This Just In

A New Chapter for This Just In

Jeannette Reyes — Sun, 29 Jun 2025 17:45:00 +0000

Hi friend,

We're growing and evolving. Over the past year, This Just In has grown to nearly 10,000 subscribers (wild), and with every issue, I receive dozens of emails and DMs, including personal stories, strong opinions, and encouraging notes. And I often find myself wishing more people could see them.

That's why we're making a change. Starting now, this newsletter is moving to Substack. It'll still arrive straight to your inbox, just like always, but now it also lives on a public page where you can:

Catch up on past issues
Leave comments
See what others are saying
Join a bigger, more interactive conversation

What you need to know: You don't need to do anything. If you're reading this, you're all set. Just keep an eye out for future emails from This Just In via Substack. If you don't see them, check your promotions or spam folder and drag them to your inbox.

This shift is all about building community and sharing more of your voices. I'm grateful you're part of this journey.

I’m so glad you’re here! If you’re enjoying these emails, here’s how you can continue to support this newsletter:

Add msnewslady@substack.com to your contacts so you never miss a beat.
Connect with me on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, LinkedIn, and Threads.

Until Next Time,

The “This Just In” newsletter may have affiliate links included throughout the email, so if you buy through them, I get a small commission (at no extra cost to you!). I only recommend stuff I truly love, and if it's sponsored, I’ll disclose that it is a brand partnership. Thank you so much for your continued support.

What’s saving me this summer

Jeannette Reyes — Thu, 26 Jun 2025 12:56:00 +0000

Hey friend,

By the time you read this, I’ll be unpacking from my first trip of the summer—a solo shoot in LA—and getting ready to head right back out again.

One of the next trips is with my husband. Another includes my toddler and a few different Airbnbs across the Dominican Republic. Two are international. All of them are some mix of work and play.

This summer feels like both a sprint and a reward. That balance doesn’t happen on its own. It takes planning, intentional downtime, and a whole lot of packing cubes.

So in case your summer is looking a little full too, here’s what’s helping me stay grounded through it all.

The Schedule (Without the Spiral)

I’m bouncing between LA, the DR, Chicago, Cleveland, and finally Europe for our anniversary. Each trip serves a different part of me:

LA was a solo trip for a Sephora shoot.
The DR is a mix of work and family where we're filming some cooking content for my mom’s channel, staying in different parts of the country, and vlogging for the first time on my YouTube channel.
It’s also Bella’s first time at summer camp in the DR, part of our ongoing effort to raise her bilingual and ensure she’s deeply connected to her Dominican roots.
Chicago is a family trip for Robert’s dad’s birthday.
NABJ in Cleveland will be for a journalism conference I attended for years back when newsroom deadlines and breaking news were part of my daily life.
Europe is for our ninth wedding anniversary, and it promises to be romantic, celebratory, and hopefully a little restorative.

Even with all the moving parts, I’ve learned how to stay rooted. But only if I’m honest about what I need to make it through in one piece.

My Travel Toolkit

These are the habits, tools, and systems that keep me steady while I’m on the move:

What’s saving my suitcase:

Packing cubes to keep everything organized and avoid digging through a suitcase for one outfit
Pre-planned outfits for every day of the trip, helping me avoid decision fatigue in the morning
A realistic daily schedule: one must-do, everything else is optional

What’s always in my carry-on:

Mini stain remover spray (put in a travel size bottle like this)
Lint roller
DJI camera
Laptop
Cable organizer for multiple cords and adapters
Quick makeup refresh kit
Portable charger
Lotion, hand sanitizer, glasses, gum

Rituals That Keep Me Grounded

Whether I’m alone, with my family, or filming content, these small rhythms make me feel like me—no matter where I am.

Pilates in the morning. Even if I modify or stream it from my phone, it helps me reset.
A real coffee shop moment. Not a to-go cup. I want to sit, sip, and people-watch. Before every trip, I look up the best cafés in the area.
A room to myself. Especially when traveling with others, even a few quiet minutes can reset everything.

What Each Trip Represents

Each trip on the calendar speaks to a different part of who I am right now.

L.A. was a reminder of how far I’ve come in this pivot. I used to worry about PTO and breaking news. Now I get to fly across the country for a brand shoot I’m genuinely excited about.
The D.R. is about family, legacy, and language. We’re filming cooking videos with my mom, staying in different parts of the country, and making room for culture, memory, and a whole lot of Sancocho.
Chicago is a chance to pause and celebrate. Sometimes joy gets to be the only reason.
NABJ in Cleveland is a full-circle moment, and I’m returning as a speaker vs. an attendee..
Europe is for us. For romance and remembering who we were before Bella, the business, and the beautiful chaos.

Each trip feels like a mirror, holding something up to me—joy, rest, growth, and a quiet kind of pride. I'm trying to take them all in, one by one.

If you’re heading into a busy season yourself, let this be your permission slip to build a little breathing room into your calendar. Leave time for the coffee. The nature. The skincare routine. Whatever reminds you that you’re still in the driver’s seat.

And if you’ve got a summer ritual or non-negotiable of your own, I’d love to hear it. Just hit reply.

What a WILD ride

Another travel must-have especially with kids

Robert’s new dance

Why We Struggle to Make (and Keep) Friends

More news you can use

You’ve been learning Spanish all wrong
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More on Bella going to summer camp

I’m so glad you’re here! If you’re enjoying these emails, here’s how you can continue to support this newsletter:

Add newsletter@msnewslady.com to your contacts so you never miss a beat.
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Until Next Time,

What good is winning alone?

Jeannette Reyes — Thu, 19 Jun 2025 12:56:00 +0000

Hey friend,

Until recently, I'd never told this story publicly before.

When people ask how I pivoted from TV news to content creation, I share the mechanics: the strategy, the timeline, the logistics. But lately, more people have been asking why I left.

And honestly? That's the harder question to answer.

On paper, the job looked perfect. Status, steady salary, and the "you made it" energy that comes with being on television. I worked relentlessly to get there. So when I tell people I wanted more, I can see the confusion. It feels almost ungrateful, like I had a coveted seat at the table and still asked for more space.

However, I've come to understand that I didn't leave because I was unhappy. I left because I hit a ceiling. Not just professionally, but generationally.

There were limits to how far I could go in traditional media, and more importantly, how many people I could bring with me. The structure was rigid, and the opportunities were finite.

Success meant climbing a ladder where only one person could stand at each rung.

I wanted to build something different. I wanted to build a longer table where my family could sit with me. Where my mom, my siblings, and even people I've never met back in the Dominican Republic could thrive.

Content creation gave me that possibility.

Take my mom. She spent most of her life in the background, holding everything (and everyone) together.

She raised us, sacrificed endlessly, and never asked for recognition. But now, in her 70s, she's stepping into her second act.

She's partnered with brands like Pampers, Gain, and Microsoft. She's launching her own cooking channel. She's teaching "Spanish in Less Than a Minute" on social media. After decades of supporting everyone else's dreams, she's finally pursuing her own.

Watching her discover confidence she never knew she had has been one of the most beautiful gifts of this journey.

This work evolved into something I never planned: a family ecosystem.

My husband left his news job to work alongside me. One of my sisters became my Chief Operating Officer. Another manages our affiliate strategy. My brother appears regularly in content. Ultimately, what started as a personal pivot became a collective one.

And the impact extends beyond our immediate family. I've been able to support extended relatives in the Dominican Republic through travel, shared experiences, and educational opportunities that would have been impossible on a single news salary.

My family comes from humble beginnings. These kinds of resources and experiences were never guaranteed. Now, they're not just possible; they're our reality.

I didn't initially broadcast this journey. Aside from announcing my departure from the news, I stayed relatively quiet about the deeper motivations.

Fear played a role. Would people stop taking me seriously once I became "just" a content creator?

Would the credibility I'd built over 12 years evaporate the moment I stepped outside traditional media?

But I had to bet on myself. I had to believe that success could be redefined—that it didn't have to be solitary to be meaningful.

The opportunities didn't materialize overnight. The fear never fully disappeared. But with each small win, each family member who joined the journey, each milestone we reached together, the vision became clearer.

Your dream doesn't have to mirror mine. You may not want to build with family or create content online. But I hope you'll ask yourself this fundamental question:

Who else gets to eat if this works?

That single question can carry you further than any strategic plan. It transforms ambition from selfish to sacred, from individual achievement to collective elevation.

When your success creates space for others to succeed, you're not just changing your life—you're changing your legacy.

Dream bigger. But don't dream alone.

Wild ride through genius and control

My fave luxury face cream

You’ve been learning Spanish all wrong

How to STOP Caring What People Think

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Our love story
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Until Next Time,

I wish I were cringier

Jeannette Reyes — Thu, 12 Jun 2025 12:56:00 +0000

Hey friend,

When people ask me what my biggest regret is, I don't have many. But looking back? I wish I were cringier.

Whether it was basketball, dancing, doing hair, or trying literally anything new, I’ve only done things I was naturally good at. I took being bad at something as a sign that I shouldn't be doing it. "Lean into your strengths," they say. And I did, religiously.

But here's what I'm learning: maybe we should lean into our weaknesses, too. Not to turn them into strengths, not to monetize them, not to become the next viral sensation. But just to experience the electric awkwardness of being terrible at something.

The Social Media Effect

We've been conditioned by perfectly curated feeds to believe that if you're not naturally gifted, it's not worth doing. Social media has weaponized our fear of looking foolish. Every post is a highlight reel: most aren’t showing their first wobbly attempt at roller skating or their voice cracking during karaoke. We tend to see the 10,000-hour experts, not the 10-minute beginners.

But what about the unglamorous reality? Someone genuinely struggling through month three of piano lessons, still hitting wrong notes. Someone in their tenth dance class, still stepping on toes. The long, slow, decidedly un-viral process of simply learning. For the sake of learning.

This constant exposure to either perfection (or perfectly packaged imperfection) has made us allergic to our own authentic learning curves.

