post? It would mean THE WORLD to me if you could share this on your socials and tag me at @atsaotsao. Thanks again!

Hope to see you in the next issue!

I always joked with my fiancé that "I didn't choose the coach life. The coach life chose me."

When I started my entrepreneurial journey back in the second half of 2020, I never imagined being a coach.

In fact, I didn't even know what a coach does, how they work, and why someone would pay for a service like this.

I had never encountered a coach, never hired a coach, and I didn't know anyone in my life who either was or had worked with one.

My limited idea of entrepreneurship during that time was mostly based in tech, where I was introduced to the indie-hacking, solopreneur, and no-code world that encouraged a path of financial freedom that didn't hinge around a full-time job, a technical founder, nor being in the whims of venture capital money.

I became convinced that this was exactly what I needed to do to create the life that I wanted.

I spent days and hours learning to build with no-code. At one point I even went on to build and launch 12 products in 12 weeks. I knew that with my product experience + these new building skills I acquired, I could build a software product all by myself and create something where I could earn recurring revenue and can have the highest potential of building wealth in the long term.

Screenshot from a virtual workshop I did with #100daysofnocode

Around the same time, a founder reached out to me for a call to ask some questions about no-code. At that time, I had been experimenting and building with an array of tools for months now and was more than happy to share my knowledge.

One virtual call eventually evolved into an in-person co-working session, where I offered as much support, knowledge, and help as possible.

Then she asked me a question that changed the trajectory of my life: 
"Will you be my no-code coach?"

That's right. She pitched ME to be her coach.

I asked her how much she would be willing to pay for a service like this, and that was how I landed my first client and kick-started my coaching career.

Since I started in 2021, I have worked with 16 coaching clients, and have spent more than 750 hours coaching others how to build and launch their products and businesses.

During this journey, I learned 5 big takeaways about why one should consider coaching:

1. You are making a difference

One of the most difficult parts of working at a lot of full-time jobs is the abstraction of the impact of your work.

My ex-roommate quit his job working at the United Nations to study to be a doctor at the age of 27 simply because he was sick of not being able to visually see himself make an impact or improve someone's life for the better.

When you are coaching, you are always working closely with an individual to help them overcome challenges and reach their personal as well as professional goals.

And the best part is being able to be an ally to that journey and get the front-row seat to see these positive changes happen in front of you.

2. You are taking a leap and starting your own business

When you are starting a coaching business, you are stepping out of the sidelines and into the arena of becoming an entrepreneur and creating your own service business.

What separates this from other common service businesses like consulting, freelancing, or having your agency is that this is a "do-with-you" model instead of a "do-for-you" model.

In this model you are often:

• Taking a more collaborative approach that requires more patience and creativity but makes the clients feel more empowered.

• Foster incredibly strong relationships with the clients because this model requires you to build high levels of trust and could often lead to higher client satisfaction and potential referrals.

• Creating a more personalized and customized solution where you tailor your skillsets to fit the unique needs and situations of each client.

• Allowing meaningful, in-depth work with clients without requiring a large scale of operations or resources.

3. You will have a diverse clientele

In the 2 and half years of coaching, I've worked with not just tech founders and workers, I've also worked with a chef, a chiropractor, a teacher, and even a wine sommelier.

I have worked with clients who are based all over the U.S. but also in Amsterdam, Australia, Nairobi, Singapore, India, and Taiwan.

Remote coaching has opened me up to a wide range of clients with different backgrounds and goals that I would not have ever imagined.

The diversity has not just expanded my empathy and understanding of humanity but also has made the work interesting, challenging, as well as rewarding.

4. You will have a lot of flexibility

As a coach, you get to design it to complement the dream life you want to have.

One of the best things about coaching is being able to set your schedules, work remotely, and choose the clients you want to work with.

5. You will keep learning and evolving

As a coach, you are essentially opting in to become a lifelong learner: both in your field and in yourself.

This profession encourages you to help others grow but also encourages your own personal and professional growth.

