Need2Know, by Cheddar

Pentagon approaches automakers to boost weapons production

Matt Davis — Fri, 17 Apr 2026 11:13:53 +0000

Pick a winner in this week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ in today’s poll.

And now, news!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

Pentagon approaches automakers to boost weapons pr …
Is LIV Golf dead?
Inside Zohran Mamdani’s first 100 days
What the heck is up with inflation? Eh?
Inside the next wave of AI robots
Poll of the day: It’s World-Famous-5-7-5™ time

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$F ( ▲ 3.46% ) $GM ( ▲ 4.19% ) $OSK ( ▲ 2.85% ) $UBER ( ▲ 0.84% ) $DASH ( ▲ 2.54% )

Pentagon approaches automakers to boost weapons production

Is America reviving its World War II "Arsenal of Democracy"? It certainly looks that way. With military stockpiles stretched thin by ongoing conflicts in Ukraine and Iran, the Pentagon is calling on Detroit's automotive giants and other major manufacturers to help boost weapons production, the Wall Street Journal reports.

Top defense officials have recently held preliminary, wide-ranging talks with executives like General Motors' $GM ( ▲ 4.19% ) Mary Barra and Ford's $F ( ▲ 3.46% ) Jim Farley, exploring how their factory floors could rapidly pivot to produce munitions, missiles, and counterdrone technology. The goal is to backstop traditional defense contractors and put the nation’s manufacturing on what Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth calls a "wartime footing".

According to a Pentagon official, the Defense Department “is committed to rapidly expanding the defense industrial base by leveraging all available commercial solutions and technologies to ensure our warfighters maintain a decisive advantage”.

Companies like Oshkosh $OSK ( ▲ 2.85% ) are proactively exploring this shift. Logan Jones, Oshkosh’s chief growth officer, shared that discussions center on “where could we bring that capacity in a way that matches our core capability.” He added, “We’ve heard it loud and clear that this is important”.

Is LIV Golf dead?

Long LIV golf? Color absolutely no one surprised. It turns out launching a sports league with bottomless cash in an effort to sports-wash your country’s reputation after some…tricky moments in the international spotlight…isn't a sustainable business model.

Saudi Arabia’s Public Investment Fund is reportedly on the verge of pulling its funding, putting LIV on the brink of imminent closure. Now that the Saudis are back on business terms with the U.S., and President Trump has used the phrase “things happen” to describe the 2018 killing of Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashogi, the pressure is off. Losing $600 million last year with no clear path to profitability started to look like a waste of money in that context.

Won't somebody think of the superstars? What will happen to Phil Mickelson, Bryson DeChambeau, and Jon Rahm, who bravely accepted hundreds of millions of dollars to defect? Right now, over 50 players are awkwardly lingering in Mexico ahead of a tournament, waiting to see if they are suddenly unemployed. It might be slightly uncomfortable crawling back to the PGA Tour after openly badmouthing them and tearing up their contracts. Still, probably not as uncomfortable as being sawed up by a regime you’ve been critical of in the press, eh?

Inside Zohran Mamdani’s first 100 days

New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani spent his first 100 days proving he can hit the ground running. According to New York Times reporter Emma Goldberg, the mayor has focused heavily on "small bore issues" like filling potholes and fixing a bump on the Williamsburg Bridge. His goal is to build New Yorkers' trust on the little things so they let him tackle bigger issues.

While he secured an early win expanding free childcare, Mamdani is facing tension with the progressive base that elected him. Goldberg notes friction over his hesitation to heavily push for taxing the rich, a cornerstone issue for his progressive organizers. Instead, Mamdani has prioritized his relationship with Governor Kathy Hochul and appointed Jesse Tisch as police commissioner, signaling a more scaled-back approach to community safety than initially anticipated.

Goldberg observes that Mamdani has shown he is "willing to be more conciliatory, more pragmatic, and less ideological than some people thought." Ultimately, as Goldberg explains, "every day we're seeing the mayor sort of do a dance, trying to balance his commitments to his base and his need to kind of get things done.”

Watch the interview

Song of the Day: Holly Humberstone, ‘Beauty Pageant’

Holly Humberstone’s "Beauty Pageant" is the closing track of her second studio album, “Cruel World,” and widely regarded as the album's most vulnerable and theatrical moment. We could all use one of those, right?

What the heck is up with inflation? Eh?

If you've checked your grocery receipt or filled up your gas tank recently, you're probably asking: What is going on with prices?

According to Elizabeth “Buy, not” Renter at NerdWallet, "the economy is strong, but there are certainly risks that have risen over the past month with the war in Iran." While inflation was already elevated, the overseas conflict has triggered an "initial oil price shock," driving costs up even further. This shock doesn't just affect the gas pump; as Renter explains, it "bleeds into the rest of the economy," impacting agriculture, manufacturing, and the trucks that deliver our groceries. Because of this shock, consumers will likely feel the sting "for probably months to come.”

Furthermore, categories like shelter, transportation, and healthcare suffer from "sticky inflation," meaning they take a notoriously long time to drop once they’ve gone up.

So, how should everyday shoppers handle this uncertainty, apart, of course, from voting in November (for whichever party you think is best placed to respond to your concerns about inflation)?

First, don't panic. Renter points out that worrying is "not really a productive way to live your life." Instead, she advises focusing on what you can control. She recommends revisiting your household expenses and beefing up your savings, noting that "the more that you can sock away, the more secure you will feel" if the economy takes a downturn.

Evidently she hasn’t tried to book a summer trip to England to see her mother with Alzheimer’s lately. Hypothetically.

Inside the next wave of AI robots

Serve Robotics, an Uber $UBER ( ▲ 0.84% ) spin-off with 2,000 autonomous sidewalk robots, is transforming the future of delivery with its new conversational AI robot, Maggie.

As Serve CEO Ali Kashani explains, "when you bring robots into human environments like sidewalks, it's important for them to really comprehend and communicate.” Unlike controlled factory floors, public spaces require social intelligence. Kashani notes that "the people who are next to a robot may not know anything about robots... so it's really important for the robots to be able to behave in a predictable way.”

To add voice without draining limited power, Serve leverages something called “edge computing.” What does that mean? Well…Kashani stresses that "all the decision making the robot does about moving around, it's inside the robot" to prioritize safety. However, for complex AI tasks like "interpreting language and communicating, it would be ideal if we could do that off the robots on the edge." By utilizing nearby 5G data centers, Maggie gets a powerful, off-board brain that processes conversations at lightning speed.

Now in "full commercial deployment" with major partners like Uber Eats and DoorDash $DASH ( ▲ 2.54% ) , Serve is proving that the next generation of delivery will be both high-tech and highly personal. Say hello, Maggie!

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Should you check your 401(k) today?

👍️

Yes. Yes! Thrice YAY!

Poll of the day: It’s World-Famous-5-7-5™ time

Poll of the day:

We asked: “How should we feel about the proposed tax on vacant $5 million New York City second homes?”

You answered:

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Finally! If you leave a $5 million luxury mansion empty, you can afford to help close the city's budget deficit. (396)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ An absolute tragedy! Taxing these precious empty vacation pads will completely destroy the economy and tragically lower local property values. (36)
🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Tax the global elite! This is much better than Mayor Mamdani hitting the rest of us with huge tax hikes. (158)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ I do not own a home! I am just here enjoying watching real estate leaders dramatically cry over vacant luxury units. (77)

667 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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P.S. So, you remember the cheese puns that used to open this newsletter? Suffice to say, they were divisive. Now, thanks to a thing called “dynamic content options,” I can offer you the option to see cheese puns again, if you’re one of the thousands who got in touch bemoaning their departure six months ago. All you need to do is answer “true” on this survey, and submit it. If you never want to see cheese puns in this newsletter again, don’t click that link, don’t fill out the survey, don’t submit it. Just keep reading and pretend this conversation never happened. Mmmkay? Thank you.

Investors see end of Iran war as a foregone conclusion

Matt Davis — Thu, 16 Apr 2026 10:30:00 +0000

This week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ is about how the White House has warned staff not to profit by placing bets on prediction markets about the Iran War. Send me your entry — to haiku at cheddar dot com — by noon ET Thursday, for consideration by your Cheddar peers.

And now, news!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

Investors see end of Iran war as a foregone conclu …
Trump threatens to fire Powell (again)
New York governor wants to tax second homes
Hotels slash summer room rates as World Cup demand …
Cocoa prices came down, but you're still paying th …
Poll of the day: Tax ‘em? Or…you know…don’t?

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$BCS ( ▲ 3.4% ) $WFC ( ▲ 0.2% ) $CJ_F ( ▼ 5.38% )

Investors see end of Iran war as a foregone conclusion

(Google Nano Banana Pro)

Wall Street has a funny way of dealing with global conflicts. While the rest of the world nervously refreshes the news, investors are apparently treating the end of the U.S.-Israeli war with Iran as a foregone conclusion.

Despite the crucial Strait of Hormuz remaining stubbornly throttled and the IMF warning about global inflation and a potential recession, the S&P 500 is gleefully approaching a fresh record high. Why let a geopolitical crisis ruin a perfectly good stock rally?

As Christine Lagarde, the president of the European Central Bank, politely noted, “What is a little strange is that there is a tendency by some to assume that it’s business as usual”.

A little strange, Christine? Mais, oui! C’est un peu étrange!

Hardika Singh, a strategist at Fundstrat, rationalized the exuberance, telling the New York Times that “this level of steadfast earnings growth is an incredibly positive sign given that the market has been hammered in the first quarter by the effective closure of the Strait of Hormuz”.

Barclays $BCS ( ▲ 3.4% ) equity analyst Stefano Pascale summed up Wall Street's current naive optimism: “The market is trading assuming we have seen the worst of the conflict. The obvious risk is that we have not seen the worst of the conflict.”

Give that man a raise.

Trump threatens to fire Powell (again)

(Google Nano Banana Pro)

President Donald Trump has once again threatened to fire Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell — whose term as chair officially ends on May 15 — despite the fact that Trump has no legal authority to do so.

Thanks to the fine print of federal law, he can actually stick around on the board as a Fed governor until 2028. Naturally, Trump isn't thrilled about this, especially since Powell hasn't bowed to his relentless demands for substantially lower interest rates.

Trump also launched a Justice Department investigation into the Fed's $2.5 billion headquarters renovation. Trump claims the probe is about Powell's "incompetence," while Powell says it's just a flimsy pretext to bully the central bank.

Enter Trump ally and U.S. attorney Jeanine Pirro, who recently led a rogue, unannounced tour of the construction site. Defending the stunt, Pirro said: “Any construction project that has cost overruns of almost 80% over the original construction budget deserves some serious review. And these people are in charge of monetary policy in the United States?”.

The courts, however, aren't buying the drama. A federal judge completely swatted down the DOJ's subpoenas, noting hilariously that “the government has offered no evidence whatsoever that Powell committed any crime other than displeasing the president.”

Unfazed, Powell is digging his heels in, declaring he has “no intention of leaving the board until the investigation is well and truly over, with transparency and finality” and will do what is “best for the institution and for the people we serve.”

Trump’s nuanced diplomatic response? “I’ll have to fire him.”

New York governor wants to tax second homes

(Getty Images)

Got a spare $5 million apartment in Manhattan that you only visit for the holidays?

Have you considered giving it to me? Because New York Governor Kathy Hochul has a message for you: time to pay up.

Faced with a $12 billion budget deficit over the next two years, New York is finally looking to fill the gap by taxing the ultimate luxury item: The vacant pied-à-terre. Hochul's new proposal specifically targets wealthy non-residents whose multi-million-dollar vacation pads sit empty most of the year.

As Hochul politely reminded the absent elite, “New York City is the greatest city in the world, and the people who call it home should not be left carrying the burden alone”. She added, “If you can afford a $5 million second home that sits empty most of the year, you can afford to contribute like every other New Yorker.”

Mayor Zohran Mamdani is thrilled with the pivot. “Thanks to the support of Governor Hochul, we are one step closer to balancing our budget by taxing the ultra-wealthy and global elites,” he said.

Naturally, the real estate industry is having a meltdown over the estimated 102,900 units that sit largely vacant. Jim Whelan, president of the Real Estate Board of New York, claimed the tax “will weaken the city’s broader economy” and “eliminate thousands of construction jobs, lower property values, and raise costs for New Yorkers”.

I would love to see lower property values for empty $5 million homes, personally.

Song of the Day: Ella Langley, ‘Bottom of Your Boots.’

Here’s a catchy song blending Alabama twang and modern country production.

Hotels slash summer room rates as World Cup demand falls short

Remember when FIFA promised the 2026 World Cup would bring an unstoppable tidal wave of tourists to the U.S.? Yeah, about that.

Back in 2024, FIFA head Gianni Infantino assured host cities they would see “hundreds of thousands” of fans, including “many, many more who will just come to…be part of something special.”

It turns out that “something special” apparently involves a lot of empty hotel beds. The hospitality industry is facing a harsh reality check, with match-day room rates in major host cities dropping by a third from their peak. As Scott Yesner, founder of Bespoke Stay, bluntly told the Financial Times, “I’m seeing a lot of people start to panic and lower their rates.”

Why isn't the world flocking to America?

Well. I can think of a few reasons. Turns out, astronomical $6,900 ticket costs and a, let’s say, turbulent geopolitical landscape, are massive buzzkills. Lior Sekler of HRI Hospitality summed it up: “Obviously, people’s desire to come to the United States right now is down,” he told the Financial Times.

Vijay Dandapani of the Hotel Association of New York City admitted the event “certainly will not be the cornucopia that FIFA was promising.”

Cocoa prices came down, but you're still paying through the nose for candy

The chocolate industry is grappling with one of the most dramatic commodity swings in recent history. Cocoa bean prices $CJ_F ( ▼ 5.38% ) plummeted from historic highs of over $12,000 per metric ton in late 2024 down to around $3,300 today. However, consumers are still feeling the pinch at the checkout counter. What’s up with that?

We asked David Grange, Sector Manager at the Wells Fargo $WFC ( ▲ 0.2% ) Agri-Food Institute, why this price paradox exists. Tell us why, David. Please.

Grange attributes the initial historic spike to climate issues: "The spike was primarily weather driven," he said. Successive crop failures in West Africa, which accounts for 70% of global cocoa, created a severe supply deficit.

While improved weather has helped prices plummet internally, the high shelf cost persists. This is because manufacturers secured their supply using the futures market when cocoa was still expensive. The inventory currently being sold was purchased when prices were much higher.

David cautions that consumer prices are "probably pretty sticky.” Companies are trying to maintain margins after several years of low earnings, making them reluctant to drop prices. He believes moderation will only occur when there is "significant competition before they start all, maybe just start adjusting prices." Ultimately, however, demand remains strong. As Grange puts it, "chocolate is one of those luxuries. Consumers have to have it".

So the price of cocoa came down, but manufacturers know you’ll tolerate the new high prices and they’re taking you for a ride. Feel good about that.

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Should you check your 401(k) today?

👍️

Yes. Delusional optimism! Yay!

Poll of the day: Tax ‘em? Or…you know…don’t?

Poll of the day: “I have a competition in me!”

We asked: Why is Amazon frantically dropping $10.8 billion to acquire satellite operator Globalstar? You answered:

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Because Elon Musk’s Starlink already has 10,000 satellites in orbit, and Amazon simply refuses to lose this billionaire space race (229)

🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ To guarantee you never lose internet connectivity to shop online, even when you are stranded completely off the grid (116)

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Apple already uses Globalstar for iPhone roadside assistance, and Amazon naturally wants a piece of your emergency panic money. (39)

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ They desperately need to justify splashing billions on Jeff Bezos's Blue Origin rockets while SpaceX effortlessly launches its own. (61)

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Because that movie where James Franco sawed his arm off was disgusting and it could have been prevented with a decent signal (43)

488 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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Stocks are back to pre-Iran war highs

Matt Davis — Wed, 15 Apr 2026 10:30:00 +0000

And now, news!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

Stocks are back to pre-Iran-War highs
Meta unseats Google as world's largest digital ad …
Never lose cell signal again as Amazon buys Starli …
Why is Netflix’s boss schmoozing cinema owners?
Open AI investors question its $852 billion valuat …
Poll of the day: Amazonian ambitions

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$BLK ( ▲ 2.65% ) $C ( ▲ 2.2% ) $OWL ( ▲ 2.07% ) $ARES ( ▲ 1.34% ) $APO ( ▲ 3.15% ) $APP ( ▲ 2.38% ) $AMZN ( ▲ 0.34% ) $GSAT ( ▼ 0.01% ) $WFC ( ▲ 0.2% ) $JPM ( ▲ 0.11% ) $META ( ▲ 1.73% ) $GOOGL ( ▲ 1.68% ) $AMZN ( ▲ 0.34% ) $STARL ( ▼ 0.85% ) $AAPL ( ▲ 2.59% ) $NFLX ( ▼ 9.72% ) $V ( ▼ 4.5% ) $CNNWQ ( ▼ 19.2% ) $WBD ( ▲ 0.29% ) $OPENAI ( 0.0% ) $ANTHROPIC ( ▲ 16.07% )

Stocks are back to pre-Iran-War highs

(Google Nano Banana Pro)

Wall Street is buzzing with excitement as the stock market rallies to the edge of an all-time high. The S&P 500 added 1.1% yesterday, driven by climbing hopes that renewed US–Iran talks could prevent a worst-case scenario for the global economy. The wave of optimism also helped ease the price of Brent crude oil, which fell 4.1% to $95.27 a barrel.

Corporate earnings are taking center stage, and several big names saw impressive gains yesterday. Financial giants BlackRock $BLK ( ▲ 2.65% ) and Citigroup $C ( ▲ 2.2% ) rose 3.6% and 3.3%, respectively, after delivering stronger-than-expected profit reports. Meanwhile, alternative investment firms are also shining brightly: Blue Owl Capital $OWL ( ▲ 2.07% ) surged 7.9%, Ares Management $ARES ( ▲ 1.34% ) climbed 5.4%, and Apollo Global Management $APO ( ▲ 3.15% ) rose 3.5%.

In the tech space, AppLovin $APP ( ▲ 2.38% ) gained 4.2% as software companies broadly rallied. Amazon $AMZN ( ▲ 0.34% ) stock climbed 4.3% alongside a 9.8% jump for Globalstar $GSAT ( ▼ 0.01% ) , following news that the tech giant plans to acquire the satellite company (see more on that story below).

Not every stock joined the celebration, however. Wells Fargo $WFC ( ▲ 0.2% ) dropped 4.4% following weaker revenue. JPMorgan Chase $JPM ( ▲ 0.11% ) also dipped slightly, as CEO Jamie Dimon cautiously noted that bank officials cannot predict how the "increasingly complex set of risks" will play out.

Meta unseats Google as world's largest digital ad player

(Getty Images)

There's a new king in the world of digital advising. For the first time, Meta $META ( ▲ 1.73% ) is on track to overtake Google $GOOGL ( ▲ 1.68% ) as the world’s leading digital ad business this year. According to Emarketer, Meta's net ad revenue is projected to reach an astounding $243.46 billion, edging past Google’s $239.54 billion.

How did the parent company of Facebook and Instagram pull this off? It comes down to a massive AI push and the explosive popularity of short-form video. Meta’s AI recommendation engines recently boosted U.S. Reels watch time by more than 30%, creating massive new space to serve ads.

It is also about long-term strategy. As Max Willens, a principal analyst at Emarketer, told the Wall Street Journal, Meta has demonstrated “incredible patience” in establishing substantial user habits for products like Reels, Threads, and WhatsApp before eventually introducing advertisements.

Meanwhile, Google’s global ad growth is expected to stay flat at 11.9%, partly due to rising product search competition from Amazon $AMZN ( ▲ 0.34% ) . The digital ad landscape is shifting at the top, but the major tech giants are only tightening their overall grip; Meta, Google, and Amazon are projected to control 62.3% of the entire global market this year.

Never lose cell signal again as Amazon buys Starlink competitor Globalstar

A Farewell To Arm: James Franco in “127 Hours” (20th Century Fox)

Have you ever lost cell service in the middle of nowhere? Amazon $AMZN ( ▲ 0.34% ) is making a massive $10.8 billion move to change that by acquiring satellite operator Globalstar $GSAT ( ▼ 0.01% ) . Sadly this will also deprive the world of future movies in which James “canceled” Franco has to saw his own arm off like he did in “127 Hours.”

The bold acquisition supercharges Amazon’s Leo satellite venture in its heated rivalry with Elon Musk’s SpaceX and its dominant Starlink $STARL ( ▼ 0.85% ) network. By securing Globalstar’s highly valuable spectrum resources, Amazon plans to roll out its own direct-to-device satellite fleet starting in 2028.

Globalstar is already a proven player, currently providing the satellite infrastructure that powers emergency SOS and roadside assistance features on Apple’s $AAPL ( ▲ 2.59% ) iPhones. Following the acquisition, Amazon has agreed to a deal with Apple to power satellite services for future iPhones and Apple Watches using Leo's growing network.

The ultimate goal of this space race is to ensure consumers always have internet access, especially in remote, off-the-grid areas. T-Mobile's pitch for its Starlink-powered service is: “T-Satellite connects you where towers can’t.” With Amazon pouring billions into new satellite launches, the battle for your smartphone's signal is officially on!

