. INTRO .

Welcome to the new Connections newsletter.

Every issue, we will highlight one leader's story and connect the dots of a specific moment of their life to their mission. Our goal is to recognize the patterns of other's breakthrough moments so we can inspire to take action on our own.

Real connections (the relationships between people, ideas, and technology) cannot be linearly planned–only understood backward, when the dots finally connect in retrospect.

Each week, I'll share:

➤ The Moment — A pivotal scene in the course of someone's life
➤ The Insight — The psychological principle at work
➤ The Breakthrough — The contrarian belief that transformed their life

Speaking of which...

Let me tell you about Pablo, who went from fearing for his stable job to having five people line up to hire him—all in 45 minutes.

. THE STORY .

Pablo was afraid of getting laid off. 

Yet there he was–standing behind three microphones, staring at 100 strangers. 

He was the Director of Sustainability of a Miami construction company, working under new leadership who didn't quite understand the value of his work: “What does a sustainability director actually do?" his CEO recently asked him.

Not exactly what you want to hear from your boss. 

However, his elusive role is what got him on stage. 

The CEO was supposed to speak on a Smart Cities panel in front of Miami's Economic Development Agency. The CEO's last minute realized: he did not know enough about smart cities and was not a big fan of public speaking. 

"You're the sustainability guy, and you do all those public speaking things. Can you fill his spot?" asked someone from the leadership team.

So there Pablo was. 

Sitting between:
➤ The head of the World Bank's Smart Cities Initiative
➤ The head of Latin America for Cisco Systems
➤ And him—a guy afraid of getting laid off the next day

For 45 minutes, he spoke about his passion.

When he stepped off that stage? Five people lined up to speak with him.

“How can we partner with your team?”
"What's it take to get a guy like you to work for me?"
“I want you as a mentor. I want to be like you.” (that was Will, who became a lasting connection)

Pablo had spoken publicly before through nonprofit work, but never had a line of people waiting to talk to him afterward.

That's when it hit him—

. THE INSIGHT .

The brain explains what it sees.

Pablo's proximity to high-level leaders elevated his status.

Therefore— 

. THE BREAKTHROUGH .

The right stage positions you better than any credential.

Most people believe:

➤ Wait for credentials before claiming expertise

➤ Your title determines your positioning

➤ You need official invitations to belong

However, with Pablo's experience, a new truth emerges:

Proximity + one's own authority = magnetic positioning.

Surround yourself with the right people in your space for others to position you amongst the powerful, like-minded individuals for you to own your own stage. 

. THE RESULT .

Today, Pablo Gonzalez has dedicated his life to being a category leader in the community-building space for B2B businesses. His experiences taught him the power of proximity + authority by building stages through his proprietary framework of POV → Content → Online Events → Live Events → Community-as-a-Service.

Pablo's recent transformative clients include JWB Real Estate, Vendoroo, and Lenovo.

If you would like to connect with Pablo, you can find him on LinkedIn.

 . SPONSOR .

Finally, a portfolio that's auto-updating, and creates backups of your work.

If you're a writer, journalist or content marketer, you are probably familiar with these struggles:

1. Spending hours updating your portfolio page to keep it fresh.

2. Losing your work samples due to site shutdowns.

The good news? Authory has you covered.

It automatically pulls in your content and creates a stunning portfolio that updates itself every time you publish.

Plus, it backs up all your work, so you never have to worry about losing anything.

Ready to impress potential clients and employers?

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Hey friends,

This year, I've reflected on something uncomfortable.

While I've been building an email marketing business, I've neglected the consistency required in my newsletter. Most advice I received said to "ignore it, don't say anything to your readers, and just start again."

But I believe ignoring the connection I have with you is antithetical to everything I stand for.

Therefore, I acknowledge it—and return with a compromise: a new newsletter structure.

Just as I advise my clients, a repeatable yet differentiated structure is the defining factor that separates a newsletter from a blog, and is therefore the secret to foundational growth.

Therefore, the Connections newsletter will now focus on:

The stories behind leaders who've connected the dots of their lives to build their authentic vision. 

Tell me what you think of this new newsletter style in the poll below.

Sincerely,

Lauren and the Connections team

_THE SHORT STORY_

I hired two people in July. By the end of August, I let them both go.

Here's what I learned from this process, and how you can avoid the same mistakes by focusing on building the right connections: the ones between your vision, your systems, and the people who help bring them to life.

➜ Hey! This newsletter is brought to you by Lauren Gibson. Reply here for Q's (this is my personal email).

. LIFE NOTES .

• The numbers are in—unemployment nears 4-year high. Can OpenAI save us?

• I've been tracking my hours spent online. It's way too fun with Rize.

• “Freedom is not Freedom in the beginning of starting a business”

• I ordered this “timeless watch” 2 years ago… it (finally) arrived last week

_THE FULL STORY_

Back in early July, I'd finally secured a solid MRR. I could hire someone. So I did. Two, actually. My net profit dropped from 97% to 82%.

Both contractors were from the Philippines.

Roxy was hire #1 at 5 hours a week. My business buddy Peter (name changed) worked with and trained her on sales processes. I followed Peter's suggestion and created a ChatGPT bot, trained on my brand voice and résumé, to assist me in applying to Upwork project proposals. Her sole job was to apply to Upwork projects on my behalf. 

I spent the first two weeks learning how to delegate to someone new, and create the right SOPs. Three weeks in, I saw she was applying to one job… per hour. I told her this was unacceptable. However, it wasn't her fault; she was simply following the SOP and the guidance of Peter. She had been working with him for 4 months, and had never closed a single deal for Peter. As this is the point of sales, I reconsidered whether this person would be right for my business. 

“Did I make a mistake?” I thought. Yet I gave her another chance. One month later, I closed 1 deal because of her efforts, and I even gave her a bonus of 5% of that deal. However, I realized her work would not be the main revenue driver for my business. 

Bree was hire #2. She was creative and artistic; however, she lacked the organizational skills required for someone to work 20 hours a week under my limited bandwidth. Early on, I was training her on her strengths: design. I wanted to create LinkedIn carousels and cheatsheets like those.

Yet I realized I was spending too much time with her. Every Monday and Thursday, I was online with her between 9-11pm. My days dragged on into the "hustle” territory of 11 hour computer screentime. I know this was true because I use Rize to track my hours (friends love it try one month free here).

Her designs were increasingly fantastic—but I realized I had not built the systems necessary to maintain one designer at 20 hours a week.

In the startup scene, you often hear that “starting a company is like jumping off a cliff and building an airplane on the way down,” and I fully agree with this. What you don't realize is, when you hire someone, you've then bought into the fact that you could crash them, too. 

As a former laid-off startup employee, that hits. Hard. 

_LESSONS LEARNED_

1. Hiring is not just a goal to achieve. 

2. Hiring is a process that requires careful consideration. Especially because your hires become an extension of you and your business.

3. Hiring happens when you find connection and alignment with your revenue, work, and systems.

Next time I hire, I'm running through these steps:

Step 1: Audit Your Time

“Once you see where your time really goes, the hiring decision becomes clearer,” Brendan, an entrepreneur I met at CreatorHubLive, told me. He runs 17 businesses generating $1.7M/month (seemed like someone I could learn from).

He encouraged me to first create a detailed list of my current tasks. So these were mine in August:

Step 2: Filter With the Right Rules

Brendan shared four philosophies that reframed my thinking on hiring:

1. Pay for Experience Over Training Time
   “It would take me more time to develop someone with your expertise from Georgetown. If you can, it’s better to hire someone with proven experience than spend months training someone up. The extra cost saves you time, which is ultimately more valuable.”

   
   

2. When You’re Maxed Out, Pay More
   “If you’re fully maxed out on bandwidth, it’s cheaper in the long run to pay more for someone who can jump in immediately, and not waste your time with delegation.”

   
   

3. Eliminate → Automate → Delegate
   Before you ever hire, run through this filter:

   • Eliminate: Do you actually need to do this task?

   • Automate: If no, can a tool or system handle it?

   • Delegate: If not, can you hand this off to a human with an SOP?

Step 3: Buy Back Your Time

Dan Martell, the author of Buy Back Your Time, has this philosophy:

Your first hire should be an Executive Assistant (EA). 

Why? Because the job of an EA isn’t to generate revenue—it’s to give you back the hours that free you up to focus on the work that does.

Tim Ferriss echoed this in The 4-Hour Workweek when he said, “if you’re still buried in scheduling, inbox chaos, or admin tasks, you’re not truly running your business—you’re trapped inside it.”

The key lessons from Step 3:

• Don’t hire someone to “make you more money” right away.

• Hire someone to remove the friction in your day-to-day so you can focus on your highest-value work—strategy, sales, relationships, creativity.

• The right assistant pays for themselves by buying back the most precious resource you have: time.

_PLAYLIST_

_REFLECTION_

Letting two people go in the same month was really a mirror into my own subconscious.

What I saw reflected back was someone who thought hiring would win the next achievement award. Someone who, despite preaching about connections, had failed to create the right ones within her own business. 

The hardest part? 