Coaching has not only improved my communication skills, increased my confidence, and made me a more empathetic person, but it has drastically improved my divergent and creative problem-solving skills.

And through your coaching sessions, over time you will be in a unique position to understand very intricately the pain points of specific niches where you have the potential to evolve your practice through:

• Experimenting with specialized coaching services to tailor for specific niches

• Create courses where you can sell online and at a more scalable model

• Create other knowledge or even software products based on what you have learned

☀️ How can I help you?

Speaking of coaching:

I am currently launching a new coaching program where I will help you overcome your limiting beliefs to launch a coaching business and land your first paying client in 90 days.

If that sounds like something you may be interested in read the full program details and apply HERE

And that's it for now! ✨

Thank you for reading this edition all the way to the end. I appreciate you 🙏

Did you like this post? It would mean THE WORLD to me if you could share this on your socials and tag me at @atsaotsao. Thanks again!

Hope to see you in the next issue!

I have never considered starting a podcast before last September.

Like many people, I had a lot of limiting beliefs:

• “What’s the point of starting another podcast when there’s so many out there already?”

• “Why would anyone want to listen to a podcast interview by me, when I’m not a famous or well-known person?”

• “How will I even get anyone to agree to join my podcast as a guest?”

But then I spoke with Karthik Puvvada, often called ‘KP’ on the internet (@thisiskp_) and he told me that he noticed that one of my superpowers was my curiosity. He emphasized that if I use the podcast as a way to utilize and deepen that curiosity in me and put in the reps, I will not only be transformed by that experience but will end up creating something incredible.

And that’s why I made the leap to become a podcaster.

This is why I’m beyond excited that today, I get to sit down and chat with the man himself, KP. As a founder, podcast host, venture partner, and proud dad, he shares his non-linear and messy founder journey and lessons he’s learned along the way.

On today's episode you'll learn:

• 🏔️ A 3-Point Criteria For Making Big Life Decisions

• 🏃🏻‍♂️ How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs and Take Action

• ❤️ Why Business Equals Service and Service Equals Joy

• ✍🏻 The Power of a Daily Writing Habit

Here are a few juicy excerpts from today's episode to get you flowing:

Recognizing What Is The Biggest Barrier in Entrepreneurship: "The Internet's free. Everybody can learn pretty much anything, no code, whatever they want to learn. But the biggest barrier in the first few levels of this is just self-doubt and limiting beliefs and thinking: who are you to go live the dream that you want to live? That is the voice that I feel like a lot of us initially have to overcome. And eventually, it becomes why not me, which is where I am right now. So when I see someone succeeding, I'm like, why not me?” — KP (12:00)

Developing a Marathon Mindset: “You could have run 20 marathons before. But if you run the 21st marathon with me, you still have to run every mile. Like, it doesn't get shorter just because you ran 20. Right? And then the medal is waiting for you at the finish line. So everybody's like, Where's my medal? I ran 4 miles. I'm like, no. This is a marathon. They're not handing out medals. And it doesn't matter if you are the fastest person to reach the 100-meter dash or all these early sprints doesn't matter. It's the messy middle that we need to persevere. — KP (36:51)

If you’re a current or aspiring entrepreneur looking for inspiration to start or even continue on your journey, this episode is a must-listen!

#3: KP - How to Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs To Become an Entrepreneur

👀 Come to My Senses

Every week, I round up all sorts of interesting things that I found on the internet that engaged with each of my five senses (sight, smell, touch, sound, taste). Enjoy!

• Just rewatched Jim Carrey’s commencement speech to the Maharishi International University to feel inspired to my life to embrace more love in my life and less fear.

• TIL that our human nose can distinguish between one trillion scents. Wild!

• Did you know there is an entire interactive experience of the ENTIRETY of the Apollo 17 mission in real-time? Oh boy, do I love the internet!

• I’m been listening to more forest sounds at tree.fm.