The Neuroscience of Being a Beginner

Here's what happens when you push past the cringe: Your brain literally rewires itself. According to research from Harvard's Mind, Brain, and Education Program, neuroplasticity demonstrates that when people repeatedly practice an activity, their neural networks adapt to that activity. You're not just learning to salsa dance; you're teaching your brain to be comfortable with discomfort. You're building resilience at a cellular level.

But beyond the science, there's something human about embracing the awkward. When you let yourself be terrible at something publicly, you give everyone around you permission to be imperfect, too.

The Beauty of Being Bad

There's a specific kind of magic that only exists in the space between "I have no idea what I'm doing" and "I'm starting to get the hang of this." When you're an expert, you perform. When you're a beginner, you play.

Beyoncé once said, while rehearsing choreography that she couldn't nail: "You gotta be humble. You gotta be willing to look awkward." She wasn't talking about a one-time struggle. She was talking about the daily willingness to be seen stumbling through the steps.

Becoming a More Interesting Human

Here's what nobody tells you about trying things you're bad at: it makes you infinitely more interesting. When you have a little first-hand knowledge about everything, you become the person who can connect with anyone.

You can ask the pottery teacher informed questions about glazing techniques because you've tried (and failed) yourself. You can genuinely appreciate your friend's guitar progress because you know how hard that F chord is. You can have real conversations with the baker, the dancer, the gardener—not from a place of expertise, but from a place of shared experience.

These attempts give you texture, depth, and stories. In a world where everyone's trying to be an expert in one thing, being a joyful amateur at many things makes you more dimensional—and more connected.

My Challenge (To Myself and You)

So here's what I'm committing to: I'm going to be cringier. Perhaps it's finally taking that sewing class. It could be attempting to cook something beyond my usual three recipes. Or I might start sharing the messy middle of my creative process instead of just the polished final product.

Because in a world obsessed with personal branding and "finding your niche," maybe the most rebellious thing you can do is be bad at something. On purpose. With joy.

What's one thing you've been avoiding because you're afraid of looking foolish? That thing? That's your assignment.

Be cringe. Do it anyway.

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Chic, functional, high quality diaper bag

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More news you can use

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Until Next Time,

You need a Trojan horse habit

Jeannette Reyes — Thu, 05 Jun 2025 12:56:00 +0000

Hey friend,

Six months ago, I shared a goal that had nothing to do with fitness: I wanted to wake up by 6 AM every morning. I told you I was going to try using Pilates classes as my strategy.

But let me back up. Late last year, I announced I was going to wake up even earlier: at 5 AM. I did it for a few months, but eventually fell off and felt guilty about failing at something that should be "simple."

That's when I realized the problem wasn't my discipline—it was my approach.

So when I tried again at the more reasonable 6 AM, I needed a different game plan. And guess what? It worked brilliantly! What’s more, there’s a surprising psychology behind why it worked so well, and the reasons might not be what you'd expect.

I had zero fitness goals when I started. I wasn't trying to get abs, tone my arms, or achieve any Instagram-worthy transformation. The seemingly random choice of Pilates became what I later discovered is called a "Trojan horse habit"—a strategic vessel that smuggled my real goal past all my usual resistance and excuses.

If you've ever struggled with discipline or willpower (and who hasn't?!), this isn't about having more self-control. It's about getting creative with how you set up your environment and incentives. Sometimes the most effective path to your goal isn't the obvious one; it's about gamifying the process and working with your psychology instead of against it.

The Problem I Actually Wanted to Solve

Waking up late made me feel like my day was dragging me around by my hair. I'd stumble into morning meetings unprepared, spend the first few hours playing catch-up, and never quite feel in control. I knew that getting ahead of my day would change everything, but willpower alone wasn't cutting it.

The 6 AM wake-up call felt impossible until I reframed it entirely.

The Strategy: Hide Your Real Goal Inside Something Harder to Avoid

Instead of fighting my snooze button every morning, I signed up for 6:30 AM Pilates classes. Here’s why:

Financial stakes. Missing class costs me the price of the session.
Social accountability. There's a spot with my name on it.
Sunk cost. I've already paid for the month.

I wasn't trying to wake up early for some abstract benefit. I was avoiding immediate, concrete consequences.

What Made This Work

Removed Performance Pressure. Since fitness wasn't my real goal, there was zero pressure attached to the workout. This eliminated the performance anxiety that usually sabotages new habits.
Leveraged Loss Aversion. Research shows we're twice as motivated to avoid losing something as gaining it. The cancellation fee tapped into this perfectly.
Created Implementation Intentions. Instead of "I want to wake up early," my brain processed "If it's 6 AM Tuesday, then I go to Pilates." This if-then structure dramatically improves follow-through rates, and research shows people are 2-3 times more likely to follow through with specific plans.
Built Identity Through Action. Rather than trying to become "a morning person," I became "someone who goes to Tuesday morning Pilates." The identity shift happened through behavior, not motivation.

The Unexpected Results

Six months in, the results have been incredible:

Primary goal achieved. I wake up by 6 AM consistently and feel in control of my day.
Bonus physical changes. My core is the strongest it's ever been and my flexibility has improved dramatically.
Mental health boost. Starting the day with movement sets a different tone
Reduced social anxiety. Since I'm not there to perform, I feel comfortable regardless of others' experience levels.

The best part? I still have zero attachment to exercise outcomes. They're the pleasant side effects of solving my real problem.

The Bottom Line

Sometimes, the direct approach isn't the most effective one. approach. Instead of battling willpower, find a habit that naturally pulls your desired behavior along with it, and make the costs of avoiding it higher than the costs of doing it. And, most importantly, remove the pressure to perform perfectly.

Your goal might be hiding in an activity you’d never expect. The question isn’t, “How can I force myself to do this?” It’s, “What would make not doing it more painful than doing it?”

What's your Trojan horse going to be?

Applies to every aspect of life

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More news you can use

I’m so glad you’re here! If you’re enjoying these emails, here’s how you can continue to support this newsletter:

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Until Next Time,

The trap of getting sh*t done

Jeannette Reyes — Thu, 29 May 2025 12:56:00 +0000

Hey friend,

For the past year and a half, I've been locked in an exhausting battle with time. Each day ends with the same deflating assessment: I didn't get enough done. I wasn't efficient enough. I wasted precious hours.

The mental scorecard I keep tallying up my productivity always shows me in deficit. ⏳

Then I stumbled across Laurie Wang talking about Oliver Burkeman's "Four Thousand Weeks" on YouTube, and it felt like divine timing. Just when I was drowning in productivity anxiety, here was a book challenging my entire relationship with time.

As I read, I felt my shoulders physically relax. The perspective shift was immediate: this obsession with productivity optimization isn't normal or natural; it's distinctly modern, particularly American, and has especially trapped those of us in the millennial generation.

Here are the five most transformative insights I took away:

1. Why time management isn't the solution

The central premise is counterintuitive but liberating: time management itself is the problem, not the solution.

I've been operating under the assumption that with the right system, app, or routine, I could finally "get on top of everything." But this pursuit of mastery over our finite time (roughly 4,000 weeks if we're lucky) is precisely what causes our anxiety.

What's fascinating is how recent this obsession with optimizing every minute actually is. For most of human history, people lived with a completely different relationship to time. Medieval farmers didn't stress about "productivity" or "efficiency." They simply did what the seasons and daylight dictated. It's only in our modern industrialized world that we've come to see time as something to control, manage, and leverage for maximum output.

2. You can't control time (so stop trying)

This is why staying up later or waking up earlier never actually solves my time problems: I'm still operating under the illusion that I can somehow bend time to my will or create more of it. The uncomfortable truth is that I'll never be able to control it, and acknowledging this limitation is the first step toward a healthier relationship with it.

3. The productivity trap

The productivity trap functions as a way to postpone fulfillment to some future point when we'll "finally" have everything under control. But that moment never arrives. Instead, I keep pushing the goalpost further away ("Once I implement this system..." or "After I finish this project...") without ever arriving at the peace of mind I'm seeking.

As a millennial who fell hard for hustle culture, I've internalized the message that every moment should be "productive." I find myself reflexively reaching for my phone during elevator rides or creating mental to-do lists while brushing my teeth. But this constant optimization leaves no room for the very experiences that make life worth living.

4. Rediscovering rest and purposeless activity

Burkeman makes a compelling case for rediscovering what he calls "atelic activities." These are things we do for their own sake: hobbies that have no purpose beyond the enjoyment and activities where the doing itself is the entire point.

This hit me hard because I've spent years trying to justify even my leisure activities in terms of productivity. I convince myself I'm reading fiction to "improve my creativity" or taking walks to "boost cognitive function. "But the reality is, simply enjoying something is reason enough. It begs the question: What would it feel like to do something with zero productivity justification because it brings me joy?

5. Our overall insignificance is actually liberating

Perhaps the most profound insight from "Four Thousand Weeks" is that our time is extremely limited and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. The average human lifespan is shockingly brief at just 4,000 weeks (if we're lucky!).

That number stopped me in my tracks when I read it.

But rather than being depressing, Burkeman suggests this notion can be deeply liberating. When we zoom out and recognize how small we are, the pressure to be extraordinary loosens its grip. We don't need to achieve some remarkable level of productivity or accomplishment for our lives to matter.

This is the message I most want to share with fellow millennials caught in the hustle culture movement: Life is short and gone in an instant. And that's precisely why we shouldn't waste it trying to optimize every second or hustle our way to some imagined perfect future.

What I'm taking away from this book is simple but powerful: We don't need better time management systems. We need the courage to accept that we'll never get it all done, and the wisdom to choose what matters most in our absurdly brief 4,000 weeks. That feels like the real work.

Must read!

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I’m so glad you’re here! If you’re enjoying these emails, here’s how you can continue to support this newsletter:

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Until Next Time,

Love shouldn't need subtitles

Jeannette Reyes — Thu, 22 May 2025 12:56:00 +0000

Hey friend,

My dad once said, “I never thought my grandkids wouldn't speak my language.”