Song of the Day: The Strokes, ‘Going Shopping’

"Going Shopping," the lead single from The Strokes' upcoming seventh album “Reality Awaits” (scheduled for release on June 26, 2026) has received polarizing reviews. While critics appreciate the tight instrumentation, many are divided over singer Julian Casablancas' heavy use of Auto-Tune. I, however, am not divided over it. I love it.

Why is Netflix’s boss schmoozing cinema owners?

Has hell frozen over? I ask because Netflix $NFLX ( ▼ 9.72% ) , the ultimate streaming disruptor, is suddenly playing nice with movie theaters. Co-CEO Ted Sarandos just made a historic first appearance at Cinemacon to meet with major domestic and international theater owners. Historically, Netflix has been hostile to traditional cinematic releases, but Sarandos appears to be trying to thaw the icy relationship. The meetings focused on building goodwill and celebrating recent collaborative stunts, like a special New Year's Eve screening of the "Stranger Things" finale that netted cinemas a cool $25 million in concession sales.

However, tensions still remain high. The upcoming two-week exclusive IMAX release of Greta Gerwig’s "Narnia: The Magician's Nephew" has owners feeling shortchanged. Tim Richards, CEO of VUE $V ( ▼ 4.5% ) , openly criticized this strategy as a “restrictive model” that “risks undermining the very ecosystem that makes theatrical success possible.”

Despite a 2022 "Glass Onion" theatrical run that former Cineworld $CNNWQ ( ▼ 19.2% ) CEO Mooky Greidinger praised as a “breakthrough,” Netflix is mostly sticking to its streaming-first guns. In fact, it is so tough to sell theaters on Netflix's strict rules that one owner joked that Netflix's head of theatrical distribution, Spencer Klein, is like "St. Jude, the patron saint of lost causes".

My guess is that Sarandos is trying to make nice with movie theaters because his bid to buy Warner Bros. $WBD ( ▲ 0.29% ) fell through.

Open AI investors question its $852 billion valuation

(Getty Images)

OpenAI $OPENAI ( 0.0% ) is valued at an astronomical $852 billion, but some investors are getting jittery as the company radically shifts its strategy. The AI giant is trying to defend ChatGPT's consumer dominance while pivoting hard to chase rival Anthropic $ANTHROPIC ( ▲ 16.07% ) in the highly profitable enterprise coding market.

With Anthropic's annualized revenue reportedly hitting $30 billion compared to OpenAI's $25 billion, some backers worry OpenAI is spreading itself too thin. One early investor didn't hold back, talking to the Financial Times: “You have ChatGPT, a 1bn-user business growing 50-100 per cent a year, what are you doing talking about enterprise and code? It’s a deeply unfocused company.”

Another major investor agreed, telling the FT: "The company was doing too many things...You can’t as a company compete on 30 different fronts".

However, OpenAI's leadership is fiercely defending their vision. Following a historic $122 billion funding round, Chief Financial Officer Sarah Friar dismissed the critics: “The suggestion that investors are not supportive of our strategy defies the facts,” she told the paper. She noted the record-breaking raise reflects "strong conviction in both our direction, current business momentum and long-term value." Chief Revenue Officer Denise Dresser was equally defiant, declaring that while Anthropic had an early advantage, "the market is ours to win.”

It’s sorta like the Mets talking about their position in the baseball hierarchy, relative to the Yankees.

The New Yorker ran a takedown piece on OpenAI boss Sam Altman last week. The most damning allegations characterize Sam Altman as highly deceptive. A secret memo by co-founder Ilya Sutskever's claimed Altman exhibited a "consistent pattern of…lying," concluding, "I don’t think Sam is the guy who should have his finger on the button." An unnamed board member also noted his "almost sociopathic lack of concern for the consequences that may come from deceiving someone." Reddit co-founder Aaron Swartz reportedly warned, "Sam can never be trusted. He is a sociopath." Finally, a Microsoft $MSFT ( ▲ 0.6% ) executive told the New Yorker there is a "real chance he’s eventually remembered as a Bernie Madoff- or Sam Bankman-Fried-level scammer.”

I imagine getting that last quote past Condé Nast’s attorneys was simply a breeze.

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Someone just spent $236,000,000 on a painting. Here’s why it matters for your wallet.

Late last year, a Klimt sold for the highest price ever paid for modern art at auction.

An outlier sure, but it wasn't a fluke. U.S. auction sales grew 23.1% in 2025. The $1-5mm segment even grew 40.8% YoY.

Now, the S&P, teetering on all time highs, just posted its worst quarter since 2022, oil was up 94% (briefly), and Moody's puts recession odds at 48.6%.

So, that's where it gets interesting.

Each environment is unique, but after dot-com, post war and contemporary art grew about 24% annually for a decade. After 2008, about 11% for 12 years.

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Should you check your 401(k) today?

👍️

Yes. Pre-Iran-War highs!

Poll of the day: Amazonian ambitions

Poll of the day: Millenials!

We asked: “Which generation has/had it toughest?”

You answered:

🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨 Boomers (204)

🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ Gen X (122)

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Millenials (209)

🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ Gen Z (108)

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Gen A (43)

686 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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Hollywood heavyweights sign letter opposing Paramount’s Warner Bros. buyout

Matt Davis — Tue, 14 Apr 2026 10:30:00 +0000

And now, ze news!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

Hollywood heavyweights sign letter opposing Paramo …
Who had it tougher — millennials or boomers?
The X-odus: Elon’s posting on TikTok and insta
An astronaut talks about “settling” on the moon
McDonalds launches ‘refreshers’ to hop on the cold …
Poll of the day: Which generation had it hardest?

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$WBD ( ▲ 0.29% ) $PSKY ( ▲ 0.09% ) $META ( ▲ 1.73% ) $SPACEX ( 0.0% ) $MCD ( ▲ 1.43% ) $SBUX ( ▲ 1.67% ) $DNKN ( 0.0% )

Hollywood heavyweights sign letter opposing Paramount’s buyout of Warner Bros.

Yep, it was these guys. (Giphy.com)

More than 1,000 of Hollywood's top creative talents are sounding the alarm over Paramount's $PSKY ( ▲ 0.09% ) proposed $111 billion acquisition of Warner Bros. Discovery $WBD ( ▲ 0.29% ) .

In a letter released Monday, A-list stars (including Bryan Cranston, Joaquin Phoenix, and Tiffany Haddish) and directors (like Denis Villeneuve and J.J. Abrams) warned how the deal would devastate an already struggling industry.

"We have witnessed a steep decline in the number of films produced and released, alongside a narrowing of the kinds of stories that are financed and distributed," the letter states. "Increasingly, a small number of powerful entities determine what gets made—and on what terms—leaving creators and independent businesses with fewer viable paths to sustain their work."

The signatories argue the merger will mean "fewer opportunities for creators, fewer jobs across the production ecosystem, higher costs and less choice for audiences."

Paramount pushed back, with a spokeswoman stating the deal will preserve "iconic brands with independent creative leadership—ensuring creators have more avenues for their work, not fewer."

Of course, she’s literally paid to say that.

The letter urges California Attorney General Rob Bonta to scrutinize the deal, declaring: "Competition is essential for a healthy economy and a healthy democracy."

Who had it tougher — millennials or boomers?

(Google Nano Banana Pro)

Thank goodness the Wall Street Journal finally tackled the greatest mystery of our time: Did Boomers or Millennials have it harder? According to their crack analysis, it’s a total toss-up — never mind that Boomers could famously fund their tuition with a minimum-wage summer job, while Millennials basically need to flip a house just to pay off a single semester.

The article graciously admits that college costs "shot up," making student loans a ballooning, crushing burden. But don't worry, economist Constantine Yannelis reassures us that Millennials just "earned less and studied more in their 20s" because they were busy making "large investments in education." Ah yes, "investing" in a system that completely exploded in price compared to 1970.

Then there's housing. Researcher Ana Hernández Kent accurately points out that “housing is the middle class’s wealth engine — and many millennials showed up after the train already left the station.” Yet somehow, author Bobby Duffy still claims that “this sense of two-way resentment is overblown.” Sure, Bobby! Let’s all hold hands and pretend that graduating into massive economic crashes with crippling debt is exactly the same as weathering a 1970s oil crisis.

Tell us how you feel about all this in today’s poll.

The X-odus: Elon’s posting on TikTok and insta

(Getty Images)

The man who spent $44 billion to turn Twitter into his personal megaphone has suddenly decided that rival platforms aren't so bad after all. Yes, Elon “arm gestures are a specialty of mine” Musk has seemingly joined TikTok and Instagram, the very apps X fiercely competes against.

Why the sudden change of heart? Could it possibly be because SpaceX is gearing up for an initial public offering that requires building massive public hype to raise billions and crown him the world's first trillionaire?

Let’s ignore his 2023 declaration that he quit TikTok because the app's artificial intelligence was "probing" his mind and that it was "rife" with antisemitic content. Tbh he can probably find that on X, though, right?

Let's also conveniently forget his recent admission to Joe Rogan where he was "concerned that Instagram actually leads to more unhappiness, not less.”

Instead, bask in the glory of his new verified TikTok account, which debuted with a slick promotional supercut of his companies captioned "Ad Astra," which is Latin for “I’m an idiot” “to the stars.” Over on Instagram, his temporarily verified profile humbly declared, "I like building things."

Song of the Day: Lady Gaga, Doechii, ‘Runway’

"Runway," a collaboration between Lady Gaga and Doechii, is the lead single for the soundtrack of “The Devil Wears Prada 2.” It’s basically a cheaper version of “Vogue” by Madonna, but don’t think that means I don’t like it — because I love it.

An astronaut talks about “settling” on the moon

(Cheddar.com)

Colonel Chris Hadfield, a retired astronaut and mustachioed former commander of the International Space Station, calls the recent Artemis II mission "an amazing, amazing flight," but he doesn't shy away from the risk involved.

He noted that the flight was "extremely dangerous" because it was the first crewed flight of both the rocket and the spaceship, where the astronauts "fired their engine and left and went to the moon and no way to turn around for six or seven days". Despite the challenges, Hadfield reports that the mission was "perfection," with the vehicle being "immaculate."

Beyond the technical success, Hadfield believes the flight’s true impact was "the humanity of the flight, the sharing of the human experience.” When asked about the crew's experience, he described them as initially feeling "mostly anticipation because the real purpose of the flight was to get to the moon," followed by being "overwhelmed." The crew captured everything by "recording it, talking about it, taking pictures of it,” he said.

Artemis II represents a monumental shift from previous programs. Hadfield explains, “we have now gone through the exploration phase, which was Apollo...but now the technology has gotten significantly better and we're transitioning from exploration to settlement.” He compares this new era of space travel to the rise of the automobile: "You need to look at space transportation in a similar light." Just as the world moved from horses to cars, cheap access to space will lead to a rapid transition, making this an essential time in human history, he said.

Watch the interview

McDonalds launches ‘refreshers’ to hop on the cold drinks bandwagon

(McDonald’s)

Warm up your Instagram filters because McDonald's $MCD ( ▲ 1.43% ) has finally discovered the "refresher", which is what we used to call a cold, fruity drink. Starting in May, the fast-food giant will graciously bless us with brightly hued, fruity drinks and even "dirty sodas" topped with whipped foam, specifically designed to look pretty online. As Alyssa Buetikofer, McDonald's chief marketing officer, astutely pointed out, “They come in vibrant colors. They are very Instagrammable.”

You understand why I had to put this story below our efforts to colonize the moon, right?

Why the sudden pivot from burgers to neon liquids? Well, McDonald's needs something high-margin to squeeze cash out of Gen Z and Gen Alpha, especially since their regular food profits are getting squeezed by climbing expenses. McDonald's beverage head Charlie Newberger noted, “It’s clearly a very attractive category, and we’re not the only ones who see it.”

Of course, nobody actually knows what a refresher is. Datassential trendologist Claire Conaghan admits, “It is almost easier to say what a refresher is not...it is whatever we decide it to be.” Still, McDonald's is banking on this vague, highly profitable sugar water to compete with Starbucks $SBUX ( ▲ 1.67% ) and Dunkin' $DNKN ( 0.0% ) , who have been doing this for years and nowadays, sell more cold drinks than hot ones.

McDonald's even had to shrink their boba pearls to fit their existing straws, creatively renaming them "bursties." Franchisee Scott Rodrick boldly proclaimed, “we may be late to the party, but we are the most interesting guest.”

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Should you check your 401(k) today?

👍️

Yes.

Poll of the day: Which generation had it hardest?

Poll of the day: Touchdown!

We asked: Do you think the NFL is overpriced for TV viewers?

You answered:

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ No! I love paying $280 for NFL Sunday ticket and another $30 a month for ESPN so I can watch the highlights with Chris Berman and Booger McFarland. (27)
🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ I would like the NFL to be cheaper, but I am also realistic that, if your lowest paid rookie earns $885,000 a year, it's got to be paid for somehow. (148)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Yes. I think the NFL is a price-gouging, evil organization, and the Department of Justice should nail them to the wall. (319)

494 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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White House warns staff to stop betting on the Iran war

Matt Davis — Mon, 13 Apr 2026 10:30:00 +0000

Harriet Feldman won this week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ with this beauty about coffee prices shooting up to $10 a pound:

To bean, not to bean,
War weather tariffs hit Joe.
Grounds for tea for me.
~Harriet Feldman

Congratulations, Harriet! Here’s your celebratory gif:

(Giphy.com)

And here’s how y’all voted on the competition, Cheddariños:

🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️ Black nectar of morn', More costly you have become, Forsooth, poop I must ~Richard Brown (81)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 To bean, not to bean, War weather tariffs hit Joe. Grounds for tea for me. ~Harriet Feldman (117)
🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ A pound of beans for ten bucks, means five for a single shot. I'm done, covfefe …~Hans Heinrich Leuthold (67)
🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️ Ten dollar latte; Tiny cup, enormous bill; Tip screen judges me. ~Joseph DeFini (107)
🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️ For a cup of Joe, no more “can you spare a dime?” Give the bank a try. ~Joan Benson (110)
482 Votes via @beehiiv polls

And now, ze news!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

White House warns staff to stop betting on the Ira …
Artemis II crew returns to Earth after historic Mo …
We talked to the guy investing millions in America …
Why it’s harder than it used to be to upgrade to f …
Justice department opens investigation into NFL

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$POLYMARKET ( 0.0% ) $SIEMENS.NSE ( ▲ 3.7% ) $DAL ( ▲ 2.62% ) $AAL ( ▲ 4.16% )

White House warns staff to stop betting on the Iran war

(Google Nano Banana Pro)

The White House is reminding staff to keep their hands off prediction markets following suspiciously well-timed bets surrounding President Trump's Iran policy announcements.

A staff-wide email from the White House Management Office on March 24 warned employees against leveraging their positions for financial gain in futures markets. The warning came one day after Trump announced a sudden pause in Iran strikes — and roughly 15 minutes before that announcement, more than $760 million in oil futures changed hands in under two minutes.

Clearly the strongly worded email didn’t work. More recently, three Polymarket $POLYMARKET ( 0.0% ) accounts earned over $600,000 by correctly predicting the timing of this week's Iranian cease-fire.

White House spokesman Davis Ingle confirmed the warning's authenticity: "The only special interest that will ever guide President Trump is the best interest of the American people,” he said.

Although you couldn’t necessarily say the same thing for his staff?

Critics aren't satisfied. "It is disgusting," said investor Tom Ellsworth on the Trump-friendly "PBD Podcast." "The timing of this certainly stinks."

Congressional Democrats are pushing back harder. Senator Richard Blumenthal argues prediction markets "are turning war into a casino game, and creating a market for national security leaks."

Senator Andy Kim added: "Corruption and exploitation are thriving right now within the gaps and loopholes of prediction markets."

The senators have introduced legislation to ban war-related prediction markets entirely.

Watch more

Artemis II crew returns to Earth after historic Moon mission

(NASA)

After 10 days circling the moon, NASA's Artemis II crew came home on Friday night.

Astronauts Reid Wiseman, Victor Glover, Christina Koch, and Canadian Space Agency astronaut Jeremy Hansen woke up Thursday to the songs "Run to the Water" by Live and "Free" by Zac Brown Band as they prepared for their historic return to Earth.

The crew successfully completed their final major maneuver — Return Trajectory Correction burn number 3 — positioning their Orion capsule for reentry. They hit Earth's atmosphere at 400,000 feet, traveling 30 times the speed of sound, with splashdown at 8:07 p.m. ET off the coast of San Diego.

Commander Wiseman took a moment to thank international partners on the livestream; "We just wanted to give a huge shout out to the ESA Airbus team, to our friends in the Netherlands, in Germany and at the Glenn Research Center. This vehicle powered us, and it propelled us from the Earth to the moon and back with extreme precision."

The mission wasn't without challenges. A recurring toilet malfunction and a leak in the service module's propulsion system tested the crew and mission controllers alike. In a touching moment, the astronauts identified two new lunar craters, naming one "Integrity" for their spacecraft and "Carroll" for Wiseman's late wife.

Song of the Day: Live, ‘Run To The Water’

If it’s good enough for astronauts to return to Planet Earth, this song is good enough for you to start your Monday.

We talked to the guy investing millions in American trains

Siemens Mobility North America, $SIEMENS.NSE ( ▲ 3.7% ) led by CEO Tobias Bauer, is making a massive $220 million bet on the future of American rail, driven by increased ridership and a landmark partnership with Amtrak.

Bauer, who leads the 4,500-member team, said their work is focused on creating "true impact and being able to allow our customers to move passengers and goods safely across the country".

The company's new advanced manufacturing facility in Lexington, North Carolina, is central to this effort, expanding production capacity for rolling stock like the new Amtrak Aero fleet. Bauer is confident in the market's demand for high-quality rail travel. “I'm very bold on American rail. I believe that this is what the public wants,” he said. He anticipates that new modern trains with Wi-Fi and reduced noise will drastically increase demand.

Especially true when you look at the price of jet fuel lately.

Bauer noted that the long-term partnership with Amtrak is key to delivering “what the American people deserve in terms of train travel.” The new Aero coaches, set to roll out this summer, are designed for maximum comfort and connectivity. Bauer encourages passengers to “get on that train once it's out there and experience... the comfort of boarding, the comfort of the seats, the connectivity you will experience.”

“Siemens is walking the talk when it comes to manufacturing jobs in the tech industry of the United States,” Bauer said.

Why it’s harder than it used to be to upgrade to first class on the ✈️

(Google Nano Banana Pro)

Remember when loyal flyers could count on complimentary upgrades to first class? Those days are largely gone.

Twenty years ago, Delta Air Lines $DAL ( ▲ 2.62% ) gave away roughly 85% of its first-class seats to loyal customers. Today, the airline sells over 70% of those premium seats outright — a transformation that's made Delta the most profitable U.S. carrier.

"When you think about where the industry was 20 years ago, we basically just sold main cabin seats," said Joe Esposito, Delta's chief commercial officer, talking to the New York Times. "What we all thought back then was, 'Can you make a premium product that people are willing to pay for?'"

The answer was a resounding yes.

Premium seats on U.S. airlines have grown 69% in the past decade, according to aviation research firm Cirium. Airlines have invested billions redesigning cabins with lie-flat beds, privacy doors, and luxury amenities.

The shift reflects rising economic inequality. Over 90% of Delta's revenue comes from households earning more than $100,000 annually.

"Coming out of the pandemic, people really decided, 'I need to start spending my time and my dollars on experience,'" explained Nat Pieper, American's $AAL ( ▲ 4.16% ) chief commercial officer.

Once passengers experience premium cabins, they rarely go back.

"People don't like to downgrade," Esposito said. "Once they've been in a nice cabin, their natural inclination is to stay there or go even higher."

Justice department opens investigation into NFL

(Getty Images)

The U.S. Department of Justice has launched an investigation into the National Football League over concerns that watching America's favorite sport has become too expensive and complicated for fans, the Wall Street Journal reports.

The probe comes amid growing frustration that consumers need multiple subscriptions across various streaming platforms to watch all NFL games — a far cry from the days when most games aired on free broadcast television.

The NFL defended its distribution model, stating it is "the most fan- and broadcast-friendly league," with 87% of games available on local TV. The league pointed to its 2025 season as "its most viewed since 1989," calling it a reflection of "the strength of the NFL distribution model and its wide availability to all fans."

The investigation follows a letter from Republican Sen. Mike Lee requesting federal agencies review the league's antitrust exemption granted under the 1961 Sports Broadcasting Act.

"Much has changed in sports broadcasting since 1961, raising new questions about the NFL's antitrust exemption," Lee said Thursday. "I'm glad the DOJ is tackling this important issue, as I urged them to do last month."

Fox CEO Lachlan Murdoch acknowledged at a recent investor conference that any increased NFL programming costs "would float through to local affiliates, to our distributors, and ultimately to consumers and to fans."

Watch more

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Should you check your 401(k) today?

👍️

If you didn’t already check it last week, maybe check it today.

Poll of the day: Football at any cost?

