Girl, What’s Been Going On?

Whew. It’s August. Which means school is starting up again soon, the world is about to become a haze of fall smells and colors, and before you know it we’re going to be in the holiday season. But if you know me, you know that fall is my favorite season, and I’ll take the dog days of August and remnants of summer in September, just to reach my ideal destination of hoodies, jeans, and flip flops weather. 🍁

If you missed me in your inbox at the beginning of the month, I hope you understand that I needed a bit of a break. I thought about not sending an issue at all this month 🫣, but I decided later was better than never. So here we are, in the last couple of weeks of August, and I’m writing to you still feeling like I need a break, but I’m energized enough to tell you what I’ve been up to and how school is going.

For my followers on social media, you know that a couple of weekends ago I attended the Black Health Connect Conference in Washington, DC and had an amazing time! It was a time filled with friendship, recognition, connection, and more. I went into the weekend feeling a bit stressed, but walked away with a renewed sense of self and an awesome appreciation for being among Black people. There’s something so damn special about us. Our energy. Our communal love. Our being. ✊🏾

If you’re not familiar with Black Health Connect, you should get yourself familiar with them because I think this conference was the first of many to bring together Black health care and public health professionals to discuss topics like innovation, financial literacy, social media, executive leadership, and more. I attended the conference as an inaugural 40 Under 40 Honoree, for which I am thankful and humbled. I left the conference as a two award shawty, having received another inaugural award from Acclinate, the Health Equity NOW Award. 🤯 While both awards are meaningful, there’s something about receiving an award for being authentically me: a good troublemaker, a space-taker, and a force when it comes to all things health equity, that just hits differently. It makes you smile a bit wider and walk with a bit more oomph in your steps. It makes me proud in a way that I’ve needed over the past few months as I’ve been navigating waters that feel uncertain and choppy at times.

A picture of the two awards presented to me during the Black Health Connect Conference.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I don’t do the work that I do for the recognition. I don’t do it because I think one day I’ll receive an award. I do it because it’s my passion for life and my driving force to wake up in the morning. It took a really long time to get here, but now that I am here, I know that it is divine and I will accept whatever the universe has in plans for me.

If you’re interested in learning more about me, check out a free trial of the HEJ Inner Circle. Members of the Inner Circle get access to exclusive AMAs, a more personal newsletter, and more exciting features to come.

I TOOK A BREAK!

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Well not a full break, considering I still finished two courses over the summer, but I decided to drop my third course and allow myself time to breathe over this past month. This summer I planned to take three courses:

1. Mixed Methods for Research in Public Health

2. Social Justice: Policy, Practice, and Research

3. Teaching, Learning, and Leading

But, like I said… I needed a break. School starts up again in just a couple of weeks and I’ll be back on the grind with official and unofficial classes (I’m trying to place out of prerequisite courses).

Next term I’ll be in one course: Qualitative Research Theory and Methods. (There may be a proposal planning course that I take as well, but I’ll let you know when I know.)

It’s been a while since I talked about my mental health, and while I’m doing much better than I was six months ago, I am still struggling some days. It would have been so easy to just power through and complete another course, but I knew that if I did that, I would be sacrificing my own mental health and for what? Because I want to finish in an arbitrary self-imposed timeline? Because I am still unpacking the perfectionist/failure complex I have? 🤷🏾‍♀️ All the things.

Over the past few months of my mental health journey, I’ve been unlearning the idea that worth is tied to productivity. I’ve been teaching myself that embracing a soft life means resting when I need to, and providing my whole self with the grace to know when a rest is needed. And whether it be a nap, a break from work/school/responsibilities, or an entire disconnection from the world for a bit, that’s okay. I am okay. I am worthy of it.

If you’re like me (and I suspect many of you are), you likely have a hard time resting. You have been wired to think that productivity is the best indicator of worth and value. You tell yourself that you should work until the job is done, no breaks, no stop. You tell yourself that only quitters stop and success is dictated by your constant drive. Now what if I told you that was all a lie? And not just a small lie, but like one of the biggest lies we’ve ever been told as a society. Would you be shocked if I told you that in my times of rest, I have been more successful than I ever have been when in constant motion? Yep, I excel when I give my body time to rest, to dream, to be. It’s counterintuitive I know, but it’s reality. We are not meant to be in a constant state of go. It’s crippling to our nervous system and our bodies desire to find homeostasis. Thankfully there are a lot of great people talking about rest now, including Tricia Hersey. If you haven’t heard of Rest is Resistance and The Nap Ministry, now is your time to get acquainted. It’s time we all took a rest.

What Are You Doing For Fun?

I’m still spending all the time I can with my friends. Last year I embarked on this idea of radical friendship, which for me means intentional connection, love, and appreciation for my friends. It means setting up a calendar to connect with them one on one, virtually and in person, and being honest that I need their support as I venture into the new facets of my life. Radical friendship means honesty with love, new adventures, and soul-shaking laughter. It means that I’ve healed from my days of feeling like a bad friend because of depression and anxiety. I accept my friends for who they are and they likewise accept me for who I am. Platonic love is beyond beautiful and I’m so thankful that my friends have allowed me to try out new things with them all in the hopes of a greater bond. I am blessed.

Speaking of friends, meeting pandemic friends in real life is my favorite pastime and thanks to the Black Health Connect Conference, I got to meet quite a few of my pandemic friends. There’s always a concern that the vibes are different in person than online, but honestly, I have had the best experience with finally getting to hug and be in the physical presence of my friends. Again, I am blessed. 🥰 

Now that I’ve set the stage, let me share a few photos from the conference, so that you can feel the love radiating from the images.

A photo of me and Omari, the Public Health Millennial.

A photo of Myles, me, Omari, Tefo, and Araba.

A photo of me and Tefo.

Wait, What’s Next?

Are you listening to Health Equity Mondays? If the answer is no — why not?! 🤦🏾‍♀️ You can find our podcast by searching “Health Equity Mondays” on all podcast platforms. Not into podcasts? Don’t worry. You can watch us on YouTube!

AND - because I’m not busy enough, I am a co-host of a brand new podcast, The Conscious Tokens (TCT). TCT is all about three “token” black friends navigating the Black experience personally and professionally in America. Join us as we continue breaking stereotypes and discuss all things impacting the culture from everyday life, entertainment, health, wealth, and more. If you’ve ever felt like the “token”, then this podcast is for you! You can find TCT on Apple & Spotify podcasts.

I’ll be back in your inboxes in September. If you miss me - you know how to get more of me.

Until next time, always remember to take up as much space as you need.

Girl, What’s Been Going On?

Is it really July? We’re like really at the midway point of 2023! Is that wild to anyone but me? 🤯

I can’t help but me in a time of reflection and appreciation for all that 2023 has brought as we embark on this midpoint. Remember I shared my quarterly review with you in April - well now is the time for another check-in. What has happened with those goals you put forth at the start of the year? Are you on track, or do you need to make a large scale pivot with six months left in the year? Let’s get after it.

Step 1. Check Your Vision Board. After six months of staring at your vision board, by know it should feel like another appendage. I see mine every time I pick up my phone, and if you know me, you know my phone is constantly near me, for the good and the bad of that. Remember in Q1, we added virtual or physical stickers to celebrate accomplishments? Well, it’s time to do that again, but this time take a really good look at what pictures/phrases/ideas are left. Do they align with where you are right now? If not, it might be time to remove and replace. I know it my feel taboo, but if something isn’t serving you, why are you keeping it within your vision? 🤔Afraid to move forward… let me give you a sneak into what I’m removing from my board — all things race related. Last quarter I told myself that I would give myself the rest of the year to reframe, refocus, and recenter myself in the world of fitness and races. That means I no longer need to be reminded of the goals I had for myself at the start of this year because I WILL NOT be completing them (and that’s absolutely okay). Have you made similar decisions? If you haven’t, I hope you feel empowered to look at what is/isn’t serving and let it go! (cue Elsa in the background)

Step 2. Check-in With Your Word. That pesky word of the year is back. Has it been whispering in your ear like sweet missives from a partner, or has it been flying around you like a gnat? Time to investigate how you feel about your word and whether it will take you into the next half of the year, proud, or ashamed. If the latter, you know what I’m about to say… let it go. You might be asking yourself, well then what was the point of choosing a word at the beginning of the year? To give you something to embrace as a version of you that was six months younger and less wise. You today, is not you from January 2023, and that is beautiful. You today, does not have to apologize for saying, that version of me is no longer in the driver’s seat and I want to direct my energy in a different direction. That’s growth, and I love to see it.

Step 3. Follow-Up On Your Goals. You can probably sense what needs to happen here. Reflect. Rework. Remove. Repeat. That’s it. The four Rs will take you through your goal list and what I hope is staring back at you when you finish is a list of goals that honor where you are now and where you want to be when that countdown ball hits the cold December ground.

Step 4. CELEBRATE! This is for everyone, no matter how you feel after looking back at the last six months. CELEBRATE that you made it through the first half of 2023 (and didn’t end up on the wrong side of an orca… 😏). Even if you feel like you didn’t accomplish enough or anything at all, CELEBRATE. We deserve to CELEBRATE every day, every minute, every chance we get. So whether you decide to do something big or small, celebrate that you’re still making it. And just so you know, I’m proud of you! Life is not easy and I need you to know that there is someone on this side of the world rooting for you! Always! 💐

If you’re interested in learning more about my personal six month review, check out a free trial of the HEJ Inner Circle. Members of the Inner Circle get access to exclusive AMAs, a more personal newsletter, and more exciting features to come.

Year 2 has already started and I’m loving one of my classes in a way that I have not experienced before at JHSPH.

BUT

As I began writing this, the news of the SCOTUS decision came in and I need to address that because it has so much to do with school and how I came to be where I am.