Admitting that I was the broken connection. 

Not Roxy. Not Bree. Me. 

I wasn't connected to my own vision clearly enough to need the hires.
I wasn't connected to systems that could support growth.
And I certainly wasn't connected to the uncomfortable truth that I was creating more problems by hiring, instead of solving them through hiring. 

Here's what I'm carrying forward:

Before I hire again, I need to ask myself the hard questions:

What am I actually trying to fix? → Time? Revenue? Fulfillment?

Am I hiring to grow the team or the business? → Focus on ROI output.

Have I built systems / SOPs yet? → Or am I asking someone to help me figure it out? 

The people we bring into our work become extensions of our intentions. If our intentions aren't clear, the connection breaks.

And maybe that's the real lesson here.

Business isn't just about profit margins and productivity. It's about the quality of connections we create—with our work, our systems, and our hires.

The right hire will come when I've done the deeper work of connecting with what I'm actually building, systems and all.

Until then, I'm learning to sit with the discomfort of doing it myself.

Sincerely,

Lauren and the Connections team

P.S Always include this.

IDEAS TO CONSIDER

• Everything about GPT5 with Sam Altman 

• AI is going to kill us (this is a must watch)

• 7 Human Skills that get more valuable in the Future of Work

• The power of Ho'oponopono (I practice this every day)

Here’s the scene:

I’m on a plane, heading to Philly for a festival. 

I open my Remarkable 2 tablet to the $100M Offers PDF by Alex Hormozi. 

I decide to re-read the most important section in the book.

It was the Value Equation.

Dream Outcome X perceived likelihood of achievement divided by Time Delay X Effort and Sacrifice. 

Many online business owners I’ve met recommend this book because of this equation.

I flipped to the next page and was reminded of this exercise after the Value Equation:

List all the problems in your industry and all the solutions that could solve it. 

“Alright,” I thought, “let’s see what I wrote down…”

Well the funny thing is, instead of seeing my notes of problems and solutions I could solve, I saw a big star. 

⭐️ Fill out LLC forms by June 1!!!

Hm.

This wasn’t a gold star for “well-done.”

This was a reminder to do something that didn't solve a problem…

You see, a year ago I was so focused on the operations-focused, short-term outcome, that I never actually did what the outcome meant to solve… 

Build a business. 

Help people.

I wanted to help people through a business.

But all I cared about was having a business. 

The truth is: Starting a business is not a to-do list.

The goal is to SOLVE a bigger problem, not create an even bigger problem. 

Because with a business, you have:

• paperwork to file..

• invoices to chase...

• contractors to pay…..

• software to upgrade…..

A year ago, still in the employee mindset, I cared more about creating rather than solving. 

But… I was creating the wrong things. 

I was creating a problem. 

And I think that’s what early-stage entrepreneurs do.

We still exist in the employee mindset, not the owner mindset.

99% of education is built around the employee mindset.

I think about this John D Rockefeller quote:

Sure, a nation of workers worked back then.

But that was 100 years ago.

Today, in the future of work… the age of the worker is dying.

We are being forced to think.

Because AI and automation are taking over the working class. 

The white-collar, desk workers are first.

Does that sound scary to you?

It does to me too.

Here's what I wish people told me about building a business in the age of AI:

1. If you haven't started yet—it's O-K-A-Y.

It took me TWO YEARS from layoff (seriously, exactly 24 months ago!) to today—now earning 81% of my prior income a month.

This is nothing to brag about. Some people may say that I’ve "failed.”

But I like to think of it as never giving up. And this is your calling too.

2. Your motivation comes after starting.

Someone recently told me this interesting comparison: think of motivation like sleep. “You know when you sleep? You don't wait to sleep. You pretend to sleep… then you fall asleep.”

This is the 2nd biggest piece of advice I'd share with anyone looking to start.

People stuck “waiting” for motivation are still stuck in the employee mindset.

If you're thinking like this person, reconsider your objectives:

3. 100% execution isn't human.

I tell myself weekly: “Don't be so hard on yourself, you're working 10 hours on your computer a day!”

(this is true, I use Rize to measure exactly what I am doing every workday)

We are not built like robots. Take a breather, enjoy the journey.

Those who last see the big picture will be the ones to “succeed”

Whatever that means!

4. Start a business to work 10 hours a day.

Freedom? Yeah right. Your first year working will be brutal.

And honestly… if you want to scale every year, it won't get easier.

You will get tougher.

So start a business because you enjoy working 10 hours a day. Not because you feel forced to.

But if you're like me, then those 10 hours will be a small price to pay for the reward ahead.

And lastly, honestly,

5. No one needs to know.

This sounds counterintuitive to my content. However, my goal is to be inclusive. I know “my way” is not the only way. My way involves content because of my long-term dreams of becoming a speaker.

Your long-term dreams may be different.

So know your dreams. Know your objectives. Take the steps necessary to generate your own.

 📣 OUR SPONSOR

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Join more than 10,000 freelance writers who already use Authory to impress potential clients and employers.

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🎶 OUR PLAYLIST

Are you building your online empire where leads come to you?

I help my clients build that reputation. I know all it comes down to is your Brand Voice. In the age of AI, your personal brand will be the only reason your business stands out. Gary Vee says this about the ai-future of work.

The problem is, some people don't know how to create their personal brand. When they stare into a camera or they sit in front of the blank box of the “Post” button, we freeze. We have analysis paralysis for the unknown.

But you already do know your personal brand.

It's locked in your voice. It's hidden in every conversation you have with friends, family, clients, and your dog (like my puppy Zoë). And personally? I realized…. I can help people unlock this.

Two weeks ago I announced, I'm offering 10 Free Brand Voice Analysis Interviews in the month of August. You get a detailed, strategic yet reflective analysis of your Brand Voice to use in creating assets that bring your leads to you.

But the truth is…

I'm overbooked. The 10 calls are taken. And it's August 16th.

But I know… I can still make time to add value. That's what I want to do for you. 45-minute interview. 30 minute review.

Are you ready?

Reply to this email.

I'll send you time to book.

Sincerely,

Lauren and the Connections team

P.S Here's why to take advantage of this limited offer. Or maybe you want to hear this. Maybe this is why you book. If you feel an inkling of a reason, let's do it.

IDEAS TO CONSIDER

• AI will replace most clothing models

• Mark Zuckerberg fears ChatGPT more than You (TY for sharing Michael)

• The new era of humanity: Humans as luxury goods

• The manager era is over

ChatGPT can write most of your company code, design your basic assets, and write a few solid copywriting phrases that make someone think you hired a $500 scriptwriter.

You may be wondering, "How do I compete with AI?"

This is the question many of my friends of upper-level education are asking themselves, as they find their job prospects shattered by the simple fact that either they need to take a role at ½ their paygrade or risk being “outbid” by someone with 2x the experience…. also taking a job at ½ their paygrade.

This is the reality for several Georgetown MBAs I know

Therefore, I write this newsletter towards my colleagues, and for anyone experiencing this same frustration.

First, we must reframe the question about AI.

The real question is, "How do I become irreplaceable in a world where knowledge is free and abundant?"

For decades, we've operated under a simple assumption: knowledge is power.

➜ Get the right degree.
➜ Accumulate expertise.
➜ Build your technical skills.
➜ Climb the ladder.

This model worked when knowledge was expensive to acquire and difficult to distribute. A Harvard MBA meant something because not everyone could access those insights.

AI is blowing up this entire framework.

When ChatGPT can write code, analyze data, and synthesize research in seconds, knowledge becomes abundant. When answers are free, the shift turns to the message, the angle, and the meaning behind the answer.

AI artificially (by name) creates meaning for us.

We can mostly tell when something is written by AI when there is little context behind it. Take this example:

Do you feel the difference?

The first one focuses on everything the video production service does, but the second one focuses on the feeling the service evokes.

If you were a luxury clothing brand, which would you buy from?

(Side note — if you'd say “neither,” this is why you still need a copywriter. Good outputs are never one-and-done prompts)

What we call “expertise” is a downward hill.

Anyone can create code, art, or copy with AI.

The new moat is more human.

The differentiation factor for most companies will no longer be knowledge itself, but how knowledge is connected.

In other words: the message. the angle. the purpose.

As AI commoditizes knowledge work, a new tier emerges: the vibe worker.

Vibe workers aren't experts.

Vibe workers are mile wide and inch deep.

They choose aspects of seemingly unconnected ideas, design them into puzzle pieces, and form their own Rubik's Cube.

Vibe workers are excellent curators.

They focus on the vision, rather than the execution (let AI handle that).

In the current reality, knowledge workers focus on what they know.

Vibe workers focus on how they make people feel.

Vibe workers create a new class of meaning, new colors in a seemingly unrelated palette.

Vibes connect people.

The value of vibe workers comes not from what they know, but instead from what they feel is right for their target audience and ideal outcome.

Here's how to signal your way into this tier:

Make Your Value Expensive 

A peacock's tail is valuable precisely because only a strong bird can afford the energy to grow a magnificent one. However, in reality, it's ‘inefficient’.