• On days when I miss the taste of coffee, I will brew myself a cup of de-caffeinated coffee. Today I learned about how it’s made with the Roselius Method and the history behind it.

☀️ How can I help you?

If you are interested in working more closely with me, here are 3 ways I can help you:

1. Apply for a free 1-hour coaching call with me to get personalized guidance on building digital products, without using a line of code. I help aspiring and non-technical founders build and launch their digital products and businesses in 90 days 💡🚀

2. I am currently offering 60 minutes of FREE coaching for 5 aspiring entrepreneurs who want to overcome their limiting beliefs to start their businesses. Schedule a call here.

2. If you have a business you want to promote, feel free to reply to this email or DM me on Twitter.

And that's it for now! ✨

Thank you for reading this edition all the way to the end. I appreciate you 🙏

Did you like this post? It would mean THE WORLD to me if you could share this on your socials and tag me at @atsaotsao. Thanks again!

Hope to see you in the next issue!

When I got let go from my job back in May 2020, my dreams were shattered.

I hated how crappy it made me feel.

Hated how lost I was.
Hated how worthless I felt.
Hated how I had to start over.

Basing my self-worth and confidence on the salary and status of the job title was no longer an option.

I was raised to always keep looking for the next job. Staying unemployed always felt like it was an irresponsible thing to do and that I was going to be left behind.

I was also afraid of being judged. Being labeled as lazy.

But because of the forced isolation and silence of the pandemic, I paused. And in pausing I started to think, to listen to my inner thoughts, to ask questions, and slowly I started exploring new frontiers of my mind and my potential.

I spent hours upon hours educating myself about no-code and started building and launching all kinds of experiments, which led me to make my first internet dollars.

I picked up reading again, started meditating, and began to open my heart and mind up to all my thoughts and emotions. It even led me to write a 14-page letter to my dad about anger.

I started coaching others on building and launching digital products and businesses. My first coaching client even wrote me a handwritten thank you letter that I still keep pinned next to my desk.

One of my most prized possessions

Ever since I graduated, I've avoided unemployment like a plague, but I would have never imagined that unemployment could be one of my biggest teachers.

These are the 3 big lessons I've learned from unemployment:

1. The difference between being vs. doing

One of the biggest traps of living in a post-industrial or capitalistic society is that the world rewards doing.

The better you are at doing your job, providing value, or making money, the more rewarded or respected you are.

I learned that I have spent the majority of my life doing rather than being.

Because of what my parents, school, and later of my jobs demanded of me, I prided myself as a doer. But when I stopped, it felt like I didn't know how to live anymore.

That was the push for me to learn to be. Through practicing mindfulness, I slowly learned to just be.

And in being, I learned that I am enough and deserve to be loved just the way I am, not because of the things I do.

2. The importance of slowing down

I learned that you need to slow down to go faster and farther. It's a paradoxical truth that bears repeating.

I've spent so many late nights, travels, and even weekends bent over my laptop with bad posture working, all because I wanted to do well.

And in doing well, I could be seen as valuable to the team and company. That means that the velocity of my trajectory of rising to be a VP or even a Chief of Product one day can be faster.

But when I lost the job, not only was that plan completely derailed, but I realized that I had not been taking care of my mind and body.

I had put on a lot of weight and I started noticing a chronic back pain that wouldn't go away.

And where there was no longer work to occupy my mind, I noticed how it was always anxious, impatient, and restless.

It made me realize that life is a marathon, and if want to run farther, I have to prioritize self-care, practice doing things more slowly and intentionally, and utilize all the tools I can get my hands on to avoid burnout.

Since then, I have learned to be less attached to outcomes and to have stronger mental fitness when it comes to dealing with the uncertainties in life.

3. The pivot to entrepreneurship

After I stopped doing, started being, and learned to slow down, I started to realize just how much space, time, and even safety I had.

At first, I was bored out of my mind. I had so much time on my hands that I didn't even know what to do with it.

But slowly I realize it's also the first time I am the most attuned to my thoughts and emotions.