If you haven’t read or seen yet, on June 29, the SCOTUS dismantled years of legal precedent and stated that affirmative action is no longer legal in private university admissions. While the decision did not fully dismantle affirmative action in its entirety, it did lay the groundwork for more to be overturned in the future. If you’ve been following along, this decision should not be surprising or shocking. It has been in the plans of the conservative right for decades. They gave us the blueprint to their heist of American liberties long ago, but somehow we just didn’t believe them? 🙄

Here’s my TL:DR synopsis of what happened. It’s okay to get rid of affirmative action today because white women have milked the cow for all that it’s worth and are too shortsighted to understand that by standing with the oppressor they are opening the door for their gains to be lost, unless they are legacy. Don’t believe me, just watch.

You think Amy Coney Barrett would be where she is today if it weren’t for affirmative action? Regardless of the 70% white women who oppose affirmative action, as a group they have benefitted the most from it. And it’s not that I ever would have expected her to side with the dissenting opinion, but there’s a special kind of blindness and ignorance that she shares with Clarence Thomas. It’s the type of ignorance that allows a Black man in the United States to have the audacity to say that there was ever a “colorblind Constitution.” It’s a special form of self-hate that I hope to never understand.

In summary, it continues to irritate my soul that we live in a country where fear of Black people progressing will cause oppressed groups to cannibalize each other rather than attack and dismantle white supremacy.

For as long as I have sought out higher education, I have been in predominantly white spaces. I went to Brown University for undergrad, virtually attended the University of Minnesota for my MPH, and am now attending JHU for my doctorate. Do you think affirmative action has helped me get where I am? Absolutely. And am I mad about that? Absolutely not. I appreciate that if it were not for the policy, I might have been overlooked for someone with lesser grades, standardized test scores, extracurriculars, and overall story because of my race. I didn’t get a free pass into any of the schools I applied to and in fact in high school I was told that I was reaching too far for the schools I chose. I was told I wouldn’t get into the two Ivy Leagues I applied to and that I should have more safety schools in my list of 10 colleges. When I spoke with classmates parents, I was also dissuaded. In fact, one mom said to my face, “Brown, don’t you think that’s a reach?” She knew nothing about me, beyond the fact that I was a little Black girl applying to an Ivy her son could not dream of going to. For college, I got into every school I applied to except Harvard University. For my masters and doctoral applications, I got into every school for which I applied. Was it all because of affirmative action? No, but it helped. Without it, I could have worked my ass off to be a top applicant and been rejected by more than just one school in my tenure. I might not be where I am now being able to write about a doctoral program without affirmative action, and that’s why we’re mad and heartbroken. ☹️

Another impact this decision will have? The look and feel of the people we trust with our education, health, and wellbeing… all facets of health equity. The overall health and wellbeing of the Black population is going to be even more in danger as this decision falls out into society. We will have less Black professors, less Black doctors, less Black dentists, less Black pharmacists, etc. The sum = less Black faces in seas of whiteness.

BACK TO SCHOOL

What I was so excited to write about this month was that for the first time in my JHSPH experience, I have felt seen in a class in a way I have only dreamed about. This summer I’m taking three courses:

1. Mixed Methods for Research in Public Health

2. Social Justice: Policy, Practice, and Research

3. Teaching, Learning, and Leading

The class that felt like coming home? Social Justice: Policy, Practice, and Research. (I was reminded of my experiences in my Africana Studies courses that helped me get through four years of being othered.) What made this class special? The entire teaching team (including TA) were Black people. The two professors were Black women, who intentionally held space, sought feedback, and made everyone feel included regardless of location, voice, or background in the material. One of the professors even asked if I recently got a retie… y’all the way that spoke to my soul and made me feel seen, I can’t explain, but I can say it made me feel like I was valued, appreciated, and among family. 🥰 (A retie for those who don’t know is a regular loc maintenance appointment to tame some of the new growth.)

The majority of speakers brought in were from a minoritized population and the readings were from a variety of voices and backgrounds. The design of this class, was what I hoped for last year. To be seen, not only by the professors, but also in the work and external speakers. It’s something that shouldn’t be a dream, it should be a reality. But as we look to the downstream impacts of the SCOTUS decision, it is likely that this class experience will be a flash in the pan, and not the norm. And for that, I am so sorry to my future students. 😢

What Are You Doing For Fun?

I’m spending all the time I can with my friends. And because I’m a nerd, a lot of that time has been spent at the Blacksonian with friends who have been numerous times and friends who are going for the first time. Even though the material can be hard depending on which sections you visit, there’s something that feels at home every time I go to the Blacksonian. The very first time I went to the museum, I wrote, “From the bottom floor to the top, this museum showcases our history, culture, love, and amazing strength. I’ve never seen such a beautiful display of love and admiration. This museum is a love letter to #BlackMagic and I will read it over and over again.” Seven years later and I still feel the same way. So, here are some of my photos taken over the past couple of weekends. And if you’re ever in town and want to see the Blacksonian, hit me up. I always can get tickets and clearly love going.

“A modern word with historic roots, afrofuturism emerged from the anti-racist and abolitionist rhetoric of the 18th and 19th centuries.”

“It rather hurts an Europian eye to see so many negro slaves upon the streets.” This is how I imagine the justices felt this week making their decisions.

Prince’s symbol. Anything Prince will get me every time.

“God created Black people and Black people created style.”

I don’t always get to go to the Contemplative Court, but when I do, I take this photo over and over again. “We are determined… to work and fight until justice runs down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

Wait, What’s Next?

Are you listening to Health Equity Mondays? If the answer is no — why not?! 🤦🏾‍♀️ Last month, Omari and I discussed the impact of student loan repayment and the infamous Titan submarine. You can find our podcast by searching “Health Equity Mondays” on all podcast platforms. Not into podcasts? Don’t worry. You can watch us on YouTube!

If you’re into podcasts, or just want to support me, I’ve been featured in a couple of new podcast episodes over the past month:

1. A Dope Public Health Podcast - “We Got the Jazz ft. Jasmine Leonard, MPH”

2. Sisterhood of Limitless Living - “Taking Space and Making Time for Self-Care: Interview with Jasmine Leonard”

AND - because I’m not busy enough, I am a co-host of a brand new podcast, The Conscious Tokens (TCT). TCT is all about three “token” black friends navigating the Black experience personally and professionally in America. Join us as we continue breaking stereotypes and discuss all things impacting the culture from everyday life, entertainment, health, wealth, and more. If you’ve ever felt like the “token”, then this podcast is for you! You can find TCT on Apple & Spotify podcasts.

I’ll be back in your inboxes in August. If you miss me - you know how to get more of me.

Until next time, always remember to take up as much space as you need.

Girl, What’s Been Going On?

Life has been life-ing in the best ways possible. I’m recently back from my first international trip and still processing the beauty of being able to travel outside of the United States. To move beyond our bubble, feels like a privilege I didn’t know I was missing, and I really need to sit with that for a while. Maybe next month we’ll discuss it a bit more.

In other ways, life has been life-ing and I’ve been pushing myself to continue to show up for HEJ. This month that meant deciding to submit a video for the American Public Health Association (APHA) Film Festival. If you’ve been here for a while, you know I have some mixed feelings when it comes to APHA, but when it comes to being the biggest public health organization and most(ly) respected, I have to choose the positive feelings and get the networking opportunities as they come.

The short film that I submitted was all about medical racism and the history of racism in the realm of physicians. Do you remember this infamous JAMA tweet?

A deleted tweet from JAMA that says, “No physician is racist, so how can there be structural racism in health care?…”

This tweet caused a LOT of backlash and resulted in the resignation of the former editor in chief at JAMA. Some argued that the tweet shouldn’t have been deleted because it could have been a learning opportunity for physicians in how much further we have to go. Thank goodness for screen grabs, because I’ve had this tweet for years and use it to explore medical racism in lectures, and now in my most recent film. For 20 minutes, I explore whether physicians can be racist, and explain why some people think it’s a resounding yes if you ask them.

I’m proud of this film. It was my first time interviewing people to get more of a documentary feel, and with the help of Wendy Martinez, I was able to make it look fairly professional. If you’re a good juju type of person, please send me good vibes as I wait for the decisions in July to determine if my film was selected for the festival. When it is chosen, this would be my second film in an APHA film festival. Not too bad for someone who does this as a hobby. ✊🏾

If you’re interested in learning more about my process for film-making and choosing topics, check out a free trial of the HEJ Inner Circle. Members of the Inner Circle get access to exclusive AMAs and special viewings of my films.

Your girl is ¼ of a doctor! 🥳

A gif of a Black little boy dancing on his chair and celebrating.

Let that sink in.

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I have officially completed one year of my doctoral journey, and it feels overwhelming and exciting all at the same time. Overwhelming because it means I’m one big step closer to comprehensives and really deciding what my dissertation is going to be. Do you know how scary that is?!

As promised, I’m going to give you the list of all of the classes I completed this year, and share some thoughts from my fellow classmates. If you’re interested in learning more details about a specific class, I suggest going back through my previous newsletters where I discuss more of the ins and outs of the classes.

My Year 1 Classes

1. Leading Organizations - Required

2. Racism in Public Mental Health - Elective

3. Youth Voice in Public Health - Elective

4. Media Interviews and Applied Public Health Communications - Required

5. Climate and Health - Required, Problem Solving

6. Fundamentals of Program Evaluation - Required

7. Promoting Equity in Adolescents - Required, Problem Solving

8. Fundamental Tools for Health Equity - Required

9. Prevention of Mental Disorders - Required, Problem Solving

10. Adolescent Health & Development - Required

11. Children in Crisis - Elective

12. Designing a Strategic Plan - Required

13. One Health - Required, Problem Solving

14. Social Context of Adolescent Health - Elective

In general, I will say that my best classes have been my elective courses. I’m not sure how many of my classmates would agree with me, but I think given my background and level of comfort with topics of health equity and concepts of equity, I needed the electives to present something new or to allow me to think in a different way. If I had to choose a couple of required courses that were also good, it would be Fundamentals of Program Evaluation and Media Interviews and Applied Public Health Communications. I think the tools learned in these classes will apply for years and years to come, which makes them stand out in my head. I enjoyed the Media class enough to TA it this past spring, and will likely look to do so again in the winter.