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Stocks near all-time highs for the second day in a row

Matt Davis — Fri, 10 Apr 2026 10:30:00 +0000

Vote for a winner in this week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ in today’s poll. Et maintenant, as they say in France, les informations!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

Stocks near all-time highs for the second day in a …
Newly created Polymarket accounts bet big on US–Ir …
American Airlines hikes bag fees — hitting basic e …
You’ll be able to buy shares in OpenAI when it flo …
Amazon CEO defends AI investment amid stock slide

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$STZ ( ▼ 1.2% ) $CRWV ( ▼ 2.27% ) $META ( ▲ 1.73% ) $SMPL ( ▲ 2.41% ) $POLYMARKET ( 0.0% ) $AAL ( ▲ 4.16% ) $UAL ( ▲ 7.12% ) $JBLU ( ▲ 6.53% ) $DAL ( ▲ 2.62% ) $LUV ( ▲ 5.1% ) $AMZN ( ▲ 0.34% )

Stocks near all-time highs for the second day in a row

(Google Nano Banana Pro)

U.S. stocks swung higher Thursday as investors navigated the delicate balance between ceasefire optimism and persistent oil market concerns following the Iran conflict.

The S&P 500 $SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) climbed 0.7% in afternoon trading after erasing early losses, now sitting just 2.1% below its all-time January high.

Oil prices remain the wild card. U.S. crude rose 1.4% to $95.78 per barrel after briefly nearing $103, with Brent crude adding 0.1% to $94.87. The Strait of Hormuz remains central to President Trump's demands of Iran.

Macquarie strategist Thierry Wizman told the Associated Press that upward pressure on oil prices may be "here to stay for a while" given how far apart U.S. and Iranian demands remain.

Constellation Brands $STZ ( ▼ 1.2% ) jumped 7.2% on strong quarterly results, though the Modelo and Robert Mondavi parent cited "limited near-term visibility" for pulling future forecasts. CoreWeave $CRWV ( ▼ 2.27% ) rallied 5.4% after announcing a $21 billion AI cloud deal with Meta Platforms $META ( ▲ 1.73% ) , which rose 3.4%. Simply Good Foods $SMPL ( ▲ 2.41% ) plunged 18.2% after disappointing revenue because people are sacrificing health food spends as they tighten their belts; CEO Joe Scalzo called results "unsatisfactory."

Watch more

Newly created Polymarket accounts bet big on US–Iran ceasefire

(Google Nano Banana Pro)

How do you turn $72,000 into $200,000 in a single afternoon? Apparently, you create a brand-new Polymarket account and bet big on a ceasefire nobody saw coming, apart, of course, from you.

An analysis of blockchain data by the AP reveals that at least 50 freshly created accounts placed substantial "Yes" bets on a U.S.–Iran ceasefire Tuesday — hours before Trump announced the deal. The president warned earlier that day that "a whole civilization will die tonight" if Iran didn't comply with his demands.

One wallet, created just 12 minutes before Trump's Truth Social post, walked away with an estimated $48,500 profit.

Rep. Blake Moore (R-Utah) didn't mince words: "It's highly unlikely that these are good-faith trades; it's much more likely that these are insiders with access to information ahead of the public."

This isn't the first time. Similar patterns emerged before the capture of Venezuela's Maduro and other Iran-related military actions.

"We can't have people trading with inside information and expect other traders are going to be OK being in these markets," said Georgia State professor Todd Phillips.

Amazingly, Polymarket $POLYMARKET ( 0.0% ) declined to comment.

Song of the Day: Randall King, ‘Thinkin’ Bout Drinkin’’

Here’s a self-released honky-tonk heartbreaker that feels destined for jukebox immortality, by West Texas-native Randall King.

American Airlines hikes bag fees — hitting basic economy flyers hardest

(Getty Images)

Packing light just became even more important for budget-conscious travelers.

American Airlines $AAL ( ▲ 4.16% ) announced Thursday it's raising checked bag fees, with basic economy passengers bearing the brunt of the increase. The move follows similar hikes from United Airlines $UAL ( ▲ 7.12% ) , JetBlue Airways $JBLU ( ▲ 6.53% ) Delta Air Lines $DAL ( ▲ 2.62% ) , and Southwest Airlines $LUV ( ▲ 5.1% ) over the past two weeks.

Starting with tickets booked Thursday, American will charge $50 for a first checked bag at the airport on domestic and short-haul international flights — a $10 increase. A second bag will run you $60. Savvy travelers can save $5 by checking bags through the airline's website or app.

Here's where it stings: Basic economy customers face even steeper fees beginning May 18. They'll pay $55 for their first bag and $65 for a second. The online discount still applies, bringing prices to $50 and $60 respectively.

That's not all. Starting May 18, all basic economy passengers — even those with elite status — must pay to select seats and will no longer qualify for complimentary or system-wide upgrades.

The culprit? The Iran war and its impact on jet fuel prices.

You’ll be able to buy shares in OpenAI when it floats

(Getty Images)

Good news for individual investors: when OpenAI goes public, you'll have a shot at getting in early (assuming the stock continues to go up after you buy it, of course).

CFO Sarah Friar confirmed Wednesday that the AI giant will "for sure" reserve a portion of IPO shares for retail investors — a rarity in today's market where institutional players typically gobble up the hottest offerings.

"AI needs to garner trust in everything that we do. That is part of why retail particularly speaks to me," Friar told CNBC. "It has to be that everyone partakes, that it isn't just that a very small group, and everyone else gets left behind."

The company tested retail interest during its recent funding round and saw "really strong demand." OpenAI initially aimed to raise $1 billion from individual investors but ended up with three times that amount — the largest private placement ever for participating banks. One bank's system actually crashed when investors rushed to access the data room.

Now valued at a staggering $852 billion, OpenAI won't stay private forever. "At our scale, raising equity forever doesn't make any sense," Friar said.

Drawing from her Square IPO experience and Elon Musk's playbook with Tesla and SpaceX, Friar sees broad ownership as essential: "Everybody wants to own part of a rocket company — I hope everyone wants to own part of ChatGPT," she said.

Watch more

Quote of the Day

Amazon CEO defends AI investment amid stock slide

(Getty Images)

Amazon $AMZN ( ▲ 0.34% ) CEO Andy Jassy wants investors to know the company isn't gambling with its record-breaking capital expenditures.

"We're not investing approximately $200 billion in capex in 2026 on a hunch," Jassy wrote in his annual shareholder letter released yesterday.

The letter is a data-heavy defense of Amazon's biggest bets, from AIand custom chips to satellite internet and ultra-fast delivery, and the numbers back him up.

Jassy revealed that AWS AI revenue has hit a $15 billion annual run rate — a figure Amazon hasn't previously disclosed. The company's internal chips business is now generating over $20 billion annually. Demand is so fierce that two major customers asked to buy all of Amazon's available Graviton chip capacity for 2026. Amazon declined.

"We have never seen a technology more quickly adopted than AI," Jassy writes. "Amazon is smack in the middle of this land rush, and companies are choosing AWS for AI."

He acknowledges that free cash flow dropped from $38 billion to $11 billion last year due to massive infrastructure investments, but Jassy isn't apologizing.

"We're not going to be conservative in how we play this — we're investing to be the meaningful leader,” he wrote.

His message to shareholders? "It's hard to overstate my optimism for what's ahead."

Given the stock’s whipsawing moves over recent months, let’s hope he’s right:

(Google Nano Banana Pro)

Watch more

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Leadership lessons from a record year of purpose-led growth

After 37 years in business, 2025 was a record-breaking year for Intrepid Travel. Revenue grew nearly 30%, with the company on track to hit $1bn in bookings in 2026.

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How they navigated that, what changed, and what they learned is all in the newly released Integrated Annual Report.

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Should you check your 401(k) today?

👍️

What about “nearing record highs” puts you off?

Poll of the day: It’s World-Famous-5-7-5™ Time

Poll of the day: ‘Back’ to the drawing board

We asked: “Do you believe Adam Back when he says, ‘Clearly I'm not Satoshi, that's my position.’” — about being the guy who secretly founded Bitcoin.

You answered:

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Yes. I believe the New York Times' investigative journalists would get something like this wrong after years of work. (39)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Yes. I believe that the founder of Bitcoin is a Japanese man called "Satoshi Nakamoto." (26)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 No. This guy is blatantly lying so people don't come after his $118 billion in stashed crypto. (274)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Say, is he single? (70)

409 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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Check your 401(k) as two-week ceasefire with Iran holds

Matt Davis — Thu, 09 Apr 2026 10:30:00 +0000

This week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ is about how the average retail price for a pound of roast coffee has risen to $10. Send me your entry — to haiku at cheddar dot com — by noon ET Thursday, for consideration by your Cheddar peers.

And now, the news!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

Check your 401(k) as two-week ceasefire holds
Meta spends $14 billion to produce an AI model tha …
NYT reporter claims to have unmasked Bitcoin's cre …
And you thought your corporate retreat sucked
Anthropic built an AI so scary they won’t release …

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$DJI ( ▼ 1.24% ) $UAL ( ▲ 7.12% ) $DAL ( ▲ 2.62% ) $CCL ( ▲ 6.99% ) $AAPL ( ▲ 2.59% ) $AMZN ( ▲ 0.34% ) $MSFT ( ▲ 0.6% ) $GOOGL ( ▲ 1.68% ) $CSCO ( ▲ 2.07% ) $AVGO ( ▲ 2.03% )

Check your 401(k) as two-week ceasefire holds

(Google Nano Banana Pro)

Break out the champagne! Your retirement account just had its best day in months because — and I cannot stress this enough — we've agreed to maybe not escalate a war for a whole 14 days. The Dow $DJI ( ▼ 1.24% ) surged 1,000 points Wednesday, oil plunged 15.9% to $95 per barrel, and investors everywhere breathed a collective sigh of relief.

Another thousand points and we’ll be back where we were, Dow-wise, on March 1. 🤷

"There is a reason to be optimistic, but it is still too early to tell, because, as you know, after all, it is Trump," said Takashi Hiroki, chief strategist at MONEX, talking to the Associated Press.

United Airlines $UAL ( ▲ 7.12% ) soared 9.7%, trimming its year-to-date loss from 20.1%. Delta $DAL ( ▲ 2.62% ) climbed 5.5% after reporting solid quarterly results. Carnival $CCL ( ▲ 6.99% ) cruise ships bobbed up 11.3%, presumably because people are excited to book vacations now that the Strait of Hormuz might be marginally less explode-y.

Your 401(k) looks better today. Enjoy it! Aaaaaand I’ll see you in two weeks.

Watch more

Meta spends $14 billion to produce an AI model that's 'good'

Meta $META ( ▲ 1.73% ) stock jumped 4% Wednesday as the company released “Muse Spark,” its first major AI model in over a year. In an industry where competitors ship models monthly, Meta took 15 months and one benchmark-cheating scandal to produce this one.

"Nine months ago, we founded Meta Superintelligence Labs with the goal of putting personal superintelligence in everyone's hands," Mark Zuckerberg posted on Threads. "We believe that empowering people to pursue their individual aspirations is how humanity has always made progress."

The announcement marks a milestone for Alexandr Wang, the former Scale AI CEO hired for $14 billion to clean up after the previous model, “Llama 4,” and its disastrous launch. That model achieved the rare distinction of being both disappointing and fraudulent after Meta admitted to gaming benchmarks.

According to internal tests, Muse Spark outscored Google's Gemini on some benchmarks and was "competitive" with OpenAI and Anthropic. Zuckerberg promises "increasingly advanced models that push the frontier” from here on.

Song of the Day: Jay-Z, ‘Dead Presidents’

This is widely considered one of the most essential recordings in hip-hop history. Originally released in February 1996, it’s been reissued to commemorate the 30th anniversary.

NYT reporter claims to have unmasked Bitcoin's creator after 16-year mystery

(LinkedIn)

After 16 years of speculation about who created Bitcoin, a New York Times investigation claims to have finally solved crypto's greatest mystery, and the answer was hiding in plain sight.

The investigation identifies Adam Back, a 55-year-old British cryptographer and prominent Bitcoin figure, as “Satoshi Nakamoto.” The evidence? A trail of linguistic breadcrumbs spanning decades.

The reporter analyzed over 34,000 users from cryptography mailing lists, systematically filtering for Satoshi's distinctive writing quirks: British spellings, specific hyphenation errors, phrases like "burning the money," and the outdated habit of putting two spaces between sentences.

After applying these filters, only one name remained: Adam Back.

"Clearly I'm not Satoshi, that's my position," Back told the reporter when confronted. But during the interview, he appeared to slip: when asked about Satoshi's quote "I'm better with code than with words," Back responded as if he'd written it himself.

Perhaps most damning: Back outlined nearly every component of Bitcoin on cryptography mailing lists a full decade before Satoshi's 2008 white paper appeared. He then mysteriously went silent when Bitcoin launched — only to resurface weeks after “Satoshi” vanished.

Back denies everything. But if true, he's sitting on 1.1 million Bitcoins worth $118 billion. No wonder he’s remaining tight-lipped.

And you thought your corporate retreat sucked

(Moniker Partners)

Complaining about your company's trust falls and icebreaker games? Please. Let me introduce you to Plexcon 2017, a $500,000 tropical nightmare chronicled by the Wall Street Journal this week through interviews with…ahem…survivors.

The trip to Honduras was for staff at free streaming platform Plex. It started awkwardly: The hotel's general manager and head chef both quit weeks before arrival. Employees were bused down dirt roads past guard towers with armed men. Just as staffers arrived, CEO Keith Valory was in his bathroom with E. coli from a salad, losing 10 pounds while a doctor nailed an IV bag to his bedpost.

Things did not improve from there.

A former Navy SEAL was hired to "pump up" this decidedly unfit group of remote workers. "People are passing out," recalled one executive. One employee landed on a fire ant hill and required antihistamine injected into her butt cheek. Someone spotted an alligator on the golf course. An engineer discovered a Mexican hairy dwarf porcupine had crashed through his ceiling into the shower. The kitchen served raw meat and boiled vegetable slop. The event planner's heart started failing from stress.

The grand finale? Eighteen employees got stranded on an island at sunset because the runway had no lights.

"Still one of the most fun trips ever," one survivor recalled.

I’d prefer a Microsoft Teams happy hour, to be honest, and that’s saying something.

Read the story

Quote of the Day

Anthropic built an AI so scary they won’t release it to the public

(Google Nano Banana Pro)

In a move that's either admirably responsible or deeply terrifying (why not both?), Anthropic announced Tuesday that its new AI model, “Claude Mythos Preview,” is simply too dangerous for public release. Instead, they're sharing it with 40 tech giants to help find security vulnerabilities before the “bad guys” do (people like Apple $AAPL ( ▲ 2.59% ) Amazon $AMZN ( ▲ 0.34% ) Microsoft $MSFT ( ▲ 0.6% ) Google $GOOGL ( ▲ 1.68% ) Cisco $CSCO ( ▲ 2.07% ) and Broadcom $AVGO ( ▲ 2.03% ) ).

The model has already discovered thousands of bugs in every major operating system and browser — including many that humans have missed entirely. Logan Graham, who tests Anthropic's models for dangerous capabilities, called it "the starting point for what we think will be an industry change point or reckoning."

CrowdStrike CTO Elia Zaitsev offered this comforting assessment: "What once took months now happens in minutes with AI."

The kicker? Anthropic chief scientist Jared Kaplan cheerfully reminded everyone: "As the slogan goes, this is the least capable model we'll have access to in the future."

Updating my iOs now, and just to be safe, also, my will.

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Should you check your 401(k) today?

👍️

What did I say up at the top, there, mate? Were you not paying attention? Hmmm?

Poll of the day: Is this guy lying or what?

Poll of the day: Take these up an inch!

We asked: “Do you value a good tailor?”

You answered:

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Yes. I love to get a pair of pants hemmed and a skirt taken in or out. (486)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ No. Tailors are an anachronism in the age of fast fashion. (84)

570 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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Oil prices rise and stocks fall ahead of 'deadline' for Iran

Matt Davis — Wed, 08 Apr 2026 10:30:00 +0000

And now, the news!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

Oil prices rise and stocks fall ahead of 'deadline …
Tailors are aging out of the workforce even as dem …
How Elon Musk's rocket technology could revolution …
March saw 178,000 new jobs, so why is everyone sti …
What does Gen Z want from their finances?

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$UAL ( ▲ 7.12% ) $DLTR ( ▲ 6.0% ) $DG ( ▲ 2.6% ) $COIN ( ▲ 3.26% ) $MSTR ( ▲ 11.8% ) $UNH ( ▲ 2.6% ) $HUM ( ▲ 2.18% ) $JWN ( ▲ 0.08% ) $LNKD ( 0.0% ) $WFC ( ▲ 0.2% )

Oil prices rise and stocks fall ahead of 'deadline' for Iran

U.S. stocks tumbled Tuesday as investors anxiously awaited President Donald Trump's latest deadline threatening Iranian infrastructure, while oil prices continued their war-driven climb.

Benchmark U.S. crude rose 1.3% to $113.82 per barrel, with Brent crude hitting $110.06— far above its pre-war level of roughly $70 in late February. The average U.S. gasoline price has jumped to $4.14 per gallon, up from below $3 before hostilities began.

The Dow $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) swung wildly in early trading, careening between a 74-point gain and a 425-point loss within the first hour.

"Investors are likely to remain on edge and markets unable to establish trends, probably until there is a clear outcome later this evening,” said Paul Christopher, head of global investment strategy at Wells Fargo Investment Institute, talking to the Associated Press. “A deal, the U.S./Israeli strikes intensify, or Iran's retaliation becomes escalatory instead of proportional."

Fuel-dependent companies took the hardest hits. Norwegian Cruise Line Holdings $NCLH ( ▲ 4.79% ) dropped 3.8%, while United Airlines $UAL ( ▲ 7.12% ) sank 2.9%. Discount retailers fell, Dollar Tree $DLTR ( ▲ 6.0% ) by 4.7% and 1.8% for Dollar General $DG ( ▲ 2.6% ) .

Crypto-linked stocks also struggled, with Coinbase Global $COIN ( ▲ 3.26% ) down 1% and Strategy $MSTR ( ▲ 11.8% ) falling 2.7%. However, health insurers provided bright spots following positive Medicare news. UnitedHealth Group $UNH ( ▲ 2.6% ) surged 10.5%, and Humana $HUM ( ▲ 2.18% ) rose 9.2%.

Watch more

Tailors are aging out of the workforce even as demand for their skills grows

(Google Nano Banana Pro)

An aging workforce and low wages threaten a craft that AI can't replace. Inside his Manhattan shop, tailor Kil Bae worries about his profession's future even as business booms.

"I recommend this job to young people because this one cannot be AI'd," said Bae, 54, talking to the Associated Press. "Different bodies. Different shape. They cannot copy like this."

The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reports fewer than 17,000 tailors now work in business establishments nationwide — a 30% decline from a decade ago. The median worker age is 54, and mean annual wages sit at just $44,050 compared to $68,000 for all workers.

"Most of fashion training is really aimed at mass production, not spending time in a shop handmaking a garment," explained Scott Carnz, provost of LIM College told the Associated Press.

Nordstrom $JWN ( ▲ 0.08% ) , employing 1,500 alteration specialists, partnered with the Fashion Institute of Technology to launch a nine-week sewing program. "We owe it to the broader industry to ensure that this is an art form that exists for years and years to come," said Marco Esquivel, Nordstrom's director of alterations,

Brooks Brothers is also expanding bespoke women's tailoring to 40 additional stores.

Bae, who previously worked as a pattern maker for Ralph Lauren and Donna Karan, plans to keep sewing, even at 85.

"I'm always learning," he said. "I am like an artist."

Song of the Day: Chris Stussy featuring Kučka, 'Fantasy'

Chris Stussy's collaboration with Kučka on "Fantasy" is a standout piece from his debut album, “Lost, Found & Forgotten,” released earlier this year. It’s quickly become a fan favorite for its blend of atmospheric depth and classic house energy.

How Elon Musk's rocket technology could revolutionize warfare

(Google Nano Banana Pro)

Here’s a story that’ll definitely make you feel safer in bed tonight. While Elon Musk's “Starship Heavy” rocket aims for Mars, physicist and semiconductor entrepreneur Michael Hochberg argues it may first transform military strategy by enabling a
“revolutionary space-based weapons system.”

Last June's B-2 bomber strike on Iran's nuclear facilities (remember that?) took 37 hours and cost approximately $5 million per plane to, er…deliver. Hochberg, a visiting scholar at Cambridge University's Center for Geopolitics, believes Starship offers a cheaper, faster, er…alternative.

"Starship will make it possible to use low Earth orbit as a parking lot for a giant space-based arsenal," Hochberg writes in the Wall Street Journal, enabling the U.S. to "pre-position conventional munitions...to strike anywhere on Earth within minutes."

He envisions thousands of precision bombs striking infrastructure simultaneously "without putting planes or military personnel at risk."

Although I’d imagine the people being bombed will feel at risk, in the circumstances?

Hochberg invokes naval theorist Alfred Thayer Mahan's concept of a "fleet in being" —warships hidden over the horizon creating psychological deterrence. A space-based arsenal would similarly affect adversaries' calculations, he thinks.

"It is crucial that the U.S. deploy this capability first," Hochberg warns, arguing key Starship technologies should be protected as national secrets.

I agree that it’s important for the U.S. to deploy this capability first, but only because I live in the U.S. In fact I think it might be best if nobody deploys this capability, ever.

March saw 178,000 new jobs, so why is everyone still worried?