That always stuck with me. Because language is how we carry love across generations, I refuse to let that love get lost in translation.

After having several grandchildren who didn't speak Spanish, my dad shared this profound disappointment. Though papi spoke English well, it wasn't his first language. That day, I made a decision that would later shape my approach to parenting: my children would speak Spanish.

Here’s the thing: some personality and texture of a person is lost in translation when they're speaking their second language. With papi now passed, I understand this even more deeply.

One thing I often think about when I meet people speaking with accents is how I'm only getting a sliver of who they truly are — maybe 60% of their personality, with the fullness of who they are somewhat hidden behind a language barrier. As someone who's bilingual, I recognize this limitation acutely.

I've witnessed the quiet moments where elders in our family want to connect more deeply with younger generations. Of course, there are many beautiful ways to build relationships across language barriers: through shared experiences, food, music, and the universal language of love. Connection is always possible. But language adds a dimension and depth that's hard to replicate.

This reality was captured perfectly in a TikTok I saw years ago. In it, a grandfather was sitting alone while his grandchildren and adult children laughed and joked in English around him. He didn't speak English; they didn't speak Spanish. There he was, experiencing a subtle separation within his own family by a language barrier.

That image haunted me. I never wanted that scene to play out with mami or other relatives in the Dominican Republic. 🙅🏽‍♀️

We are intentional about Bella connecting with both sides of her rich heritage. We visit Chicago often, where she stays with her grandparents and visits her great-grandparents on the South Side. We've even considered purchasing a home there to strengthen those roots. Connecting with her Dominican heritage requires that extra layer of language support. We want her to feel at home in both worlds, to inherit the richness of both traditions without having to choose between them.

Being bilingual means living between worlds. I speak Spanish fluently, but I think mostly in English. My dreams float between both languages. My default is English. And yes, when frustration strikes, Spanish flows more naturally.

Research supports what many bilingual families intuitively know. Studies show that bilingual children demonstrate enhanced cognitive flexibility and develop stronger cultural empathy compared to monolingual peers. A separate review found that bilingual children consistently show advantages in perspective-taking tasks.

When it came to raising Bella bilingual, I had to be honest with myself about what I could realistically accomplish. With an African American husband who doesn't speak Spanish, I recognized I couldn't do this alone. That's why I was very intentional about choosing a Spanish immersion school where they speak Spanish 80% of the time; I needed that institutional support.

Our commitment takes shape in other everyday actions too: Spanish music fills our home regularly; we read books in Spanish together—this has been especially powerful; when my mom visits, she speaks exclusively in Spanish with Bella; and I've just signed her up for summer camp in the Dominican Republic.

I've come to understand that ultimately, I can only do so much. She'll have to decide for herself if this is something she values. I've made peace with this reality. Like planting a seed, I can provide the right conditions for bilingualism to flourish, but how it grows will be uniquely hers to determine.

If I'm being honest, it can be exhausting sometimes. We live in an English-dominant world. Many of our friends might be Hispanic but don't necessarily speak Spanish fluently, or, like me, their default is English. Constantly catching myself, switching languages, searching for toddler-appropriate terminology I rarely use—it requires consistent effort.

That said, recently my nephew has given me hope. About three years ago, at 18, he took the initiative to move to the Dominican Republic for a year. He wanted to learn the language and culture on his own terms. Now he's conversational in Spanish and has fallen in love with the culture. And what’s more, he made that choice for himself.

That's ultimately what I want for Bella. Not just the skill of bilingualism, but the choice to embrace her heritage, to connect with familia in their native tongue, and to carry forward the fullness of who we are across languages.

Because when papi said those words—"I never thought my grandkids wouldn't speak my language"—he wasn't just talking about words. He was talking about connection, about being fully known and understood.

That's a legacy worth preserving.

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I’m so glad you’re here! If you’re enjoying these emails, here’s how you can continue to support this newsletter:

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Until Next Time,

When rest feels like rebellion

Jeannette Reyes — Thu, 15 May 2025 12:56:00 +0000

Hey friend,

I'm going to let you in on something I'm struggling with right now. Since leaving my news career in December of 2023, the clear boundaries between work and home have dissolved.

Can you relate? Have you ever felt guilty when you're not being productive? Perhaps you've experienced the weight of expectation to always be doing something.

Your phone—yes, the one you're probably reading this on right now—has become the ultimate stillness impostor. It masquerades as relaxation while actually being work in disguise. We think we're taking a break when we scroll, but our brains are making hundreds of micro-decisions: like or dislike, read more or keep scrolling, respond or ignore.

Our phones have cosplayed as stillness companions while actually being stillness thieves.

Think about it…when was the last time you sat without doing anything? No podcast playing in the background, no show streaming, no thumbs scrolling.

Just you, present, in the moment. 🧘🏽‍♀️

For many of us, that kind of stillness feels almost rebellious in a world that demands constant engagement.

Why does rest feel like rebellion?

We live in a culture that glorifies the hustle, celebrates "rise and grind" mentalities, and equates busyness with importance. The Protestant work ethic, deeply embedded in Western culture, has taught us that our value comes from our productivity. Studies show that Americans work longer hours and take fewer vacations than workers in most other developed nations. Even during supposed "off hours," we remain tethered to our devices, constantly accessible and engaged.

Given these imprints in our collective psyche, it's hard to pause without attaching a stigma to it. All too often, we associate being still with being lazy. But the reality is we need to build in moments of nothingness to thrive in the long run.

Defining the terms: What is stillness? What is laziness?

Stillness is intentional presence. It's not the absence of activity but the presence of awareness. It might look like meditation, gazing out a window, or simply sitting with your thoughts. Stillness creates space for insights, creativity, and renewal.

Laziness, by contrast, is disengagement from life out of apathy or avoidance. The key difference? Intention. Stillness is chosen. It serves a purpose.

The science behind stillness

Contrary to what our achievement-oriented culture suggests, stillness isn't just pleasant. It’s essential for optimal performance and well-being:

🧠 Cognitive benefits: Regular periods of stillness enhance creative problem-solving and decision-making abilities. The brain's default mode network activates during rest, making connections between seemingly unrelated ideas.
⚕️Physical benefits: Stillness reduces cortisol levels and inflammation, lowers blood pressure, and strengthens immune function.
😌 Emotional benefits: Periods of stillness help regulate emotions, increase self-awareness, and improve resilience to stress.

Making stillness practical: Where do we start?

How many times have you spent a weekend "resting" only to start Monday feeling just as depleted? That's because passive rest, like scrolling social media or binge-watching shows, might pause exertion but doesn't actively rebuild your resources.

Quality rest involves intentional activities that replenish your specific type of depletion. If your work demands constant decision-making, restorative rest might look like time in nature where choices are minimal. If your work is sedentary, it might include some exercise or movement. If you're surrounded by people all day, true rest likely requires solitude.

Our worth isn’t measured by our productivity

Perhaps the most rebellious act for those of us raised to equate stillness with laziness is to recognize that our value exists independent of our output. We are human beings, not human doings.

For me, this is easier said than done. Some days, stillness feels impossible, dangerous even. But I'm beginning to see that my best work(and my best self!) emerge not from constant motion, but from the spaces in between.

What about you? Does rest feel like rebellion in your life? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Accept limits, prioritize what matters.

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I'm terrified of your opinion

Jeannette Reyes — Thu, 08 May 2025 12:56:00 +0000

Hey friend,

I've lived a public life for over a decade. First, as a journalist and now as a content creator. But despite the visibility, I've been spared a lot of criticism. And while I'm grateful for that, I’ve recently realized I never built the muscle to handle it.

The downside? I'm thin-skinned. And I care (deeply!) about what other people think.

I care what my family thinks. What my friends think. What strangers on the internet think. 🫣

It shapes what I do and don’t share. Sometimes it seeps into what I allow myself to do: That project I wanted to start? That opinion I wanted to voice? That outfit I wanted to wear? All filtered through the lens of anticipated criticism.

And instead of working through that, I just keep most things close to the vest. I polish. I curate. I protect. I've become skilled at revealing just enough to seem open while keeping the most vulnerable parts hidden behind carefully constructed walls.

I watch people who seem immune to outside opinions and think: What must that feel like? That freedom? That certainty in your own voice?

My husband, Robert, is one of those people. He played sports and endured criticism in front of his peers. He knows how to take what's useful and discard the rest. I don’t jut admire that; I envy it. And I wish I could do the same.

When someone offers him feedback, even when harsh, he can extract the valuable insights and let the rest roll off his back. He has a Teflon effect I wasn't born with. Where I might ruminate for days on a single comment, he processes it in minutes and moves forward unencumbered.

This concept reminds me of a quote I've always loved: "If you live by the compliments, you'll die by the criticism."

And while the spirit of this saying resonates so much with me, I have to admit it's aspirational. I've tried to abide by it. But really, I've just curated what I share so tightly that I've stayed mainly on the safe side of both. I've managed to avoid the harshest criticism by only revealing what feels safe, polished, and unlikely to attract negative attention.

My life coach pointed something out to me recently that's been sitting heavy on my mind. She said the "me" she sees in conversation differs greatly from the "me" in my newsletters or videos. That the version I share is sanitized and my most interesting thoughts and struggles never make it to the page.

She's not wrong.

It made me think about my work in broadcast journalism and why I was drawn to it in the first place.

Everything is polished. Your makeup. Your voice. Your posture. Your script. It's about delivering facts, not feelings. You become the messenger, not the message. There's safety in that distance, in being the conduit rather than the content.

In journalism, we're taught to show our process; how we uncovered facts, verified information, and pursued leads. But that's about methodology, not emotional vulnerability. The focus stays on the story, never on the unresolved internal struggles of the storyteller. The journalist remains invisible, even when they're on camera every night. I found comfort in those boundaries and in the clear delineation between what belongs to the audience and what remains mine.