In your career, this means making choices that others can't or won't make. Turning down the "safe" consulting job to join an unknown startup. Spending years developing expertise in a field you see potential in before it becomes trendy.

Build Through Relationships 

Knowledge can be Googled. Judgment can't be replicated. But both are amplified through relationships.

The person who gets the promotion isn't always the smartest in the room. They're often the most connected. They know who to ask. They understand the unwritten rules. They can navigate organizational dynamics.

Practice High-Level Curiosity 

Ask questions that require time, effort, and intellectual courage. Questions that challenge accepted truths. Questions that others are afraid to ask.

The point is not to become a contrarian. We ask high-level questions to develop a reputation of seeing what others miss. When you do that, you are above AI, because only you can see the forest through the trees.

🎶 OUR PLAYLIST

I'm currently offering a FREE Brand Voice Analysis Guide to anyone in August. You get a detailed, strategic yet reflective analysis of your Brand Voice to use in creating social media content, scripts, or web copy. What will happen is we will have 2 calls: One interview and one follow-up review.

Here's a recent testimonial:

Reply to this email, and I'll send you time to book the interview.

Sincerely,

Lauren and the Connections team

Issue 029

I recently shared how one moment completely changed my business trajectory:

This post may sound like a one-shot wonder.

But I'm here to tell you—it's far from that.

Instead, I'll share 5 connection strategies that got me here, ideally to help you manufacture success in your own life.

🔖 BOOKMARKS THIS WEEK

• Vibing: this YouTube Productivity Playlist

• Listening: A Shaolin monk teaches how to break a brick with your mind

• Implementing: how to audit any website with Claude

• Reading: AIO is the new SEO

🫱🏻‍🫲🏽 LUCKY PEOPLE DON'T ACT ALONE

I don't believe luck is a random cosmic lottery system.

There are patterns.

I answered a call at the gym that landed me my first service biz gig.

But this call came after months of cultivating relationships, hosting 10 online networking events, sharing my thought process almost daily on LinkedIn, and positioning myself as a leader (or influencer?) online.

I had been planting the seeds for months.

I went viral on LinkedIn Lunatics on Reddit from this post, I posted cringeworthy videos, and I failed to launch an online paid community.

What? You mean success is not all sunshine and rainbows?

Correct. No growth comes from a magical 0 to 10 manifestation.

But when I look at successful people in my network, I see the same story repeating:

The Georgetown alum making $30k/month from 4 hour/week Ai copywriting? He spent 2 years working 10+ hour days perfecting the style while working with dozens of clients.

The friend who grew his instagram from 4k to 19k+ organic followers (not bots)? He dove into 100+ hours of growth content, started engaging daily replying to 100+ stranger posts and comments.

Notice anything?

Luck Is a Connections Game

What we call "luck" is actually about the connections you make with others.

The more connections you create—with people, with ideas, with technology—the more pathways you build for opportunity to find you.

When I started with the idea of a business two years ago, I spent almost 2 years watching educational content to discover the “secret” formula to success. Some magical sequence of steps I'd eventually unlock if I just found the right course or mentor.

But after five months of building in public, I've realized something crucial: the "luckiest" people aren't necessarily the smartest or most talented.

They're the ones who make more connections.

They connect with more people. They connect more ideas. They connect themselves to more opportunities.

And because they create so many potential pathways, winning opportunities eventually find them.

It really is that simple.

Five Ways to Manufacture Your Own Luck

When you're ready to increase your luck, here are five approaches that have transformed my business:

1. Answer More Calls (Literally and Figuratively)

That Miami gym phone call? I almost didn't answer. Usually my phone is on silent.

But something told me to pick up. And that single connection led to my first client, who introduced me to my second, whose work influenced my posts on LinkedIn, connecting me to my third.

Literally answer the call. Even when it's inconvenient.

That Georgetown guy who makes $30k/month? His biggest advice to me was that he regretted niching down too soon. He told me to jump into action at any opportunity in the begining.

That leads me to—

2. Do Adjacent Work

The first contract wasn't my dream project. It wasn't even in my target niche, but the action was what I wanted.

I wouldn't be doing sales strategy or customer discovery, I was writing. That's what I wanted. I realized that the act of putting words to paper (screen?) is what lights me up.

So the more work you do around your target goal, the more you create a gravitational pull around the far-out objective. Eventually, you attract exactly what you want.

Do work that's close enough, and use it as a bridge.

3. Create More Connection Points

Every time you:

• Share an idea publicly

• Help someone solve a problem

• Introduce two people who should know each other

You're creating a potential connection point for luck to find you.

Think of everything you do as something that should at least help two people: you and your ideal client.

I've noticed my "luckiest" opportunities come through the most unexpected channels.

One of the best ways to connect the dots between you and another is to —

4. Publish Your Thinking

It could be a Github deploy, an artistic design, or a LinkedIn post.

When you share your ideas online, they can reach people you've never met, in places you've never been, while you're sleeping or working on something else entirely.

My entire business is built on the fact that I started publishing my writing—my thinking—one year ago.

And never forget—

5. Connect Others Generously

One of my friends, who inspired me to start my email marketing business, is someone I recently connected to a prospective client. That client referred him to a $5k/month retainer.

“We gotta celebrate!”

When your friends win, you win.

When you help others connect, they remember. And they usually look for ways to help you too.

The goal is to create a network that actively works to create opportunities for you.

The Compound Effect of Connection

The beautiful thing about these luck-creating activities is they compound over time.

Human relationships and connection is the most important gear to create that flywheel effect, to kick your system—whatever you're creating—into overdrive.

I'm not special. I'm not the most talented writer or the most natural networker. There are countless things I could improve.

But over the last five months, I've been consistently answering calls, doing adjacent work, creating connection points, publishing my thinking, and connecting others.

That's the entire "secret" behind my business growth.

What's Your Next Connection?

So here's my question: Which of these five luck-creating activities will you commit to this week?

I'd love to hear which one resonates most with you. Reply to this email and let me know.

🎶 PLAYLIST OF THE WEEK

Remember: Lucky people don't act alone. They build connection systems that multiply their opportunities.

And you can too.

Sincerely,

Lauren and the Connections team

P.S. I updated the brand style, and I'd love to know —

Issue 028

The past 2 weeks I’ve been up until 1am each night, working weekends, sometimes staring at walls just to “relax”; and all of this because I’ve gone all-in on my new business: a newsletter service offering.

Is this slowly leading to burnout? Perhaps.

But the question here is not as it relates to my health, but as it relates to my relationships with others.

Unfortunately, I have been a bit MIA with my relationships. And some people have noticed. The irony writing this issue is not lost on me.

So this week, I want to talk about it.

This week, let's explore the delicate balance between business and maintaining authentic relationships, why some aspects of relationship-building should remain sacred, how to navigate the authenticity paradox, and most importantly, how to keep your connections genuine when everything else is turning into a metric.

P.S. If I've been slow to respond to your messages lately, now you know why. But I'm working on finding that balance.

📌 If you happen to find this in your Spam, please place this email in your ‘Primary’ inbox [Gmail], ‘VIPs’ [Apple], or ‘Safe Sender’ list [Outlook]. Thank you for helping our deliverability!

🔖 BOOKMARKS THIS WEEK

• Can you be too authentic?

• The Authenticity Paradox — HBR Article

• The quickest way to destroy your love is to turn it into — Chris (YouTube)

🫱🏻‍🫲🏽 THE MONETIZATION TRAP: IS IT ALL TRANSACTIONAL?

Last night at 12:47 AM, I caught myself drafting an email to a longtime connection. Halfway through, I realized something that made me pause— I was writing it like a pitch deck.

Complete with value propositions. Bullet points. A clear call to action.

I deleted the whole thing. Scheduled a text (great new Apple feature).

And I reflect: as my newsletter service business grows, I'm faced with an interesting dilemma: the very thing that made me good at building genuine connections (that natural, unhurried, authentic approach) is now competing with the pressures of running a business.

You start seeing every interaction through a business lens, and suddenly, your genuine connections begin feeling like entries in a CRM.

Let's talk about this tension.

Authenticity—is it real?

Here's what nobody tells you about monetizing your passion: the very qualities that make you good at building that passion—for me, it's relationship building— might clash with business imperatives.

I'm learning this firsthand. As my newsletter service grows, I find myself categorizing relationships:

• Potential clients

• Strategic partners

• "Just" friends

The moment you start categorizing people in a CRM, you've already lost something precious.

But here's what I'm learning:

• Efficiency Kills Magic

  • The more I try to streamline relationship-building, the more it loses its spark. Those serendipitous moments, like a random GIF exchange that leads to a deep conversation, can't be templated.

• Time Isn't Always Money

  • Learning this first-hand with a client who has clearly gone overtime in their requests, due to their inability to take time to do the work on their own.

  • Rather than make a hard stop, the intention is always to value the relationship above all else. And use it as a lesson in your business to update your offer, not a time to get angry.

• The Magical Check-In

  • When I follow up because my CRM tells me to, the conversation feels forced. When I follow up because something genuinely reminded me of someone, magic happens.