Kory Kantenga from LinkedIn $LNKD ( 0.0% ) took on the delightful task of unpacking our economy’s "unexpected strength." Yes, the U.S. labor market just had its strongest jobs report in 15 months! Before you pop the champagne, let’s remember this number is a total "outlier," to quote Kory. Why are we celebrating? Because hospital workers came back from striking, driving strong gains in healthcare jobs.

Meanwhile, if you’re actually looking for a job, welcome to the Thunderdome. You’re competing with “twice as many applicants per job” than what we saw a few years ago. If you manage to land one, don’t expect a raise; wages are slowing down, not picking up.

While Big Tech layoffs related to AI get all the press, they barely register on the federal data (tech workers are less than 3% of the labor force). The real worry is the "cloudy" economic outlook, Kory said. While the U.S. is "fairly insulated" from the Middle East war, global energy spikes hit the cost of everything — even the helium needed for our AI chips. Businesses are thus "delaying hiring plans," choosing to "hold and keep things steady" rather than expand.

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em! And by “smoke” I mean hug and by “‘em,” I mean job.

Watch the interview

Quote of the Day

What does Gen Z want from their finances?

(Getty Images)

Perhaps no generation is redefining their relationship with money more than Gen Z, who are focused on intentionality and control, according to Wells Fargo’s head of private wealth planning $WFC ( ▲ 0.2% ) Emily Irwin.

Irwin points to three major shifts, noting that the "biggest shifts we're seeing is first being more intentional with your money. Over 90% of individuals said they want to be more intentional with their money, meaning tying personal goals to dollar decisions. Secondly, people want to optimize the dollar. They want their finances to go farther and they want them to last longer. And then third, we're seeing increase in savings year-over-year."

This desire for control is so strong that 84% of Americans would forgo social media for a year rather than their banking apps. Irwin explains, "When we see individuals wanting to give up social media before their banking app, what we're really hearing is we want to take more control over our finances.”

This generation is also embracing entrepreneurship, with 70% viewing business ownership as central to financial success. Irwin calls Gen Z an "inspiration for us" because "they've been flexing entrepreneurial muscle probably earlier and more frequently than some of the other generations" due to coming up through the gig economy.

However, this proactive approach comes from a place of uncertainty, as "almost half find their financial lives to be 'messy.'" For those grappling with this new normal of financial instability, Irwin stresses the value of forward-thinking strategy. She is a "huge proponent of scenario planning," suggesting individuals tie their planning to goals and ask: "What happens if I start shifting? What happens if want to take out a small business loan to start a business? Or what happens if I take a clear path shift in order to gain an experience I need to propel myself?"

For financial education, Gen Z is turning to a blend of fintech tools and AI. While noting that social media can be a good starting point, Irwin advises that new tools like AI "can be incredibly powerful. Go in and ask the questions that may cure even a little bit too embarrassed to ask a financial professional or a friend or a family member," she advises. Ultimately, Gen Z's financial journey is characterized by a savvy, self-directed desire to make every dollar work harder.

I didn’t start saving for retirement with a vengeance until I was 40. I say these kids are all crazy!

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Should you check your 401(k) today?

👎️

I’m gonna say no, this morning.

Poll of the day: Tinker, Tailor…

Poll of the day: Bring the Rolls round, Smithers

We asekd: What's your ideal luxury car?

You answered:

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Genesis (46)
🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ Audi (87)
🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️ Lexus (128)
🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ BMW (100)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Rolls-Royce (186)
🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Ferrari (73)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Tesla (18)
638 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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Chase boss warns of private credit market risk

Matt Davis — Tue, 07 Apr 2026 10:30:00 +0000

And now, the news.

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

Chase boss warns of private credit market risk
The tech inside John Deere's combines will blow yo …
Meet the CEO whose skincare brand is saving lives
United Airlines splits business class into budget …
Genesis launches 22 new models, race car

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$JPM ( ▲ 0.11% ) $DE ( ▲ 1.07% ) $UAL ( ▲ 7.12% ) $FRONT ( ▼ 2.92% ) $SAVEQ ( ▲ 0.43% ) $ALK ( ▲ 10.33% ) $JBLU ( ▲ 6.53% ) $HYMTF ( ▼ 7.44% )

Chase boss warns of private credit market risk

(Getty Images)

JPMorgan Chase $JPM ( ▲ 0.11% ) CEO Jamie Dimon is warning investors to brace for bigger-than-expected losses in the booming private credit market when the next downturn arrives.

In his closely watched annual letter to shareholders, Dimon argued that years of loosening standards have set the stage for painful surprises. "I do believe that when we have a credit cycle, which will happen one day, losses on all leveraged lending in general will be higher than expected, relative to the environment," he wrote.

The culprit? "Credit standards have been modestly weakening pretty much across the board," Dimon explained, pointing to overly optimistic assumptions about borrowers, weakened loan covenants, and increased use of payment-in-kind arrangements that let companies delay repayments.

The $1.8-trillion private credit industry has exploded over the past decade as regulations pushed traditional banks like JPMorgan out of certain lending markets; however, Dimon (famous for coining the term "cockroaches" to describe problem loans) cautioned that complacency has set in.

The industry has "not had a credit recession in a long time, and it seems that some people assume it will never happen," he warned.

Assumptions only make an a** out of you and me, as my English teacher used to say.

The tech inside John Deere's combines will blow your mind

You think you know John Deere $DE ( ▲ 1.07% ) ? Those big green machines? Maybe a cozy cab with a cup holder? Cute. You're living in the past, friend. We’re not even in the ninth inning of this agricultural “baseball game” — we’re still in the “second or third inning,” according to Julian Sanchez, Manager of Combine Engineering at John Deere. Get ready for the future because it involves your tractor having “eyes and ears.”

That's right: Your combine is now less farm equipment and more Terminator, constantly “watching for everything and listening for everything.” It’s got adaptive cruise control, but instead of checking for cars it's checking for crop density. It's making sure it operates at the “maximum ideal speed” because going too slow means you “leave productivity out there in the field.”

Forget planting seeds based on, you know, centuries of human knowledge. Now, we have “AI powered precision planting.” The truly mind-blowing part? They have “literally put a camera with a small laser. Literally in the dirt.” A camera. In the dirt. Just so a robot can check its perfect furrow. Julian admits, “I never thought we would actually be dragging a camera through the dirt, but that's literally what we're doing.”

Why are they doing this? Labor shortages! The farm life isn't just about sunsets and manual labor anymore; it’s about “less skilled operator[s]” being able to pilot these hyper-sensitive, high-tech behemoths. Soon, farmers will be “able to just literally talk to their data.” Just try not to talk back when your combine asks why you’re idling.

Song of the Day: Weezer, ‘Shine Again’

Written by Weezer drummer Patrick Wilson, this new song advises someone to get through a bad patch by concentrating on everyday tasks: “The dog walk, the dishes, the good-morning kisses.” It's a pep talk delivered at full blast. “You were always great / Remember how it feels.” Yeah!

Meet the CEO whose skincare brand is saving lives

(Osier)

Finally, a skincare brand for those of us who have spent years "sleeping in our makeup for days on end and just reapplying it day after day," as Cheree Ashley so eloquently puts it. Cheree spent ten years in the recovery field running rehab centers and decided that her logical next step was launching a Korean-inspired skincare line.

As Cheree says, "Us in recovery, you know, we need that instant satisfaction." Move over, clinical therapy; we've got willow bark extract now.

Enter Colombian TV host Sandra Vergara, who claims the products give an "instant glow up" without the inflammation. It’s "Korean skincare, but elevated," which I assume means it costs more but makes you feel at least 10% better about your life choices, since 10% of the proceeds go to scholarships for rehabilitation treatment.

The mission is noble: Helping those without insurance get professional care. So, I’ll save the sarcasm for later (Will you ever, though, Matt? — Ed.)

Watch the interview

United Airlines splits business class into budget tiers

(Getty Images)

United Airlines $UAL ( ▲ 7.12% ) is bringing the unbundling playbook to the front of the plane, introducing tiered pricing for its premium Polaris business class seats on long-haul flights. The airline will now offer three distinct levels of business class on international, transcontinental U.S., and select Hawaii routes:

Base: No seat selection, no flight changes, no refunds, and no lounge access
Standard: Includes seat selection, flight changes, and lounge access — but still no refunds
Flexible: The full package with all perks included

It's the latest move by United to extract more revenue from existing inventory. Just last week, the carrier unveiled the "United Relax Row," which are three economy seats that transform into a lie-flat space, complete with mattress pad, plush blanket, extra pillows, and even a plush toy for families. Gasp.

United isn't alone. Alaska Airlines $ALK ( ▲ 10.33% ) announced lie-flat business seats with privacy doors, while JetBlue $JBLU ( ▲ 6.53% ) raised baggage fees.

The pressure is mounting. With jet fuel, roughly 30% of airline costs, surging due to the Iran conflict, carriers are scrambling for new revenue streams. Budget airlines like Spirit $SAVEQ ( ▲ 0.43% ) and Frontier $FRONT ( ▼ 2.92% ) face the toughest road ahead without premium products to lean on.

The bottom line: Your next business class ticket might not include what it used to.

Genesis launches 22 new models, race car

Ever wondered what happens when a luxury car brand decides it's tired of being the "new kid" and starts acting like the coolest person in the room? Enter Genesis $HYMTF ( ▼ 7.44% ) America and its COO, Tedros Mengiste. Mengiste explained that Genesis is less of an automotive manufacturer and more of a “lifestyle choice” for people who find regular luxury too regular.

Mengiste was quick to mention that Genesis is a "young 10-year-old company" that's having a "big impact." They sold 80,000 cars last year, generating revenue around $8 billion. But it's not just about the numbers; it's about the experience. Genesis is founded on the Korean principle of "son-nim," which means "honored guest." When you walk into one of their 84 standalone retailers (which Mengiste insists are "phenomenal" and "amazing" — no bias here, of course), they treat you like you're staying in their guest room, minus the awkward breakfast conversation.

Don't even get him started on their SUV growth. The GV70 and GV80 are apparently taking over the world, one suburban driveway at a time. Plus, they're launching "Magma," a performance line that sounds more like a Bond villain's secret weapon than a trim level. With 22 models planned by 2030 and a foray into Le Mans racing, Genesis is basically saying, "Watch out, world, we're coming for your podiums and your wallets."

So, if you're looking for a car that offers quality, safety, and the feeling of being an "honored guest," Genesis is here…just in case you were bored with your Mercedes $MBGAF ( ▼ 0.77% ) , Lexus $LEXUS.NSE ( ▲ 4.99% ) , or Audi $AUDVF ( ▼ 7.62% ) .

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Should you check your 401(k) today?

👍️

Maybe so, old chum. Maybe so.

Poll of the day: Lap after lap of luxury

Poll of the day: Coffee nostalgia…

$18 espresso?

🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ It’s Wichita, not Wakanda. If I’m paying $18 for a pound of anything in the Air Capital, it better come with a complimentary flight out. (92)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Have you been outside lately? $18 is the current street value of a single organic egg. You’re practically robbing them. (35)
🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ If the "Boneshaker" name is accurate, you’ll be so productive you’ll work three extra jobs on the side and pay for the bag by lunchtime. (56)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 I remember when a pound of coffee was $8 a bag the first time Donald Trump was president. Happy days. (150)
🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️ No. (122)
455 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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Zuckerberg reportedly offered to censor Meta users for Musk

Matt Davis — Mon, 06 Apr 2026 10:30:00 +0000

Kristin Lanham just won last week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ by a whisker, with this beauty about the war in Iran speeding up the shift to electric vehicles:

Hormuz tightens fast,
U.S. stalls at high gas pumps,
China charges on
~Kristin Lanham

Congratulations, Kristin! She writes: “Thank you for the votes and hope this war ends soon and gas prices go down!

And here’s how you voted on the competition:

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ New PTA film, After I drank your milkshake… “There will be EVs” ~Madeliene Rae (17)
🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️ Wallets cry at pumps; Meanwhile cars sip from outlets; Big Oil clutches pearls. ~Joe DeFini (139)
🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ Put put goes the car, Tut tut goes our bank accounts, Plug 'er in and save. ~Janine (90)
🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Tears at the gas pump? Boo-hoo, you ignoramus: You had years to switch. ~Hans Heinrich Leuthold (66)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Hormuz tightens fast, U.S. stalls at high gas pumps, China charges on ~Kristin Lanham (149)
461 Votes

via @beehiiv polls

Democracy in haiku-action! (But I would really like Hans Heinrich Leuthold to win something because of his fancy-sounding name).

Speaking of the big D, let’s look at da news!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

Zuckerberg offered to censor Meta users for Musk, …
March saw great jobs numbers, amazingly
Economists think politicians are unprepared for AI …
Why did a pound of coffee get so expensive?
Someone makes the case for tariffs, a year on

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$META ( ▲ 1.73% ) $SPACEX ( 0.0% ) $KKR ( ▲ 1.55% )

Zuckerberg offered to censor Meta users for Musk, says report

(Getty Images)

Who says the ultra-rich can't put aside their differences to undermine democracy together?

Remember when $META ( ▲ 1.73% ) founder Mark Zuckerberg spent months railing against government censorship on Joe Rogan's podcast? Good times. Turns out what he actually meant was: Censorship is only bad when it's not his censorship helping his billionaire frenemies.

Leaked texts found by investigative outlet Oligarch Watch reveal Zuckerberg texted Musk during the DOGE chaos: "Looks like DOGE is making progress. I've got our teams on alert to take down content doxxing or threatening the people on your team. Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help."

Musk's eloquent response? A heart emoji. Bromance isn't dead.

Then, naturally, Musk pivoted to business: "Are you open to the idea of bidding on the OpenAI IP with me?" Like, thanks for offering to silence my critics, wanna go in together on a $97.4 billion deal pitch?

Proton's Edward Shone told Oligarch Watch: "This isn't a blue or red thing... This is a government oversight point."

What a hater.

March saw great jobs numbers, amazingly

Change in jobs numbers, month by month, from the labor department (Google Nano Banana Pro)

The U.S. labor market delivered a welcome surprise in March, adding 178,000 jobs and far exceeding the 59,000 that economists had predicted. The robust numbers marked a sharp turnaround from February's revised loss of 133,000 jobs, offering a glimmer of hope for an economy facing headwinds.

The unemployment rate dipped to 4.3%, though the improvement came with a caveat — the labor force contracted by nearly 400,000 people, pushing workforce participation to its lowest level since fall 2021.

"We should all be rooting for a higher participation rate," said Henry McVey, head of global macro and asset allocation at KKR $KKR ( ▲ 1.55% ) , talking to the Wall Street Journal. "You're in a solid, but not spectacular, growth environment."

Healthcare and social assistance drove the gains, rebounding with approximately 90,000 jobs after a West Coast strike disrupted February's numbers. Construction added 26,000 positions, while leisure and hospitality contributed 44,000. The federal government remained a weak spot, shedding 18,000 jobs.

Despite March's strong showing, the bigger picture reflects a cooling trend. The economy has averaged just 15,000 new jobs monthly over the past six months, down sharply from 78,000 during the same period last year — with job losses recorded in five of the past twelve months. Good job the long-term employment picture has nothing to fear from the robots, eh? Wait…

Song of the Day: Jack White, ‘G.O.D and the Broken Ribs.’

Jack White was playing guitar with his band the Raconteurs at the best gig I ever went to in my life, when he closed out the Voodoo Festival in New Orleans in 2011. He’s dropped two new singles, "G.O.D. And The Broken Ribs" and "Derecho Demonico," over the last few days, and White was also the musical guest on this week's “Saturday Night Live,” with Jack Black hosting. Worth a watch!

Economists think politicians are unprepared for AI’s looming jobs disruption

(Google Nano Banana Pro)

Economists who dismissed AI job concerns are now graciously admitting that maybe this whole AI thing could be a big deal.

"I don't think A.I. has hit the labor market yet, and I don't think it's radically changed corporate productivity yet, either, but I think it's coming," said Daniel “tenured professor so why worry?” Rock, a University of Pennsylvania economist, talking to the New York Times.

Give this man the Sherlock Holmes prize for deduction!

Alex “also a tenured professor so why worry?” Imas of the University of Chicago confessed he was "definitely on the more skeptical side" when ChatGPT launched. But now? "It was just a paradigm shift for me... This is potentially an industrial revolution-scale event, if not more,” he told the Times.

Meanwhile, Molly “cushy job at a major nonprofit so why worry?” Kinder of the Brookings Institution offered this comforting observation: "I really don't know anything a college student can bring to my team that Claude can't do."

Plus the robot shows up on time and it doesn’t call out your “micro-aggressions” on staff retreats.

Amazingly they also think our politicians are totally unprepared. Another told the Times, "our social safety net was designed to help people over transitory shocks. This one might actually be a more permanent shock."

Or perhaps they all just have a nasty case of the Mondays.

Why did a pound of coffee get so expensive?

(Google Nano Banana Pro)

If you've noticed your favorite coffee costing more lately, you're not imagining things. Just ask Kansas coffeeshop owner Andrew Gough, who has raised the price of a pound of his bestselling Boneshaker Espresso from $15 to $17 — with another hike to $18 to coincide with his product being featured in the newspaper.

The culprits? A brutal combination of crop failures, tariffs, rising labor costs, and Wall Street speculation that's turning coffee markets upside down, reports the Wall Street Journal.

When Wichita-based Gough ordered beans early last year, green coffee prices had nearly doubled from $2.41 to $4.30 per pound. "It kind of freaked us out," he admitted. That single increase meant nearly $200,000 in additional costs for his small operation.

Despite absorbing roughly half of these increases himself, Gough's financial situation remains precarious. "It's been spiraling downwards every week," he said of his cash flow. His account meant to save $50,000 for futures contracts currently holds $5.02.

Adding to the chaos is rampant speculation. Emory University professor Peter Roberts — who tracks specialty coffee prices in his tenured job, so why worry? (Enough, Matt — Ed.) — doesn't mince words: commodity prices have been "just roller coaster stupid. Hedge funds are just liking the gamed uncertainty."

For small roasters like Gough, there's simply no escaping the squeeze. "There's too many variables for us to follow," he said. "I've got to fix the toilet. I've got to do the broken doorknob."

I know how he feels.

Someone makes the case for tariffs, a year on

(Getty Images)

Manufacturing jobs may not have come roaring back as promised following President Donald Trump’s “Liberation Day” tariffs a year ago, but it’s nice to hear from an economist who actually thinks they’ve worked…don’t you think?

A year ago, economists warned that President Trump's sweeping tariffs would trigger recession, soaring inflation, and millions of lost jobs. Writing in the Financial Times, Oren Cass — chief economist at right-leaning Washington D.C.-based think tank American Compass — argues the critics got it spectacularly wrong.

"The past year has also proved as disruptive to the discipline of economics and the overconfidence of its most prominent practitioners as it has been to supply chains," Cass writes.

The numbers tell an unexpected story. Inflation actually fell to 2.4% from 2.8% the prior year. GDP growth accelerated to 2.9%. The dollar weakened rather than strengthened, and countries negotiated rather than retaliated. Industrial output, which declined 0.3% in 2024, posted a 1.6% gain.

Even Bloomberg's chief U.S. economist Anna Wong acknowledged the positive data is "corroborated by a very strong signal from the latest earning transcripts" and that "tariffs probably played a role."

Cass concedes challenges remain; capital investment must surge, and workforce development needs, let’s say…attention. However, he sees vindication in the data.

"Globalisation worked flawlessly in theory, but failed in fact," Cass concludes. "On this first anniversary of 'liberation day', the alternative is showing greater promise."

I hate it when people I vaguely disagree with on instinct say smart things that make me feel stupid. It’s bad for democracy. I’m sure of it.

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Should you check your 401(k) today?

👍️

Maybe so, old chum. Maybe so.

Poll of the day: $18 espresso

Do you think $18 is too much for a pound of Boneshaker Espresso from Wichita, Kansas?

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SpaceX files to go public in world's largest IPO ever

Matt Davis — Fri, 03 Apr 2026 10:30:00 +0000

Vote for the winner of this week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ in today’s poll!

And now, da news.

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

SpaceX files to go public in world's largest IPO e …
Anthropic races to contain code leak behind Claude …
Hershey says it will shift back to classic recipe …
Private credit fund hit with huge redemption reque …
A year later, here's where things stand on the pro …

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$SPACEX ( 0.0% ) $ANTHROPIC ( ▲ 16.07% ) $HSY ( ▲ 0.66% ) $OWL ( ▲ 2.07% ) $LNKD ( 0.0% ) $KKR ( ▲ 1.55% ) $ARES ( ▲ 1.34% ) $APO ( ▲ 3.15% ) $BLK ( ▲ 2.65% )

SpaceX files to go public in world's largest IPO ever

(Getty Images)

Elon Musk's SpaceX has confidentially filed for an initial public offering that could become one of the largest in history. The rocket and satellite company is targeting a June debut, aiming to raise between $50 billion and $75 billion with a valuation exceeding $1 trillion.

Founded in 2002 with the ambitious goal of making humanity a multi-planetary species, SpaceX has evolved into a space-industry powerhouse. The company now dominates U.S. launches, accounting for five of every six trips to orbit, while its Starlink satellite internet service generated $8 billion in sales in 2024 alone.

The IPO proceeds would fund ambitious projects including orbital AI data centers, a lunar colony, and Mars missions. Some funds may also address, let’s say, debt from Musk's Twitter acquisition.