I've carried this same approach into my content. I have an unwritten rule: never share what I haven't resolved.

It's why I can write about balance after I've developed a framework for seasonal thinking. It’s why I can share about career transitions upon finding my footing. And it’s why I can talk about parenting challenges once I've discovered approaches that work for me. I've become an expert at retrospective vulnerability—sharing difficulties only once I've conquered them, when they've become safe stories rather than live wires.

But sharing the raw, unresolved questions? The struggles I'm still wading through? The doubts that visit me at 3 AM? That feels like walking into battle and announcing I have no armor. No shield. No poker face. Just exposing the soft spots I usually hide.

My coach tells me this is exactly what creates the deepest connections—this willingness to be seen in the messy middle, before the resolution and the neatly packaged lessons. That perhaps in trying to protect myself from criticism, I've also created a barrier to the most meaningful engagement.

I'm not sure she's wrong about that either.

I'm curious: Do you have similar boundaries around what you share? Do you prefer creators who offer solutions or those who share their process? Is there value in witnessing someone's journey through the messy middle, or do you, like me, prefer the clarity that comes with hindsight?

I don't have answers to these questions yet. But I wanted to at least share this reflection with you(even if it breaks my own rule a little bit). Perhaps this is my first small step into revealing something I haven't yet resolved.

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Unsubscribing from who you used to be

Jeannette Reyes — Thu, 01 May 2025 12:56:00 +0000

Hey friend,

Imagine an entire room suddenly realizing they’ve been lied to (by themselves, to themselves). The collective sound was less of a gasp and more of a group exhale that realized it had been holding its breath for years.

I didn’t mean to cause a scene, but saying the quiet part out loud hits different. To set the stage, a few weeks ago I was participating as a guest in a live podcast recording of She’s So Lucky, hosted by Les Alfred, when I delivered what I knew was a powerful truth:

"You don't owe the old version of yourself a lifetime subscription."

In that moment, I realized I had touched a nerve— and exposed an invisible script that had been running silently in the background of people's lives. The chorus of snaps, “mmm’s” and “yes girl!” was immediate and visceral—a ripple of shock, followed by uncomfortable laughter, then furious note-taking. 📝

This line emerged from my struggle with evolution. For years, I felt trapped by my previous choices: the career I had built, the identity I had constructed, and the expectations I had established. Changing direction felt like betrayal, not just to others, but to my past self, because she had worked so hard.

The moment I finally gave myself permission to evolve beyond those self-imposed constraints was genuinely liberating. It wasn't about discarding my past; it was about honoring who I was becoming.

The Invisible Scripts Running Our Lives

That moment got me thinking about all the other "truths" we accept without question—beliefs that quietly dictate our choices and limit our possibilities without our conscious permission.

I call these "invisible scripts"—the unspoken rules and assumptions that operate beneath our awareness. They're not the beliefs we proudly declare; they're the ones so deeply embedded in our thinking that we don't recognize them as beliefs. We simply accept them as "the way things are."

Psychologists refer to these as "cognitive schemas." These mental frameworks organize our understanding of the world.

Research from the field of cognitive psychology shows these schemas act as powerful filters, causing us to notice information that confirms our existing beliefs while filtering out contradictory evidence.

Studies in the Introduction to Psychology textbook indicate that people consistently misremember information that contradicts their established worldview, reinforcing these invisible scripts without being aware of it.

The confirmation bias leads us to better remember information that aligns with our schemas while unconsciously distorting or forgetting details that challenge our existing beliefs.

These scripts don't exist in a vacuum:

🌍 Cultural scripts dictate the appropriate life paths and milestones. In many Western cultures, there is an invisible script about linear progression (education, career, marriage, children) that occurs in a specific order and timeframe.
⛪️ Religious teachings often become internalized as unquestionable truths about morality, purpose, and identity, shaping our sense of what constitutes a good and worthy life.
🧑‍🧑‍🧒 Family patterns pass down beliefs about everything from money ("wealth is corrupting" or "financial struggle is noble") to relationships ("conflict must be avoided" or "love means sacrifice").
🔍 Societal messages bombard us with narratives about success, beauty, worthiness, and belonging that we absorb without critical examination.

The Scripts That Limit Us

Here are some common invisible scripts that might be running in the background of your life:

🪞 Identity Script: "I'm just not a creative person."
- This belief stops many people from trying new forms of expression, often based on a single childhood experience or comparison.
🏆 Achievement Script: "If I haven't mastered something quickly, I probably don't have natural talent for it."
- This leads us to abandon pursuits at the first sign of difficulty, missing the growth that comes through persistence.
👯‍♂️ Relationship Script: "Setting boundaries means being selfish."
- This script keeps many people locked in patterns of overgiving and resentment, unable to create healthy relationships.
🧭 Growth Script: "Changing direction means admitting the previous path was a waste."
- This prevents evolution, keeping us committed to paths long after they stop serving us.

Recognizing Your Own Invisible Scripts

The trickiest part about invisible scripts is spotting them. Here are two powerful ways to bring them into the light:

🫣 Notice your emotional triggers: When something provokes a strong reaction (like that collective gasp from the audience), it often means a core belief is being challenged.
👀 Look for "should" statements: Whenever you think "I should..." or "People should...", there's usually an invisible script at work.

My Own Rewritten Script

For years, I believed changing directions meant admitting failure. To pivot was to concede that my previous choices were wrong. This kept me stuck in patterns long after they stopped serving me.

I remember the exact moment this script became visible to me.

I was considering a new opportunity that excited me, but would require stepping away from the work I was known for. The resistance I felt wasn't about the new path—it was about what leaving the old path might say about me. Was I fickle? Uncommitted? Wasting my potential?

Rewriting that script to "Evolution is not betrayal—it's growth" freed me to make choices based on who I am becoming, not just who I've been.

That's what I meant when I said, "You don't owe the older version of yourself a lifetime subscription." Your past self made the best decisions they could with the information they had at the time. But as you gain new insights, experiences, and wisdom, you earn the right to make new choices.

Your Turn

What invisible script might be holding you back? Listen for that internal gasp. That's where your growth is waiting.

Because the most powerful lies aren't the ones others tell us; they're the ones we tell ourselves without even knowing we're doing it.

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Balance is a scam (and I fell for it)

Jeannette Reyes — Thu, 24 Apr 2025 12:56:00 +0000

Hey friend,

I made a promise on air.

Standing before the cameras during my final broadcast, I declared with certainty: "I'm leaving to spend more time with my daughter."

The words felt right in the moment. After years in news, entrepreneurship would finally give me the flexibility I craved as a mother.

Fast forward several months, and I find myself staring at my calendar in disbelief. Another week of back-to-back meetings. Another dinner missed. Another bedtime story read by someone else.

"Was I being dishonest?" I ask myself in quiet moments, not with my audience, but with myself. The guilt sits heavy, that particular brand of guilt that only seems to target mothers who work. It whispers that I've failed at the very thing I set out to do.

What I didn't understand then (and what I'm only beginning to grasp now) is that balance isn't something you achieve all at once. It's not a static state you reach and maintain. It's seasonal.

The Expert Take: Life as a Series of Trade-Offs

Emma Grede, co-founder and CEO of Good American, co-founder of SKIMS, and mother of four, frames it perfectly:

"The reality is that life is a series of trade-offs, and the quicker you become comfortable with that, the happier you will be."

What's powerful about Grede's perspective is that it removes the expectation of “having it all” at the same time. Instead, she suggests acknowledging these necessary trade-offs leads to more peace than constantly striving for perfect equilibrium.

Grede has also pointed out a critical double standard: women, particularly mothers, are constantly questioned about balance, while men rarely face the same scrutiny. Her husband, also a serial entrepreneur, is simply not asked how he "balances it all," yet she is constantly.

This gendered expectation adds another layer of pressure and guilt that women must navigate.

Research from work-life experts, such as Stewart Friedman from Wharton, suggests that "work-life integration" is more realistic and sustainable than "work-life balance."

His studies show that attempting simultaneous balance creates more stress than acknowledging and planning for seasons of imbalance.

The Reality I Underestimated: Building Takes Time

When I pivoted careers, I severely underestimated what "building" truly means in entrepreneurship.

This season is intense and demanding, and it takes me away from my daughter more than I anticipated. But recognizing it as a season, not a permanent state, has been transformative.

Reframing Balance: Seasonal vs. Simultaneous

What if we stopped chasing daily balance and instead embraced seasonal balance?

👷🏾‍♀️Building Seasons: Intense work focus, career advancement, laying foundations
🧑‍🧑‍🧒Nurturing Seasons: Family-centered time, relationship deepening
📝Learning Seasons: Personal growth, skill development

😌Rest Seasons: Recovery, reflection, rejuvenation

The key insight is that these don't—and shouldn't—happen at the same time. Trying to build a business while being fully present as a parent, while also prioritizing self-care and personal growth? That's a recipe for feeling perpetually inadequate on all fronts.

Instead, what if we gave ourselves permission to lean into one season at a time, with the knowledge that other seasons will follow?

Practical Steps for Managing Seasonal Balance

Here's how I'm working to embrace seasonal balance and manage the guilt that comes with it:

Define your seasons: Map out your year with designated intensive periods: for me, that looks like Q1 and Q3 for business-building, summer, and December for family.
Create micro-balances: A sacred daily morning ritual with my daughter remains untouched regardless of work demands.
Communicate clearly: I explain to my family when I'm in a "building season" and when a "family season" is coming.
Set boundaries: Sundays remain work-free and dedicated to family, even in intense building periods.
Practice presence: When with my daughter, I'm fully present; phone away and laptop closed.
Build support: I have trusted childcare and relationships with other entrepreneur-parents who understand this journey.
Review regularly: Hold quarterly check-ins to evaluate if seasons need adjustments.