  • People (mostly) want to be treated like a person. Not like a machine. So figure out ways to incorporate magical serendipity into the conversations. Here are a few ways to create that magic.

• Metrics can Mislead

  • Someone with 100,000+ "connections” on LinkedIn may only have a few people to rely on.

• The Trust Timeline

  • You can't rush trust. The moment you try to accelerate relationship-building for business purposes, people feel it.

What I'm discovering is that some aspects of connection need to remain pure. Untouched by metrics. Free from conversion goals.

This newsletter is my sacred space.

Here's how I'm navigating this in a world where transactions are necessary, but never the end-all:

• Have a clear offer

  • When your offer is clear, you don't need to cold sell. People overtly know. I've heard transparent pricing, like on a website, is an upward trend.

• Don't sell first

  • Wait for the offer to be sold to. If someone asks, "What do you do?” or if someone sends a connection request and they happen to meet your ICP. Mention your service, but don't oversell.

• Transparency

  • Ok, the opportunity may come to you through a LinkedIn connection request. And it's too good to be true. If you need to wear your business hat, say so. People appreciate clarity more than cleverly disguised pitches.

• The 70/30 Rule

  • 70% of relationship-building activities should have no direct monetary goal. This is an arbitrary number, but the goal is to not make it a minority. This keeps your network genuine and your intentions clear.

• Ask, “Where do My Leads Come From?”

  • This is a question that needs to be asked as we build a business. Honestly, you may not have the skills to hard sell effectively without losing the trust of your prospect. If that’s true, lean into what works already, perhaps it's referrals. If that, then you know how important relationships are to build a client base.

A Confession

I've been slacking on building Connections ✣.

Growth-skyrocketing is not in my game plan, because this is a business about building a powerful network. And powerful networks aren't built from a place of short-term gains.

So I've decided to allow this as a space to remain wonderfully, purposefully inefficient.

Because relationships are a lifelong endeavor.

What aspects of your professional relationships do you keep sacred? I'd love to hear your thoughts (and no, this isn't a lead-in to a pitch, promise :)

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What did you think of this issue? How do you keep professional relationships non-transactional, or do you believe they all are?

Reply here and I’ll get back to you!

Thanks for reading!

Sincerely,

Lauren and the Connections team

Ever walked into a room, scanned the crowd, and thought… Where do I even start?

I’ve been there.

From attending the most exclusive prep school in Jacksonville, to teaching English to Tunisian parliamentarians, to networking with DC’s upcoming finance professionals, I’ve had to figure out, fast, how to enter conversations that felt out of reach.

So this week, I’m breaking down how to enter a group conversation at a networking event without looking awkward, without overthinking, and in a way that elevates your presence instantly.

You can play it bold, or you can play it smooth. Either way, you’ll walk in with intention.

📌 If you happen to find this in your Spam, please place this email in your ‘Primary’ inbox [Gmail], ‘VIPs’ [Apple], or ‘Safe Sender’ list [Outlook]. Thank you for helping our deliverability!

🔖 BOOKMARKS THIS WEEK

• Workers will only make 3 professional friends in their life (oof) - The Sun

• How to build rapport with rich people — networkingwizard, Instagram

• The role of networking in success — Eric Siu, YouTube

• Practical tactics to network online — The Science of People, YouTube

🫱🏻‍🫲🏽 NETWORKING: CHOOSE YOUR CHARACTER

We all know networking can turn into deals, partnerships, and life-changing introductions, but you never know where relationships will take you if you don’t build your presence from the group up through in-person events.

It’s not about being the loudest.
It’s not about forcing your way in.
It’s about positioning yourself as someone people want to talk to.

The point is to signal that you belong.

But how do you do that when belonging can be so… difficult?

Let’s talk tactics.

Specifically, how to enter a group conversation at an event.

Imagine you’re at an event.

When you enter a new space, it can be easy to dart straight to the drinks table.

As someone who never drinks at events (usually I save it for dinners), I’d like to share what you can do instead, no matter if you have a drink in hand or not.

You can approach your entry in 2-ways:

The Power Player or The Smooth Operator

Neither is right or wrong. Simply lean into the mood you’re feeling and continue.

✣ Choose Your Group

Find the most engaged listener: Every group has one—the person nodding along, reacting, but not speaking much. That’s your in.

The Power Player: Take Control of the Moment

This is for when you’re feeling bold, confident, and ready to make an entrance that commands attention. Step into the group with purpose.

• Enter with a statement. Instead of waiting for an opening, add value immediately. If they’re discussing a business trend, say something sharp like:
  “I couldn’t help but overhear—interesting take on AI in hiring. I’ve actually seen a friend I know implement a similar model with surprising results.”

• Make eye contact with everyone. Do not focus on the most talkative. The ones who speak the least may have the most influence. Acknowledge everyone’s existence.

• Use confident body language. Stand tall, nod as others speak, and don’t fidget. Your presence should signal that you belong.

Contribute, without interrupting.

The Smooth Operator: Ease Your Way In

Not every moment calls for a power move. Maybe the conversation is intense, or you want to feel the dynamic before jumping in.

• Enter with curiosity. Instead of inserting yourself right away, react to the conversation naturally—nod, smile, or give a quick verbal cue like “That’s a fascinating perspective, how are you seeing this play out in your work?”

• Engage the least occupied person first. Find the engaged listener—the one who is nodding along but not speaking much. A simple, “This is a great discussion. What’s been the most interesting point so far?” instantly brings you in.

• Allow space for the group to acknowledge you. When the dominant speaker reacts to you, they invite you into the flow of conversation without you forcing it.

  ---

✣ Establish Your Presence

Introduce yourself to everyone individually. That’s correct. Repeat everyone’s names as you shake their hands. Use everyone’s name every chance you get. By remembering names, you show you care, and in effect, they care more about you.

The Power Player: Own Your Spot

Make your presence felt by anchoring yourself in the conversation.

• Insert a well-timed question. The easiest way to be remembered? Ask something thought-provoking.
  “That’s an interesting perspective—do you think this shift is temporary or a long-term trend?”

• Address the group, not just one person. Speak in a way that invites multiple responses. This keeps the conversation flowing around you rather than excluding you or a single individual.

• Use strategic pauses. A short, confident silence after you speak signals that what you said is worth processing.

Great networkers shape conversations.

The Smooth Operator: Build a Bridge

Ease into the discussion by connecting ideas.

How to execute:

• Echo and extend. “That reminds me of what Alex was saying earlier—there seems to be a pattern emerging here.” This makes you a connector, which, we believe especially, is a power move in disguise.

• Validate and redirect. If someone makes a great point, acknowledge it before shifting the topic slightly. “That’s a solid take on creator economy trends. How’d you come about to this idea?”

With this approach, you earn trust without saying much.

✣ Make a Lasting Impression

Read the exit cues: Is the conversation naturally winding down? Are people shifting topics? Do you want to stay engaged?

The Power Player: Close Strong

• Offer a sharp insight before leaving. “Oh! I actually just wrote an article about that. I’d love to share that with you now, then I gotta run.”

• Introduce a next step. “Also, are you going to [event] later? Would love to continue this chat.”

The Smooth Operator: Leave Them Wanting More

• Wrap up on a high. “Wow, this has left me with quite a bit to think about. I’ve really enjoyed this conversation. I’m going to circulate a bit but this has been lovely.”

• Choose one person to connect with. If you think connecting with everyone is overwhelming, select one person, “Hey I really enjoyed your ideas and would like to keep in touch. Can we share LinkedIns?”

The best exits leave people looking forward to speaking with you again.

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Got more feedback or want to get in touch? Reply here and I’ll get back to you.

Thanks for reading!

Sincerely,

Lauren and the Connections team

Earlier this week I had a call with one of my new clients (if you’re not aware, I’m writing founder-led newsletters now). Part of what got me excited to work with this person is although he works at the bleeding edge of technology and business operations… he also sees this truth — the future is in relationships.

So let’s let AI agents like Operator build our businesses, and let’s focus on the people.

This week, we're tackling something I learned the hard way after saying "yes" to too many things last year — the power of a strategic "no" and how it actually strengthens your network, not weakens it.

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🎯 THE COUNTERINTUITIVE POWER OF "NO"

Last quarter, I found myself triple-booked: several ‘potential’ speaking gigs, a ‘potential’ spot on a one-time event team, a ‘potential’ collab with a community leader, and a ‘potential’ job offer.

None of these opportunities came through.

Here's the thing about potential — it's seductive.
It whispers "what if?" in your ear and keeps you playing the same hand of uno reverse in a 2-person game.

In reality, returning back to your hand over and over in a game of professional UNO does not make a very fun game.

People in professional settings approach you when they need a decision. If you’re in a state of figuring it out, own that. But don’t let indecision erode your reputation.

Own Your Uncertainty.

If you’re uncertain about your path, say so confidently. People respect clarity, even if that clarity is, I’m figuring it out. Instead of vague responses like "Maybe, let me think about it," try:

• Thank you for the opportunity, but I’m exploring a different direction right now.