Not everyone is convinced the timing is right. Investment manager Ross Gerber called it "a terrible time to go public," talking to the New York Times, but acknowledged Musk's strategy: "Elon is saying, 'I have this window to fund all this craziness for a good period of time based on the SpaceX hype.'"

Others remain optimistic. Ark Invest's Brett Winton noted, "The amount is commensurate with the size of the opportunity."

A new world awaits in the off-world colonies!

Anthropic races to contain code leak behind Claude AI agent

(Getty Images)

Anthropic is facing an unexpected crisis after inadvertently exposing the proprietary instructions behind Claude Code, its popular AI coding assistant that has helped the company gain significant traction with developers and businesses.

The leak occurred Tuesday when a routine software update accidentally included files that linked to downloadable source code. An X user quickly spotted the exposure, and within hours, copies spread rapidly across GitHub. By Wednesday morning, Anthropic had issued copyright takedown requests — initially targeting over 8,000 copies before narrowing to 96.

"This was a release packaging issue caused by human error, not a security breach. We're rolling out measures to prevent this from happening again," an Anthropic spokesman told the Wall Street Journal, emphasizing that no customer data or the company's valuable AI model weights were compromised.

However, the leak did reveal commercially sensitive techniques Anthropic uses to make its AI models function effectively as coding agents. Programmers discovered intriguing features, including a memory consolidation process called "dreaming" and instructions for Claude Code to go "undercover" when publishing code.

The exposure gives competitors a potential roadmap to replicate Claude Code's functionality — a significant concern as Anthropic pursues a $380 billion valuation ahead of a possible IPO.

Dan Guido, CEO of cybersecurity firm Trail of Bits, offered a measured assessment: "The leak is embarrassing but not dangerous," he told the Journal.

Song of the Day: Yeat, Elton John, ‘Lose Control’

This song, from American rapper Yeat’s new double album, “A Dangerous Lyfe / A Dangerous Love” features a highly discussed collaboration with British pop and rock legend Sir Elton John. Critical consensus suggests that the track’s execution doesn’t quite match the massive and unexpected star power of its billing. Still, I rather like it.

Hershey says it will shift back to classic recipe for all Reese’s products after criticism

(Google Nano Banana Pro)

Hershey $HSY ( ▲ 0.66% ) announced Wednesday that all Reese's products will return to their original classic recipes by 2027, following public criticism from the grandson of the candy's inventor.

While Reese's Peanut Butter Cups have always featured real chocolate and peanut butter, some smaller products like mini Easter eggs had shifted to coatings containing less chocolate. That's about to change.

"Hershey is committed to making products consumers love and that means continually reviewing our recipes to meet evolving tastes and preferences," the company said in a statement.

The recipe reversal comes after Brad Reese, grandson of H.B. Reese who invented the iconic candy in 1928, sent a pointed public letter to Hershey's brand manager on Valentine's Day.

"How does The Hershey Co. continue to position Reese's as its flagship brand, a symbol of trust, quality and leadership, while quietly replacing the very ingredients (Milk Chocolate + Peanut Butter) that built Reese's trust in the first place?" Reese wrote on LinkedIn $LNKD ( 0.0% ) .

Rising cocoa prices had prompted Hershey and other manufacturers to experiment with reduced chocolate formulations in recent years.

Private credit fund hit with huge redemption requests

(Getty Images)

Private credit giant Blue Owl Capital $OWL ( ▲ 2.07% ) is grappling with a massive wave of redemption requests, as investors sought to withdraw approximately $5.4 billion from two flagship funds in the first quarter — raising serious questions about the health of the once-hot asset class.

The New York-based firm disclosed that withdrawal requests at its tech-lending fund surged to a staggering 40.7% of the fund's $3 billion value. Meanwhile, its marquee $20 billion direct-lending fund saw redemption requests hit 21.9%.

In response, Blue Owl capped withdrawals at 5% for both vehicles, a standard industry threshold that allows managers to effectively close the door on redemptions during periods of stress.

The exodus surpassed redemption levels at Blue Owl's major competitors, including KKR $KKR ( ▲ 1.55% ) , Ares Management $ARES ( ▲ 1.34% ) , Apollo Global $APO ( ▲ 3.15% ) , and BlackRock's $BLK ( ▲ 2.65% ) HPS Investment Partners, all of which have also limited withdrawals.

Craig Packer, Blue Owl's co-president, told the Financial Times the surge is due to "a period of heightened negative sentiment toward the asset class that has intensified as peers have reported tender results."

He maintained confidence in the underlying investments: "We continue to observe a meaningful disconnect between the public dialogue on private credit and the underlying trends in our portfolio."

The situation highlights the liquidity risks wealthy investors accepted when chasing higher yields in non-traded private credit funds.

Watch more

Quote of the Day

A year later, here's where things stand on the promised U.S. manufacturing revival

(Getty Images)

One year after President Donald Trump promised that "jobs and factories will come roaring back" to America through his tariff policies, the numbers tell a different story. Manufacturing payrolls have actually declined by 98,000 jobs, including significant losses in auto and wood manufacturing, the very sectors his trade barriers were designed to protect.

Even supporters of the president's protectionist approach acknowledge the shortfall. "The effort is there, the action is there, but is it actually accomplishing the goal they set out to do?" said Nick Iacovella of the pro-tariff Coalition for a Prosperous America, talking to Politico. "I think in that respect there is still a lot of work left to do."

Critics are less forgiving. "There's no evidence that tariffs have had any positive impact on the economy," said Martha Gimbel, executive director of Yale's Budget Lab, talking to the same outlet.

The steel industry stands as a notable exception, with imports down 12.6% and jobs increasing. Brandon Farris of the Steel Manufacturers Association called the tariffs a "game changer."

However, ongoing policy uncertainty continues hampering broader investment. "The biggest reason companies aren't reshoring today is due to uncertainty around policy," explained Morgan Stanley's $MS ( ▲ 0.8% ) Chris Snyder.

United Autoworkers President Shawn Fain summed up labor's frustration: "We expect results. And after a year of big talk on trade from the president, we've still got plant closures ripping through our membership," he said.

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Should you check your 401(k) today?

👎️

‘Faid not, old chum. ‘Fraid not.

Poll of the day: It’s world-famous-5-7-5™ time

Poll of the day: You’re not buying it…

We asked: Do you think $249 a month for WeGovy is a good deal?

You answered:

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Sign me up! Stick me with the needle! I wanna get THIN! (28)
🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ It's still too expensive, but if they could bring it to $100 a month I'd do it. (107)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 WeGovy is a medical product designed to treat diabetes, not a consumer choice. I'm shocked you'd even suggest I'd opt to use this just to look skinnier on the beach. Any body is a beach body, baby. Cripes. (215)
350 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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Stocks continue their rally on hopes of swift end to Iran war

Matt Davis — Thu, 02 Apr 2026 10:30:00 +0000

This week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ is about how the oil market chaos might accelerate the shift to electric cars. Send me your entry — to haiku at cheddar dot com — by noon ET today, for consideration by your Cheddar peers.

And now for some news you really N2K!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

Stocks continue their rally on hopes of swift end …
Novo Nordisk launches Wegovy subscription plans to …
Delta opts for Bezos, not Musk, to deliver ✈️ WiFi
Warren Buffet revives charity lunch, teams up with …
Spice firm McCormick will buy Unilever's Food busi …

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$NVO ( ▼ 1.0% )$ROHI ( 0.0% ) $WW ( ▲ 2.91% ) $LFMD ( ▲ 3.81% ) $HIMS ( ▲ 6.78% ) $LIY ( ▼ 0.28% ) $DAL ( ▲ 2.62% ) $AMZN ( ▲ 0.34% ) $UAL ( ▲ 7.12% ) $LUV ( ▲ 5.1% ) $ALK ( ▲ 10.33% ) $BRK.A ( ▼ 0.16% ) $MKC ( ▲ 1.99% ) $UL ( ▲ 2.18% ) $BCS ( ▲ 3.4% )

Stocks continue their rally on hopes of swift end to Iran war

(Google Nano Banana Pro)

Global markets roared higher again yesterday as investors seized on hopes that the devastating Iran war could soon reach a conclusion, though conflicting signals continue to inject uncertainty into an already volatile situation.

The S&P 500 $SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) climbed further after a 3% rise on Tuesday, building on its best single-day performance since last spring. European and Asian markets posted even more dramatic gains, with South Korea surging an impressive 8.4%.

Oil prices retreated toward $100 per barrel after President Donald Trump claimed on social media that Iran "has just asked the United States of America for a CEASEFIRE!" Trump added provocatively, "We will consider when Hormuz Strait is open, free, and clear. Until then, we are blasting Iran into oblivion."

However, Iran's Foreign Ministry spokesman Esmail Baghaei quickly dismissed Trump's assertion as "false and baseless."

Despite the market optimism, analysts urge caution. Thomas Mathews, head of markets for Asia Pacific at Capital Economics, told the Associated Press, "De-escalation hopes have given markets a lift, but we think the effects of the war would, in many cases, persist even if the war did end soon."

U.K. Prime Minister Keir Starmer will host talks this week between 35 countries aimed at forming a coalition to reopen the Strait of Hormuz, after signaling that Britain will pivot towards the EU after weeks of taunts from President Trump over the U.K.’s stance on the war in Iran.

Novo Nordisk launches Wegovy subscription plans to lower costs

(Getty Images)

Novo Nordisk $NVO ( ▼ 1.0% ) is shaking up the weight-loss drug market with a new subscription-based pricing model for its popular Wegovy treatments, aiming to make the medications more accessible and affordable for American consumers.

The Danish pharmaceutical giant announced Tuesday that eligible patients who self-pay can now choose between three-, six-, or 12-month subscription plans for both the Wegovy injection and the two highest doses of its new pill formulation.

"The program is designed to reduce cost uncertainty and help people start and stay on FDA-approved obesity treatment," Novo Nordisk said in its announcement.

The savings are substantial. Wegovy injections start at $329 monthly for the three-month plan, lowering to $299 for six months, and dropping to $249 a month under the annual subscription — representing up to $1,200 in yearly savings. The pill version ranges from $289 to $249 monthly, offering up to $600 in annual savings.

Patients can currently access the program through telehealth platforms Ro $ROHI ( 0.0% ) , WeightWatchers $WW ( ▲ 2.91% ) , and LifeMD $LFMD ( ▲ 3.81% ) , with Hims & Hers $HIMS ( ▲ 6.78% ) and Sesame joining soon.

The move comes as Novo Nordisk faces fierce competition from Eli Lilly's $LIY ( ▼ 0.28% ) Zepbound, priced between $299 and $449, plus ongoing pressure from compounding pharmacies selling copycat versions. The company has also announced plans to slash list prices for Wegovy and Ozempic starting next year.

Song of the Day: Kevian Kraemer, ‘Down Under’

This song paints a vivid picture of suburban youth — fake IDs and lying to parents —only to crash those memories into the cold reality of a relationship hitting its expiration date. What a beauty.

Delta opts for Bezos, not Musk, to deliver ✈️ WiFi

(Getty Images)

Delta Air Lines $DAL ( ▲ 2.62% ) is betting big on Amazon's $AMZN ( ▲ 0.34% ) satellite internet service, announcing a deal to bring dramatically faster Wi-Fi to 500 aircraft starting in 2028. The partnership marks Amazon's most significant victory yet in the increasingly competitive race to connect passengers at 35,000 feet.

The airline expects Amazon's Leo satellite system to deliver speeds three to five times faster than current offerings — a game-changer for travelers accustomed to sluggish in-flight connectivity.

"In order to stay the leader, you need to continue to move where the technology is going. We've been thinking about what's next," Delta CEO Ed Bastian said in an interview with the Wall Street Journal.

The deal intensifies Amazon's rivalry with SpaceX's Starlink, which has already secured contracts with Southwest Airlines $LUV ( ▲ 5.1% ) and Alaska Air Group $ALK ( ▲ 10.33% ) . While Starlink boasts approximately 10,100 satellites in orbit compared to Amazon's 200, both companies are expanding rapidly.

Amazon CEO Andy Jassy expressed confidence in meeting Delta's needs: "We're very confident we're going to have the capacity to serve Delta and other customers. This is a very important long-term investment we're making."

Beyond connectivity, the partnership will leverage Amazon Web Services to deliver personalized content on seat-back screens, signaling a broader vision for the in-flight experience.

Warren Buffet revives charity lunch, teams up with Steph Curry

Recently retired investor Warren Buffett is bringing back one of philanthropy's most celebrated traditions and adding the world’s highest-paid basketball player to the mix. The 95-year-old Berkshire Hathaway $BRK.A ( ▼ 0.16% ) chairman announced he'll be joined by four-time NBA champion Stephen Curry and entrepreneur Ayesha Curry for a charity lunch auction, blending Wall Street wisdom with celebrity appeal.

"Over the years, I've seen how the business community and innovative nonprofits can work together to create real change," Buffett said in a statement. "This event is about coming together again — in a new way — with people I admire, to support work that truly matters. Partnering with Stephen and Ayesha to help launch something new in support of these communities is something I'm very happy to be part of."

Online bidding opens May 7 on eBay, with proceeds split between the Glide Foundation (a church in San Francisco with a heavy emphasis on its missional work) and the Currys' Eat. Learn. Play. Foundation.

I wish to God they hadn’t punctuated it like that, but there we go. It’s focused on transforming the educational experience for young people in Oakland, where the Golden State Warriors used to play before their ownership team moved them across the bay to San Francisco.

The winning bidder and up to seven guests will dine with Buffett and the Currys in Omaha on June 24. Buffett's previous charity lunches raised over $50 million, including a record $19 million winning bid in 2022.

Watch more

Quote of the Day

Spice firm McCormick will buy Unilever's Food business for $45 billion

(Getty Images)

Maryland-based spice company $MKC ( ▲ 1.99% ) will pay $15.7 billion in cash for Unilever’s $UL ( ▲ 2.18% ) food business, with Unilever shareholders receiving 55.1% ownership of the combined company. The deal brings iconic brands like Hellmann's mayonnaise, Marmite, and Knorr seasonings under McCormick's umbrella, complementing its existing portfolio of Frank's RedHot, Cholula, and French's products.

"This is a combination of two companies already with the support and the discipline and the knowledge of running the business, coming together to execute this integration," McCormick CEO Brendan Foley said on an investor call Tuesday.

Foley later revealed that McCormick had been contemplating this acquisition "for a number of years."

For Unilever, the divestiture allows the company to concentrate on its faster-growing personal-care segment, following December's spinoff of its ice cream business.

However, investors showed caution, with McCormick shares falling 6% and Unilever dropping 4%. Barclays $BCS ( ▲ 3.4% ) analyst Andrew Lazar noted the "significant strategic merit" but warned that "execution risk" could "dampen initial investor enthusiasm."

The deal is expected to close in mid-2027, pending regulatory approval.

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Stocks, bonds, gold, and crypto are all falling at the same time. One market just grew 23.1% last year. Here’s how you can invest.

Here's the paradox no one's talking about: the Iran war should be sending investors into safe havens. But they’re selling instead.

Oil doubled since February 28. Historically, that’s helped drive inflation. Inflation drives rate hike expectations (now at 45%, up from 11%).

And higher rates have their impact on everything, gold included.

Still floating at record highs, it’s down 18.6% from its peak. In the middle of a war.

"Whether it's stocks, bonds, or gold, they're all falling," a Bank of East Asia strategist told CNBC this week.

But the art market seems to be in a growth trajectory.

U.S. auction sales rose 23.1% in 2025, and the $1mm-$5mm segment grew 40.8% in value.

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Should you check your 401(k) today?

👍️

Yes. It should be up another percent today, bringing it to just about 3% off where it was in February.

Poll of the day: 💉💰

Poll of the day: Department of grift?

We asked: Do you think it’s a bit fishy that Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s broker at Morgan Stanley reached out to BlackRock in February about dropping a "multimillion-dollar investment" into the Defense Industrials Active ETF?

You answered:

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ I'm sure the claim is entirely fabricated, as his spokesman said. (56)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 I do think it's a bit fishy, since you asked. (464)

520 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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Stocks soar as Iranian leader signals openness to negotiation

Matt Davis — Wed, 01 Apr 2026 10:30:00 +0000

And now for some news you really N2K!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

Stocks soar as Iranian leader signals openness to …
The 94-year-old casually selling his food empire f …
Head of sexual-wellness business OneTaste sentence …
How BillionToOne's Unity testing system is redefin …
Report: Pete Hegseth’s broker looked to buy defens …

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$CMG ( ▲ 2.14% ) $SYY ( ▲ 3.0% ) $MS ( ▲ 0.8% ) $BLK ( ▲ 2.65% ) $RTX ( ▲ 0.29% ) $LMT ( ▼ 2.52% ) $NOC ( ▼ 1.12% ) $PLTR ( ▲ 2.54% )

Stocks soar as Iranian leader signals openness to negotiations

Google Nano Banana Pro

Wall Street erupted in the afternoon yesterday as hopes for peace in the Middle East sent stocks sharply higher. The Dow Jones Industrial Average $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) surged roughly 1,000 points, climbing 2.35%, the S&P 500 $SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) jumped 2.80%, and the tech-heavy Nasdaq Composite $NDAQ ( ▼ 0.29% ) led the charge with a 3.76% gain.

The rally accelerated after Iranian President Masoud Pezeshkian indicated his country may be open to negotiations to end the conflict that has wreaked havoc on global energy markets. In comments reported by Turkish media, Pezeshkian stated that any resolution must "guarantee the security and interests of the Iranian people."

Markets had already been trending upward earlier in the session following reports that President Trump told administration officials he would consider ending the war without requiring a full reopening of the Strait of Hormuz. Trump reinforced this sentiment on Truth Social, declaring, "Iran has been, essentially, decimated. The hard part is done."

Oil prices tumbled on the news. Brent crude futures dropped 3.4% to below $104 per barrel, while West Texas Intermediate fell 2.5% to around $100.30. Despite the pullback, American consumers are still feeling the pain — U.S. gas prices crossed $4 per gallon nationally on Tuesday, according to AAA data.

It’s also worth noting that yesterday’s bump represents less than half the market damage done by the war as a whole over the last month:

Google Nano Banana Pro

The 94-year-old casually selling his food empire for $29 Billion

Nathan Kirsh (Investing in Africa)

Well, isn't this just delightful news to wake up to? While I'm over here clipping coupons and debating whether I can afford guacamole at Chipotle $CMG ( ▲ 2.14% ) , Nathan Kirsh — a sprightly 94-year-old — just sold his Jetro Restaurant Depot side project for a cool $29.1 billion.

The company pioneered the cash-and-carry model, allowing small-restaurant owners and other independent businesses to visit one of its warehouses to pick up food supplies at any time. By cutting out delivery and distribution costs, the company says it can offer more affordable prices.

The sale to food-distributor Sysco $SYY ( ▲ 3.0% ) caps an unlikely career for the low-profile Kirsh and his food business. He looked at a Brooklyn warehouse in 1976 and thought, "You know what? I'll just revolutionize how restaurants get their supplies."

Meanwhile, I looked at my closet yesterday and had a hard time deciding which pants to wear. Seriously, it’s these spring days. They start cool but warm up later. Do you gamble, or go for broke? It’s taxing!

He told a gathering of business leaders in 2011: "We literally have no competition."

He's also got a London skyscraper, invested in Australian real estate, and has been quietly funding businesses in the country of Eswatini. His net worth? A modest $7.3 billion — before this sale. So congratulations, Mr. Kirsh. May we all learn something from your efforts.

Song of the Day: Avalon Emerson, ‘Happy Birthday’

Avalon Emerson is a queen of the Berlin club scene, as we all know. However, she’s traded the DJ booth for a career as a frontwoman on this track, which delivers pure indie electronica magic.

Head of sexual-wellness business OneTaste sentenced to nine years in prison

Instagram post

Nicole Daedone, founder of sexual-wellness company OneTaste, was sentenced Monday to nine years in federal prison for conspiracy to commit forced labor, a scheme prosecutors say spanned more than a decade.

U.S. District Judge Diane Gujarati handed down the sentence, which includes $12 million in forfeiture and nearly $900,000 in restitution. The judge dismissed any notion that Daedone's actions served a higher purpose. "What she was doing was not about enlightenment or operating in a different dimension," Gujarati said.

Prosecutors had sought 20 years, arguing the damage was profound. "It destroyed livelihoods, corrupted trust and weaponized intimacy," they wrote in their sentencing memo.

Victim Michal Neria addressed the court directly: "I fell into Nicole's trap," she said, describing how promises of healing left her "depressed, sexually traumatized, and in debt."

Daedone, appearing in tan jail garb and leg shackles, declined to speak when offered the opportunity. "No, thank you," she said, appearing serene throughout while occasionally grinning at supporters.

Her lawyer, Jennifer Bonjean, argued victims "had the unfettered ability to leave the community at any time" and confirmed plans to appeal.

Despite the conviction, OneTaste still operates, and Ms. Daedone maintains an Instagram account, from which the above is a recent post. CEO Anjuli Ayer remained steadfast outside the courthouse: "Nicole and the practice of orgasmic meditation saved my life,” she said.

How BillionToOne's Unity testing system is redefining prenatal genetic screening

The landscape of prenatal genetic testing is experiencing a transformation, giving expectant parents unprecedented insight into their baby’s health. According to Jen Hoskovec at BillionToOne, the company’s “Unity” platform leverages a powerful tool called quantitative counting templates. Jen explained that this technology “allows us to very precisely measure very small changes in what we call cell-free DNA”.