Now, let’s talk about the feasibility of doing 14 courses in one year. I don’t recommend it. Don’t take my path as a roadmap of how to complete your degree. I’ve put myself on an accelerated path for many reasons, which I don’t feel the need to discuss in detail, but there’s a method and many reasons for my absolute madness. Most of my classmates are taking one or two courses per term, and honestly, that’s the way to go. It is a lot to be in multiple courses while working and trying to do life. So, I share, because I promised I would, but please don’t do what I’m doing. It’s ridiculous. 🫠 

To share from my classmates, I asked them to give me one (or a few) word(s) that describe their experience as first year DrPHers. The word cloud below is what they shared.

Word cloud of words that describe first year DrPHers experience. The most frequent words were exhausting, confusing, and rewarding.

Remember when I said most people were taking 1-2 courses — and the word that was most frequently used is still exhausting. This is not easy or for the faint of heart. So if you’re thinking about getting into this school life, just make sure you’re prepared for the mental toll it will take. If you want to know the words I chose… exhausting and affirming. Exhausting for all of the reasons I’ve tried to share, and affirming because I know with every course, every good troublemaker interaction, that I am in the right place. This was the doctor path, I was always supposed to take.

What Are You Doing For Fun?

Traveling. Like planning all the trips and getting out of this country. Like have y’all seen the nonsense that’s happening with DeSantis saying he’s running for President? I have to figure out where I’m going to choose to become an expat. Or maybe I’ll do 90 days around the world and keep moving. I don’t know. We barely survived Cheetoman. I’m not sticking around for DeSanctimonious.

As I said up top, I just got back from my first international trip to… Mexico City, MX! (Or Ciudad de Mexico as I should say, as someone trying to get better with my Spanish!)

I had an amazing trip and if you’re in the Inner Circle, I’m working on a day by day recap with photos to share. If you’re not in the Inner Circle, I wanted to just share a couple of museum related photos that document how true it is that I am seeking Blackness in every place I go...

Did you know about the influence of African rhythms in Mariachi music?

During our trip to the Museo de Tequila y Mezcal, I learned about the African influence in mariachi music. While I’m not surprised, I was excited to see an acknowledgement and homage paid to the influences and interactions of Black people.

Have you seen these instruments before?

The never relenting chains of racism.

Examples of racism and medical racism were all around me during my trip, from the video I created, to the exhibits we saw at the Museo Memoria y Tolerancia. While there were aspects of the museum that were well done, I do think there was a lot lost in translation given the aim of the museum: “Our mission is to disseminate the importance of tolerance, non-violence and human rights. To create awareness through historical memory, particularly from genocide and other crimes. To alert to the danger of indifference, discrimination and violence in order to create responsibility, respect and awareness in each individual that leads to social action.”

I’m not sure how you talk about genocide and other crimes without once mentioning the trans-Atlantic Slave Trade. To start with the Holocaust as the first atrocity of mankind just felt poorly done to me, but given the donors and creators of the museum it quickly made sense. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Okay, and to not end the fun section on a sour note, here’s a photo of me outside the Museo Memoria y Tolerancia.

A photo of Jasmine outside of the Museo Memoria y Tolerancia with extended arms in front of wings made of disposed and discarded gun magazines.

Wait, What’s Next?

Are you listening to Health Equity Mondays? If the answer is no — why not?! 🤦🏾‍♀️ If the answer is yes — have you shared a comment or future topic idea, here?! Last month, Omari and I discussed the cost of health inequity and the FDA’s change to discriminatory blood donation practices (FINALLY). You can find our podcast by searching “Health Equity Mondays” on all podcast platforms. Not into podcasts? Don’t worry. You can watch us on YouTube!

I’ll be back in your inboxes in July. If you miss me - you know how to get more of me.

Until next time, always remember to take up as much space as you need.

Girl, What’s Been Going On?

Well here we are… 9 issues in and still growing! I can’t thank you enough for reading and sharing my newsletter. When I started this last year, I had no idea what it would become and I’m so proud of how far we’ve come in just a year. There are over 100 of you reading my musings on a monthly basis! Y’all know I’m a data geek, so I’m excited by the analytics that say not only are you receiving, but you’re actually reading and engaging. 🤯 So I had to take the time to say thank you for believing in my voice and perspective. It means the absolute world to me.

April was an amazing month for me. So much so, that I can’t remember a lot of what I’ve done. I was present. I was engaged. I was loved on. I loved on. Such a great month that I even shocked myself with trying to think I was still in my 20s and staying up late a few nights. (Spoiler alert: I am not in my 20s anymore and my body definitely knows that… 🫠)

While I’m thankful for the time I had to really rejuvenate myself and lean heavily into my self-care, therapy, acupuncture, and radical expressions of love and friendship, I am eagerly waiting for May. Why you may ask? Well lets talk about it...

Gif of a young Black boy looking into the yonder waiting…

I RECEIVED MY PASSPORT ON FRIDAY, APRIL 28! Yes, I have never owned a passport until my now big age of 36. And while I don’t want to get on my soapbox about how many times I’ve been made to feel less than because I did not have a passport or a story of being outside of the country, I will say that traveling should never be an icebreaker discussion or something that is discussed in general meetings because it is elitist AF and I’ve been made to feel small for something that is common for about a third of the population. In fact, less than half of Black Americans have traveled abroad compared to 75-76% of White and Hispanic Americans! Growing up, my parents owned passports, but as they were dealing with health concerns and those associated financial pitfalls, traveling outside of the US was far from a priority. I even can remember drawing in my Mommy’s passport as a child. 🤷🏾‍♀️

As I got older, traveling was a luxury that I could not afford or think about as I was navigating big life events throughout my adolescence and young adulthood. And it’s really not been until these past few years that I could even financially think about going outside of the country for a vacation or exploration. But now that I am here — y’all get ready because HEJ is going on the move! I have so many places and people I want to see and visit, but with self-care, school, work, Jase and Ginger, and motherhood planning it’s going to be a careful balancing act.

If you’re interested in learning where I plan to travel, check out a free trial of the HEJ Inner Circle. The last post detailed my travel plans and a potential timeline. 

One thing I will share is that for every place I go outside of the United States, I will be looking for Black people because we are everywhere and I am on a quest to prove it. I am on a quest to visit the spaces that have meant something to our Black experience and to discuss all of the things health equity across the world. Stamp after stamp I will be searching for stories and bringing those back to continue my quest to be a storyteller of Black history and our experiences. ✊🏾

New web feature: Comment and let me know where I should go during my travels across the world. FYI: You have to be logged into leave a comment.

How’s School?!

Y’all… term 4 is more than halfway done! Praise be, because your girl needs another break. And while I’ll be in class all summer, some of those classes may be finished while I’m on an international beach somewhere because why not? As promised, my June issue will be a full year recap of my courses and lessons learned. If you’re a first year DrPH cohort member and want to give me things to share, please hit the reply button! I want to include all the voices!

Alright, since I last checked in, quick reminder that I’m in these classes:

1. Social Context of Adolescent Health & Development

2. The One Health Approach to Epidemiology and Global Public Health: Problem Solving Seminar

3. Designing a Strategic Plan

Favorite class without question - Social Context of Adolescent Health & Development. Dr. Terri Powell, is amazing AND I convinced her to work with me as an advisor/mentor/future colleague!!! The rest of these classes — y’all — 🤦🏾‍♀️. But before I go into my One Health class, did I mention that I’m a (teaching assistant) TA for the media course I took during the summer? I’m hoping this is the first of many classes for which I serve as a TA because I love teaching and facilitating... especially the provocative things!

Gif of Annalise Keating teaching with the quote, “The board consists of 3 old white men. How do I know that?”

One Health

Quick plug: If you haven’t heard about one health, you should check out the February episode of Health Equity Mondays. Omari discusses one health and its relation to the East Palestine train derailment.

Alright, so beyond the class having an annoying weekly assignment due on Friday at 8pm (who does that?!) I am learning how to write about how racism impacts all things, especially when animals are involved. I mean not that I needed a class to help me do that, but I’m sure my TAs read my weekly assignments and are like, can this girl find racism as the cause for everything?! Why yes, yes I can. 

Gif of Kelly Rowland dusting dust off her shoulder.

Let’s get a couple of examples in here for you…

• Week 2: We had to write about the potential gaps in the World Health Organization’s International Health Regulations 2005. Well, my two identified gaps: “consideration for the health and social inequities of a State Party and inclusion of relative threshold values for the presence of pathogens in animals.” I wrote, “The IHR fails to provide guidance on how State Parties with inequitable health and racialized caste systems should account for surveillance for different populations. For example, in the United States, lack of public health care infrastructure and resources are predominantly in areas of minoritized populations (Black, Hispanic, poor, etc.). Public health issues could be in these populations for extended periods of time before reaching the rest of the country, thus slowing down the potential for control. Additionally, given the presence of increased comorbidities and stress in minoritized populations, if there is no requirement for data to be disaggregated by race, ethnicity, age, SES, etc., there is potential for population level mitigation efforts to be diminished, as with the ongoing SARS-COV-2 pandemic…Leaving the guidelines open-ended and for individual interpretation does not allow for systematized information for quick decision making and only exacerbates inequitable outcomes for historically excluded populations.”

• Week 4: We were tasked with writing a letter to a republican state senator in North Carolina about the environmental impact of concentrated animal feeding operations (CAFOs). If you haven’t learned about these, here’s a pretty good article that summarizes the environmental impact of these, especially in North Carolina. Given the audience, I couldn’t go full on Black Power, but I was sure to mention a few things… “As we have seen with the COVID pandemic, those living on the margins are first to be hurt by disease and infections. That is and will continue to be the case for the populations in the Black Belt of the state, with the most CAFOs. Workers of and residents living near CAFOs that spray a mixture of animal manure for area crops experience consumption of water that contains antibiotic resistant bacteria, increased respiratory illness, elevated blood pressure, decreased quality of life, and mental stress (Wendee, 2013).” And because I’m cheeky at 7pm on a Friday, I ended my letter with, “Let’s free ourselves from unnecessary worries and make North Carolina great again!”