• I’m in a transition period and don’t want to take on anything new just yet.

Earlier today I was speaking with a friend who hated people saying, “I’m figuring it out.” I hear you.

But what people hate more is wishy-washy “Yes!” acceptances of everything under the sun. By owning your uncertainty, you take control of your narrative rather than letting others dictate it.

Saying No Strengthens Relationships.

Leaving every door propped open distracts the mind.

I used to fear saying no because, especially as a woman, I depended on people’s acceptance of me. In the same light, some professionals fear saying no because they believe it will damage relationships.

However over the years, I’ve learned the opposite is true.

The people I care about accept my No more wholeheartedly. Setting firm boundaries also establishes yourself as someone who:

• Values their own time and commitments.

• Can be trusted to follow through when they do say yes.

• Respects the time and expectations of others.

If someone takes your 'no' personally, that says more about them than it does about you. People who respect you will respect your boundaries. Being decisive actually strengthens professional relationships. People respect clarity, even if it's not the answer they wanted.

Every time you “waffle” on a decision to preserve a relationship, you're actually weakening it.

Would you trust someone who couldn't give you a straight answer about their availability or interest? Would you trust someone who says yes and does not fulfill their duties?

Likely, no. Especially in a professional setting, you may never refer that person or hire them.

Maybe Mode is the Enemy.

Every no makes space for the right yes. A few guiding questions:

• Does this opportunity move you toward your larger goals?

• Are you excited by this, or just afraid of missing out? (FOMO)

• Will saying yes stretch you in ways you want to grow, or in ways that drain you?

By filtering decisions through these lenses, you create room for the right ‘yes’—one that aligns with your skills, goals, and values.

For further reading, here’s a book rec:

If you’re in a listening mood, open up HBR IdeaCast on Decision Making under Pressure and if you don’t know how to say ‘No’ politely, check out this TedX.

Remember: Your clarity is currency. Spend it wisely. ✨

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The Daily Newsletter for Intellectually Curious Readers

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Join for free today!

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Got more feedback or want to get in touch? Reply here and I’ll get back to you.

Thanks for reading!

Sincerely,

Lauren and the Connections team

ISSUE 025

Dear readers,

Tomorrow is my birthday. The 25th. And today, I share issue 025. Coincidence?! 😄

I want to offer a very special treat for you all.

Last week, I got vulnerable. This week, we’re changing it up with a case study. According to our survey, that’s one of the most highly requested types of content you all are asking for. So without further ‘ado’ (what does that mean anyway?), this week I want to reveal a buzzing case study in relationship-first company building.

This company has done so well with their relationship-building tactics that I was an immediate purchaser of their software (which you’re reading from).

Gone are the days of Company brands. The days of Personal Brands (sometimes inside Companies) are here to stay. Don’t just take it from me, read it from McKinsey.

📌 If you happen to find this in your Spam, please place this email in your ‘Primary’ inbox [Gmail], ‘VIPs’ [Apple], or ‘Safe Sender’ list [Outlook]. Thank you for helping our deliverability!

🐝 HOW A MISSPELLED BRAND GOT PEOPLE TO CARE

You know what's fascinating about the creator economy? It's not just about what you build—it's about who builds with you.

Let me introduce you to Beehiiv (yes, two i's), a newsletter operating system that's turning customers into raving fans, much less a community, through intentional relationship building.

And I'm not just saying this because I use their platform (which, full transparency, I do!). I took 12+ hours analyzing their relationship-first customer strategy to share it all today with you.

So if you enjoyed this version of Connections, please tell me in the poll at the bottom!

What’s the buzz?

Beehiiv is a newsletter creator toolkit. It has cool features like the ad network (thank you for clicking on those ads!💰), a self-hosted website, and 3D analytics.

But come on, what really won me over was their relationship-building strategy.

Relationships are the new growth engines.

Beehiiv’s Go-To-Market (GTM) strategy blends personal branding, fostering meaningful connections, and empowering creators to scale.

Who runs this thing?

1. The “Build in Public” Founder 🏗️ - Tyler Denk

The “build in public” (BID) movement embodies modern-day entrepreneurs. As mostly a B2C company, Beehiiv takes some of these lessons to heart to share the up’s and down’s of building a newsletter business in Tyler’s investor letters.

What makes the BID approach powerful?

• Shares both wins and struggles

• Responds to users directly

• Makes technical updates feel like exciting milestones we're all part of

2. The Wild Card Employee 🃏 - Daniel Berk

Enter Daniel, their sales lead who's cracked the code on LinkedIn engagement in the most unexpected way: by being wonderfully, strategically chaotic.

His strategy?

His personal brand works because it breaks through the LinkedIn monotony while making newsletter tech feel... human.

You find yourself thinking, "Who lets this guy post like this?"

And then you realize—that's exactly the point.

More than that, in one of many of his viral LinkedIn posts, Daniel shared a real-time customer story about Beehiiv’s agility. At 9:10 PM, a creator texted him with a problem, and Daniel responded with a solution before midnight. Alright, maybe it was a bit creepy. However, this anecdote is more than a great customer support story—it’s a testament to Beehiiv’s commitment to creators.

3. The Community Amplifier 📣🐝 - The Brand behind the Bee

Their head of social media is wonderful at making customers feel seen:

• Actively resharing customer wins (they shared my newsletter too!)

• Celebrating user milestones like they're company achievements

• Creating a feedback loop where customer success = platform success

The New Growth Engine: Making People Feel Welcome 💫

What Beehiiv understands is this: in 2025, features don't win markets—relationships do.

They've turned their platform into a community by:

• Treating customers like partners in their journey

• Building in public so everyone feels part of the story

• Making technical support feel like friend support (truly)

• Creating multiple touchpoints for engagement (not just support tickets)

When customers feel like insiders, they become natural ambassadors.

I mean, look at me—I'm literally writing a whole newsletter about them! That's not because they asked me to; it's because they made me feel part of something bigger than just another SaaS subscription.

How You Can Apply Beehiiv’s Lessons

Beehiiv’s success offers valuable lessons for operators looking to scale their own businesses or communities:

1. Leverage Personal Branding: Whether you’re a CEO or in sales, your story is your biggest asset. Use it to drive sales—which today, means building trust and credibility.

2. Focus on Connections: Your audience isn’t just customers—they’re potential advocates. Invest in building meaningful relationships. Loyalty wins.

3. Leveraging Word-of-Mouth: Deliver exceptional value and actively promote your customer’s success stories, turn users into evangelists.

4. Create a Community: A product is great, but a community is better. Beehiiv has a dedicated Slack channel. Foster connections among your users to create a network effect for point #3.

5. Adapt Rapidly: Listen to your users and respond quickly. Your responsiveness will set you apart from competitors.

6. Help your customers win: Share insights about growth within your industry arena. This helps position you as a thought leader, not a salesman.

7. Build your own box: Perhaps the "unprofessional" approach is the most professional move you can make (oh, Daniel)

Conclusion

Beehiiv isn’t just a newsletter platform—it’s a connection engine, a growth accelerator, and a champion for creators. Through a relentless focus on personal branding, fostering connections, and listening to its users, Beehiiv has carved out a unique position in its own industry inside the creator economy.

The Beehiiv strategy shows us that in the age of AI and automation, genuine human connection isn't just nice to have—it's a competitive advantage.

And maybe that's why they spell their name with two i's.

Because in relationship building,
it's not about "me" — it's about "we" 👁️👄👁️

(Okay, that was cheesy, but you get the point!)

Interested in creating an account with Beehiiv? Get a 30-day free trial and 20% off the first 3 months here.

🎷 OUR SUPPORT THIS WEEK

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Sign up today!

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Got more feedback or want to get in touch? Reply here 🙂 

Hope you enjoyed this one! Let me know!

Sincerely,

Lauren and the Connections team

ISSUE 024

Welcome back to Connections, where we explore the art of building meaningful networks and turning them into your greatest asset.

If you’re a regular subscriber you may have noticed—no email last week. And for that, I apologize! I got a little carried away in responsibilities with my newest newsletter clients (woot! but also… a lot of work!)

Let’s get into a dirty topic this week, ‘cause we’re diving into enemies.
But before we get into it —

Two weeks ago, we asked you: Who would be your dream connection in 2025?
Here’s what you shared:

Looks like we’ve got a 4-way tie!

You guys are business-minded, finance-focused, and innovative am I right?

Now, onto our regular scheduled programming.

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🏂 KEEP YOUR ENEMIES CLOSE

Have you ever opened a social media platform to discover —

Someone unfollowed you?

Last week, I noticed that a former colleague—let's call them Alex—had removed our connection on LinkedIn.

I wanted to refer Alex to a web3 networked connection, who was considering the company Alex worked for in their professional next step.

Alex and I had worked together for a year on several high-stakes projects.
Well, here’s what happened. The last mini-conversation I asked of them on LinkedIn was the question—why’d they extend their work at our former employer by 2 months? The context is we were both let go on the same day; as well as ½ the company.

I tried to lead with curiosity, but perhaps it came across differently. (And apparently, this wasn't unique to Alex—several other former colleagues had also extended their resumes online).