Creating Intentional Seasons (Not Endless Building)

To prevent the "building season" from stretching indefinitely:

Set transition metrics: Define business milestones, such as revenue targets and key hires, that signal when to shift to a more balanced season.
Block family time: I pre-book non-negotiable vacations and lighter work periods for the coming year.
Establish accountability: I shared my seasonal plan with my business mentor, who ensures I don't unnecessarily extend building phases.
Build scalable systems: Right now, I’m documenting processes and developing team capabilities to enable stepping back later.
Apply the 80/20 rule: I’m focusing on the 20% of efforts that deliver 80% of results, constantly evaluating what truly moves the needle.

Embracing Imperfect Balance

I wasn't being dishonest on that final broadcast; I was being incomplete. What I should have said was: "I'm leaving to build something that will eventually allow me more quality time with my daughter. The journey there won't be perfect, but the destination matters."

So, to the entrepreneur-mother feeling the weight of guilt: what season are you in right now? Name it. Honor it. And know that other seasons await.

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Interrogate your fears

Jeannette Reyes — Thu, 17 Apr 2025 12:56:00 +0000

Hey friend,

It was 3 AM, and I couldn’t sleep. The decision to leave my news career was looming, inducing insomnia, and my fear was loud.

Instead of tossing and turning, I did something different. I asked, “Okay, what are you really trying to tell me?”

That conversation with my fear? It changed everything.

We’re taught to push past fear or ignore it altogether. But what if fear isn’t just something to overcome? What if it’s trying to guide us? What if it shows up loudest right before something meaningful?

My Crossroads: When Fear Became My Teacher

A few years ago, I found myself at a crossroads: standing at the edge of a comfortable career, staring into the unknown of something new. My established role in news provided stability, recognition, and a clear identity. The path ahead offered none of these certainties.

The fear I felt was sometimes paralyzing. What struck me wasn't just the intensity of the fear but how specific it was. I wasn't afraid of failing privately. I was scared of failing publicly.

This distinction became crucial.

When I finally sat down to examine this fear closely, I asked myself questions that changed everything:

"What's the worst that can happen if I leave? What's the worst that can happen if I stay?"

Staying out of fear terrified me more than potentially failing at something new. I realized I was onto something unique that aligned with where media was heading, and I couldn't bear the thought of watching someone else seize the opportunity while I remained safely on the sidelines.

Another question that cut through my uncertainty was, "Is this fear about the work itself or what others might think?"

The honest answer was revealing: my anxiety centered more on perceptions than on the actual challenge ahead.

Once I recognized this, the fear lost much of its power. Most importantly, the intensity of my fear highlighted how much I valued the new direction.

My fear wasn't telling me to retreat — it confirmed I'd found something worth pursuing. 🧭

Your Fear Interrogation Toolkit: Questions That Worked For Me

Studies by psychologist Kelly McGonigal show that people who view their anxiety as helpful rather than harmful perform better and experience fewer adverse health effects.

The truth is, fear isn't random. It's highlighting what you truly care about. When you're afraid of rejection, that's because connection matters to you. When you're scared to fail at something, you genuinely care about succeeding in that area.

Based on my experience, here are the questions that helped me transform my fear from an obstacle to a guide; you can use these to examine yours:

😳Identify What's Really Scaring You

Ask yourself: "What specifically am I afraid of happening?"
- For me, it wasn't just "failure" but "failing publicly" that frightened me. Don't accept vague answers from your fear. Push for specifics until you reach something concrete.
Practice tip: Write down your answers. The act of documenting forces clarity and prevents fear from remaining abstract.

🫣Uncover What Your Fear Is Protecting

Ask yourself: "What value or desire is this fear protecting?"
- My fear of public failure was protecting my identity and sense of self-worth. Your fears are often guarding your deepest values— identify them, and you'll understand why the fear feels so powerful.

Practice tip: Complete the sentence "I'm afraid because I care about..." with as many honest answers as possible.

🔍Examine All Possible Scenarios

Ask yourself: "What's the worst that could happen if I face this fear? What's the worst that could happen if I don't?"
- This question was transformative for me. I realized that staying in news out of fear created a more terrifying future than potentially failing at something new. I didn't want to watch someone else seize an opportunity I knew was right for me.
Practice tip: Project yourself five years into both futures. Which creates more regret?

🙅🏽‍♀️Separate Facts from Fiction

Ask yourself: "What concrete evidence supports this fear? What evidence contradicts it?"
- When I examined my fear of failing publicly, I couldn't find examples of people whose lives were ruined by changing careers. The evidence simply didn't support the fear's dramatic claims.
Practice tip: Create two columns—"Supporting Evidence" and "Contradicting Evidence"—and fill both completely.

👥Identify External Influences

Ask yourself: "Am I afraid of the thing itself or others' perceptions of me?"
- This was a crucial revelation for me. Much of my anxiety centered on what others would think if I left news, not on the actual challenges ahead. Once I recognized this, I remembered that basing major life decisions on others' opinions is no way to live.
Practice tip: For each fear, ask, "Would this still scare me if no one else knew about it?"

What I Learned: Fear As a Compass

I realized that my fears weren't random obstacles; they were signposts. They pointed toward growth, meaning, and what mattered most to me.

My fear of leaving news eventually revealed its truth: it wasn't about failure. It was about recognizing I'd found something worth pursuing, something uniquely mine that might not wait around if I hesitated too long.

By confronting my fear rather than avoiding it, I discovered it was trying to push me forward, not hold me back. It was the surest sign that I was onto something meaningful.

The next time anxiety rises within you, don't run from it or fight it. Question it. Listen to it. Extract its wisdom.

After all, what terrifies you isn't random. It’s revealing exactly where your next meaningful step lies.

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Talent is overrated

Jeannette Reyes — Thu, 10 Apr 2025 12:56:00 +0000

Hey friend,

Have you ever noticed how we're quick to put exceptional people on a pedestal? You know the ones I'm talking about...

Mozart was composing music at five years old. LeBron was dubbed "The Chosen One" in high school. Picasso was painting masterpieces as a teenager.

And we call it talent. We call it genius. We call it a gift.

We're wrong. 🙅🏽‍♀️

What if I told you that the world's greatest "prodigies" were actually the product of thousands of hidden hours of practice? That the quick-witted news anchor who hardly stumbles (yes, that was once me!) had already recorded and critiqued hundreds of broadcasts before you ever saw them on air?

The truth about exceptional performance isn't inspirational; it’s uncomfortable. It's not about being chosen; it's about choosing, day after day, to do the work that others aren't willing to do.

Natural Gifts vs. Deliberate Practice

Let's get something straight: natural aptitude is real. Some people do have genetic predispositions that give them a head start.

But that head start? It's simply the first mile of a marathon. 🏃🏽‍♀️

In one of my favorite books, "Talent Is Overrated," Geoff Colvin explains that natural gifts are "more like doors that are unlocked by practice." The real differentiator is what happens after that door is unlocked.

Take Michael Jordan, widely considered the GOAT. Most people don't know that he was cut from his high school varsity team as a sophomore.

His response? Waking up at 6 AM to practice before school.

What You See vs. What You Don't See

When you watch my videos or see my content, you're witnessing skills I've honed under intense pressure for over a decade:

What you see: Confident on-camera presence, concise storytelling, and a smooth delivery.
What you don't see: 12 years of live broadcasts where mistakes weren't an option, writing complete stories with complex information in under 75 seconds, and interviewing reluctant sources under deadline pressure.

By the time most "overnight successes" are discovered, they've already put in their 10,000 hours—the amount of practice that research suggests is needed for world-class expertise in any field.

Here's something I rarely talk about: While my content creation skills might look polished, I'm still very much a beginner in other areas of my business.

I'm learning how to lead a team (very different from the small news teams I worked with)
I'm figuring out business organization systems that never existed in the journalism space
I'm developing strategic planning skills that weren't required when following a news director's vision

These struggles happen behind the scenes, where my audience doesn't witness them.

And that's precisely what happens with every "talented" person you admire; you see their polished performances, not their struggles and deliberate practice sessions.

The Secret: Deliberate Practice at the Edge of Your Ability

Not all practice is created equal. The key is "deliberate practice" – practicing at the edge of your abilities, where you're slightly uncomfortable and reaching for something just beyond your current grasp.

When I started in news, I recognized my weakness with breaking news. Instead of avoiding it, I deliberately volunteered for those assignments. After each broadcast, I would review my performance and identify one specific element to improve.

The key elements of deliberate practice include:

Working at the edge of your capabilities - Just difficult enough to be challenging
Clear, specific goals - Not "get better at breaking news" but "eliminate verbal fillers during high-pressure situations"
Full concentration and effort - Casual practice produces casual results
Immediate feedback - Learning what worked and what didn't
Repetition with refinement - Doing it again with improvements

Research found that elite performers across fields spend around 4-5 hours per day in this type of focused, deliberate practice—not the 12+ hours you might imagine.

Quality matters more than quantity. 👏🏽

Rethinking Your Own Potential

The most liberating implication of this research is that excellence is essentially a matter of choice and disciplined practice, not predetermined talent.

Here's how to apply these insights:

Inventory your "invisible skills" - What abilities have you developed that might be valuable elsewhere?

Embrace the discomfort zone - If you're practicing something that feels completely comfortable, you're probably not improving.
Reframe "failure" as feedback - Every mistake is valuable information about what to adjust.

This reminds me so much of my fitness journey (have I mentioned my Pilates obsession lately? 😂). Remember when I was committing to just one class a week? Those unsexy, small commitments build on each other!

I didn't become a four-classes-a-week person overnight. I became that person by consistently showing up and gradually expanding my comfort zone.

This week, I challenge you to:

Identify one area where you've been telling yourself, "I'm just not naturally good at this."
Design a small, deliberate practice session focusing on one specific aspect of that skill.
Spend 30 minutes practicing at your edge where it's challenging but not impossible.