So yeah, if you’re ever grading my assignments, be prepared for the link to an -ism, health equity, and/or social justice… all depending on how much energy I have in writing the assignment. 🤷🏾‍♀️ They don’t call me a good troublemaker for nothing.

Like I said, I’m happy that the term is coming to an end. Although, I am registered for three summer classes. AGAIN. 🤬 But I keep telling myself, I did this to myself, and it’s all for a good reason. I’ll tell you more about those courses in June. No rest for the wicked. 🥱

What Are You Doing For Fun?

Buying all the plants. Like really, all the plants. 🌿 My house is filled with 15 plants all named after amazing Black women, and I’m obsessed. Remember when I said I hoped April would bring me more plants? Well it did. And the coolest thing - I let my IG followers name them. In two polls, my followers decided that my two newest plant children should be named Josephine and Etta.

Meet Josephine

A photo of Josephine. One of many plants living in Jasmine’s home.

Josephine is a Stromanthe ‘triostar’ named after Josephine Baker. World renowned performer, World War II spy, and activist are few of the titles used to describe Josephine Baker. One of the most successful African American performers in French history, Baker’s career illustrates the ways entertainers can use their platforms to change the world. (More about Josephine Baker)

Meet Etta

A photo of Etta. Another of the many plants living in Jasmine’s home.

Etta is a Philodendron ‘heart leaf’ named after Etta James. Etta James had one of the greatest voices of her century. Forever the matriarch of the blues, she has been immortalized by such hits as “At Last,” “Tell Mama” and “Sunday Kind of Love.” (More about Etta James)

My other babies are many and there are still a few that I have on my vision board to bring home to be with their sisters. If you’re interested in the names of my other plant babies, you can find an old IG reel here. A few are even missing from this reel, like Della and Anarcha, but you’ll get the gist.

Wait, What’s Next?

Are you listening to Health Equity Mondays? If the answer is no — why not?! 🤷🏾‍♀️ If the answer is yes — have you shared a comment or future topic idea, here?! Last month, Omari and I interviewed my acupuncturist, Dr. Safiya McCarter. She was an absolute space-taker and talked to us about naturopathic medicine, acupuncture, and dropped some gems about the Black Panther Party. You can find our podcast by searching “Health Equity Mondays” on all podcast platforms. Not into podcasts? Don’t worry. You can watch us on YouTube!

Make sure you check out another new feature below. I have a referral program! Have you always wanted free merch? Now’s your chance. The more you share my newsletter, the more I’ll reward you with stickers, mugs, and clothes! 🫶🏾

I’ll be back in your inboxes in June. If you miss me - you know how to get more of me.

Until next time, always remember to take up as much space as you need.

Girl, What’s Been Going On?

We are officially in the 2nd quarter of the year! 😱 March may have ended, but I’m taking the main character energy I invoked over the past month with me for the rest of the year.

I’ve never been someone big on the idea of spring cleaning, but there’s something about this year that feels like I need to embrace it. I’m going to let y’all in on one of my dirty little secrets… when my depression gets bad, you can tell in the cleanliness of my apartment. It’s something that is common for people who live with depression, but I’m pretty sure no one really likes to talk about it. Now that I think back on it, it’s probably why growing up my house wasn’t the cleanest, as both of my parents lived with depression. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I lived in a pigsty... it’s just the idea of deep cleaning was more centered around company and not our everyday lives. For me, the same applies… I can indirectly track my mood by the unwashed clothes on the floor, the pile of shoes by the door, and boxes that need to be opened from late night Amazon purchases.

So in this new month, I’ve made a promise to myself that I would embrace the days I have motivation and tell my spirit it’s time to clean up. I started a new medication cocktail and I’m hoping that it means I have more good days ahead of me to find the strength to spring clean not only my home, but also my mind and spirit.

Gif of Snoopy from Peanuts doing spring cleaning.

Another aspect of spring cleaning for me will be to do a check-in on my 2023 goals and vision board. Do you remember my January 2023 issue where I outlined how I chose my 2023 word and created my goals and vision board? Well, it’s time to discuss what I’m planning to do for my quarterly check-in.

Step 1. Check Your Vision Board. If you’ve had it in plain sight all this time like I suggested, you’re hopefully used to seeing the images and thinking about the things you wanted to manifest in your life. Now is the time to congratulate yourself for the items that you’ve accomplished. If you created a virtual vision board, put a congratulatory emoji (🎊🎉🥳) on the pictures, words, manifestations you reached in Q1. If you created a physical vision board, time to get those stickers out and celebrate your Q1!

Step 2. Check-in With Your Word. Time to ask yourself if you’ve been truly embracing your word of the year?

• If you haven’t - why not? What’s holding you back from embracing your word? Did you choose the wrong word, or are you afraid of setting the boundaries or taking the adventures that might be required for your word to be true?

• If you have - how? What have you done to embrace your word? Do you want to do even more next quarter?

Step 3. Follow-Up On Your Goals. Remember those goals you wrote up in January? Time to check off what’s been accomplished, adjust what might no longer be realistic, and write down any new goals that have come to mind. Are there any goals that no longer make sense? If so, let it go. No need to hold on to what no longer serves you.

Step 4. CELEBRATE! This is for everyone. CELEBRATE that you made it through the first quarter of 2023 (and weren’t indicted… 😏). Even if you feel like you didn’t accomplish enough or anything at all, CELEBRATE. We deserve to CELEBRATE every day, every minute, every chance we get. So whether you decide to do something big or small, celebrate that you’re still making it. And just so you know, I’m proud of you! Life is not easy and I need you to know that there is someone on this side of the world rooting for you! 💐

New web feature: Comment and let me know how you plan to celebrate surviving the first quarter of 2023. FYI: You have to be logged into leave a comment.

If you’re interested in learning how I plan to celebrate all that I achieved in Q1, check out a free trial of the HEJ Inner Circle. I’ll be discussing some upcoming travel plans and a part 2 of my motherhood journey in the next couple of drops.

How’s School?!

Can you believe it’s already term 4?! How am I almost a 2nd year DrPH student? 🤯 If you’re new here, I invite you to go back to previous issues and catch up on my experience thus far. A full year recap of my courses will be the focus of my June issue. Stay tuned!

Alright, since I last checked in, I finished and received my grades for my term 3 classes. Quick reminder, I took the following classes:

1. Adolescent Health & Development

2. Children In Crisis: An Asset-Based Approach to Working with Vulnerable Youth

3. Prevention in Mental Disorders: Public Health Interventions

Favorite class - Children in Crisis: An Asset-Based Approach to Working with Vulnerable Youth. Probably because it was taught by Dr. Terri Powell, who is amazing! I’m plotting on asking her to be my advisor or at least on my dissertation committee, but she just doesn’t know it yet. 🤫 Last month we discussed how hard it was for me to get past the emotional block of writing about youth suicide. This month, we’re going to discuss my new classes and how I’m already planning to make some… good trouble.

Gif of John Lewis and his famous quote, “Never, ever be afraid to make some noise and get in good trouble, necessary trouble.”

Term 4

First, I clearly have issues and decided to take three classes again. 🤦🏾‍♀️ Here they are:

1. Social Context of Adolescent Health & Development

2. The One Health Approach to Epidemiology and Global Public Health: Problem Solving Seminar

3. Designing a Strategic Plan

I’ll note that I did make a change to my classes on Friday. Originally I was registered for the Crafting Effective Solutions for Gun Violence: Problem Solving Seminar, but after the latest mass shooting, I just couldn’t bring myself to be in that emotional mindset for another 8 weeks. I’m hoping that learning about One Health will be a bit more uplifting and hopeful. If you haven’t heard about one health, you should check out the February episode of Health Equity Mondays. Omari discusses one health and its relation to the East Palestine train derailment.

Okay, so here’s why I’m feeling like I’m about to make some good trouble… the strategic plan course. I’ll be transparent that this is a brand new course. A brand new 1-credit course. It is supposed to help us be better prepared in leadership positions and reach some of the competencies set forth by the accreditation board. I had high hopes going into the course, but they were quickly crushed during our first class.

The two people facilitating our course are a retired and current healthcare consultant for one of the large consulting firms in the country. Together they have about 40 years of consulting experience under their belt, but that’s where the problem lies… healthcare is not interchangeable with public health. While this first class was just an introduction and overview of the syllabus, it was very clear that the focus of this class will be healthcare administration and hospital systems. Many of my classmates, myself included, are not in places to be making strategic plans or policies for these types of systems, and frankly, most of us (myself included) aren’t interested in being administrators. So why would a mandatory class for only DrPH students be provided with a healthcare lens and not public health? Your guess is as good as mine.

Because I don’t know how to keep my mouth shut, I did ask the presenters if we would actually be taking a public health approach to strategic planning this term, and the response left much to be desired. The male presenter stated, “Yes, of course we’ll be discussing how public health integrates into the strategic plan. The first thing that many hospital systems do before designing a plan is complete a community health needs assessment. And we’ll discuss that in detail.”

Gif of Madea shaking her head.

Who thought it would be a good idea for DrPH students to learn from people with no public health experience? And I’m not saying that there isn’t value in learning about healthcare, but when it is built on individuality (the antithesis to PUBLIC health) and only 20% of the overall health inequity equation - it should never be the sole focus of a public health course.

I’ll let y’all know how this pans out because I’m sure I’ll have more to say and more trouble to make. Course evaluations are sure going to be interesting. 🤷🏾‍♀️

What Are You Doing For Fun?