The disconnection realization stung.

But it taught me something powerful about professional relationships that I hadn't considered before.

Well, not everyone in your professional network needs to be your cheerleader.

And let’s face it, I guess we’re enemies now.

(This is harsh and untrue, but let’s go with it for the sake of copy)

The Hidden Value of "Enemies"

Here's something counterintuitive: The people who challenge us most often drive our greatest improvements. They:

• Force us to strengthen our arguments and convictions

• Help us develop resilience in professional settings

• Push us to question our assumptions and biases

• Make us more adaptable and strategic

Think about it: Would you rather have 500 connections who always agree with you, or 5 who push you to grow?

‘Enemy’ professional relationships carry a unique weight. They force us to confront uncomfortable truths about professional bonds.

The Complex Nature of Professional Relationships

When companies downsize, it's not just jobs that get restructured—it's entire relationship networks. The question I asked Alex was more than curiosity, it was about understanding a deeper layer of our connection to each other in the context of the industry we worked in.

Why? At that time, I was struggling with my place in ‘Web3’ and I wanted to speak to someone I respected, who also was an A-Player at our former workplace.

Every professional connection represents:

• Future collaboration possibilities

• Access to different market insights

• Potential referral pathways

• Career opportunities

But when we let emotions drive disconnection, we're not just losing a LinkedIn contact—we're closing doors we might need later.

Bad Blood for Business

Here's a hard truth: The professional world is smaller than we think. That person you're avoiding today might be connected to your dream opportunity.

Smart professionals know: Burning bridges doesn't just eliminate one connection—it can impact entire networks.

The key is to keep emotions in check and stay focused on professional value.

The Professional Growth Paradox

The people who challenge us most often drive our greatest improvements. They:

• Force us to strengthen our arguments

• Push us to question our assumptions

• Help us develop thicker skin

• Make us more adaptable

Looking back at my interaction with Alex, I missed an opportunity. Instead of asking about their extended stay, I could have just shut up and kept the connection ‘professional,’ albeit likely still a bit cold.

That way, once tensions of our mutual layoff subsided, I could have continued the warm network handshake to someone in my network.

Alright, so let’s review.

The Professional’s Perspective

Ask yourself:

• Who in your professional life do you consider an "enemy"?

• How can you reach out to them to check in (politely)?

• How can you transform that friction into fuel for growth?

Sometimes, the people who challenge us most are actually giving us a gift—the gift of growth, self-awareness, and resilience.

Not every professional relationship needs to be positive to be valuable. Sometimes, the most growth comes from the connections that make us most uncomfortable.

And who knows?

Today's "enemy" might become tomorrow's ally.

But even if they don't, they've already given you something valuable: a chance to grow.

In business, there are no permanent enemies—only temporary misalignments of interest. The best professionals know how to keep doors open, even when rooms get chilly.

Stay warm folks!

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🎶 OUR WEEKLY PLAYLIST

This was a vulnerable one for me. Hope you all enjoyed and got to reflect on your own professional relationships.

Reply here if you want to share your own story of (dis)connection.

I got your back.

Sincerely,

Lauren and the Connections team

ISSUE 023

Welcome back in 2025!

If you missed last week's letter, it's not too late to send a "thank you for 2024” to your connections from last year.

In this week's issue, we’ll discuss why New Year's resolutions are useless without a solid network. Plus, we'll share 5 lessons from an infamous relationship quote that can create new connections in 2025.

As you map out your goals for the year, think less about what you want to achieve and more about who you want to grow alongside.

In this same mindset…

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🏂 THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU DEFINE YOUR FUTURE
Why this is true, and what to do about it.

As the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve, a wave of optimism sweeps across the world. Social media floods with promises of a “new me” mantras, gym memberships spike, and affirmation planners fly off the shelves.

But how do you commit to this mantra?

Unpopular opinion:

It's thanks to your network.

New years are not about becoming a completely new person.

Real transformation lies in surrounding yourself with the people who:

• inspire you

• support you

• challenge your ideas

• keep you accountable

• have complementary strengths

You’ve probably heard the saying: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” by Jim Rohn.

This idea isn’t just motivational fluff; it’s rooted in psychology. Your closest connections influence your mindset, habits, and trajectory. Their energy, ideas, and support—or lack thereof—play a pivotal role in shaping who you are.

The people we surround ourselves with have the biggest influence on our behaviors, our attitudes, and our results.

Take this from Darren Hardy, former publisher of SUCCESS magazine:

So, as we step into a new year, let’s pivot away from the pressure to reinvent ourselves. Instead, let’s focus on evolving through our networks.

Action Steps

• Audit Your Circle: 

  • Reflect on your closest relationships. Are they aligned with the person you want to become? If not, (please do not tell them "goodbye”) — intentionally message someone who you want to be part of your inner circle this month.

• Actively Construct Your Bubble:

  • Don't be limited by proximity or serendipity.

  • Consider the attitudes and life philosophies you want to surround yourself with in your 2025 social environment.

• Set Connection Micro-Goals:

  • Reconnect with 3 old contacts this month. People who have inspired you.

  • Attend 1 networking event where you can meet like-minded individuals. Check out the best skill when networking in letter #20: Kill Your Assumptions, to prepare for in-person meetups.

  • Cultivate one deeper relationship with a peer, mentor, or friend.

• Be the Person You Want to Attract: Relationships are reciprocal. Be a source of positivity, curiosity, and value for others.

• Create a Habit Stack: Pair your goals with existing habits. For example, message a new connection while drinking your morning coffee. That's what Avni Barman does every morning.

Now you've likely heard the phrase, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

Let's break it down in 5 lessons:

Lesson #1:

Keep your critics around. You need to have a devil's advocate—not a negative person, but someone who causes you to rethink decisions before making a move. This one was the most difficult for me to understand!

Lesson #2:

Join online communities to find people who you can relate to your situation; such as ADHD business owners or parents navigating freelancing. Create your own mastermind group. Or (!) join one of our upcoming Connections networking hours—you can be subscribed to the Connections Lu.ma page to stay updated.

Lesson #3:

Control who you spend time with, and identify anyone who brings you down or has a negative influence on you. Be intentional. Quality over quantity every time.

Lesson #4:

Avoid surrounding yourself with negative people. Don't let your social environment solely depend on how it has always been in the past.

Lesson #5:

Be one of the 5 people to someone else! Teach what you know and help others improve their lives. In order to be respected by others, first respect yourself and hone in on your strengths.

Now ask yourself:

Are the people you spend the most time with the same people that you admire?

This one was difficult for me to come to terms with.

In the middle of December, I had to protect my time from a childhood friend to whom I consistently said 'yes'—and always felt confused and demotivated afterward. This individual is against AI and self-development concepts, which are at the core of my life. So, I had to decline a meeting and suggest that we meet up in a group setting one day instead of one-on-one.

Although it can be difficult, 2025 is a year for prioritizing growth-minded individuals.

📚 CONNECTIONS IN HISTORY
Where we share a powerful connection that changed the world.

Gayle King and Oprah (right) in a Best Friend Cover Shoot

Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King's friendship highlight the power of collaboration in business partnerships. Oprah built a media empire while Gayle became a respected journalist and advisor, consistently supporting each other’s careers.

Their complementary skills—Oprah’s visionary storytelling and Gayle’s detailed journalism—deepened their bond.

Takeaway: Foster relationships with those who challenge, support, and complement you in achieving success.

🎶 OUR PLAYLIST, UPDATED WEEKLY

Got more feedback or want to get in touch? Reply here and I’ll get back to you.

Sincerely,

Lauren and the Connections team

ISSUE 022

Welcome to the awkward couple of days between Christmas (Hannukah too!) and New Year’s.

There is no better time than now to stand out in the minds of your network—I mean, to express gratitude to your 2024 connections.

Gratitude messages can be equally self-serving, scientifically, and of course socially beneficial (read the science of gratitude in our Thanksgiving issue here).

This week is not about the science. This week is for tactics. Scroll below for plug-and-play messages for 10 different connections you may have made this year.

Choose 2 of these and see what happens.

Let’s create those ripple effects in 2025.

📌 If you happen to find this in your Spam, please place this email in your ‘Primary’ inbox [Gmail], ‘VIPs’ [Apple], or ‘Safe Sender’ list [Outlook]. Thank you for helping our deliverability!

🖥️ TACTICAL THANK YOU MESSAGES TO END THE YEAR
Thank me later, thank them now.

You have made an incredible number of connections in 2024. All of these individuals have led to where you are today.

It’s important to thank your connections for their efforts. Reciprocity can lead to significant benefits over time.

However, you may also be exhausted from the stress of the holidays. I get it!

So let’s make this easy—

Here are plug-and-play templates you can use for different relationships you made in 2025.

(Anyone remember Mad Libs?)

Just fill in the blanks and hit send!

⬇️

1. For a Coffee Chat ☕️

“Hi [Name],

I’m reflecting on the meaningful conversations I had in 2024, and our coffee chat in [month] stands out. Thank you for taking the time to share your insights on [topic discussed]. Your advice on [specific advice] has already made a difference in [specific way]. Wishing you a fantastic start to 2025!”