Remember: What looks like talent is usually just practice you didn't witness. And what feels like a limitation is a skill you haven't developed yet. ✨

I'd love to hear what you're working on and what "edge" you're pushing yourself toward. Drop me a line and let me know!

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My on-air panic attack and how I overcame impostor syndrome

Jeannette Reyes — Thu, 03 Apr 2025 12:56:00 +0000

Hi friend,

Ready for a storytime moment? Let me set the stage for you…

It hit me without warning while broadcasting live at one of the top news stations in the country. My heart hammered against my ribs, my hands trembled, and my voice—the instrument I'd spent years perfecting—suddenly thinned to a whisper. There I was, anchoring the 4 PM news in 2019, having what I would later recognize as a full-blown panic attack on live television. 🫨

My veteran co-anchor sailed through his segments with practiced ease while I was just weeks into my role as main anchor, drowning on air. When the producer later joked after the broadcast, "I wasn't sure you were going to make it through that; everything okay?" I laughed it off, but inside, I was crumbling. I didn't understand then that this wasn't just nerves; it was impostor syndrome taking physical form.

What Imposter Syndrome Is (And Why It Happens)

Impostor syndrome is the persistent belief that someone is not as competent as others perceive them to be, coupled with the fear of being "found out" as a fraud.

Despite clear evidence of capabilities and achievements, someone experiencing imposter syndrome attributes their success to luck, timing, or the ability to deceive others about their competence. It often stems from:

🙋🏽‍♀️Perfectionism: Setting impossibly high standards that, when inevitably unmet, reinforce feelings of inadequacy.
🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒Family dynamics: Growing up with mixed messages about achievement or in environments where success was either overly praised or never acknowledged.
🤷🏽‍♀️New challenges: Novel roles or responsibilities (like my transition to main anchor) can trigger feelings of fraudulence.
✊🏽Minority status: Being "the only" or "one of few" in a group can heighten feelings of not belonging.

Who Imposter Syndrome Affects Most

Studies consistently show that certain groups are disproportionately affected:

First-generation professionals
Women in male-dominated fields
Racial and ethnic minorities
High-achievers and perfectionists
People from lower socioeconomic backgrounds

A Note of Caution

I want to acknowledge something important: By dwelling too long on impostor syndrome, we risk internalizing the very narratives that society sometimes imposes on us: that we are somehow less than or that our self-doubt is a personal failing (rather than often a rational response to systems that weren't designed for us!).

The goal isn't to "fix" ourselves but to recognize these feelings for what they are: extremely common human experiences that we can move beyond.

How I Overcame Impostor Syndrome

My journey moving past impostor syndrome didn’t happen overnight, but these evidence-based strategies made all the difference:

🗣Break the Silence. Simply naming these feelings can reduce their power. When I finally confided in a trusted colleague about my panic attack, the shame began to dissipate. The isolation of impostor syndrome thrives in silence.
🔍Separate Feelings from Facts. Clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen recommends documenting and reviewing your achievements when impostor feelings arise. I created a "victory file" of positive feedback, successful broadcasts, and challenging moments I'd navigated well.
🙅🏽‍♀️Stop Relying on External Validation. My favorite quote became my mantra: "If you live by the compliments, you'll die by the critics."
🤝🏽Find Reliable Feedback Sources. For me, getting mentors who provided constructive, honest feedback was crucial.
💪🏽Recognize Your Strengths. I took time to identify what I genuinely did well. Focusing on signature strengths reduces impostor feelings and increases well-being.
🖼️ Reframe Failure as Growth. Viewing abilities as developable rather than fixed reduces impostor feelings; I started seeing on-air mistakes as learning opportunities rather than evidence of incompetence.
👏🏽Set Realistic Standards. Perfectionism fuels impostor syndrome. I learned to celebrate "good enough" instead of demanding flawlessness.

The Real Cost of Impostor Syndrome

Here’s the thing: impostor syndrome has tangible costs.

In my career, I undervalued my worth during negotiations because I felt "fortunate to be at the table" rather than recognizing the mutual benefit of my presence. This mindset literally cost me money.

Beyond my salary, impostor syndrome also cost me my authenticity. When I couldn't bring my full personality to broadcasts because I was too busy monitoring myself for mistakes, that was the highest price I paid.

Taking Up Space Unapologetically

The day I realized I no longer struggled with impostor syndrome felt like shedding armor. My shoulders relaxed. My breathing evened out. My on-air presence transformed from cautious and measured to real and dynamic.

I found myself improvising during broadcasts, letting my natural curiosity and humor shine through. I negotiated confidently, knowing my worth wasn't determined by others' perceptions but by the value I brought.

Here's the truth I wish I'd known during that panic attack: The table was built for me, too. My voice, perspective, and talent weren't accidental additions to the newsroom. They were essential. The moment I stopped questioning whether I belonged was the moment I truly began to lead.

We don't overcome impostor syndrome by convincing ourselves we're good enough for spaces that weren't designed for us. We overcome it by recognizing that any space lucky enough to have us is made better by our presence.

If you’re struggling with self-doubt

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The family health talk that could have saved me $30,000

Jeannette Reyes — Thu, 27 Mar 2025 12:56:00 +0000

Hey friend,

Core memory alert: Let’s take it back to when I was just fifteen years old, sitting in a doctor's office discussing whether I'd be able to have children someday. The gravity and weight of it all felt too heavy (and too early). My peers were busying themselves worrying about typical teenage things, like homework assignments, learning how to drive, debating who to take to prom.

Yet here I was, considering a far-out future, one that could or could not exist, depending on what my practitioners could reveal about what was in the cards for me. 😵‍💫

Back then, something inside me just knew something wasn't right. That intuition would take me on a fifteen-year journey of dismissals, missed diagnoses, and eventually, a $30,000 fertility treatment that could have been avoided with a simple conversation.

As Women's History Month transitions into Infertility Awareness Month in April, I can’t help but see the interplay between these cultural observances.

Women's progress throughout history isn't just about voting rights and workplace equality; it's also about our right to understand and advocate for our health. For generations, women's reproductive concerns were dismissed or silenced. The fight for women's health recognition is part of our collective history, and the silences passed down from mother to daughter can be just as impactful as the words spoken.

I recently shared my fertility journey on "Living Well" podcast. We covered everything from my PCOS diagnosis to IVF challenges and how I learned to advocate for myself when doctors dismissed my concerns. Give the podcast a listen if you can relate (or simply want to learn more!)

When You Just Know Something's Not Right

At fifteen, while other girls had regular monthly cycles, mine appeared sporadically — three or four times a year (at most!).

I felt like something was wrong with me. The doctor dismissed my concerns with patronizing smiles,

saying, "Everything is fine. You have plenty of time for this to be regulated." But my body continued sending signals for the next fifteen years. FIFTEEN YEARS, y'all! I would look at couples with children and wonder if I'd be able to have that biologically. That nagging concern never left me, even as I focused on my career and marriage.

The Diagnosis That Could Have Come Sooner

When I went to a new doctor as an adult, I told her, "I think I have PCOS"(Polycystic Ovary Syndrome)," referring to a common hormonal disorder that affects about 1 in 10 women of childbearing age.Her response? "No, I don't think so. You don't fit the profile."

But I insisted on testing anyway.

A week later: classic signs of PCOS, what they call the "ring of pearls," emerged on the ultrasound.

Here's the kicker: After my diagnosis, I learned that my mom had the same symptoms her entire life. She just never had a name for it. That simple piece of family history could have fast-tracked my diagnosis by years.

The $30,000 Lesson

When we were ready to start our family, we discovered our employer's insurance didn't cover fertility treatments. The cruel irony? My previous employer covered EVERYTHING:egg freezing, IVF, the works. Had I known earlier and taken action then, all of our fertility treatments would have been entirely covered. 😩

That decision ultimately cost us over $30,000 out of pocket.

After a failed IUI attempt, we moved to IVF, which thankfully worked on our first embryo transfer. But the financial strain was significant. That money could have gone toward my daughter Bella's education or our first home.

This is why I'm passionate about encouraging women to not just know their family health history but to understand how that knowledge affects their financial planning and career decisions, too.

The Genetic Legacy of Women's Health Conditions

Many reproductive health conditions follow genetic patterns that silently affect generations:

If your mother has PCOS, you have a 50% chance of developing it yourself. It affects 15% of women of reproductive age.
Women with a first-degree relative with endometriosis are 7-10 times more likely to develop it.
If your mother had fibroids, your risk increases by about 3 times.
BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes can increase breast cancer risk by up to 70%.

For generations, these conditions were dismissed as "normal women's problems." In the Victorian era, reproductive health issues were commonly attributed to "hysteria" rather than recognized as legitimate medical conditions. Each time you speak up about your symptoms, you help another woman recognize her own health patterns.

Your Self-Advocacy Toolkit

Ladies, medicine hasn't always taken women's concerns seriously. Here's what I learned:

✅Trust your instincts. If something feels off, keep pushing for answers.
🔍Do your research. Come to appointments prepared with specific symptoms and questions.
🙅🏽‍♀️Don't take the first "no." When my doctor dismissed PCOS, I insisted on testing.
🧬Get specific about family history. Ask your female relatives about their reproductive health.
⚕️Consider health benefits in job decisions. It could save you tens of thousands.

Starting Those Necessary Conversations

Try these simple starters:

"Mom, what health conditions run in our family?"
"Grandma, did you experience thyroid issues or irregular periods like I do?"
"Could we make a quick family health tree together?"

Remember, men can be powerful allies in these conversations, too. My husband Robert was instrumental in supporting my PCOS journey, never minimizing my concerns when doctors did, researching treatment options, finding specialists who would listen, and advocating alongside me during appointments.

Partners can amplify our voices when we're dismissed, help track symptoms others might overlook, and provide the emotional support needed to persist when the medical system fails us.

Your Health Journey Matters

When we advocate for our health, we honor the women who fought for recognition before us. Speaking up when dismissed and insisting on proper care isn't just about your individual health—it helps all women receive better treatment.