I’m not sure if I shared here before, but one of my vision board items was a photo of the Kennedy Center, to symbolize that I wanted to prioritize something that brings me joy. From a young age, I always loved going to plays, musicals, concerts, etc. with my family. My parents would take me to plays in DC, and afterwards we would spend hours discussing the themes, our favorite characters, the songs, the feelings, all of it. I’ve slowly been working on reclaiming that experience, and this year I’m so damn proud to say that I’ve been to the Kennedy Center twice this year, with many more plans to enjoy theatre and concerts in 2023.

My most recent visit to the Kennedy Center was a solo date to see the opera, Blue. It was my first opera! And I’m ecstatic to say it was a Black opera! It was actually supposed to premiere in 2020, but… well ya know… Rona. Despite not making it beyond dress rehearsals, it was designated the Best New Opera of 2020. And while it was my first opera, I’m pretty sure I know why it received that honor.

I’m still working on a video recap of my experience, but in case you can’t wait, check out this Washington Post article.

A photo of the “Blue” program and my red Cise purse that reads, “Protect Black People.”

If you’re following me on IG, look out for my recap in the next couple of weeks. Depending on how I’m feeling, it might also be a future TikTok. When you see it, please like, comment, and share. ✊🏾

Wait, What’s Next?

Are you listening to Health Equity Mondays? If the answer is no — why not?! 🤷🏾‍♀️ If the answer is yes — have you shared a comment or future topic idea, here?! Last month, Omari and I discussed deaths of despair, the Trevor Project, and plant health equity. You can find our podcast by searching “Health Equity Mondays” on all podcast platforms. Not into podcasts? Don’t worry. You can watch us on YouTube!

Okay, I’m off my soapbox.

Let me leave you with this - it’s finally spring! Which for me means brighter days are near. I am recommitting to myself in many ways this next month and I’m excited to see how April showers me with new opportunities, more solo dates, and much needed sunshine. (corny, I know). And honestly, I would love for April to bring me some more plants for my collection of beautiful plants named after amazing Black women. A girl can wish. 🙂 

Make sure you check out another new feature below. I have a referral program! Have you always wanted free merch? Now’s your chance. The more you share my newsletter, the more I’ll reward you with stickers, mugs, and clothes! 🫶🏾

I’ll be back in your inboxes in May. If you miss me - you know how to get more of me.

Until next time, always remember to take up as much space as you need.

⚠️ Content Warning: I’m discussing youth suicide. If you are not in the right mindset, please skip the “How’s School?!” section.

Girl, What’s Been Going On?

HAPPY BLACK WOMEN’S HISTORY MONTH! Where is this year going? We’re already in March?! (Although y’all know March is my favorite month 😉!)

When I reflected on this past month since I slid into your inboxes, I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Like the way y’all have shown up for me since I started this year is humbling and heartwarming. As I stepped into this idea of a year of radical self-love and choosing “worthy” as my word of the year, I had no idea how much it would open me up to not only love myself, but also to allow my people to love on me. From the surprise gifts, lunches, and even flowers, I have been all smiles in the past month. 🥰

I’ve also been feeling grateful for something that may seem very small to those of you who have always had 20/20 vision — I can now see in the shower without glasses! 😬 If you didn’t know, I had corrective eye surgery in February. After a lot of research and going back and forth in my mind on if it was worth it, I decided to have SMILE surgery. (Similar to LASIK, but they don’t create a flap in your eye which can later cause severe dry-eye.) I could probably write an entire issue about the research I did, the consultation I had, and how my recovery has gone. And although I’m still in my recovery phase, I already know it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made for myself. Like waking up and being able to see — priceless. Knowing that I’ll be able to swim easier — priceless. Being able to wear ALL of the cute glasses without worry of my prescription not fitting — expensive 🤑, but worth it! At some point after my two-month follow-up I’ll try to detail more of my experience, but for now, if you’re interested in knowing more, just let me know.

Gif of Shrek’s Three Blind Mice singing, “We can see clearly now. The rain has gone.”

Another reason for my feelings of gratitude… being absolutely committed to my growth, self-love, and healing. Thanks to my bestie (even if she doesn’t know it yet), Dr. Ashley Hickson, I went into March being completely aware of my energy, boundaries, and healing process after reading The Sugar Jar. When I tell y’all this book snatched my edges and read me for filth - phew. But it was in all the best ways. With every chapter I felt like I was being seen, filled up, and made better. It was the perfect book to read before my birthday. Healing isn’t easy, but when you have tools like this book, it feels less daunting. I highly recommend it to y’all!

The bursting gratitude has extended its way to the plans for my ovaries. If you’re interested in learning more about my evolving plan for motherhood, check out a free trial of the HEJ Inner Circle. I’ll be discussing my recent visit to a fertility clinic and what my ideal timeline may be for becoming a Mommy in the next drop.

How’s School?!

Y’all - this has been an emotionally draining term for me. Not because of my own mental health, but because all of my classes are centered around aspects of mental health, adolescents, and potential interventions. As a reminder, I decided to make my life hard and am taking three courses. And remember when I said I wouldn’t do it again? Welp. That changed tonight when I signed up for one additional class for term 4. 🤦🏾‍♀️ It’s one credit, which should make it really manageable, but yeah — clearly I’m a glutton for punishment.

Okay, back to this term. Class list reminder -

1. Adolescent Health & Development

2. Children In Crisis: An Asset-Based Approach to Working with Vulnerable Youth

3. Prevention in Mental Disorders: Public Health Interventions

I went into this term thinking I would really excel because mental health and adolescent health are my jams. I could talk about both all day. But when you decide to write about Black youth suicide for two classes, it gets pretty damn depressing quick. The struggle with compartmentalization I’ve been feeling isn’t new to me, but I think still being so fresh in my own mental health journey and knowing that suicidal ideation was present for me not too long ago — my body mentally and physically feels uncomfortable and stuck when it comes to reading and writing this term. There’s probably a layer of the burgeoning Mommy in me that also doesn’t like to write about Black youth suicide. Y’all it’s a lot.

Gif of Get Out’s Georgina shaking her head and repeatedly saying “no”

What’s the data look like?

Prepare yourself. None of it’s good.

In 2019 and 2020, overall rates of suicide declined after a steady increase from 2000-2018, but recent data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows rates of suicide rose in 2021 surpassing the 2018 rate peak. When data are disaggregated by race, ethnicity, and age, it shows that the rates of suicide have steadily increased for Black adolescents ages 10-24 years old, meaning their rates were not part of the national decline in 2019 and 2020.

In 2021, approximately 11 per 100,000 adolescents 10-24 years old died by suicide, surpassing the 2018 peak of 10.7 per 100,000. Between 2018-2021 there was a relative percent change of 2.8 for adolescents 10-24 years old in the United States, which is greatly accounted for by the disproportionate percent changes in racial and ethnic minoritized communities. Black adolescents 10-24 years old experienced the highest suicide rate percent change of 36.6, while white adolescents 10-24 years old experienced a relative decline in suicide rates of -3.9.

Data from the 2019 Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS) administered to students 14-18 years old showed that 18.8% reported suicidal ideation and 8.9% had at least one suicide attempt in the past 12 months. Specific to Black students 14-18 years old, there is a significant disparity in the attempted suicide rate when compared with white and Hispanic students. Overall 11.8% of Black students have attempted suicide compared to 7.9% and 8.9% for white and Hispanic students, respectively. Further disparity can be found looking at Black female students for which 15.2% have attempted suicide compared to 9.4% and 11.9% for white and Hispanic female students, respectively.

Does this help you understand why I’ve been experiencing discomfort this term? It’s been so bad, that I’m wondering how in the hell am I going to write my dissertation? While I don’t anticipate writing about youth suicide, I know that whatever I write about will likely cause younger versions of me to be on edge and need their own healing. I know my best work comes from working and researching what I’m passionate about, but it is also what causes me to need days and sometimes week of introversion to reset and find my strength again. Thank goodness we have spring break after this term! I need it more than you know. Two more weeks. Send me well wishes!

What Are You Doing For Fun?

When is the last time you went to a spa? I don’t know if it can be considered “fun,” but I went to one last week for my birthday and it felt like a life changing experience. I felt so soft, so vulnerable, and so in tune with my body. In fact, I was so zen and calm that I spoke to my ovaries and named my future babies. 😳 Say what now?! Yeah, your girl was in the zone!

A photo from a recent Instagram post. The post is a photo of Jasmine wearing a spa robe with the words, “Space-Taker Spa Day!” on an orange background.

If you’re following me on IG, you know I decided to look at the health equity behind my spa visit. I won’t revisit the entire post here, but just know HEJ can find the tie-in to health equity in all things. Check out the post and share it, if you haven’t yet. ✊🏾

Wait, What’s Next?

Since I plan to celebrate my birthday all month, this is the last time I’m sharing my Amazon wishlist. As I wrote earlier, I am so grateful for all of the love y’all have already shown. If you feel moved to buy anything, please know it means the world to me. Truly. ♥️

Have you been listening to Health Equity Mondays? If the answer is no — why not?! 🤷🏾‍♀️ In the month of February, Omari and I discussed the East Palestine train derailment and the state of Black maternal health. If you’re listening to a lot of podcasts all the time and feel like you can’t add one more… this one is monthly (unless y’all ask us for more 😉). You can find our episodes by searching “Health Equity Mondays” on all podcast platforms. Not into podcasts? Don’t worry. You can watch us on YouTube! If you’re listening and have comments and/or future topic ideas, let us know by answering a few questions, here. Who knows, you might even hear your name on the show!

I’ll be back in your inboxes in April. If you miss me - you know how to get more of me.

Until next time, always remember to take up as much space as you need.

⚠️Content Warning: I’m talking about resilience, which can be uncomfortable for some people. If you do not have the capacity right now, skip the “How’s School?” section.

⌛️Length Warning: I’ve realized almost every newsletter has contained this warning. I’m not going to hold y’all… I’m longwinded. So from now on, I’ll just say take your time reading anything from me. I’ll be more judicious in using the length warning for times when it feels like it would take longer to read than any of my other newsletters.