2. For a Client Relationship 🤹🏼‍♂️

“Dear [Name],

As 2025 begins, I wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude for working together on [specific project]. Your collaboration and expertise were invaluable in achieving [specific result]. Looking forward to more success at [company] this year.”

3. For a Job Referral 💼

“Hello [Name],

Happy New Year! I’m so grateful for the referral you provided to [Company/Contact Name]. [Share what happened from that experience, either you got the job or didn’t, the process ideally helped open doors or gave you insights]. Thank you for believing in my potential and supporting my career journey. Wishing you all the best in 2025!”

4. For a Mentor 👴🏽

“Hi [Name],

As we move into 2025, I’ve been reflecting on the people who had the biggest impact on my growth last year. Your guidance during [specific experience] has been a cornerstone of my development. Thank you for always challenging and supporting me. Here’s to another year of growth and learning!”

5. For a Team Member 👦🏻

“Hi [Name],

Happy 2025! I want to thank you for your hard work on [specific project/task]. Your dedication and creativity made a real impact, and I’m so grateful to have you as part of the team. Looking forward to more successes together this year!”

6. For a Networking Connection 🙋🏼‍♀️

“Hi [Name],

I’m reaching out to say thank you for connecting with me this past year. Our conversation on [specific topic] was truly inspiring, and it’s connections like these that make my work meaningful. Wishing you a wonderful start to 2025!”

7. For an Industry Peer 🧑🏽‍🚀

“Hi [Name],

As we enter 2025, I wanted to thank you for your insights during [specific event or discussion] have truly helped me understand [specific topic] better. Looking forward to collaborating and learning more from you this year. Wishing you great success in 2025!”

8. For a Conference Speaker 🎤

“Hi [Name],

I wanted to thank you for your impactful presentation at [specific conference/event]. Your talk on [specific topic] gave me actionable insights that I’ve already started to implement. Wishing you continued success and looking forward to staying connected in 2025!”

9. For a Service Provider or Vendor 🏷️

"Dear [Name],
As we kick off 2025, I wanted to extend my gratitude for your support with [specific service/project]. Your reliability and quality of work were instrumental in helping us meet our goals. Looking forward to continuing our partnership this year!"

10. For a Professional Group or Organization Leader 🏘️

"Hi [Name],
I’m reaching out to express my appreciation for the leadership you’ve shown in [specific group or organization]. Being part of [organization] has been incredibly rewarding, and your guidance in [specific event/initiative] has been inspiring. Looking forward to what 2025 brings!"

Choose 2 which you’d like to send right now.

Customize it to your liking, but take the sentiment with you when you press Send.

Your connections will thank you.

And remember you in 2025!

💬 BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS
Let’s kickstart 2025 with tools to build your creativity and connections.

The 2-Hour Cocktail Party The best way to expand your network is to host your own parties! The author Nick Gray is a serial entrepreneur… (and an introvert!) with a knack for getting people together.

The Artist’s Way Successfully recommended this book to no less than 6 people in 2024, ½ of whom said it changed their life. If you love workbooks, then this book will challenge you to unlock your creativity in the new year. Comes highly recommended from entrepreneurs like Tim Ferriss, Codie Sanchez, and Noah Kagan.

The Four Agreements This is a book I’ve gifted to friends over the years because it’s 1) inexpensive, 2) short, and 3) packed with wisdom on how to interact with others. This book could change how you see interactions with yourself and with others.

Never Split the Difference People are not always easy to manage, especially when it comes to financial matters. This book helped me avoid a lawyer (long story) and get my invoices paid from a client in early 2024. If that resonates in any way, check out this book from a Georgetown professor and former FBI officer.

Let me know if you snag any of these books.

📚 CONNECTIONS IN HISTORY
Where we share a powerful connection that changed the world.

Socrates (left) and Plato (right)

If it were not for Ryan Holiday, we would not have modern stoic thinking. But if it were not for Plato, we would not have had this wisdom written down.

[Speaking of which, Holiday’s newest book of 2024, Right Thing, Right Now has been recommended to me as an excellent look into the virtues to be upheld in relationships]

Plato and Socrates’ wisdom would not have existed without the other.

Socrates—for his mentorship and teachings, and Plato—for the writing down of Socratic thought, and the expansion of ancient philosophy.

Great connections support each other through shared knowledge.

As you nurture your connections, consider the legacy you can build together.

🎶 OUR PLAYLIST, UPDATED WEEKLY

Got more feedback or want to get in touch? Reply here and I’ll get back to you.

Here’s to building stronger connections in 2025!

Sincerely,

Lauren and the Connections team

ISSUE 021

Yesterday I met an older businessman in Jacksonville, with the backstory of your typical New Yorker. Investment banker. Has Ringo’s phone number. Produced a TV show. Entering Ai now. However, what I found most interesting about his AI go-to-market agency was that he played a little game with his business partner: who can land the most leads?

His partner was the DM type—uses LinkedIn Sales Navigator to

Him—the networker.

Who consistently wins? You guessed it.

The networker—he not only closes more clients, but he also has the shortest time to signature. Now that’s important!

Friends, I’m asking you this one more time to gather the right data!

📌 If you happen to find this in your Spam, please place this email in your ‘Primary’ inbox [Gmail], ‘VIPs’ [Apple], or ‘Safe Sender’ list [Outlook]. Thank you for helping our deliverability!

🖥️ RESPECT THEIR SPACE

A connection thrives on mutual understanding—and it dies without boundaries.

A friend of mine has been dealing with someone who just won’t take no for an answer. They keep pushing for an opportunity that doesn’t align with his work, and while he’s been polite, the persistence is draining him.

It’s a reminder of how vital it is to respect someone’s boundaries—especially during the holidays.

This time of year is already overwhelming. People are juggling work, family, and personal goals. I know I’ve felt it. I haven’t even had the chance to sit down and write the gratitude Christmas letters I usually write every year.

Pushing someone who’s already stretched thin doesn’t build connection—it creates frustration. Instead, the most thoughtful thing you can do is honor their space.

We’ve all been there: eager to connect, help, or collaborate, only to push too far without realizing it. Sometimes, the most important lesson in building meaningful relationships is recognizing when to step back.

Here’s what to learn:

❌ No isn’t maybe. A polite decline is not an invitation to negotiate. Respecting someone’s "no" shows you value their autonomy more than your agenda.

✨ Silence speaks. If someone doesn’t respond, it’s not always a green light to follow up endlessly. Sometimes, silence is their way of saying, “Not now.”

🌿 Space nurtures trust. Giving someone room to breathe creates the possibility for future connection. Forcing the issue erodes trust faster than any misstep.

So, how can we navigate this gracefully?

1️⃣ Pause and reflect. Before pushing further, ask yourself: Am I respecting their boundaries, or am I acting out of my own need?

2️⃣ Lead with empathy. Acknowledge their decision without judgment. Example: “I understand. If it makes sense later, I’d still love to review this proposal in 2025.”

3️⃣ Move on gracefully. Not every connection will happen, and that’s okay. Shifting your energy elsewhere creates space for relationships that are ready to flourish.

True connection doesn’t come from persistence. It comes from understanding.

Because the best way to strengthen a relationship is to honor the other person’s boundaries.

And what happens when you do give up?

You’ll find that sometimes, respecting a “no” leads to a more meaningful “yes” down the road.

💬 COMMUNICATION TIP
Where you get an experimental prompt for human conversations.

When trying to meet someone, instead of:

❌ "What time works for you?"

Try this...

✅ "Do you have 30min availability on Monday the 23rd between 2-4pm EST?”
​
​Remember to...

Be proactive! Instead of going back and forth over email, suggest some times and give folks something to work with.
I personally love using TidyCal; it’s more cost-effective than Calendly.

📚 CONNECTIONS IN HISTORY
Where we share a powerful connection that changed the world.

Paul Allen (L) and Bill Gates (R) in 1981

In the halls of Lakeside School in Seattle during the late 1960s, Paul Allen and Bill Gates crossed paths in a small, exclusive computer club.

Two teens. A shared obsession with computers. A meeting that almost didn’t happen.

Allen, the quiet visionary, showed Gates, the highly competitive analyst, the infinite possibilities of programming. Although different by nature, together, they clicked.

By 1975, that serendipitous connection birthed Microsoft—a company that transformed the world of technology forever.

Their story is proof: a one-chance meeting can spark a partnership that changes everything.

🎶 OUR PLAYLIST, UPDATED WEEKLY

Got more feedback or want to get in touch? Reply here and I’ll get back to you.

Thanks for reading!

Sincerely,

Lauren and the Connections team

ISSUE 020

Last night I attended an event hosted by Jax Tech on the EV and autonomous vehicle industry. With so many unknown faces walking around, I was reminded how awkward in-person networking can be—even for people like myself! I guess that’s why an open bar helps (although I don’t partake).

I much prefer online networking because there are time constraints, and you can use an app like Fathom to help you remember the important parts. 