As Women's History Month ends and Infertility Awareness Month begins, remember that your health journey is part of a larger story.

My journey with PCOS eventually led to our beautiful daughter Bella, through IVF. The path wasn't easy, but the joy of holding her makes every difficult moment worthwhile.

So my challenge to you this month is to have that family health conversation. Ask the uncomfortable questions. Document what you learn.

Your future self will thank you — and so might your daughter someday.

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The childhood superpower that could reshape your professional future

Jeannette Reyes — Thu, 20 Mar 2025 12:56:00 +0000

Hey friend,

What if I told you that your most valuable professional asset isn't something you need to learn; it's something you've been doing since childhood?

Last weekend, I flew to LA for a Sephora Squad event and I connected with over 60 fellow content creators chosen from more than 15,000 applicants! 🤯 We all came from totally different worlds — doctors, lawyers, engineers, and even journalists like me — each selected not just for our love of beauty but for unique skills that helped us stand out.

During a masterclass, Besidone, Global Innovation Creator Lead at Instagram, highlighted people who excel by leaning into their natural talents. I nearly fell out of my chair when my face appeared on the big screen as her example of someone leveraging storytelling! 😮

When she asked about my greatest strength, I didn't miss a beat: storytelling has always been my foundation. Those 12 years working in the news taught me to find the heart of a story, center the audience, be assertive but warm, and stay authentic. This skill set has been my secret weapon in connecting with all of you.

The Universal Power of Story

Storytelling isn't just for journalists or content creators. It's a fundamental human skill that works everywhere:

Stay-at-home parents teach through bedtime stories
Engineers translate complex solutions for non-technical stakeholders
Community organizers rally support by crafting narratives about change
Real estate agents help clients envision their future in empty spaces

Look at Nike. They don't sell shoes; they sell stories of human potential.

Their most memorable campaigns tell stories of perseverance and triumph. It's why we remember "Just Do It" decades later while technical specs fade from memory.

Storytelling has been part of humanity since our ancestors painted tales on cave walls 30,000 years ago. Far from becoming obsolete in our digital age, narrative skills are emerging as the essential capability of the future.

The Science of the Story

Our attraction to stories isn't just cultural; it's hardwired into our brains! 🧠

Research shows that stories trigger oxytocin (the "trust hormone"), which creates an emotional bond with our audience. This explains why a good story moves people when boring stats rarely do.

Stanford researchers found that we remember information in story form up to 22 times better than isolated facts, while cognitive psychologist Jerome Bruner discovered stories are 2,000% more memorable than raw data. Crazy, right?

Why? Because stories light up our whole brain! While data only activates language processing areas, a good narrative engages multiple brain regions, triggering dopamine during emotional moments.

Basically, our brains LOVE a good story. ✨

Crafting Your Story

You might be thinking: "Jeannette, how the heck do I tell a good story?!"

Great storytelling isn't magic — it's a method. Here are the essential elements:

1. 📖A Clear Structure: Every compelling story has a beginning (introduce the challenge), a middle (show the journey), and an end (reveal the resolution).

2. ✍🏾Concrete Details: Specific details create mental images. Instead of "It was difficult," try, "I was at my kitchen table at 2 AM, surrounded by empty coffee cups, wondering if I'd made a terrible mistake."

3. 🗣Emotional Truth: The most powerful stories tap into universal experiences. Rather than "Customer satisfaction improved," say, "Parents told us they no longer felt guilty about limited time with their children—they could now be fully present."

4. 📌A Clear "Why": Great stories are driven by purpose. Instead of "We launched an initiative," say, "We couldn't bear seeing another family struggle with challenges we'd overcome."

5. ✨Authenticity: The most resonant stories come from genuine experience. Share real moments of failure, insight, and breakthrough.

Your Competitive Edge

In a landscape of increasing automation and AI, storytelling remains uniquely human. As skills become commoditized, your ability to craft a narrative separates you from both machines and competitors.

The most successful people I've met aren't just experts; they're storytellers who transform expertise into influence. They understand that brilliant ideas remain trapped without the vehicle of the story to carry them into the world.

Your professional future may depend not on what you know but on how compellingly you can share it. So perhaps the most important question isn't "What's your skill set?" but rather "What's your story?"

Put your storytelling skills to work:

Think of a recent work win or challenge
Write 3-5 sentences with a beginning (challenge), middle (approach), and end (result)
Include one vivid detail that creates a mental image

Share your mini-story! Email to thisjustin@msnewslady.com with "My Story" in the subject line and your Instagram handle. I'll feature my favorites in my stories!

Let's see your narrative magic in action!

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The abundance of no: Why turning down opportunities created more

Jeannette Reyes — Thu, 13 Mar 2025 12:52:00 +0000

The Secret Superpower We Don't Talk About Enough

I literally stopped in my tracks when I heard Warren Buffett say, "The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say 'no' to almost everything."

Wait, what?! The secret wasn't hustling harder and saying yes to everything? This completely flipped my understanding of success on its head. 🤯

As someone who built a career on reliability and hustle, saying no felt like admitting weakness, yet learning when to decline opportunities has been the most empowering skill I've developed as an entrepreneur.

The Scarcity Trap Is Real

Let me be honest with you; I operated from a scarcity mindset for years. I didn't know my worth, and I believed other opportunities wouldn't come along.

Especially as a newbie in the content creator space, in my early days, I said yes to brand partnerships even when I didn't have the bandwidth. Sound familiar?

Now, as an entrepreneur and a mom, I've had to get real about what matters. When I say yes to one thing, I'm inevitably saying no to something else — often something I love more, like family time or simply room to breathe.

My Decision Triangle (Game Changer!)

In my business now, I turn down 40-50% of the deals that come my way. Wild, right? My decisions rest on three essential criteria:

1. Values Alignment
When an opportunity doesn't reflect what I stand for, it's a no — regardless of the money on the table.

2. Capacity Check
I've learned to ask: "Can I deliver my best on this, given what's already on my plate?" My calendar and energy levels have become non-negotiable factors.

3. Value Recognition. Finally, I assess whether opportunities recognize my true value.

Often, brands have returned with offers three or four times higher after I initially declined. One has become a repeat client after I held firm. The key? Show them why your standards are high: your work delivers that value.

The No-Saying Blueprint

Here's what's working for me:

⏳ Practice the pause. Try to avoid responding to opportunities immediately—a 24-hour waiting period can provide space to evaluate without emotional pressure. This isn't just intuition—it's backed by science. Research shows we make better decisions when we delay our response. By pausing, we give our brains time to filter out distractions and focus on what truly matters. That 24-hour rule? It's your brain's best friend for making choices aligned with your actual goals.
🎤 Be clear. Express gratitude, provide a concise reason if appropriate, and maintain the door for future alignment when relevant.
🤔 Use the "regret test." Ask yourself: "Will I regret saying yes to this a week from now when I'm overwhelmed?" This simple question has saved me from so many overcommitments!
💡 Recognize the opportunity in refusal. Each no creates space for something better aligned with your goals and values.

Let's Keep It Real, Though

Full transparency: I'm still working on this! I have moments of weakness where I'm tempted to fill those precious "OOO" days with a brand partnership I've been dying to work with , even when I desperately need a vacation.

I've built systems that force me to pause before responding, and I've surrounded myself with a team that respects work-life balance in everything we do.

From Scarcity to Abundance: The Plot Twist

In a scarcity mindset, every opportunity feels like your last. With an abundance mindset, you recognize that saying no to what's just good creates space for what's truly great.

The math is simple: Every yes costs something. Every no creates space. The most valuable currency in business isn't money; it's focus. And focus comes from ruthless prioritization.

No one tells you this when climbing the ladder: Success isn't measured by how many opportunities you accept but by how wisely you filter them.

The best deals I've ever made weren't the ones I said yes to. They were the ones I walked away from, creating room for something better to find me.

That's the real power of no; not as a defense mechanism, but as your most strategic offensive move.

What opportunities are you saying yes to that might deserve a second look? What can help you reclaim your time and energy this week? I'd love to hear how it goes! ✨

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Delegation: The drug I never knew I needed

Jeannette Reyes — Thu, 06 Mar 2025 13:52:00 +0000

_{The Art of Delegation: From Agnostic to Evangelist}

These days, I've become a bit of a zealot about delegation (which is funny because I spent years as a delegation agnostic). I joke that I'm a recent convert to the lifestyle, but the truth is, I was forced into it after hitting a wall.

Why? I simply can’t scale my business while being involved in every detail, personally and professionally. Something had to give. 🤯

When I tell you that delegating has been like a drug, I'm not exaggerating. This euphoric feeling washes over you when you realize you have time to breathe and yet things are still getting done.

It's truly a win-win situation that has transformed my life and work.

_{What Delegation Is (and Isn't)}

Delegation isn't simply about offloading tasks you dislike or find tedious. When you delegate effectively, you're not just clearing your plate; you're creating growth opportunities (for yourself and others).

That said, the art of delegation requires honest self-assessment.

You have to be realistic about what you can and cannot do effectively, and accept that you could probably do it yourself—perhaps even better—but at what expense?

Your precious time? Your mental health? Your ability to focus on high-impact work? 👀

To this end, don't let perfect be the enemy of good. Sometimes "done" is just as valuable as "perfect," especially when it creates space to tackle the things only you truly can do.

_{How to Delegate Effectively on the Job}

When determining what to delegate, ask yourself:

Is this task essential to my core function or expertise?
Could someone else complete this at 80% of my quality but in half the time?
Am I the bottleneck in this process?
Would delegating this free me to focus on higher-value activities?
Is performing this task myself the best use of my limited time?

Effective delegation requires investment. I hired experts who could elevate tasks beyond my capabilities. I had honest discussions with my team about what I no longer needed to manage. I empowered people I trust to make decisions independently.