Before Unity, screening for inherited conditions like cystic fibrosis or sickle cell disease required testing both the pregnant patient and the reproductive partner. Unity eliminates this roadblock. “We’re able to screen the pregnant patient, and, if we identify that she carries one of these genetic conditions, we can automatically from the same blood sample screen the fetus,” Jen said.

Unity recently expanded screening to include inherited conditions like spinal muscular atrophy and Tay-Sachs disease, capabilities that “were not available here in the United States prior to the Unity launch in 2019.” This makes complex genetic testing simple and more accessible, fundamentally changing the prenatal experience.

Watch the interview

Quote of the Day

Report: Pete Hegseth’s broker looked to buy defense fund before Iran attack

Colin Jost as Pete Hegseth (Youtube/SNL)

Well, isn't this a remarkable coincidence?

According to the Financial Times, Pete Hegseth's broker at Morgan Stanley $MS ( ▲ 0.8% ) reached out to BlackRock $BLK ( ▲ 2.65% ) in February about dropping a "multimillion-dollar investment" into the Defense Industrials Active ETF — a fund literally designed to profit from "increased government spending on defense and security amid geopolitical fragmentation."

Wouldn't you know it — this inquiry came just weeks before Hegseth, the actual Defense Secretary, helped orchestrate a military attack on Iran. The fund's top holdings? RTX $RTX ( ▲ 0.29% ) , Lockheed Martin $LMT ( ▼ 2.52% ) , Northrop Grumman $NOC ( ▼ 1.12% ) , and Palantir $PLTR ( ▲ 2.54% ) . You know, the companies whose biggest customer happens to be Hegseth's own department.

Don't worry, folks. Pentagon spokesperson Sean Parnell assures us on X that this allegation is "entirely false and fabricated."

Twitter tweet

Case closed!

The investment didn't even go through; apparently the fund wasn't available on Morgan Stanley's platform yet. Really, we should be thanking bureaucratic inefficiency for preventing what would surely have been a totally innocent, completely unrelated financial decision.

Meanwhile, Wall Street analysts are increasingly scrutinizing trades made suspiciously close to Trump administration decisions.

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Should you check your 401(k) today?

👍️

Yes. It should be about half way between where it was in February and where it was yesterday.

Poll of the day: Department of… er…

Poll of the day: Je Ne Regrette Rien

We asked: “Was the CEO of Air Canada right to quit over his condolence message?”

You answered:

🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨 Oui (274)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Non (287)
561 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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Air Canada's CEO to retire after not-speaking-French faux pas

Matt Davis — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 10:30:00 +0000

Happy Tuesday {{ first_name | N2K reader }}!

And now for some news you really N2K!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

Air Canada CEO to retire over failure-to-speak-Fre …
Schools are leading an increasing tech backlash
Inside OpenAI’s decision to axe its much-hyped vid …
The 'I'm not paranoid; you're sketchy' app
Will private credit cause the next big crash?

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$AC.TSX ( ▲ 1.5% ) $GOOGL ( ▲ 1.68% ) OpenAI $BX ( ▲ 0.74% )

Air Canada CEO to retire over failure-to-speak-French faux pas

Michael Rousseau (Air Canada)

In what can only be described as a masterclass in how not to handle a crisis, Air Canada CEO Michael Rousseau announced his retirement Monday following a spectacularly tone-deaf response to the fatal crash at LaGuardia Airport.

Au revoir, old friend.

After an Air Canada Express flight collided with a fire truck on March 22 — killing both pilots, including Quebec native Antoine Forest — Rousseau released a condolence video almost entirely in English. His French contribution? A cheerful "bonjour" and "merci."

The backlash was swift and unanimous. Quebec lawmakers voted to demand his resignation, and Prime Minister Mark Carney declared himself "very disappointed," the Canadian equivalent of a verbal takedown.

Montreal Mayor Soraya Martinez Ferrada didn't mince words: "He has a responsibility to respect the people and our Francophone community. He didn't do that, and I think he lost the respect of our Francophone community," she told the New York Times.

Air Canada has helpfully noted that French fluency will be a priority for his successor.

Song of the Day: Death Cab for Cutie, ‘Riptides’

"Riptides" by Death Cab for Cutie is an upbeat yet moody, slow-burn lead single from their upcoming album “I Built You a Tower,” which explores feelings of exhaustion and personal struggles amidst global turmoil. It’ll be familiar to readers of this newsletter.

Schools are leading an increasing tech backlash

Giphy.com

Turns out giving every 12-year-old an unlimited portal to YouTube and video games wasn't the educational revolution we were promised.

After spending tens of billions of dollars putting Chromebooks $GOOGL ( ▲ 1.68% ) in children's hands, schools across America are experiencing what can only be called "buyer's remorse." Studies now show these digital tools haven't improved academic results or graduation rates.

McPherson Middle School in Kansas is leading the charge back to sanity. Principal Inge Esping, Kansas' 2025 middle school principal of the year, collected all 480 student Chromebooks in December after years of battling video game addictions and Gmail bullying.

"This technology can be a tool. It is not the answer to education," Ms. Esping told the New York Times. The results? Students are actually talking to each other. Thirteen-year-old Sarah Garcia noted, "Since we don't have our Chromebooks in front of our face, most people now interact with their, like, peers and stuff."

Even California Governor Gavin Newsom admitted his son watched manosphere podcasters on his school Chromebook. "It was YouTube. It was the Chromebook and all these algorithms,” he said.

The pencil deserved more credit all along.

Inside OpenAI’s decision to axe its much-hyped video app, Sora

Getty Images

Nothing says "strategic vision" quite like burning billions on an app that lets users make Martin Luther King Jr. announce new Fortnite seasons. Sora was supposed to be OpenAI’s next revolutionary tool, piggybacking off of ChatGPT to let anyone create videos of themselves lightsaber-fighting Darth Vader.

Disney's $DIS ( ▲ 2.3% ) Bob Iger was so enchanted he pledged $1 billion and offered up Mickey Mouse for the AI treatment. Then Sam Altman unceremoniously pulled the plug, leaving Disney executives blindsided with less than an hour's notice.

The problem? Sora was hemorrhaging money and devouring precious AI chips faster than users could generate "woolly mammoths in snowstorms." Usage peaked at a million users before cratering to half that, while the app produced what critics called "AI slop" rather than "AI magic."

An OpenAI spokeswoman told the Wall Street Journal the company is "ruthlessly giving priority to its computing resources" — corporate speak for "we finally did the math."

Perhaps most telling: OpenAI retained key talent by throwing money at them during Meta's poaching attempts, then handed them a project destined for the digital graveyard. Altman framed the shutdown as making "difficult trade-offs." Disney, left holding nothing, offered diplomatic praise for "what we learned from it."

Expensive lessons all around.

The 'I'm not paranoid; you're sketchy' app

Bond

Ever felt like the five-minute walk to your car is actually a gauntlet through a horror movie? Enter Bond, the app that puts a personal security agent in your pocket so you don't have to awkwardly pretend to be on a call with your imaginary, muscular significant other.

CEO Doran Kempel explains that for people like "Lisa," who finds herself two cars away from a "wrong person," the two-second closing time makes 911 useless. "Starts with a peace of mind situation. It's too early to dial 911...it's gonna be too late to dial 911," Kempel said. Basically, Bond is for that sweet spot between "I'm fine" and "I'm being kidnapped."

The best part? You can summon a human witness to stare at people for you over the phone. "You have an agent up there, basically as soon as you press that button." Kempel says agents will even politely tell creeps, "Sir...the lady or the gentleman feel uncomfortable." It's the ultimate "Can you not?" delivered with professional backup. A way to handle the world without actually having to engage in confrontation.

Of course, there are some assailants, I fear, who might not give a damn that you’ve got a witness to their misbehavior. I’m sure Bond has figured out a fix for those, too.

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Will private credit cause the next big crash?

Getty Images

When Wall Street starts marketing complex debt instruments to retired doctors in Provence, what could possibly go wrong? In the annals of financial genius, few moments shine brighter than trillion-dollar behemoth Blackstone $BX ( ▲ 0.74% ) mailing brochures to 77-year-old retirees offering them a piece of the private credit action.

As Mathieu Chabran of Tikehau Capital told the Financial Times after his father received such an invitation: "Obviously, there is a difference between my father and an Asian sovereign wealth fund in how they underwrite an investment."

Here's the problem: Private capital firms have amassed $22 trillion in assets, largely outside banking regulators' purview, by financing corporate buyouts at sky-high valuations with mountains of debt. Now those deals can't be sold, the loans backing them are souring, and the funds are burning through cash faster than investors can flee. Over $200 billion came from ordinary wealthy individuals who were promised easy redemptions but are now being "gated," or locked in while their investments crater.

"There was too much money, everyone got greedy, and they killed the golden goose," summarizes wealth manager Patrick Dwyer, who's advising clients to run for the exits.

However, industry titan Michael Arrougheti insists "there's nothing flashing anything other than green right now," and former Bear Stearns CEO Alan Schwartz (yes, that Bear Stearns) reassures us the problems aren't "as deep and systemic" as they were back 2008.

So I guess we can all sleep tight in our beds, then, yeah?

Should you check your 401(k) today?

👎️

Nope.

Poll of the day: Au revoir? Or Depeche Mode?

Poll of the day: Electric cars are still a ‘no’

We asked: “Are you more likely to consider an electric vehicle today than you were a month ago?”

You answered:

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 No. I’m waiting for an EV that runs on pure spite and the sound of falling stock prices. (226)
🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ Absolutely. I want a vehicle that’s as quiet as my portfolio's growth potential this week. (125)
🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️ Maybe. If the power goes out, can I charge it with a treadmill and a very motivated hamster? (149)
🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Yes! If civilization ends, I’d rather listen to my apocalypse playlist in a silent, leather-wrapped cabin. (86)

586 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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N2K is the tip of of the cheeseberg for financial news, interviews, and more.

Find Cheddar Here!

Need2Know is covered by Cheddar’s Terms of Service

Judge overturns Pentagon's 'arbitrary and capricious' treatment of Anthropic

Matt Davis — Mon, 30 Mar 2026 10:30:00 +0000

Happy Monday {{ first_name | N2K reader }}!

Joan “Who Else?” Benson won last week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ with this beauty about JP Morgan keeping track of its bankers’ working hours:

We are not spying on you!
Your wellbeing is our goal.
Big Brother will help.
~Joan Benson

Congratulations, Joan! Here’s your celebratory gif:

Morgan Freeman (Giphy)

And here’s how Joan’s entry stacked up against the competition:

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 We are not spying on you! Your wellbeing is our goal. Big Brother will help. ~Joan Benson (144)
🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ “The Man” counts your “clicks”, To ensure work-life balance. Now pack up your things. ~Thomas Slawik (92)
🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ I wrote this haiku, while being paid to do work. (No AI was used.) ~Thomas Davidson (66)
🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ What the hell, Wall Street! To not work yourself to death, you must be spied on?~Margaret Lea (57)
🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️ First step is keystrokes, Next step will be brain implants. We're always watching. ~Sam Sigelakis-Minski (103)
462 Votes via @beehiiv polls

And now for some news you really N2K!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

Judge overturns Pentagon's "arbitrary and capricio …
Oil market chaos might accelerate the shift to ele …
The new Disney CEO’s horrible first week
Investors lose patience with the Iran war
Powerful house Republican joins retirement wave

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$ANTHROPIC ( 0.0% ) $DIS ( ▲ 2.3% ) $LI ( ▼ 0.7% ) $BYD ( ▲ 2.66% ) $NIO ( ▼ 0.58% ) $CALB ( ▲ 0.89% ) $EVEP ( 0.0% ) $SINX ( ▲ 0.18% ) $GELYY ( ▲ 2.31% ) $STLA ( ▲ 5.77% ) $TM ( ▲ 2.04% ) $RNLSY ( ▲ 4.07% ) $VLKAY ( ▼ 0.99% ) $NSANY ( ▲ 2.17% ) $F ( ▲ 3.46% ) $HMC ( ▲ 2.63% ) $GM ( ▲ 4.19% ) $HYMTF ( ▼ 7.44% ) $BMWYY ( 0.0% )

Judge overturns Pentagon's "arbitrary and capricious" treatment of Anthropic

The Pentagon (Getty Images)

In what must be the least surprising legal finding of the decade, a federal judge has ruled that the Pentagon's treatment of AI company Anthropic was "likely both contrary to law and arbitrary and capricious."

Judge Rita Lin of the Northern District of California blocked the administration's attempt to designate Anthropic — an American company — as a "supply-chain risk," a label previously reserved for actual foreign adversaries.

"Nothing in the governing statute supports the Orwellian notion that an American company may be branded a potential adversary and saboteur of the U.S. for expressing disagreement with the government," Lin wrote.

Defense Under Secretary Emil Michael called the decision "a disgrace," posting on X about the ruling's "dozens of factual errors."

The administration has seven days to appeal, which it’s likely to. Anthropic, meanwhile, remains grateful the courts "moved swiftly."

Song of the Day: Joshua Burnside, ‘It’s Not Going to Be Okay’

"It's Not Going to Be Okay" is a raw, stripped-back meditation on grief, specifically written in response to the death of Mr. Burnside’s close friend and fellow musician, Dean Jendoubi. He’s certainly turned lemons into lemonade with this song, though…

Oil market chaos might accelerate the shift to electric cars

(Nano Banana Pro)

There's a certain poetic irony unfolding in the global car market right now. President Donald Trump has spent considerable energy — executive orders, eliminated tax credits, pro-fossil fuel rhetoric — trying to resuscitate America's love affair with the combustion engine. For a moment, it seemed to be working. U.S. EV sales dropped to just 5.8% last month, down from 7.7% a year ago.

Then came the Middle East war and its accompanying oil price surge.

As Simon Mundy at the Financial Times astutely observes, the very conflict the administration helped ignite may now accelerate the global transition to electric vehicles. Auto dealers and online platforms are already reporting "signs of spiking consumer interest in EVs as fuel prices surge,” he writes.

Meanwhile, the electric revolution marches on. EU electric car sales hit 17.4% last year, China's sales at 28%. At current growth rates, combustion engines could virtually disappear from new car sales in major markets within a decade.

The real winners? Chinese EV and battery makers, whose share prices have surged since the war began while traditional automakers hemorrhage value. The average upside for Chinese EV and battery makers: +15.63%. The average downside for fossil-fuel carmakers: -10.36% (see the chart above).

It’s like rai-ee-aiiiiiiin on your wedd-ing day. It’s a free riiiiiiiiide, when you’ve already paid. 🎶

The new Disney CEO’s horrible first week

Josh D’Amaro: Still has terrible taste in jeans (Getty Images)

If you ever feel like you're having a bad week at work, spare a thought for Josh D'Amaro, Disney's brand-new CEO.

Day One: Wednesday. The corner office probably still smelled like fresh paint.

Day Two: A video surfaces of your Bachelorette star hurling metal chairs at her partner. There goes $60 million and an entire season. Welcome to showbiz, Josh!

Day Six: OpenAI casually announces it's killing Sora and that landmark $1-billion AI deal everyone celebrated three months ago. "We know this news is disappointing," the company posted on X, with all the warmth of a parking ticket.

Same day: Epic Games axes 1,000 employees because Fortnite, the platform Disney bet $1.5 billion on for its interactive character universe, is losing its magic.

A former Disney executive offered this cheerful assessment: "They were just chasing trends. I don't think anyone in that company has a clear understanding of how to use Disney's strengths in an AI world."

The Sora deal? No money even changed hands. Some Hollywood insiders compared it to "negotiating with terrorists."

As analyst Rich Greenfield told the Financial Times, AI threatens Disney's entire value proposition: "As content creation becomes cheaper, faster, and more abundant, scarcity of IP gives way to a flood."

Here’s the share price since Josh took over:

(Nano Banana Pro)

So, Josh, are you ready for week two?

Investors lose patience with the Iran war

(Nano Banana Pro)

Four weeks into an actual shooting war in Iran, and Wall Street has finally started to suspect this might not blow over by earnings season. For most of the conflict, investors maintained their trademark optimism, the same sunny disposition that treats every global catastrophe as a buying opportunity. Sure, a major oil chokepoint is blocked, but have you considered the fundamentals?

But something's…shifted. The S&P 500 is heading for its worst weekly losing streak in four years. The Nasdaq has tumbled into correction territory. Oil is at $110 a barrel. Mortgage rates are spiking. Treasury yields are making moves not seen since 2022.

And yet — and yet — the market is only 6% off its January highs because this is still, in the words of one investment manager, "a FOMO market." Can't let a little regional conflagration make you miss the recovery!

Trading desks are calling it "death by a thousand cuts." Markets whip around 1.3% daily on every headline, only to end up basically flat.

Iran turned back three container ships? Sell! Trump extended a deadline? Buy!

Repeat forever.

As one analyst told the New York Times: "It's very difficult to predict where markets will—"

Ah, enough already. I made a delicious cheesecake this weekend. Wanna hear about it?

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Powerful house Republican joins retirement wave

Congressman Sam Graves (Courtesy of his congressional website)

Sam Graves, 13-term congressman from Missouri, has decided that now is the perfect time to pursue his dream of becoming a lobbyist. The 62-year-old Transportation Committee chairman insists his departure has absolutely nothing to do with the "rough and tumble state of Congress" or any electoral concerns. He just happened to wake up this week — 18 months before the midterms — and realize he'd rather "help business steer its way through the legislative process."

K Street also pays a lot better than getting elected, and you don't have to knock on quite so many doors. Graves joins more than 50 House members heading for the exits, officially setting a record for midterm retirements.

Graves won his district with 70% last cycle. So why leave? Republicans will tell you it's about term limits on committee chairs, or "new chapters," or the siren call of private-sector compensation.

However, President Trump suffered a stinging political setback last week as Democrat Emily Gregory captured the Florida State House seat that includes his Mar-a-Lago resort, in a 21% swing from 2024. If the rest of the country flips by a similar margin in November, Republicans could face the worst mid-term results in a century, pollsters say.

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Spooks: Russia sending drones to Iran

Matt Davis — Fri, 27 Mar 2026 10:30:00 +0000

Happy Friday {{ first_name | N2K reader }}!

Vote for the winner of this week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ in today’s poll!

And now for some news you really N2K!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

Spooks: Russia sending drones to Iran
Iran rejects U.S. peace plan and suggests its own
Wall street is nervous about local opposition to A …
Report: Inflation could surge to 4.2% over Iran
OpenAI indefinitely pauses erotic chatbot plans

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$NVDA ( ▲ 1.68% ) $OPENAI ( 0.0% )

Spooks: Russia sending drones to Iran

Vladimir Putin (Kremlin Pool Photo via AP)

Well, here's a shocker: Russia might not be telling the whole truth. I know, I know — take a moment to collect yourself.

According to western intelligence reports reported in the Financial Times (and the rumor is that the FT might even have the odd secret agent on-staff like half of Fleet Street aside from your big-mouthed Chedditor, who would obvs make a terrible spy), Moscow is sending shipments of drones, medicine, and food to Iran. But don't worry! Kremlin spokesperson Dmitry Peskov assures us: "There are a lot of fakes going around right now. One thing is true — we are continuing our dialogue with the Iranian leadership."

Ah yes, dialogue. That famously benign word that definitely never involves discussions about weapons shipments days after your ally gets bombed by the U.S. and Israel. Just two old chums swapping recipes!

Moscow has been very publicly highlighting its humanitarian side, boasting about sending “more than 13 tonnes of medicine" (that’s tonnes with an “ne”, so you know they’re Imperial, btw) to Iran through Azerbaijan. How heartwarming. What they're less chatty about is the satellite imagery, targeting data, intelligence support, and upgraded attack drones. Russia has been producing drones based on Iranian designs since 2023, modifying the “Shahed” drones to evade air defenses and carry heavier payloads. Now they're potentially sending improved versions back. It's the circle of death.

Nicole Grajewski from Sciences Po confirmed: "The Russians dramatically improved the Shaheds, including modifications to the engines, navigation and anti-jamming capabilities. So these systems are already more advanced than the ones Iran was producing domestically."

Russia says "fake news" while simultaneously shipping upgraded weapons to a nation at war with…er…America. Their strategic partnership agreement with Iran last year "fell notably short of committing the sides to the other's mutual defence" — which in practice apparently means "we'll help you kill people, just don't expect us to admit it."

Song of the Day: Alessia Cara, Norah Jones, ‘I’m In Trouble’

This is a soulful, jazz-inflected collaboration between Canadian singer-songwriter Alessia Cara and Ravi Shankar’s kid, Norah Jones. It’s a standout on Cara’s new album, “Love Or Lack Thereof,” which sees her rework her greatest hits into jazz and soul arrangements.

Iran rejects U.S. peace plan and suggests its own

Iran (Majid Saeedi/Getty Images)

The diplomatic ping-pong match from hell continues. Iran flatly rejected America's proposal to pause the devastating Middle East war, instead issuing its own 15-point counterproposal, including the words “go ___ yourself, Donnie!” as point 15.