Girl, What's Been Going On?!

HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH! Have you checked out the Black History Month items at the Health Equity Jazz shop?! There’s still time for these limited edition items!

It’s wild to think we’re already in February. Is it just me or did January come in, stay for a second, and then pick up her purse and go to her next event? 🤷🏾‍♀️ As I thought about what to share from over the past month, it felt like the most fitting item to share is that I am feeling a lot better with my mental health. My depression and anxiety are in a much more manageable place, and the bad days are fewer and less intense. It seems like I’ve found a good mix with the medication, talk therapy, light therapy, acupuncture, slow morning routines, and radical self love. As I intimately know the mental health journey is not linear, and tomorrow may take me for a spin, it feels so damn good to know that I’m nearing the light on the upside of this journey.

Last month, I listened to Marissa McKool’s podcast about consistency, and it really made me think… hard. For context the title or the episode is “Consistency is Overrated,” so you can imagine the position she takes. As she explained her thoughts on the idea of consistency and the personal attack we put on ourselves for not accomplishing goals in our self-imposed timeline, it really made me think about how hard I am on myself and how negatively I talk to myself when I feel like I’m not fitting my mental picture of consistency. And to be clear, this negative self-talk spans across all facets of my life, not just school and work - I’m an equal opportunity jerk to myself over a completely subjective characteristic. As Marissa reminds us, consistency can mean something very different from one person to another, but yet we all seem give it power in our perceptions of how reliable/trustworthy/good a person may be. How Sway?

I may paint a picture of being flexible with myself and extending myself grace, but honestly as a recovering perfectionist, this is all new to me. (Remember when I shared how my therapist broke me when she tapped into the why behind my perfectionism? — see issue #3 for context.) It has taken a lot of reflection, affirmation journaling, and practicing positive self-talk to get me to this place. While it may be fairly new to allow myself to show up how and when I can, I do know there’s a freedom I have never felt before in allowing myself to be superhuman. Part of embracing my humanity is my slow morning routine. It makes me stop, be present, and listen to my body. There can be 1,000 things on the other side of that routine, but for that sacred period of time, none of it matters. It’s just me and my needs (and well, Jase and Ginger because y’all know they not letting me have a full routine that doesn’t include them).

If you’d like to learn all the ins and outs of my slow morning routine, check out a free trial of the HEJ Inner Circle. I’ll be describing my routine and the impact it has had on me in the next Friday drop.

How's School?!

Yep - school is back in session. That month went by so fast! I know this is why most of you are here, so let’s dive in.

As a recap, I am taking THREE classes this term. (This will be the last time I do this - 🤞🏾!) Remember how I said I’m extending myself grace now… well that means allowing myself to take one class P/F, while we’re still allowed to do so. (JHU doesn’t typically allow courses to be taken P/F, but due to the pandemic they’ve extended the option for this school year. Students are advocating for the policy to become permanent, but who knows if that will happen.)

My three courses this term are:

1. Adolescent Health and Development

2. Children in Crisis: An Asset-Based Approach to Working with Vulnerable Youth (in-person)

3. Prevention of Mental Disorders: Public Health Interventions

Before I dive into the nitty-gritty, I have to share something that was said in my in-person class during the first week. We were discussing the idea of a single story and as a student was commenting, she said, “in older movies… you know like from the 90s…” 😫 Y’all I felt so attacked and so old at the same time. Like she must’ve meant the 1890s… right? Cause she can’t be talking about my childhood movies as older… right? The disrespect. Let me collect myself.

A gif of an older Black woman with grey hair giving a side-eye.

Okay, I’m back… We’ve been in class for two weeks and I’m already causing trouble. 🤷🏾‍♀️ And not bad trouble, but you know me - good trouble. If you are familiar with adolescent health and vulnerable youth, you know there cannot be a course that doesn’t explore the concept of resilience within those populations. For those who are unfamiliar, let me share an article you can read on the concept and break it down in two sentences for you: Resilience is the conceptual theory that when faced with trauma, stress, or obstacles, some people have the ability to positively overcome those experiences. It is not a personality trait, thus, everyone has the capacity to be resilient when faced with stressful situations if equipped with the right tools or assets. It sounds great, right? So why did I cause good trouble this past week when discussing it? 🤔

Because I’m over the concept of resilience….

Now, you’re probably clutching your collective pearls and saying, “but HEJ - you’re an adolescent focused health equitist, how can you not love the idea of resilience?” I won’t go into the weeds on the reason I am no longer a fan girl for resilience research because it very well might end up being my dissertation topic, but I’ll recap some of what I shared in both of my courses, Adolescent Health and Development and Children in Crisis.

I have been in the field of resilience research for about a decade now and it has not evolved in practice from putting the onus on the individual to become resilient to their environment. As we discuss upstream factors and the social/political/structural determinants of health, how can we in public health continue to tout that the best you can do is learn to deal with your potentially negative environment? It’s nonsensical at this point.

In many ways the idea of resilience has become akin to the trope of the strong Black woman — It strips youth of their humanity and allows those with a savior complex to say, “I did a good job. I gave them the tools to be resilient,” without addressing why they need to be resilient in the first place. Yes, there are emerging theories and frameworks that include a community level approach to resilience, but if everyone in the community is under the same constraints, we’re not getting any closer to the root of the problems. Now to be clear, I think people living in stressful situations do need to be equipped with the tools to survive and thrive in their environments, but it should be done in conjunction with programs that identify and ameliorate upstream factors and determinants. And lastly before I get off my soapbox, the field of resilience research is far too white. Many of the programs, capacity building tools, and assessments were developed by white researchers and validated on white youth. Structural, cultural, and linguistic competency anyone?

A gif from the show Insecure of Issa and Molly giving a side-eye and then Issa turns to Molly for confirmation.

So yeah - HEJ is still alive and present as a space-taker in every room I am in. And I do think my professors appreciated my perspective and willingness to express a dissenting opinion. It makes for good discussion, right?

What Are You Doing For Fun?

Hm. I had to think about this. Not because I haven’t been having fun, but because I wondered what’s newsletter worthy? I think it would have to be attending the Harry Potter Forbidden Forest Experience. (And yeah, I was conflicted because of the way the author has tainted the series with her terf comments, but Harry Potter was something I enjoyed with my Mommy. So this is one of the very few times I will separate the author/artist from the work — she is not synonymous with Harry Potter for me.)

A photo of the iconic Harry Potter stag on top of a boulder with the words, “Wizarding World Harry Potter A Forbidden Forest Experience” highlighted.

It was a very cool experience to walk through the dark woods and see scenes from the movie and have the chance to let your inner child be free. It was also nice to have spiked cider walking around to warm up. 😉

Wait, What's Next?

When I slide into your inboxes next month, I’ll be a year older. And I know there are a lot of women who fear getting older, but if there’s one thing I will not be upset about… it’s getting to live more of this life with all of you. So I look forward to coming back next month with the wisdom of someone who has completed another rotation around the sun, or something like that. If you’re into gift giving, or looking for gift ideas for yourself, check out my Amazon wishlist. FYI: My birthday is March 1. 🥳

If you want to hear from me more often, don’t forget about the option to become part of the HEJ Inner Circle. For $8 per month, or $88 per year, you’ll have access to a more frequent newsletter that will be more centered around the Jasmine behind Health Equity Jazz. Recent newsletters have discussed why MLK day is hard for me, the concept of home, and the upcoming discussion of my slow morning routine. If you want to upgrade to the premium subscription for free, I’m running a 60-day free trial through February 14. Additional questions? Email me!

Don’t forget to listen to Health Equity Mondays later this month! Are you asking what is Health Equity Mondays? It’s my new monthly podcast with The Public Health Millennial, where we share our insights and understanding of public health and health equity. You can find our first episode (Apple podcast) and all new episodes by searching “Public Health Careers” on all other podcast platforms & YouTube! If you’ve already listened, let us know your thoughts and future topic ideas by answering a few questions, here.

Until next time, always remember to take up as much space as you need.

I’ve been thinking about my Daddy a lot in the last week, which makes sense because the anniversary of his death is coming up. How do you make sense of your hero dying on a national holiday? I haven’t figured it out. I am thankful that it’s a day off from work where I can allow my body to grieve in which ever way it needs to, but then most years I’m left with two days of sadness. MLK Day and the actual date as it moves through the calendar. Like all things, of course the actual date changes year after year, but the feeling that hangs over MLK day never does. My Daddy died on January 19, 2004, which in that year happened to be the third Monday in January, also known as MLK Day.

I remember the day like it was yesterday. My Daddy had been getting over the flu, so when my Mommy decided to take me and Plank (my best friend) to Fredericksburg to visit family, he decided to stay home. He said that he would see us when we got home. Ever the jokester, he said something funny as we were leaving from upstairs, and he was nestling back into bed. I hugged him and told him I loved him. (After his death I couldn’t remember the last words I said to him. I worried that it had been something stupid like “shut up” or the often said “you’re silly.” It was my Mommy who reminded me that an “I love you,” was the words I exchanged with my giant teddy bear of a father.)

We went to Fredericksburg and spent time with my family as we often did back then and at lunch my aunt kept staring at the window and looking at the birds. Now if you know anything about Black families, you know that we are all connected to the ancestors and spirits in some ways. There’s always someone amongst us who knows what’s happening. That day, it was my aunt. She would later tell us that she knew something bad was happening, but didn’t want to scare anyone.

The thing is, she didn’t have to tell me, because my body was also telling me something was wrong. At lunch (Olive Garden to be exact - and which I’ve never gone back to since that day), I became ill with a migraine. This wasn’t my first migraine, but it was one that came out of nowhere and made me nauseous. I couldn’t finish my food. I felt like I was in a haze. And if you get migraines, you know once they hit, there’s not much you can do, but ride the wave. For about two hours I felt like I was having an out of body experience. It hurt to move. After leaving the restaurant we slowly walked around, hoping to distract my brain from the pain. Eventually, I began to normalize some, but kept my migraine hangover… not knowing it was my empath spirit letting me know half of my heart was no longer among the living.