I used the opportunity to journal and reflect on my thoughts, goals, ideas, and aspirations. I focused on the things I wanted because I wanted them and not because it's defined by a "should" from someone else.

For the first time, I could hear the whispers and understood what Oprah meant when she often said "Your life speaks to you in whispers."

It’s not like in the movies where a lightbulb would suddenly go off in my head, but I was able to understand where life was nudging me and I followed.

It led me to be a coach, which was odd because, at that time, I didn’t know what it was or knew anyone around me who was one or had worked with one before.

But it ended up being the most fulfilling entrepreneurial path I could ever have imagined. And even today I still feel myself being nudged forward to expand into my potential.

If you are someone who has recently been laid off or is currently unemployed, just know that I see you. I’ve been in your shoes and I know how difficult it can be.

Always remember that the negative emotions you are experiencing will pass. This experience can be your biggest teacher if you allow it. And only you will know best what you should do next.

If you ever need an extra daily dose of positivity sent to your phone via SMS, check out Positext. Best of luck! ❤️

👀 Come to My Senses

Every week, I round up all sorts of interesting things that I found on the internet that engaged with each of my five senses (sight, smell, touch, sound, taste). Enjoy!

• This "show" In & Of Itself on Hulu is the best thing I've seen in a long long time. If you are feeling disconnected from the world and with humanity, give this a watch! I promise you won’t regret it.

• Go down the rabbit hole with me on this Reddit thread answering the question: "What's the worst smell you've ever smelled?"

• This year I'm committed to improving my handwriting. For some reason, while doing research for tips on it, my brain took me to researching Da Vinci's notebook 🤷🏻‍♂️

• I love listening to these raw and vulnerable voice-mails from random strangers on the internet

• I've been drinking matcha instead of coffee since last year because it gives me a "cleaner" caffeine high. Give it a try!

☀️ How can I help you?

If you are interested in working more closely with me, here are 3 ways I can help you:

1. Apply for a free 1-hour coaching call with me to get personalized guidance on building digital products, without using a line of code. I help aspiring and non-technical founders build and launch their digital products and businesses in 90 days 💡🚀

2. I am currently offering 30 minutes of FREE coaching for 5 aspiring entrepreneurs who want to ditch fear and doubt to start their businesses. Schedule a call here .

2. If you have a business you want to promote, feel free to reply to this email or DM me on Twitter.

And that's it for now! ✨

Thank you for reading this edition all the way to the end. I appreciate you 🙏

Did you like this post? It would mean THE WORLD to me if you could share this on your socials and tag me at @atsaotsao. Thanks again!

Hope to see you in the next issue!

1. Believe In Myself

There is a big difference between having just some confidence in the value of your work vs. feeling full-body trust and determination around your being and the direction of your life.

For the past two years of building my coaching business, the confidence I had in my abilities to be an entrepreneur would often fluctuate.

There were good and bad days, as I've shared via a video in this tweet, and they often revolved around factors like, my mood, how satisfied my coachees were with my service, and the things people in my life would say to me.

One thing I realized is that for me to elevate myself to the next level, I needed to increase the amount of belief I have in myself, my vision, and my mission.

I'm reminded of my second podcast interview with Danny Miranda where he said:

2024 will be the year where I put all my chips in when it comes to believing in myself and what I'm trying to accomplish with my life.

It's one where I will start my days in front of the mirror and remind myself by saying to my reflection: "I believe in you, man. You got this! 💪"

2. Stay Curious, Courageous, and Expansive 

I have spent a lot of 2023 finally conquering the fear of showing up online and the fear of being seen or judged by the public eye, and I want to continue building on that momentum.

Recently I had a long phone conversation with my mom where she shared with me that she has been learning and teaching other adults like herself how to sing more confidently.

One of the creative goals she has for herself this year is to learn to create these mini-music videos by herself via her phone.

I asked her: "Would you feel comfortable sharing these videos? Like on IG or Youtube?"

"No way."