The U.S. plan, as described by two Pakistani officials, addressed relieving sanctions, rolling back Iran's nuclear program, limiting missiles, and reopening the Strait of Hormuz, through which a fifth of the world's oil flows. Iran's counter? They want a halt to killings of their officials, guarantees against future wars, reparations, and — here's the kicker — Iran's "exercise of sovereignty over the Strait of Hormuz."

Essentially, both sides want the same waterway with very different strings attached.

Meanwhile, President Trump continues insisting that talks are yielding "great progress," while Iran has denied any negotiations were taking place, pledging instead to fight "until complete victory."

The human cost of this diplomatic stalemate is staggering: over 1,500 dead in Iran, more than 1,000 in Lebanon, 16 in Israel, and 13 U.S. military members, plus countless civilians across the Gulf region. Millions have been displaced.

As confusion mounts over a war whose goals were already unclear, one thing remains certain: An awful lot of people have died. Pray with me for a speedy resolution? Amen.

Wall street is nervous about local opposition to AI data centers

AI image of AI data center (Google Nano Banana Pro)

Welcome to the AI revolution, where the only thing louder than a data center’s cooling fan is the sound of Wall Street’s cash registers. While local communities are busy whining about things like water shortages, the five-story windowless monoliths next door — the adults in the room, the ones with sacred Bloomberg terminals — are focused on the only metric that matters: Infinite growth.

Locals like Sarah Jenkins are making a fuss, telling reporters from the New York Times, “The humming never stops. It’s like living inside a giant refrigerator.” Honestly, Sarah, maybe if you bought the dip on Nvidia $NVDA ( ▲ 1.68% ) , that hum would sound like a symphony.

Developer Marcus Thorne told the Times: “We are building the backbone of the global economy.” If that backbone needs to crush a few sleepy suburbs to support a chatbot that generates videos of cats in space, so be it. As one analyst noted, “Community sentiment doesn’t drive quarterly earnings.”

Miriam Cobb volunteered as the campaign manager for a Republican state senate candidate in Texas, who ran on opposing new data centers. Although the candidate lost the primary, Ms. Cobb said resistance to AI data centers is deeply felt in conservative, rural communities across the state.

“This isn’t a ‘save the whales’ kind of thing,” she told the Times. Thank God, because I hate the whales. “This is going to destroy the agricultural landscape of Texas if we keep letting this happen. It’s not a ‘sort of,’ it’s a ‘definite.’”

The pushback is starting to force investors to grapple with the proposition that the hyper-scalers may not be able to reach the lofty goals they have set for themselves. That’s gonna knock my 401(k), fools!

Report: Inflation could surge to 4.2% over Iran

Twitter tweet

Ah, 2024: the year we all marched to the polls with grocery receipts clutched in our fists, demanding someone do something about those pesky prices. 18 months later a coalition of 38 countries called the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development just forecast U.S. inflation hitting 4.2% this year, the highest in the G7.

While we were busy debating egg prices, we apparently forgot to factor in potential Middle East wars into our economic anxieties. As the OECD cheerfully notes, "the resilience of the global economy is now being tested" thanks to attacks on Iran sending oil, gas, fertilizer, and even helium prices through the roof (it’s lighter than air, after all, helium…).

Remember when inflation was dropping to 2.6% and we were almost there? I do. It was [checks notes] last month. Now we're looking at US growth slowing to 2%, the Fed keeping rates frozen, and global GDP gains completely "erased" by the conflict, says the OECD. The organization also warns that "a prolonged period of disruption could result in significant energy shortages that would lower growth further."

Haters gonna hate, I guess?

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OpenAI indefinitely pauses erotic chatbot plans

OpenAI boss Sam Altman (Tomohiro Ohsumi/Getty Images)

OpenAI has officially earned the title of tech industry tease (not that there’s anything wrong with changing your mind, you understand). After months of getting everyone all excited about its new "adult mode" — their spicy chatbot that promised to whisper sweet nothings into a user’s lonely, sad, and perhaps suicidal earbuds — the $730-billion company has decided to leave us all hanging.

Turns out, building an erotic AI comes with some unexpected complications. Training models previously designed to avoid sexual content to suddenly produce explicit material is tricky. Apparently, filtering out datasets containing "illegal behavior such as bestiality or incest" proved challenging.

I cannot imagine the horrors that emerged in testing. OpenAI says it wants "long-term research on the effects of sexually explicit chats," acknowledging there's no "empirical evidence" yet. Translation: Our investors desperately need us to develop revenue streams from selling AI products to businesses and this gets in the way.

The official excuse? They're refocusing on "productivity tools" and killing "side quests” aka abandoning their horny chatbot. As one former employee eloquently put it: "AI shouldn't replace your friends or your family,” or, presumably, your especially close friends.

The news follows the shutdown of their video app, Sora, earlier this week for the same reasons.

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Poll of the day: It’s World-Famous-5-7-5™ time!

Poll of the day: So-ra long, so-ra good…

We asked: Are you sad OpenAI shut down its Sora video generation app?
You answered:

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ I’m absolutely heartbroken that we won’t see more hyper-realistic dogs driving Ferraris. Finally, OpenAI can stop these side quests and focus on the truly vital task of teaching robots laundry. (39)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ My soul is crushed. How will I survive without a daily feed of AI fever dreams? (26)
🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️ Nothing says "innovative tech giant" like killing your buzziest product right before an IPO. (94)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 OpenAI’s talent for burning billions on vaporware is truly unmatched. (132)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ I quite liked Sora, actually. Why you got to hate on it, bro? (15)
306 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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Jury finds Meta, YouTube liable for teen addiction

Matt Davis — Thu, 26 Mar 2026 10:30:00 +0000

Happy Thursday {{ first_name | N2K reader }}!

This week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ is about how JP Morgan is monitoring its junior bankers’ working hours with tech. Send me your entry — to haiku at cheddar dot com — by noon ET today, for consideration by your Cheddar peers.

And now for some news you really N2K!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

Jury finds Meta, YouTube liable for teen addiction
SCOTUS sides with Cox Communications over Sony in …
Why is Open AI shutting down Sora?
Democrat flips Mar-A-Lago seat in upset win
New poll: It’s a bad time to look for a new job

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$META ( ▲ 1.73% ) $GOOGL ( ▲ 1.68% ) $COXCF ( 0.0% ) $SONY ( ▲ 1.12% )

Jury finds Meta, YouTube liable for teen addiction

Image credit: Wally Skalij/Getty Images

A California jury ruled that Meta $META ( ▲ 1.73% ) and YouTube $GOOGL ( ▲ 1.68% ) harmed a young user through addictive app design features, marking a potential turning point for the tech industry.

The jury ordered $3 million in compensatory damages — with Meta responsible for 70% — after finding that features like infinite scroll and algorithmic recommendations led to anxiety and depression in plaintiff “K.G.M.,” now 20 years old. The jury will next consider punitive damages.

Kinda makes me want to sue them, too, come to think of it.

"This is the first time in history a jury has heard testimony by executives and seen internal documents that we believe prove these companies chose profits over children," said Joseph VanZandt, one of K.G.M.'s attorneys.

Legal experts see the verdict as groundbreaking. "This is a breakthrough because it validates a new theory that platform design can be a defective product," noted Kimberly Pallen, a litigation partner at Withers.

Meta stated it "respectfully disagrees with the verdict" and is "evaluating legal options." YouTube did not respond to comment requests. TikTok and Snap settled before trial.

The case echoes the Big Tobacco lawsuits of the 1990s. Clay Calvert of the American Enterprise Institute told the New York Times: "If there are a series of verdicts for plaintiffs, it will force the defendants to reconsider how they design social media platforms."

With thousands more lawsuits pending, it’s quite exciting, really.

Song of the Day: Lizzo, ‘Don’t Make Me Love U’

Here’s a great track from Lizzo’s new album, blending '80s synth-rock and soul with personal themes of growth and boundaries. While critics have praised its anthemic quality and powerful vocals, Lizzo says the song is about trying to get un-cancelled after a few of her dancers sued her for fat-shaming and sexual harassmemt, allegations she vehemently denies. her fickle “relationship with the public.” “Don't build this false sense of security and community if you're just gonna throw me away,” she told Kelly Clarkson recently. “It's so toxic. So tonight, you either love me or leave me, because I'm not wasting my time; no more trying to gain nobody's approval." Especially not those backup dancers.

SCOTUS sides with Cox Communications over Sony in music piracy clash

The Supreme Court. Image Credit: Getty Images

The Supreme Court ruled Wednesday that internet providers cannot be held liable simply for knowing their customers pirate music. The unanimous decision resolves Cox Communications' $COXCF ( 0.0% ) long-running battle with music labels including $SONY ( ▲ 1.12% ) who sued in 2018, seeking over $1 billion in damages. The labels argued Cox should have terminated subscribers repeatedly flagged for illegally downloading copyrighted songs.

Justice Clarence Thomas, writing for the court, established that providers are liable "only if it intended that the provided service be used for infringement" and "actively encourages infringement." Simply providing service "with knowledge that it will be used by some to infringe copyrights" isn't enough.

Cox celebrated the ruling. "This opinion affirms that internet service providers are not copyright police and should not be held liable for the actions of their customers," the company said, calling it a "decisive victory" for Americans who "depend on reliable internet service."

However, Justice Sonia Sotomayor, joined by Justice Jackson, wrote separately with concerns. She warned the decision means companies "no longer face any realistic probability" of liability "regardless of whether they take steps to address infringement on their networks."

The case had alarmed free speech advocates worried about chilling effects if providers faced massive penalties for user behavior — potentially forcing disconnection of hospitals and universities over individual violations.

Twitter tweet

Just two years after dazzling the world with high-quality AI video generation, OpenAI has pulled the plug on Sora. Three months after securing a landmark $1 billion Disney $DIS ( ▲ 2.3% ) deal, the tool is gone. It's all about the money, apparently.

Creating AI-generated video is exponentially more expensive than processing text queries. While OpenAI projects tripling its $13 billion revenue from last year, the company plans to spend over $100 billion in the next four years. Something had to give.

Twitter tweet

"We're saying goodbye to Sora," the team wrote on social media. "What you made with Sora mattered, and we know this news is disappointing."

Evidently it didn’t matter that much, though, eh? The abruptness was striking; OpenAI published a blog post about safely creating Sora content just a day before announcing its closure.

Competition to be profitable in the AI space is heating up. Anthropic's revenue is growing faster thanks to corporate adoption. Google $GOOGL ( ▲ 1.68% ) remains committed to its rival tool, Nano Banana (which your Chedditor loves, for obvious reasons), with deep pockets backing Gemini's rapid advancement. Meta just introduced an ambitious executive compensation plan tied to reaching a $9-trillion market value, betting heavily on AI's future. With a potential IPO looming, OpenAI is prioritizing “resource preservation,” which I thought was an oxymoron in the AI space. Sora joins other discontinued projects like ChatGPT's direct shopping feature nobody used.

Disney, meanwhile, says it will "continue to engage with AI platforms," just not this one, for obvious reasons.

Democrat flips Mar-A-Lago seat in upset win

Twitter tweet

In a result sending shockwaves through both major political parties, Democrat Emily Gregory won the Florida state legislature seat representing Palm Beach — home to President Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate.

Gregory, a small-business owner, defeated Jon Maples, the Republican candidate Trump enthusiastically endorsed just a day before the vote. The district backed Trump by 11 points in 2024, making this flip particularly notable.

What drove the upset? Gregory focused relentlessly on so-called “kitchen-table issues”.

"I focused more on the voters in District 87," Gregory told MS Now. "What all of us will do better with lower property insurance, with expanded healthcare and with strong public schools."

When asked about representing President Trump, she was notably unbothered: "He's one of 115,000 registered voters in District 87,” she said.

The numbers tell a troubling story for Republicans. Trump's approval sits at 41%, with 56% disapproving — his worst deficit so far. Florida gas prices have surged from $2.86 to $3.92 per gallon amid the Iran war.

DNC Chair Ken Martin seized on the moment on X (see above): "If Democrats can win in Trump's backyard, we sure as hell can win anywhere across the country. Onward to November!”

With midterms approaching, Need2Know readers are also motivated to express your opinions at the ballot box, according to this poll we ran on Mar 12. We asked: How motivated are you to vote in the 2026 midterms?

You answered:

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ It's just a midterm. I'm not, like, chomping at the bit, or anything. (89)
🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ I'm motivated. I have strong feelings I'd like to express at the ballot box. (246)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 It would be impossible for me to be more motivated to vote in the 2026 midterms. I'm so motivated I make a drill instructor look like a slacker. Let me vote, gosh darn it! Let me vote already! (612)
947 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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New poll: It’s a bad time to look for a new job

Image credit: Google Nano Banana Pro, based on Gallup data

A striking disconnect has emerged in the U.S. labor market: Unemployment remains low, yet nearly three-quarters of American workers say now is a bad time to find a quality job.

According to a new Gallup survey, just 28% of workers view the job market positively — a dramatic reversal from mid-2022, when 70% felt optimistic. The shift happened fast: as recently as late 2024, nearly half of workers still saw opportunity.

Companies are keeping existing workers but barely hiring new ones. The Labor Department's figures on hiring rates dropped to 3.2% last November — the lowest since March 2013, when unemployment was 7.5%. Today it's much lower, yet finding work feels just as hard. For the first time since early pandemic recovery, more people are unemployed (7.4 million) than jobs available (6.9 million).

College graduates are hurting most. Only 19% think it's a good time to job hunt, compared to 35% of workers without degrees. White-collar hiring in software, advertising, and customer service has been especially weak. Younger workers feel trapped. Just 2 in 10 workers ages 18–34 are optimistic, while older workers (secure in their positions) feel more confident.

The survey was conducted before the Iran war, too. I wonder what it’d be like if they conducted it today.

Should you check your 401(k) today?

👍️

Sure. I mean, markets went up yesterday, but they went down a lot before that. Brace yourself.

Poll of the day: Glorified grift machine?

Poll of the day: Tell me how you really feel…

We asked: “Have you, as an investor, benefited from the Tehran Taco Trade?”

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Sure. I was one of the insiders who placed a bet shorting oil prices just minutes before the president announced talks with Iran. I'll share my email with you, too, and you can send it to the New York Times. (27)
🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ If by "benefited" you mean "got absolutely roasted by," then yes. I've seen my 401k plummet and am yet to see any potential upside from this situation. (120)
🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️ I try not to check my 401(k) during moments like this, and regretfully I've noticed that moments like this seem to be more frequent lately. (182)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Even thinking about this subject makes me want to throw up. (201)
530 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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Computer chip company will sell computer chips

Matt Davis — Wed, 25 Mar 2026 10:30:00 +0000

Happy Wednesday {{ first_name | N2K reader }}!

And now for some news you really N2K!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

Computer chip company will sell computer chips
Real estate agents are people, too, you know…
The "Tehran TACO trade" is giving investors indige …
This company turned poisonous on the campaign trai …
Grads face a brutal job market

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$PLTR ( ▲ 2.54% ) $JPM ( ▲ 0.11% ) $SFTBY ( ▼ 0.87% ) $META ( ▲ 1.73% ) $OPENAI ( 0.0% ) $NVDA ( ▲ 1.68% ) $QCOM ( ▲ 1.29% ) $AMZN ( ▲ 0.34% ) $MSFT ( ▲ 0.6% )

Computer chip company will sell computer chips

After 35 years of selling its egghead chip designs, Arm Holdings, a computer chip company, is finally going to sell actual computer chips again. The British semiconductor giant, owned by Japan's SoftBank $SFTBY ( ▼ 0.87% ) , announced Tuesday it will manufacture and sell its own microprocessor for the first time since its 1990 founding.

The firm’s new chip is aimed at (what else) AI data centers — and Meta $META ( ▲ 1.73% ) and OpenAI $OPENAI ( 0.0% ) have already signed on as early customers.

New Street Research analyst Pierre Ferragu called it "the most significant strategic pivot in the company's history."

Arm pioneered the intellectual property licensing model, collecting royalties from hundreds of companies using its chip architectures. That technology powers nearly every smartphone on earth, but, with AI infrastructure booming, the company is betting it can capture more value by going direct.

Not everyone's thrilled. The move risks alienating licensees like Nvidia $NVDA ( ▲ 1.68% ) , Qualcomm $QCOM ( ▲ 1.29% ) , Amazon $AMZN ( ▲ 0.34% ) , and Microsoft $MSFT ( ▲ 0.6% ) — who now become competitors. Samples are shipping now, with production use expected by year-end.

Song of the Day: Beabadoobee, ‘All I Did Was Dream of You’

Here’s an atmospheric blend of '90s shoegaze, trip-hop, and alt-rock that captures a sense of nostalgic longing. I long for a nice slice of cheese, personally, and it’s only been four minutes since my last one.

Real estate agents are people, too, you know…

Image credit: Shutterstock / Jacob Lund

Behind every property transaction lies a human story, and sometimes those stories are rather nice. Three real-estate agents recently shared the tear-jerker moments that reminded them why they love their work with the Wall Street Journal, proving that selling homes is about far more than square footage and closing costs.

I just pity the poor reporter who had to go digging for human interest stories from these people. It must have taken years.

For Naples agent Lauren Taranto, an unexpected rainstorm turned into serendipity. When she spotted a newlywed couple getting drenched during their beach photoshoot, she invited them into a stunning $12.75 million listing to continue their celebration. "They climbed the staircase and took a few more photos," Taranto recalled. "We just toasted with water in plastic cups. It was informal, but darling and a magic moment."

Then she told them what the house cost, and I assume they broke down in tears.

In California, Joan Lamond helped orchestrate an unforgettable surprise for a family of six. After parents secretly purchased their dream home, Lamond created a scavenger hunt for their four children. When the kids finally decoded the message; "This house was purchased by us!", emotions overflowed. "The moment that stayed with me the most was seeing the oldest son, a teenager, get emotional, with tears streaming down his face," Lamond shared. "There wasn't a dry eye among us."

I just hope that child soon learns that the only appropriate place for emotions is in a tightly-screwed jar buried deep beneath your stiff upper lip.

Meanwhile, New York agent Deanna Lloyd helped a buyer transform a Tribeca condo walkthrough into a surprise proposal, calling it "incredibly rewarding."

I’d marry you, too, if you proposed to me in a Tribeca condo, FYI.

The "Tehran TACO trade" is giving investors indigestion

Image credit: Giphy.com

Markets got a jolt of relief Monday when President Trump announced "very good and productive conversations" with Iran, but investors are keeping their antacids handy.

After a dismal overnight session that saw Dow futures down 400 points, Trump's Truth Social post triggered a stunning reversal, sending the Dow up 1,000 points. The president announced a five-day postponement of strikes on Iranian energy infrastructure, citing progress in talks. Remarkably, traders made bets worth half a billion dollars in the oil market about 15 minutes before Donald Trump’s post.

Then came the plot twist: Iranian television reported no talks had occurred and that Trump had simply "backed down."

Welcome to the TACO trade — "Trump Always Chickens Out" — according to Daniela Hathorn, senior market analyst at Capital. "First, he escalated with his weekend threat to start bombing Iranian civilian energy infrastructure, but then he walked it back with his announcement Monday morning."

The pattern is becoming familiar. As Hathorn explained, "markets are far more sensitive to signs of de-escalation because positioning had already skewed heavily toward downside risk."

Not everyone is buying it. Former J.P. Morgan $JPM ( ▲ 0.11% ) strategist Marko Kolanovic warned that telling investors what they want to hear "could ultimately backfire."

Bob Elliott, CEO of Unlimited Funds, captured the uncertainty perfectly: "Maybe it's a TACO, maybe it's a negotiating tactic, or maybe it's a ruse. No one knows for sure, maybe not even Trump himself. What's a lot clearer is that we are in a structurally higher volatility environment these days."

Ya think?

This company turned poisonous on the campaign trail

The data intelligence giant Palantir has emerged as an unexpected lightning rod in congressional races across America, as Democrats weaponize the company's immigration enforcement work against opponents with any financial ties to the firm.

In Texas's heated 33rd district primary, Democratic challenger Colin Allred is hammering representative Julie Johnson over stock she held in the Peter Thiel-backed company, accusing her of "making thousands from the company ICE uses to track and detain our neighbors."

The attacks are resonating nationwide amid public anger over deportation policies. "For people who care, Palantir is the apogee of state surveillance," one Democratic strategist told the Financial Times. "Voters are frightened of what surveillance can be, and Palantir owns that space."

A campaign group called Purge Palantir has convinced five House members and one senator to publicly refuse further donations from the company. Other lawmakers are quietly divesting; New York's Tom Suozzi sold his shares after his investment made headlines.

Palantir is fighting back, hiring Democratic lobbyists to reshape its image. "There's a massive perception-versus-reality gap with Palantir," said newly hired lobbyist Cristina Antelo, who is literally paid to say that. "Democrats angry with Trump have misplaced that anger at a U.S corporation."

Even Republicans aren't immune — Florida gubernatorial candidate James Fishback has pledged to ban Palantir from state contracts, citing surveillance concerns.

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Grads face a brutal job market

The U.S. Graduate Unemployment rate over the last decade. Image credit: Google’s Nano Banana Pro

"The struggle is real."

That blunt assessment from a university career counselor captures the brutal reality facing this year's college graduates. It's the worst spring for young degree holders since COVID-19 shuttered the economy.

The numbers tell a grim story: Unemployment for college graduates ages 22–27 hit 5.6% at year's end, higher than the overall national rate. More alarming, over 40% of employed young graduates hold jobs that don't require degrees, the highest level since 2020.