After dropping off Plank, I remember the growing concern my Mommy and I had around not talking to my Daddy all day. We called his cell and the house number a few times, but he didn’t answer. We thought he might’ve been sleep, but even when sick, it wasn’t like him to sleep all day. He was a man of routine. As we drove past the 7-11 down the street from our subdivision, my Mommy got the call from my cousin that changed my life forever. I saw her body go rigid, her foot hit the accelerator, and the words come out of her mouth, “What do you mean? Is he breathing? Did you call 911?”

My Daddy, my gentle giant, died of a massive coronary in the bathroom he shared with my Mommy. As I learned, it’s not uncommon for people to think they have to use the bathroom when they’re having a heart attack. As his heart stopped pumping, he hit his head on the towel rack in the bathroom and died alone, not to be found until my cousin went to check on him because he too was worried that he hadn’t come downstairs at all that day.

As we pulled into our driveway, the ambulance and police were there and from that point through most of the night all I can remember is seeing red. Through tears and phone calls and hugs and walking outside in the dark winter air, my feelings oscillated between utter devastation and blood boiling anger. I was angry that the police have to come when someone dies in their home and isn’t found immediately. I was angry that because rigor mortis had set in, they had to break my Daddy’s bones to bring him downstairs and no matter how loud the music played to drown out the sound, I knew what they were doing. I was angry that I had spent his last day on this Earth not with him. I was angry that he died alone. I was angry that he died of a heart attack leaving me and my Mommy far too early. I was angry that he had just been at the doctor and they didn’t know something was wrong. I was angry that he hadn’t lost weight like the doctors told him to. I was angry that I couldn’t remember what I said to him. I was angry that I wanted nothing more than to hug him one more time. I was angry that somehow I hadn’t saved him. I was angry at him, myself, the world, God. That anger would stay with me for years and evolve into poor decision making and a proclivity to live as if nothing even mattered. But those are stories for other days.

I share my memories of this pivotal day in my life to help my brain remember the gravity of losing my protector, my historian, my best friend, my Daddy. As days and years pass, it becomes harder to remember the fine details, but the feelings remain. I have a big Daddy-sized hole in my heart that I’ve had to grow around. I’ve had to navigate more time on this Earth without him than I had with him. And that is the biggest mindfuck of it all. At the end of this, my Daddy will be one of the most influential people in my life, despite only getting to be in the first 16 years of it. Our Daddy-Daughter love has spanned the decades because I am resolute in keeping his memory alive. There may not be many who remember him, but if anyone ever asks, I am ready with stories and honesty and a little bit of silliness. He was the first storyteller of the Black experience I ever knew and the reason I am here sharing my story, our story, and the story of my people.

My Daddy died on MLK day when I was 16 and for the past 19 years I have grappled with remembering my Black history hero when the world is honoring another. I miss him. Always.

⌛️Length Warning: Take your time reading this one.

Girl, What's Been Going On?!

Happy New Year! 🎊

We made it to 2023. Three years in a pandemic, but we made it! I don’t know if I’m just tired of being anxious and depressed, if the Prozac is finally working, or if it was the two weeks off from work and school, (or maybe the combo of all of that), but y’all I am *cautiously* excited for 2023. Of course the public health and health equity part of my brain is very aware that 2023 is likely to show its ass in all the pandemic, racism, white supremacy ways the last few years have, but I think the fighter part of my brain is like bring it - I’m ready. (I’ll add that 2023 is already off to a banner start with the absolute comedy show of the Speaker of The House voting… whew… this is going to be a political year for the books… again 🙄)

In my last newsletter, I promised that I would share some of the goals I have for 2023. Sticking true to my word, I am going to share a bit about my goal choosing process. To be clear, these are not resolutions - these are goals and manifestations that I am speaking into the universe. When you’ve been through the wringer a few times with life like I have, you learn to accept that energy, manifestation, and divine intervention are all real. We may call it different things, or try to ignore it, but it’s there. Below I’m going to outline my process this year, in the order that it happened. If you’re still planning for 2023, please don’t feel obliged to follow my steps. Do what feels good for you.

Step 1. Create the Vision Board: In a previous therapy relationship, one of my sessions was to create a vision board for the year. As I decided what pictures and words to cut out, I had to explain to her why I was choosing the item, how it made me feel, and what my hope or goal was around it. That was probably the second time I created a vision board in that manner. (The first was back in middle/high school with my best friend Gena — and it was a vision for my life… whew the vision has definitely changed. My [childhood] dream car hasn’t though 👀) After creating the vision board with my therapist, I noticed that I started to see the images and numbers and feelings in my life in small and big ways. It felt like I had cultivated the year that I wanted and needed. Did everything I envisioned happen? Of course not, but having a constant visual reminder of what I dreamed of helped ground my everyday actions and decisions.

After that positive experience with my vision board, I decided to try to recreate the magic this year. During the last week of the year I used the FreeForm app to create a vision board that encompasses what I want for my career, finances, school, and personal life. I’m completely biased, but my 2023 vision board is gorgeous, calming, and affirming. It brings me joy… and in the process of creating it, my word for 2023 found me.

A photo of a classic lime green Volkswagen Bug car, my childhood dream car 😍.

Step 2. Choose a Word: I’ll be honest, I wasn’t going to choose a word for the year. 2020 scarred me. 😩 But like I said, my word for 2023 found me and whispered to me that I needed to accept it, and so I did. If you’re an Instagram or LinkedIn follower, you already know that my word for the year is worthy. Six letters that together carry the weight of the world, especially for Black women. I’m still processing my word choice, but you know it’s the right word when it causes you pause and some discomfort.

Step 3. Write the Goals: On January 1, I wrote out my business goals for HEJ. I wrote manifestations and specific goals and metrics. My manifestations were written as what will happen in 2023 for HEJ. For example, “I will hire a part-time virtual assistant.” My specific goals were around my follower counts, content creation, partnership, product offerings, and profit. I hope to come back to these goals on a quarterly basis to see how I’m doing. I didn’t do that in 2022, and even though I accomplished a lot in 2022, I wasn’t strategic enough to hit some of the goals I set because I honestly forgot about them.

Where I likely differ from some other people… I did not feel the need to write out my personal goals because my vision board was created with careful intent. Looking at each photo, I know the goal behind it, the desire behind it, and I can see it with clarity. I wholeheartedly believe some things are better said without words (and y’all know I love words 😉).

Step 4. Put It Where You Can See It: This is the most important step. Make sure you can see your vision everyday. Put it on your wall, make it your Lock Screen, put it on your refrigerator, blow it up and put it in your office - make sure you can see it everyday! Our brains need to be reminded of what we’re trying to accomplish to keep you on track. If you make your vision board and never see it again until the end of the year, you’re not capitalizing on the magic of the universe.

So, this was my process over the last couple of weeks. If you haven’t gotten around to do your goals yet or have never thought about setting goals at the start of the year, I hope you found this helpful. If you want to share your goals or word for the year, I’d love to help you manifest this year. ✨

How's School?!

School is on a break! Phew. Do you know how good it feels to say that? I am soaking up every second of not having to balance my mental health, school, work, and personal life. The balance act is not easy, but I know it’s on a countdown, and with every term I’m getting closer to the finish line.

When the third term starts I will be taking three courses (one in person). I am very excited for these courses as two of the courses will be led by Black women and they’re all related to what I want to explore in my research. Starting January 23, my classes will be:

1. Adolescent Health and Development

2. Children in Crisis: An Asset-Based Approach to Working with Vulnerable Youth

3. Prevention of Mental Disorders: Public Health Interventions

What Are You Doing For Fun?

I’m planning all the trips. 😳

Y’all this is scary and fun for me at the same time. The pandemic mind in me is still saying this isn’t the right time to travel, but the part of me that likes embracing the uncomfortable is saying GO! So I’m planning trips, short and local, long and far. I am planning to be on the move this year, so catch me when you can.

Wait, What's Next?

You know I didn’t spend all this time talking about my goals to not have some stuff already figured out to share with y’all…

Gif of a Black man wearing a red suit and hat rubbing his hands together like Birdman.

Premium Subscriptions: If you were with me on Revue, you know I offered a premium subscription option for people wanting to financially support my work and in return learn a bit more about the personal side of my journey. I’m happy to bring that back with beehiiv! As I have had more time to think through how I want to share my stories, but also keep some things to smaller communities, this feels like the best way. For $8 per month, or $88 per year, you’ll have access to a more frequent newsletter that will be more centered around the Jasmine behind Health Equity Jazz. You’ll get to follow my travel adventures, the ways I embrace my word of the year, and how I start to order my steps to become a single mother by choice. To be clear, I will still be sharing this Becoming Dr. Health Equity Jazz newsletter for free. Over time it will become more focused on school, research planning, and thoughts based on readings, lectures, etc. Of course, I’ll keep everyone updated on my mental health, because that’s a big part of the school journey and deserves to be highlighted in all the places. If you want to upgrade to the premium subscription for free, I’m running a free trial through February 1. Additional questions? Email me!

HEJ Birthday Wishlist: One of the cool things about social media is learning all the different ways in which people celebrate themselves. Over the past year, Munchy has shared her Amazon wishlist for back to school and her birthday. I found myself shocked that it was so easy for her to share a wishlist with the world and claim gifts as they came. I have a hard time with asking for anything and accepting gifts. (Yes, I’m unpacking this in therapy… don’t worry Jen is making me do the work 😓) However, in embracing my 2023 word of the year, I decided to follow in Munchy’s footsteps and allow people to love on me. If you’re into gift giving, or looking for gift ideas for yourself, check out my Amazon wishlist. FYI: My birthday is March 1. 🥳

Support my AFSP Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk: There’s going to be a lot more shared about this over the next few months, but I wanted to let y’all know before everyone else that I have officially registered for the 2023 American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk in Washington, DC. This will be my third overnight walk and I am excited to once again highlight and elevate the conversation around suicide and mental health this year. I have created a team, if anyone is interested in joining me. There is a fundraising requirement, which in the past, I’ve exceeded every time. If you’re interested in learning more, just let me know. My personal page is linked below.