For my podcast, "Awf the Record," this meant bringing on a social media manager and a production assistant. This improved our content quality while freeing me to focus on what I do best: connecting with guests and creating meaningful conversations.

_{Bringing Delegation Home}

The delegation revolution hasn't stopped at my office door. My husband and I have recently implemented weekly meetings to look ahead and identify areas where we need support.

We've started using the Skylight Calendar. This digital family calendar displays everyone's schedules in one place. (And no, this is not sponsored by Skylight—I just LOVE it that much, and everyone should know about it!)

Every night, I add tasks to our shared to-do list for the next day, and Robert checks it in the morning to get started. This system has done wonders! It keeps us on the same page and helps me clearly communicate where I need support.

When I shared this purchase with my followers, many wanted to learn more, while others mentioned they were already using it (and were obsessed as well!).

One follower and fellow Skylight user, @karoliiinnne, shared these tips:

Share the load. Have your family download the app and add to it.
Schedule setup time. Block out specific time to sync calendars, enter birthdays, add recurring activities, and log appointments.
Make it a habit. Don't wait to add something that takes less than a minute. Update it in real time before you forget.

Beyond Skylight, I rely on Google Calendar for team scheduling, Slack for quick communication, Spark for email management, and Calendly to eliminate scheduling back-and-forth.

_{The Reality Check: I'm Still Learning to Break Free From the “Do It All” Mentality}

I’m not going to lie; developing my delegation skills has come with a steep learning curve. Last week, I caught myself micromanaging my husband, wanting something done in a very particular way.

Some days, I crush it at letting go; other days, I revert to old habits. 😵‍💫

The difference now? I recognize when I'm doing it and course-correct faster. This feels especially resonant during Women's History Month. According to Forbes, women leaders in particular struggle with delegation due to overwhelm, perfectionism and fear of appearing weak. Research shows this makes women more likely to experience burnout than their male counterparts.

Our "superwoman syndrome" stems from social conditioning that taught us to nurture and multitask.

The truth? Multitasking isn't heroic. It's a path to burnout, reducing productivity by up to 40%.

This month, I challenge you to embrace a new mindset: your value isn't in how much you handle alone but in how effectively you collaborate to create something greater than any individual could accomplish.

Your worth isn't measured by your exhaustion. Your value doesn't increase with each item on your to-do list. You deserve support. You deserve space to breathe. You deserve to focus on the things that truly light you up.

Delegation isn't surrender—it's strategy. And sometimes, the most powerful thing a queen can do is share her crown. 👸🏽

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Nostalgia and new beginnings: my Fox5 comeback

Jeannette Reyes — Thu, 27 Feb 2025 16:21:32 +0000

Hey Friend,

This week brought me down memory lane, like you wouldn’t believe.

For the first time since I left the newsroom (over a year ago!), I stepped back into the Fox5 studio. But instead of an anchor, I was a guest. This was my first live TV appearance since my departure. And even though it was to a familiar place, being back in the studio again felt pretty surreal. 🤯

The night before the interview, my nerves took hold. So many questions were running in my head: how would I condense so much into just a four-minute segment? How would my old viewers receive me? Would this comeback make me want to return to my former career? As someone comfortable in the role of interviewer, being on the other side of it all after so much time away felt, if I’m being totally honest, daunting.

Despite the evening jitters and restless night, the morning brought my throwback routines: makeup, hair, and the perfect jewel-toned outfit to stand out on camera. When Robert and I drove to the studio, I felt more even, and as we entered the lobby, a flood of familiar faces greeted us. The security protocols, once second nature, now marked my changed status: I was a guest.

When I approached the 6th floor, nostalgia washed over me. This was my world for years: arriving before dawn, coffee in hand, preparing for intense live segments. But today, I was preparing my own thoughts, not questions for others.

In the greenroom, I was the one being mic'd up; no IFB necessary. An IFB is an earpiece that anchors use to hear cues and other important information from the producer. Oddly enough, the absence of that little earpiece was disarming, reminding me that I was here to speak, not to steer.

Walking into the studio, my former colleagues brought on the hugs and made me feel right at home. The segment, hosted by my former co-anchor Steve Chenevey and Marissa Mitchell, surprisingly felt like riding a bike.

From knowing what camera to look at to being mindful of the time because I swear I could almost hear the producer saying, "standby," "roll open," "last question," "15 seconds," "wrap and toss to break.” We discussed my pivot, the reasons behind it, and current events like the TikTok ban. The familiarity of the studio setup and the camaraderie made the jitters disappear.

After we wrapped, I toured the newsroom, peeked at my old desk, and shared laughs and updates with friends. Being back rekindled fond memories, but it also solidified my decision to leave. It reassured me that while I missed certain aspects of my previous role, my current path is the right one for me.

And get this — my segment on NBC4 Washington also aired that morning. We did a deep dive into the Pivot Playbook and explored all the insights you can gain from it.

Talk about a full-circle day!😮

Plus, there’s still time to join the waitlist. If you’re thinking about pivoting, this is definitely for you.

If you had asked me years ago if I'd ever leave Fox5, my answer would have been no without any hesitation. Yet here I am, having bet on myself and finding the journey incredibly worth it.

Don't be afraid to leave behind something wonderful for something with the potential to be even better. Embrace the possibilities that come with change, and trust that the best is yet to come. 🥰

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Long-distance newlyweds: what I learned and what I'd change

Jeannette Reyes — Thu, 13 Feb 2025 13:52:00 +0000

Hey friend,

Happy Valentine's Week! ❤️ As I'm surrounded by flowers and heart-shaped chocolates, I'm taking a moment to reflect on my almost-a-decade-long journey with my husband, Robert. It's kinda surreal to think that we've actually spent more time apart than together.

Robert and I dated for three years before tying the knot, and we were practically inseparable. But my move to Philly, just two months before our wedding, marked the beginning of 4.5 years of commuting back and forth to DC every weekend. Yes, for real—4.5 years! It was definitely a challenging time. Working opposite shifts meant our hellos were often rushed as one of us dashed off to work, and our goodbyes were always bittersweet.

We were so tired when we saw each other, and because of that, we were often irritable. We’d try to discuss touchy topics when we were together, but that proved to be a horrible idea every time. To be honest, I was pretty depressed most of my time in Philly; I really hated the long distance, and it was hard to make friends. But it did wonders for my career—it was one of the top stations in the country! So even when my contract came up three years in, I renewed.

But you know what? This time apart taught Robert and me some seriously invaluable lessons about love and commitment. I also learned that I struggle with being vulnerable (and that it made things much more difficult in our marriage than they should've been).

Here are a few more key takeaways that have fortified our bond:

🗣️ Counseling can be proactive: Don't wait for a crisis to hit before going to marriage counseling. It’s such a great tool to level-up your communication and conflict resolution skills. It's all about teamwork, and making sure you're both ready to handle whatever life throws at you.
⏳ Quality > quantity: Back then, our dates were rare but rich—every minute of our 48-hour visits was precious. This taught us that it's not about being together 24/7, but making the most of the time you do have.
👯‍♀️ Find your people: Don't isolate yourselves! Connect with friends and other couples who are going through similar things. It can help you see your own problems in a new light and make your relationship even stronger.
🎥 Real recognize reel: Beware of comparing your everyday life to the polished scenes on social media. Embrace the realness of your relationship and remember that every couple has their own challenges (even if they don't share them online).

And this, friend, is where the whole “love language” thing comes in. Robert and I hit a rough patch where it felt like we just couldn't see eye to eye, even though we were both genuinely trying to make the other feel loved and appreciated. It was like we were literally speaking different languages, which was a breakthrough when we realized it.

I knew about love languages in theory, but this was when I really understood their importance. We learned that to truly connect and show our love, we had to adapt and express our affection in ways that worked for each other, not just in the ways that were easiest for us. Love means having to get out of your comfort zone, you know?

I love the saying "to be loved is to be seen." When you show love in your partner's preferred way (their love language), it communicates that you truly see and understand their needs and desires. It's a form of validating and recognizing their unique emotional makeup.

If you're looking to connect more deeply with your partner, I suggest finding out what their love language is and adapting your expressions of love accordingly. It could be a simple act of service (like making their morning coffee, or emptying the dishwasher), a thoughtful gift, or just hanging out together. Whatever it is, make sure it speaks to them!

The way my heart is melting…

So, this Valentine's, I'm feeling especially grateful to spend it at home in DC with Robert and our daughter, Bella. 🥰 And reflecting on our past has made these moments even sweeter. We recently captured this in a family photoshoot, showcasing our day-to-day joy—from playful dress-ups to Bella's hair routines—all beautifully shot by our trusted photographer, Antwon Maxwell.

Speaking of adapting, we decided to go the candid route with the photos. Bella is two and runs the show! In past shoots, I’d stress out about the moments we were "supposed" to capture. This time, I decided that in the spirit of the holiday, we would simply do the things that we do every day with love. We even got a sweet shot of Robert doing baby girl’s hair! (He struggled with it at first, but has since learned how to slay some pigtails.) Ironically, Bella was in the best mood we'd seen her for a family photoshoot. 😂

As for our Valentine's Day plans? Cozy and low-key. We're going to a nice jazz club, buying some Insomnia Cookies, and eating junk food while we watch a movie. With our busy schedules, this night will be a cherished pause. But don’t worry, we're already cooking up a mini-getaway to extend this us-time.

I'd love to hear from you too! How do you keep the spark alive, especially those of you who've navigated the long haul of marriage? Drop me your tips or share your plans for celebrating love this week, whether it's Valentine's or Galentine's Day.

In fact, send me a pic of you and your Valentine or Galentine, and I'll share it on my IG stories! Just make sure you share your username so I can tag you. I'd also love to hear how you met and how long you've been together.

Here’s to love, in all of its many forms. 💘

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Shoutout to dLeña’s Mexican restaurant in DC—they have a downstairs mezcal lounge that hosts live jazz performances, and it’s amazing!

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Until Next Time,