Career fairs are emptier. Erin Torres, a Barnard graduate, has applied to nearly 200 jobs and landed just four interviews. She seems to think that’s a low number, which shows how much further she has to go towards the despair most of us face when we dip a toe into the job market these days. Then again, she went to Barnard, where in my experience entitlement comes with the degree certificate.

The search has become so dispiriting she's started (she went to Barnard, remember) therapy. "If I really cannot find anything, I am just going to go haywire," she told the New York Times. Although again, she went to Barnard. I mentioned that, right?

Say, where did my editor go to college? Syd? (Boston University, obviously far, far, far less entitled than my Barnard peers —Ed.)

Is AI to blame? Despite warnings that AI could eliminate half of entry-level white-collar jobs, economists point to simpler culprits: a "low hire, low fire" labor market where companies aren't expanding but aren't cutting either. Job openings have fallen below pre-pandemic levels while layoffs remain low, creating stasis that punishes new entrants.

"Those who need their first jobs are probably disproportionately affected," said Adam Ozimek of the Economic Innovation Group.

Should you check your 401(k) today?

👎️

Shudder. No.

Poll of the day: Tehran Taco Time…

Poll of the day: Fewer AI images, but not none

Hey Google, make an image of me as Picasso, having my creativity squashed by democracy…

Still hot, tho. Image credit: Google Nano Banana Pro

We asked: “AI images on N2K?”

You answered:

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Given that 1,825 AI images a year is the equivalent to 10 loads of washing in a standard washing machine, I can live with the energy use, particularly because they're so witty and give the Chedditor's creativity something to work with. (35)
🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️ I don't think the AI-generated images illustrating stories are funny or engaging enough to use (and 10 loads of washing is a lot of electricity, actually). (192)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Why can't we all just get along? Maybe do a little less of the AI than before but still use it when it feels right? (244)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ What's a "creative?" What's a "photographer"? What is "getting paid"? This is 2026, right? (35)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Meh, I don't really care too much either way. I'm only reading for the cheese puns! (61)
567 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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Wall Street's fear gage drops and stocks rise

Matt Davis — Tue, 24 Mar 2026 10:30:00 +0000

Happy Tuesday {{ first_name | N2K reader }}!

And now for some news you really N2K!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

Wall Street’s fear gage drops and stocks rise
Zuck: Building an AI agent to help him be CEO
How young workers are AI-proofing their careers
OnlyFans owner Leonid Radvinsky dies at 43
LaGuardia reopens after runway collision

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$META ( ▲ 1.73% ) $FNX ( 0.0% )

Wall Street’s fear gage drops and stocks rise

The VIX index since Mar 5 — it’s been on a bit of a wild ride, to put it mildly. Image source: Google’s Nano Banana Pro

Global markets experienced a pleasant turnaround on Monday after President Donald Trump announced a five-day postponement of planned attacks on Iranian energy infrastructure, citing "constructive" talks with Tehran.

Oil prices, which had surged to over $114 per barrel earlier in the session, tumbled sharply. Brent crude fell more than 9% to around $102, while West Texas Intermediate dropped 8% to $90 per barrel. Stock markets followed suit, with the S&P 500 $SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) climbing 1.1% and the Stoxx Europe 600 reversing earlier losses to close 0.6% higher.

The volatility left traders reeling. Mizuho fixed-income strategist Jordan Rochester, described it to the Financial Times as "an awful day for anyone trying to manage risk," adding that "the hardest part is not predicting the war but predicting the communication from the White House and how much markets will react to it."

Despite Iran denying direct negotiations had taken place, some analysts saw reason for cautious optimism. Matthew Amis, investment director at Aberdeen Asset Management, told the FT: "Although this is merely a five-day postponement, we believe today's headlines at least show that de-escalation is possible."

However, Mark Dowding of RBC BlueBay Asset Management warned that "Trump is clearly looking for an off-ramp" but cautioned that Iran's terms for peace may prove difficult for Washington to accept.

Zuck: Building an AI agent to help him be CEO

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg from a 2011 conference about web technologies during the French G8. Image credit: Getty Images

Mark Zuckerberg is putting his company's Metaverse AI vision into practice by developing his own artificial intelligence agent to help him lead Meta Platforms, according to a Wall Street Journal report.

How long before he renames the company Böt-tle-ganger?

The “CEO agent,” still in development (just like Zuck’s personality?) helps Zuckerberg retrieve information faster — bypassing the layers of people he would typically need to consult. It should be handy when he wants to lay off 20% of the company, as has been reported.

Zuckerberg previewed these efforts during the company's January earnings call: "We're investing in AI-native tooling so individuals at Meta can get more done. We're elevating individual contributors and flattening teams," he said. "If we do this, then I think that we're going to get a lot more done and I think it'll be a lot more fun."

AI adoption has become a factor in employee performance reviews, sparking rapid experimentation across the company. Staff now use tools like "My Claw" for personal agent assistance and "Second Brain," described by its creator as "meant to be like an AI chief of staff."

Meta also recently established an AI-focused engineering organization with an ultra-flat structure. "We're designing this org to be AI native from day one," said executive Maher Saba. Which is an odd thing to say because Facebook — I’m sorry, Meta, I’m sorry, whatever it’s going to be called soon™ — is actually 8,083 days old and counting.

How young workers are AI-proofing their careers

An AI data finance assistant on a tablet. Image credit: Getty Images.

With AI reshaping the workforce, young Americans aren't sitting idle but making bold career pivots to stay ahead. A recent Harvard survey reveals that 59% of Americans ages 18–29 view AI as a threat to their job prospects. For many, that fear is driving action.

Take Jackson Curtis, 28, who's trading his insurance desk job for a firefighter's helmet. "Even if they can come up with a way to utilize AI to fight fires, people are always going to want that empathy from an actual human who actually cares during a moment of crisis," Curtis told the Wall Street Journal.

He's not alone. Ryder Paredes, 22, abandoned his computer science degree for trade school after watching AI capabilities explode. "At first I was in denial," Paredes admitted. "But eventually I had to just face it."

Others are leaning into the technology. Vedant Vyas, 21, left college to launch an AI startup, raising over $4 million. "I get to help decide what we build, who it helps and what new kinds of work it creates," he said.

Which of these young men will be happiest in the end, do you think?

OnlyFans owner Leonid Radvinsky dies at 43

Here’s an app I’ve never heard of until just now…Image credit: Getty.

F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote that there are “no second acts in American lives.” And so it is, certainly, for Leonid Radvinsky, the Ukrainian-American entrepreneur who transformed OnlyFans into a site so successful that a candidate for Florida governor has suggested taxing OnlyFans creators 50% to live in the state.

He was 43. Fenix $FNX ( 0.0% ) International, the UK-based company that owns and operates OnlyFans, confirmed Monday that Radvinsky passed away peacefully after a long battle with cancer.

"We are deeply saddened to announce the death of Leo Radvinsky," the company stated. "His family have requested privacy at this difficult time."

Radvinsky's vision revolutionized the adult entertainment industry by giving creators direct access to their audiences. The platform's model — taking just 20% while creators keep 80% — proved irresistible to performers seeking to monetize their work independently. Since 2016, OnlyFans has paid out more than $25 billion to creators.

The reclusive Florida-based entrepreneur acquired the platform in 2018 from British founders Guy and Tim Stokely. Under his leadership, the company flourished, generating $7.2 billion from users last year alone. Radvinsky himself received a record $701 million dividend in 2024 — one of the largest ever issued by a UK private company.

Born in Odesa, Ukraine, Radvinsky immigrated to America as a child and studied economics at Northwestern University before building his tech portfolio.

Song of the Day: Cameron Whitcomb, ‘You and Me.’

Here’s a heartfelt, folk-leaning country ballad featuring powerful vocals and a romantic, escapist theme.

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LaGuardia reopens after runway collision

An Air Canada Express plane sits on the tarmac after it collided with a fire truck on the tarmac at LaGuardia Airport on March 23, 2026 in New York City. Two people are believed to have been killed in the late-night accident, with dozens injured. The plane had landed from a flight from Montreal. Image credit: Spencer Platt/Getty Images

Tragedy struck New York's LaGuardia Airport late Sunday when an Air Canada Express plane collided with a firefighting vehicle on the runway, killing both pilots and injuring 41 others.

Jazz Aviation flight AC8646, arriving from Montreal with 72 passengers and four crew members, struck a Port Authority fire truck moments after entering Runway 4 shortly before midnight. The truck, responding to a separate emergency, toppled over as sparks, smoke, and debris erupted from the aircraft. Footage showed the plane's front end sheared off near the front doors.

Harrowing air-traffic control audio captured the final seconds before impact. After clearing the truck to cross the runway, the controller desperately radioed: "Stop stop stop stop truck 1, stop, stop, stop..."

Just seven seconds separated clearance from catastrophe.

In a heartbreaking exchange 15 minutes later, the controller told a pilot: "We were dealing with an emergency earlier. I messed up."

"Nah, man. You did the best you could," the pilot replied. "God bless you, man."

The FAA implemented a full ground stop, canceling over 500 flights before LaGuardia reopened Monday afternoon. The National Transportation Safety Board is investigating.

This marks the latest in a troubling string of runway incidents, following last year's Reagan Airport collision that killed 67 and recent near-misses nationwide. The administration fired hundreds of FAA staff shortly after the accident.

Should you check your 401(k) today?

👍️

Sure. It won’t be as bad today as it was last week, but I warn you it’s still going to be pretty horrific.

Poll of the day: Democ-AI-cy In AI-ction!

Reader Cal got in touch (hi, Cal! 👋🏻):

“I've been a fan of this newsletter for a long time, but recently noticed you're using AI images instead of stock images, which feels disappointing. AI images are (as we all know) bad for the environment, and also not using stock images means that photographers aren't getting paid, so it's bad for creatives and the economy. Would really appreciate if you reconsidered this stance!”

Here, for example, is one from yesterday showing a middle class suburbanite selling his blood plasma to pay for groceries:

AI image courtesy Google Nano Banana Pro

So, what do you think, Cheddheads?

Poll of the day: It’s a no on selling your plasma

We asked: “Could you use the extra $600 a month from donating blood plasma?”

You answered:

🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ Sure. I am currently 70% caffeine and sheer spite, but I’ll gladly trade the rest of my life force to afford one bag of organic groceries. (120)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ I'll pass. I suppose $600 might cover the monthly dry-cleaning bill for my cat’s silk pajamas, provided the needle doesn't scratch my tennis watch, but I work in finance. So, no. (34)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 This story is absolutely horrifying, and it appalls me. (265)
🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️ "The worker becomes all the poorer the more wealth he produces, the more his production increases in power and size. The worker becomes an ever cheaper commodity the more commodities he creates." — Karl Marx's Economic and Philosophic Manuscripts of 1844 (177)

596 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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JPMorgan electronically monitors junior bankers’ working hours

Matt Davis — Mon, 23 Mar 2026 10:30:00 +0000

Happy Monday {{ first_name | N2K reader }}!

Madeliene Painter won last week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ with this beauty on the theme “why you should give all your health data to a robot.”

Beep boop scan complete
Many errors found in you
Now terminating
~Madeliene Painter

And here’s how the Cheddheads voted on the competition:

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 1. What a way to go: T-800 telling me, I’m terminated ~Remy Zane (48)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 2. Beep boop scan complete, Many errors found in you, Now terminating ~Madeliene Painter (156)
🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️ 3. Robo doc is here, Featuring blue screen of death, Now with new meaning ~Stephen R. Balzac (113)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 4. Here’s your new doctor. R2-D2 or HAL-like? It’s anyone’s guess. ~Margaret Lea (41)
🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 5. Saw my robot doc: "Beep boop you're gonna die soon. Now pay five thousand" ~Lodro Rinzler (69)
427 Votes via @beehiiv polls

And now for some news you really N2K!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

JPMorgan electronically monitors junior bankers’ w …
Saudi Arabia sees $180 oil if conflict persists pa …
Tesla’s Semi trucks are ready to roll
Denmark was ready to blow up Greenland runways if …
Middle class suburbanites are selling their blood …

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

$SPX ( ▲ 1.2% ) $DJI ( ▲ 1.79% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$JPM ( ▲ 0.11% ) $GS ( ▲ 2.88% ) $TSLA ( ▲ 3.01% )

JPMorgan electronically monitors junior bankers’ working hours

Satirical AI image courtesy Google Nano Banana Pro. Nailed it.

JPMorgan Chase $JPM ( ▲ 0.11% ) is using technology to verify whether junior investment bankers' self-reported working hours match their “actual digital activity,” as Wall Street faces increased scrutiny over grueling workloads.

The bank is piloting a program that compares computer-generated estimates of employees' work weeks — based on video calls, keystrokes, and scheduled meetings — against their submitted timesheets. JPMorgan plans to expand the initiative across its investment bank.

"Much like the weekly screen time summaries on a smartphone, this tool is about awareness — not enforcement," JPMorgan said in a statement to the Financial Times, which reported on the news. "It's designed to support transparency, wellbeing, and encourage open conversations about workload."

The move comes after JPMorgan capped junior bankers' hours at 80 per week, though some employees underreport their time to avoid being removed from deals. Broader industry reform followed the death of a young Bank of America banker two years ago and a 2013 London intern death linked to overwork.

Goldman Sachs $GS ( ▲ 2.88% ) also monitors staff electronically. While surveillance tools have grown since the pandemic, they remain controversial, with some workers citing privacy concerns. I say, if you work for an investment bank, you sign a devil’s bargain and better be ready to work yourself to death, but I think, perhaps, that’s part of the problem. #NotCareerAdvice

Saudi Arabia sees $180 oil if conflict persists past April

AI image courtesy Google Nano Banana Pro

As the Iran war continues to disrupt global energy supplies, Saudi Arabia finds itself in an unexpected position: Hoping oil prices don't climb too high.

Saudi oil officials are projecting that crude could soar past $180 a barrel if disruptions persist through late April. While this might seem like a windfall for the world's largest oil exporter, the kingdom is deeply concerned about the consequences.

"Saudi Arabia generally does not like too-rapid increases in oil, because that then creates long-term market instability," explained Umer Karim, an analyst at the King Faisal Center for Research and Islamic Studies, talking to the Wall Street Journal. "For Saudis, the ideal equation is a relatively modest increase in prices while their market share remains stable."

The fear? Sky-high prices could permanently change consumer behavior (to, say, renewable energy sources), trigger a global recession, or paint Saudi Arabia as, gasp, a war profiteer.

Energy traders are increasingly betting on extreme scenarios. "I don't think $150 is out of the question in another month," said Rebecca Babin, senior energy trader for CIBC Private Wealth. "You start talking about June; I'll give you $180."

With American gasoline already at $3.88 per gallon and diesel at $5.10, consumers and businesses are feeling the pinch. The question now isn't just how high prices will go but how much economic damage they'll cause along the way.

Tesla’s Semi trucks are ready to roll

Four Tesla Semi battery-electric Class 8 trucks parked inside a warehouse — Image source: Tesla

After years of delays, Tesla's Semi truck is finally hitting the road, and it's winning fans among the toughest critics: professional truckers.

Dakota Shearer discovered the Semi's advantages firsthand when he got stuck on a tight bend in Nevada. Thanks to the centered driving position and surrounding screens, he backed out effortlessly. "That right there showed me that the technology the Tesla has makes a big difference," Shearer told the Wall Street Journal.

Tesla $TSLA ( ▲ 3.01% ) plans to begin mass production this summer from its Nevada Gigafactory, with projections of 5,000 to 15,000 deliveries in 2026.

For veteran driver Angel Rodriguez, 56, the switch from a 13-gear diesel to the automatic Semi was transformative. "It's just easier on your body," he said. "It's less stressful because you're not really having to engage the clutch and the stick shift."

Just wait until they make it fully autonomous, Angel. Then it’ll really be easier on your body.

The Semi's 500-mile range is opening new possibilities for fleet operators like Jennie Abarca of King Fio Trucking, who has 20 Semis on order. "The Teslas change everything," Abarca said. "It opens up a whole different type of delivery that I can make."

Denmark was ready to blow up Greenland runways if U.S. invaded

AI image courtesy Google Nano Banana Pro

Denmark dispatched explosives and blood supplies to Greenland in January as contingency planning against a potential US attack amid escalating tensions over President Trump's push to control the Arctic island, the Financial Times reports.

Danish troops carried enough explosives to destroy runways near Nuuk and at Kangerlussuaq, a former fighter base, according to Denmark's public broadcaster DR. France and Germany backed Copenhagen's approach to raise the cost of any forceful takeover.

"We were very worried this was going to go really wrong," said one European official about Trump's repeated January threats.

Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen characterized the crisis in stark terms: "We have been in the worst foreign policy situation since the Second World War. The only reason we are today in a better situation...is because we have European co-operation."

NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte eventually defused tensions by convincing Trump to accept the outline of a "future deal" at Davos. However, Frederiksen cautioned: "I hope for an agreement, but as I have said, Trump's desire to take over Greenland remains intact."

European officials remain vigilant. As one former Danish minister warned: "Greenland has not gone away. It's only sleeping."

Song of the Day: Maya Hawke, ‘Devil You Know’

Maya Hawke's single "Devil You Know" is the lead track for her fourth studio album, “Maitreya Corso,” scheduled for release on May 1. The song marks a shift from her earlier "bedroom-folk" style into a more sonically sophisticated and layered alt-pop sound.

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Is ChatGPT About To Become Obsolete?

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Middle class suburbanites are selling their blood plasma to make ends meet

AI image courtesy Google Nano Banana Pro

In suburban Houston strip malls, sandwiched between fitness studios and investment firms, a new "second job" is trending: Selling blood plasma. Once associated with extreme financial desperation, the plasma industry (along with extreme financial desperation, presumably), is migrating to middle-class neighborhoods to serve a different clientele: the "working squeezed,” reports the New York Times.

Take Joseph Briseño, a 59-year-old crane supervisor earning $50,000 a year. To keep up with rising costs, he spends his days off in a recliner with a needle in his arm. "In this economy, it’s expensive," Briseño says, "and donating helps." He uses the extra $600 a month for gas, groceries, and his mortgage.

He isn't an outlier. From tech workers to teachers, many are turning to what Georgetown professor Peter Jaworski calls a "shadow safety net." As finance professor Emily Gallagher points out: "If people need to do this to supplement their incomes, then there are a lot of jobs out there just not paying high enough wages for people to live on."

Ya think?

Even retirees like Arnold Williams, 66, use the payments to bridge gaps between Social Security checks. "It’s in those in-between times where this is beneficial," he explained.

Should you check your 401(k) today?

👎️

Under no circumstances, no.

Poll of the day: Sell your plasma?

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Need2Know, by Cheddar

Pentagon approaches automakers to boost weapons production

News You Need2Know

What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

Pentagon approaches automakers to boost weapons production

Quote of the Day

Is LIV Golf dead?

Inside Zohran Mamdani’s first 100 days

Song of the Day: Holly Humberstone, ‘Beauty Pageant’

What the heck is up with inflation? Eh?

Inside the next wave of AI robots

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Should you check your 401(k) today?

Poll of the day: It’s World-Famous-5-7-5™ time

Poll of the day:

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Investors see end of Iran war as a foregone conclusion

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What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

Investors see end of Iran war as a foregone conclusion

Quote of the Day

Trump threatens to fire Powell (again)

New York governor wants to tax second homes

Song of the Day: Ella Langley, ‘Bottom of Your Boots.’

Hotels slash summer room rates as World Cup demand falls short

Cocoa prices came down, but you're still paying through the nose for candy

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Market Volatility Exposes Weak Delegation

Should you check your 401(k) today?

Poll of the day: Tax ‘em? Or…you know…don’t?

Poll of the day: “I have a competition in me!”

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Stocks are back to pre-Iran war highs

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What’s the stock market up to, eh?*

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

Stocks are back to pre-Iran-War highs

Quote of the Day

Meta unseats Google as world's largest digital ad player

Never lose cell signal again as Amazon buys Starlink competitor Globalstar

Song of the Day: The Strokes, ‘Going Shopping’

Why is Netflix’s boss schmoozing cinema owners?

Open AI investors question its $852 billion valuation

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Someone just spent $236,000,000 on a painting. Here’s why it matters for your wallet.

Should you check your 401(k) today?

Poll of the day: Amazonian ambitions

Poll of the day: Millenials!

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Hollywood heavyweights sign letter opposing Paramount’s Warner Bros. buyout

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Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

Hollywood heavyweights sign letter opposing Paramount’s buyout of Warner Bros.

Quote of the Day

Who had it tougher — millennials or boomers?

The X-odus: Elon’s posting on TikTok and insta

Song of the Day: Lady Gaga, Doechii, ‘Runway’

An astronaut talks about “settling” on the moon

McDonalds launches ‘refreshers’ to hop on the cold drinks bandwagon

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Should you check your 401(k) today?

Poll of the day: Which generation had it hardest?

Poll of the day: Touchdown!

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White House warns staff to stop betting on the Iran war

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White House warns staff to stop betting on the Iran war

Artemis II crew returns to Earth after historic Moon mission

Song of the Day: Live, ‘Run To The Water’

We talked to the guy investing millions in American trains

Why it’s harder than it used to be to upgrade to first class on the ✈️

Quote of the Day

Justice department opens investigation into NFL