"Why not? What does it make you feel?"

"It makes me scared. I'm scared of being judged by others. But I'm not the type of person that needs to be seen in public."

It reminded me why it took me so long and much inner work to overcome the fear of showing up online.

I now know and am reminded that I'm not just healing my insecurities, fear, and childhood wounds, but potentially the wounds that my parents, my grandparents, and potentially even my ancestors have felt.

This is what motivates me to show up more confidently this year.

This year I am planning to continue

• publishing my thoughts, ideas, and learnings through this newsletter

• hosting world-class interviews with new guests via the Joy of Building podcast

• sharing about the ups and downs of my journey as an entrepreneur in public via Twitter, IG, & Linkedin

• exploring what it means to be an abstract artist

3. Double Down 

I want to double down on everything I have been doing in the past years that has brought me a lot of joy, fulfillment, and monetary success.

Part of this process requires me to be extremely honest about things that I've done that haven't worked and have the courage to let go of them.

This includes aspects of my coaching value proposition and offer that have not had as much traction as I would have liked and I will be spending more time reevaluating and double-downing on the aspects of it that are resonating with others.

Here are all the things I'm doubling down on:

• My coaching program. I want to take what's been working for me in the past two years and combine it with a new pricing and offer that will allow me to make it more sustainable for myself.

• Continue making new episodes for my podcasts. My goal is to record and publish at least 2 episodes a month.

• Writing and sharing via this newsletter. I want to share more consistently weekly.

• My career as an artist. I no longer just want to do my art as a "hobby" but rather something that is a significant part of who I am. My goal is to be able to sell at least 1 painting this year.

4. Continue Compounding

One thing I'm extremely proud of about what I've been able to achieve in the past years is how consistent I've been in maintaining my habits.

Ever since I read Atomic Habits back in 2019, I've invested heavily in the healthy habits I want to have, and the person I want to embody.

And I'm proud to say I've:

• meditated for 1039 consecutive days

• read daily for 30 minutes which resulted in reading 35 books in 2023

• completed 20+ abstract drawings

• journaled for at least 330 / 365 days

• missed only 1 of my monthly reviews and a few of my weekly reviews

It's just as Charlie Munger says about compounding:

And I don't intend to interrupt any of this compounding any time soon.

5. Find My People

Recently I've been hearing more and more about the word scenius.

The word was originally coined by Brian Eno:

Brian, along with individuals like authors Kevin Kelly and Austin Kleon, believes that if you look closely at history, you will realize that some of the most powerful and innovative ideas and creations didn't directly come from these "lone geniuses" but rather a community or scene of people where they would often look at, support, copy, compete, and collaborate with each other.

Over these past few years, I have experienced this feeling through showing up, hanging out, and sharing online, and also through the experiences I've had from joining virtual fellowship programs. But this year I intend to look more deeply into how I can find, foster, and create these scenius in my IRL life.

I have no idea where to start but for the first time in my life, I'm deeply committed to being intentional about making adult friends and surrounding myself with people that can help me get to where I want to in life.

What are your goals and aspirations for this year?

👀 Come to My Senses

Every week, I round up all sorts of interesting things that I found on the internet that engaged with each of my five senses (sight, smell, touch, sound, taste). Enjoy!

• I can’t stop staring at this image of Uranus and its rings produced recently by NASA’s James Webb Space Telescope

• I’ve been starting all my mornings doing this to clear my nose. Been trying to pay closer attention to my sense of smell this year!

• One thing I’m looking forward to this year is checking out the new wing of the Natural History Museum and go touch the walls.

• Been enjoying listening to Sampha’s sophomore album Lahai.

• Kewpie Mayo has been my most recent favorite ingredient to use. Try out this trendy recipe!

And that's it for now! ✨

Thank you for reading this edition all the way to the end. I appreciate you 🙏

Did you like this post? It would mean THE WORLD to me if you could share this on your socials and tag me at @atsaotsao. Thanks again!

Hope to see you in the next issue!