As a digital-first networker, I would highly recommend Blinq for your in-person networking needs (iPhone App).

At this event, it also struck me how important the information in these newsletters would be on a different day of the week—to prepare for those in-person networking events or video calls for the rest of the week. Which is why I am considering the day which these letters will go out!

So I’d love to ask you in this December rebrand poll,

📌 If you happen to find this in your Spam, please place this email in your ‘Primary’ inbox [Gmail], ‘VIPs’ [Apple], or ‘Safe Sender’ list [Outlook]. Thank you for helping our deliverability!

🎩 NETWORKING TIP

Curiosity cracked the D.C. code

When I first moved to Washington, D.C., I encountered something I hadn’t experienced so strongly anywhere else.

Conversations here came with a built-in assumption: that you already knew.
The acronyms, the policy jargon, the inside ”Nationals” references.

Well, the DMV is the most well-educated area in the USA.

People weren’t being rude. It was just how they communicated.
They assumed you were part of the club, and the unspoken rule was:
Always add more input. Don’t ask questions.

For a while, I nodded along, adding more and more value per the norm.
But the truth is, pretending to understand only builds walls, while curiosity breaks them down.

So, I tried something different.
I started asking:

• Can you explain that term? I’m not familiar.

• What inspired that perspective?

• How does this fit into the bigger picture?

And you know what happened?

Honestly, some people were shocked.
But most others opened up more, eager to share their knowledge.
Connections deepened because I wasn’t afraid to admit what I didn’t know.

Here’s what I’ve learned:
Ignorance—of the curious kind—opens doors that assumptions close.

Instead of guessing what someone brings to the table, ask:

• What excites you about your work?

• What’s been on your mind lately?

• What brought you to this project/event/conversation?

Curiosity turns a passing interaction into a meaningful relationship.

It’s strategic, too.

I remember this well from the book How to Win Friends and Influence People, recommended early in my career by my dad.

When you ask thoughtful questions, you follow Carnegie’s principles of showing genuine interest and making others feel valued. This approach fosters goodwill and creates lasting impressions that lead to deeper, more meaningful connections.

Strategically, curiosity helps you:

➤ Build rapport effortlessly: People love to talk about themselves. Asking questions makes them feel heard and appreciated.

➤ Find common ground: By being genuinely interested, you discover shared interests or goals that can lead to collaboration.

➤ Unlock hidden opportunities: Curiosity uncovers motivations, challenges, and ideas that might otherwise go unnoticed.

Showing interest in others is one of the simplest yet most effective ways to win trust.

Trust wins you a connection.

And connections? They win you opportunities.

So the next time you’re tempted to assume, remember this: curiosity isn’t just polite—it’s powerful.

Ask the questions others won’t. Show interest where others don’t.

Because when you lead with curiosity, you don’t just build relationships.

You build bridges. 🌉

💬 CONVERSATION STARTER OF THE WEEK
Where you get an experimental IRL prompt for human conversations.

You don’t have to feel stuck in the dreaded Zoom call

On your next group call while everyone is waiting for others to roll on it, ask that one person in the room:

Why it works:

• It unlocks values, dreams, and interests.

• It catches people off guard in the best way.

• It sparks storytelling which invites engaging follow-up conversation.

The secret to great conversations is all in how you start. ✨ 

📚 CONNECTIONS IN HISTORY
Where we share a powerful connection that changed the world.

Paul McCartney and John Lennon

McCartney had the melodic genius; Lennon had the lyrical edge. Together, they formed The Beatles, shaping the sound of modern music and leaving a legacy that still inspires generations.

Proof that the right connection can change culture forever.

🎶 OUR PLAYLIST, UPDATED WEEKLY

👇🏻 Choose your platform👇🏾

Got more feedback or want to get in touch? Reply here and I’ll get back to you.

Thanks for reading!

Sincerely,

Lauren and the Connections team

ISSUE 019

This is Connections, the weekly newsletter for community and network builders who know that relationships are the key to everything—real results and real revenue all from building rapport. 

Hey! Just a quick reminder—I’m Lauren, previously the author of Bread & Rose Work Club, now rebranded to Connections the Letter. After thoughtful consideration, I realized that the future of work is in people. Look around, and there are many Ai newsletters. We aim to be the alter-ego here, where we focus on the parts we love about AI (productivity, profit, efficiency), but apply them to the connection realm.

That said, the content you see will be evolving—and I need your input! Over the last few weeks of December, I’ll be asking a poll a week to revamp for 2025.

Also, check out that new domain we’re emailing you from 😎 

📌 If you happen to find this in your Spam, please place this email in your ‘Primary’ inbox [Gmail], ‘VIPs’ [Apple], or ‘Safe Sender’ list [Outlook]. Thank you for helping our deliverability!

🖥️ MEET YOUR NEXT BEST CONNECTOR

Monsieur Boardy

This week I found someone who may be the next best connector in your life.

Well, maybe not someone—something?

Meet Boardy.ai, an Ai assistant that listens to your needs and connects you with the perfect collaborator, investor, or client. The voice is so real, you’ll forget it’s Ai.

I got on a call with Boardy, who has an Australian male accent, and it repeated back info on my LinkedIn profile. But the call was so lifelike, that I gave it even more information about myself (including the rebrand pivot), and it connected me with more people I would not have considered otherwise.

The downside? It recommended someone I already knew well (Patrick McCrann) and only managed to suggest 3 new connections. Right now, the database feels limited, and it needs more users like us to unlock its full potential.

Message Boardy on LinkedIn today to claim a spot in their database and unlock doors to more relationships.

📣 PRESENTED BY 1440 MEDIA

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💬 CONVERSATION STARTER OF THE WEEK
Where you get an experimental IRL prompt for human conversations.

The Zoom call starts, and someone says, “Can everyone hear me?” or “How’s the weather?” Cue the collective sigh.

How about try this instead:

Why it works:

• Sparks creativity and imagination—instantly engaging everyone.

• Reveals personality and preferences—making the conversation more personal.

• Creates energy and sets a positive tone for the call—encouraging others to share openly.

The secret to great conversations is all in how you start. ✨ 

📚 CONNECTIONS IN HISTORY
Where we share a powerful connection that changed the world.

Steve Wozniak (L) and Steve Jobs (R) in 1975

Jobs had the vision; Wozniak had the engineering brilliance. Together, they turned a garage project into Apple, revolutionizing technology and design forever.

Proof that the right connection can change the world.

So who’s your Wozniak (or Jobs)?

🎶 OUR PLAYLIST, UPDATED WEEKLY

👇🏻 Choose your platform👇🏾

Hey! If you’re a true fan of this letter, then you may remember voting for our rebrand name in this letter. As you well know, none of those names were selected. I do want to thank you all for voting and so if you are one of the 17 individuals who voted, expect a special letter from me!

Got more feedback or want to get in touch? Reply here and I’ll get back to you.

Thanks for reading!

Sincerely,

Lauren and the Connections team

Dear readers,

A Happy Thanksgiving to all! I am so grateful to have this space where we can connect through the written word and expand our minds in what matters most in this life: our relationships.

Good relationships make health and wealth come easy.

So this week in the Harvest spirit, let's learn why one relationship-driven practice can help increase our capacity for connection — leading to far-reaching benefits.

So as you read the following, please ask yourself, what are you grateful for?

What's Coming Up

• 🔗 This Week's Links

• 📓 018 | The Gratitude Economy

  • ✣ The Science of Gratitude: Why It Works

  • ✣ Turn Relationships into Revenue

  • ✣ An Effective Gratitude Practice

  • ✣ Why Gratitude Is Profitable

  • ✣ Gratitude in Action

• 🎶 Playlist

• 📣 Sponsor

🔗 This Week's Links

📓 018 | The Gratitude Economy

Welcome back to this week's edition of the letter where I'll share some of what I learned from hosting the Connection Power-Hours.

Read ahead for professional insights that may encourage you to run your networking hour in your company or community.

p.s. If you're following along, you may notice the discrepancy between 98 and 99 from this post. What I now realize is — I was the 99th! A good lesson here is to remember your work affects you too.

What's Coming Up

• 📓 017 | What I learned from Connecting 99 People …

  • Lesson 1: Friends, First

  • Lesson 2: After Close Connections, Curation Begins …

  • Lesson 4: The Power of Vulnerability

  • Lesson 5: People Want to be Nudged

  • Final Thoughts

• ⚡️ Updates

• 🎶 Playlist

• 📣 Sponsor

• 📥 Suggestions

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This week we're preparing the sails for the relaunch.

You won't find the usual scheduled insights but rather the results of last week's poll, a short q&a behind the scenes, a vibe check and of course updates to our playlist.

Thank you for your continual support to all 170 readers!

What's Coming Up

• 📓 016 | In-Between the Rebrand

  • × Q&A: Why the rebrand?

  • × Q&A: What will be different after the rebrand?

  • × Q&A: What if I came here for the Future of Work …

  • × Q&A: When can we expect the new name to be annou …

• ⚡️ Updates

• 🎶 Playlist

• 📣 Sponsor