A picture of Eeyore balancing a green apple with a worm coming out on his nose. Next to him is the quote “It never hurts to keep looking for sunshine.”

Help Me Personalize This Community: Over the past couple of weeks, I created a form to learn more about new subscribers. I appreciate those of you who have recently joined and taken the time to answer my intake questions. Since I carried most of you from Revue with me, you have not had the opportunity to fill it out. I hope you take a few moments and answer a few quick questions. It’ll help me plan for future drop dates, the frequency of sliding into your inboxes, and personalize my commentary.

Okay, I threw a lot at y’all. I hope this has been helpful and illuminating. I appreciate each and every one of you! 😘

Until next time, always remember to take up as much space as you need.

⌛️Length Warning: Take your time reading this one.

Girl, What's Been Going On?!

First, thank you all for coming with me on this move to beehiiv. It's really frustrating that the pettiness and childishness of a privileged billionaire is causing so much disruption in the space of social media, subsidiary companies, and just what has become our daily activities. Supposedly he may be stepping down per the poll he created, but honestly the damage is done and I'm not sure if they will be able to come back from it. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Second, I had a planned conversation to discuss some really heavy things, but as I'm listening to the greatest Christmas album ever created - The Temptations "Give Love At Christmas" - there will be no discussion about this, it's fact, and I make the rules here - I decided to keep this light. And the fact that I can keep this light is a testament to the fact that I may be feeling better in a time when I normally feel even worse. 🙏🏾

Recently, Ashlee Wisdom (Founder & CEO of Health In Her Hue) posted to her stories the featured Zora Neale Hurston quote, and shared for her, this was a year of questions. I thanked her for sharing, because I really started to think about my year and whether it was a year that gave me more questions than answers, or vice versa. And because I love y'all, I'm going to share what I came up with.

Coming into 2022, I had a lot of questions. Would I be accepted into either of the schools that I applied to? Am I ready to have children? What will it mean to turn 35 and still not be sure? Am I happy? What will it take for me to be happy? When will I get control again of my life with this pandemic? Am I a good enough friend? Where do I want HEJ to go? What BHAGs do I have for the future? And the list honestly goes on...

Leaving 2022, I have a lot of answers. Really good answers. And because of these answers, I will say that 2022 was a year that answered. I'm going to give you a few of the answers I gained over this year. Here we go---

• If you've been following, you know that I got into both schools I applied to and chose Johns Hopkins University as an Adolescent Health Bloomberg Fellow.

• I am not ready to have children yet, but I am ordering my steps to be a mother in whatever way the universe allows them to come to me. I will be a single mother by choice, and I am happy, calm, settled, and confident in my decision.

• I'm not happy right now, but I am okay with that. As someone who lives with dysthymia, happiness can be elusive, but I'm taking all of the steps to move closer to what feels happy to me. (Honestly, writing this newsletter is part of that. I've always been a writer and pouring into everyone except myself hasn't allowed for me to tap into my creative side. It feels good to use this muscle again.)

• Living with persistent depression and anxiety doesn't make friendship easy. I know this. I have lost friendships in bouts of depression that I really cherished. If you're one of my friends, you know I love hard and protectively. And loss is very hard for me. So I've been working on being a better friend when I have the capacity to be. And more importantly, I've been allowing people to show up for me versus pushing them away. I made my therapist tear up this week when I told her that I was intentionally setting up a calendar to ask people to spend time with me over my break. I'm growing y'all.

• Health Equity Jazz - this little side project that has become one of my proudest accomplishments... the sky is the limit for HEJ. I want to do more podcasts, seek out more collaborations, grow my following, embrace difficult conversations, and make topics of health equity easy and accessible. I'm investing in myself in ways I never thought I would and it feels good.

• I am on the right path for my future - personally and professionally. Public health, health equity, social justice, pediatric and adolescent health... these are my happy space and there is no place I would rather be. This work is where I excel and honestly where I do some of my healing. I have a lot of healing to do, but in this community, in this space, I know that I can do that. I am supported in ways that I never imagined and through tears - I can honestly say that I know my praying parents covered me to be okay in their absence.

• After deciding not to shrink myself anymore in 2020, it has taken a couple of years to understand how pervasive making yourself small can be in many facets of your life. While I have always believed I am a special person, somewhere along the way I allowed myself to become a secondary character in my own life. And I know some of that is a result of grief, being afraid, and finding comfort in not being center stage, but what have I lost over all of these years - me. So in all the small and big ways, I've been finding myself again. Finding little Jasmine as the anxious 5 year old. Finding adolescent Jasmine who always felt out of step. Finding 35 year old Jasmine who wants to make some more core memories and maybe even a little adventure. I deserve the world and I'm leaning into accepting that as fact.

• Big Hairy Audacious Goals - am I allowed to share these and they still come true?

How's School?!

Before I recap 2nd term, I want to share a couple of thoughts and pictures from the Bloomberg American Health Summit.

I am so happy that I didn't let the Mondayest of Mondays prevent me from attending the Bloomberg American Health Summit. It was so affirming to be in a space full of public health professionals who are committed to making this fireball of a world a little bit better. This was shown in the creation of our Declaration of Interdependence. (And no big deal, but your girl was the first person to sign it. An unapologetic Black woman is the first signature of the Declaration of Interdependence - imagine that.)

I spoke earlier of my supports and my community. I think y'all know this about me, but in case you didn't, I'm an only child. And I guess sadly, an orphaned only child now. That's why friendship means so much to me and I will love hard and protectively for the people I allow into my bubble. Making friends and letting people in isn't easy to me for a lot of reasons, but to my surprise, I walked away from the Bloomberg American Health Summit, with the knowledge that I had laid the foundation for what I hope to be great supportive friendships in the future. And honestly, I found my sister in the beautiful, intelligent bad ass Michelle. Our lives have so many parallels that in our first in-person meeting on the train to Philadelphia it felt like we had been in each other's life for years. That's the beauty in friendship that I cherish. So hopefully Michelle doesn't get mad at me for sharing this photo, but yeah - I couldn't recap the summit without sharing that she's stuck with me for life now.

Okay now that the mushy stuff is out of the way, let's talk about 2nd term. The most important thing I will write today - last night I finished my last presentation and officially closed the door on school until January 23. I shared on Instagram that this has been the hardest 8 weeks of my life in recent memory, and that is not hyperbole. I am spent. Exhausted. Tired. Verklempt. All the words. So to have come out on the other side of this term, with what I anticipate to be stellar grades again, feels great. However, it feels amazing to have put myself first and to not take classes during winter institute and to take the full month off. I know it will help me find my footing again and hopefully get this depression back into a more manageable state. So how were classes, you ask? Hmm. I don't want to say that they weren't enjoyable, but when you're in survival mode, there's not much that is enjoyable, right? I'll say this - both classes were foundational classes and in my area of expertise. Y'all know I'm not at the foundational stage of my career. Take from that what you want. 🤷🏾‍♀️

What Are You Doing For Fun?

I can happily answer this question with ease this time! I have been a little busy bee spending time with my loved ones. And the best thing, I don't have any pictures because I've been fully present and consciously choosing to not pick up my phone to document anything. This past weekend I spent time with my Plank and her friends and family at her annual holiday party. It was so much fun eating good food and playing games. I even hosted Family Feud - watch out Steve Harvey, I'm coming for you 😂. Afterwards when I messaged Plank to thank her for the great time, she responded with what was the second update that made my therapist tear up this week - "... you are always a security blanket..." For those who know Plank and know our friendship, you know that she has been the Plank to my Shorty since we were 14 years old. We've had the ups and downs more than once, but at the end of the day are family. This was the first time she shared that she sees me as a security blanket, and y'all I'm honored. I'll be her security blanket any day because she will always be the glue that keeps me together on the hardest days.

Wait, What's Next?

HEJ is officially on vacation until the new year. I will be making some more memories with my chosen family and enjoying a lot of TV. In the new year, I'll let you in on what I decide to be my goals for 2023, my classes for 3rd term, and updates for HEJ merch and all the good things.

I cannot end this long newsletter without thanking you all for helping me grow this year. There are over 60 of you reading this newsletter and I am thankful for each and every one of you. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for letting me know what touched you. Thank you for making space for me in your busy schedules. I wish you rest and happiness as we end this rotation around the sun together. I'll see you in 2023. Happy New Year! ♥️

Until next time, always remember to take up as much space as you need.

Our Community is Moving...

You may not have noticed, but there's a childish billionaire taking down the blue bird app piece by piece. As a result of his machinations, our former home at Revue is closing as of January 18, 2023. 🤬

If you have an anxious mind like mine, any change is scary, even the smallest changes. BUT if you're also like me and have had to learn to pivot on a moment's notice, you learn to quickly adapt and move with the punches. And this is what is happening. Instead of stopping my newsletter all together, I've found a new platform that has more features and allows me to do more customization. 

So welcome to Becoming Dr. Health Equity Jazz on the beehiiv platform. If you're receiving this email, it's because I packed you up in an individual box, and moved you with me. (I hope that's okay - it's spacious in these new digs!) While on my side, this new place looks great, please let me know if you're not enjoying it, and if there is anything I need to do. Of course, if in this transition you realize you don't want to be here, that's okay too. 

That's It...

Okay, that's all I had to say today. I do plan to check in next week for an official issue to let you all in on the behind the scene experience at the Bloomberg Health Summit and share some photos. I'll also recap the end of 2nd term and give you an update on how I'm feeling. 

Until next time, always remember to take up as much space as you need.